Living in Death's Shadow
by Kittanja
Summary: Isabella finally thought her life was moving down a brighter path when she ended up at her third foster home in Forks. After quickly being pulled into the knowledge of the hidden magic in the world, everything seems to crumble apart around her. She makes a promise, but living without love is a hard life to live, and it's hard to love when everyone you love seems to die. Rated M!
1. Chapter One: Forks

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight! I'm playing with her story, no infringement is intended! This story is Rated M for Mature. Please, don't make me responsible for getting lemon juice in your innocent eyes. There's adult subject matter, angsty stuff, death, and some dark stuff guys. A/U, some canon couples.**

**This story isn't a Bella/ Jacob story, but it does start out as one. There are chapter titles if you want to skip ahead. ****This story has been edited from what I originally wrote. Character names and descriptions had been different in the original. Carry on, and leave some reviews if you can!**

**Chapter One :: Forks**

**Isabella**

I sat in silence with my social worker on the three and a half hour journey from Seattle to the small town of Forks. Renee was a sweet woman. She had been the closest thing to someone who cared about me since my mother's accident. No, that wasn't fair. I knew that she truly did care about me; I bet she would have offered to take me in herself if she didn't already have three young boys.

I watched the trees rush by in a blur of green, the heavy rain making everything blend together. There were hardly any other cars on the road as we passed the "Welcome to Forks, Washington" sign, and it seemed so quiet. It was a nice change from the city, but I still didn't want to be here.

"Do I have to do this?" I asked her quietly. I didn't look at her, afraid that she might see my fear if she looked into my eyes. I felt her watching me for a moment before she replied.

"I'm sorry Isabella, but Mr. Swan is a really good guy, and I think this will be good for you." I felt her soft hand on my arm, and I closed my eyes. "Please, trust me." After a moment, I nodded slightly. I refused to let myself cry anymore; I had wasted too much of my life on that already. In nine more months, I would be eighteen. I would be able to access my trust fund, and be free to live on my own. Even if this place didn't work out either, it would probably be the last foster home they tried to put me in. The process usually took quite a while.

The town seemed very small, nothing like Seattle. It felt like the majority of it was off of one long main road, and all of the establishments had very uninspired names; 'Diner,' 'Grocery Store,' 'Hospital.' The High School was tiny compared to my last, and I hoped that wouldn't make it too hard to just blend in. After taking a couple side streets, she pulled down a short dead end and parked in front of a small, two-story house right next to the forest. I immediately stiffened, the police cruiser in the driveway doing nothing to make me feel more comfortable. I shot a look at Renee, raising an eyebrow. We were in the middle nowhere.

"I know," she said sympathetically. "But I've met with him three times already. He gives me a really good vibe, and I think you'll like him." She turned off the engine, and went to unlock the trunk. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and got out of the car. Grabbing the second of my two large suitcases, I followed Renee up the walk way, and watched as she rang the doorbell.

Charlie Swan looked to be in his late forties. He had dark brown hair that was peppered with grey, and warm, chocolate-brown eyes eerily similar to my own. When he smiled, the sides of his eyes crinkled slightly. He didn't have that slightly-off look that made me so uncomfortable from the first moment I had met George. I still did not know this man in the slightest though. I gripped my grey suitcase tightly.

"Hey Mr. Swan," Renee said warmly.

"Please, come in before you get soaked." He seemed slightly nervous; there was the faintest shake in his friendly voice. I walked in behind Renee, but didn't copy her when she put down the suitcase she was carrying. The feel of my arms about to fall off was helpfully distracting. She spoke as she started to unbutton her coat.

"So Charlie, let me finally introduce you to Isabella Larose. Isabella, this is Mr. Swan." He put out his hand with a nervous smile, and I slowly shifted my suitcase to one hand before taking it.

"You can just call me Charlie. I'm really happy to finally meet you Isabella." He sounded really genuine about it, but I was still having trouble speaking. He relaxed slightly, and I felt like he could sense just how nervous and uncomfortable I was. "Can I take your suitcase for you kiddo?" He asked gently, and I reluctantly let him every tangible memory I owned out of my hand.

"Thank you," I finally forced out, and I winced at hearing it come out as more of a squeak. Renee put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," he said happily, and grabbed the other suitcase with his free hand. "Why don't you guys follow me upstairs, and you can both check out Isabella's room."

"That's a great idea," she said, and I followed the two of them upstairs. At the top of the wooden staircase there was a small bathroom, with a bedroom on each side.

"There's the bathroom. My room's the one on the left," he said, nodding his head. "And you're over here." He pushed the half-closed door open with the suitcase in his left hand, and set them both down gently once he was inside the room. "Do you like purple? It's what the saleswoman recommended. Sorry," he said awkwardly.

It was the biggest bedroom I had had since I left my father's house. There was a twin sized bed on the left side of the room with purple sheets and a white down comforter. On the opposite side of the window that was centered on the back wall was a small corner desk with shelves. It had a plain wooden chair in front of it. On the right wall there was a wooden dresser that had a few sets of towels, and an extra set of sheets stacked on the top. I blinked really hard to stop the stinging in my eyes.

"If you don't like them we can go out and you can pick some new ones," he said in a worried tone. I hadn't realized that I'd forgotten to speak, and interrupted him quickly.

"No! Purple's great. Thank you very much Mr. Swan, this is really nice." I was only with Rita and Carl for a month and a half, but the guest room they had me staying in reeked of cigarettes, the paint on the walls yellowed from tobacco smoke. Then Rita got pregnant. Six months later is when I went to live with Tara and George, and they had me sharing a room with their two daughters. Between those places and the ward, I was more than content with this. I had dreamed of buying purple sheets before.

"Please, just Charlie," he reminded me. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Why don't you get a little settled in Isabella, and I'm going to go downstairs and do some paperwork with Charlie." She gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and they both left me alone. I stood and listened to them walk down the creaky wooden stairs. I heard Renee open up the clips on her briefcase, and the rumble of her voice as she started having him sign some legal contracts. I picked up my suitcases and laid them gently against the wall beneath the window beside each other. I opened the lock on the grey one on the left, and lifted the lid. I took out the quilt that my mother had made me as a child, my most prized possession, and laid it out across my bed. Then I took out my frayed copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream and placed it on my desk. I stared down at the remainder of its contents; a few other worn books, random knickknacks of my mother's, some photo albums, my shower bag, an old stuffed animal, my silver pocket knife. I took the shower bag out also, setting it on the dresser, and hesitated in front of the open suitcase. Slowly, I looked up and out of the window.

It was a delicate, peaceful view into Charlie's small backyard, sitting on the edge of the forest. Little bits of snow clung to the branches of the thick pine trees, and brown dead leaves covered the forest floor. The rain was pouring down the glass, and I could hear nothing but the faint sound of Renee's and Charlie's voices downstairs. It was too quiet. I sighed, took out my pocket knife, slipped it into my pillowcase, and locked my suitcase before sitting down on the bed. I knew Renee would be telling Charlie things about me, things that had happened in my past, and I had no desire to listen to the story. I closed my eyes, and concentrated on the pattering of the rain against the siding of the house.

**. . . . .**

Renee called for me almost an hour later, and I went downstairs and joined them in a small kitchen. There was a round wooden table in the middle of the room with three mismatched chairs. I sat in the one empty one, and noted that it matched the one in my bedroom. The one in my room was in a little bit better of shape, and I wondered idly if he had purposely put the nicest one in my room.

Renee sat with us for about two hours, talking as little as possible and watching me as Charlie engaged me in small talk. He told me a bit about himself; he was the Chief of Police in the small town of Forks, never married and didn't have any kids. He had lived here his entire life, liked watching sports games and fishing. He asked me about my hobbies, what types of food I liked, what my favourite movies were and all sorts of easy questions. I had never been good at making polite conversation, but I got the feeling that he wasn't either, and was trying very hard. So I tried my best to keep up my end and make it easier on him. When six rolled around, and the sky had begun to darken, Renee cleared her throat and my stomach clenched.

"Well I think you two are going to be just fine, so I better get on the road. It's a bit of a drive back to Seattle." Charlie and I both stood up quickly, at the exact same time, and Renee gave us a strange smile. We both walked with her to the front door. She buttoned up her pea coat and gave me a smile that was so loving it made my heart clench. I ignored the stinging sensation in my eyes again, but knew that she saw it. She was so perceptive with me. She pulled me into a tight hug, and I squeezed back almost desperately. "You'll be fine, I promise," she whispered before pulling away. "Well, I'll see you both again next Saturday, and you both have my number." She gave me a meaningful look as she said that, and I nodded in understanding.

"Drive safely, there are a lot of deer around here," Charlie said as she ran down the short path to her car through the rain. We watched her pull away, waving good bye, and stood in the doorway silently for a long, awkward moment.

"You want some pizza? I'm not much of a cook," he admitted shyly, breaking the silence.

"Sure, I like pizza." He smiled in relief, and I followed him to his living room. He sat down in a worn armchair, and gestured for me to take a seat on the couch while he dialed the phone and turned on the TV. Ugh, baseball. I found sports dreadfully boring to watch, the fact that I could barely walk in a straight line without injuring myself didn't help my interest. It was his house though, and I wouldn't say anything to upset him. At least we wouldn't be sitting in awkward silence. After he was done on the phone, I felt like he was trying to look at me without actually _looking_ at me. He ruffled his hair slightly, and I wondered if it was some sort of nervous habit.

"You have a really nice house Charlie," I said, just wanting to say something. I was trying not to fidget, or make it too obvious that I just wanted to go upstairs and hide by myself behind a book. He seemed to relax a bit.

"Thanks Isabella. I'm sorry; I'm really not good at this sort of stuff. It's probably obvious, but you're the first, uhm…"

"Foster kid?" I supplied for him. He nodded with an odd expression, like he didn't like the word. Or maybe it was just me, did I say it rudely? Did I upset him somehow? I felt my nails dig into the couch cushion.

"I'm not exactly sure what to do," he confessed, face gentle once again. My hands relaxed. He finally made eye contact, and I wasn't sure what the expression on his face represented. He turned his chair to face me more directly. "Surely you must have more questions?" It was almost a plea for help. I tried not to be too obvious about the deep breath I took to calm myself. _Come on, I've done this twice before; I can handle it one more time._

"What's your work schedule like?" I was proud that it came out clearly, my voice didn't shake.

"Well it changes sometimes depending on the work load, but for next couple weeks it should just be Monday to Friday, eight to five. Once you're settled in though, I'll be going back in earlier."

"You really don't need to alter your schedule for me," I said quietly, then was immediately anxious. Of course he wouldn't want to leave a strange kid alone in his house, what if he thought I was trying to get him to leave so that I could rob him?

"Don't worry about it," he waved it off, peeking at the score. It looked like some sort of bird team was beating a team with a cat logo. I had succeeded in getting the ball rolling. "So I'll be dropping you off at school Monday. Classes start at a quarter after seven but we'll have to go in early Monday morning. You're enrolled and expected, but there's some paperwork that you need to fill out. I'll be able to pick you up afterwards, but I'll have to drop you off at home and go back to work for a couple hours." He was going to trust me alone in his house? "I feel like I ought to warn you though. It's a small town, and they don't get new kids too often. You might stand out a bit," he said sympathetically. Oh, great. "Well, we did actually have a few other new kids a little while back, they were a big deal for a little while apparently, but they moved away again not long ago." It had been years? Oh god, I bet the majority of kids here had grandparents that went to school with each other. It was bad enough that I was transferring into the school in December, the semester already started months ago, and if I hadn't fit in with a school of a few thousand, how would I fit into a school of only a few hundred? I was a grade ahead though, so thankfully this would be my last year.

"But we'll have tomorrow all to ourselves. So if you're up for it, we can go for a drive and I can show you around town, and we'll stop and pick up some groceries and get you whatever sort of food you like, and anything else that you need. Then maybe we could go out for dinner?"

I was a little overwhelmed. This isn't how it worked. He gave me my own room, would let me stay in his house without watching me twenty-four-seven, wanted to take me out shopping and buy me things. It was too much, too good to be true, and therefore there was some sort of catch. I started feeling uneasy.

"Why?" I blurted out apprehensively.

He gave me a confused look. "Why what?"

There were a lot of why's, but I narrowed down my choices and decided on only two. "Why did you apply for a foster child? Why did you want me here?"

I'm not sure what he heard in my voice. As he contemplated his response, I tried to determine what emotion was playing on his features. Disappointment, sadness, anger? "I never had kids, but that didn't mean that I didn't _want_ kids. I'm getting older now though, and I don't want to settle down or adopt a baby. I guess… I was just a bit lonely." He watched for my reaction, but I gave him none. I was still waiting for the catch, but not really wanting to say something and upset him. He furrowed his eyebrows, stood up, and sat down beside me on the couch. I slightly shifted away, but I think he saw it. He made no attempt to touch me though. "Isabella. I know you've been through a lot of horrible things in your life." I hated that Renee had to tell them about my past, it made me feel weak. And I was _not_ weak. "I know it will probably take you a while to believe me, but I want you to know that you are safe here. I don't want anything from you, besides maybe a bit of your time. I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do, except go to school. I just want to give you a chance to be happy. I won't send you away or return you like defected merchandise. I won't hurt you. My home is _your_ home now, for as long as you want it to be."

It was hard not to believe the sincerity that was in his voice and in his eyes as he spoke, but I refused to let my hopes get too high. It wasn't worth the pain of the fall. Not wanting to upset him either though, I did what I did best in awkward conversations. Steer away from them. "I actually like school," I said, slightly smiling. He raised an eyebrow before smiling back genuinely at me. That moment the doorbell rang, causing us both to jump.

"Good, so there won't be any arguments then," he said lightly, walking over to the door while pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

We sat in his living room together and ate dinner, and I watched him in my peripherals as he jumped excitedly when one team would make a point or goal, whatever it was, and grumbled annoyingly when the other team did likewise. As I watched him relax into what I assumed was his regular behaviour, I felt myself relaxing also. A while after we finished, I tried, and failed, to hide a yawn.

"Hey kiddo, you don't have to keep me company. Feel free to head up to your room if you want. I left some towels on your dresser if you want to take a shower or whatever." I tried not to be obvious with my relief, glad that apparently he wasn't the hovering type.

"Thanks Mr.-" He gave me a pointed look,"- uh, thanks Charlie. Goodnight."

"Good night Isabella. Don't be shy to ask if you need anything." I nodded, and went upstairs to my room.

It was as good of a time as any to check out the shower, so I grabbed my toiletry bag, a pair of pyjamas and a towel, and slipped into the bathroom. I marveled at the fact that I would only be sharing a bathroom with one person. It took me a minute to figure out that the hot and cold markers were reversed, and once I got the water to warm up, I couldn't help my usual habit of rushing a bit. I was sure to clean up every spot of water and hair, making sure to leave Charlie's bathroom exactly as I had found it, then slipped back into my room. When I closed my door, I noticed a new eye-and-hook lock had been screwed in on my side of the room. I could lock out anyone from coming in, but couldn't be locked in myself. I didn't hesitate on latching it closed. After turning out my light and curling up in my familiar quilt, I was surprised to find how exhausted I was. I drifted off quickly, not being able to stop my hand from curling involuntarily around my pocket knife in my pillowcase.

**. . . . .**

I woke up the next morning jumping at the sound of Charlie closing the bathroom door. I made my bed neatly, got dressed in a pair of jeans, a thin white t-shirt and a faded purple hoodie. After pulling my thick hair into a ponytail, I unlocked my door, and sat down cross-legged on my bed while opening up my book. An hour later, after listening to Charlie bang around in his kitchen, I smelt the delicious smell of bacon, and then heard him walk up the stairs. He paused for a moment before knocking gently on my door. I jumped up and opened it quickly.

I saw him take a quick survey of my room, but he didn't say anything about my still-packed suitcases. "Morning Isabella. I cooked some breakfast if you're hungry."

"Okay," I said. He motioned for me to go ahead of him, so I walked out of my room and went downstairs.

It's not like I hadn't had someone cook me breakfast before. The women in the cafeteria made breakfast for everyone in the boarding house. But this was different. There were two plates on the table, each with a big pile of bacon, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast, and two glasses of orange juice. The last time someone had made breakfast _just_ for me was my Mom, before the accident. That was over eight years ago now. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, and closed them tightly to suppress it. Charlie pulled out a chair for me, and ushered for me to sit down before taking a seat himself, like it was nothing at all.

"Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't like it," he said as he started to dig into his plate. "I'm not much of a cook. This and burning hotdogs on the barbeque are about the extent of my capabilities." He smiled apologetically at me.

"No, this is great Charlie. Thank you," I said a bit thickly. He waved off my compliment, and we ate quietly for a moment. It wasn't uncomfortable though. I felt like we kind of connected, I was comfortable... sort of, around him, which was a rare thing for me. Suddenly, I was desperate to try and make myself useful, to not be a burden to him. He didn't seem to hate me or anything, but I wanted this kind man to like me too. "I can cook," I said, startling him.

"What?" he said over a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

"I know how to cook. I don't mind cooking for you if you want." _Don't do this to yourself, it always ends up badly. You're just going to make the inevitable worse._

"You don't have to do that Isabella. I've managed fine on my own for the past forty-eight years, I didn't ask for you because I wanted you to work for me." He sounded like he actually meant it. A lot of people, when they foster an older kid, expect them to pretty much be a free babysitter and house keeper. But those were things I was coincidentally good at.

"It wouldn't be work, it's something I actually enjoy." He raised an eyebrow, and I looked down at my plate. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to argue. I just don't want to be a burden. You've done so much for me already."

I think I heard him sigh, but he didn't yell at me like I had expected. "Isabella, you are by far the most resigned seventeen-year-old I have ever met. I don't think that qualifies as an argument." His voice was very gentle, and I had to fight the burning sensation in my eyes from overpowering me. "If you really want to cook, you can cook. But don't think you need to earn your keep or any nonsense like that. You're not a burden." When it felt safe to open my eyes, I noticed that my fork was shaking in my hand and I put it down. I smiled as best as I could for him, and I was rewarded with another of his eye-crinkling grins.

After we finished eating I automatically went to take his plate to wash. He made to grab my arm, and I flinched away, dropping the plate on the table. "Sorry!" I squeaked, and he pulled his arm back to his side quickly.

"No no, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

I nodded silently. He didn't move, and I hesitantly picked up the plate again and washed the dishes quickly. I swear that I felt him watching me the entire time, but he didn't say anything. I was finished in only a couple minutes, and turned to face him.

Sure enough, he had been watching me, and I looked down at my feet, wishing I could stop the blood from rushing to my face. "Do you still want me to show you around town today?" He asked tentatively.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Isabella?" I looked up at him. "Thank you very much for washing the dishes." He almost sounded sad. "We can leave for that tour in a few minutes if you're ready." I nodded. "You should grab your coat though, it's chilly out."

Five minutes later, we were in his Police cruiser, pulling out of the driveway. I was slightly relieved when he didn't make me sit in the back. I paid close attention as we drove into town, trying to commit the names of the streets we took to memory. He showed me where my school was first, then the grocery store, his favourite diner (and the only restaurant in the small town I think,) the hardware store, the hospital. "We had two really amazing Doctors here a while ago. Really nice family. Him and his wife had adopted four teenagers, and his brother-in-law stayed with them also. He got another job offer not long ago and moved though. His were the kids I mentioned last night." Ah, the last 'new attractions' that the town had witnessed.

"What were their names?" I asked, just trying to keep up conversation.

"There was Doctor Cullen, and Doctor Masen," he said, pulling back into the grocery store parking lot. I looked up at him in surprise. "What? Did you know them?"

"A Doctor with the last name Cullen did surgery on me before, when I was sixteen. He saved my life," I told him. I didn't really remember much about him. He had transferred to a new hospital before I got off of the high dosages of pain meds. All I could really remember were his eyes. I had never seen eyes that resembled liquid gold like that before. I knew that he had done the difficult surgery though, and I would never forget the name of the man who had saved my life.

"What a neat coincidence," Charlie said as he pulled into a parking spot. "Can I ask what you were in the hospital for?"

"I fell down some stairs. Ended up breaking a few ribs and they had to stop some internal bleeding." I said quickly. I didn't return his wide-eyed stare, but instead opened up my door, stepped out of the car, and immediately fell on my ass. God, ice did not help the un-coordinated. Charlie rushed to my side, but I was already standing myself up and brushing the slush off of my coat. "Well I guess it's not too hard to believe you fell down the stairs," he said, trying to make a joke. A vision of my father's enraged face, the last time I had ever seen him, flashed in my mind for half of a second. I pushed the thought away and forced a laugh.

I asked Charlie what his favourite meals were, and wasn't surprised to hear that he was a meat and potatoes type of guy. We walked up and down all of the isles, inspecting their selections carefully. Charlie eyed the amount of vegetables and fruit I selected as if they had verbally insulted him, but didn't say anything.

"Is this too much?" I asked, panicking slightly. I didn't have much money.

"No no, not at all. I just didn't think people actually ate those things."

"Things? You mean squash?"

"If that's what it's called than sure." I couldn't help laughing at his tone, and when he smiled at me I felt my face go red.

"Hey Chief Swan," a boy behind him said. He had sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and looked close to my age. He smiled at me strangely; it wasn't a look that I was used to.

"Hey Mike." He followed his gaze. "Oh sorry, Isabella, this is Mike Newton. His parents own the sporting goods store that I showed you earlier. Mike, this is Isabella Larose, she's going to be staying with me from now on." I stared at Charlie, surprised once again by his words. I would have expected to hear 'foster kid' or 'staying with me for a little while' maybe, but not _staying with me from now on_. I gingerly took Mike's outstretched hand and shook it.

"Well, it's really nice to meet you Isabella. I take it you'll be going to school here?"

"Um, yeah. Senior year."

His smile got bigger. "Me too." An older woman, hair the same colour as his, called his name. "Well I gotta go, nice to meet you Isabella. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded, and he hurried over to help his mother, I assumed, to pick up a flat of pop.

"Not very social, are you?" Charlie asked with a bit of a smirk.

"Sorry," I said automatically. I must have seemed rude.

"Don't worry, I'm not either."

**. . . . .**

Once we got back to his house, I helped Charlie carry in the groceries, slipping on the slush once again. He held out a hand to help me up, waiting for me to take it instead of just grabbing onto my arm. After a moment, I took it, and he smiled gently after I assured him I was okay. I helped him put everything away, learning the layout of his kitchen in the process. Once we were done, I cleaned myself up a little before he took me out for an early dinner. It was a little weird because every single person seemed to know him, and by the time we got back I had a bit of a head ache from trying to remember so many names. Or maybe that was from hitting my head on the table when I dropped my napkin. I shouldn't have been so overwhelmed though, it wasn't like this was my first or even second time going through this process, but things felt really different this time.

I excused myself once we were back at the house, and Charlie didn't seem to mind, telling me that I should get plenty of rest for tomorrow. I took a shower, trying to force myself not to rush, and braided my wet hair so it wouldn't be too crazy in the morning. It had a mind of its own most of the time. I quietly locked my door, turned off my light, and curled up into my bed. As soon as I felt the cool piece of metal in my pillowcase I fell asleep.

**. . . . .**

I woke up at four in the morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't dare close my eyes for longer than a blink whenever I had that dream, for fear of re-entering it. The image of my mother's face, dripping with blood in the crushed car, her blank eyes staring at me, past me, through me with lifelessness. Her scream was silent, but still visible on her face. My heart was beating fast, my throat felt painfully swollen, and my eyes burned with unshed tears as I tried to calm my breathing_. No, you will not cry. You will not cry_, I told myself. The chant wasn't helping, so I flicked on my light, got dressed for the day as silently as possible, and continued reading my book. The familiar words soothed me. I put all of my concentration into reading the words slowly and loudly in my mind, drowning out all errant thoughts. When I heard Charlie start his shower I slipped downstairs. I grabbed an apple, and munched on it while I got the ingredients together to make an omelette for him. I was just sliding it onto a plate for him as he walked into the kitchen.

"Is this for me?" He asked in shock. I nodded, and went to finish my dishes. "Wow Isabella. This. Is. Amazing." He said, and I smiled. I sat with him as he finished his coffee, observing him in uniform from the corner of my eye. He had a gun holstered on his hip and everything, and looked all the part of Chief of Police. Once he was done, we headed out to his cruiser. I walked very carefully, determined not to get soaked in slush on my first day at a new school. I was happy that the parking lot was close to empty, and assured Charlie that I could handle the paperwork on my own. It was bad enough being the new kid, the thought of being escorted around by the Chief of Police in uniform on my first day was painful. He dropped me off in front of the head office, wishing me luck and offering me a sympathetic smile.

The receptionist was a very sweet woman. She looked to be in her late thirties, with a rounder face, dyed red hair and a big smile. She didn't ask me any prying questions and she had me read and sign the school's code of conduct and read over the few pages of their rules and guidelines. After she gave me a few pamphlets, my schedule and a map of the school grounds, she asked me if I wanted her to walk me to my first class. I saw something akin to pity in her eyes, and declined politely. I didn't need or want anyone's pity, and tried not to let her expression annoy me as I walked back out into the rain, face buried in my map. I hoped to memorize it quickly; I didn't want to be stumbling around with my face hidden behind a piece of paper all day. The parking lot had filled up quickly, and at the moment the map was helping me avoid all of the curious stares I could feel watching me.

I made it to my first class without incident. Calculus. It wasn't my best subject, but I had been in an early advanced class at my last school. They didn't have anything like that at this school, and I was confident that I would breeze through my classes here. I introduced myself to my teacher, and was completely horrified by the fact that he made me introduce myself to the class before he pointed me to the one empty seat next to a girl with long brown hair. The teacher said that they would start by going over last night's home work, and I tried inconspicuously to peek at the page number on my neighbor's textbook. She caught me.

"It's page 307, we had to do all of the odd numbered questions,' she whispered.

"Thanks."

"I'm Angela by the way. It's nice to meet you."

"Isabella. And it's nice too met you too," I said, mirroring her friendly smile. I was worried that she would start asking me questions and get me in trouble with the teacher, but we sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the class. The teacher assigned our new homework, and we had the last ten minutes of class to get started. I finished half.

"What's your next class?" Angela asked me politely. I handed my time table over to her. "Oh, I have English too. I can walk with you if you'd like," she offered shyly.

"Oh, um, sure. Thanks," I stuttered. She went back to her homework then, and I smiled a bit. I think I liked this girl, but reminded myself again not to get too attached. The bell rang, and I brought a sheet to the teacher to sign, and walked with Angela to our next class. She helpfully pointed out the washrooms, the library, the gym and the cafeteria on the way. We entered our second class and she waved goodbye as she went to take her seat. Thankfully this teacher didn't feel the need to make me embarrass myself again as he handed me a text book, a copy of Romeo and Juliet, and pointed me to my seat. There were a few muffled giggles as I caught myself on the corner of his desk, but luckily it didn't knock me over completely. I made my way over to my chair, which was next to none other than Mike Newton.

"Hey Isabella," he said comfortably, like we were old friends. "How was your first class?"

"It was fine. Calculus. Angela seems really nice." The teacher wrote down the reading assignment on the board, then started writing out questions. I smiled; I had read Romeo and Juliet at least four times. It was as close to memorized as I could get without an identic memory. I started writing out the questions quickly, answering each one before I wrote out the next, while Mike kept asking me questions of his own. He wanted to know where I was from, what school I went to in Seattle, if I had a boyfriend there. Eventually he asked how I knew Charlie. "He applied into the foster care program, and I was sent here," I told him bluntly. I didn't see any point in trying to hide it. As I expected, the knowledge seemed to make him slightly uncomfortable, and he stopped asking me questions. I finished the work on the board, and realized that the rest of the class was just now doing the reading. I opened my book and tried to blend in, it wouldn't hurt reading it a fifth time I guess. When the class finished, I went to get my sheet signed and turned in my work, to the professor's surprise.

"You're finished? I was going to give you the week to catch up. The work isn't even due until tomorrow," he said, inspecting my answers. I shrugged.

"I already read the book," I explained uncomfortably.

"Oh, okay. Well good work. I'm sure you'll do just fine here," he told me, handing back the paper with his signature. Mike was waiting for me at the door, and gallantly offered to walk me to my next class. I didn't return any of the stares that followed us down the hall. When we stopped in front of the biology room, he asked me what I had after.

"Gym," I said, not being able to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Me too," he said excitedly, "I'll see you there."

Everyone was already partnered up in pairs at the longer desks and I ended up sitting by myself, to my relief. No one would be bothering me with uncomfortable questions. I took notes as the teacher went about his lecture, and was a little disappointed that there wasn't anything new to learn. It was making the day almost painfully boring. I finished the worksheets that were handed out, then passed the rest of the time reading about cloud types in my textbook. The teacher stopped at my desk, seeing that I was reading something completely unrelated to the assigned work, and picked up my work sheets to inspect. He raised an eye brow at me.

"Were you in advanced biology at your last school by any chance?"

"Yeah, I finished last year," I told him quietly. He nodded, leaving me to myself as he took my work to his desk to correct.

Gym was even worse, and Mike volunteered to partner with me with for volleyball, despite my warnings. I was much better at hitting him with the ball than getting it over the net, and somehow managed to hit myself in the face with my own fist. I saw Angela give me a sympathetic smile, and was impressed that she didn't laugh. She invited me to sit with her for lunch, and I accepted gratefully.

Mike joined us at our table, and it was filled in minutes. Angela introduced me to her boyfriend Ben, and Mike introduced me to a bunch of other people whose names I just couldn't remember. A girl with blond hair, Jessica I think her name was, was watching him intently as he talked, shooting me curious glances every once in a while.

My last two classes, Spanish and History, went by a little faster, offering the first new knowledge of the day and brightening my mood. I was horrible at Spanish, having elected to study French at my last school, and the prospect of trying to learn another new language excited me. I didn't mind history either, there was just so much information, and my textbook promised some new, interesting reading material. Both of the professors were very patient with me, and gave me some extra work to help me catch up. There were only three weeks left before winter break, and they told me that I would be exempt from the winter midterms because I was new to the subjects, offering to let me do a few essays instead.

After going back to the main office, managing to dodge Mike on the way, I handed in my form that all of my teacher's had signed to the red-haired receptionist.

"Did your day go well sweetie?" She asked with genuine interest. I assured her that it had been fine, and was happy to see Charlie parked out front waiting for me.

"Hey kiddo, how was your first day?" he asked me as we pulled out of the parking lot slowly. Nothing slowed down traffic like a cop car.

"It was okay. The other kids seemed really nice. "

"That's good. I'm going to drop you off at home, but then I have to head back into work for a couple hours. You think you'll be okay by yourself for a little while?" He asked, sounding almost guilty. I assured him that I would be fine, and he handed me my own house key. I smiled mentally at the thought of not being locked out, and having to wait for someone else to let me in whenever I got home. His trust put a tight feeling in my chest.

I walked inside by myself, and went up to my room to make a list of the homework I would need to do. Charlie said that he would be home by five, and I decided to get some dinner started for him. I marinated a couple of steaks, cut up some potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and washed some lettuce for a small salad. By the time he got home, I had already finished my calculus homework, and I was plating the steaks and spooning the sautéed vegetables on top of them. He came and joined me in the kitchen.

"Wow Isabella, this looks great. You're going to spoil me," he said, stomach growling audibly. He sat down as I put a plate down in front of him, and un-holstered his gun, setting it down on the table. I couldn't help jumping back slightly. Guns terrified me. He looked up in surprise, then frowned. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm just going to put this away upstairs, I'll be right back." I sat down shakily as I listened to him walk up to his bedroom.

Charlie asked me all sorts of questions about my day. I told him that I enjoyed Spanish and History, but didn't tell him how bored I had been with the repetition of my other classes; I didn't want to come off as conceited. He randomly asked me if I had a driver's licence at one point too. After we finished eating, I cleaned up and excused myself to do my homework in my room. After an hour and half of reading up on the civil war, I took a shower and got comfortable in my bed with my Spanish work. Charlie came and checked on me before he headed to bed, peeking in through my open door.

"How's it going?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Good I guess." He nodded, saying good night and headed off to his room. When I heard his door close, I silently shut my own, locking it. I worked for another half hour, then shut off my light. I was grateful for a dreamless sleep.

**. . . . .**

Despite my own warnings, I quickly fell into a comfortable routine. I learned the names of what became my regular lunch crowd. Every day I ended up sitting between Angela and Mike. Her boyfriend Ben seemed really sweet, and I grew fond of my comfortable friendship with Angela. Jessica always sat with us, it was obvious that she had a thing for Mike, and I learned that they had been on and off for the past year. His talkative friend Tyler sat with us too, along with Jessica's friend Lauren. I seemed to be in my teacher's good books, finishing most of my work during class usually, and didn't struggle too much with the modified material that my afternoon teachers supplied me with.

What surprised me most though was how quickly I became comfortable at Charlie's. It was shocking how much I enjoyed staying with him, and how much alike we were. He was a very quiet and kind man. He never pried or asked me too many questions, and seemed to thoroughly enjoy my cooking. He seemed to quickly grasp how uncomfortable I was with physical contact, and I felt guilty seeing the hurt expression on his face when I would flinch away if he got too close. He gave me plenty of space. I appreciated it, and tried my best to be as small of a burden as possible. I was still grateful to see Renee on Saturday though, and she took me out for coffee at the one restaurant in town.

"So, how are things going here?" she asked hopefully when we settled into our booth.

"Pretty good actually. School's not much of a challenge, but the kids are nice enough. I made a friend," I told her, surprising her.

"And what about things with Charlie?"

"He's… Really nice. Nicer than I'm used to," I admitted quietly. It was hard not to trust Renee, and it was nice to speak comfortably with someone I trusted. "He's an easy person to live with." I felt Renee's hand reach out and take mine, and when I looked up at her, she had the brightest smile on her face. I couldn't stop myself from returning it.

"I'm really glad to hear that," she told me gently. "See! I told you that you'd like it here. This place is going to be good for you, I can feel it," she said confidently.

She stayed for dinner during her short visit, and I didn't have the same dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach when she left this time. Charlie walked her out to her car, and seemed to be asking her a few questions. I gave them some privacy, and went to wash the leftover dishes.

I didn't hear him come back inside, so when he said my name from closely behind me, I screamed and dropped the knife I had been cleaning, splashing bubbles all over myself. "Oh Isabella, I'm so sorry! I should have been louder, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. Jeeze, are you okay?"

I felt a stinging in my right hand, and followed his panicked gaze. The sharp knife had sliced through the meaty part of the palm of my hand, and I could see the muscle underneath. And the blood, oh god. The smell hit me quickly, like salt and rust, as the blood dripped heavily onto the floor. I felt a powerful wave of nausea hit me, and the room titled quickly before everything went black.

**. . . . .**

It was hard to open my eyes, my head was pounding and I felt like I was going to be sick. My right hand was sore, and felt really stiff, but it was my left that caught my attention. It was too warm, and it took me a moment to realize that someone was holding onto it. I ripped it out of Charlie's grasp, sitting up quickly and making the room spin. As soon as I saw the pained look on his face I regretted my actions.

"Sorry," I mumbled, leaning back in the hospital bed.

"Nothing to apologize for kiddo. How are you feeling?"

"Sick," I admitted, closing my eyes tightly.

"I'll go get the doctor," he said hastily, his chair scraping the linoleum floor as he stood up.

"No no, it's okay. It happens whenever I take any sort of painkiller," I admitted. It was something I was familiar with, and was immediately aware that they had given me something while I was out. "How did we get here?"

"Oh, um, you kind of… Fainted. Hit your head on the counter pretty hard on the way down too, the doctor wants to watch you for a little while to make sure you don't have a concussion. I drove you here. It's one of the upsides to having flashing red and blue lights on top of your car." I smiled slightly at his attempt to make me laugh, and inspected my heavily bandaged hand.

"Stitches?" I asked, already knowing the answer, I could feel the tightness of them in my skin.

Charlie nodded. "Eleven. You've lost a bit of blood." We were interrupted by the Doctor coming in.

He was an older man, with grey hair and a bit of a belly. He seemed really tired. "Ah, Miss Larose, you're awake. That's a good sign," he said. I let him take my blood pressure, my heart rate, and he shined a little flashlight in my eyes. "Well, I think you may have a bit of a concussion, but it should be safe enough for you to go home. You'll have to keep a close eye on her, wake her up every couple hours to make sure she's okay, and if you have any nausea or bad migraines come back immediately."

"She nauseous now though!" Charlie said, looking slightly panicked again.

"It's probably just the anesthetic, it will wear off in a couple hours," he said dismissively. Charlie huffed irritably.

"Man, I miss Doctor Cullen already," he grumbled.

"I'm fine, really Charlie. Sorry for putting you through all this trouble."

He looked at me tenderly. "Stop apologizing kid. Let's get you home."

It was nearly midnight when we got back to his place. I couldn't lock my door, because he would have to wake me up frequently, but he assured me that he would do so by knocking loudly. He was obviously afraid to scare me again, and I felt bad with the knowledge that I would be ruining his night of sleep. So much for not being a burden.

**. . . . .**

I was completely exhausted the next couple days, it was hard to feel rested after being woken up every hour, the burning pain in my palm prevented even that little bit of rest from feeling effective. Charlie, against my arguments, called my school saying that I would take Monday and Tuesday off, and called for someone to fill in for him at work. On Tuesday morning I was finally starting to feel a bit more human, and when we stopped at the hospital for my checkup the doctor told me I was in the clear. Charlie was fidgety as we walked back to the car, and I could immediately tell that something was up. He wasn't a hard person to read, but I waited for him to talk when he was ready to. Sure enough, before he pulled out of the parking lot, he turned to face me.

"Isabella, I was thinking of going to visit my friend Billy today, and I was hoping that you would come with me to meet him," he told me nervously. After everything he'd done for me over the past couple days, there was no way I could refuse him this small request.

"Sure, lets go," I said, trying to make my voice sound as positive as possible. I had never had a foster parent introduce me to their best friend before, but didn't want him to see just how nervous it made me.

I was curious when we seemed to drive out of town, and saw an old wooden sign welcoming us to the "La Push Reservation." I had heard the name mentioned at school a couple times, apparently a lot of the kids came down to the beach here in the summer. Not far after crossing into the town limits, we pulled up a gravel drive to a small red and white, weather-beaten house. It had a small ramp that had been installed over the stairs, and I followed tentatively behind Charlie as he walked up and knocked on the door.

The man that answered was in a wheel chair. He seemed about the same age as Charlie, and had rich brown skin and long, black hair. I was immediately aware that this man had a powerful, yet kind air to him. He smiled when he noticed me.

"Come in, come in!" He said in a happy, booming voice. "Isabella, it's so nice to finally meet you! Charlie here hasn't shut up about you coming to stay with him for weeks," he told me with his big smile. I looked over to Charlie curiously, his face was beat red and he was purposely not making eye contact with me. I had that tight, unfamiliar sensation in my chest again. "Please, come sit down."

He led us into a small, cozy living room. An old couch was nestled tightly against the biggest wall, and there were a couple armchairs packed in to the room as well. An old, small TV sat on a short shelf. Charlie sat down on the couch, patting the seat beside him for me to sit down. I slightly tripped over the low coffee table, falling into my seat not very elegantly. Charlie chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

Billy Black and Charlie had been friends since they were young kids, they told me. He was some sort of leader in his small community, that was obvious, but the details of that were a mystery to me. He had three children, twin girls that had moved away from home a few years ago, and a son who still lived with him, who was apparently just a few months younger than I was.

"Where is Jacob, anyways?" Charlie asked him. "I was hoping to introduce him to Isabella today."

"Yeah sorry, he wanted to be here, but something came up and he needed to help his friends with something," he explained vaguely. They sat talking about random things for about an hour, mostly arguing about a recent football game, and I found listening to their banter oddly comforting. I welcomed the smile that I felt slowly form on my face. I was a little surprised when Charlie stood up suddenly, and the two of them each wore a big grin. "Well I think we've wasted enough time."

"Yup," Charlie agreed. "Come outside Isabella, I've got a surprise for you." I felt my face blanch at the hauntingly familiar words, and Charlie's expression changed to one of concern.

"What's wrong Isabella? Are you okay?" He asked, voice full of concern. _Get a hold of yourself. Charlie is different_, I shouted in my mind. I forced a smile on my face.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." He obviously didn't believe me as he scrutinized my face with an almost painful expression. I stood up somewhat shakily, and after a small sigh, Charlie led me outside, Billy on our heels. We walked around to the back of the house, where there was an old, large red truck parked on the lawn.

"Surprise!" Charlie shouted. I didn't really understand, and just stared at him. He fidgeted slightly. "I thought you might like your own way of getting around town, you couldn't have enjoyed being dropped off in my police cruiser every day… I know it's not that fancy, but Jacob just rebuilt the engine so it should run great..." His voice trailed off into a whisper.

It was a moment before I could speak, looking back and forth between him and the truck. "You… Bought me a truck?" I choked out quietly.

He nodded, trying to encourage me with a smile. That sent me over the edge. I couldn't stop my tears from spilling over then, and the fact that I broke my one rule just made me cry that much harder. My breathing came out in loud, shaking sobs, making it extremely hard to breathe. I felt him walk towards me, and when I looked up into his sad eyes, he very slowly placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't flinch away from him this time, instead falling into his chest and holding onto him tightly. He gently wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back, and just let me cry into his shirt. I could faintly hear him muttering calming words like 'It's okay honey,' and 'just let it all out' over my loud sobs. He gently stroked my hair, and waited patiently while I soaked his shirt.

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter Two: A Father's Love

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Two :: A Father's Love**

**Charlie**

I was fidgeting in my chair, watching the clock. _They should be here any minute_, I told myself nervously.

Taking in foster children was a very rare thing in my town. I had always wanted a family, but my life just didn't end up taking me in that direction. I had thought briefly about adopting a baby, but discarded the thought quickly. Maybe if I had been younger, but I was creeping towards fifty now, and knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to take on that sort of responsibility. I had no experience as a father.

I was getting lonely though, and I wanted someone to share my time with outside of work and my few friends on the reservation. I knew that there were so many children out there that came from broken homes, that would need someone to guide them on a calm path back into the world, and I grew confident in the fact that I could be someone to provide that.

It was a very long process, in depth background checks and extensive interviews. Almost a year after I had applied to the foster program, I was contacted by a social worker named Renee Dwyer. A very cheery woman, despite her hard career in working with abused children. I had three interviews with the woman. First, she showed up at my work, the second time surprising me at home. Only the third had been arranged, and had immediately filled me with hope.

"I'm working with a young woman named Isabella right now, she just turned seventeen a couple months ago." She told me hesitantly. She seemed to notice my nervousness. "She actually reminds me of you a little. She's kind of quiet, reserved, and her eyes are eerily similar to your own. Such a lovely, unique shade of brown." I'm a little embarrassed to admit that compliment had made me blush, but she was a very charming woman. "She's extremely mature, far beyond usual for her age. I swear that she was born middle aged." I couldn't help but smile at her obvious affection for the child, but her expression turned sombre again quickly. "She's… been through a lot in her life. I can't actually disclose that information until the process is completed, but if you're willing, I think you would be really good for her. She's a really amazing person, if you can get through her walls. It's going to take some time and effort though."

I didn't know her, but I already wanted to help this girl that I had never met. I had always enjoyed helping other people; it's why I became a police officer. "I'm definitely willing to work hard. I'll do anything I can to help her," I told her, trying to project my sincerity into the words.

She nodded, and gave me a warm smile. "She has a trust fund, her family's estate in her name, but she can't access it until she turns eighteen. She's a year ahead in school too, so this is her senior year. From the research I've done on your high school's curriculum though, I think she'll breeze right through it. The girl's too smart for her own good, though you'd have to be able to get her talking first to really see it," she informed me. It was kind of a relief; I would be completely lost trying to help anyone study high school math.

"She won't need money while she's with me. I'm not rich or anything, but I can provide for her. She'll be comfortable."

Her happiness was contagious while we discussed her coming next Saturday.

Lost in that memory, I didn't hear them walk up the driveway. When I heard the soft knock on my door, I jumped to my feet and ran to answer it. Renee walked inside, and was followed by a small girl. She was very petite, maybe five foot four, with long, brown hair. And her eyes. I almost felt like I was looking into a reflection, seeing that warm chocolate brown, but there was a startling difference. One of her iris' had a streak of vivid honey yellow that immediately caught my eye. She had a pale yet flawless complexion, and currently had one of her full pink lips, the bottom one, trapped in between her teeth nervously. I tried not to stare, not wanting to make her too uncomfortable. Even as Renee put down the suitcase she had been carrying and started to take off her coat, Isabella just stood there, still as a statue and gripping onto her grey suitcase like her life depended on it. After shaking her hand I took it from her, worrying she would lose circulation in her hands. I showed them up to her bedroom, and we left her to settle in while Renee and I went down to my kitchen to fill out paperwork.

I wasn't fully prepared for the conversation that followed after I signed the contracts. "I told you before that Isabella had dealt with some... problems in the past," Renee started, and I could tell that she felt guilty about having to share the child's secrets. I nodded for her to continue, and she proceeded to tell me about Isabella's past. Her mother had died in a car crash when she had been eight; Isabella had been with her, and survived with only a few non-life-threatening injuries. No child is the same after being trapped in a car with their dead mother for an extended period of time though. She told me that her relationship with her father had been strained afterwards. They couldn't find anything out through her counselors, but when she got a bit older she had ended up in the hospital a few times for concussions and broken bones, and her teachers had reported her trying to hide bruises at school. She had an accident when she was at home just before she turned sixteen, falling down the stairs. She had broken an arm, a leg and a few ribs, one of which had hit an artery resulting in some severe internal bleeding. She was admitted to the hospital and went in for an emergency surgery, and that night her father had been found dead on the side of the road between the hospital and their home. Police had deducted that he had been killed by a hit and run driver. Isabella had been in two other foster homes since then, neither of which had lasted long. Renee told me that there had been an incident with one of her caretakers in the last home, a man. The thought that a grown adult could abuse the fragile child that was now sitting in my home made me so enraged that I couldn't think straight for a few minutes. It was kind of overwhelming. I couldn't believe that a child could go through so much in such a short life. I felt Renee's hand rest on my arm, and I realized I had been staring silently at my coffee for a few minutes. I was doubting myself now.

"How can I possibly help someone who had gone through all that?" I meant it as a rhetorical question, but she answered anyways.

"Belle needs a friend. She has a lot of trust issues and insecurities, and she needs someone with her best interests at heart that can teach her to trust again. She needs to learn that there are still good people in this world, and I think you would be good at that Charlie. I would have taken her in myself if I could, but I have three young children already." Her honesty was undoubtable. "She's such an amazing young woman. Like I said, she's incredibly smart. I'm sure she could have gotten her GED a year ago if she had wanted to. She's passionate about reading. She's shy, but strong. If she cares about something, she'll defend it with every ounce of her power. She's extremely loyal, she loves to help people, and there's a fierce strength in her that few people get to see." Her eyes had started to water. She really loved this kid.

I grabbed a box of tissues from the living room quickly and passed them to her. She wiped her face dry and needlessly apologized. "Renee, I will do everything in my power to help Isabella. She will be safe here, and I will do everything I can to make her happy." She smiled, but there was so much sadness and love in her eyes.

We called Isabella back down, and the three of us sat together in the kitchen while I tried to get to know her a bit. Renee sat with us quietly, just acting as a buffer and assisting us on keeping the conversation rolling. I appreciated it; I had never been good at small talk, but I really wanted her to feel comfortable around me. I wanted to know the young woman that Renee so passionately cared about.

It was harder when Renee left, when I saw the raw fear flash momentarily in Isabella's deep eyes. We managed to keep up a conversation while waiting for a pizza. When I admitted to her that I had no experience with this sort of thing, she asked me why I decided to take in a foster child. I didn't like the word, it implied something temporary, and I didn't want her to think of herself that way. She asked about my work, and I told her about her school, and that I hoped to spend the day with her and show her around tomorrow. She was still uneasy, and after a few silent moments, she asked me why. I didn't really understand, was she asking why I wanted to show her around, or spend time with her? I wondered what her last foster homes had been like; Renee hadn't said much beside that there had been an 'incident.' I didn't know exactly that entailed, but it made me feel sick. I would never give this child a cause for fear of anything under my roof.

She went in another direction. "Why did you apply for a foster child? Why did you want me here?"

I tried to give her the best answer I could, I wasn't good at this sort of thing. Billy and I talked about fish and sports, not _feelings_. And that was the way that I liked it. "I never had kids, but that didn't mean that I didn't _want_ kids. I'm getting older now though, and I don't want to settle down to have or adopt a baby. I guess… I was just a bit lonely." I tried to decipher her feelings about that response, but her face remained completely blank. The fact that so few years could harden a child like this broke my heart. "Isabella. I know you've been through a lot of horrible things in your life. I know it will probably take you a while to believe me, but I want you to know that you are safe here. I don't want anything from you, besides maybe a bit of your time. I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do, except go to school. I just want to give you a chance to be happy. I won't send you away or return you like defected merchandise. I won't hurt you. My home is _your_ home now, for as long as you want it to be."

I knew she didn't believe me, but for a fraction of a moment I think I saw that she wanted to. I would have plenty of time to help her.

"I actually like school," she said softly with a partial smile. I was thrown by her joke, but seeing her trying to relax, be friendly, gave me hope. The pizza arrived then. We sat together in the living room and ate dinner together, and it wasn't long afterwards that I caught her in the corner of my eye trying to hide a yawn. After letting her know that she didn't have to stick around in the living room if she didn't want to, she headed upstairs. I heard her get into the shower, and remembered that I forgot to tell her about the reversed pipes. She would probably be a little while.

I went down to my tool box in the basement, and grabbed and extra eye and hook latch. While the water was still running, I screwed it into her door and frame, on the inside of her room, hoping that it would give her some peace of mind. After a quick look at the room as I was leaving, I saw that the only things that she had unpacked were a thick quilt, and an old-looking book.

**. . . . .**

I followed my usual routine the next morning, only sleeping in a little since I wouldn't be going into work. I hopped in the shower, got dressed, and headed down to the kitchen to make some breakfast. The kid didn't look like she was the type with a big appetite, but I cooked a whole pack of bacon, scrambled up a half dozen eggs, and popped a few slices of toast in the toaster. I was hoping that the smell of bacon would draw her down, but she was completely silent in her room. I poured a couple glasses of juice, and then went upstairs to check on her.

She answered her door quickly, fully dressed for the day, and her room looked exactly as it had last night. I decided not to say anything; I would let her settle in at her own pace. I didn't want to rush her. She came down once I offered her breakfast, and seemed genuinely surprised to see that I had made her a plate. She wasn't able to eat half of it, and I hoped that she wasn't forcing herself. After reassuring me that she didn't mind my cooking, she was quiet for a while, looking lost in thought.

"I can cook," she said, startling me.

"What?"

"I know how to cook. I don't mind cooking for you if you want."

That was sweet. Renee told me that she liked to help, but I didn't want her stressing herself out. "You don't have to do that Isabella. I've managed fine on my own for the past forty-eight years, I didn't ask for you because I wanted you to work for me."

"It wouldn't be work, it's something I actually enjoy." I raised an eye brow, finding her sudden determination a little surprising. I don't know what she saw in my reaction, but she looked frightened for a moment before looking away and apologizing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to argue. I just don't want to be a burden. You've done so much for me already."

She thought that was an argument? She definitely wasn't a normal teenager. I didn't know what would be better for her, letting her do something she claimed to enjoy but may be only doing out of guilt, or force her to take it easy and risk upsetting her. I decided to let her decide for herself.

"Isabella, you are by far the most resigned seventeen-year-old I have ever met. I don't think that qualifies as an argument. If you really want to cook, you can cook. But don't think you need to earn your keep or any nonsense like that. You're not a burden." She closed her eyes when she lowered her head, and was trembling slightly, but I forced myself to be patient. A moment later she seemed to calm, and gave me a tentative smile. I tried to give her an encouraging one in return.

When I finished eating, she automatically made to clean my dish. I reached up to stop her, to let her know that it wasn't necessary, but when I touched her arm she flinched away like I had burned her. She apologized quickly in a panicked voice, and I tried to quickly reassure her, pulling away as to not frighten her further. I asked if she was okay, but she didn't speak. She only nodded silently, not looking at me.

After a moment of tense silence, she hesitantly picked up the plate again and I let her wash it, not knowing what else to do. God, I was really blowing this. She was trying to act brave, but I found it obvious that she was terrified. How could she not be, being alone in a house with a man that she barely knew? She caught me watching her when she finished, and looked down at her feet. Maybe I could just try and distract her, keep her mind busy for a little while. "Isabella," I said hesitantly, "Thank you very much for washing the dishes. We can leave in a few minutes for that tour if you want, if you're ready." She nodded quietly again, and I recommended for her to grab her coat. The snow hadn't stuck to the ground yet, but it was December and quite chilly out.

She was silent most of the drive, seeming to concentrate hard on taking in her new surroundings. It wasn't a very big town, so I took my time, driving around slowly, and telling her about the different shops and buildings in the area. When we passed by the hospital, I told her that we had just lost our two newest doctors, Carlisle and his brother in law, when they moved to a new town a little while back. His last name caught her attention, and she told me that a doctor with the same name had performed surgery on her before. It would have been too much of a coincidence for Carlisle to do surgery on her, move here immediately afterwards, and leave again just before she moved here though. I curiously asked what her surgery had been for.

"I fell down some stairs. Ended up breaking a few ribs and they had to stop some internal bleeding." She said it like it was nothing more than a trip to the dentist, shocking me. Renee had told me about her long stay in the hospital about a year ago, but it was completely different hearing it from Isabella herself, downplaying it like a scrape on the knee.

We went out for an early dinner at the Diner after some interesting grocery shopping, and I introduced her to a few friends. She seemed a bit overwhelmed, and I gave her some space when we got home, telling her to get some rest. I could barely hear her while she moved around like a ghost upstairs, only noting the water for the shower running briefly.

**. . . . .**

I got ready as usual in the morning, and for some reason had had the idea that I would have to wake her up and negotiate with her to get her to school. But once I got dressed I smelt something delicious coming from downstairs and went to check it out. She was sliding some fancy omelette onto a plate as I walked into the kitchen; it looked too good to eat. I noted that she didn't sit down.

"Is this for me?" I asked excitedly. She nodded quietly, going back to wash some dishes. I almost dove into my seat. Oh my god was it ever amazing. I didn't think I would be able to bring myself into persuading her not to cook for me after that. By the time I finished eating, the kitchen was spotless and Isabella was patiently waiting for me to drop her off at school. She was an independent kid, not even wanting me to walk her into the office.

Work went by slowly as I spent the day worrying about how she was coping in her new school. The kids around here weren't used to new arrivals, and a pretty girl like her would be batting the boys away with a stick. Oh god, boys, I didn't even think about that. There was a perk to being the Chief of Police in this small town; no one would mess with my daughter. The thought made me stop.

She had barely been with me for two days, and I already considered Isabella like a daughter to me. The overwhelming urge I had to protect her already felt as fierce as if she had been with me all of her life. I wanted her to be happy here. What had Renee said? If I could get through her walls? I believed her now that it wouldn't be easy, but I was going to try. I wanted to know this kid.

I left at two-thirty to pick her up from school. She said her day had gone well, but didn't offer any details besides the people being nice. I felt guilty that I had to leave her alone in the house so soon, but she assured me that she would be fine. When I did finally finish work, I came home to a delicious smelling house. She was in the kitchen, pulling a casserole dish out of the oven filled with baby potatoes and steak. She made some sort of sauce with onions and mushrooms, pouring it on top of the steaks, and put two plates on the set table for me. I was in shock, and my stomach grumbled excitedly. "Wow Isabella, this looks great. You're going to spoil me." I really wanted to tell her that it was too much, and she had worked too hard, but the first genuine smile that I had seen on her stopped me in my tracks. It completely changed her, and I wanted to see it again.

Billy had been looking to sell the old Chevy that Jacob had fixed up; they had three vehicles sitting on his property now and he didn't like it. I wondered if having her own vehicle would make her life here more enjoyable. There was no way I would let her walk all the way home from school, and this would be easier than taking her home and going back to work every afternoon too.

"So Isabella, do you have a driver's license?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. As soon as she said yes, my decision was set. She started cleaning before I could stop her, and when she finished she asked if she could be excused to do her homework. Just baffled, I told her that she didn't have to ask. I settled in to watch some TV. While I was alone, I took the opportunity to call Billy. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey Charlie, have you called to cry?" he asked in a teasing voice. I looked at the score on the TV sadly.

"Oh shut it, you're only five ahead. It's any man's game."

I heard him chuckle. "So, how are things with your new house guest?"

"They're going... okay. It's going to take some time to earn her trust, poor kid's been through a lot. I like her though, her name's Isabella. I don't want her to just be a house guest though. I'm hoping it becomes something permanent."

"Well I'm glad to hear that, am I going to get to meet her soon?"

"That's kinda why I called actually. You still looking to sell that old truck?"

"Yeah, you thinkin' of taking it off my hands?"

"Mhmm. I think it would be a great surprise for her. Can I come by with her on Sunday and get it?"

"Sure! You guys can stop by anytime, and you could introduce her to Jake while you're here."

"That would be great. Thanks Billy."

"No problem. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

I was still a little weirded out by how eerily quiet she was upstairs. If I hadn't heard the water in the shower, I would have guessed that she had snuck out or something. I went and checked on her before heading to bed.

"How's it going?" I asked after walking up to her open door. She was sitting cross legged on her bed, hair wet, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. A bunch of homework was spread out in front of her.

"Good I guess," she answered quietly.

"Okay. Well, er, goodnight." I went to my room, and paused to listen after I closed my door. I could faintly hear her door close, and a small "click" that I discerned to be her lock. If it made her feel safer, I was glad that I put it there.

**. . . . .**

The week seemed to go by pretty well. She didn't talk too much, and continued to tip toe around the house, but I think she was starting to get a little comfortable. I checked in with her teachers, and they said that she was doing really well. "A model student" was the term they used. Apparently she was far ahead in most of her classes, but didn't complain or argue about any of the work. Despite her thorough knowledge though, apparently she was very quiet and never offered to answer any questions aloud. I asked them to be patient with her and just give her some time to get more comfortable. I came home every night to a delicious meal, but was able to convince her not to cook my breakfast too. Her biggest issue still seemed to be personal space, and I went out of my way to not get too close to her. I saw a few times how she would flinch away in fear if I got too close, and figured space and time once again would be the best course to take.

**. . . . .**

Saturday arrived again quickly, and I found it sweet how happy the prospect of seeing Renee again made her. She picked her up to take her out for coffee, and while I sat alone in my livingroom, the house felt extremely empty. They both came back for a quick dinner, and it felt like only moments had passed when Renee was saying goodbye again as I walked her out to her car.

"How are you holding up Charlie?"

"Good, things are good. I worry about her you know, but I think she's warming up to things here."

"Yeah, so do I," she said with a small smile. She could see that there was something else on my mind though. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_. It's just… I'm planning on getting her a truck. I thought she might enjoy it here more if she didn't have to be chauffeured around in my cruiser all the time. Do you think that would be okay?"

"You're going to buy her a _truck_?" She asked, eyes wide in shock.

"Uh, it's not the nicest thing really, an old truck that my friend was looking to get rid of. Nothing fancy. I can't really afford anything more. But it's a reliable, sturdy vehicle. Which I think would be a requirement for her." I couldn't help a small smile. The kid wasn't the most… dexterous person. She seemed barely able to walk in a straight line without hurting herself most of the time. Renee put a soft hand on my face, surprising me. I could see tears in her eyes, but they didn't fall.

"You have a big heart, Charlie Swan. I think I've done my job well, choosing you." She got in her car then, driving off and leaving me wide-eyed in the street. Man, I would have really liked to ask her out. Too bad she was already married.

I made my way back into the house, took off my wet sneakers, and went to find Isabelle in the kitchen. She was banging around with dishes in the sink. "Hey Isabella," I started to say as I walked up to stand beside her, wanting to ask her about coming to meet Billy tomorrow. She mustn't have heard me come in though, as she screamed loudly, dropping whatever she was washing hard and spraying chunks of bubbled foam all over herself and the counter.

Shit, and I had been doing so well the past few days. "Oh, Isabella, I'm so sorry! I should have been louder; I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. Jeeze, are you okay?" I tried reassuring her, but was quickly distracted by the sight of the stream of blood trailing down her arm and dripping into the linoleum floor.

She followed my gaze, and as soon as she saw what had happened I saw her face get impossibly paler. I wanted to support her, but I was afraid to scare her, and I saw a dazed look quickly take over her expression. I was seconds too slow in catching her as her legs seemed to give out and she fell backwards, hitting her head with an audible crack on the counter top. "Isabella? Isabella!" She seemed completely out. Did she faint? Or was she knocked unconscious from hitting her head? Either way, it didn't matter. She was still bleeding heavily from the large gash in her hand, and if she was unconscious I couldn't really scare her. I grabbed a thick, clean hand towel from the kitchen drawer, duct taping it to her hand tightly, and felt as though I was betraying her trust as I picked the tiny girl up, and ran her out to my cruiser.

Sirens blaring, I sped through the small town to the hospital. She still seemed out cold, and I lifted her awkwardly out of the front seat as a nurse came out with a stretcher. I followed her inside quickly, watching the nurse curiously inspect my improvised bandages. "What happened?"

"She was washing the dishes and cut her hand. Then... I think she just passed out or something, but she hit her head really hard on the counter on the way down. She hasn't woken up yet," I said quickly in a panicked voice.

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"I don't know…" I tried to count quickly. "About fifteen minutes maybe?" I drove here as quickly as I could, and it wasn't a very long drive. "Is she okay?" I asked desperately.

"I'm sure she'll be fine Chief. It's probably just a bad bump on the head, and she'll probably need some stitches. What's her blood type?"

"I… I'm not sure."

"Any allergies to medication?"

"I don't know!" I said, feeling some tears escape my eyes.

"Shhh, calm down Chief. It's going to be okay. Just think, do you have someone you can call to find out?"

_Renee._ "Yes!" I pulled out my cell phone. She would still be driving, but hopefully she would pick up. I was panicking again as it rang the fourth time, but gasped in relief when she finally answered.

"Hey Charlie, is everything okay?"

"Thank god Renee! Isabella had an accident. She cut her hand when she was doing the dishes, then she just passed out and when she fell she hit her head and-,"

I heard her tires screech as she must have pulled over to the side of the road. "Calm down Charlie, everything's going to be fine. Did you take her to the hospital?"

"Yeah we're here right now, but I don't know her blood type or allergies or-"

"O positive and she's allergic to penicillin," she told me quickly and calmly. I relayed the information to the nurse who was busy taking her pulse and blood pressure.

"I'm so sorry Renee."

"Hey Charlie, I'm sure this isn't your fault. Isabelle isn't the most... coordinated person out there."

"But it happened because I surprised her, it was an accident, but I still don't get why she would pass out like that." My head was still spinning.

"Yeah, she has this thing about blood. She probably just fainted. Can you pass me over to the nurse please? Tell them that I'm her case worker." I did as she asked, and watched Jackie's face as she talked to Renee. After three minutes she handed it back to me. "Okay Charlie, she's going to be just fine. If you want me to I can come back, but despite the bad circumstances, I think this will be a good bonding exercise for you two. Do you want me to turn around?"

I thought about it for a long moment. Yes, I felt way out of my league, but… I wanted that to change. How could I be a real father to her if I ran to hold someone's hand whenever something new happened? I sighed. "No, it's okay. I think we'll be alright."

"Okay, well as you know from the contract you signed, you'll need to fax me the doctor's report immediately and there will be some paperwork that you'll need to do. I'll call you on Monday, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Renee."

She needed eleven stitches in her hand, but didn't need a transfusion or anything like that. I sat with her the entire time, but she never woke up. Despite the Doctor's assurances, I started to feel more panicked the longer she went without opening her eyes. It was after ten when she finally came around. She felt sick, and when she explained her bad relationship with painkillers I felt immediately guilty. That was something a father should know.

I didn't care for this Doctor Banner, I told myself shortly after. I know he was a little overworked, but his inattentive, almost distracted manner irritated me. After telling me I would need to wake her up and check on her every hour, he strolled out of the room, trying to cover a yawn. Why did Carlisle have to leave just before Isabella came here?

**. . . . .**

I felt like a bit of a zombie the next day. You couldn't really sleep much when you had to wake up someone else almost every hour. I tried not to let her see that though, she was constantly apologizing for things that were completely out of her control already, and I wanted her not to feel obligated to do so anymore. Sunday evening though, around seven, she didn't wake up when I knocked on her door. I knocked a second time, still nothing. Starting to panic, I went into her oddly spotless room, and walked over to the side of her bed, not wanting to get too close. It was then for the first time that I saw her clutching a small silver pocket knife in her bandage-free sleeping hand.

Did she really fear me that much? No, I swear that she had been starting to warm up to me. Should I take it away from her? That might scare her more. Besides, she didn't seem like the type to try and stab someone. I didn't think it would be in her nature to hurt herself either, not if she hadn't already. Her body twitched, and I saw her hand grip even tighter onto the small piece of metal. Her expression looked pained.

"Stay away from me George," she whispered in a quiet voice. I was hit with anger and surprise. First, who was George? Second, she talked in her sleep? "Don't, I'll tell Charlie." She said my name? It seemed like she trusted me to protect her in her subconscious, and that made me happy. I didn't want her to suffer through the rest of whatever dark dream she was having though, so I walked back to the door, and knocked even louder. She woke up this time, and seemed fine, so I let her go back to sleep, wanting to take another fifty-minute nap.

**. . . . .**

She looked much better Tuesday morning, the dark circles under her eyes looking like they were finally starting to fade. She barely shook as I taped a plastic bag over her hand so she wouldn't get the bandage wet in the shower. Once I heard the water start, I called Billy again.

"Hey Charlie, how's Isabella doing?" He asked, picking up after the third ring.

"She seems much better today. I need to take her in for a check-up at the hospital in a bit, but if she's up for it afterwards I wanted to bring her by. Is that okay?"

"Sure sure, I'm not going anywhere. Jake's here too, he's excited to meet her."

I didn't agree with Billy's decision to let Jake take a break from high school at the begging of the year, but it wasn't really my business. "Okay, I'll give you a shout when we get home if she isn't up for it, otherwise I should be there around one. Remember, it's a surprise though."

"Yeah I know I know, see you later."

Her checkup went well. Doctor Banner said that she was in the clear, and I wouldn't have to keep waking her up anymore. Her stitches were doing well, and he told us that we wouldn't have to come in to get them removed; they would dissolve on their own. Weird. He said to come back if she experienced any bad headaches or nausea, and sent us on our way. We walked over to the cruiser, and I worried if it was too soon to introduce her to my best friend. Would this be too weird for her? But I wanted her to feel included in my life, to see how important she was. She was my family now, even if she didn't believe it. We got into my car, and I forced myself to just do it.

"Isabella, I was thinking of going to visit my friend Billy today, and I was hoping that you would come with me to meet him."

Her face was completely neutral. "Sure, let's go," she said, and her voice sounded positive, if only a little strained.

She was very watchful as always while we made the short drive out to the reservation. She followed behind me silently as we walked up to his door. I could hear Billy rolling over to answer it inside. I was pleased with how energetic and friendly he was when he introduced himself. I had warned him that she was really shy; I didn't want him to scare her away. He fulfilled his duty as my best friend and completely embarrassed me, telling her that I hadn't shut up about her in weeks. Was I really that bad? I didn't care; I shouldn't have to hide being happy.

She timidly followed us into the living room, and I couldn't help a small laugh when she half tripped and fell into the seat beside me. Yeah, that solid truck would be good for her; she couldn't hurt it if she tried. Billy told her about himself and his family, and I was pleased to see her seem almost comfortable in the living room with us. There was no sign of Jacob though. Even for a high school dropout, he was a really good kid, and I thought he would be a good friend for her. "Where is Jacob, anyways? I was hoping to introduce him to Isabella today."

He hesitated a moment too long before he answered. "Yeah sorry, he wanted to be here, but something came up and he needed to help his friends with something." Hmm, I was curious about his vague excuse, but decided not to pry.

We talked for a while about the game a couple days ago, but I was too impatient to sit for too long. I wanted to see that smile on Isabella's face again, and Billy saw the change in my mood.

"Well I think we've wasted enough time," he said.

"Yup. Come outside Isabella, I've got a surprise for you," I told her happily. My stomach twisted oddly when I saw her almost-relaxed expression disappear, and fear filled her eyes. What did I say? "What's wrong Isabella? Are you okay?"

She plastered a smile on her face after a moment, but it didn't reach her eyes. "It's nothing, I'm fine," she answered without emotion. I looked over quickly to Billy, not knowing what to do. He was watching her with a sad, concerned expression. I straightened up. I didn't want whatever had scared her to get worse in the strained moment of silence, so I just led the way outside. She followed robotically. I walked up to the truck, and turned to look at her.

"Surprise!" I said happily, watching her face in anticipation. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking nervous and confused. Did she hate it? Maybe she was too afraid to say so, and I felt guilty that I couldn't do any better. "I thought you might like your own way of getting around town, you couldn't have enjoyed being dropped off in my police cruiser every day… I know it's not that fancy, but Jacob rebuilt the engine so it should run great…" I really hoped she would just say something, I couldn't read that still face. She looked from me, to the truck, and back slowly.

"You… bought me a truck?" She said, in her delicate and quiet voice. I nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. I had never seen, or even heard her cry before. Not a single tear. She had more than enough reason to, but it was like she refused to show any sort of weakness. She was a very proud young woman. So when her eyes filled up with water and quickly over flowed, and she hid her face in her hands trying to muffle her painful sobs, I was completely thrown.

I walked over to her slowly, like someone trying to approach a doe without scaring it away. She looked up to me, and those piercing, beautiful brown eyes looked straight into mine. I felt like I got my first real glimpse into her mind, past those walls that she had built so high around herself, and there was just so, so much pain in there. I hesitantly put a hand gently on her shoulder, expecting her to flinch away. She didn't though. She fell into my chest, and held onto me like I was the only thing that could prevent her from drowning in the deep sea of her emotions. I wrapped my arms around her, and held her there tightly.

I knew that this would be our turning point. It was physically painful seeing her suffer like this, but I also knew at the same time that this was something she needed to do. Billy gave me a nod, and went back inside to give us some privacy. After a long while of crying freely into my shirt, she started to tremble, and I led us over to sit on the tailgate of the truck. I didn't relax my hold on her in the slightest.

Eventually her tears slowed, and finally stopped. Her breathing calmed, and her sobs faded into hiccups and sniffles. I relaxed my hold on her when I felt her pull away slightly, but she let me keep an arm around her shoulders. I expected her next words, and had to cut her off.

"I'm so sor-"

"No Isabella," I said as gently as possible, keeping direct eye contact with her. "I will not let you apologize for that. I want to thank you." Her expression turned to one of confusion. "Thank you for letting me stay, for letting me in."

I was afraid that she would start crying again, but was rewarded with a small smile. Not the one of real happiness I had wanted, but I still took it gratefully. We sat together in comfortable silence on the back of the truck for a while.

"Thank you Charlie," she said after about fifteen minutes. She put so much emotion into those three words.

"Don't mention it kid."

Billy came back outside, three water bottles sitting in his lap. Looking relieved, he threw one to each of his. I felt bad for forgetting to warn him; I caught mine easily, but Isabelle's hand was too slow, and it hit her square in the chest.

"Shit! Sorry about that," he said apologetically. She just shook her head and smiled. Billy rolled closer and gently handed her the keys. "Why don't you start her up?"

She hopped down from the truck, and slid into the cabin, putting the keys into the ignition. I smiled when she jumped at the sound of the loud, booming engine.

"You gotta double pump the clutch, but besides that she runs great."

I was watching her, and felt like my heart melted when I saw that rare, happy smile slowly spread on her face. She looked at me, and her cheeks took on a beautiful pink color.

"It's amazing, I love it. Thank you so much Charlie, Billy."

"No problem kid," Billy said happily, seeming just as affected by her happy mood. "There's a Mariner's game on Sunday, you two should come over and watch it with us. Jake should be home, and Harry and Sue will be by with their kids too."

She looked at me shyly, almost hopeful, like she was waiting for my permission. "That sounds great Billy, we'll be there."

I was a little worried to let her drive in her condition, but after seeing her so excited I didn't want to ruin the moment. I drove slowly, checking on her in my rear view mirror every three seconds. The roads were slippery, and I made a note to go pick up some chains for her tires before she went back to school tomorrow.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	3. Chapter Three: Jacob Black

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Three :: Jacob Black**

**Isabella**

I woke up to the sound of a pan hitting the floor downstairs, and after looking at my watch saw that it was almost six thirty. It had been my first solid night's rest in a few days, and I felt great, aside from the burning in my palm and a slight headache, but I'd rather that than the nausea from the bottle of T3s on my dresser. My mind was clear and alert though. I got dressed quickly, not wanting to be late, and dashed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I almost moaned when I caught sight of my hair in the mirror. It looked like a bird had been living in it. I dunked my head under the faucet briefly to wet it, dragged a brush through it angrily, and braided it into a thick rope that hung over my shoulder. Going back into my room, I packed up the homework that I had finished last night, made my bed neatly, and ran downstairs.

Charlie was sitting at the table, his dishes from breakfast already washed, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. He looked up at my entrance, seeming surprised.

"Hey Isabella, I wasn't going to wake you up. I thought you might want another day to rest up."

I felt my cheeks flush, remembering my embarrassing outburst yesterday afternoon. He seemed completely at ease though, and I was relieved that it hadn't seemed to make things awkward between us. If anything I felt more comfortable around him now. I really wanted to go back to school, but I also didn't want to upset him. I fidgeted a little while I considered my words.

"Um, I feel much better. If it's alright with you, could I please go back to school today?"

He smiled gently. "Of course it's okay, if that's what you really want. I just don't want you to over exert yourself."

"I won't, thank you Charlie."

"Nothing to thank me for kid. Just eat something before you go, okay?"

I nodded, grabbed an apple and granola bar, and sat down at the table when he got up to refill his cup. "Would you like some coffee?"

"No thank you." I loved the smell of coffee, but hated the bitter taste. Caffeine made me a little crazy anyways, I didn't even care for pop.

I finished quickly, grabbed the keys for _my new truck_, and headed for the door, Charlie following suite. "Do you remember the way to the school? Think you can get there alright by yourself?" I nodded. He threw on his coat, and held the door open for me, locking it behind us. It had snowed last night, and I walked carefully down the slippery driveway to where my truck was parked on the road. "Have a nice day Isabella, I'll be home around five. Gimme a call at work if you start feeling unwell!" He called as he got into his car. I assured him I would, and he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street.

I hopped up into my truck, jumping again as the load engine roared to life, and blasted the heat for a few minutes before pulling out.

The Chevy handled the slippery roads surprisingly well, Charlie couldn't have gotten me a more perfect vehicle. It had charm and personality, but most importantly, it seemed _strong_. If it were hit, I could see any other car just wrapping around the hard, strong frame, and I needed something that could endure my clumsiness. I still had trouble comprehending Charlie's generosity, and decided that he was just a genuinely nice guy. He was kind, caring, and gentle. He was the father I had wished to have my entire life, and the thought made my chest feel tight, and my throat feel swollen. I was determined to try my hardest to let him in and make this work. As I finished that thought, I pulled into the school parking lot with fifteen minutes to spare.

When I got out of my truck, a silver glimmer caught my eye. I knelt down, and saw that there were chains on my tires that had definitely not been there yesterday. Charlie must have put them on before I even woke up. I felt my eyes start to sting as I smiled.

"Hey Isabella," Mike said from behind me, making me squeak loudly. He laughed. "Nice truck."

It almost sounded sarcastic, but I decided to take it as a compliment. I gave him my biggest smile and said thank you. His face took on an odd, dazed expression. Confused, I grabbed my bag, shut the cabin door and started walking to the main doors. He caught up to me quickly.

"So I heard that you hurt yourself, are you okay? You missed two days, what happened?"

I was determined not to lose my good mood to him, and answered lightly. "Oh, just a small bump on the head. Nothing serious."

"Then why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh, well I needed a couple stitches too, cut myself washing dishes."

He laughed loudly, annoying me slightly. "So I'm guessing that your lack of coordination stretches further than gym class?" Hah, funny.

"I got to get to class, see you later Mike."

"Yup, see you next period!" He called happily. Walking into class, I saw Jessica Stanley shoot me a dirty look from the back row. Ugh, I hated high school drama. At least there were only seven more days of class before the winter break. I dropped into my seat next to Angela, sighing in relief.

"Oh Isabella! I was so worried about you. I heard that you were in the hospital, are you okay?" Man, news traveled fast in this town. I didn't mind the questions as much from Angela though, I knew she wasn't the gossiping type and was just genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I had a bit of a concussion, and just had to take it easy for a couple days. Thanks for asking though." She gave me a warm smile.

I didn't have much trouble keeping up during my classes, and because of my recent concussion and bandaged hand, the coach mercifully excused me from gym class. Charlie had called my teachers for me, and I had done all of my missed work at home. I smiled, realizing it had been the first time that I had used the word in a long time. I couldn't seem to make the expression last though. I was still being nagged by the thought that this was happening too fast, and that if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was.

By lunch though, my hand was starting to throb painfully from trying to hold a pencil properly, and I had a permanent headache from the constant buzz of multiple voices. I sat silently through lunch, not daring to eat, then History and Spanish, trying to make myself invisible and keep my stomach calm. Ben had been sitting next to me during last period, and stopped me after class. "Hey Isabella, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really don't look good. I saw you come in on your big red truck this morning, and I don't think you should be driving home." He was such a nice guy; he's a good match for Angela.

Slightly wobbly, I steadied myself on my desk. "I think you might be right Ben."

"I was going to give Ang a lift home. How about I drop off your truck for you, and she can give you a lift and take me back afterwards?"

"I don't mind at all," she said, coming up behind him. I looked at her curiously, and she held up her cell phone. Ben took her hand absentmindedly.

"Thank you so much guys, you're too nice." They assured me it wasn't a big deal, and I handed Ben my keys. He knew the street, and told us he'd wait for us there. Angela's car was further away in the parking lot.

Sure enough, he beat us to the house. I thanked Angela again, and she gave me a tender smile. Before I walked away, she asked me to get Charlie to give me a lift to school tomorrow, and said that they would drop me off again. I felt so lucky, grateful, to have such kind friends.

After putting away my bag, I slowly walked back down to the kitchen. I would stick with something easy and just make spaghetti for dinner. I took out a couple pots, filled one with water and poured the sauce into the other, covering them both with lids and setting them on the stove for later. Charlie wouldn't be home be home for another two hours, and it would take less than thirty minutes to heat up and cook. Grabbing a cold, damp cloth, I went to lay on the couch in the living room for a few minutes. I closed my eyes, and laid the cold cloth over them. The room felt as though it was spinning slightly, and I concentrated on taking slow, calming breaths.

**. . . . .**

I heard the front door shut quietly, and bolted upright. Pulling the damp facecloth off of my face, I saw Charlie by the front door with an apologetic grin on his face. "Sorry kid, didn't mean to wake you."

I stood up a little too quickly and had a head rush. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, sorry!" I said quickly, and he waved it off. "Dinner won't take long to cook, I'll get it started right now." He followed me into the kitchen.

"You panic too much Isabella, take it easy. You apologize a lot too, we're going to have to work on that," he said with a teasing voice. I felt my face go bright red. He saw me start to apologize, and laughed when I stopped myself. I relaxed slightly at the sound, and turned on the burners on the stove.

"So how was your day?" Charlie asked with a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Fine," I said, and he eyed my one word reply. I reminded myself that I wanted to try harder at this. "My hand got kind of sore trying to write, and I had a bit of a headache. Angela and Ben drove me home at the end of the day."

"Aw Bells, you should have just called and told me that you weren't feeling well." I froze at the sound of the nickname, and he caught onto my reaction quickly. "Sorry, Isabella," he corrected himself shyly.

"No, it's okay. I like it." He gave me a big smile that I couldn't help returning.

**. . . . .**

Charlie did offer me a ride the next morning, and I told him that Angela had already said she'd drive me home. I was relieved at the end of the day, it hadn't been as bad as the day before but I still didn't feel very well. Charlie called and said that he wanted to go out for dinner that night, and I told him I would drive out and meet him at The Diner at six, since he had a bit more work to do.

The truck was really hard on gas. I still had money saved up from my last job at the bookstore in Seattle, but it wouldn't last for too long. So while we were sitting and waiting for our food quietly, I decided that now was as good a time as any to talk to Charlie about it.

"So Charlie, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if I started looking for a part time job?" I made sure to keep my request as politely as possible, keeping my face neutral, and I watched him closely for his response. He watched me thoughtfully before answering carefully.

"Why do you want a part time job?" He asked curiously.

"Well, I have a little money saved from my last part time job," I thought it would be a good idea to let him know that I had experience working before, "but I'd like to be able to pay for my own gas, and earn a little bit of spending money."

"I don't mind giving you some money if you need anything Bells," he said, concerned.

"Thank you, but I would really feel much better about it if I could support myself." I watched him hopefully for a long moment, and he sighed lightly.

"Of course you can, if that's what you really want. But I want you to know that if there's anything you want, you can just ask for it."

"Thanks Charlie," I said with a happy smile. The waitress, Stephanie, brought over our food then. Charlie, not to my surprise, was having steak and a baked potato. I made a mental note to try and squeeze more salads into his diet. Stomach still a little queasy, I picked slowly at my shrimp and spinach salad.

"So, you still up for coming to Billy's on Saturday? It will be a bit of a crowd."

I had really enjoyed meeting Billy, I found his direct attitude and warm personality very enjoyable. "I'd really like that, if you still want me to come," I said shyly.

"Of course I do. We'll probably head out around two, so I was thinking we could go grocery shopping tomorrow night. You'll have plenty of time Sunday to go job hunting if you still want to."

"That sounds great. Do you think I should make a dip or something to bring over?"

"Sure, if you feel like it. I gotta warn you though; those kids eat like a pack of wild animals."

**. . . . .**

The familiar buzz of excitement for the weekend filled the cafeteria at lunch. There was only one week left of class before winter break, and I was deep in thought, thinking about what I should get Charlie for Christmas.

"So what are you up to this weekend?" Mike asked, interrupting my antisocialism.

"Well tomorrow I'm supposed to go with Charlie over to his friend's place. They're watching some sort of sports game. Sunday I need to go job hunting. What about you?" I asked politely. He really was a nice guy, I don't know why I always got so irritated when I talked to him. I kept mentally reminding myself to be polite.

"Oh really? My Mom's looking to hire someone part time at the shop. You should come by on Sunday, I'll recommend you." He winked at me, and I could feel Jessica's gaze burning into the side of my head.

"That would be awesome, thanks Mike. What would be a good time to swing by?"

"It's usually slowest at lunch, around eleven thirty?"

"Noted, I will be there," I said, feeling a little excited. My good mood made the afternoon fly by, and I even found myself answering one of the questions my history teacher asked aloud without even worrying about it.

**. . . . .**

I had let my guard down, and wiped out good on the walkway up to the door when I got home. Soaking wet, and with plenty of time to kill, I decided to throw in a load of laundry. I wanted to make a good impression with Charlie's friends tomorrow, and clean clothes were always a good start. After I got my first load in, I took a couple moments to inspect his small basement. It was just one open room. In one corner there were the laundry machines and a big plastic mud sink. Then there was the furnace and water heater, a large tool bench, a deep freeze and some storage shelves. There was a thin layer of sawdust covering the work bench, and laid out on top of it at the moment were a couple fishing rods, and an old dirty tackle box. There were all sorts of screwdrivers and such hanging on pegs against the wall, many of them looking quite sharp, and I decided it would be best to give it some space. I took a peek into the deep freeze, and saw that it was more than half full of fish. I would have to learn some new recipes.

When I got upstairs I plopped down on my bed. Charlie wouldn't be home for another hour, and I didn't want to start my homework to just have to stop it again soon when we went out grocery shopping. My eyes passed over my empty desk and stopped on my two full suitcases under the window. After debating for two minutes, I walked over and opened them up. I finally put the rest of my clothes in the empty dresser. I alphabetized my few books on the shelf of my desk. I didn't have many, not really having the money to buy them. My library card in Seattle had been my best friend. I put my stuffed panda bear on my bed and my photo album in my night stand. I hung up my extra sweaters in my closet, and stacked my now empty suitcases in there with them. My laundry finished, and I folded and put away the rest of my clothes. They had all comfortably fit in the little dresser.

Feeling accomplished, I grabbed a book, and laid down to read while I waited for Charlie.

**. . . . .**

Saturday morning came with an odd sense of excitement and nervousness. I hopped in the shower in the early morning when Charlie finished and towel dried my hair very carefully, brushing it almost a dozen times trying to make it as straight as possible. I decided that I should finally invest in a blow dryer. Relieved that the fates had decided to grant me a good hair day, I got dressed carefully in a pair of dark blue jeans and a deep violet blouse before heading downstairs.

After having a light breakfast, and regretting brushing my teeth before I ate, I dug through Charlie's cupboards and found a big glass casserole dish. I spread out a layer of soft cream cheese on the bottom, then covered it in salsa, a layer of shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, peppers, onions and topped it with a layer of grated cheddar cheese. Charlie watched the whole process with an intrigued expression.

"What do you call that?"

"Seven-layer dip. With a big bag of tortilla chips, it's the ultimate snack food," I said proudly. My father had me make it all the time when he had people over. I pushed the memories of his whiskey scented breath and clouds of cigar smoke out of my mind. "Do you think I made too much?" I had taken his advice and made enough to feed a dozen people.

"Hah! Not nearly. I doubt it will last minutes; their appetite is a little intimidating actually." Relieved, I wrapped the dish in saran wrap and maneuvered it into the fridge before going upstairs and finishing my homework to kill the next few hours. I was completely lost in the Spanish language when Charlie came and knocked on my door, making me jump.

"You almost ready to go?"

"Yeah," I told him, then quickly put away my homework and joined him by the front door. It was chilly out, and I was thankful that Charlie caught me before I landed on my butt after sliding on a patch of ice. We loaded into his police cruiser, and pulled away from the house.

There was another old van in Billy's driveway already when we pulled up. Charlie noticed my gaze. "Harry must already be here. He's a good friend too, the three of us go fishing a lot together in the summer. His wife is Sue, and they have two kids, Leah and Seth," he provided helpfully. I committed the names to memory as I followed him up to the front door. He didn't knock this time, just opened the door and walked right in. "Hey Billy! We're here," he said, kicking off his boots. Charlie offered to take the casserole dish from me so I could untie my boots. Billy shouted for us to come in over the loud TV, and I could hear two guys arguing over something, I think I heard the word sandwiches, in the kitchen. Billy and another man were sitting in armchairs in the living room.

Harry looked only slightly older than Billy, with the same warm-coloured skin and dark hair, though his was peppered with more grey. He introduced me to his wife Sue, a very warm woman with a gentle smile, and her daughter Leah. She looked like she was a little surly, but offered me a smile in greeting none the less. She gestured for me to come sit beside her, but I was distracted by Billy.

"And this is Seth, and my son Jacob," he said, gesturing to the kitchen doorway. I turned around to greet them.

Seth seemed like a happy kid, he had an easy smile on his face, warm eyes, and seemed to be in the middle of a growth spurt. He was really thin, but still looked like he had a fair amount of muscle on him. The bigger part of my mind was taken over by the sight of Jacob though. Billy had said that he was only a couple months younger than I was, but the boy was _huge_. He looked closer to seven feet than six, with short black hair, warm brown eyes and the same rich coloured skin as his father. He was wearing faded jeans, and a tight black t-shirt that did nothing to hide the thick muscles on his arms or chest. He was a little intimidating.

"Hi, I'm Isabella," I said quietly, holding out my hand and trying to offer my friendliest smile. Seth took it easily enough, but Jacob just stared at me, unmoving. He had the strangest look on his face, eyes extremely wide, reminding me of a deer caught in a headlight. Those eyes seemed to bore into mine like he was looking into my soul, and I fidgeted slightly, dropping my hand back to my side awkwardly. What was wrong with him? Something seemed to shift in his mind, and he dropped the large platter of sandwiches on the floor. I heard Leah curse quietly from behind me.

"Sorry about him Isabella, he's just getting over a bad cold," she said in a strong voice, giving him a hard smack on the back of the head. Was it really a good idea to hit someone who was recovering from a sickness that hard? "Seth, why don't you walk him over to his room?"

"Yeah, okay," Seth said, giving him a look somewhere between pity and amusement. As soon as he tried to move him, it was like something clicked, and I jumped out of the way slightly while Seth practically wrestled him into his room, never breaking eye contact with me. Man, that was weird. I felt the other's watching me, making my face turn bright red, and ducked to help Leah pick the food up off of the floor. Charlie had a concerned expression on his face.

"Sorry about that," Leah said again. I shrugged, telling her not to worry about it, while trying to hide my curiosity. "Kid's a bit of an idiot, doesn't have great social skills either. So, how are you enjoying Forks so far?"

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Leah. Her brash voice and curt personality was kind of endearing for some reason, and I felt myself relaxing and smiling in her company.

A little while later, Seth and Jacob came back out of his room, and he seemed a little better. Seth squeezed in between Billy's and Harry's seats on the floor, and Jacob sat down on the floor against the wall closest to me.

"You feeling alright kid?" Charlie asked when he'd taken his seat, voice concerned.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just had a stomach cramp. I'm great now though." His voice was smooth and strong, and I immediately noted that he had that same apparent air that his father did. There was something powerful and almost mysterious about it. I thought something was wrong with me when I realized how deeply I was analyzing this guy, and tried to concentrate on something else. I swear that I had seen Billy and Harry giving us curious glances.

I could feel him watching me, and cursed Charlie for forcing me to look at him. "You didn't get to say hi to Isabella, introduce yourself kid. No manners..." he grumbled.

"Sorry about that Isabella, I hope I didn't come off too weird. I'm Jacob." He held out his hand, stretching his big arm over Leah's lap, and I finally made eye contact with him again. He had a big, warm smile on his face, and his white teeth contrasted handsomely with his deeply tanned skin. I tentatively took his hand and shook it gently, and was surprised with how warm he was. It felt like he was burning with a high fever, but his face looked completely healthy, glowing even. The way his eyes bore into mine gave me a strange feeling, and I fought the urge to fidget under his gaze.

"Hey." Wow, eloquent.

"It's really nice to meet you Isabella." Another big smile.

"Uh, yeah. You too."

**. . . . .**

_You're being crazy_, I'd been telling myself for the past few minutes. I could swear that I could feel him openly staring at me. I was afraid to check and get caught again, the last time he had given me a direct, engrossing smile. What was _wrong_ with me? No, actually, what was wrong with _him?_ I started to feel extremely self-conscious, but kept my face as neutral and impassive as possible. Did I have something on my face, in my hair? I was sure that I didn't smell bad; I had only taken my shower a few hours ago, and I was partial to my berry-scented body wash and conditioner. Maybe it wasn't just me though, it seemed like Leah wasn't very impressed either. She stood up with a loud sigh, kicked him hard, and walked out of the room.

I jumped when he quickly moved over to open seat beside me. He was so big that he barely fit, and I found myself leaning into Charlie, trying to put some room between us. Charlie didn't seem to mind, but gave Jacob a calculating look before returning his gaze back to the football game. Jacob cleared his throat, and I finally gave in and returned his gaze. It was a mistake; I felt my blank expression crumble as heat rushed to my face. There was no way he didn't see it, but I couldn't bring myself to look away. There was something about the way he looked at me that just pulled me in.

"So, how's the truck treating you?"

It took me a few seconds too long to reply. I had completely forgotten that this was also the guy that had rebuilt my truck's engine. "She runs great. I absolute love it to be honest. I'm sorry to take her away from you."

"Are you kidding? I'm _glad_. That truck was just way too slow for my taste, and it had just been wasting away on our lawn. I finished my Rabbit not long after I got my license, so we rarely used it." He noticed my confused look. "That's uh... a type of car," he explained, giving me another charming smile. I'm not sure if it was just because of my flushed face or not, but it felt like it had gotten warmer in here.

"Oh. Okay." I fidgeted slightly, and decided to have a chip. After I scooped up some dip and popped it into my mouth, I peeked back at him. He looked wide-eyed at the food on the table, like it had just magically appeared and he hadn't eaten in days.

"This dip is great, where did you guys pick it up?" I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, it was in a casserole dish after all. I told him that I made it.

Between Seth and Jacob, the food didn't stand a chance. I watched, a little worried about choking hazards, as the two of them inhaled the table full of snacks. Charlie hadn't been exaggerating in the slightest.

Half time started, and there was a sudden shift in the room. I had been distracted, not really noticing how closely the others had been watching the game, but they were now all turning in their seats and starting to engage each other in conversation.

Leah came back after about fifteen minutes, hair wet from the rain outside, and grabbed the plate with the few sandwiches that were left. She glared darkly at Jacob and her brother when they went to protest, and I couldn't help a small giggle escaping my mouth when I saw their faces blanch. Even though it only lasted a second, the light hearted feeling that came with it was distracting. How long had it been since I just laughed like that? I didn't know. The sound seemed to catch the attention of both Charlie and Jacob; they were both smiling at me happily. I didn't know how I felt about Jacob's, but I knew that I liked making Charlie smile. I don't know if I would ever be able to completely silence the small voice in the back of my mind, the one telling me that getting attached to any of this was a mistake that I would pay for, but I was determined to push past it and keep trying.

"So, how are you enjoying it in Forks so far?" Seth asked me, he had come over to our side of the room and the four of us made our own sort of bubble of conversation.

"I like it. It's a nice change from the city."

"Oh yeah? Where were you living before?" Leah asked curiously. I told them I had come here from Seattle, but before that I had lived in a small town called Newcastle just on the edge of the city, and she had an almost envious look in her eyes. They asked me about my school, they had all attended school on the reservation, and were surprised to find that I was already in my senior year. I didn't like telling people I had skipped a year, and opted for telling them that I had just started early. Leah had already graduated, and was now trying to figure out what she was going to do next. Seth was only fifteen, and was currently in his ninth year.

"What about you Jacob?" It seemed to take him a moment to realize I had asked a question. A slightly uncomfortable look appeared on his face.

"I'm uh… taking a bit of a break from school right now." He was obviously not saying something, but I didn't pry. I was all too familiar with the discomfort of being asked questions I didn't want to answer. He seemed relieved by my easy acceptance of his reply, his usual smile taking its place again on his face again. "But I'm working full time at a small garage right now." That didn't really surprise me. "Hey, would you like to come check out the car I built?" He asked me excitedly.

I tried not to hesitate too long while I chose my careful response. It wasn't a very creative line. He seemed like an okay guy, but I had no desire to go sit in an empty car with him alone. I had no idea who he was, but his strange apparent intrigue with me made me uneasy. I still didn't want to hurt his feelings though.

"Um, that's okay. It's really miserable out." I was thankful at the moment for the thick curtains of snow coming down outside.

"You sure? It's really not that far-"

"Quit it Jake, she doesn't want to see your stupid car," Leah said in an annoyed voice. I caught her give me a secret wink. Yes, I believed we were going to get along just fine. "By the way, you stole my spot. I would like it back."

"Hey, it's my couch-"

"Jacob, manners," Billy chided. He sighed in defeat, and sat down on the floor dramatically. Leah sat down next to me again, and I had much more room.

"Have you seen Kill Bill?" She asked me randomly, once the game had started back up.

"Of course, it was a masterpiece," I said, and she mirrored my smile. "I haven't gotten to see the second one yet though."

"It's playing in the theatre in town. I had been planning to go see it soon. Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"Well, I kind of have a job interview at eleven thirty, but that's it." That caught Charlie's attention.

"You have an interview already? Where?" He asked, surprised.

"At that sports outfitters store owned by the Newtons. Mike got me an interview. Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention it." I should have said something earlier, I hope I hadn't upset him.

"Oh. Well, the Newton's are nice people. I hope it goes well." He turned his attention back to the TV.

"Well, would you like to go see it afterwards? I could meet you in town around two."

"Would that be okay with you Charlie?" I asked him hopefully. I hadn't really hung out with anyone outside of school in a long time, and I couldn't help a flutter of excitement. Things were just so different here.

"Sure, I don't mind," he said absentmindedly. I noticed Jacob staring at Leah expectantly, but she didn't even acknowledge him.

The game ended shortly after, and Charlie wanted to head back before the roads got too bad. I thanked Billy for having me, and as we said goodbye Jacob hovered close by, an almost panicked expression on his face.

"It was really nice to meet you Isabella," he said as Charlie opened the door. He looked like he was about to hug me for a second, and I was relieved when he seemed to catch himself. "We should hang out again soon."

He really was a sweet guy, despite how intense he was. The words came out of my mouth without pre-emptive thought. "Sure, I'd like that." His answering smile made my heart flutter slightly.

**. . . . .**

**Jacob**

I heard Charlie's Police cruiser pull up my gravel drive way, but was distracted by Seth who was hoarding the platter of sandwiches his mother had brought over.

"Just give it here, I'll put it on the table."

"No you won't. You'll eat them all before we even make it out of the kitchen."

The thought had crossed my mind, I was starving. "No I won't. They're even less safe with you." He was distracted by the sound my father introducing Charlie's new foster kid to everyone in the living room. Striking as quickly as a snake, I took advantage of his moment of distraction and expertly swiped the plate away.

"Hey!" He called, but I spun out of the kitchen.

It was like time had ceased to have meaning. My surroundings dissolved into nothingness, and the earth stopped spinning. There was no more gravity holding me to the face of this planet; her eyes were the only thing keeping me from floating away into oblivion. Those big, warm, chocolate-brown eyes. She had thick, dark brown hair that flowed to the middle of her back, and full pale lips. Her skin looked so soft, the color of cream, and she had the most stunning face I had ever seen. She seemed so delicate, so fragile, and the overwhelming urge to protect her was staggering.

This was why I had been born.

"Hi, I'm Isabella," she said quietly, her voice more beautiful than any music I had ever heard. I couldn't find words. She fidgeted, and I realized I had been standing here like a statue, staring at her in wonder. The room came back into focus, and realizing what had just happened, I lost my grip on whatever I had been holding. Thankfully, Leah covered for me.

"Sorry about him Isabella, he's just getting over a bad cold." She smacked me in the back of the head, telling me to get a hold of myself. I barely felt it. "Seth, why don't you walk him over to his room?"

He went to move me, and my mind seemed to clear at his touch. _No, I couldn't leave her, I had just found her_! I went to fight him off, but I came so close to knocking into her, she barely jumped out of the way in time. Emily's face flashed in my mind, and I froze again. I stopped resisting and let him drag me to my room.

"God Jacob, you almost broke my nose," he said, slightly annoyed. I ignored him, even if I had broken his nose, it probably would have already healed.

"It's _Her_ Seth," I whispered, sitting down on my bed.

"Yeah yeah, I got that," he said dryly.

I had seen it happen before, in Sam's memories. The life-consuming, world-altering realization. But it didn't hold a candle to what it was like experiencing it for myself. Seth sat down beside me, and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You okay Jake?"

Of course I was, I was amazing, I had never felt so happy in my entire life. She was just past that door, sitting down in my living room. I needed to see her. I needed to… what? She had never met me before, she had no idea who I was, or _what_ I was. I was a complete nobody to her, and she was my entire life. "What do I do Seth?"

"I don't know, talk to her I guess?" I looked over at him, and he had a teasing smile on his face. I punched him in the arm, making him laugh.

"I need to tell her. I have to explain. _I have to tell her everything Seth_. I don't think I even have a choice."

He studied me for a moment, contemplating his words. "Of course you do. You're our leader Jake, and we trust you completely. But maybe… you should try to wait. Think about it, you'll scare her off, and she'll think you're nuts. Any sane person would. Just go out there, talk to her, and try to get to know her like a normal person."

He made complete sense, of course. I was just having troubling thinking straight. "What if... she doesn't like me?"

He clapped me on the back. "Don't worry. You remember how Emily was, she couldn't bring herself to stay away from him, and she was so pissed at him too. Besides, you're not _that_ bad." I rolled my eyes.

"Jeeze, thanks for the amazing compliment bro."

I couldn't wait any longer, and we went back out to join the others in the living room. Isabella was sitting on my couch between Charlie and Leah, who she was talking to. I leaned against the wall closest to her, and slid down to sit on the floor.

"You feeling alright kid?" Charlie inquired. Yeah, I definitely hadn't been very smooth earlier.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just got a stomach cramp. I'm great now though." I wasn't really looking at him while I spoke. I was watching her, trying to figure out what to say. She didn't seem to notice me, or maybe she was trying to ignore me. Had I made her uncomfortable earlier? What was she thinking? Her face looked completely neutral as she watched the TV.

"You didn't get to say hi to Isabella, introduce yourself kid. No manners..." he grumbled. _Thank-you Charlie._

"Sorry about that Isabella, I hope I didn't come off too weird. I'm Jacob." I leaned over Leah to stretch out my hand, and she finally looked at me. I would be completely content to spend the rest of my life just staring into those eyes. She took my hand, though a little hesitantly. Her hand was so soft and small, I might have held onto it for slightly too long.

"Hey." I waited for her to say more, but she remained silent.

"It's really nice to meet you Isabella." The words didn't do my emotions justice.

"Uh, yeah. You too."

She was very quiet. She seemed like a shy person, but there was a quiet strength in her that I saw in the way she held her head, and I found it intriguing. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Somehow I managed to piss off Leah, not that that was hard. She stood up with a long sigh, kicked me, and headed outside. Even over the crunch of snow under her feet, I could hear her dialing her phone. I didn't hesitate in stealing her spot, and felt myself start to relax while being closer to her. I cleared my throat, and was rewarded by her acknowledging me. The blank expression she had worn faltered slightly, I heard heart rate increase a little, and her face turned a lovely shade of pink. She smelt like strawberries.

"So, how's the truck treating you?" She took a minute before replying, but thankfully didn't look away.

"She runs great. I absolute love it to be honest, I'm sorry to take her away from you." I was surprised to see her look completely honest about that, baffling me. The thing could barely push over fifty.

"Are you kidding? I'm _glad_. That truck was just way too slow for my taste, and it had just been wasting away on our lawn. I finished my Rabbit not long after I got my license, so we rarely used it." It had taken a lot of arguing with Billy, but he eventually caved. He couldn't argue about the gas mileage difference either. Her eyebrow lifted gracefully at the mention of the Rabbit. "That's uh... a type of car," I explained. Yeah, she didn't really seem like the car type.

"Oh, okay." She seemed a little embarrassed, and unfortunately was the one to break eye contact. I followed her movement as she leaned over and grabbed a chip off of the coffee table. I saw then the half-eaten platter of sandwiches, a big bowl of chips, and a large casserole dish filled with some fancy dip that was currently being attacked by the entire room. I shot a look at Seth who had a stack of sandwiches sitting on a napkin that he was balancing on his knee, and my stomach gave an almost angry twitch. I grabbed a stack of my own, trying to get as many as I could before Leah came back. It sounded like she was talking Embry, and I smiled. I took a handful of chips, and tried the weird-looking dip. It was pretty awesome, and kind of reminded me of a taco salad.

"This dip is great, where did you guys pick it up?" I asked, hoping she would look at me. She didn't unfortunately, and I wondered if she was purposely trying not to look at me. I did want to know where she got it though, I would go out of my way to pick one up. Really fancy container though.

"Oh, I made that," she told me nonchalantly.

She could _cook_.

Leah came back in at half time and sat where I had been sitting. Dad, Charlie and Harry started a heated discussion, and Seth came and sat with us. I tried to grab one last sandwich as Leah took the plate, but she shot me a glare so dark that I shied away. Isabella seemed to find that funny, and a small laugh escaped her lips. It didn't last nearly long enough, and seemed to make her very thoughtful.

"So, how are you enjoying it in Forks so far?" Seth asked her, stealing the question from me.

"I like it. It's a nice change from the city." I knew the appeal. I don't think I would ever want a city over my land here. I would miss it too much, the ocean, the deep forests, the feel of running as freely as I wanted. Enjoying the feel of dead leaves and sticks snapping under my large paws…

"What was your school like in Seattle?" Leah asked her. She, on the other hand, had always wanted to move to the city. She didn't want to leave yet though, and I knew it was more because of her love for our land that stopped her than her problem controlling her temper.

"It was good. It was much bigger, so there was a much wider course selection. I'm in senior year, so it kind of looks like my last semester is just going to be a lot of repetition." She seemed genuinely sad over the statement, so would that imply that she actually enjoyed that aspect of school?

"You're in your senior year? I thought Billy had said that you were only a couple months older than me." Maybe he had heard wrong. Even if that was the case though, I knew I must look even older. I had finally seemed to stop growing when the leeches left, and had grown even taller than Sam after I accepted his title as Alpha, my blood right. I was at least a foot taller than the small woman sitting beside me though. She would fit so easily in my arms…

"Yeah, I just turned seventeen in September. I started school a year early though. What about you Jacob?" I felt a small thrill in hearing her say my name. Like Seth had said though, it wouldn't be a good idea to rush into that. I didn't want to scare her away, and it's not like I could talk about it in front of Charlie.

"I'm uh… taking a bit of a break from school right now." Worrying about what her follow up question would be, I was surprised when she just nodded. I didn't want to stop talking to her though. I would never want to. "But I'm working full time at a small garage right now." I wanted her to see that my skills were greater than what the final product of her truck had been. "Hey, would you like to come check out the car I built?"

"Um, that's okay. It's really miserable out."

I looked out the window, and sure enough the snow was coming down in buckets. It was only a quick dash out the back door to my garage, and I wouldn't mind carrying her over there in the slightest. "You sure? It's really not that far-"

"Quit it Jake, she doesn't want to see your stupid car," Leah said in an annoyed voice. I looked at her curiously. Shit, I had probably sounded kind a pushy. Thanks Leah. "By the way, you stole my spot. I would like it back."

"Hey, it's my couch-"

"Jacob, manners," my Dad nagged me. I sighed, and reluctantly gave over my seat.

Leah started up a conversation with her easily, and it made me curious. She wasn't the type to put in much effort in making friends. She even asked her to hang out the next day, completely shocking me.

"Well, I kind of have a job interview at eleven thirty, but that's it."

"You have an interview already? Where?" Charlie asked, surprised.

"At that sports outfitters store owned by the Newtons. Mike got me an interview. Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention it." Mike? Who was Mike? I told myself to calm down. Of course she had other friends, I shouldn't act like a possessive jerk. The thought of another guy's arm around her made me extremely sad though.

"Well, would you like to go see it afterwards? I could meet you in town around two," Leah asked her.

She asked Charlie for permission, and something about her attitude that I had been looking ever since she entered my house clicked. For some reason, she seemed afraid. I could somehow now see the effort she was putting into keeping a strong, blank mask. Charlie was a great guy, I had known him my entire life and knew that he would never give her a reason to be afraid like this.

But she hadn't been with Charlie long, maybe two weeks now? She was a foster child, and it was obvious that she had a history. The vastness of seventeen years spread before me. What had she gone through in all that time? Did her fear stretch over onto me? I knew the answer was yes, I had seen it.

Charlie obviously didn't mind, and I saw a flash of happiness in both her and Leah. I got the impression that this might be as new for Isabella as it was for her.

Too soon, the game ended. Charlie was getting up to leave, and I was filled with a feeling of panic. When would I be able to see her again? I needed to ask. I had asked out girls before, why was this so hard?

_Because this was completely different_, my mind answered simply.

"It was really nice to meet you Isabella. We should hang out again soon." Oh, wow. That was moving. I mentally slapped myself.

She regarded me for one short moment. Couldn't she feel this connection? This force that was pulling us together? She _had_ to. "Sure, I'd like that." My face broke out into a full, unrestrained smile, and I was elated hearing her heart flutter slightly. I watched them walk out to their car, and as soon as they pulled out of the driveway I started shaking.

"Hey Jake? Maybe you should go outside for a bit." Seth said in a worried tone.

"Yes Jacob, go out and cool off for a bit son." That was my Dad. My head was starting to buzz and I ran down the steps, barely making it to the lawn before I phased.

_Hey Jake, Embry called me. I was waiting for you, how you holding up?_ Sam's voice floated into my mind, and I was aware of Quil in there too, trying to be silent. My mind felt so much clearer in this form sometimes.

_How did you know I would phase?_ He had been close by, and it only took me a moment to meet him by the river in the woods east of my house.

He played through the memory of when he imprinted on Emily. The almost dazed feeling of being in her presence, and the feelings that overwhelmed him when he had to leave her that first time. _I know Jake. It's going to be okay._

_You always seem to be there for me in moments like this Sam, thanks. _The memory of my first shift came to the front of my mind. Sam had been there that time also, calming and reassuring me and helping me cope with The Change.

_No problem brother. Do you want to talk about it?_

I did. Sometimes it was annoying having the shared mind of the pack, but besides helping us hunt, it made us all extremely close. I trusted all of my brothers, and my sister, with my life and every secret in it. Sam patiently listened to me recount the longest, yet seemingly fastest football game of my life, and work through my emotions. I was overwhelmed, and felt like my life had completely changed in every aspect. I was afraid. Afraid of how she felt, if she would reject me, afraid I might hurt her, or scare her. What was I supposed to do next, and what would I do if she didn't want to be in my life, or didn't even want to be my friend?

Sam helped by showing me the feeling of time already passed. How he had felt just like me in the beginning, and the feeling of their bond slowly becoming stronger over time. Under laying it all was the pain of hurting Leah in the process that he couldn't hide. He loved her, and would never be able to forgive himself for the pain he caused her, the pain we all knew she still felt. But there was no way to fight the strength of an imprint.

Time was the key, and I had an abundance of that. My Dad and I visited Charlie often, and the fact that that wouldn't change gave me more confidence. I would see her again soon, and I would get her to spend time with me somehow. I would work to become her friend, and that's all that really mattered. I just wanted her in my life, and I would be for her whatever she needed me to be. I didn't need any more than that, and finally reaching the conclusion I had been working towards relaxed me.

_Thank you Sam._ _It's true what they say about two heads_. I heard him chuckle in my mind. Finally, my world seemed to settle around me, and I became more aware of my other responsibilities. Quil and Paul had been silently waiting in the background, currently doing their patrols. _Anything interesting today guys?_

_Nope, things have been really quiet. Embry scared a bear away from the edge of town this morning though. _

Things had been quiet since the Cullens had left. It was peaceful. We didn't really like them, but after Doctor Masen had saved Harry after his heart attack, it'd been hard to hold real hate towards them. They'd been here for about four years, even though the older two men had been working in Seattle for most of the time, but their proximity to the reservation had activated the change in our people again. It's was a bit of a relief when they left, the pack was getting large.

_So, that's two of us now. Maybe it isn't as rare as they say in the legends._

_Maybe. We've also never had a pack as big as seven though._

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter Four: Comfortable

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Four :: Comfortable**

**Isabella**

I pulled into the parking lot of Newton's Olympic Outfitters barely after eleven. I was afraid that I would somehow get lost on the way, but I had made it here in less than ten minutes. I tried, and failed, to distract myself with my Spanish textbook, and resigned to just watching the arm on my watch tick by. Eleven twenty approached slowly, and I decided it would look better to be early anyways.

The main counter was right next to the entrance. It looked like Mike had been sorting through a large pile of pamphlets, and he noticed me as soon as I came in.

"Hey Isabella! I'm glad you came," he said, walking around the counter and coming up to me.

"Thanks again Mike, I really appreciate your help."

"My pleasure. Mom's in the back, I'll go grab her and be right back. Just wait here." I nodded and watched as he jogged to the back of the store. It was a nice place; very clean, and a really big inventory. Like Mike had predicted, it seemed really quiet at the moment. There was only one pair of shoppers that I could see, looking at some winter hiking boots.

Mike came around the corner with the woman I had seen him with once before at the grocery store. I made myself stand straighter when I saw them, and she smiled. "Hi, you must be Isabella. Mike's told me a lot about you."

"Hi Mrs. Newton. It's really nice to meet you, and thanks for meeting with me today." I held out my hand and gave her a firm handshake.

"Oh it's my pleasure. It's always nice to have a new face in town." She turned to look at her son, who was hovering by my side. "Don't you have pamphlets to sort?"

"Well yeah, but I just thought I'd help-"

"I am quite capable of interviewing my own employees Michael. I'm going to take Isabella to the back; you keep an eye on the counter." He sulked back to his station after mumbling a "Yes Mom," and Mrs. Newton led me to the back office. She sat down behind a neat desk, and gestured for me to take a seat in the chair across from her. She took out a blank piece of paper and a pen.

"So Isabella, do you have any working experience?"

"Before I came here, I had been working at a bookstore in Seattle for a few months, but had to resign when I moved. I used to do some volunteer work at an animal shelter too before that."

"Oh that's sweet. Do you like animals?"

"I love them," I told her sincerely. I had always found them easier to connect with than other people, but I didn't say that aloud.

"Me too. We have two dogs at home; Bonnie and Clyde. They're German Shepherds."

"I'm jealous, those are my favourite breed. They're so smart, and beautiful," I said dreamily. I had always wanted a dog.

"I agree. How old are you Isabella?"

"I turned seventeen in September."

"Seventeen? I thought Mike said you were in senior year with him?"

"I am. I skipped the seventh grade."

"Oh, wow. That's pretty impressive. What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Reading is my favourite hobby. I'm never bored if I have a book nearby. I like cooking too."

"Any sports?"

"No, not really," I admitted sadly. That was probably an important thing for an employee at a sporting goods store.

"That's okay dear. Right now I'm looking for someone part time. About eighteen hours a week, working Tuesdays and Thursdays from four until nine, and Saturdays from one to nine and the pay is minimum wage." She looked at me expectantly, then smiled slightly. "Does that work for you?"

Did it work for me? Did that mean I had the job? "Oh, yes. Of course. That would be great."

"Excellent. So, the job starts Tuesday. Is that too soon?"

"No, not at all," I answered happily.

"Alright, good to hear. If you have some free time now, I can take an hour to show you around the store and explain the job." I told her that I would love to, and she had me fill out some paperwork first. It took about twenty minutes, and then she led me back to the storefront. She walked me around and showed me the merchandise that they sold here, and how the different sections were organized. I would mostly be working cash and mopping floors, and I had no problem with that. As we were walking through the fishing section, she noticed something take my interest.

"It's a really good model. Very durable, water proof, and easy to clean and keep organized. Christmas present for someone?"

"Yeah. Charlie's tackle box is ancient, and not in the best of shape. I think this would be perfect for him."

"You're cutting it a bit close for shopping deadlines. Bring it on up to the cash, Mike can check it out for you. Employees have a five percent discount too."

Her words surprised me. "No, I couldn't, I haven't even started working yet."

"Nonsense, you're working right now," she told me with a smile. Her tone left no room for argument. She walked me over to the counter, telling Mike about the discount, and said goodbye, assuring me she would see me again on Tuesday.

"So, I take it that it went well?" He said with a smirk.

"Yeah. Your mom's a pretty awesome person. Thanks again Mike, I don't know how to repay you."

"Don't worry about it, you don't need to do anything. Just remember for the next time I have a problem in English class."

I smiled. "Of course, no problem." He wrapped up my tackle box, and waved as I headed back out to my truck.

I had an hour before I was supposed to meet Leah, so I went home quickly to tell Charlie the good news and hide his present in my room. He seemed genuinely happy for me, and I was glad that he seemed to approve. I grabbed a warmer scarf, and then headed off to meet Leah at the theater.

**. . . . .**

I was starting to get a little anxious, she was five minutes late. Maybe she had changed her mind. It's not like I had a phone for her to call if something had come up. I hope she wasn't hurt, the roads were pretty icy. Maybe I should just head home, how long should I wait for?

"Isabella!" I turned around at the sound of my name, and Leah was jogging over to me quickly. I smiled in relief. "Sorry about that, the roads were really bad coming out of the reservation. I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Don't worry about it, I just got here too," I lied, not wanting to upset her. Bundled up in my scarf and heavy winter coat, I couldn't help but notice that she seemed dressed really lightly. She was wearing a t-shirt under an open denim jacket. "Aren't you cold?"

"Nope. You look like you're freezing though, let's head inside."

I followed her in, and we got in line to buy our tickets and some snacks. She got a big bag of popcorn and a pop, and I stuck with a bottle of water and a bag of chocolate covered almonds. The theater was packed, and we rushed to find a good seat. Following behind her, I felt slightly sorry for the couple that we came up to. They had thrown their bags and coats over a couple of seats, and after one dark glare from Leah they hastily grabbed their things and moved over. She dropped into her seat happily, seeming completely at ease. I decided to say nothing, almost fighting a small smile.

**. . . . .**

We sat through the movie quietly, but it was very comfortable. I was relieved that she wasn't the type to talk through a movie; it had always been a personal vexation of mine. "Thanks again for getting me to come out Leah, that was fun."

"Yeah, no problem. Do you feel like stopping for a hot chocolate or something?"

She had me at the word chocolate, and I was happy that she still wanted to hang out. I was a little worried that I might be boring her, but she seemed completely at ease with my quiet attitude. "Sure, that sounds great. Where did you park?"

"Oh, my cousin dropped me off. I was just going to call her for a lift back later."

"No problem, I'm parked right down the street. I can give you a lift home."

"Cool, thanks."

Like everything else, The Diner wasn't very far away. We settled into a booth and had each received our hot chocolates in a few minutes. It was quiet for a moment, and I couldn't help but speak my mind with her. "Leah, why did you want to hang out with me?"

She didn't look overly surprised by my question, but a little uncomfortable. She thought over her answer for a few moments before speaking. "I don't know… I don't really get along with many people. I guessed I've kind of felt like a bit of an outcast for a while, but when I saw you… I just got the feeling that you were kind of the same. Sorry if that sounds rude or whatever."

"No, it doesn't. You're right." That seemed to relieve her. "I'm not really used to this, just hanging out with another girl."

After we finished our drinks, we hopped back in my truck and I gave her a lift back to the reservation. She didn't live very far away from Billy, and I was almost confident that I wouldn't get lost on my way home.

"This was… nice. We should hang out again sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that," I told her honestly. I gave her Charlie's house number, said good-bye, and headed back home. For some reason, while driving back through the reservation, I had the odd feeling that I was being watched.

**. . . . .**

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called when I walked in the door. I took off my coat and untied my boots before finding him in the living room. "There's pizza in the kitchen if you're hungry." I went to apologize for not being home to cook dinner, but he cut me off knowingly. "Nope don't even start. You work hard enough as it is, you shouldn't feel obligated to cook for me every night."

I grabbed a slice and a glass of water from the kitchen before joining him in the living room. "So how was the movie?"

"It was great," I told him, before taking a bite out of my pizza.

"That's nice. It's good to see you hanging out with kids your age." I nodded, agreeing with him happily. George had never let me hang out with kids after school, and I definitely wasn't allowed to have people over to visit. When I went back to the home, I didn't really see the point in trying. Charlie was nothing like that, and he honestly seemed happy to see me going out and doing things on my own. This new fact made me excited, and nervous.

"Yeah, it was nice. I hope you don't mind, but I gave Leah the house number in case she wanted to hang out again."

"Of course I don't mind, that phone is yours too, you can give the number to whomever you'd like." Something strange passed through his mind, and I knowingly waited for him to speak. He wasn't good at hiding his thoughts or keeping secrets, even though he seemed like the type to be completely uncomfortable to talk about personal subjects. "So, did Jake go to the movies with you guys?"

The sound of his name surprised me, and those deep brown eyes flashed in my memory. I had been a bit relieved that Leah hadn't even mentioned him while we were out. "No, it was just Leah and me. Why would Jacob have been there?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Sorry to break it to you Bells, but the boy was obviously smitten by you."

I choked slightly on my bite of pizza, coughing hard while I felt my face turn bright red. It was kind of nice knowing that the feeling that he had been openly staring at me wasn't just in my mind, but Charlie's seemingly-easy deciphering of him set me on edge. This was very much foreign territory for me, and he seemed to see my uneasiness.

"Oh, don't worry about Jake. He's harmless. A really great kid actually. His Mom passed away when he was a kid, and he grew up helping Billy once he ended up in the wheelchair. He might not be the most… subtle person, but you got nothing to worry about." I had noticed that Billy hadn't had a wife, but obviously didn't say anything out of fear of being rude. I stored away this little detail, Jacob's responsibility and kindness, and put it into a small box of information to sort later in my mind. "If you have any problems though, just let me know. Teenage boys tend to back off when they see my gun." He offered me a goofy grin, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy," I offered, trying not to give my usual one word answers.

"Yeah. I've known the kid his whole life, watched him grow up. The two of them come over pretty often to watch games, and join me for a lot of holidays. Just a heads up."

I was intrigued by the slight fluttering in my stomach. Was it fear, anticipation, or maybe excitement? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I changed the subject, telling Charlie what my hours would be like at my new job, and that I wouldn't be able to make dinner those nights. He didn't mind, and after assuring him that the hours wouldn't interfere with my school work, I washed my plate and headed up to my room.

**. . . . .**

After my shower, I walked back into my room and plopped down on my bed. Inspecting the newness of having my few meager possessions displayed to the world, I was oddly soothed. I flicked off my light, crawling into bed without even locking my door.

**. . . . .**

Seven thirty rolled around, and the store had finally quieted down. It had been very fast-paced, groups of people coming in, hoping to finish their Christmas shopping. Luckily I took to the cash register with ease, and didn't seem to upset many people with my learning status. Now the store was all but empty, and I leaned over the counter correcting Mike's English homework for him while he took over mopping for me. I felt kind of bad at first, but would have felt worse if I let him turn this in. The boy did not seem to have any attention for grammar, and the essay was riddled with spelling mistakes. Mrs. Newton came in, and smiled gently towards me.

"I didn't think I would be hiring a tutor for my son at the same time, it's a bit of a relief," she told me quietly. I smiled.

"I love this sort of thing. I've been thinking about going to college as an English major for a while, I think I'd really like to teach."

"Well that is something refreshing to hear from a teenager. I won't stand in your way as long as your work gets done. It would actually be a good idea to leave a book around here for those quiet periods." I was relieved that she didn't see me as shrugging off my duties.

I had finished Mike's paper, now covered in red pen marks, and left it on the front counter for him to rewrite before I took the mop from him.

"It's okay, I got it," he said chivalrously.

"No, you really need to rewrite your paper, it's due tomorrow Mike." I didn't understand how he could physically wait out until the last moment like that, the concept terrified me. He sighed in defeat, and handed over the mop. It's was only eight thirty when I finished, but Mrs. Newton was worried about the now heavily-accumulating snow, and told me I should probably head home before it got worse. Moved by her concern, I said good night and headed back to Charlie's.

He was in the driveway when I pulled up, pulling a large cardboard box out of his trunk. I ran over to see if he needed help, and landed face first in the snow a few feet shy of him. Dropping the box, he gave me a steadying hand to my feet.

"Man, we should get you some walking spikes for your boots or something. You okay?" I shied away from the idea of pointed metal objects on my feet, I would probably end up stabbing myself and losing a toe.

"Yeah, I'm good. What's in the box?" He was carrying it once again, and I closed his trunk for him then went to open the front door.

"The most delicious smoked turkey you will ever eat," he said in a teasing, yes almost dazed voice. He caught my curious expression and explained. "I hope you don't mind, but Billy and Jacob are going to be joining us for Christmas dinner. Ever since his daughters moved away it's been sort of a tradition of ours." My stomach fluttered slightly when he said us, including me in his Christmas plans. I felt a small smile in my lips.

"Cool, what can I do to help?" He regarded me for a moment, debating his words. I could see that he didn't want me to go out of my way, but this was the sort of thing I was made for. I tried to encourage him. "I don't mean to sound conceited, but I make some pretty mean mashed potatoes," I told him with a grin. His eyes crinkled with his smile.

"Sure, if you feel up to it. We can take a run to the grocery store after I'm done work tomorrow if you want, the stores will be closed on Saturday for Christmas Eve."

"Sure, sounds great."

There was a tangible feel in the air at school the next day, the excitement of winter break buzzing in the air. The last three weeks had gone by much better than I could have hoped for. I had finished and handed in my essays with ease, and was confident that during the next semester I would even be caught up with the others in my Spanish and History. The packages that my teachers had put together for me for the winter holidays gave me a hopeful feeling, I would be on par with everyone else in my grade in the new year. _For my last Semester of High School_. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I sat thumbing through the papers during lunch.

"I can't believe that they gave you that much work for vacation. It's… It's inhumane!" Mike said with complete disgust.

"I really don't mind it. It will be nice not to be behind everyone else in class anymore."

"What? Come on. You're like the smartest kid in school Isabella."

The compliment made my cheeks flush, a sight that was just becoming too common on me in this town now. "Not in Spanish," I said quietly, making him laugh. I had actually found my History textbook to be an interesting read, and was almost finished it now, but it wasn't as easy to just learn a new language.

"So do you have any other plans for Christmas break?" Angela asked me, thankfully changing the subject.

"Not really. I'm having Christmas dinner with Charlie and one of his friends, but besides that it will just be work and studying." I was used to the dark stares that Jessica would gave me whenever my new job was mentioned. She stopped sitting at our table on Tuesday. Thankfully Angela didn't abandon me though; I learned that she wasn't really friends with Mike and Tyler before, but I was glad that she stuck around anyways. She was the only person I actually felt comfortable with talking to at this school.

"We should get together and hang out sometime, if you get bored," she told me shyly. I let her know that I would really enjoy that, and gave her the house number so that she could call. _Look at me, I have _two_ girlfriends_, I told myself in disbelief.

**. . . . .**

I had fun shopping with Charlie when he got off work. I offered to cook the meal for him, the hardest part was already done anyways, the turkey would just have to be carved and heated, and he gracefully accepted. Apparently, they would just usually get their turkey, and bake some potatoes wrapped in tinfoil in the oven. I was baffled, and led the way to pick up all the ingredients that I would need to make mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. I picked up some string beans and carrots too, knowing that Charlie really needed to be eating more vegetables. Onions on his pizza didn't count. I also picked up some stuff to make a big plate of brownies for desert.

**. . . . .**

Saturday was very peaceful. The store hours were altered because it was Christmas Eve, and I got back home before five. I came home to Charlie decorating a small tree, it looked almost four feet tall, and I think he had cut it down from behind his house. It was really nice; anything bigger would have just looked cluttered in the room. I made us a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches as he decorated it with a large bag of tiny red and silver bulbs. After we ate, I had a shower before putting on my sweats, and sat with Charlie in the living room while I conjugated verbs in Spanish.

The odd feeling of something akin to déjà vu filled my mind, like I had lived this moment before.

**. . . . .**

It was early in the morning, close to five, and there were fluffy, magical snowflakes slowly falling from the sky. It made my street look like something in a dream.

_It's Christmas_, a small voice in my head whispered. I knew my father hadn't gotten a tree, and I didn't expect any presents, but there was a small hopeful and curious part of me that felt like there just might be something different downstairs today. I wrapped my housecoat tightly around myself before sneaking downstairs as quietly as possible.

When I peeked around the corner, reality greeted me with a dark, completely indifferent living room. The sadness sat heavily in my stomach. Mom had loved Christmas, it was always her favourite time of year. Her absence was more real than ever this morning, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"What's wrong with you?" A dark voice croaked from the corner, making me squeak. He was hidden in shadows, but I could almost make out his form when I squinted into his direction. I could smell something bitter in the air mixed with the smell of tobacco smoke. He laughed darkly, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to make myself smaller. "Let me guess, you came to see if _Santa Clause_ left you any presents?" He coughed loudly, almost a hacking sound, and I could make out the motion of him shaking his head in the dark. I leaned into the wall.

"Stupid girl. He doesn't exist. There are no fairy talks in this world. Get out of here."

I awoke slowly, my eyes remaining dry. I refused to give tears to his memory.

That had been eight years ago, but there was one thing that hadn't changed since that day. Christmas, more than any other thing in the world, made me miss my Mom. I tried to remember her voice, waking up to the sound of her singing Christmas carols loudly and off key. I felt like a rock had settled in my stomach, realizing that I couldn't remember what her voice had actually sounded like anymore. I pulled my quilt more tightly around me, and gently picked up my photo album. I stared at it for a few moments before I was able to bring myself to open it.

They were all pictures of my Mom and I; some of us together, but mostly just pictures of her, and a small collection of my little school year photos. We didn't look much alike though our facial features were similar; she had sandy brown hair, and vivid green eyes, although she had the same birth defect that I did, with an identical streak of bright yellow on her left eye. I remembered a few years after the accident, my father had starting throwing pictures into the fire place after an afternoon of drinking. Fearing that he would destroy them all, and that I would forget our memories, I started stealing any picture of her I could find. When he found out, it had been the first time he had ever hit me. It was worth it though, and he never found my secret collection that I kept under a loose floorboard in my room.

I continued to stare at my photos even as I heard Charlie wake up, have his shower, putter around in his room and eventually go downstairs into the kitchen. I wasn't sure how I felt about going downstairs today. The smell of bacon wafted up to my room, making my stomach grumble. I went through the list of things I would need to do today in my mind, and made myself get dressed. I knew from a first glance that my hair would be a lost cause today, and put it up into a messy bun on top of my head. I made my bed, and gave my photo album one last squeeze before putting it away again.

"Merry Christmas Mom," I whispered to the empty room, before grabbing Charlie's Christmas present and heading downstairs.

"Morning Bells, Merry Christmas," Charlie wished me happily as I came into the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas Charlie," I said, with all the happiness I could muster. I didn't want to drag down his happy mood with mine. He handed me a plate, and seemed really fidgety as we sat and ate. He grabbed the dishes to start cleaning before I could, and I went to sit with him in the living room for a while before I needed to start cooking. He turned on the TV, and the flickering glances that he kept shooting me had me distracted. He looked really uncomfortable, and I wondered if I had done something that upset him. "Is everything okay Charlie?" I asked, trying not to let my fear leak into my voice.

He looked surprised for a moment, then guilty, and he came and sat beside me on the couch. "Everything's fine, sorry. I'm just not really... good at this sort of stuff." I raised an eye brow curiously, and he sighed as he ran over to the tree and picked up a small package wrapped in red paper. "Merry Christmas kid."

I regarded it in surprise, and he had to poke me with it before I could actually bring myself to touch it. This was my first Christmas in a foster home, and I hadn't been expecting anything. I gingerly unwrapped the paper, and opened up the soft, grey velvet box with trembling hands. Inside was a delicate silver chain, with a small, chocolate diamond pendant.

"Charlie… this is too much, I can't accept this," I said quietly, trying to hand the box back to him. He shook his head, giving me a gentle smile.

"Isabella, I don't have any family of my own. I have no brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews. This necklace belonged to my mother before she died. The first time I met you, and saw your eyes, they reminded me not only of mine, but of hers and this necklace." He took a deep, steadying breath. "You may have only been here a few weeks, but you truly feel like my family already. I want you to have this. And if you'll agree, I want to adopt you. I want this to be permanent."

I stared at him in astonishment for a few, long moments, repeating his words in my mind while trying to figure out where I had misheard him. He kept eye contact with me though, and I couldn't doubt the sincerity in his eyes. He was completely serious. I don't know why, but for some reason this kind, gentle man seemed to truly care about me. He was everything I always dreamed of having in a father, and the happiness that dawned inside of me was almost suffocating. For the second time, I flung my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as possible. "Thank you Charlie."

His arms wrapped around me hesitantly, and I heard his voice rumble through his chest. "Is that a yes?" He asked, sounding bewildered. I nodded my head, and he hugged me tightly. "Oh Bells, I am so happy right now. Thank you so much for coming into my life."

We were quiet like that for a moment, and he kind of cleared his throat oddly. Face flushed, I pulled away quickly, but couldn't hide my smile. I let him fasten the necklace around my neck for me, and the cold stone felt soft and comfortable against my chest. "Oh! I almost forgot, I got a gift for you too!" I dashed to pick up the box in the hallway, almost tripping over my own feet on the way back, and handed the silver package to Charlie. He mumbled something about how I shouldn't have and didn't need to get him anything, but I ignored him and ushered him to open it. I was rewarded with an ear-splitting smile, and could swear I even saw a tear in his eye.

"This is perfect Bells, thank you so much. I love it." Reminding me of a child with his toys on Christmas morning, he ran down to the basement, grabbing his old tackle box and started transferring its contents over to the new one.

He told me that I had another package under the tree absentmindedly, and I approached it curiously. It was a small square box wrapped in brown packing paper, with a letter taped to the front. The return address on it had Renee's name on it.

She had just taken on my case early this year, and I was touched that she thought to send me something. I opened up the letter curiously.

_Dear Isabella,  
I hope that this holiday is filled with joy in your new home. I worry about you often, but I know that you're in good hands with Charlie. Here's something small to help make some memories. Don't make a big fuss about it. I won it in a raffle, and it wouldn't last a day in my house with four boys. Merry Christmas honey, take care.  
Love,  
Renee_

I tore off the paper, and revealed the box for a small silver digital camera. Wow. I sat with Charlie on the living room floor, the both of us playing with our new toys. He helped me set up the camera, and I started to immediately take pictures. I wanted to remember this day for the rest of my life.

Noon came by quickly, and I hastened to get to work. I made my brownie batter, and shoved the dish in the oven quickly. While it was cooking I peeled my potatoes, and left them in a pot of cold water on the stove for later. I started cutting up my bread and vegetables for the stuffing, and washed and peeled the carrots and string beans while Charlie expertly carved up the bird and put it in a roasting dish. I think he was afraid I would hurt myself with the large knife, but I didn't mind. I probably wouldn't have even been able to lift the giant bird. The brownies were out and cooling on the counter, all of the dishes were in their respective containers waiting to be cooked, and I was just finishing the dishes when I heard a car door shut outside. I dashed over to the window, and saw Jacob as he expertly transferred his Dad out of the car into his chair. I was worried that he wouldn't be able to roll his chair through the thick snow, and my jaw dropped as I watched him easily carry the chair, with his father in it, across the lawn. Kind of freaked out, I dashed back into the kitchen before anyone realized that I had been watching.

There was a loud knock on the door before they let their selves in, and I walked calmly back to the front door. I was immediately pulled into Jacob's intense gaze again, feeling almost trapped. He gave me a bright, charming smile.

He was just so _big_. He was obviously strong, but there had just been something… off about the way he had carried Billy. I immediately felt like there was something going on with him, something not normal. The mystery intrigued me more than frightening me.

"Hey Isabella, it's nice to see you again," he said with transparent honesty. I was trying to fight the blood from rushing to my face.

"Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas." I retreated to the kitchen, ready to start turning everything on. Billy followed Charlie into the living room, and I jumped slightly when Jacob slid out a chair from the table. He was very light on his feet, I hadn't even heard him walk in.

"It smells great in here Isabella," he told me politely. There was something in the way that he said my name that intrigued me. It was just a name, you couldn't really say it much different, but at the same time no one had ever said my name quite like _that_. Something inside of me really liked it, and I wanted to hear him say it again. "Do you enjoy cooking?"

I started to pull out dishes and all the other utensils I would need while I answered. "I guess so."

"Why?" He was watching me intently, like he truly wanted to know the answer. My mouth answered honestly without thought.

"My Mom started to teach me when I was really little. She loved to cook, and always made it like a game. I loved it, and just never really stopped. There's something rewarding about seeing someone enjoy something that you made with your own hands." He seemed to hang on to every single word I said, like he was trying to commit it to memory.

"What happened to your Mom?"

"She died in a car crash when I was eight."

I didn't see the usual pity I detested that most people usually expressed when they found out about my parents. Jacob had only a deep look of understanding, no judgment.

"My Mom died in a car crash too, when I was nine. Sorry, I know its sucks." I nodded in understanding. Jacob Black didn't seem like the type that wanted someone's sympathy either. We shared a moment of quiet understanding before I turned on the burner for the pot of potatoes.

Charlie came in to grab a can of beer from the fridge, and Jacob got up and grabbed some pop while he was there. "Hey Charlie, dinner will be done in about an hour." He seemed to grasp my unspoken question as I pictured fitting the four of us; Jacob the giant that he was and Billy with his wheelchair in the small kitchen.

"I have an extra coffee table in the basement, how about we put it against the one in the living room. We should all be able to fit around that with the dishes. There's a bunch of cork plates in the bottom cupboard that you can use to just set all the dishes on."

Jacob grabbed it for us, carrying it like it was a piece of cardboard. I grabbed a table cloth from the linen closet upstairs. When I went to unfold it, Jacob came up beside me. "Here, I can do that for you," he said, taking my wrist. I automatically flinched away at the unexpected contact, and backed right into Charlie.

"Hey, you okay Bells?" He asked, voice filled with concern. My heart was racing, and a quick glance at Jake showed a face filled with some strong emotion that I couldn't name.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I squeaked. I felt really bad, but was too shaken to say anything else. Charlie picked up the table cloth from the ground, handing it to me and asking Jacob if he could speak to him in the kitchen with a calm voice. I stood still for a moment, before taking a steadying breath and laying out the table cloth neatly. I walked very cautiously towards the kitchen.

"-know you didn't mean anything by it. But she's just really not comfortable with people getting in her personal space. Just try to keep your distance a little when you're next to her."

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to scare her. You think she's alright?" Jacob's voice was thinly veiled panic.

"She'll be fine. She was the same way with me before. Just back off a bit kid."

I appreciated Charlie's concern, but didn't want to let them talk about me like I was someone who needed to be sheltered. Yeah, okay, I had a bit of an issue with my space bubble. But people shouldn't just walk up and touch someone they barely knew. No one at school ever just came up and grabbed me, and I obviously wasn't the hugging type. I cleared my throat before I walked back in, and turned on the vegetables and gravy without looking at either of them.

I was a little relieved that Jacob decided not to make a big deal about it, and just acted like nothing happened. I didn't want him to be weird with me. He inquired about what I was doing, intently watched me as I whipped up the potatoes with an electric hand mixer, and helped me carry everything over to the table when it was ready. All without getting closer than three feet towards me. I relaxed again, incident forgotten, and sat down with the others.

Charlie and Billy were sitting on the couch, his wheel chair tucked away in the corner, and Jacob and I sat on either side of them, facing each other. We left the TV on in the background, some Christmas movie playing, and all chatted comfortably together while we ate.

"Oh my god Isabella, these potatoes are amazing. It's like Icing."

I chuckled, "What?"

"I want to build a cake out of steak and use these potatoes to frost it like icing," he said, completely serious. I burst out laughing at that, not being able to contain myself, and he replied with a dazzling smile.

Dinner disappeared quickly, Billy and Charlie both having seconds, and Jacob having fourths. He helped me wash all of the dishes, telling me stories about Billy and Charlie while we cleaned. I sliced up the brownies when we finished, topping them with some vanilla ice cream and bringing them into the living room for Charlie and Jacob's dad. Billy had shifted to one of the recliners like Charlie, and I sat down on the couch with Jacob. He took up most of it.

"You have a yellow stripe in one of your eyes, it's really cool," he said, staring openly once more. It didn't make me as uncomfortable as it had before though. There was something flattering about it.

"Partial Heterochromia," I blurted out.

"Hetero what?" He asked, bewildered.

"Partial Heterochromia, it's the result of a lack in melanin."

"What's melanin?"

"Pigment," I answered with a smile.

"Neat. It's really pretty." My face started to burn, but I couldn't seem to look away. The heat seemed to roll off of him in waves, and I thought of when I had shaken his hand last weekend. He had felt as though he'd been running a dangerous temperature. I noted that just like Leah had the other day, he had come over in no more than a t-shirt and a light open jacket. I tucked those details away with the memory of his eerie strength, and that he looked closer to the age of twenty-five than seventeen. "Oh! I almost forgot," he exclaimed, and pulled a small package out of his side pocket. He handed it to me. "It's a gift, Merry Christmas."

"What? You didn't need to get me anything Jacob. I didn't even think to-"

"No no, it's nothing. I made it myself, so I didn't even pay anything for it. Take it."

It was thin and light, just wrapped in ordinary newspaper. I delicately peeled off the tape, and inside the folded paper was a pretty dream catcher. About the size of my palm, it was made out a thin branch of some kind of red wood. There was a pretty netting made out of white thread that had tiny lavender beads in places. Three soft, fluffy white feathers hung off of the bottom.

"Wow Jacob. It's beautiful, and kind of perfect. Thank you," I told him sincerely. I tried to put as much gratitude as possible into my smile.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing."

He asked me what I had planned for my winter break, and I told him about my new job and the large pile of homework in my room.

"Well, there's going to big a big bonfire on the beach by my house on New Year's Eve. Do you want to come?" I looked over at Charlie, who I knew to be eavesdropping on our conversation.

"I'm going to have to work New Year's Eve, it's always a busy night. If you want to, you can go."

"I'll be there too, it's kind of a town event," Billy said. Noting it wouldn't just be a group of kids drinking on a beach, I was a little reassured. Why not? It sounded like it could be fun.

"Will Leah be there?" I asked curiously.

"Definitely. Seth and her parents too."

"Okay, sure. It sounds fun." My heart fluttered slightly at his smile again, and I tried to convince myself that I wasn't going just because I wanted to spend more time with him.

It was late when they left to go home. I wrapped up a giant dish of leftovers for them, and was thanked again for cooking dinner. I smiled when I had to almost reassure Jacob that I would see him on Saturday, telling him I would come over around eight.

I tied the dream catcher to the frame of my bed, just above my pillows before I fell asleep.

**. . . . .**

Charlie went back to work on Monday, and it was a little eerie being alone in the house for so long. It was a productive day though. I was able to finish my writing assignments for History and English by about four, and went down to the kitchen to make some croquettes from yesterday's leftovers for dinner. I was happy to finish all of my Calculus before work the next afternoon, and revelled in the fact that I would only have my Biology worksheets and Spanish left to do. Work on Tuesday was nuts, the busiest I had ever seen the store. There were a lot of exchanges to do too, and by the time nine-thirty rolled by my head was spinning. I had gotten some extra hours and come in early to help with the Boxing Week sales rush, and stuck behind a little later to help with the cleaning. Mrs. Newton was now shooing me out the door, not wanting me to fall asleep behind the wheel, and I barely made it to my bed before I fell asleep as soon as I got home.

**. . . . .**

I was sitting by myself Wednesday morning in the kitchen, just enjoying a glass of juice while I read the newspaper, and the house phone rang. I hesitated, having never answered it before, but told myself that I was being ridiculous and ran over.

"Hello?"

"Hey Isabella, it's Renee."

"Oh hi Renee! How are you? Merry Christmas, and thank you so much for the camera! I love it." I rushed through the words, just getting excited by the sound of her voice. I missed her.

"I'm good thanks, and a belated Merry Christmas too you too sweetheart. How did spending the day with Charlie go? How are you doing?"

"Things are going well here. I'm doing really well in school, made a few friends, and even got a part time job," I informed her happily. Charlie had probably told her all that already, but it was nice to talk to her. "And things are going really well with Charlie."

"So I can see, he filed for adoption papers," she said. Hearing it again from her gave me that excited feeling again. "How do you feel about that?"

I had been thinking about it for the past couple days, and decided to voice my concerns right away. "I really like being here with Charlie, I don't want to leave. But it does feel like its happening really fast. Do you think it's a good idea?"

She thought about her answer. "I think it's a great idea, but I would never force you to do something like this if you didn't want to. I just had to make sure. People adopt children that they haven't even met all the time; you guys just have the advantage of already knowing each other." Her logic calmed me. She also pointed out that it wouldn't affect my trust fund, and that we would still be staying in contact. There would still be follow-ups just like before.

I asked her about her family, I always enjoyed hearing the uninhibited affection in her voice when she talked about her sons. We chatted about my school and new job for a while, but she had to get back to work. She told me that she had set an appointment with Charlie on the fourth to do the paperwork, and that she would be seeing me then.

I hopped in the shower then, and the phone rang again just after I stepped out. It was only noon, and Charlie wouldn't be home for a while, so I ran down in my towel to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabella, It's Angela."

"Hey Angela," I said happily. I felt kind of popular today, the thought of two callers making me grin. "How are your holidays so far?"

"Oh they're going pretty well. Ben's out of town with his parents visiting family for a while, so I've been cooped up at home. I thought I'd call and see if you wanted to meet up for a bit today? We could just hang out at my place and do some homework."

"That actually sounds great," I said honestly. "I have a bunch of Biology work sheets to do." She gave me directions to her house, it was really close to The Diner, and I told her that I'd head over in about an hour. After we hung up, I went back upstairs and got dressed. I dried my hair as thoroughly as possible, knowing it would freeze as soon as I walked outside. I tidied up my room, packed my work into my backpack, and had a quick lunch before heading out.

Angela's father was at work, but she introduced me to her Mom and twin younger brothers. They were only five, and completely adorable, though they looked to be quite a handful. Her Mom was a sweet woman, and held a striking resemblance to her daughter. After our quick introduction, we went and hid in her room.

I discreetly took in the details of her room while we sat down on a thick, circular rug in the middle of her floor. She had pale yellow walls, and a fluffy white bed that had a pile of stuffed animals next to it. Her walls were covered in random posters, pictures and photos, and her shelves and desk were covered with all sorts of different knickknacks. I had a flash of envy; this is what the room of a girl who had gotten to live her life in one place was like. I had become a bit of a minimalist since my father died. Besides a safety deposit box at a bank in Newcastle, all of my possessions fit neatly into two suitcases. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I wouldn't get upset with this, and I wouldn't be angry with Angela for something that was out of her control. Though I wondered if she knew how truly lucky she was.

After a few moments, that calmed feeling that came with her company settled over me. I felt so comfortable around her relaxed personality, and it reminded me of Leah. They were complete opposites and I had difficulty picturing them together, my two friends, but they had the same effect on me when we were together.

We sat comfortably on her floor, listening to the radio and chatting easily while we did our homework. We talked about our Christmases, and I took a picture of her with my new digital camera. We talked about her boyfriend Ben, and some of the other boys at school.

"Has Mike asked you out yet?" She asked in a forced nonchalant tone, but there was a hint of a smirk on her face.

"What? Why would you ask that?" I said, face flushing.

"Come on Isabella, it's obvious that he has a total crush on you. It's why Jessica… isn't fond of you," she tried to say delicately.

"Mike's a… nice guy, but he's really not my type," I told her honestly. He was friendly enough, but I couldn't see myself actually hanging out with him and enjoying it. There was something about him that let me know that he just wanted what every other boy his age wanted. He didn't actually like_ me_, he didn't really even know me. I was just someone new in the town he lived in since he was a child. Angela must have sensed my unease, and switched to an easier subject.

"So, how is your mountain of homework coming along?"

I tried not to smile too obviously. "Great actually, after this," I gestured to the papers spread out in front of me, "All I have left is my Spanish." I tried not to sound too proud, no one liked a gloater.

"Lucky. I still have my math, reading, and two writing assignments to do," she said glumly.

We both ended up finishing our Biology. It didn't take me long, but Angela was happy to accept some help. I didn't give her the answers, but I made it much easier to find the answers she was looking for. "Why are you so good at this stuff?" She asked me, a little irritated at the textbook.

I didn't want to come off like a snob, but I also didn't want to tell a lie to her. I wanted us to have a real friendship, and I knew that couldn't last if I kept it too one-sided. Besides, this gentle girl wasn't the judging type. "I've always been really into school. I know it sounds cheesy, but I just love learning new things. I was in some advanced classes at my last school, but Forks didn't really offer any of those. Most of my classes right now are more of a repeat of last year for me." I doodled on the back of my notebook while I talked.

"Oh. That must be really boring," she said with sincere sympathy, I smiled to reassure her.

"A little, but's it's not too bad. At least it's easy to keep my grades up. The History curriculum is different here, and I had never taken Spanish before, so they've been keeping me on my toes," I told her happily.

"So, what are you doing for New Year's?"

"Well, Charlie's friends are having a bonfire down on the Reservation; I told them I would go to it. What about you?" I asked, but I was thinking more about Jacob's bright smile than listening to her answer. She let me know that she would be going to a small party with Ben.

"I was going to drive up to Port Angeles to get something nice to wear though, on Friday morning. Would you like to come?"

"Sure," I told her happily. There were a few things I wanted to pick up too, and the resources here were extremely limited. My stomach growled loudly, and looking at the clock I realized it was almost four thirty. I excused myself, thanking Angela and her Mom for having me over, to go home and make dinner. Angela told me that she would come over at about ten on Friday to pick me up.

I got home, put my stuff away in my room, then started rummaging around the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. I cooked some bacon for a Cesar salad, and breaded a couple chicken breasts. After frying them for a couple of minutes on each side to make them crispy, I transferred them over to a baking sheet to finish in the oven. I did love fried chicken, but I preferred doing it this way. Finishing them in the oven released a lot of the extra oil, so it tasted great but was _slightly_ healthier.

Charlie came in just after I was taking them out of the oven, and I assembled a salad while he got changed out of his uniform and put away his gun. He had never left it downstairs since that first time it spooked me.

"So how was your day Bells?" He asked, mouth full.

"Really good. Renee called this morning, and I talked to her for a while. Then Angela invited me to hang out, and I spent the afternoon at her place doing homework with her."

"That's nice, the Webber's are a good family," he said. Everyone in this town knew each other. I told him about my shopping plans with her on Friday, and he gave me a curious expression. My stomach sank.

"Is that okay?" I asked timidly.

"Of course," he replied, composing his face. "Port Angeles is a big city though, I just worry about you girls being there by yourself."

I smiled at his concern. "I did grow up in Seattle Charlie, I think I can handle Port Angeles."

He nodded, but got up and fished something out of a kitchen drawer. The one that was filled with random things like pens, batteries and miscellaneous papers, before sitting back down. "You're right, but I would feel much more comfortable if you carried this with you." He handed me a small container of pepper spray.

I raised an eye brow. "I really don't think it's necessary Charlie-"

"Please Bells? Just humor me," he asked, voice filled with concern. I nodded, and slipped in into the pocket of my jeans.

**. . . . .**

I was back to my usual hours on Thursday, pulling into the parking a lot at a quarter to four. I dropped my purse in my cubby behind the main counter, slipped on my blue vest, and went to start bagging the items that Mrs. Newton was ringing through.

"Thank you dear," she said with a warm smile. "How are you enjoying your holidays so far?" I assured her that they were going well, and then she asked me to start unloading a flat of merchandise that her husband was pulling up the aisle. As I started cutting open the boxes and scanning the barcodes of the new tents, I tried to fathom why anyone would want to go camping in the snow. The packs were quite heavy, and after about an hour and a half I could feel a faint sheen of sweat on my face, and my arms were starting to feel kind of rubbery. I was trying to get one onto the top shelf that was just slightly out of my reach, when someone taller came up behind me and took it out of my raised arms.

"Oh, thanks Mike," I said, trying to regain some more of my personal space.

"Don't mention it. Here, I'll do the top ones for you," he offered. I nodded another thanks, and started scanning them into the system, then passing them over for him to stack on the shelf. We worked in silence for almost twenty minutes, and I could feel his gaze flicker to me every few minutes. We finished, and I sighed in relief before smiling at him. He shifted a little closer to me, and I watched in disbelief as he raised a hand towards my face. It looked like he was trying to tuck a stray lock of hair behind me ear, but I backed away before he could. Seemingly unfazed, he dropped him arm and shrugged with a guilty smile. "So Isabella, a bunch of friends and I are going to this all ages club in Port Angeles for New Years. You should come with us," he told me confidently while we started to break down the cardboard packing boxes. I fidgeted slightly, Angela's words echoing in my mind. I didn't want to come off rude though, I liked my job.

"Oh, thanks, but I sort of already have plans," I told him politely.

"Oh, okay. Cool. No problem." He didn't seem very used to rejection as he turned around and rolled the pallet into the back by himself, and I tried not to smile.

I spent the last two hours of my shift sweeping and mopping the floors while Mrs. Newton watched the counter and filled out some paperwork. Nine rolled around, and she caught me as I was putting away my vest. "Oh Isabella, don't forget this," she said, handing me a white envelope. _My first paycheck_, I noted with a smile. "We'll still be open on Saturday, but we'll be closing early, so I'll just need you until about five," she informed me. I told her that was fine, wished her a good night, and headed back out to my truck. I couldn't help a smile at the number on the piece of paper. Not only had I gotten extra hours on Tuesday, but I was paid time and a half for working Christmas Eve. I was definitely going to get my blow dryer.

**. . . . .**

I woke up early the next day with Charlie, jumping into the shower as soon as he headed to work. Now that things had gotten more comfortable, he was back to his old hours of working six to five. I worried about his long hours, but even in a small town like this, the position of Chief of Police seemed to come with a large plate of work. I made it to the bank when it opened at eight, cashing my cheque and taking out some spending money, and got back home with an hour to spare before Angela came over. Feeling a little mentally drained, I sat down in front of the TV and just watched the Weather Network for a while.

I wasn't very big on shopping, and this was the first time I had ever just gone out with another girl my age and done so. I could tell that she wasn't overly big on the idea either, but we each had a good time. We made it to the mall in Port Angeles just after noon, taking the roads carefully through the snow covered roads. We stopped at a few clothing stores, Angela bought a simple red dress for her party, and I got a couple new pairs of jeans, some shirts, and a new pair of boots. There was a small hole in my current pair, and I decided that it was time that I replaced them. Angela helped me pick out a new blow dryer.

She was very patient with me while I browsed through the small Chapters outlet that we found. I was glad; this was my haven. I never felt more at home anywhere, even at Charlie's, as I did when I was in a book store. I loved the quiet atmosphere, and the feeling of being surrounded by so many untapped sources of knowledge. She stuck close by, and caught me opening up a thick novel and taking a deep breath of the fresh pages. It made her laugh, and she raised an eyebrow at me curiously. "Did you just smell that book?"

My face turned bright red as I tried to defend myself. "The smell of a new book is my favourite scent in the whole world. Come on, try," I said, holding the open book towards her. She laughed again, but conceded, taking a small whiff.

"Hmm, interesting," she said. I could tell that she didn't really get the appeal, but was relieved that she didn't tease me about it. We walked around for a little while, and when our stomachs both growled hungrily, she took us to a nice Italian restaurant that she liked in town.

It wasn't a long walk from where we parked her car, but the air was sharply cold, and we both relaxed as soon as we walked into the warm, delicious smelling establishment. We had to wait a few minutes in line, but were escorted to a small table in the middle of the busy restaurant after about ten minutes. She ordered a Panini with a side of fries, and I ordered some pasta with rosé sauce, peppers and spicy Italian sausage. It was delicious, and I made a note to try and make it for Charlie some time. After desert, I ordered a second piece of the delicious chocolate cheesecake to bring home to Charlie. We paid our bills and made the slow drive back home to Forks. It took me a couple minutes to convince her to take some money for gas, and we planned to meet up some time next week to hang out again.

Charlie was relieved to see me make it home safely, and more than thankful for his dessert.

**. . . . .**

I was a little on edge at work the next day. Not because I was working alone with Mr. Newton by myself for the first time, but because of my plans for the evening. This party would be yet another first for me, and I wouldn't have Charlie there acting as a buffer this time in the group of people. I was looking forward to hanging out with Leah again though, and had an odd sense of excitement about the idea of seeing Jacob Black again.

There was a small rush at the end of my shift, and Mr. Newtown thanked me gratefully for staying the extra hour to help out, before saying goodbye and wishing me a happy New Year. The weather was strangely calm today, and I hoped it would hold up. I thought it was a little curious for them to have a bonfire on a beach in the middle of winter, and hoped the fire would be strong enough to fight off some of the cold.

I was surprised to see Charlie at home when I finished, but he told me that he wanted to get a bit of rest since he would be at the station overnight. I left him to drift off on the couch while I puttered as quietly as possible upstairs. I took another shower, and was happy with the result of my new blow dryer. I had never been able to get my hair so straight before. I picked out my outfit carefully; a warm pair of jeans that still looked nice, thick socks, and the new red blouse that I had gotten with Angela yesterday. The time seemed to tick by slowly as I glanced at the clock, trying to distract myself with the new novel I had gotten. Charlie went back to work, and I killed the last two hours baking a big tray of Blondies to take down with me.

**. . . . .**

I pulled into the Black's driveway just after eight, and Jacob was outside rushing to my door before I killed the engine. He opened my door for me, and for a minute actually looked like he was going to hug me, but the look disappeared quickly as he backed away slightly and help the door for me to come out like an old time gentlemen. I cursed my traitorous face for blushing.

"Hey Isabella, I'm glad you're here. I was worried you might change your mind," he admitted shyly.

"It's nice to see you too Jacob. Thanks again for inviting me," he had no idea about the awkward party invitation he had saved me from accepting. I slid out of the car, carrying the plate of snacks, and he gently closed the door behind me before leading the way to the house.

"Ooo, what are those?" He asked excitedly when we were inside. I peeled the tinfoil back to show him. He had never heard of Blondies before, they were terribly under-advertised. I explained to him that they were like a chocolate-free brownie with extra nuts, and he plucked one off the top without shame, popping the entire square into his mouth. "Wow, they're delicious. We should probably leave them in the kitchen for now so I don't eat them all." He told me that there would be a couple tables for food at the beach later that I could leave them on, and we went into his living room.

We sat in awkward silence for a moment. Well, I felt awkward, he seemed completely at ease as he sat down on the couch next to me, not too close but closer than he needed to be on the big couch, and flicked on the TV. There was a rerun marathon of Friends playing that he seemed completely uninterested then, but I appreciated the background noise.

"So… where's Billy?" I asked curiously.

"He's down at the beach supervising the preparations," he told me, and I couldn't help but wonder how hard it would be to do anything in a wheelchair on a beach covered in snow. "They're still getting everything set up now, but we can head down in an hour or so when they're done if you want."

"Sure."

I worried that it would be really difficult to sit here alone with this guy that I didn't really know, but after only ten minutes I started to feel really comfortable in his company. He was really easy to talk to, and I found my usual shyness with tying to talk to someone slowly evaporate. I felt safe and at ease in his company, and found myself easily laughing at his jokes. I grew more comfortable too with the way he watched me, never breaking eye contact with me. It wasn't making me nervous anymore, and I realised that I enjoyed him looking at me like that. I didn't want to look away either. He told me about some of his friends here on the reservation, what it was like to grow up in such a close-knit community, and asked me about my friends here. The later part was a short conversation, as my circle of friends included Angela, hanging out with Leah once, and working with Mike. He wanted to know about my friends back in Seattle, and didn't seem to think I was weird when I told him that I didn't really have any.

"I find that hard to believe," he commented though. I shrugged.

"I've just never really fit in with a crowd before. I'm not a very interesting person."

"Oh, now that I don't believe that in the slightest," he said seriously, a charming smile playing on his lips. I tried not to stare too obviously at his mouth. I realised that he had shifted just the tiniest bit closer to me, I'm not sure when, but I was happy with the realisation that I didn't mind. I wanted to be closer to him , and the unfamiliar thought made me feel nervous again.

I looked over at the clock, realizing it was almost ten, and he followed my surprised gaze.

"Damn, I completely forgot about the time. Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all, but maybe a bit pleased. "Do you want to head down to the beach?"

"Okay." I think I would have been completely comfortable sitting here with him for the rest of the evening, but I wasn't quite ready to admit that to myself yet. I tied up my new warm boots, wrapped a scarf around my neck and pulled on my jacket. I hated the feeling of my hair being caught under my clothes, and slid an arm behind my neck, pulling it out from under my coat. I caught Jacob watching me with a fascinated expression, just smiling when he realised he had been caught. I had to admit that I found his confidence to be a very attractive trait. He carried the plate of food for me as we walked outside, and I silently noted that once again he just wore on open leather jacket over his shirt.

It was a short walk down to the beach, and I was glad not to be distracted by carrying anything as I walked through the snow on the unfamiliar road. I was able to see a flickering of light beyond the trees, and a buzzing of voices, but I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted us once we walked onto the frozen sand.

I assumed that the strong winds off of the water prevented the snow from accumulating on the beach, because it was mostly clear yet frozen solid like cement. There looked to be about a hundred people surrounding the fire that looked almost as big as Jacob's house. Some of them were standing, some sitting in lawn chairs, and others sitting down on the ground on top of thick blankets. There was a grouping of tables off to one side that he led me to first. He set down the tray with all of the other food, grabbed us each a Styrofoam cup of hot chocolate, and threw a big grey fire blanket over his broad shoulder. There was a large, convenient stack of them on a bench close to the food.

We said hello to Billy quickly, who was occupied by talking to a group of older adults. There was a very narrow area of a comfort zone around the fire. Standing anywhere closer than four meters away from it was sweltering hot, but moving any further away from it than maybe six meters the wind off of the beach was piercing. Jacob found an empty space in the habitable zone, and laid out the blanket on the ground before gesturing for me to take a seat. I obliged with a smile, and he gracefully folded down beside me.

"Hey Isabella!" Leah shouted, dropping down next to me and nudging me with her shoulder. I smiled happily at her comfortable greeting. "Glad you're here, I'd been thinking about calling to invite you, but apparently Jacob beat me to the chase," she said with a knowing grin. My cheeks flushed slightly at her tone.

"He said you'd be here, you're _one_ of the reasons I wanted to come," I told her shyly. I think I might have accentuated the word 'one' a little too strongly, and deliberately didn't look over to Jacob. I tried to change the subject quickly. "I was a bit surprised to find out you guys would be having a bonfire in the middle of winter though."

"Oh this weather doesn't bother us." At that moment, two men dropped down onto our blanket on either side of Jacob. They had the same russet coloured skin as him, both had black hair, and were each at least six feet tall. Man, what were they feeding the kids around here? They all seemed so _big_. "Our blood runs hot here on the Rez." The same boy said again, the one sitting between Jacob and I. Something about his tone made my face burn again.

Jacob grabbed him in something of a bear hug, holding him a little _too_ tightly I guessed from the expression on his face. "Isabella, this idiot is Embry," he said, before almost throwing him off of the large blanket. He slid a little bit closer to me, just making the space between us small enough that no one could sit there comfortably. "And this is Quil." He gestured to the man beside him, who seemed a little more polite and gave me a very friendly smile. "The friends that I was telling you about earlier." I smiled shyly, offering them both a wave. Seth ran over too when he spotted us.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, the six of us on the blanket together, but after we settled into some easy conversation it got quite comfortable. They all seemed to have the oddly high body temperature that Jacob did, and I felt like I was in a bubble of warmth. After a little while, I even ended up taking off my coat, and folded in under myself as an extra cushion. Quil had left and come back with arms filled with as much food as he could carry, and we had a fun little picnic. It was very peaceful. Even over the murmur of talking people around the fire, you could still clearly hear the crackle of the flames and the crashing of the waves in the distance. The light from the fire sent a soft flickering glow over everyone, and our shadows danced behind us on the beach.

I could tell immediately that they were all extremely close. It was obvious that they all cared about each other, even with their constant bickering, and they reminded me of a big group of siblings. They kept me busy the entire night with their questions, each taking turns. For some reason they all seemed to want to get to know me better. It was a little odd, overwhelming and heart-warming all at the same time. They asked about movies, sport, hobbies, music, food. Quil had asked me about my family before I came here to Forks, but thankfully Jake changed the subject quickly for me. He seemed to just instinctually know what would upset me and what wouldn't, keeping the conversation from ever getting too uncomfortable.

I learned a fair amount about them too. The Reservation had apparently been the home of their tribe, the Quileutes, for hundreds of years. The tribe still had a council, which apparently all of their parents belonged to except for Embry who had just grown up as childhood friends with Jacob and Quil. Quil was also Jacob's cousin. It didn't seem like any of them except for Seth were still in high school, though they were apparently the same age as me and Leah was the only one to have graduated. Not wanting to be rude, I didn't pry for details, but put the notes away with the neat pile of curious details about the Quileutes in my mind. Later on in the evening, a slightly older man came over and set up a blanket next to us for his girlfriend and himself. Jacob introduced them as Sam an Emily, more friends of theirs. I had to avert my eyes after saying hello, not wanting to be thought of staring at Emily when the flickering orange light lit up her face. She was very beautiful. Tall with long, thick black hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile, but there were three deep, vicious scars that ran along the right side of her face, slightly distorting her features by pulling down the corner of her eye and her mouth. I did peek again at her and Sam once they had sat down, arms wrapped around each other lovingly. Even just observing them out of the corner of my eye, the love and devotion that Sam had for her was palpable. I felt like I was intruding on something private it was so intense, and I had to look away. How amazing it must be to have a love so strong like that. Quil Left shortly after they arrived, saying that he had to go check something vaguely and receiving a nod from Jacob that I pretended not to notice. He told me that he was happy to have finally met me and received a smack from Jake. The nick name was catching on. We wished each other a Happy New Year and he disappeared off into the tree line. I was surprised when someone shouted loudly, starting the count down. The hours had just seemed to fly by, and I watched the people surrounding us join in quickly. They said "Two", and I looked over to Jacob. "One", he smiled at me, and my stomach clenched in unexpected fear. "Happy New Year!" His smile never faltered, and he didn't move a millimeter. Everyone around us broke out into hugs and kisses, but he remained perfectly still, watching me like I was the only other person in the world, and he wanted nothing more than to be just right here, sitting next to me.

"Happy New Year Jake," I whispered, reminding myself to breathe again.

"Happy New Year Bells." I didn't mind him using Charlie's nickname in the slightest.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	5. Chapter Five: Powerful

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Five :: Powerful**

**Isabella**

"Well, that's it," Renee said happily, tapping the pile of papers out to straighten them "All finished. I can't tell you how happy this makes me." Her eyes had started to water, and I could see that she was being completely honest.

I looked over to Charlie then, who was watching me with a very strong emotion in his eyes that I couldn't quite name. He smiled at me with so much happiness, and I felt my face mirror his. It was official, Charlie Swan had adopted me. I would now be Isabella Marie Larose-Swan. I couldn't bring myself to completely drop my last name. Not because I wanted my father's name, but it had been my mother's as well, and I couldn't let that piece of her go. Charlie didn't seem offended though, and took us out to a fancy restaurant while we were in the city. Renee reassured me that we would still be in contact, there would be a follow up in another month, but that I could call her anytime.

Despite the paperwork and the addition on my name, I didn't feel very different as we made the long drive home. I was happy, don't get me wrong, but I had been happy with Charlie for what felt like a long time now. I had liked him almost immediately after I met him, and the fact that he had named me his daughter didn't feel real. But as we pulled into our driveway and walked into the house, the feeling shifted away. No, this was real.

I was Home.

The words, and more importantly the deeper meaning behind them, hit me hard in the gut. I dashed into my room quickly, before Charlie could misinterpret my tears. They may have been against my rules, but I didn't get angry with myself this time. These were different, tears of happiness. I hadn't felt at home in nine years, and this one was for real. Charlie wouldn't send me back. I wouldn't have to try and fit into another stranger's home. I wouldn't have to go back to the boarding house and share a room with seven other girls. I wouldn't be alone anymore.

Once my eyes dried, I washed my face with ice cold water and went back to Charlie, who was worried as I had expected. "Sorry Charlie." I hated upsetting him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm great, I'm just... really happy."

He smiled brightly, and I let him pull me into a big hug.

**. . . . .**

"So, has Jacob asked you out on another date yet?" He had been quite for an hour, watching a game while I sat in my pyjamas reading Spanish.

"It wasn't a date Charlie. We hung out with Leah and a bunch of his friends at a social gathering. That was it." My face felt like lava.

He laughed at my disgruntled tone, making me fold my arms across my chest. "You didn't answer the question Bells."

I shifted slightly in my chair, trying to concentrate on the textbook in my lap while I spoke. "I'm going to see another movie with Leah on Saturday night after work. Jacob might tag along."

"That's pretty late to go see a movie, make sure to bring your pepper spray. Though anyone who would try to mess with Sue's daughter has a death wish. That kid's tuff as nails." I laughed at his accurate observation; I would never want to be on her bad side.

**. . . . .**

The break had passed quickly, but I didn't mind. After a dizzying amount of studying, and Angela's help, I finally felt that I was caught up with the rest of the class. Her Spanish it turns out was very good, but she was a very dedicated student so that didn't surprise me. I think it's one of the things that made us get along so well. She assured me that the class wasn't taken very seriously, and I was further along than I needed to be. It had been fun having her over on Thursday. I had worried that she would be bored with me here, but she didn't seem bothered at all.

"Hey Isabella, could you help that man at the counter for me? I need to make a phone call."

I nodded to Mrs. Newton, and ran over to the counter. My right hip collided painfully with the corner, and I bit onto my curse. "Sorry about that. Did you find everything you-"

"Jeeze Bells, you hit that hard. Are you okay?"

My gaze shot up, _way up_, to the face of Jacob Black. He was wearing blue jeans, steel toed working boots that were spattered in oil, a tight black t-shirt and his usual open leather jacket. His short hair was kind of spiked up from the moisture of the falling snow. I noticed that I had taken a little too long to answer him, and spat out some words quickly. "Um, yeah. Okay. What's up?"

His face relaxed into his usual smile. "Leah said that you two were going to see a movie tonight. I thought I'd ask your permission to see if I could come."

"I don't mind." Okay, that was _too_ quickly. Charlie would be laughing his butt off if he could see me right now.

"Cool." He just stood there, smiling.

"Well, I'm picking Leah up at nine thirty, movie's at eleven. I can pick you up on the way?"

"How about I drive? My car's a little faster, and easier on gas." He gave me a knowing look. Yeah, the truck was a guzzler.

"Okay. I guess that's fine."

"Awesome. I'll pick Leah up and be at your house in an hour." He gave me a small awkward wave, then strutted out the front door. I looked at the clock, half an hour to go. I suddenly felt the need to get changed and try to fix my messy hair. It had still been wet when I came to work, and tended to dry in curls if I didn't pay attention to it.

"Oh you can head home if you want sweetie," Mrs. Newton said, catching me observing the clock.

"Oh that's okay, I couldn't-"

"It's completely empty in here Isabella. Go home; I'll see you on Tuesday." I didn't want to argue twice, especially with that tone.

"Thanks Mrs. Newton, have a nice night!"

I got home in record time, and dashed up to my room to get changed. I must have brushed my hair for like twenty minutes, and the messy curls turned into soft waves. I put on a pair of grey pants, a black t-shirt with a v-neck and faded picture of a pink bar of soap, and decided at the last minute to put on Charlie's necklace. He was right, it did really match my eyes. I only had one winter coat, so it cut down my options for me, and went to sit with Charlie in the living room.

"Aren't you picking Leah up?" He asked me curiously.

"Actually... I'm being picked up instead." I was a little embarrassed to say it was Jacob who would be driving. Just then, a knock on the door. I hadn't even seen the headlights. Charlie beat me to the door, and gave me a knowing look and a teasing smile.

"Well, _hello Jacob_. Nice to see you." That tone was completely unnecessary. I felt like I would die of embarrassment.

"Hey Charlie. How's it going?" He was completely at ease, not seeming to notice.

"Good good. You kids don't stay out too late after the movie. And be careful on the roads." He went back down to his spot on the chair, leaving us be. Leah honked on the horn from the truck.

It was Billy's truck, much newer than my 1953 Chevy pickup, but it also had that long three-seater bench. Jake beat me to my door, holding it open for me very gallantly, and Leah slid over to make room for me.

"Sorry about him," Leah said while rolling her eyes. "He wouldn't let up. I didn't think you'd mind, but I made him go ask permission first," she explained.

"It's okay, I don't mind," I reassured her, keeping my tone neutral.

"How was your week? Do anything interesting?"

"Oh you know, work, homework… And Charlie adopted me on Wednesday. What about you?"

They both looked at me in surprise. "Hey! Jacob, keep your eyes on the road!" I shouted, voice panicked. He apologized, looking away.

"I thought he already adopted you, isn't that why you were staying with him?"

"No, it was a foster program thing," I told her. "This is more... permanent." For some reason, I didn't mind telling this to her. I knew for some reason she wouldn't judge me for that past, it didn't seem in her nature and she just seemed genuinely curious. I remembered that my situation was… uncommon in this area.

"Well I'm really happy to hear that, and glad that you won't be leaving us anytime soon." She gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder, making the corner of my mouth twitch up. "What was that like? Before you came here with Charlie?"

"Well, you're kind of all over the place. I was born in Newcastle, just outside of Seattle, so when my father died a year and a half ago, I was moved there, changed schools and had to stay in a temporary boarding house. I was at two different foster homes before here, but they didn't last very long. So I was going back and forth between them and the boarding home, but thankfully they were both in Seattle so I didn't have to change schools. Then I came here," I added happily.

"Wow, that sounds like it really sucks," Leah said, her tone making me laugh a little. "What happened with the other foster guys?" She asked curiously.

"Umm… Sorry, I'd rather not talk about it," I told her quietly, and looked out the window. It was dark, but the white snow banks reflecting the moonlight helped me see the bare trees rushing past.

"That's cool. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Don't worry about it."

"So you're heading back to school on Monday?" And just like that, the uncomfortable moment passed.

Jacob got us to the busy theater in record time. He looked at us questionably while we waited in line. "White Noise? Isn't that a horror film?" He asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, so?" Leah and I asked at the same time.

"No, it's nothing. Just wasn't expecting it."

"You didn't already know what we were coming to see?" I asked him, I had figured that that was why he had asked to come. Leah spoke before he could answer though.

"I'm sure there's some chick flick playing if you want to go see that instead. We'll be fine on our own."

"No no, this is fine," he said quickly. We waited in line, getting our tickets and a bunch of snacks, and ended up getting pretty good seats for opening night. After we sat down, we chatted while the seats around us filled up quickly.

"Isabella?" I turned around at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, hey Mike, hey Jess." She gave me the first friendly smile I'd ever seen on her.

"Hi Isabella! It's so nice to see you outside of school. Who are your friends?" She linked her arm through Mike's possessively.

"Oh, um. Jacob, Leah, this is Mike and Jessica, they go to school with me."

"Oh yeah, Bells mentioned that she worked with you." Jacob turned around to shake his head, and I watched Mike's eyes go wide for a short moment as he took him in. Was he flexing? "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too. Well, enjoy the movie guys." I nodded, and turned back around in my seat as I took off my jacket.

"Hah, Fight Club. Nice," Jacob said, and I grinned. "So, my Dad asked me to drive him over to Charlie's on Tuesday to watch a game. Will you be there?"

"Oh, I work on Tuesdays. I'm usually home by a quarter after nine though."

"Cool, maybe I'll catch you before we head home."

"Maybe," I conceded, smiling slightly.

"Hey Jake, toss me some of your Twizzlers," Leah whispered loudly over my lap when the lights had started to fade.

"Fat chance Leah."

"Come on man, where's your chivalry? Just a couple."

"If I give you some, will you shut up?"

"Sure." The woman in front of her turned around and shushed her. "You got a problem?" Leah asked, her normal tone carrying. The woman shook her head, and slid down in her seat a bit. Jacob shook his head, and handed her a handful of his candy.

I felt Jacob's eyes flicker over to me every once in a while, and wondered absently if he was waiting for me to jump. If so, he was wasting his time; it was rare that movies ever scared me. So when a blurred face popped up onto a static filled TV screen and he hopped out of his seat a little, I couldn't help looking over while I tried to muffle my laugh. He didn't look very comfortable, arms crossed in on himself, trying to keep his arm off the armrest. I remembered how I had flinched away from him on Christmas and felt really guilty.

"You don't look very comfortable," I whispered to him, leaning towards him slightly. He grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, these seats are kind of small. Would you mind if?..." He made a small awkward arm gesture behind me.

"No, I don't mind." He straightened out in his chair, and easily hung his arm over the back of my chair. My face flushed as I felt the heat from his arm on the back of my hair, and I was glad for the darkness of the theater that protected me.

After a few moments, I relaxed from my rigid state. I decided that I didn't mind this closeness with him, I felt safe in the shadow of his protective form. I was almost tempted to lean over slightly. Three inches, that was all the space that prevented me from leaning into his side. I felt my heart flutter slightly at the thought, and swear that he must have heard it when I felt him look in my direction. _Stop being ridiculous_, I told myself.

Was I being crazy though? Maybe about him having supersonic hearing, but there was something here. I felt like there was some invisible force trying to pull me toward him. Then there was the way he looked at me, sometimes making me feel like I was the only other person in the world. The seemingly unrestrainable smile he always wore when we talked. His incomprehensible fascination with me, and the sense of comfort and safety that I felt exclusively while I was close to him. Was that all in my head too?

The theatre of people all screamed at once, making the three of us burst into laughter. Leah's eyes stayed glued to the screen, but I peeked up at Jacob again. His laugh made a warm feeling spread in my chest. He was looking back down at me, and our eyes locked again. I don't know how I had thought that brown eyes were boring before. His were so deep and warm…

Something changed in his expression, and he moved an inch closer to me. No no no… was he going to kiss me? I was not ready for this, not at all. The only man who had ever kissed me before was… no, I wouldn't think about that. My stomach heaved uncomfortably.

I don't know if he saw the fear in my eyes, but he gave me back that inch of space and a gentle smile before turning back to the screen. After almost a minute, I realized that I had been holding my breath, and let it out gently. I relaxed again shortly after, feeling almost drowsy from the heat that he and Leah radiated.

It was almost one thirty in the morning when the movie let out, and we waved goodbye to Mike and Jess as we walked to the truck. I squeezed in between Leah and Jacob, and she ended up drifting off after about twenty minutes.

"Wow, she must be really tired. I didn't see her as the type to fall asleep in front of others," I whispered to Jake over the music on the radio.

"Yeah, she was working most of the day," he said casually, but something changed in his features, like he had said something wrong. I was suspicious.

"Oh, where does she work?"

"I think she was just helping her Mom work on something, I wasn't really paying attention." Something about that seemed to make him sad. I didn't like seeing that expression on his face. It felt wrong. I said the first thing that popped into my mind to distract him.

"Have you ever noticed that the sun and moon look the same size?"

"What?" He asked, thoroughly distracted. Win.

"The sun and the moon. They appear the same size from earth. It's because that even though the sun is four hundred times bigger than the moon, the moon is four hundred times closer to us. Pretty neat coincidence, huh?"

He laughed, making his body shake with the motion. "Yeah, that _is_ pretty cool." He looked at me with a curious smile from the corner of his eye. "How big is the moon?"

"Three thousand, four hundred and seventy-six kilometers wide. Why?"

"I just wanted to know if you knew the answer," he said with another laugh. "How do you know this stuff?"

"Just read it in a book somewhere, I have a pretty good memory," I told him.

"Yeah, I can see that. Well, a good memory is a great gift to have."

"Not always," I said under my breath, quietly so that he wouldn't hear. He pulled up in front of my house. How fast had he driven? He opened his door and got out so that we wouldn't have to wake Leah, and he walked me to my door.

"Thanks Jake. I had a really great time."

"Yeah, me too," he said. He was smiling, but it didn't completely reach his eyes. Was he as un-wanting of this goodbye as I was?

"Um, if you want sometime, maybe we could hang out? Like without Billy, Charlie or Leah." I felt completely embarrassed by my words, I sounded ridiculous. My fears were washed away though when his real smile came back to his face.

"I would really like that."

"Cool. Okay. Well, you have Charlie's number." I shifted an inch closer to the door.

"Yeah, I do. Good night Isabella."

"Good night Jacob." I watched him walk back over to the truck, and ducked inside before he could catch me watching.

That night was the first night that I dreamt of Jacob Black.

**. . . . .**

When I woke up I was having a hard time making myself open my eyes. I felt so warm and comfortable, just like I had in my dream, and was trying to find an excuse that would permit me to just stay curled up like this until dinner. My left eye fluttered open by the tiniest sliver, and I peeked at my watch. It was three o clock.

Shit, I had slept almost twelve hours, what was wrong with me? I groaned, rolled out of my bed onto the cold floor, and forced myself to put on some clothes. After brushing my teeth and splashing some cold water on my face, I dragged my feet down the stairs.

"_She's alive_," Charlie announced with a bad Dr. Frankenstein impersonation. I just shook my head and plopped down on the couch. "How was your night?"

I couldn't help a bit of a dazed smile. Jacob's laugh, his arm around the back of my chair, his smile when I asked if we could hang out together floated through my mind. "It was great."

He laughed about something, but didn't say anything. We had a quiet afternoon, just sitting and watching TV while I remained almost half asleep. I took twenty minutes to make us some easy spaghetti for dinner, but Charlie seemed just as happy as if I had cooked him a three course steak dinner; he was easy to please. It felt almost oddly rewarding; just doing nothing at all for the entire day, and trying not to over think the fact that tomorrow I would be starting my last semester of high school.

**. . . . .**

Nothing really seemed to change at school. We still had the same classes, with the same teachers, at the same times, but something felt different about it. I felt like I had more energy. I found myself smiling for no reason quite often, not even worrying about if people would think I looked weird. I felt the urge to participate more in class, surprising not only the other kids but my teacher's as well.

Even Jessica Stanley seemed more warmed to me today, sitting on my other side that Mike usually reserved at our lunch table. I wasn't overly thrilled, something about her just game me an uncomfortable vibe.

"So, who was that guy with you at the movie? Your boyfriend?"

I worked hard to keep my face and voice blank and neutral. "No, just a friend."

"Well, he didn't _look_ like just a friend, not with how close you were sitting. You should have seen him Angela; the guy was _huge_, like a pro wrestler or something. Right Mike? So, is he from the reservation?" For some reason, I felt like if I spoke to her, it would have the same effect as using a mega phone. She was definitely the type to go off singing my words like a bird to whoever would stop and listen. I knew her type, and I didn't want that at all. Instead of shying away though, I gave her a deep, calculating look. What did she get out of the way she acted; did she actually enjoy her life like this?

After a minute, realizing that I wasn't going to answer her, she seemed to fidget uncomfortably before turning back to talk to Mike. I took a small feeling of victory with that uncomfortable look, and enjoyed my meal while chatting to Angela.

"That was impressive," she whispered as we walked to Spanish class. Even if we didn't sit with each other, we were in most of each other's classes. There were only two classes worth of senior students at this school. "I've never seen her falter like that before, it was hard not to laugh."

I gave her a small smile. "Yeah. Something about girls like that just really bother me. I wanted her to know that I wouldn't play a part in her gossip."

She nodded slightly. "If you can look past that though, she can be really nice. She's energetic, and can be friendly if she wants to." I grinned slightly at Angela's attempt to up-talk her. I don't think she was capable of actually not liking someone, and her kindness was inspiring. "You seem different today though. Happier. I like it," she said almost teasingly. I shrugged shyly and slid into my desk.

It was nice knowing that I was doing the same work as everybody else in my class now, and I made it through the day with barely any homework. Even the next day, I was able to finish my last few Calculus problems before work.

I came home Tuesday night to find three men shouting at a baseball game on the TV. Billy was sitting in an arm chair like Charlie, and Jacob was comfortably sprawled out on the couch. I remembered that this was probably very routine for him, and that before I came along they apparently did this all the time.

He straightened up a bit when I walked into the room, but left his arm hung across the back of the couch. As casually as I could, I walked over and sat down next to him on the small couch. "Hey Bells, how was work?" Charlie asked without looking away from the TV.

"It was good, nothing out of the ordinary," I replied. Jacob seemed to forget about the game completely as he asked how school had been, and asked for more details about work. He wanted to know about my classes and teachers, and what I did at my job. The game ended way too quickly as we talked and laughed quietly, and I wasn't ready for him to leave. He brightened my mood though as he asked if I wanted to hang out with him tomorrow. I said yes of course, saying that I could head over after dinner.

He froze when Charlie opened the door, regarding me with a strange look in his eyes. I was standing very close to him, but he gave me time to decide if I wanted to back up as he cautiously leaned towards me. My instinct to run fought strongly against the magnetic pull he had on me, and I didn't move as he gently wrapped his arms around me and gave me a soft hug. The direct contact against his chest did something alarming to my heart, and he pulled away slowly, offered me one of his melting smiles, and waved as he said that he would see me tomorrow.

Charlie closed the door, and I looked up to him giving me a pointed look, a small grin tugging at one corner of his mouth. My face flamed, and I dashed up to my room without saying a word.

**. . . . .**

Billy was home when I arrived at their house, but just waved absently as Jacob led me out to his home-made garage. It looked like he had taken four, mismatched plastic sheds and fused them together, but it was cozy. Even in the winter, without a space heater, he seemed to just warm up the confined space with his body heat alone. His warmth, bright smile and gravitational force that seemed to pull me towards him reminded me oddly of the sun. My own personal sun that was conveniently placed here in my new, small home.

He showed me what he was working on, replacing the break lines on his friend Sam's small car, and I found myself completely engrossed in his obviously favourite hobby. I had never developed much familiarity with tools, for obvious reasons, but he seemed more than willing to take the time and explain what he was doing in detail. I absorbed the new information hungrily, and was happy to try when he asked me if I wanted to remove some of the bolts.

My watch alarm beeped at nine, warning me of the time. He walked me to my car, my nails now caked with black dirt, and gave me another gentle hug as he said goodbye. This time, I slowly wrapped my arms around him, barely able to wrap all the way around his large torso, and have him a gentle hug in return.

**. . . . .**

I quickly became comfortable with my new life in Forks. I was enjoying school now, breaking through my shy and quiet shell a little more each day. I didn't even mind the almost painfully slow pace that was our learning schedule. I got very comfortable at work, enjoying Mike's company more, and even more so the company of his parents. He was now officially dating Jessica again, and it provided a comfortable buffer. I would hang out with Angela and Leah each almost every week. I cooked dinner for Charlie every night that I could, and he seemed elated in my growing happiness.

The most prominent part of it all though was Jacob. We hung out almost every other day. We rotated in between hanging out in his garage, watching TV with Billy, and hanging out on the beach with his friends. He would come over sometimes and just sit with me quietly while I did homework, or Billy and him would come over for dinner and catch a game on TV. I grew ever more comfortable with his warm embraces that grew in strength, almost craving them, and every once in a while we would steal secret moments of holding each others' hands. Seeing and feeling his large hand wrap around my small one always did exciting things to my heart rate. I couldn't help wondering what he got out of this innocent arrangement, but he never asked or hinted that he wanted anything more.

Charlie didn't seem to mind our relationship, if anything it looked like he approved of it. He never minded when he came home to Jacob sitting in the kitchen while I cooked, but he liked to tease me about it after he would leave.

My life felt more like a dream these days. It was a dream that I had shied away from for years, but for some reason it had now become my reality. I was grateful for every moment of it in every day.

**. . . . .**

"Thanks again Jake, you really didn't need to come with me today," I said quietly while we were driving down the highway. He didn't even ask where we were going, sensing my conflicting emotions like only he could. His arm was in its usual space, lying across the back of the bench seat of my truck. Every once in a while I could feel his fingers lightly touch my hair, as softly as if he were trying to caress a soap bubble without popping it.

"I don't mind. Besides, I agree with Charlie. You shouldn't be out in a big town by yourself so late at night. He really didn't mind you staying out this late on a school night?" He asked in a teasing voice.

I chuckled softly. "No, he knows I would never fall behind in my studies."

"Yeah, that would just be downright impossible," he said dramatically. We sat quietly as we passed through Seattle, his eyes constantly shifting between watching me and trying to take in the passing landscape.

Around seven thirty we passed into Newcastle, and he raised an eye brow, curious for the first time since we had left. "This is where you were born, right?" I nodded quietly, and he seemed to concentrate harder on his surroundings. None of it mattered to me. I may have only been gone from here for less than two years, but it hadn't been my home since I was eight. There was only one place of meaning to me in this town, and it was there that I drove.

Jacob remained politely quite as I parked my truck on the side of the road. He held my hand as we walked through the slowly warming air, and helped me hop over the gate without question. His large hands on my waist as he easily lifted my over the three foot wall would have set my heart rate racing on any other day. He stayed close to my side as I led him to the back corner of the cemetery.

I pulled out a small quartz stone from my pocket that I had found on the beach a few days ago with Leah. It was white and lavender, with small flecks of pyrite, and I had thought it was very beautiful. Shortly after my Mom had passed, I had turned to books to try to find some comfort in dealing with death. In one book about Jewish funeral rituals, I had read something about how in older days, they wouldn't bury their loved ones in caskets, but would wrap their bodies in shrouds, placing them in the ground, and covering them in dirt. Then they would place large stones over the grave to prevent animals from harming the remains. Over time, visitors would go back to the grave site, placing more stones on it to ensure the security of the site and as a way to build up the memory of their lost one. Even as time passed by, and the traditions altered, the custom still remained. I took comfort in the idea that I would be 'building up' my mother's memory instead of letting it fade away with time. It was my own small way of letting her know that I remembered her. I knelt down, and placed the small, pretty stone in the line of others that wrapped around her headstone.

"Hey Mom. I wanted to introduce you to my friend Jacob," I said quietly, then stood up slowly. "Jake, this is my Mom."

I wasn't sure what to expect from him. Would he think I was crazy, coming here and talking to the cool night air? But he surprised me as always when he took my hand again, smiling. "It's really nice to finally meet you Mrs. Larose. You have an amazing daughter," he said softly. I leaned into him a little bit, and his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"It's been nine years today," I explained to him in barely more than a whisper. "But I still miss her as much as I did if it had only been days."

He knew that I wasn't the type to go looking for pity or sympathy. We were very similar in that aspect, and I was comforted when he just nodded his head. "I know," he told me, the understanding in his voice very real. He didn't rush me, and stood patiently with me as I stayed trapped in my mind.

"I think I'm ready to go," I said after maybe fifteen minutes. "Could you just give me a minute first?"

"Of course," he told me, and walked over to the wall of the cemetery, close to the truck while he waited for me. I knelt down to the ground, the thin layer of snow soaking into the knees of my jeans.

"Things are better now Mom. It's been weeks since I've had nightmares about Dad or George, or even the accident. And I think it's because of Charlie and Jacob. They're taking really good care of me, but I miss you so much." I couldn't cry, and that feeling made me hurt even more. I just didn't have any tears left for this, no matter how much I missed her. "But I'm trying now, I really am. I know that's what you would have wanted. Sometimes I feel like you guided me to them. Thank you Mom." I listened to the silent night for a few more seconds, then turned and walked back to Jacob. He lifted me over the gate again easily, and offered to drive home.

"You're the first person I've ever brought here," I admitted to him quietly after a few minutes. "I'm sorry if that was really… weird."

His hand stretched out and took mine in his once more. "Don't apologize Isabella. I'm very happy that you let me come with you. _Thank you_." I gave him a small nod, the deep look in his eyes stealing my words from my mind. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to visit while you're here?"

"No. Let's go home."

**. . . . .**

We pulled up into his drive way at half passed eleven, and he hopped out of the door, letting me slide into my driver's seat. I was waiting for his usual hug, but saw an uncharacteristic flash of nervousness in his face. We had been really quiet on the drive home, had I made him uncomfortable? Maybe he was more weirded out by our trip than he had led on before.

"Isabella, I was wondering if we could hang out tomorrow after you're done work? Just the two of us."

It wasn't an unusual request, but the fact that tomorrow was Valentine's day didn't slip my mind. Relieved that I hadn't scared him off, I gave him a shy smile. "Okay."

He pulled me into a tight hug, wishing me goodnight and telling me that he would be waiting for me at Charlie's when I got home from work. I tried to hide my enormous smile as he watched me drive away.

**. . . . .**

I woke up early in the morning to say goodbye to Charlie, and let him know that I had plans after work tonight. I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so I took my time in the shower, and spent more time than necessary blow drying and combing my hair. I wouldn't have time to come home and get changed before I went to work; I had told Ben that I would help him with a Biology project, so I picked out my outfit carefully. Nice black dress pants that weren't too fancy, and my favourite dark violet shirt. It was made of this thin, billowy material, that was a little cinched together just below my chest. Simple yet elegant. It didn't have any sleeves though, so I wore a thin white sweater open on top of it, and put on Charlie's necklace.

I went and stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I didn't even own any makeup. I had tried it a few times, but it always irritated my skin, and I always felt ridiculous wearing it, like I was asking for attention. I thought I looked okay, but I felt weird. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I had always just been more comfortable in jeans and a hoodie. I didn't look too over dressed, and when I thought of Jacob, I knew he wouldn't even mind if I showed up in a pair of sweatpants.

I had a big bowl of cereal, made a sandwich for lunch, and grabbed a few pieces of fruit and some granola bars to hold me over for the day. After packing my bag, and cleaning out and repacking my purse, I decided to just go to school a little early.

It was looking to be a gorgeous day, tiny little cotton ball clouds dotted the sky, but aside from them it was a clear blue. When I parked in the empty parking lot, I relaxed against the hood of my truck while enjoying the rare feeling of bright sunlight on my face. There were birds singing in the near forest, the ground was dry, and it was finally starting to feel warm out again. I would be glad if these were the signs of an early spring. Eventually the parking lot started to fill in, and I begrudgingly went inside to my Calculus class.

**. . . . .**

The day went by excruciatingly slowly.

I felt like my teachers were talking in slow motion at some points, and spent most of my class time staring out the windows at the beautiful weather outside. I could see that I wasn't the only one by far, and it seemed to be irritating our teachers. Most of them gave up and just assigned homework, which I quickly got out of the way. During lunch and after school, I claimed a wooden picnic table outside in the sun with Angela and Ben while we worked. I stayed with them as long as I could, but I had to leave for work.

I was with Mr. and Mrs. Newton that night, who seemed to be having some sort of date night at work. Mike was out with Jess, and I tried to give the Newton's as much privacy as possible while I stocked and organized shelves, and cleaned floors. I didn't even try to protest when they sent me home an hour early, apparently sporting good stores weren't a popular date location.

I felt bad for pushing my poor truck so hard while I drove home quickly; Jacob's bad habit was rubbing off on me. So I was surprised when I got home at eight, and Jacob's Rabbit was already parked outside our house. I combed my fingers quickly through my hair, and got out of my truck.

"Hey guys," I said suspiciously as I took them in sitting across from each other in Charlie's two arm chairs.

"Hey Bells, you're home early," Charlie said, face completely composed as he was watching the television. I knew immediately that he was trying to hide something.

"Yeah, work was slow so the Newtons sent me home. I thought I might beat you here Jake."

"Yeah, sorry. I just needed to talk to Charlie about something. You ready to go?" If he was trying this hard not to say something, he obviously didn't want to talk about it, so I dropped it.

"Yeah, sure. I'm just going to put my bag in my room first." I ran upstairs, dropping my bag quickly before putting on some more deodorant, and brushing my teeth again.

"You kids have fun," Charlie called, still pointedly not looking in my direction. I shook my head, and followed Jacob out to his car.

I was a little surprised when he passed his house and drove right up to the small gravel parking lot by the beach. I slid out of the car, and waited for him while he grabbed something out of his trunk. He came around with a thick blanket and a wicker basket. "I thought maybe we could have a little picnic," he said shyly.

I was having trouble finding my voice, so I just nodded with a smile. He led me down the wooden walkway over the rocky slope, and we walked for maybe fifteen minutes until he decided on a spot on the beach. The sand bank was narrower here, and he laid out the thick blanket close to the tree line. I sat down next to him, and he pulled a small battery-operated lantern out of the basket. After flicking it on, he pulled out a plate of sandwiches, a container of red grapes, and a couple bottles of water, handing me one.

"This is really nice Jake, thank you," I told him thickly, my voice barely a whisper. He managed to hear me though, even over the crashing sounds of the waves, when he smiled and shifted just a little bit closer to me.

It was very romantic, the sky had stayed clear, and with little light pollution on the reservation the stars looked amazing. There was no moon in the sky, but the un-obtrusive, dim light of the lantern provided the perfect amount of light. After sliding a little closer to Jacob, the cool night air didn't bother me so much. We were only inches away from each other, his hand on top of mine between us.

His questions were different tonight. He wanted to know what I wanted to do later in my life. If I would be going away to college in the fall, what I wanted to do as a career, where I saw myself living in the future. I knew that he wanted to stay in his home, his dream was to open his own garage, and I didn't think anything was wrong with that.

"I was thinking of trying to go to school close by, and maybe becoming a teacher. Before I came here, I didn't really have any motives pulling me in a certain direction. But here… Forks has become my home. Charlie is my family, and I don't think I want to go too far." I couldn't say it out loud, but I tried to tell him with my eyes. _I don't want to leave you._

Jacob had become my motivation to being happy, which seemed so much more than just _living_ now. Somehow, this man had gotten inside my heart, my soul, and completely changed the way I was in so many different ways. I didn't ever want to leave his side.

_Very slowly_, Jacob sat up a little straighter, facing me directly. I sat completely still as his hands lifted up to my head, and held my face in between his large, warm palms _so_ gently. He stared deeply into my eyes for a long minute, letting me decide if I wanted to move away. My heart was racing rapidly, but I didn't move. I closed my eyes as he leaned into me slowly, softly placing his lips against mine.

The world seemed to shift beneath me, as a warm, glowing feeling spread throughout my body. The feeling seemed to melt through every cell in my body, tying me to the man in front of me.

Time had stood still, that kiss could have lasted minutes or hours, seconds or days. It could have been years, and still wouldn't have been long enough. My eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, taking in his beautiful face still only inches away from mine.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he whispered, a proud fervor in his voice that made me dizzy. "Was that okay?"

I knew he was asking about more than his kissing abilities. I put my hands on top of his, which were still holding my face, and nodded happily.

"Will you be my girlfriend Isabella? If you say yes, I swear that there will be nothing in this universe that will be able to break me away from you."

Naively, I believed his every word. "Of course I will Jacob."

His breath-taking smile stopped my heart, and he leaned forward and kissed me again.

**. . . . .**

"It's really not a big deal Bells. It's just a bonfire, you can wear whatever," Jacob said. He was leaning against my door frame while I dug through my dresser drawers looking for a shirt. "Well, maybe something warm would be better." He amended. He had never seen my room before, and this was in direct violation of Charlie's rules.

He had been in on the whole plan, because Jacob has asked his permission before asking me to be his girlfriend. He had waited up for me to come home Tuesday night, and laid down some ground rules. No hanging out in my bedroom, no sleep overs, and no lies. I agreed with them happily, just pleased that he didn't seem to mind.

He had gotten called in to work tonight though, so Jacob was dancing on the threshold of my bedroom while I got ready. He had invited me to a Sunday bonfire on the reservation. I accepted his advice, and went over to the bathroom and changed into a warm flannel shirt. As I was putting my hair up in a ponytail, the permanent new accessory that I wore on my wrist caught my eye, making me smile. Before Jacob had dropped me off that night, the night he had asked me to be his girlfriend, he had pulled the small woven bracelet out of his front coat pocket, saying that it was a valentine's present. It was hand-woven, made with the same colours as his russet skin and brown eyes, mixed with a pale cream color and a light rose. Us. I accepted it gratefully, and was the one to hug him tightly before I left his car.

When I came back, he was more inside of my room, inspecting my few meager belongings. "So, you're a bit of a minimalist I see," he pointed out curiously. I just shrugged.

"Never been much of a packrat. Makes life easier when you move around a lot."

"Well, you're not moving any more. I think I'm going to buy you a poster or something," he said absently, making me laugh.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	6. Chapter Six: Secrets

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Six :: Secrets**

**Isabella**

We parked at his house, and he grabbed the same blanket out of the trunk that we had used on Tuesday night. I told him I wanted to take it slow, this was still difficult for me, and he was very chivalrous about it. We hadn't kissed since then, but I could still feel his lips on mine when I thought about it.

The fire was much smaller than the last time, as Jacob had promised, and there was a ring of people sitting around it on blankets and lawn chairs. They were chatting happily amongst themselves, passing around bags of hot dogs, marshmallows, sticks and bags of chips. Jacob laid out the blanket in the one opening in the circle, and gestured for me to sit down. Once next to me, he comfortably threw and arm around my shoulders, holding me gently to his side.

I recognized most of the faces, and Jacob introduced the ones that I didn't. We were sitting next to Billy, who seemed to be the orientated head of the circle. On his other side sat Harry, Sue, Leah and Seth. I was introduced to Old Quil, Quil's grandfather. Quil was by his side, joined by Embry, Sam, Emily, and another man named Paul.

"So do you all get together and do this often?" I asked Jacob quietly after we said hello to everyone.

"Yeah, every couple of weeks or so. See, we're all the immediate descendants of the tribe leaders, a sort of council. We like to all get together every once in a while, and whenever someone new comes into our group Billy tells the legends." I felt like I was intruding on something very private, making myself uneasy, but it was hard feeling uncomfortable while tucked into Jacob's side. "Would you like to hear them?"

Entranced by the deep, intriguing tone his voice had taken on, I just nodded. Simultaneously, like they had all been waiting for my reply, everyone seemed to quiet down, and Billy started to speak.

I was completely enthralled by Billy's tale. He spoke of blood magic, spirit fighters and battles with forces too great to be fought by human means. The fight between the last descendants of the spirit warriors, a clash between a want for peace and greed for power.

As Billy spoke in his deep, powerful voice, I noted again that it had that mysterious, almost magical air to it. It breathed life into his story, and as I watched the faces of the people surrounding me while Billy told us that the spirit warriors bonded with the wolves, taking their forms to protect their tribe from monsters and Cold Ones, I could believe that they were the descendants of these magical beings.

Their last enemies were the cold beings, red-eyed and made of stone, who fed off of the blood of humans and always traveled either alone or in pairs. Only when they grew near would their magic awaken. The descended protectors would transform into the wolf spirit warriors of legend, and destroy the monsters.

I had known that there was a secret in this tribe. The odd moments when Jacob or Leah would get caught in a lie, the vague answers about their lives and the feeling that they were hiding something from me. Their odd body heat, above normal growth, appetite and Jacob's intense strength. Those pieces all still floated in my mind, wanting answers. So when Billy said that his grandfather Ephraim Black had come across an unusual sized group of the monsters, ones with yellow eyes that didn't eat humans, I didn't believe that he was lying.

Shortly after he was finished, the others broke out into their quiet conversations again. I was trapped in my own mind, trying to convince myself that I was being crazy. Jacob shifted beside me, and I realized that I had been quiet for a long time. I looked up at him, and as he searched my eyes for something, I knew I wasn't crazy. He asked me if I wanted to go home, and I nodded. It wasn't that I wanted to leave, I just wanted to talk to him alone.

**. . . . .**

I had trouble choosing words as he drove me home quietly. His tension was almost tangible in the air, adding more substance to my belief.

"So, those stories were pretty crazy right? I hope they didn't scare you."

"Hah, you're the one that jumps during ghost movies, not me Jake." He laughed, seeming to relax a little. I took a deep breath, and looked him directly in the eyes. "_Are_ they stories Jacob?" I asked evenly.

He didn't look away. "What do you mean?"

"They're real."

It wasn't a question, but he answered anyways. "Yes, they are."

He wasn't hiding from me, and I could tell from his face that he was done keeping secrets. I knew he would answer anything I asked, so I didn't hold back. "How much of it is true?"

"All of it, as far as I know." He turned off the key in the ignition.

"So, you can all transform into wolves?"

"Not all of us, but some of us. And we're a little different than regular wolves." There was more there, but I decided to get back to it later.

"And you do this to fight these Cold Ones. Vampires?" He seemed surprised with how much I had caught on. "Blood drinking dead people, I connected the dots."

"Yeah, that's about the gist of it."

"But if you only transform when they're around, does that mean that there are some here? Now?"

"No no," he reassured me. "Not anymore, but there were. The same ones that my great grandfather had met. We made a treaty with them, and left them alone as long as they kept to their promise of not harming humans and stayed off of our land."

I nodded, taking a moment to absorb the new information. Shape shifters and vampires, interesting. Jacob's face seemed pained, worried, and I was automatically concerned.

"Are you okay Jacob?"

He was very serious. "Isabella, I just told you that I can turn into a wolf. Are _you_ okay?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm fine Jacob. I knew that you've been hiding something from me for a while. It's nice to know what all the secrecy was about."

"I'm sorry Bells, I didn't want to-" I quieted him with hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay Jake, I understand why." I tried to relax the dent in between his eye brows with a finger. "But you didn't answer my question. Are you okay?" He was keeping an unusual distance between us.

"I'm just afraid of scaring you away. I don't want to lose you." His voice was thick with emotion, and it pulled at my heart. I leaned forward, on my knees in my seat to better reach him, and put both of my hands on his wide shoulders.

"Jacob, I know you would never hurt me. I'm not scared of you." I could see that he didn't quite believe me, and I couldn't stop myself from leaning in further over the center console and kissing him.

That warm, glowing feeling spread into me again, but I hadn't been as gentle as Jacob had. The warmth turned into a burning, and I didn't want to pull away yet. I wanted him to know that I wasn't lying, I wasn't afraid of him, and I wouldn't leave him. I felt something change in him though. His hot hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me over the center console and pulling me onto his lap easily. His arms were tight around me and his lips became more urgent. I couldn't breathe, and he didn't seem to even feel my hands trying to push him away. I ripped my head to the side, breaking the heated kiss.

"Jake, please. Stop." I said, trying to catch my breath. His hands released me immediately, and they floated in the air while he sat there, completely shocked by his reaction.

"God, Isabella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I don't know what came over me. You know I would never-"

"Jake, it's okay. I'm okay. It was just a little… too fast for me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you into anything, please believe that." His arms relaxed, and I was still pretty much sitting on his lap. It wasn't hard to put a reassuring hand on his arm.

"I do."

Charlie flickered the front porch light, signalling his impatience. Jacob opened his door, half-carrying me as he set me on the ground outside.

"I still have more questions for you," I told him seriously. "Can I come see you tomorrow?"

"Of course." I waved good bye, and ran up the drive as I saw Charlie disappear from behind the curtain.

**. . . . .**

Charlie drove over with me, deciding to hang out with Billy the same night. I was somewhere else completely while we drove, my mind trying to convince itself that yesterday had all been a dream. My imagination wouldn't have been able to so strongly sear the memory of Jacob's hot hands tightly gripping my waist though. The way he held me and the fierceness of his lips. It had been terrifying , but it had also been thrilling; seeing his almost desperate hunger for me in the uninhibited actions of his body. I still didn't fell ready for that level of intimacy and passion, but there was a part of me that craved more…

"Earth to Bells? You okay kiddo?" My head snapped up, realizing that we were parked in Billy's driveway, engine already off. He was watching me with a concerned expression. "If you're not feeling well we can go back."

"No, that's okay. I'm fine, really." I opened up my door, and he dashed over to my side to keep up as I walked to their front door.

"Hey Billy," Charlie called as we walked inside. Billy was close by in the kitchen, and rolled around the corner at the sound of his voice.

"Hey guys. TV's on. Jacob had to go check something Isabella," Billy said in _that_ tone. "He should be back soon though." I was in on this secret now that Charlie probably had no idea about, and I made sure not to let my face betray anything. A jolt of nervous excitement and anticipation shot through me, and I decided to trust my gut.

"Okay. I'm just going to sit outside for a bit while I wait. It's kind of hot in here."

Charlie didn't think anything of it, but Billy shot me a curious look. He gave me a slight nod, deciding not to stop me. I went back outside, clutching my coat closer to myself to fight the sharp chill, and walked around to the back of Jacob's shed. I was completely blocked out of view from the house, the drive way and the street as I leaned against the shed and waited.

I stood there for maybe ten minutes, concentrating on the still quietness that surrounded me. The only sounds where the periodic swish of the wind blowing through the trees. Then, very faintly, I heard a dry twig snap in the woods. My head snapped in the direction of the sound, but it was too dark to see anything. I had a knowing feeling though; the almost gravitational pull that grew stronger between us everyday was there.

"Jacob, is that you?" I whispered. Nothing. "Please, you don't need to hide. I won't run away, I swear." After a minute, I was starting to worry that I was being crazy, talking to a squirrel or something that wasn't even there anymore. But seconds before I was about to turn around and go inside, I saw him, and I stood frozen in awe.

I saw immediately what he meant when he told me that he was "a little different than a regular wolf." He stood over eight feet high, closer to the size of a large horse than the wolves I had seen at the zoo when I was a child. He was heavily muscled and his paws were bigger than dinner plates. His fur was the same russet color of his skin, with hints of red and darker brown, and even from this distance, I could see that his eyes were still the same warm, dark brown. He had stopped just past the line of the trees, almost five meters away from me and watched me carefully.

"Jake?" I knew it was him, but I had to be sure. He gave one slow nod of his head before taking one large, hesitant step forward, unsure. I had no control of my legs as they pulled me forward. I could see fear in his eyes, but I had none, and was grateful that he didn't run away. I felt like he was thinking of it. I stopped when I was only two feet away, looking up at his tall frame. Hesitantly I raised my arm halfway to his face.

"May I?" I asked politely, and he slowly lowered his head to meet my hand.

I ran my fingers through the think fur on his neck, marveling at the feel. It was so silky, and he was just as warm as my usual Jacob. He made a soft grumbling noise deep in his throat that reminded me of a purr. I smiled, but it was a couple of minutes before I could speak.

"It's so soft," I told him curiously. He gave me a goofy grin, his tongue slightly lolling out of his mouth, making me laugh.

"You know, I've always wanted a dog," I told him whimsically. He answered by licking the side of my face, from jaw to temple, with his giant, wet tongue. "Eww! Jake, gross," I mumbled, swinging my arm to smack him playfully. He easily danced out of my reach, giving me a happy bark, and dashed back into the trees.

I waited patiently as he came back out a minute later, wearing a pair of jeans and pulling a black t-shirt over his head. The partial view of his sculpted stomach did something funny to my breathing. He walked over to me, a curious smile on his face.

"Wow Bells, you're pretty good with weird," he told me, reaching out for my hand.

"Thank you, for showing me. I think it makes it a little easier to wrap my mind around, seeing with my own eyes."

"I'm just glad you didn't run away." He leaned down, and gave me a gentle peck on the lips. After he pulled away, he could see the burning curiosity in my eyes. "Shall we go sit in my garage?" I nodded, and he led me over by the hand.

**. . . . .**

"So, when did it happen?" We were sitting on the floor on some old chair cushions, our knees touching each other as we faced each other cross-legged. Our hands were holding each other's and resting on our legs between us.

"About a year ago, not long after my sixteenth birthday. I had been out late with Embry and Quil, and when I got home, my Dad was pissed. I just got really angry all of a sudden and kind of… exploded."

The way he described it was alarming. But I was glad that he seemed comfortable telling me about it, giving me details. "Did it hurt?" I asked, worried.

"No, not at all. Your body just goes kind of fuzzy and numb… then all of your clothes are ripped to shreds and you're covered in fur." He offered me an easy smile, and I laughed.

"And the others?"

"It happened to Sam first, he's a few years older than me. He was all alone when it happened, had no idea what was going on. It took him days to be able to calm down enough to shift back, and when Harry felt how hot he was, he figured out what had happened. It happened to me next, so I was really lucky to have Sam there in my mind to help me out."

"What do you mean by "In your mind?""

"Oh, well… when we're in our wolf form, it's like all of our minds are connected. We can hear each and every thought of everyone else that's phased at the same time. It sucks sometimes, there's no privacy while you're like that, but it comes in handy if you're trying to coordinate during a fight."

"Wow. That can't be easy, trying to work and make decisions with different people in your head."

"It's not too bad. That's why the packs always have an alpha, a leader, to make the important decisions. Technically, the Alpha is also the Chief of the tribe."

"So, is Billy the Alpha?" He was obviously a leader of the tribe.

"No, Billy never phased, even though I think he wishes he did. He is the Chief of our tribe though."

"Who's the Alpha then?" I asked curiously. He fidgeted slightly under my gaze, and I worried that I might have been being rude.

"I'm the Alpha of the pack." He said it quietly, but there was obvious power and pride in his tone. I didn't find it surprising, I could easily see him as a leader. "Sam was stronger than me when I phased. But I grew even more quickly than he did, and he asked me to take the position. It's in my blood. My father is the chief of our tribe, and the son of the chief before him. My great grandfather was the alpha of the last pack."

"Wow. Chief Jacob," I whispered to myself, testing the words out loud. It made him laugh.

"So, Sam is still my second in command, though I treat all of my pack as equals. I hate using that power over them unless I absolutely have to."

I nodded in understanding, Jacob wasn't the controlling type. "The others?" I asked, wanting him to continue.

"This is the biggest pack that there has been since the beginning; there are seven of us in total. Paul phased after me, them Embry and Quil. Seth and Leah joined last, just a couple months before you arrived. Harry had a bad heart attack, and we didn't think he was going to make it. It triggered Leah, then later the same night Seth phased too."

"But Harry was okay after?" I had seen him with my own eyes the other day, but I hadn't really taken in his appearance closely.

"Yeah, well I told you how there had been a coven of vampires here before?"

"Yeah, the ones with the yellow eyes, right?"

"Right. Well, two of them are actually Doctors. He had just been close by coincidentally, Harry was out fishing with Charlie. I guess he heard it just before it happened, and was there to help him. If it wasn't for him, I don't think he would have survived." I could hear the conflict of emotions in his voice; his hatred for his enemies warring with the fact that they saved someone he cared about.

"The vampires were Doctor's? But don't they…"

"Yeah, scary right? These ones were different though, they fed on animals instead of humans, and they said that was why their eyes were that weird yellow color. It was the only thing that kept us from destroying them, but they still aren't allowed on our land."

It was so strange, and so interesting. I was living in the middle of a fairy tale. I realized I had missed a very important question; it didn't really matter how I felt about this. "Do you like it Jacob? Are you happy?"

He smiled warmly. "It was scary at first, and I was really angry. But it got better when I was able to talk to my friends. This is still a secret, even on the reservation."

"I swear, I would never tell a soul Jacob," I told him fiercely.

"I know you wouldn't Isabella, I trust you completely." My face warmed, and he squeezed my hand. "After Embry and Quil were with me, it became much more enjoyable. There really are a lot of cool perks."

"Like what?"

"Well, we grow really fast."

"Yeah, I noticed that. I thought at first that the government might have been putting steroids in the water here."

He laughed loudly. "Yeah, I guess it might look pretty odd. But we're also really strong. We have stronger hearing and better vision than humans, and it's even stronger when we're in our wolf forms. And then there's the speed. It's amazing Bells, there's no feeling more liberating than running like that, flying through the forest like a bullet, feeling the dirt and leaves crumble under your paws."

"It sounds amazing," I breathed. "Do you think that's something I could see sometime?"

"Sure, I'd love to take you for a ride." His face flushed red, a very beautiful sight on his dark skin. "I mean, for a run. Not-"

I laughed so hard that it hurt my chest. "Yeah Jake, I know what you meant." He relaxed, but still had a faint glow in his face.

"We also... don't age."

That got my attention. "Seriously?" He nodded. "But you've all... grown so quickly. I mean, I'm only like three months older than you... and you kind of look like you're in your mid-twenties." It didn't make any sense to me.

"Well... There's something like a time line with it. When the vamps get near, you start growing until your body is mature enough to do the change. Then you grow really quickly until you're as strong as you can be, really. Then you stop. That's why I look so old, but I stopped growing a few months ago. That's what we think really, we've talked about it a lot. We don't really have any scientists to go to, to figure out all the specifics."

"Wow." It was a lot to take in, but it made sense. Well, as much as this all could make sense, anyways. "So... you're going to stay this was for ever?"

"Oh no, once we stop phasing for long enough we're supposed to start aging again. I kinda enjoy it though... so I'm not really in a rush to stop at the moment. I want to protect my tribe, and all the people I care about." He looked deeply into my eyes, and I felt my cheeks blush. He seemed to think of something though, and his face turned a little worried. "Does that bother you? That I might look this way for a while? Maybe even more than ten years?"

I looked at him in surprise, than laughed. "Jake, I can think of many worse things than having a hot, younger looking boyfriend when I'm thirty." My face flushed at my insinuation, that we would be together that long, but I just couldn't see myself without him. He seemed completely thrilled about my words though, and I relaxed again.

"You're amazing Isabella. Are you sure this isn't freaking you out too much?"

I slid a hand up his arm, loving the smooth feeling of his skin under my hand. "No Jake. It's crazy, but it's not scary."

He leaned in to kiss me again, but stopped half way. "Charlie's ready to leave, he's saying good bye to my Dad now."

"You can hear them? In the house?" He nodded, and I was instantly chagrined. Every time I had murmured secret words to myself under my breath, even talking to my Mom, I bet he had heard all of those moments then too. The fact that he had never brought them up though calmed me. I guess none of it was enough to scare him away. "Okay, well I better go before he comes out here." I stood up a little too quickly, my legs half asleep from being stationary for so long, the blood rushing to my head making me dizzy, and stumbled slightly towards him. He caught me easily, and held me like that for a moment. He slid one of his arms around my waist, lifting me up off of the floor, and kissed me full on the mouth. It only lasted a few seconds, but the result had left me even more light headed than before. I was gripping tightly onto his arms when he set me down, and something in my face made him laugh.

"I'll see you again soon?" He asked with a sly smile.

"Definitely."

**. . . . .**

I felt so much closer to Jacob after I learned about his secret. He had felt so horrible about the way he had had to bend the truth around me before, sometimes having to give me an outright lie. But I was completely sincere when I reassured him that I really understood why, and didn't begrudge him in the slightest for doing so. Just the fact that he trusted me with it now amazed me and drew me in.

It was just so hard to see him during the week though. This was the last half of senior year, and even though the materials weren't very challenging, they were still tedious and time consuming. So between my homework assignments, classes, which included the daily minor injuries of gym class and trying to navigate hallways, and my part time job, I was just so exhausted all of the time. He was able to stop by for dinners on Fridays with his father, and hung out for a bit while I did homework, but aside from that I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted to. I craved his company, and the longer we were apart the more I began to doubt myself.

Sunday would be our day though. My one day of the week with no classes or work. I made sure to finish all of my homework before work on Saturday, so I would have absolutely no other obligations besides him.

He was coming over to pick me up at ten. We would get to just spend the day together hanging out, and Charlie was going to come over later in the afternoon.

So I completely panicked when I woke up, and it was already after eight o'clock. I had had unpleasant dreams, more like watching my memories on replay, again and again, and had woken up a dozen times during the night. My head was fuzzy, and I had a bit of a headache, but I made myself quickly get out of bed and ran into the shower. I was slowed by my knee banging painfully into a cabinet door Charlie had left open, and I cursed under my breath. That would bruise.

The hot running water made me feel better, and I stayed in its soothing presence for longer than I should have. I only half dried my hair, deciding to just put it in a braid, giving myself more time to make my bed and pick out an outfit. I felt really chilly, so I chose a warm pair of faded jeans, and a fitted black blouse that was made of a softer, thick type of material. After putting on a pair of small silver hoop earrings, I took a quick minute to inspect myself while I dashed back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

My hair looked darker than usual, still partially wet, and my face seemed a little paler than normal. But I had an almost glowing, pink flush to my cheeks, and the overall effect made my eyes look big and vibrant. Satisfied under the circumstances, I grabbed my purse and headed down stairs.

"Wow Bells, you look really pretty today," Charlie said, embarrassing himself.

"Thanks Charlie. You don't look so bad yourself," I said with a smirk. I grabbed an apple and sat down at the table with him. Fifteen minutes to spare.

"You still hanging out with Jake this morning?" The apple tasted horrible with the leftover flavor of toothpaste in my mouth. I didn't feel very hungry anymore.

"Yeah, he should be over soon. You'll still be coming later right?"

"Mhmm, I'll be over around four, so you can get a lift home with me." He flipped the page of his newspaper. I thanked him again, and minutes later Jake rang the doorbell.

"Well, I'll see you later then Charlie." I waved, and went over to open the door. He was leaning on the door frame, his gorgeous smile lighting up his face. "Hey Jake," I said, not bothering to hide my smile.

"Hey. Wow. You look gorgeous Belle." I froze at the name, my heart clenching painfully. He noticed my reaction immediately, face turning to panic. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out. I mean your name sounds a little long, and I didn't think Bells sounded pretty enough to suit you, but Belle means pretty in French, you know? And it was just kind of there-"

"It's okay Jake, it just surprised me. No one's called me that in a long time. But I don't mind, really." I tried to offer him a reassuring smile, but the wound still felt exposed. He placed a hand gently on my upper arm, rubbing it comfortingly.

"Who?" I didn't need anything more to understand what he was referring to. He was probably the only person I would ever feel comfortable talking to about it either.

"My Mom. She always called me that. I even dressed up as the princess one Halloween to placate her." The memory made the corner of my lip pull up slightly.

He pulled me into a gentle embrace. I felt so small, so safe in his arms. "Are you sure you don't mind?" He whispered into my hair.

"No, I'm sure. It was nice, hearing it again." I pulled away to grab my jacket and purse so we could leave.

"See you later Charlie!" Jacob called into the house.

"Hey Jacob," Charlie called back in reply, and we walked down to his car. I smiled when he opened my door for me.

"So what do you want to do first?" He asked as I slid in, closing his door.

"Well, who's going to be over later, will it just be the four of us?"

"Well, if you're up for it, Leah wanted to see you too, and Embry and Quil have been asking to meet you again. Billy was planning on making a giant pot of spaghetti, though I guarantee you it won't be very edible. Maybe we should go out for lunch first."

"How about I cook? We can take a little trip to the grocery store before we head over to the Rez."

"Are you sure? That's a lot of people to cook for, and Embry and Quil have just as much of an appetite as I do."

"No, I'd like to. Besides, I just got paid the other day." I had been doing really well with saving my money. I never really bought anything except for gas.

"No, that's where I'm going to draw the line. If you're going to cook, then I'm going to pay," he said with a grin, and I conceited.

We stopped at the grocery store, picking up enough ground beef to feed a small village, a couple heads of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, a bunch of cheese, and a couple containers of sour cream, salsa, and boxes of taco shells. Jacob said he could handle any "leftovers," saying the word like it was a ridiculous concept , when I asked if we were getting too much.

**. . . . .**

He wouldn't let me carry a thing as we went into his house, and I was relieved as I had felt a little dizzy again after our short trip in the store. We unloaded all of our supplies, and Jacob was very determined to help me prepare it. We decided to get all of the prep out of the way, so we wouldn't have to later. I cut vegetables, while Jacob grated a giant mountain of cheese. It didn't take very long. We wrapped all of the dishes up in saran wrap, and managed to cram them all into the fridge.

My hands were trembling slightly as I tried to wash the smell of onions off of them. It had gotten chilly again, goose bumps forming on my arms, and I mentally hoped that I wasn't coming down with something.

"You feeling okay?" Jake asked, handing me a dish towel.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit of a headache." I looked at the time, only eleven thirty.

"How about we go sit down for a bit? Watch some TV?" He offered. I was happy to sit down for a little while.

"Where's Billy?" I asked curiously. He hasn't said hello when we came in earlier.

"Over at Harry's. He'll be home in a couple of hours," he said, settling down on the couch beside me. My body made a violent shiver. "Are you sure you're okay Belle?"

"Oh yeah, I think someone just walked over my grave."

"Uhm, what?"

"You've never heard that expression before?" He shook his head, smiling. "It's an old wives tale used to explain a random shudder. They thought that the sensation might be caused by someone in the future walking over the place where they would eventually be buried."

"So, you're not cold?"

I hesitated slightly. "Well, maybe a little," I admitted. It did feel like someone had left a window open.

"Well, you have your own personal space heater right here," he said, raising up his arms and wiggling his eye brows at me. It was very cute, and I kind of giggled before I slid in under his arm. He found a movie on TV, a sequel to another movie I had never seen, and started to explain the first one to me. After a couple minutes, I leaned more into his side, resting my head on his chest. He was just so warm. His deep voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke, and I decided it wouldn't hurt to close my eyes just for a minute…

**. . . . .**

"Belle? Isabella? Hey, wake up." Jacob's voice was gentle, but I had forgotten where I was and panicked slightly. My heart was racing, pulse thudding in my ears. My face felt damp, and I realised that I had started crying in my sleep. I swiped furiously at them. This was against the rules, and how dare they betray me in front of Jacob. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." I was completely embarrassed. It was only one; at least I hadn't been out for too long.

"Don't apologize, I really don't mind. It was cute. I wouldn't have woken you up, but… It seemed like you were having a bad dream."

"Thanks." I leaned back into his side, wanting to draw comfort from his proximity.

"Who's George?" Hearing his name aloud sent a shock through me, and I looked up at Jacob. His face was very close. "You talk in your sleep," he explained, a small smile on his face.

My face would have flushed red in embarrassment if my reaction to his question hadn't had me frozen on the inside and out. I didn't think I could tell him, I didn't know how. What would he say, how would he feel about something like that, how would it make him feel about me? I didn't think I could survive his rejection. He had trusted me with his secrets though, and I wanted to do the same with him; maybe it was only fair. I wanted to tell him everything, too. I didn't want to hide from him, I didn't want him to think I didn't trust him.

His eyes seemed to look into my soul as I fought on the inside. They were so full of kindness, understanding, and love. So much love, I could really see it now. "Belle, I'm not going to force you to talk to me, not if you don't want to. But I want you to know that I would never judge you, or treat you differently because of something in your past." He put a finger under my chin when I went to look away, tilting my face back up towards his. "There is nothing in the world that could change how I feel about you." He said the words so fervently, and I couldn't doubt his deep, intense gaze.

"He was my second Foster… guardian." I told him quietly. He continued to watch me calmly, reassuring me with those beautiful brown eyes that it was okay to continue. So I did. I told him what it was like living in their family, they had pretty much taken me in for a live-in babysitter for their two young girls and a housekeeper. They were very strict people, nothing close to the way Charlie was with me. I told him how George would watch me, and how his wife never even seemed to notice. Then one day, he had told me that he'd gotten me a surprise. It was a new type of laundry detergent, and he stood closely behind me, watching me as I did the load that had been sitting there. His hands had wrapped around my neck when I stood up, refusing to let me move while he kissed me. "He was startled by the sound of his wife pulling into the garage, and I took the chance to punch him in the face. He knocked me to the ground, and his wife found us like that. I tried to tell her what happened, but he told her that I had just randomly attacked him. She didn't believe me."

He had watched me the entire time, and my eyes didn't water as I told him. I had been watching him too, waiting for his reaction, so I saw the urge growing in his eyes. I guess it became too much, because he slid his right arm under my knees, and fluidly pulled me onto his lap. Wrapped in so much of him, for a moment I felt that he was all there was in the world. I drew strength from that, and from the lightening feeling that came from revealing this little part of me to him.

"Thank you for telling me. I know that was very difficult."

"Thank you for letting me," I whispered back.

We shifted slightly after a little while. He didn't let me go, but moved us more to the corner of the couch, keeping me tucked between his arms, my legs dangling across his lap. I laid my head on his chest again, and could hear his strong heartbeat.

"Billy should be home in about an hour. Then Charlie will be over after," he stated after a couple minutes.

"Mhmm. And Leah, Embry, and Quil."

He sighed. "I'd rather just sit here, just like this, for the rest of the night. I don't want to let you go."

"You don't have to for another hour," I said shyly, and he didn't. He let me drift in and out for the next hour and a half before Billy came home, thankfully a little late.

**. . . . .**

Leah had come over with him, and we were joined shortly after by Quil and Embry. We decided to move out into his small back yard before Charlie came over, so we could talk in private. They seemed genuinely happy to have me in the loop, and I remembered what Jacob said about their shared minds. They would have seen that entire conversation in his memories, just like they will with the one we had had this afternoon. They would know everything. It was one thing to open up and tell something to Jacob, but realizing that I was saying it to six other people at the same time made me feel ill.

Dinner was very easy to cook, despite not having a big enough frying pan to cook the meat. Instead I just mixed the meat and spices together in a big steel buffet insert that Billy had in his cupboard. I just had to cook it on slow in the oven, and Jacob took it out every little bit to stir it up. I may have slightly burnt my hand on the element trying to lift it the first time. Everything else was done and self-serve.

It was very cozy, the seven of us packed into Billy's living room with plates on our laps. They all chatted easily while they ate, and I found myself somewhere else while I picked at my food. I felt exposed around them now, and couldn't bring myself to carry much of a conversation. Jacob knew that there was something wrong, but didn't press me while we were with company. I never quite got my energy back either, struggling to keep my eyes open and feeling a small sheen of sweat develop on my face.

"Are you okay Bells?" Charlie asked after a while. My eyes snapped open, and I realized I had drifted off again and was leaning against Jacob. They were both looking at me with a concerned expression, and I decided not to lie. I wanted to go home, and curl up alone in my bed. "You don't look so well."

"I think I'm coming down with a cold or something," I told him quietly.

"Okay, I'm going to take you home then, you should get some sleep." I nodded, and when I stood to get off of the couch, I swayed slightly as the room spun around me. Jacob put a steady hand on the small of my back, but I reassured him that I was fine and left with Charlie.

**. . . . .**

I woke up again at one in the morning, and it felt disgustingly hot under my blankets. A cold shower would have been nice, but there was no way I would risk waking up Charlie this early. So I kicked off my blankets, and opened my window. The cold night air was instantly soothing, and I pulled my desk chair over, sitting down in front of it. I rested my head on my folded arms against the window sill, drifting off again after a few minutes.

**. . . . .**

"Bells! Psst. Hey, Belle, wake up." It was a very quiet sound, someone whispering from far away. A violent shiver wracked my body, waking me up completely. I looked down at the lawn outside of my window, and Jacob was staring up at me, standing on my lawn in bare feet, jeans and a faded t-shirt.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" My voice still sounded drowsy, and I wrapped my arms tightly around myself to still my shivers.

"I was worried about you, I needed to make sure you were okay. Back up for a second, we're going to wake up Charlie."

Curious, but not wanting to call down to him again now that he had mentioned Charlie, I obliged and backed away from my window. Maybe he had a grappling hook stashed in the bushes or something. I watched in amazement as he backed up, took a running leap at the tree beside my window, pulled himself up easily, and gracefully hopped off the branch, grabbing onto my windowsill and pulling himself inside.

I just stared at him with wide eyes for a minute.

"Pretty cool huh? You should see me on monkey bars," he said with an easy smile. He saw me shiver again, and thankfully closed the window before he walked over. "Are you okay Belle? Are you feeling any better?" He whispered.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I whispered back, and sat down on my bed heavily. He stood in front of me for a moment, not sure what to do, and I just patted for him to sit next to me.

"Liar." He accused, but he studied my face for a bit. "You're sick. You're heart beat sounds different, I can hear it." The strange words made me look up. I knew, but it was still strange to hear out loud. "But there's something else wrong, I can see it. Please, talk to me Belle."

I did want to talk to him. I didn't know what else to do, and I couldn't just leave him. I don't think I could ever leave him. "They'll know everything." I whispered, not being able to look at him. "I feel like when I'm with you now, even when we're completely alone, that we're sitting in a room full of watching people."

He didn't seem to need any more explanation, he was much more used to this that I was after all. "I'm sorry. You know I would never tell anyone if I could help it, but I won't lie to you. None of us like it, having all of our secrets opened for the pack to see. But I can promise you this; no one is going to judge you, no one is going to ask questions, and none of them will treat you any differently. They respect our privacy as much as they can. You're part of our family now, and they love you just as much as I do."

I looked up in surprise at his words. I had seen the look of it in his eyes, but he had never said the words aloud before. It moved something inside of me, and my perspective shifted slightly. If Jacob Black loved me, then maybe I could deal with the rest.

I thought that in the sidelines of my mind though, the larger part of my conscious was panicking as it tried to figure out what to do. He said he loved me, and I needed to say something back. I knew that deep down, I loved him too. That could be the only name for the force that drew us together, my constant craving to be near him and make him smile, but the words stuck in my throat. I opened my mouth to speak, but he quieted me with one large finger against my lips. He didn't look embarrassed by his revelation at all, but it seemed to make him even stronger. "Isabella, I don't need a reply to that. Don't say anything that you're not ready for. But I want you to know that I meant it, in every way possible."

His finger slid away from my mouth as I nodded my head, and he relaxed with a small smile.

"I'm sorry Jacob," I told him, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be. I'm just glad that you told me. I don't want you to hide, ever." His hand slid onto my arm, and he actually flinched away. "God, you're freezing," he said in a shocked tone. I could tell that he was a little lost, realizing that he was alone on my bed with me in the dark, probably worrying about making me uncomfortable. He slid a little closer.

"I don't want you to catch my cold," I told him sadly. I wanted him to hold me, to be close to him. But I could imagine how horrible I looked right now. At least I hadn't worn my usual sweat pants to bed. It had been too warm, so I was wearing a thin pair of black pyjama bottoms and a white tank top. He reached over and put an arm around me anyways.

"I don't catch colds, but you'd be worth the risk," he whispered into my hair. I relaxed in his embrace. He made me curl up in my blankets, and sat with me until I fell asleep.

**. . . . .**

"No, you're not going to school today. I'm putting my foot down on this one Isabella," Charlie told me with a stern expression, blocking my way out the front door.

"It's really not that bad Charlie," I said in a tired voice. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'll tell you what. If you let me take you to the hospital, and they tell me that you're not sick, I'll let you go to class." The corner of his mouth twitched up when I frowned. He had called my bluff, and he knew it. I took my coat off again, hanging it back up on its usual peg. "That's what I thought. Now, you will stay home today, and you will sleep. No cleaning, no cooking. I don't care if you watch TV, I just want you to rest." His voice had turned soft when I looked away worriedly from his stern tone. "I'm not upset with you Isabella, I'm just worried."

I nodded, and let him give me a half hug before he went off to work. I grabbed my quilt from my bed and curled back up on the couch, falling asleep quickly with the quiet background noise that the TV provided.

**. . . . .**

Waking up to the sound of a faint knock on the door, I looked to the cable box and saw that it was already one. I conceited that maybe Charlie had been right. I got up, took a long stretch, and stumbled sleepily over to the door.

"Oh, hey Jake. Don't you work during the day?" He had been gone when I woke up this morning, finding an extra blanket wrapped around me and a damp facecloth on my forehead. I smiled at the memory. "I thought you worked weekdays."

"I do, but I doubted Charlie would let you go to school today, so I thought I'd come check on you during my lunch break." He gave me an easy smile, and came inside. He had brought me soup along with his own lunch, and we got to sit and eat together for a half hour before he had to go back to the garage.

"I'm sorry again about yesterday," I told him. I hadn't been very good company while I had been over. I felt like I had been rude to the others as well. After we talked though, the idea of them knowing me didn't scare me as much. They had all trusted me with their secrets, and I would try to trust them with mine. He assured me that things would be fine, and that they didn't blame me for being upset.

**. . . . .**

Thankfully I got over my little cold quickly, and over the next few weeks my routine became more comfortable. I didn't get to hang out with Angela as much as I wanted too, she was always busy with homework, projects, Ben, family and working part time at the grocery store, but we sat together every lunch, and I would stay late after school to do homework with them every once in a while.

Sundays remained my Jacob days. I would usually get to see him for little bits of time during the week, sometimes he would come over for dinner with his dad, or just stop by for a couple minutes to say hi to me. I missed him every day. I was determined not to be one of those women who gave up her own identity for a relationship though. As much as I enjoyed his company, and loved spending my free time with him, I didn't want to lose the balance with the other parts of my life that I now enjoyed so much. Studying, reading, work, my friends and Charlie. The time we spent apart though just made those Sundays more enjoyable.

We would usually spend the morning alone, and in the afternoons we would hang out with his pack. Usually at Emily and Sam's house, sometimes at his place, other times at the beach. Emily, who I found out a couple weeks ago was actually Sam's fiancé, had kind of taken on the role of a den mother with the pack. She was always cooking for them and fixing their clothes, and their small cabin was kind of their main hangout. She seemed thrilled with the fact that I enjoyed helping, and I knew it couldn't be easy to keep these boys fed.

**. . . . .**

Jake was leaning against his counter, smiling and playing with a lock of my hair while I stirred a giant pot of chilli on his stove. The longer it cooked, the better it would taste, so I had started it as soon as I came over. He had been trying to distract me the entire time, making me fight him for my peppers, hiding the knives and spoons from me. Things that would usually annoy me, but when he would do them it just made me smile. I sighed, and put down my spoon, leaving the burner to simmer on low and finally turning to face him.

"I like watching you cook," he said in a quiet voice. Billy was watching TV in the next room, and we were trying not to annoy him. Whenever we got too loud during his football games he would kick us out.

"Could have fooled me. I could swear that you were trying to sabotage my chilli," I told him with a smile, sliding closer to him. His answering smile was dazzling. Jacob slid his hands down my arms, then softly placed them on my hips. Those big, warm hands always distracted me, in a very good way.

"I couldn't help myself. You just look so adorable when you're frustrated." I scowled at him, and when I went to smack his chest he caught my hand, pulling me against him while his smile grew.

I placed my free hand on his stomach, and when he let go of my other it did the same. His hand slid up into my hair as he leaned down and kissed me. I got lost in the heat of his kisses, always making my heart beat too loudly and my breathing speed up. I gripped tightly onto his shirt as his lips became more urgent. Tightening his grip on my waist, he easily lifted me off of the floor, sitting me on the counter so he didn't have to lean over so far. My arms snaked up around his neck. It was rare that I ever let it get this… intense, but I didn't want to stop.

He felt the change in me instantly when his hand slid up my thigh, and he stopped automatically. He always just seemed to instinctually know how I felt, and what to do to make it better. He knew me completely, better than anyone in the world.

"Sorry," he whispered, his forehead still pressed against mine. "Too fast?"

"Just a little," I whispered. I hated myself in moments like this; it made me feel like I was leading him on sometimes. I trusted him so completely, but there were just things about myself that I couldn't change, or couldn't control. But no matter what, he seemed to have an endless supply of patience for me.

"Hey, Belle. It's okay. This is enough."

"Are you sure Jacob?"

"Completely." He poked me in the side, making me squeal with laughter. God, I hated being so ticklish.

"Hey!" Billy shouted from the next room, and I covered my mouth. Jake backed up as I slid off of the counter to stir the pot again.

"You know, we don't have to go over to Emily's. We could just stay here, or go to the beach…"

"Nope. I told her I was bringing this. We're not going to bail. Besides, I haven't seen Leah in forever." I poured a bowl of chilli and handed it to Jake. "Go give this to your Dad so he doesn't kick us out again."

**. . . . .**

"Isabella!" Emily said, running over to give me a hug when we walked in. It was like one large room; the kitchen, living room and front foyer all blended in together. Jacob carried the pot over to the stove and set it down. It was kind of sweet how he would always carry things around for me, I probably would have dropped it otherwise.

"Hey Em, it smells delicious in here."

"Thanks, I'm trying out a new cornbread recipe. Paul! You put that lid back on that pot!" She dashed over to the kitchen to chase him away with a wooden spoon, and I followed slowly to turn on the stove. I had turned on the gas, lit the element, and slid the pot over when I felt something tug on the hem of my shirt.

"Well, hey there," I said to the adorable little girl standing beside me. She was looking up at me with the cutest expression, a big smile dimpling her chubby cheeks. She had the same dark skin, black hair and brown eyes that were so common in this town. I couldn't help smiling back at her, and knelt down to her level. "What's your name?"

"Cwaire," she said with the most adorable lisp. It melted my heart. Emily came over and knelt with us.

"I see you've met my niece Claire. Claire, this is Isabella," she introduced. "She's staying with me for the weekend while my sister is out of town for work."

"Well, it's really nice to meet you Claire," I told her happily. She decided to get shy then, and hid behind her Aunt. I laughed lightly, and went to go sit down next to Jacob at her kitchen table. He caught me as I pulled out the seat next to him, pulling me onto his lap and kissing me in front of everyone, making my face flush violently.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself," he chuckled, not sounding sorry in the slightest. I rolled my eyes, but decided not to leave. He didn't seem to mind my weight perched on one of his legs. Leah came and sat next to us, asking about taking a trip to Port Angeles sometime soon.

Then, something very strange happened.

Emily came and sat with us at the table, holding Claire in her lap. She was playing with a pile of cheerios on the table, when Quil came in. He seemed completely fine, but when he walked over to the table and said hello to everyone, something changed drastically. I saw as he looked at Claire, who was staring back at him with a happy smile. His eyes almost glazed over, and he went completely still for a moment before he dropped to his knees. His expression was too intense for words, but tickled something in the back of my mind.

I slid off of Jacob as he got up and ran over to him. He pulled him up, and walked him outside with Embry without saying a word. I took a quick peek at Leah and Emily, Leah looked a little aggravated and Emily was watching her niece with a concerned expression.

"What was that?" I asked them. Neither of them said anything, and I looked over at the couch where Sam, Seth and Paul were sitting together, raising an eyebrow at them. Sam sighed, then met my gaze.

"I can tell you if you want Isabella, but I think Jake would prefer to explain it himself."

I watched him evenly for a moment, making sure to keep my face neutral and control my temper. I didn't need to over-react. They weren't trying to hide anything from me, these people were my family. They were just giving me a choice. I sighed quietly, shooting another look at the door.

"Is Quil going to be okay?"

"Hah, yeah. He'll be fine," Sam said with a chuckle. Emily shot him a dark look.

"Can I speak to you, _privately_," Emily said in a dark tone. Something I had never heard her do before, especially with Sam. His smile disappeared quickly, and they went to their bedroom, closing the door and leaving me with Leah and Claire. Leah had a faint smile on her face, and I couldn't help but also think it was a little funny, in a weird way, seeing Emily pissed off.

"Izzy!" Claire shouted, apparently not afraid of me anymore.

"Who? Me?" I asked in a happy, indulgent voice. She nodded her head, and stretched out her arms for me to pick her up. I didn't see any harm in it, so I lifted her and sat her in my lap. She had cheerios everywhere, stuck to her face, her hands, and tangled in her hair. I started picking them out and setting them on the table while she swung her legs happily.

"So how old are you Claire?" I asked curiously. She seemed delighted to be included in conversation. I never really got the point of baby talk, I don't think it accomplished anything positive. I just kept my voice happy and encouraging.

"This many," she said, holding up two fingers. She was distracted by the cheerios again, and started picking up the ones I was putting down to throw at Leah. She accepted the battle happily, starting to flick them back at Claire, but mostly hitting me. They both seemed to be having so much fun though, and I couldn't find it in my heart to tell them to stop.

Emily came back after a few minutes to break up the fight, and she made Leah pick up the cheerios while she sat back down next to me. Claire was playing with my hair, and I was watching her Aunt curiously.

"You okay?" I didn't bother whispering, we both knew they would all hear us. She nodded, giving me a small, reassuring smile. I wanted to know what was going on; I thought we had gotten past all the secrets, and I felt a little hurt.

It was a little while before the boys came back in. Quil practically ran over to the table, grabbing a seat quickly. He had the most brilliant smile on his face, and his eyes had this lost, dazed look as he watched Claire and Emily.

Jacob was watching me, and I evaluated his expression carefully. There were too many things going on in his eyes, and they were all drowned out by the smile he had for me. I gave him a small smile back, and got up to stir the chilli again.

"How far did you guys go?" I asked him curiously when he returned to my side.

"Not far, we were just in the backyard." He sounded really nervous when he continued. "We can leave, if you want to talk."

I looked up, worried by his tone. It was just so rare to see this sort of behaviour from him. I didn't want to make it worse. "It's okay. Can we talk after dinner maybe?"

"Yeah, of course." His relief relaxed me, and I stretched up onto the tips of my toes to kiss him on the cheek.

**. . . . .**

Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway when we walked back to Jacob's house, so we went and sat in his car. It had more comfortable seats than his shed.

He seemed to be having trouble speaking, so I decided to start. "What happened to Quil today?"

He answered clearly without hesitation. "He imprinted on Claire."

I thought about the curious word for a moment. An imprint could be a mark left by pressure, like a thumb print in clay, or even a stamp. It was also a term used for a publisher's name and address and such on a book or something, but that didn't fit into what he was saying. "What do you mean?"

"It's another thing from our legends. It's what we call finding… I guess you can call them a soul mate. We don't know why it happens, but it does every once in a while." He looked at me, and I asked him with my eyes to continue. "It's like, when you see that person for the first time, the entire universe melts away, and she's the only thing that matters. You just know that she was the reason you were born, everything you could ever want or ever need is tied into her existence."

His words were so beautiful, mesmerizing. "So it's like, a love at first sight sort of thing?"

"Kind of, but it's so much more."

"But Claire's just a baby!" I knew Quil, he was a good guy. What Jacob was saying about him now didn't fit into that now. It sounded wrong.

"It's not like that," he said in a desperate voice. "It's not about sex, or anything physical like that. It's more like something spiritual. Quil would never do anything like that; he would never hurt her or let anyone else hurt her. The imprint, all you want do is make her happy. You'd do anything, be anything, to make that happen. He will be her best friend, her babysitter or her protector, and when she grows up, if she wants something more, that will be her choice. All he wants is to be a part of her life. It's just never happened with someone so young before."

He was begging me with his eyes to understand, and I could tell that this was really important to him. What he had described fit better with what I knew about Quil. He was one of the nicest, sweetest guys I knew. If I could believe in shape shifters and his tales of vampires, I could believe him in this also. I did.

"Okay," I said while nodding. Something else clicked. "Sam and Emily?"

"Yeah." He was watching, waiting for me to say something. Why did he look so stressed? My stomach clenched.

"Has anyone else in your pack… Imprinted?"

One long, silent moment passed. "Yes. I did."

The pain was staggering, and I'm glad that I was already sitting down. Waves of hurt and jealousy crashed against me as I thought of Jacob, _my_ Jacob, holding another woman. Kissing her, touching her… It was too much, and I fought against the stinging in my eyes. "Who was she?"

"What?"

"Who was she? What was she like? What happened to her?" I had to ask, I _needed _to know.

"Isabella." He said it almost like a question, but I couldn't move. Why did this have to hurt so much? He was with me now, after all. What sort of pain must he have gone through though, and never mentioned… He slid a finger under my chin, turning my face so I would look at him. "Belle, you silly girl. It's you. I imprinted on you."

Those words spun in circles in my mind. I remembered the first time I had met Jacob. He had looked at me just like Quil had looked at Claire today, completely frozen, lost, he dropped that plate, Leah said he was sick… Then he came back completely fine, and has pretty much been by my side ever since. But this… He had no control over this.

"Then this isn't real, is it? You didn't choose this. You didn't even know me when you met me, but were just automatically bound by this wolfy magic? How can it be real if it's some sort of spell that is the only thing that makes you like me?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and hated that he wouldn't let me look away from him.

"Imprint or not, I would have fallen for you either way Belle. You're kind, strong, funny, intelligent, brave, beautiful. Every single thing about you draws me in. The bond… I don't see it as a curse, I'm grateful that it just helped me find you sooner. My feelings are _real_, Belle. I swear. _Please_ believe that."

Even if _he_ believed that, there was no way he could know for sure if it was true. But I was selfish. I didn't want to let him go, I couldn't.

"I love you Jacob."

His answering smile was dazzling. "I love you too Isabella."

**Thanks for Reading!**


	7. Chapter Seven: Graduate

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Seven :: Graduate**

**Belle**

"What was this from?" Jacob asked me, lightly tracing over the scar on my ribs with a finger and making me laugh. He knew all of my weak spots.

I was lying next to him on the sandy beach in my two-piece, just drying off from our dip in the water not long ago. I had finally convinced him to take me cliff diving with the others. It had been so exciting, but I hadn't been scared in the slightest as he picked me up in his arms, and held me as we took the thirty-foot drop into the icy water. My girly scream had been nothing but excitement as we fell. Now we were just relaxing on the beach, enjoying the bright sunshine that we had been granted on this beautiful Sunday. Emily and Sam were sitting a few yards away together in the sand, watching Leah and Quil building a sandcastle with Claire. The rest of the guys had taken the hike back to jump again.

"The surgery after I fell down the stairs." He knew that I hadn't actually fallen; he knew every single thing about me. He nodded, and leaned in to kiss the scar, making me burst out in giggles again. The air might have been cool, but I was perfectly warm so close to his exposed skin. He was wearing nothing except for a pair of swimming trunks, and it was really hard not to stare. If anything, it was getting really hot, and I got up to run back into the water. He chased after me, catching up to me easily and throwing me over his shoulder and he ran back into the water, throwing water everywhere. We fell in, and after I caught my breath his mouth crashed down against mine again. It was such an amazing sensation, the icy water, and my bare stomach pressed against his as the palm of his hand rested on my back.

A year ago, there was no amount of money in the world that could have gotten me go out in public wearing a bathing suit, let alone a bikini. But Jacob had changed me so completely; the definition of shyness was lost on me when I was around him. I knew that he loved every single part of me. These moments were the most amazing parts of my life; they didn't make me nervous anymore. I would get lost in them, comfortable knowing Jacob wouldn't take it any further than our heated kisses and gentle caresses. Sometimes not so gentle, but he knew that I loved it when his large hands would wrap around my waist and grip onto me tightly. He could hear my heart stutter whenever it happened. Even in the dark, he could see all of my blushes. He would wait until I told him I was ready, without ever the slightest indication that he wanted more.

We couldn't stay in the water too long though, and he knew our time was up when my lips started trembling against his. His arm stayed on my waist as we walked back up to the beach, dropping back down together on our beach blanket. He pulled me over onto his lap, wrapping both arms around me to quiet my shivers.

"Guess what," I asked him a little nervously. I wasn't sure how he would react to the news, even though I knew he would be happy for me.

"What?" His voice was very intrigued.

"I received a scholarship to Washington State University on Friday."

"Seriously?" He asked, voice excited. I sighed in relief; I hated seeing him sad.

"Yup. So I guess I won't have to keep going through this legal battle with Renee to tap into my trust fund. They're even covering my costs of living."

"That's amazing Belle, I'm so proud of you. I'm so _happy_ for you." I was smiling against his lips as he kissed me again.

"So this is… okay? We'll be okay?"

My question seemed to throw him off for a moment, but he gave me a reassuring smile as he cupped the side of my face. I relaxed into his hand. "Of course we'll be okay. We'll work something out. We can alternate weekends for visiting, call each other, we'll still have our holidays together. I'll miss you, but I want you to follow your dreams, and I'll _always_ wait for you."

"Thank you Jacob. It makes me so happy to hear you say that. I love you so much."

"I love you more," he told me with a fierce voice, kissing me again passionately. All of a sudden, he pulled away and sighed dramatically.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked in a panicked voice, and he gave me the most heart-wrenching pout that I had ever seen.

"For a moment there, I actually thought you had decided to invite me to your prom."

I burst out laughing again, having to clutch at my stomach. It was hard to believe that I was already in the last month of my classes. Three and a half more weeks, then my high school life would be over. "Do you really want to go?" I asked him, raising an eye brow.

"I'd go anywhere with you. But I'd really like to see you in a dress," he said with an unembarrassed smile.

"What? Seeing me in a bikini isn't exciting enough for you?" I asked with a challenging smile.

"Well, if you'd wear this to your prom I'd be even more excited to go."

"Smooth," I told him with a laugh. "Hey Jacob?"

"Yes Isabella?"

"Will you go to prom with me?"

His answering smile took my breath away as he said yes. I loved being the one to put that smile there.

"Way to go Jake!" Quil shouted from down the beach.

"Hey! No eaves dropping!" I shouted back with an easy smile. I knew he couldn't help it, and he knew that I didn't care. The five others came over and joined us, Claire crawling into my lap. She had grown kind of attached to me, saying that she thought my "weird eyes and face" were pretty. I didn't mind, I knew that I stood out like a sore thumb in my pack. At least I was taller than Claire.

"So do you know what classes you'll be taking yet?" Emily asked curiously. She was pulling out a bunch of containers of sandwiches, fruits and veggies, lying them out on the blanket. Paul was going to be pissed when he found out that we started eating without him.

"I'm not registered yet, but I'm going to major in English Literature and Writing, with minors in History and Environmental Sciences."

"Wow." Emily's mouth hung open a little bit, stunned. I looked over to Leah, and she had a glint of jealousy in her eyes. I had been helping her study to take SATs whenever I had spare time. She wanted to go to college, but had no idea what she wanted to do. More often than not during our lessons, she would get so frustrated that she would have to go outside and phase to calm down. I thought it was adorable, and her wolf was so beautiful.

**. . . . .**

"So did you tell Jacob about the scholarship?"

I hadn't gotten to see Charlie last night, he had been asleep when I came home. He must have gotten off of work early I noted, as he came and sat in a lawn chair close by. I was working on my little vegetable garden in the backyard that I had convinced Jake to build for me. The sprouts had just gotten big enough to plant outside, and I was transferring them from their pods and putting them into the ground.

"Yeah, he took it really well."

"I told you he would. Kid's crazy about you." There was something off about his tone that caught my attention.

"What's up Charlie?" His faced looked pained as he looked at me. This was obviously something difficult for him to talk about, and my stomach began to feel uneasy. He sighed deeply.

"Isabella, I know that you and Jacob have become really serious. You're both so young though, I just want to make sure that you're… taking precautions."

My face flamed red, and I seriously thought I was going to die. Charlie was just trying to protect me though, and I knew that this conversation was hard for him. I fidgeted.

"Charlie, we're not… I mean we are! I mean… Our relationship isn't like that. We haven't… You know. Jacob is a complete gentleman." Maybe not a _complete_ gentleman, but Charlie didn't need to know the gory details. He visibly relaxed, though he still looked uncomfortable.

"Okay, good. But if anything changes-"

"Yes Charlie. I will."

"Good. Well, okay then. I'm going to go order a pizza." He pretty much ran inside, and despite how horrified I was by what had just happened, I couldn't help laughing. I think I'll just give him some space for a day or so.

**. . . . .**

During first period, there was a call for me over the school's intercom to go to the principal's office. I was jeered by the classic "Oooo"s from my classmates as I rushed out of the room, and walked down the hall to his office. He waved me in immediately, and I sat down in a chair across from him a little nervously.

"Ah, Isabella. So, I take it that you know why I've called you down?" I shook my head nervously, and he raised an eye brow. "Well dear, its custom that the student graduating with the highest GPA is named valedictorian at our school."

I just kind of stared at him until he got uncomfortable.

"Um. That would be you, by the way."

I shook my head clear. "I appreciate the offer Sir, I'm honored, but I need to respectfully decline."

He watched in disbelief. "Miss Swan, I'm sure you know that this would be very beneficial on a college application-"

"I've already received a full scholarship from Washington State Sir, I think I'll be fine."

"Oh, well. Hmm. Sorry, but this doesn't happen often," he told me with a small smile. "That's okay though, if you're sure. May I at least ask you why?"

"Well, I've only been here for one semester really. The majority of my classmates have been here together for their entire lives. I think if would be more meaningful for someone else."

"You're a good kid Miss Swan. You can head back to class now."

"Could you… not tell anyone about this? I wouldn't want to mar the excitement of the valedictorian."

"Of course."

I thanked him again, and got up to leave. I stopped at the doorway, and couldn't stifle my curiosity. "Sir? I swear I won't tell anyone, but could I ask who the next person is?"

He evaluated me carefully for a moment, then picked up some papers on his desk, flipping through a couple pages. "Ah, yes. Ms. Webber. Don't ruin the surprise for her though Isabella."

"Of course Sir, I wouldn't dream of it," I told him, walking back to class with a big smile.

**. . . . .**

Angela was curious of course for why I had been called, but she had to wait until lunch for enough time to actually ask. She was completely scattered and stressed with the end of the school term, and I was so happy for her. Her hard work was going to pay off, and I could think of no one more deserving of the title than her.

"So what did the principle want to talk to you about?" We were sitting outside at a picnic table with Ben, and I was glad that she was taking the break away from her work. It's wasn't particularly sunny out, but it was warm and dry.

"He just wanted to talk to me about my scholarship." That was a good enough excuse I decided, and technically it wasn't a lie because I did mention my scholarship. I didn't feel too bad about lying to her. It was for her own good.

"You got a scholarship?" She asked in an excited squeak. Oops.

"Sorry, I meant to tell you. I just got the letter Friday with my acceptance to Washington State."

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you," she exclaimed with complete sincerity.

"Thanks Ang." Ben had to go check out a book at the Library, and gave Angela a quick kiss before leaving us. "So… I was wondering if you wanted to take a shopping trip to Seattle with me soon?"

"Sure, what do you want to get?"

"I need a prom dress," I said in a completely awkward whisper, making her laugh.

"Yes, I'd love to. I had been getting a bit worried that you wouldn't be going. I didn't think dances were really your thing."

"They're not. At all. But it will make Jacob happy. Plus I should probably get something nice to wear for Grad also."

We made plans to go in a couple weeks on a Sunday. I was a little upset that I would miss my Jacob day, but I was doing this for him after all.

**. . . . .**

"Are you sure that you don't want me to come with you?" Jacob asked for the hundredth time.

"I don't want you to see my dress," I told him seriously. It was so hard to say no to him, especially when I knew he was just worried about my safety, but it was only Seattle. I used to live there; I could handle a one day shopping trip with a friend.

"How about you take Leah with you?"

I had debated it, I wanted to take her with me, but it was still the same issue. "Because if I do you'll _still __see my dress_," I told him knowingly. He rolled his eyes.

"Okay okay, just be careful tomorrow all right?"

"I will. Stop worrying so much," I told him, knowing it was futile.

**. . . . .**

We had beautiful weather for the drive, traveling down the highway with the windows open was really nice. Angela helped pass the time as she read her speech to me, asking for help with improvements. She was completely thrilled by the opportunity that she had been given, and even happier now that she'd started getting her acceptance letters in the mail last week. I don't know how she could have been worried about not getting any, she completely underestimated herself.

I knew where the best stores would be, so it wasn't hard to find them. The only difficult part was finding a parking spot. Once that was accomplished though, we easily made the journey to our destination through the streets. The stores were completely nuts, and Angela and I took turns with one changing room. While she was trying something on, I would run and find a dress, come back to give me her my opinion on hers, then we'd switch. It was very efficient.

It did take almost two hours though before we both decided on what we wanted. Angela got a beautiful baby-pink full length gown, and she looked like a princess in it. I went for something a little more simple. A tank dress with a cowl skirt, it was knee length, a light peaches and cream colour with a simple black sash that hugged my waist in a very flattering way. Angela convinced me to buy a pair of black heels too, even though she was wearing flats herself, saying that she wanted to "live vicariously through me." She was very self-conscious of the fact that she was half an inch taller than Ben.

It was incredibly hot inside the store, and I guessed that they were having troubles with their air conditioning, so it was a relief to get back outside where there was a slight breeze. We were chatting excitedly as we walked, Angela wanted me to take her to a music store, and I got a little lost on the way.

"I think we can get back to the street if we cut through this way," I told her, as she nervously followed me through an alley between department stores. The sun had started to set, and the shadows that the buildings threw over us made the alley seem dark. I immediately regretted taking her through this way when I saw how uncomfortable she was. I was used to this. "Sorry Ang, we can just go back and take the long way around," I reassured her, and she grabbed onto my arm.

"Belle," she said in a panicked whisper, but I had already noticed what she saw. There were two men walking towards us, one from each end of the alley. I pushed her slightly behind me, and kept walking towards the entrance of the alley. I was well aware that we were approaching the first man, and heard the other one jogging towards us. I wanted to get as close to the street as possible though.

"Hello ladies. You lost?"

"No, we're fine thanks. We're just going to meet our boyfriends around the corner," I said in an even voice. Angela grabbed onto my wrist, and I could tell that he didn't fall for my bluff as he leaned in too closely. _Go ahead, I dare you_, I challenged with my eyes, but he wasn't afraid.

"Now now, what's the rush? We can keep you company for a little while." His hand stretched out towards Angela, and I moved so that she was between me and the brick wall.

"I'm warning you, you should leave now." I put as much anger and force into my voice as possible, and he just threw his head back laughing, just like Jacob did whenever I threatened him.

He was nothing like my Jacob though, so while his eyes were closed while he laughed, I kicked him hard, right between his legs.

He fell over with a scream, and his friend lunged. I was expecting it though, and got him right in the eyes with my can of pepper spray, and punched him right in the face.

"Angela, run!" I shouted to her, and we booked it out of the alleyway, onto the busy street of oblivious bystanders, and made it to my truck in fifteen minutes. Coach would have been so proud of me, I barely tripped.

We were both panting hard once we got in my truck and closed the doors, so it was a minute before I could speak. "Are you okay Angela?"

She was staring at me with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling quickly with her laboured breathing. "Belle, that was absolutely crazy."

"Are you alright though? You're not hurt are you?"

"No, I'm fine," she gasped, and watched me incredulously for a moment. "_You __saved__ me_," she said in a revered voice. "You're my hero!"

I couldn't help laughing at that, it was just so cliché, and she joined me quickly, our relief almost intoxicating. I grabbed the steering wheel, and winced painfully.

"Are _you_ okay?" She asked, noticing my wince.

"Yeah… I think I might have broken my hand though." I tried to make a fist, and radiating pain shot through it. Yep, broken. I'd had worse though.

"I'm so sorry Isabella!"

"Don't be, it was worth it to punch that creep in the face." I looked at her, trying to smile again. "You still want to go to that music store?"

She laughed again in disbelief, and offered to drive home. We had to stop at the hospital, and one of the nurses went and called Charlie behind my back. Angela was with me, so I couldn't really lie about what had happened. He sat by my bed, hand twitching towards his gun every once in a while absentmindedly while we waited for my x-rays to come back. I was fine really, the bed was kind of dramatic. I had kicked off my shoes and was sitting cross-legged on it while I held a bag of ice.

"You should call Ben to come pick you up Angela, you don't have to stay here." I know that she had a lot of work to do.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'll be fine. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She watched me for one long moment, and then surprised me by leaning over my bed and hugging me tightly. "Thanks Isabella."

"Don't mention it," I said with a reassuring smile. "I'm serious. _Please_ don't mention it to anyone."

So, it turned out that I broke two of my fingers, and fractured one of my knuckles, so I had to get a cast put on. It was after nine before we got in the car to leave. They weren't very serious ones though; hopefully I could have it off in a few weeks. Charlie didn't want me driving, and said he would get someone to bring my truck home later. He was very silent, scowling at the dark road while we drove.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him nervously. I was always stressing him out so much. He let out an exasperated sigh.

"No Bells, I'm not mad _at you_, I'm just mad." Of course he was. Charlie was a cop, fighting people like that was his calling and passion.

"Well, I got to use your pepper spray for the first time." He looked over at my teasing tone, and I offered him the biggest smile that my face was capable of. He relaxed slightly when he laughed at me, shaking my head. "So I take it I'm not under arrest then?"

He assured me that I wasn't, but made me give him descriptions of the men in case either of them showed up at the hospital in Seattle. After assuring him that I was alright, I could see his need to be doing something, he dropped me off at home and assured me he'd get one of his coworkers to help bring my truck back.

I was just taking my dress out of its box to hang it up when the doorbell rang. Curious, I shut my closet door, and went down to answer it. I shouldn't have been surprised to see Jacob there.

"Hey Belle, I saw the light on but your truck isn't here. You guys weren't answering the phone, so I thought I'd come make sure everything was okay."

"Sorry Jake, I was going to call you, but I just got in like two minutes ago."

"No no, it's okay. Sorry for being so needy," he said, making me laugh. "It felt wrong not to see you on our day though. Where's your truck?" I had gestured for him to come inside, still hiding my hand behind my back because I was a coward and knew he was going to freak out, and we sat on the couch.

I took a deep breath. "Um, it's at the hospital. Charlie said he'd grab it for me later." Yup, instant panic on his face, but he at least kept his voice calm.

"And why is your truck at the hospital?"

I gave him a sheepish grin. "I kind of broke my hand a little." I dropped my arm back to my side. With wide eyes, he jumped off of the couch.

"God Belle, what happened? Are you okay?"

I pulled him back down to the couch. "I'm completely fine Jake, it was nothing."

"Nothing does not result in a broken hand, not even for you. What happened?"

A twinge of uneasiness in my stomach. "It really doesn't matter Jake-"

"Please, just tell me Bells. My imagination will drive me mad if you don't."

I was sure he would find out anyways. Charlie would probably tell Billy, and even if Billy didn't tell Jake himself, he would probably overhear their conversation. I sighed, knowing what his reaction would be, and told him.

He started shaking. I knew what had happened to Emily, but I wasn't afraid of Jacob. I just needed to make him look at me. I placed my good hand on his cheek. "Jacob, it's okay. I'm okay. Nothing happened, and they ended up worse than I did. Open your eyes." Still shaking, he did open them, and my heart clenched seeing him in pain. I offered him a calming smile "See? I'm fine. Just calm down. Breathe."

It took him a couple minutes, but he did relax under my touch. When he stopped shaking, I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. I let him pull me into his arms and hold me for a while until he was ready to talk.

"Does it hurt?" He asked me quietly, talking into my hair.

"Nope," I lied easily.

"I could kill them, you know."

"I'm very aware that you could. But I would miss you too much if you got caught," I teased. I felt him laugh quietly.

"So, you really punched a guy in the face?"

"Yup, after I sprayed him with pepper spray. It was pretty cool."

"Hah, I bet."

He begrudgingly let me get up to flick on the TV and get us something to drink before I settled back down on his lap. I told him about the rest of our shopping trip, letting him know that I did get my dress, and he told me what the pack did for the day, letting me know that they missed me. I had missed them too, it was just weird to mess with our routine. It was starting to get late, and knowing that Charlie would be back soon, I sadly told him that he would need to leave soon.

"I don't think I can," he said in complete seriousness. "I miss you too much, I can let you go yet."

I had an idea, feeling oddly rebellious today after that action. "Charlie will let me stay home tomorrow. I might not be the best company, but you're welcome to come play hooky with me if you can get out of work."

His answer was instant. "I'll be here as soon as Charlie pulls out of the driveway."

He left minutes later, and finally getting too fed up with the dull throbbing ache in my hand, I took a couple of my pain killers before bed, not caring about the repercussions.

**. . . . .**

And there were repercussions. I woke up at four in the morning, throwing up violently into the toilet. It woke up Charlie, who hovered around a little panicked, not knowing what to do.

"I'm fine Charlie. My hand was really bothering me so I took some of the painkillers. I just forgot to eat something before."

"You didn't take too many did you?"

"No, the bottle said two, so I took two. I'll be fine."

"What can I do?"

"A glass of cold water would be ni-" Yeah, there it goes again. Charlie ran downstairs, to my relief. Giving me a couple minutes of privacy.

"I think you should stay home today Belle."

I nodded, pissed off that I probably just ruined my day with Jacob.

After my stomach settled, and I brushed my teeth, I was able to fall asleep. I woke up when Charlie was in the shower during the morning, and decided to call Jake and give him a heads up. Billy was always up at the crack of dawn anyways.

"Hey Billy, can I talk to Jake please?" I asked when he picked up.

"Morning Isabella. He's just coming out of the shower now, just a sec."

"Hey Belle! What's up? I was just getting ready to leave." I was distracted for a minute, knowing that he was probably answering in a towel…

"Hey Jake. Umm… I got kind of sick from my medication, and I just wanted to warn you so that you could have time to go into work if you wanted. I'm pretty gross."

"Are you still staying home today?"

"Yeah, Charlie doesn't want me going in after last night."

"Do you not want to see me?"

"I didn't say that-"

"Then I'll be over in a little bit. You can sleep, or I can hold your hair for you while you throw up. Love you!"

I sighed. "Love you too. See you soon I guess." I hung up, and went back to my bed.

**. . . . .**

Charlie was saying good-bye an hour later, saying he would call my school for me. My stomach felt completely fine now, but I felt gross and my hand was even worse than yesterday. I would make sure to eat something first this time. Before I could even hop in the shower though, Jake was knocking on the front door. Sighing, I went down and let him in. He leaned in to hug me, but I stopped him delicately.

"Mind if I hop in the shower first?"

"Not at all, I'll go watch some TV," he said, making himself at home. I smiled in relief, and ran upstairs.

I felt much more human after washing my hair and brushing my teeth. I got dressed as quickly as I could with one hand, giving up on the button of my jeans and putting on a nice pair of silky pyjama shorts and a tank top. I couldn't really do much with my hair, so I just brushed it then left it alone before heading downstairs.

"You want a bowl of cereal or something?" I asked him. He smiled when he saw me, jumping up to his feet and kissing me before he could answer.

"Nah, I'm fine."

I decided against cereal, and just stuck to some toast and peanut butter. I kicked Jake out of the kitchen when he tried to butter my toast for me. Watching him walk out with that dejected expression, I immediately felt remorseful. With a sigh, I chased after him.

"I'm sorry Jake, I didn't mean to be a such a bitch. My hand is killing me and it's driving me crazy, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you," I gave him my best pout and watched him melt.

"It's okay, I didn't take it personally," he said with an easy smile. I think I just got played. "I don't think I've ever heard you swear like that before, Embry and Paul are bad influences on you. Is your stomach feeling better enough to take something?"

It was, so after I finished my toast I took _one_, and was relieved when I didn't feel sick afterwards. My stomach did feel oddly jittery though, and my head was fuzzy. I also couldn't seem to keep my hands off of Jacob, not that he minded.

"God Isabella, these shorts look so sexy on you," he mumbled as he left a trail of kisses down my neck.

"Your shirt would look sexy on my floor," I replied, startling him and making myself burst into giggles. God, why couldn't I stop laughing? He gave me a look to see how serious I was, and I gave him the moist pointed look I could muster while I tried to swallow my laughter. With a brilliant smile, he grabbed the back collar of his shirt with his right hand, yanking it off and tossing it onto the floor. Why did guys always take their shirts off like that? I didn't really care, it was so hot seeing his arm muscles bulge like that when he did. I slid my good hand up that arm, needing to feel it for myself to make sure it was real. Moving up over his shoulder slowly, I wrapped my arm around the back of his neck, using him to steady myself as I threw one leg over his lap and straddled him. I took one short moment to appreciate the surprised look on his face while sliding my palm over his sculpted stomach. I saw him shiver, something I don't think I've ever seen him do before, and leaned in to kiss him.

It only took him a few seconds to compose himself before he replied enthusiastically. His lips were hot and hungry against mine, his hands were playing with the hem of my shirt. I slid my hand on top of his, moving it under my shirt and onto my ribs.

It was like throwing gasoline onto a fire, his reaction was instant. Gripping tightly onto my waist, hands hot on my skin, he flipped me onto my back on the couch, pinning me underneath him. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, and could feel him between us. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw and down my neck as I gasped for air, and I took the opportunity to pull off my shirt.

He pulled away then, but I tethered myself to him tightly with my legs. He took in my form beneath him, me lying back against the couch in my lavender silk shorts and a black bra. The hungry look in his eyes made me squirm.

"Belle, we shouldn't-"

"We don't have to _do_ anything. But can't we enjoy this?" He frowned slightly, sending a painful shock through my heart and making me doubt myself. I slowly wrapped my arms across my chest in embarrassment. "I'm sorry." I leaned up to reach for my shirt. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to-"

I gasped as he pushed me back down onto the couch, his lips crashing against mine once more. I let out a small moan as his hands slid over my chest and down my stomach. Then I bit onto his lower lip lightly.

The groan he let out made me shiver in desire. I watched the top of his head as he slid away from my mouth, kissing along my neck, my collar bone, over the curve of my breast along my bra. His hands were sliding up and down the outside of my thighs. I watched in wonder as my nails dug into his shoulders, leaving angry red welts that healed and disappeared in seconds. My legs relaxed their hold on him as he slid down further, kissing my stomach, the curve of my hip bone…

Then my stomach growled hungrily.

We both started laughing, me more out of frustration as he sat up and pulled away. I watched him watch me as my breathing slowed back down to normal with a very satisfied look on his face. Indulging him, I stretched out longly and slowly before sitting up.

"Hungry?" I asked him in an easy tone.

"Starving." He slapped my butt lightly as I got up and walked over to the kitchen, making me laugh.

He watched me with a fascinated smile as I prepared us some lunch in my bra and shorts. I felt too warm to bother putting my shirt back on. "This has to be the sexiest thing I've seen in my life," he said as I set a giant bowl of mac and cheese on the table in front of him, making me blush and smile simultaneously. He washed our dishes afterwards, I couldn't get my cast wet, and we went back to the living room and curled up on the couch together again. With a full stomach, and surrounded by his warmth, I felt very sleepy. He held me in his arms, playing with my messy hair as I started to drift off. It felt nice.

"I hope we can have more days like this, once school finishes," I said sleepily.

"We will. We'll have an entire summer of them. I promise."

I wanted more than a summer. I wanted a lifetime.

**. . . . .**

Since my shopping trip had gotten cut short the other weekend, I didn't get a chance to get an outfit for my grad. Not even bothering to argue with Charlie and Jacob, I was now pulling past the city limits of Port Angeles in Billy's truck, nestled in between Leah and Jacob. Jake dropped us off at the store I wanted to go to, giving me a quick kiss and saying that he needed to go pick something up somewhere.

Leah has been excited enough during the drive up, but now seemed tense as she stood protectively beside me, a serious expression on her face as she seemed to be trying to look in every direction at once. I was immediately suspicious, and a little irritated.

"What's wrong Leah?" I asked in a neutral tone, having a fair idea already.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm shopping, we're having fun."

"Cut the shit Leah. Jacob's making you watch me, isn't he?"

"He's not _making_ me do anything," she said with a scowl. I gave her a look, and she sighed. "I'm sorry Belle, but you're my sister. I know you don't like to talk about your private conversations with Jake, but this doesn't just affect him. It affected all of us. There are no words to describe how angry we all were, without freaking you out anyways. I'm sorry, I just can't help it."

"Don't apologize. I know your heart is in the right place. But you only saw it from Jacob's view, and he's too biased. He barely touched me Leah. I held my own, and pretty much kicked both of their asses, as hard as that may be to believe. I think you would have been proud of me if you had been there." I tried to offer her a reassuring smile, happy that it seemed to have a calming effect on her.

"If I had been there, I would have crushed their skulls," she said with a laugh, visibly more relaxed. "And I wouldn't have hurt myself doing it either."

I smacked her in the arm with my cast habitually, wincing and making her laugh again.

"So, were you going to come?" I asked, trying to play it cool as I started flipping through the racks of clothes.

"To your Grad? Is that okay?"

"Of course. You don't have to though, it will probably be really boring."

"No, I'd love to. Thanks."

I ended up getting another dress, falling in love with a little black one that I found. It was cute yet conservative, that had small capped sleeves and ended just a couple inches above my knees. It had a delicate laced material that covered the entire thing. It had a zipper in the back though, and I had to get Leah to zip it up for me, much to my embarrassment.

When I called her over, I caught her admiring a pretty sundress longingly. It was white and covered in a pattern of giant yellow sunflowers. It would look so beautiful on her. When she stopping guarding me for a couple of minutes to use the washroom, I took my chance and rang it though the cash with my own, hiding the bag inside my other one. She was even worse at accepting gifts than I was; the only ones I didn't mind were the little home-made gifts that Jacob gave me. I knew Leah didn't have much money though, her biggest source of income were the deer that she sold to the local butcher on the reservation, and she deserved something pretty. She didn't suspect a thing when she returned.

After Jake picked us up again, we grabbed a couple of burgers to eat on the drive back.

"So, I'll see you on Friday?" I asked as he slid out of the truck to let me out. He lifted me out of the seat easily, and kissed me before setting me on my feet.

"Definitely. Pick you up at six?"

"Sounds good. Here Leah, this is for you," I whipped the bag at her, and ran inside before she could say anything.

**. . . . .**

I'm glad that they let out classes early today; it's not easy doing your hair with one hand.

I did manage to tape on my own garbage bag though, with some help from my teeth. After a very long shower, shaving my legs carefully, and lathering myself in moisturizing lotion, it took me almost two hours to get my hair smooth and straight. I had to alternate between blowing it and combing it, and after that there wasn't much that I could do with it. Luckily, the dress was easy to put on, I just had to slip it on over my head. I managed to painfully clasp Charlie's necklace, and after doing up my shoes I was completely exhausted. My hands shook as I tried to put on a little bit of mascara. I hated the stuff, but it had been a gift from Angela.

After all of my effort, I had to admit; I looked pretty good. Charlie must have gotten off of work a little early, because it was only a quarter to when I heard the front door close.

Suddenly, I became more aware of the reality of what I was about to do. This wasn't who I was, and now I felt kind of ridiculous. I wish I had taken more time to practice walking in these shoes. Charlie knocked on my door after a couple of minutes, and I took a little too long to answer it.

"Bells… Wow. You clean up good kid," he said a little awkwardly. He gave me a questioning look. "How did you get that necklace on with one hand?"

"Dedication and determination," I told him seriously. He shook his head in exasperation, and the doorbell rang.

"I'll get that. Give us a couple minutes will you?"

"It would take longer than that to maneuver down the stairs in these stilts," I mumbled. After he left, I circled around my room once more to make sure I had my balance. I let myself indulge in one exasperated sigh before grabbing my black clutch and leaving my room.

Charlie was clicking away on my digital camera before I even had him in my sight. I felt like a classic high school kid in some cheesy movie as I walked down the stairs, and I kept my right hand hidden behind my back so my cast wouldn't ruin the pictures. I kept my eyes firmly glued to those dangerous stairs, but I could feel Jacob's gaze on me. With only four steps left, I couldn't help looking up at him.

He was wearing a white dress shirt, with black slacks, a black tie and new dress shoes. I didn't know if I had ever seen him look so handsome before. The smile that he was wearing gave my stomach butterflies.

Thoroughly distracted by that breath-taking smile, I missed a step. He caught me easily before I hit the ground, and sat me gently on my feet.

"Belle… You look so beautiful that it's almost painful to look," he whispered thickly into my ear, making me giggle. God, when had I turned into such a girly girl? But I knew I would do absolutely anything to make Jacob smile.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I whispered back with a smile, feeling more like myself. He laughed.

"Okay kids, let me get a couple of the two of you together," Charlie asked excitedly. My smile was completely genuine as Jacob stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Charlie even laughed while snapping a picture of him lifting me a foot and a half off of the ground to easily kiss me. I knew that it was common for a lot of parents not to like their child's significant other, and it always made me happy to know that Charlie completely approved of our relationship. Not only did he like Jacob, had known him his entire life, but it must make him happy to know that his daughter was dating his best friend's son. Before we left, Jacob fastened a beautiful white rose corsage onto my cast with a grin, then led me out to his car.

"I shouldn't have let Angela convince me to where these shoes. I'm going to end up killing the both of us in them tonight." Even with the high heels, Jacob was still more than a foot taller than me.

"Remind me to thank her," he said, giving me a full look-over with an extremely pleased expression on his face, but he saw my actual fear when he looked into my eyes. "You'll be find Belle. You won't be able to fall, because I won't let go of you for a second." I could tell he was being completely serious from the tone of his voice.

**. . . . .**

It was a wonderful evening. Jacob held to his promise and didn't leave my side for a moment. We had sat at a table with Angela, Ben, Mike, Jess, Tyler and Lauren for dinner. Neither of us could really dance, but I was completely happy as he held me while we swayed around in small circles. It got really warm in the crowded gym, so we went and sat outside to cool off.

"So, did you want to go to that after party at Jessica's?" he asked teasingly. I laughed.

"Not in the slightest, but I don't want to go home yet either." He was fidgeting with his tie uncomfortably, so I loosened it and took it off for him.

"Thanks. Whoever invented those things had a cruel and unusual mind. It's Friday, so there's probably a bonfire on the beach tonight if you want to go there for a bit."

I did, and was glad to leave a little early. Angela seemed relieved too, and left shortly after us.

I didn't bother getting changed, and we just drove straight to the beach. Surprisingly, there was no fire, but I didn't mind. The sky was clear, and the stars looked so beautiful. I curled up on Jacob's lap, apparently he "didn't want the sand to ruin my dress." As if I needed an excuse.

"So, I've saved enough money this year from work to get by comfortably through the summer. I was thinking of giving the Newtons my two weeks' notice. What do you think?"

"I would never ask you to quit your job for me, but I would love the extra time with you," he told me, kissing my hair.

"So you wouldn't mind?"

He laughed. "Why would I mind?"

"I just don't want to come off as too clingy," I admitted shyly, making him laugh even harder.

"Belle, I think of you every second of every day. Every moment that you're not in my arms is painful to me, and I would gladly spend the rest of my life glued to your side. If anyone in this relationship is clingy, it's me. I could never spend too much time with you."

Those words made my heart race and filled me with joy. I shifted in his lap to look at him, and he seemed slightly embarrassed by his confession. I laid my hand on his cheek, and stared into his eyes as I spoke.

"I feel the same way Jacob. No one could ever love someone as much as I love you."

He relaxed again as he smiled. "There's one exception to that," he told me. My smile was interrupted by his lips. "I can't quit my job, I need the hours for my apprenticeship, but I can take some time off. Maybe we could go camping for a week when you're finished with your job?"

A whole week alone with my Jacob? There was no way I'd turn that down. "I would love that. I've never gone camping before though."

"It's okay, I have. I'll even be nice and take you to an actual campground so you'll have running water for showers and whatnot, even though I don't consider that _real_ camping. We can go hiking, canoeing, swimming…" We got excited making plans together, and I let him know that the running showers and toilets would be a necessity.

Before I knew it, Jake had checked his watch and told me that it was one in the morning. "I should probably take you back, or Charlie's going to think my intentions weren't pure tonight," he said with a smile.

I begrudgingly complied, and it was hard to say goodbye to him, knowing that I wouldn't see him again until Sunday.

**. . . . .**

I slept in Saturday morning, knowing that I didn't have any homework to do. There were only two days left of school, and they would be empty and boring. I took some time to write out my letter of resignation neatly. I was going to have to buy a laptop or something before I went to University.

Mrs. Newton was sad to receive it, but was very supportive about it. She had gotten a lot of resumes from kids looking for summer jobs, so it wouldn't be too hard to find a replacement.

It was a slow day, and I occupied the time by slowly sweeping the isles, looking for things I might need for camping. I picked out a comfortable hiking pack, a good sleeping bag and a flashlight. I decided at the last moment that I should probably bring a small first aid kit; Jacob couldn't catch me every time, no matter how hard he tried.

"Going camping?" Mike asked me as he rang through my things. His voice sounded a little surly.

"Yep, in a couple of weeks. Going to go on a little vacation. Are you excited about tomorrow?"

His expression changed to a happier one. "Hell yes! We're finally done, it's kind of hard to wrap your mind around, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. Well I need to get home, see you Monday!"

"G'nite Isabella!"

**. . . . .**

I woke up at four and couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to just take a shower and start getting ready. Charlie could excuse me this once. I once again took a ridiculous amount of time to make my hair look nice. By the time I was done, Charlie had already taken his shower and was downstairs having breakfast. I put on my black dress, and was stumped when I remembered the zipper. _Damn_. I put on a hoodie over it, not wanting to get it dirty with breakfast, grabbed my cap, my gown and sash, and a pair of black flats before heading downstairs.

"Morning Bells. You were up early this morning. Too excited to sleep?"

"Yeah, it was probably a good thing though; it takes a lot longer to do your hair when you can only use one hand." I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat down at the table with him.

"Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. Will you be ready to go after your breakfast?"

I nodded. I ate quickly, washed my bowl, and was ready to go.

"Are you wearing that sweater?" He asked curiously. I sighed, and took it off.

"I was having trouble with the zipper, do you think you could?"

"Uh, okay. Sure." He said awkwardly, and zipped it up quickly. "You look nice Bells."

"Thanks Charlie."

He made me lend him my digital camera, and after I handed it to him we left. It didn't take long to get to the school, but the parking lot was packed. We found a spot and went inside, where we had to split up.

"Good luck kid."

"Thanks."

I went and joined all of the other students, and Angela helped me tie up my gown and get my hat to stay on. They had us standing in the hot room for almost an hour and a half for some reason, and she mercifully also put my hair into a neat bun for me. Finally they got us all into alphabetical order and had us file through the isle between the chairs of the guests in the gym before directing us into our seats. I caught a quick glance of Charlie snapping pictures like crazy, and behind him were Jake and Leah. I smiled and gave them a little wave as I passed.

I'm not sure what I had really expected afterwards, but I didn't feel any different. The only part of the ceremony that had my attention was Angela's speech, and she did an excellent job. The hot, crowded gym had made me drowsy though, and when the principal had called out my name, the person next to me had to nudge me with their elbow. There were a few muffled laughs when I almost tripped over the last stair onto the platform, and my face went beat red when Charlie, Jacob and Leah cheered loudly for me.

When everyone else threw their hats up into the air, I only threw mine lightly, making sure I was able to catch it again. This was the only school that really mattered to me, and I wanted to keep this as a memento.

Jacob beat Charlie to me, picking me up and giving me a tight hug before passing me over.

"I'm so proud of you Isabella. Congratulations," Charlie said with tears in his eyes. He really did see me as his daughter.

"Thanks, Dad."

He really started crying then, and if he hadn't had that enormous smile on his face I would have felt bad. A few people gave us some weird looks as he hugged me again, and held onto me for a while. I didn't mind, it was nice feeling so loved. When he let me go, he sent me off to say goodbye to my classmates before we left. Jacob held my hand, and didn't leave my side the entire time. I didn't have many to say goodbye to, Angela and Ben were the only people I actually hung out with outside of school, but I congratulated her and complimented her on her speech before telling her to call me to hang out soon.

"Hey, we have to attend to something on the Rez real quick, but we'll come over a bit later, okay?" Jake said. I nodded, and he gave me a kiss before the two of them ran off. It took me about fifteen minutes to find Charlie afterwards, he had been talking to the principal.

"You ready to go kid?"

"Yup, Jake and Leah had to leave though. Is it okay if they come over later?"

"Yeah, sure." I wished the principal a happy summer, and followed my Dad out to his cruiser. "So, how does it feel to be a high school graduate?" He asked me with a big smile.

"I don't feel any different," I admitted to him. "But I'm happy to know that I have a complete two months all to myself. I'll probably get an early start on my work for University though." The thought of buying new textbooks got me all excited.

"Why didn't you tell me that the principal asked you to be the valedictorian?"

That traitor! He said he wouldn't tell anyone. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Besides, Angela deserved it more, it meant more to her than it would have to me."

He nodded in understanding but didn't make a big deal of it, and I relaxed as we pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the car, and walked up to the door beside Charlie, who waved me in.

I kicked off my shoes, and then went to walk through the living room to get to the kitchen. I flicked on the light, why were all the blinds closed?

"SURPRISE!" Shouted a room full of people, and I screamed the loudest, most girly scream I've ever made. Jacob ran forward and caught me before I could collapse, and everyone laughed.

The room was packed; the entire pack was there, along with Billy, Sue, Harry, Emily and Claire. There were balloons everywhere, and a Giant banner that said "Congratulations Isabella." It took me a few minutes to calm my breathing back to normal, and I felt my eyes start to tear up. No one had ever thrown a party for me before. Charlie moved us all outside, it was another beautiful day, and fired up the barbeque. There were all sorts of folding tables and lawn chairs scattered around the yard, and Sue and Emily started bringing out all sorts of food. Charlie fired up the barbeque, getting ready to make a feast of hotdogs and hamburgers.

Everyone took a couple of minutes to come up and congratulate me, and I gave each and every one of them a hug when I thanked them.

"Auntie Izzy!" Claire yelled when she got close to me, and I picked her up to give her a hug. She handed me a card, it was covered in scribbles of different colors of crayon.

"Did you make this?" I asked her, and she smiled excitedly. "I absolutely love it Claire! Thank you so much. I'll treasure it always." She laughed and gave me a big hug.

"Auntie Izzy, whas wong wif your hand?" She asked me, voice filled with concern.

I leaned in to whisper in her ear. "A boy was being mean to me, so I punched him in the face," I told her honestly. She looked at me in astonishment, and then burst into giggles.

It was a wonderful evening, I spent most of the time sitting in between Jake and Charlie while everyone talked and laughed together. I told Claire that she could decorate my cast, and she spent most of the evening covering it in different colors before she eventually fell asleep on me. I loved her so much, just like she really was my own niece. I looked over at Jacob, who was watching me with a strange smile on his face. I could see myself with him in another ten years, sitting together on a porch and watching our own children play. I wanted it so badly, to spend the rest of my life with this man who taught me to love again. I wanted to have his children, to grow old with him and take care of him, to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make him smile.

"I have a gift for you," he said, breaking my train of thought. He saw my alarm. "Don't worry, it's just another little home-made trinket, nothing big." He smiled at me, and took my hand to put a small bag in it.

"Wow, it's beautiful Jake," I said, looking at the small leather pouch. It had an intricate bead design on it that looked like a sun. It reminded me of Jacob, my own personal sun here on this planet. Jacob laughed.

"It's not the bag, it's what's inside it." I gently loosened the tie around the bag, and carefully shook out its contents onto the table. Mesmerized, I set the bag down and picked up the tiny wolf to inspect it more closely.

The wood was the same russet color as Jacob's skin, the same color that his wolf was. It looked just like him, only much, much smaller. The details on it were so life-like, I wouldn't have been surprised if it just ran off or started howling. "Now, no matter where you are, you'll always have a reminder of me to take with you."

"Jacob… It's amazing, thank you." I didn't have any more words, but I leaned over, careful not to wake up Claire, and he leaned down to meet my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

**. . . . .**

It was weird waking up on Thursday, and not having anything to do. I didn't work until four, so I spent the entire day scrubbing the house from top to bottom. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, then vacuumed all of the floors before mopping them. I washed the windows, inside and out, and dusted every shelf and surface. The house had gotten hot around noon, so I opened up all of the windows while I worked. I finished with over an hour to spare, giving me plenty of time to have a shower. I paused before going upstairs; even in the small town of Forks, I knew better than to just leave an easy entrance to an intruder while I was otherwise occupied. So I made sure to close and lock each and every one of them before rushing upstairs.

As I was taping my garbage bag to my hand, I thought about how excited I was to get it taken off. The breaks hadn't been too bad, so I was supposed to get more x-rays done after three weeks. Hopefully I can convince him to let me get away with a brace instead. Only three more days.

I felt like a completely new person after my shower, and couldn't believe how much of a workout it had been to do all that cleaning. I was starving, so I brushed my hair, got dressed quickly and ran downstairs to get something to eat.

I got to work just in time, and was happy that it was raining because I had forgotten to water my garden. It was a pretty busy evening; a lot of people seemed to be getting ready to go camping, and I even saw a few students from my graduating class come through. I barely made it to my bed before falling asleep.

**. . . . .**

Friday was the same as yesterday, but now I didn't have the option of cleaning to occupy myself. Jacob worked until five, and it was pouring rain outside. I went and checked the fridge, and we were running low on just about everything after that party, so I grabbed some money from the food jar and decided to go out into the rain and do some shopping.

It was very relaxing knowing that I didn't have to hurry to be somewhere, and I took my time wandering around the isles. I planned out a few meals, got everything that I needed and a few other things, and went back home. It was still early in the morning when I finished putting everything away, and not wanting to wait another seven hours to see Jacob, I decided that I would bring some lunch to him at work.

I fried up a couple chicken breasts, boiled some pasta, and made a nice pasta salad with some pesto and peppers. It was a quarter after eleven, so I got changed into a pair of shorts and a light grey tank top before running out to my car. It was just too hot for a coat, the humidity was thick in the air, and I ended up getting soaked. I had been living in Forks for seven months, and I still didn't own an umbrella. There was definitely something wrong with me.

It took me a little while to get to the reservation and find his work. My truck wasn't easy to miss, so I knew he must have heard me pull into the parking lot. He jogged over with a big smile, and hopped into my truck.

He leaned over and kissed me right away. "Hey babe, this is an awesome surprise. What's up?"

I was happy that he wasn't annoyed with me for showing up like this. "Nothing, I just missed you, and thought I'd bring you by some lunch." His smile got impossibly bigger when I handed him the container, and he thanked me before digging in.

I noticed a man peeking through the window of the shop at us every few minutes. "I hope I'm not getting you into trouble," I said uneasily.

"Don't worry about Neal," Jake said over a mouthful of food. "He's probably just jealous that I'm sitting in a car with a pretty girl who can cook." He winked at me, making me laugh. I made a note to bring an extra dish for his boss next time.

"Thanks Belle, you made my day," he said when he finished, slumping back in the seat.

"So you really don't mind me surprising you like this?" I just wanted to be sure.

"Not at all, you can come by every day if you want. I'm always glad to see you." _Maybe I will_. He leaned in and kissed me gently.

"Okay, just checking. So I'll head over with Charlie tonight after he gets home from work."

He made the most adorable pouting face, making my heart melt. "I don't know if I can wait another five and a half hours." I took in his dirty jeans, oil splattered work boots and black t-shirt. It was really hot, I loved him best like this.

"I don't either, I'll probably have to bake something just to kill the time," I said, knowing it was the best way to get him to let me leave, even if I didn't want him to. Sure enough, his face lit up.

"Okay, I guess I'll survive," he said dramatically, before kissing me again. When he went to pull away, I leaned into him so his lips didn't break away from mine. I wasn't finished yet. He didn't seem to mind me drawing that kiss out for a few minutes, before I finally pulled away. He had a dazed look on his face.

"Okay, get back to work. I'll see you tonight."

"Love you Belle," he said as he opened up the door.

"Love you too."

**. . . . .**

I made a double batch of peanut butter cookies when I got back. It was a small oven, and I could only cook a dozen at a time, so it took a couple hours. I set them all out to cool, washed my dishes, and then went to grab another shower. I felt like I was covered in oil after baking all afternoon.

After brushing my wet hair, I just twisted it and put it into a hair clamp. It was really humid out, so I picked out something cool to wear. I settled for a denim skirt that I had never worn before, and a dark purple tank.

I sat in my room and read for the rest of the afternoon until Charlie got home. I packed up my cookies in a big Tupperware container while he took his time getting changed, and was ready and waiting for him by the door when he came down.

The air conditioning in the car felt amazing, and if Jacob hadn't been waiting for me I might not have been able to get out. Their house was cooler than ours, with all of the windows opened and being mostly shaded by the trees. We walked in and I went to sit the plate of cookies in the kitchen for later. Jacob tried to sneak up behind, but I was always able to tell when he was near. That same magnetic force that I had felt since the first time I met him only grew stronger over time. I didn't even think I was crazy anymore, my boyfriend was a shape shifter after all; it wouldn't be the strangest thing if I had some sort of weird alert system in my brain. When I felt him almost touching me, I spun around really quickly, making him jump in surprise. I laughed, and almost jumped into his arms, knowing that he would catch me. He did, and lifted me higher to kiss me without hunching over. He held me there, and I smiled, loving the feeling of my feet dangling underneath me.

He easily threw me over his shoulder, grabbed a handful of cookies, and walked over to the living room and dumped me on the couch. I didn't bother telling him to wait until after dinner, knowing that they couldn't ruin _his_ appetite.

Billy ordered some pizzas, and as usual they got extremely absorbed in their football game.

"So, are we still up for next weekend? I was thinking we could go down to Mount Rainier."

"Umm… I still haven't asked Charlie yet," I said nervously.

"Hey Charlie, mind if I take Belle camping next week?" He asked easily. I felt my heart rate speed up.

"How many tents you got?" He asked, barley looking away from the TV.

"Two."

"Sure, okay then." I stared at him in disbelief, Jacob was smiling.

"There, no problem," he said proudly, making me laugh. "So, when's your last day?"

"Thursday. We could leave Saturday morning, how far away is it?"

"Almost a five hour drive."

As the air got cooler, I snuggled closer to Jacob while we made travelling plans. It got late, and I made plans to see him again on Sunday afternoon.

**. . . . .**

My first week as a high school graduate was very relaxing. It was brightened by the fact that my hand was finally free. The doctor said it was healed enough that I could go with a just brace for the next couple weeks, as long as I was careful. I spent my time reading and playing in my vegetable garden, and got into the habit of bringing lunch to Jake everyday just for a chance to see him for a few minutes. Neal ended up giving him longer lunch breaks too once I started bringing him lunch also. I only worked twice, but on the nights that I didn't I would cook dinner for my Dad and hang out with Jacob. I only hung out with Angela once during the week, she was keeping very busy with her work, trying to save as much money as she could over the summer.

I was a little sad on my last day working for the Newtons. It was the longest I had ever had a job, seven months, and I had grown quite attached to them. Mrs. Newton even gave me a hug when I left that night, and I assured her that I would see them again; it wasn't a very big town.

So now I was sitting in my room, all of my stuff scattered around me on my floor, trying to decide on the most efficient way to pack my things for tomorrow. We would be gone for over a week, and the weather was promising to stay warm, even if it might be wet, so I packed mostly lighter clothes. They conveniently took up less space too. Besides, even if it did get cold, I had my own personal space heater.

Charlie walked by my room, laughing when he took in the scene in front of him.

"I don't think I've ever seen your room look messy before," he said with a grin. "You excited for tomorrow?"

"I am," I told him happily. "I've never been on a vacation before." He gave me a bit of a sad look, and I pretended not to see it. "You sure you don't mind?"

"Yeah, you guys are practically adults now, and I trust both of you. Besides, I know Jacob would never let anything happen to you. I'm pretty sure he would jump in front of a bullet for you without even thinking about it."

I thought he was right, but I didn't want to think of Jacob being hurt like that, it was too painful. Even knowing that he would heal quickly, the thought that there were worse things out there than crazy people with guns made my stomach feel queasy.

Charlie wished me a goodnight, and an hour later I finished my packing and made myself try to get a little sleep. My worrisome thoughts seemed to stalk me into my subconscious.

**. . . . .**

_I was on the beach eating tomatoes for some reason. Charlie was sitting across from me in full uniform, and Jacob was beside me, in his wolf form. I was curious, yet happy to see that Charlie wasn't bothered by it. Charlie was talking to us, but I was distracted by another man walking down the beach._

_His features were blurry, but his skin looked almost grey like cement. He walked towards us, his dark red eyes locked onto mine the entire time. When the others noticed, they both jumped in front of me. The man made an odd gesture with his hand, mimicking a gun, and pointed it at Charlie who immediately fell over. I yelled for Jake to stop, but he was already gone, and the monster snapped his neck like he was a stuffed animal. I screamed and screamed, but we were all alone now. He smiled at me as his hands wrapped around my throat, and two long fangs stretched out of his canines._

**Thanks for Reading!**


	8. Chapter Eight: Summer

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended****. ****This is where that M rating comes in, and in fairness I did warn you. **

**Chapter Eight :: Summer**

**Belle  
**

"Isabella! It's okay sweetheart, just wake up." It took me a couple seconds to realize that I was being shaken, and my eyes shot open as I flinched away from him violently.

Charlie had been sitting on the edge of my bed with both of his hands on my shoulders, but he quickly pulled his hands away. He seemed to relax though once I registered that it was him. I sighed in relief as I lunged forward and hugged him. He awkwardly patted my back.

"Shh, it was just a bad dream, you're fine."

I realized I had been crying, and hastily pulled away to swipe at my tears. I couldn't even remember what I had been dreaming about, just that it had scared me more than anything, and that I had been worried about Charlie and Jacob.

"Sorry Charlie, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm fine."

He didn't really look like he believed me, but nodded anyways and went back to his room. I looked at the clock, and it was already six. Jake wouldn't be over for another two hours, but I decided to just get up and take my time getting ready, enjoying the last good shower that I would probably have for a week.

Jacob was right on time as usual, and I gave Charlie a hug before we left. Jacob was able to fit my pack into his trunk with his own, even with the two tents that he had in there and all of his supplies. The back seat of his car was occupied by a big cooler.

We had beautiful weather for the drive, it was bright and sunny and there was a beautiful cool breeze coming in from the west. I knew Jake's car was easier on gas than my truck, but I would have preferred to have taken it just so I could slide across the bench and sit closer to him. Like he was reading my mind, he reached over and took my hand, lifting it up to his mouth and kissing it without looking away from the busy road. He rested his elbow on the center console, and didn't let my hand go.

We stopped in the town closest to the park to stock up on food before we went to the campground. We took our time strolling through the aisles and grabbing everything that we wanted, and got a bunch of ice to keep everything cold on the way out.

I was a little disappointed at first while Jacob left me in the car to go check in. The trees in the area were sparse, and you could see dozens of tents scattered around. It didn't seem like there was much privacy. I could tell what he meant now when he had said that this wasn't 'real' camping. My opinion changed though as he drove almost fifteen minutes deep into the campground. As we got further, the trees got thicker, and the number of tents that I could see decreased. We ended up in a small, isolated lot deep in the trees right up against the river. The lot was half covered in sand, half in grass, and was about the size of Charlie's small living room, decorated only with a wooden picnic table and a small metal fire pit. It looked like the inside barrel of a washing machine.

I smiled. This was _perfect_, exactly what I had wanted. I didn't even mind the fact that an outhouse was the only closest toilet. I'd have to walk about twenty minutes to get to the showers.

Jacob patiently let me help set up the tent, smiling the entire time. I had never done it before, and was eager to learn how. He thought it was a little ironic that I had worked in a sporting goods store for so long and had never set up a tent. Mike had always enjoyed setting up the displays, so I never tried to take the enjoyment of the task away from him.

I stood back and proudly admired the final result, barely noticing when Jake went and grabbed the second tent out of the car.

"What are you doing?" I asked him in surprise.

"Setting up the other tent?" He said it almost like a question.

"I thought that was just a ruse to pacify Charlie. You don't want to share one?"

It took him a minute to formulate a reply. "I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything…"

"I don't mind. Besides, who would protect me if a bear came into our camp?" I gave him a big smile. "But if you don't want to, it's okay," I said knowingly. He smiled, and tossed the extra tent back into the trunk.

I set up our beds in the tent while Jake hung a tarp over the picnic table and finished unloading the car. He emptied everything from the trunk into the backseat, so we could use it to safely store the food from any wildlife that might roam into the camp. I helped him collect some tinder to help start the fire, and he showed me how to build it properly and let me light it myself. I felt accomplished today, setting up a tent and starting a fire for the first time. It was one of the many things I loved about Jacob; instead of just doing things for me, he would just show me how to do it and let me try it myself. I hated being babied.

The sun had already gone down, and we sat together cooking hotdogs by the fire. I had two, and Jake finished off the pack and opened up a big bag of chips. We spent the night planning what we would do for the week, and we decided that tomorrow we'd go canoeing for the day. I had no idea what time it was, I didn't really care because it wasn't like our schedule was time sensitive, but I was having trouble hiding my yawns. I was absolutely exhausted, and started drifting off while my head was resting on his arm.

I woke up when Jake got up to kick some sand over our small fire, and I went into the tent to get changed. I put on a comfy pair of shorts and had just slipped on a tank top when he unzipped the tent door and crawled inside. I turned around slightly to brush my hair while he got changed into a pair of shorts, and was trying to get it into a ponytail. I sighed in frustration when I couldn't do it. My hand just couldn't close on it tightly enough, and was sore from the effort of trying.

"Here, let me," Jacob said easily, taking my hair elastic. He ran his hands lightly through my hair, and easily put it into a neat ponytail.

"Wow, you're really good at that," I told him, surprised. He just shrugged.

"I used to have really long hair, so I've had plenty of practice." I smiled, remembering the picture he had showed me from before he had first phased. He had still been very handsome before he grew a foot and a half and tripled in size.

I curled up in my sleeping bag and got comfy while Jacob just lied down on top of his. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

**. . . . .**

I woke up again in the middle of the night. The temperature had dropped, and the tent was freezing, even with Jake inside of it. I looked over at him next to me.

Despite my habit of drifting off and falling asleep around him, I had never seen Jacob sleep before. His face was so relaxed, and I think he must have been having a good dream because I could almost see the corner of his mouth pulling up into a small smile. His bare chest rose and fell with his slow breathing, and the arm he had closest to me was bent and resting behind his head.

Very carefully, as to not wake him, I slid a little bit closer and laid my head on his chest. He didn't wake up, but his arm wrapped around me habitually, holding me to his side. I wrapped one arm around him, and fell asleep again, smiling, while listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

**. . . . .**

When I woke up I was in the exact same spot. There was a bright light filtering in through the fabric of the tent, and Jacob was lightly tracing designs on my back with a finger. I sat up, embarrassed.

"Good morning," he said with his usual smile.

"Sorry, it was just a little cold last night and…"

"Are you seriously apologizing for cuddling up next to me?" He asked in disbelief, then shook his head. "Belle, I don't think I've ever slept so well in my entire life. If I could, I would fall asleep with you in my arms every night."

My embarrassment disappeared, and was replaced by a smile. He was still lying on his back, watching me, so I leaned over and kissed him. I pulled away quickly though, remembering that I hadn't brushed my teeth yet.

"I think I'm going to walk down to the real bathrooms and take a shower," I told him, turning around and opening up my pack. I had a reusable fabric grocery bag in there, and I threw my toiletry bag in there with my sandals and a change of clothes.

"We'll drive down. I'll grab a quick shower too, and leave the car with you while I go rent a canoe." I laughed at his rhyme before I agreed.

There was a bit of a line for the showers, so I brushed and flossed my teeth thoroughly while I waited. The showers weren't great, but I was still thankful for them. I hopped back in the Rabbit when I was done, and drove it back to the campsite.

Jake still wasn't back yet, so I tidied up the tent while I waited, then sat and ate a granola bar on a rock next to the water. It was an amazing view, the water was still and calm, reflecting the big white clouds that filled the sky. In the distance across the river I could see the giant peak of Mount Rainier.

I packed us some food for the day, making almost a dozen sandwiches and cutting up a bunch of fruit, and sat down for another five minutes before I saw Jake come around the corner, paddling a long canoe. I had my camera in its water-proof carrying case flung over my shoulder, and I took it out to take a couple pictures as he glided closer to me over the water.

He hopped out of the boat easily when he came up to our campsite, and pulled it halfway up to shore. He walked up to me, putting one of his big hands on the side of my face.

"I didn't get to kiss you properly this morning. It was all I could think about the entire time I was gone," he said seriously. I smiled, sliding my hands over his shoulders and around his neck. His arms wrapped around me tightly before he leaned down and kissed me.

We both got distracted by that kiss, and held onto it for longer than usual. To be honest, I think I would have been happy to just stand there and kiss him for the rest of the week, I didn't need anything else. When he did straighten up, pulling away, I was reluctant to let him go.

"I should probably pack us some food for the day, so we can stay out a bit longer," he said, walking over to the car.

"Already done," I told him happily, pointing to the small collapsible cooler that was sitting in the shade on the picnic table. I went to go pick it up, but he stopped me and grabbed it himself, saying that he didn't want me to strain my hand. This brace was going to give me an awful tan line. He put the cooler into the canoe, and then came back for me.

He easily swept a hand behind my knees, making me fall into his arms. Laughing, he walked into the water and gently sat me down on one of the seats. He pushed the canoe into the water before hopping in himself.

I _loved_ it. I thought it was so much fun, gliding across the water almost silently. When I asked Jake if I could try paddling, he gave me a thoughtful look, then smiled indulgently when he handed one over.

I didn't get what that was about at first, until I realized how hard it was to hold the long handle properly with only one hand. I couldn't make a fist with the other. He tried not to laugh when I handed it back to him five minutes later.

I still had an excellent time though, watching Jake row the canoe and taking in the breath-taking scenery around us. On one side, we had the tall mountain, and the other side deep green forests. Jake had much better eye sight than I did, and pointed out little details around us that I would have otherwise missed. We saw herrings, deer, bears, even passed a loon on the water. It was so peaceful, nothing but the noise of the oar gently cutting through the water, or a bird calling off in the distance.

It was late afternoon when we found a small hidden sandbank along the shore, and we decided to step out and take a break before heading back. Once I heard the light scratch of sand against the bottom of the canoe Jake hopped out of the boat and pulled it forward. He came back and lent me a hand getting out of the boat; my legs were a little wobbly. He made sure it wouldn't get pulled back in, and then grabbed the blanket that I had been using as a chair cushion and the cooler.

We sat down on the blanket and had a little picnic. Jake demolished the sandwiches easily, and we lied out in the sun while our food digested. I had my eyes closed, smiling at the tingling sensation that the sun left on my face, so I didn't realize that Jacob had been looking at me. I felt his fingers slid through my hair, melting at the sensation of it, before I heard him speak.

"Your hair looks so red in the sun," he said quietly. There was so much emotion in those few words that I needed to open my eyes and see his face. He was propped up on one elbow, looking down at me. "You're so beautiful Belle."

I was having trouble reading his expression. I sat up a little worriedly, sliding even closer to him and placing both of my hands gently on his cheeks; I had taken my brace off for a little to let my skin breathe. His eyes almost looked sad. "Jake? What's wrong?"

He seemed to calm slightly at the sound of my voice, and rested one of his hands on top of mine while he smiled. "Nothing's wrong Belle. I've never been so happy in my life. We've never gotten to spend time together like this before, and I love it. I love waking up and having you right there next to me, and having you all to myself with no one to share you with. I want every day to be like this. I want it so much that it overwhelms me, and that just scares me a little bit."

I have never once heard Jacob say that he was scared of anything before. I loved this man so much, it was like he was a part of my soul. I needed him like a plant needs the sun to grow, so I understood how over whelming this love could be. I leaned in closer to him, our faces only inches apart as I held his face tightly.

"You don't need to be scared Jacob. I want this every bit as much as you do, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed him lightly on the lips. "I love you. There's nowhere in the world I would rather be than by your side."

"I want this forever though. I don't want to ever let you go," he whispered, eyes for some reason uncertain.

I _was_ certain though. "Then don't." I leaned in again and kissed him harder, and his lips responded instantly. His hand slid around to the back of my neck as I moved on top of him, just needing to be closer. My hands slid into his hair as his slid down my spine. I felt a couple drops of rain on my shoulders, that quickly multiplied. Within minutes it was pouring, and it only made me smile through the kiss, making us both laugh. We didn't stop though, something about the cool rain pouring down our faces just made his heat stand out more, and it triggered something inside of me. I gripped onto him more tightly, and his hands slid down my sides roughly before he pulled me against him even more firmly. I'm not sure just how long he had held me like that before we heard the quiet rumble of thunder off in the distance. It sent a shiver of excitement through me that was dampened when Jacob pulled away.

"I don't know how bad that storm's going to be, we should probably try to get back. We'll be safe if we stick close to the shore."

I nodded, a little disappointed, and helped him fold up the blanket before we went back to the boat. I regretted it quickly, without being protected by Jacob's warmth, the rain was ice cold. I tried to enjoy the scenery on the way back, but a lot of my concentration was spent on trying to prevent my teeth from chattering. I would have curled up in his lap again, but that would have made it pretty hard for him to row.

I wanted to be next to him so badly though. While Jacob concentrated on directing the canoe, I watched him. I've never wanted anything in the world more than I wanted to be with him. I loved everything about him; He was so strong and powerful, but even more gentle and kind. He was attentive and deep, funny and confident. I wanted everything with him, every single part of him. It was a need so powerful that it was painful.

We got back to our camp in less than half the time. Jacob quickly pulled the boat onto shore, and lifted me out. We both ran over to our tent, getting inside as quickly as we could.

"God Bells, you're soaked. I'm so sorry, I should have-"

He was cut off when I practically lunged at him. He was hunched over from the low ceiling of the tent, so it wasn't hard to reach his lips with mine. My arms wrapped around his neck , and one of his wrapped around my waist as he sat down on the air mattress, pulling me down with him. He felt so hot against my cold wet skin, and the closeness seemed to slightly ease the pain of my need for him. Not completely though, I wanted more. He was sitting up with me on top of him, so it wasn't difficult the reach the hem of his wet shirt and start to pull it up. He helped me pull it over his head, and dropped it on the floor. Before he went to reach for me again, I pulled my tank top over my head, throwing it on the floor behind me and smiling at him.

He had a hungry look in his eyes, but his face was uncertain. I kissed him again before he could speak. The feel of his hard stomach pressed up against mine was wonderful. A bolt of lightning flashed close by, lighting up the now dark tent, and the crash of thunder sounded soon after. The sound sent a shiver of desire through my body, and I'm certain that he felt it this time for what it was. His hands were everywhere; my hair, my neck, my ribs, my back and my stomach. I didn't want him to ever stop touching me. I couldn't keep mine still either, I loved the feel of his hard muscles underneath them as they slid over his arms, chest and stomach. I liked seeing him shiver as I slid a finger along the edge of his swimming trunks by his hip bone.

His hands paused at the edge of my denim shorts, the only thing that I was wearing over my bikini. His lips gently pulled away a fraction of an inch. "Your shorts are soaking wet Belle."

"Then maybe you should take them off," I whispered back daringly.

He smiled as he turned us around, laying me on my back as he towered over me. He trailed a light finger down my neck, over my chest between my breasts, and down my stomach. That finger easily popped the button on my shorts and slowly unzipped the small zipper. He used both hands, lightly tugging my shorts down, and I lifted my hips off the mattress to make it easier for him. He slid both of those hot hands up my legs, before crawling back over me and kissing me again. I gripped onto both of his arms as he held himself above me, as if he was afraid he would crush me. I wanted to be closer to him though, and he let me push him over and roll back on top of him happily. I laid against him, propping myself up with both of my hands on his chest while my lips traveled from his, along the curve of his strong jaw and down his neck. One of his hands held onto my side, and the other trailed up to my back. His finger seemed to catch on the sting of my bathing suit top, and he froze for a moment.

I pulled away slightly to look at him, and gave him an encouraging smile. "It's okay Jake. I'm ready."

His eyes went wide at those words, and he pulled back a bit more. "Are you sure Belle? You don't have to do this."

I sat up, and he propped himself up on his elbows. "I know I don't _have_ to Jacob. I _wan_t to." He watched me for a minute, maybe trying to make sure I was serious. I didn't look away from his gaze. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said in his deep voice. He still looked doubtful though. "Only if you're completely sure."

"I am," I tried to say confidently. I was a little nervous, but not enough to change my mind. There was one important thing that I couldn't over-look though. "Do you have any?..."

"I do," he said, his tone uncertain.

Doubt started to nag at me. "Do you not want to?"

He sat up quickly, taking my face in his hands. "Of course I do. More than anything, I just don't want you to regret anything."

"They only things I ever regret with you are the things I don't get to do," I told him truthfully.

His eyes softened as his face relaxed, then changed into something new as he smiled; excitement, and hunger.

I smiled back as he leaned forward and kissed me gently. That kiss slowly grew in strength. His hands wrapped around me again, and this time when one slid up my spine, he tugged on one of the strings of the bow that had tied my bathing suit. It came undone, and his fingers trailed up to the one around my neck and did the same. The top slipped off, and he threw it off to the side.

I paused, nervous again. He pulled back to look deeply into my eyes. He slowly picked me up without breaking that eye contact, and laid me down on my back again. He leaned back, and took a minute to look at me in the dim light. "You're so beautiful," he told me again, and the rough tone of his voice made me more confident. I smiled up at him, and he mirrored that look as he leaned forward to kiss me. His mouth slid over to my jaw. I could feel his breath in my ear, and it made me giggle lightly. His lips traveled down my neck, across my collar bone. One of his hands came up and cupped my breast, twisting my nipple slightly before his mouth came down upon it. I gasped at the feeling, and smiled as he switched over to the other one. His tongue flicked out against my hard peaks, his fingers keeping the other occupied. He moved his lips into a slow trail of kisses down my stomach, and I gasped softly as he kissed along my hip bone. I opened my eyes, and met his as he slowly hooked a finder into the waist of my bathing suit shorts and pulled them down.

I lifted my legs when he pulled the trunks up and tossed them behind them, and he caught my ankle with his hand. He trailed his lips up my leg and as he lowered it to one side of him. He paused for the shortest moment, and I felt so exposed; completely naked before him, his face hovering above my mound. He watched my face as he slowly slid one hand all the way up my other leg, and rested his hand gently on my stomach. His other hand slowly stroked down between my folds, parting them. My head fell back as I pulled in a sharp breath. He slid that finger, slowly and gently, between my folds, steadily increasing in speed. My breathing became fast as he flicked at my bud, and I squirmed under is touch. His hand pressed down a little more firmly as he held me open with his fingers, and slowly swept his tongue over that sensitive point. I moaned louder in approval, the sound muffled by another crash of thunder. I felt like Jacob's heat was running through him, and traveling right through into me as he flicked me with his tongue. I couldn't stay still; it was too much and not enough.

I felt his face pull away, but his finger was still there taking the place of his tongue once again, and I just couldn't open my eyes. "God, it is so sexy seeing you squirm like that." His finger slid down, then slowly slid inside of me.

"Oh, Jacob!" I had always known that he had big hands, but they felt even bigger inside of me. I felt his tongue at work again as he slowly slid his finger in and out of me. I couldn't take it anymore, I need him.

"Please Jacob," I said quietly, shuddering from the pleasure. He lifted his head, and met my pleading eyes. God, those eyes were smouldering. Just looking at them sent a new flash of heat through my body. He must have been able to see the need in my eyes, but then again, he always knew what I needed. He stood up slowly, and pulled down his shorts.

I gasped, and he seemed to approve of my reaction as he grinned. He was _very_ proportionate, and I was suddenly very nervous and very excited. I couldn't help smiling back at him. He was breath-taking.

Jacob sank back down to his knees between my legs, and reached into his bag behind him. He looked into my eyes as he put it on, then leaned forward over me again, kissing me passionately. One of his arms was propping himself up on his elbow beside my head, and the other was between us. I slid my hands up onto his broad shoulders. We looked into each other's eyes while he pressed his member against my bud, and slowly slid himself in small circles around it. I gripped onto him a little more tightly. He seemed to ask my permission once more with his eyes, and I nodded.

He slowly slid himself inside of me, moaning loudly as he filled me. I winced when I felt the sharp pain inside me, and even though I had been expecting it, I felt a single tear roll down the side of my face. Jacob stayed very still.

"Are you okay? I can stop," he said, voice filled with concern.

"No, I'm okay. It hurts, but it feels so good," I said, and I could feel myself clenching at him inside of me. He kissed me again, and slowly started to pull out. My nails dug into his shoulders, and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he pushed in again very slowly.

It hurt less and less, and within minutes there was nothing but pure pleasure. He moved in and out of me with a slowly growing pace, and went deeper and deeper. When my back arched, he slid his free arm underneath me. I wanted him to hold me tighter, to push into me harder, and was pleased when he did. He lifted me off of the ground, and pulled me up against his chest. The new angle brought on a completely new sensation. He held onto my hips tightly with both hands while I gripped tightly onto his arms, and he lifted me up and down on top of him, guiding my hips until they found their own rhythm. He gladly let me take over when I wanted to, and I used his shoulders to support myself as I slid up and down him, and rocked my hips when he was deep inside me. My moans came faster and faster, and I could tell that he was close too. One of his fingers slid back between us, lightly pinching my bud, and I shouted out his name as the giant wave of pleasure overtook me. He pulled out of me, and we both fell back on the mattress, breathing heavily. He rolled over me quickly, and was kissing me everywhere. My face, my neck, my breasts, my stomach. I felt like I had melted, and barely had the energy to move.

"Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" Jacob asked me, taking my face in his hands again. I opened my eyes, and smiled happily at him.

"Jacob… that was amazing. I've never felt better in my life," I told him honestly. He smiled in relief and happiness. "Was it… okay for you?"

"Okay is the worst understatement of the century. That was… incredible. Words don't do the feeling justice. I love you so much Isabella."

"I love you too Jacob." He slid his arms around me, holding me firmly against his chest, and I drifted off quickly surrounded by his warmth.

**. . . . .**

I woke up the next morning to the sound of rain pattering the roof of the tent. The air was cool, but my naked body was completely warm curled up against Jacob. I was half on top of him, my head resting just above his heart, and he held me there with his arms wrapped around me. I wanted to sit up to stretch without waking him, but even in his sleep his strength was too much for me. I went to push a little harder against him, and woke him up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I said shyly. He yawned and sat up as I did. I stretched out my arms happily, popping one of my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, I noticed him watching me with a devilish smile on his face, and desire rippled through me as I saw just how happy he was. With a sudden surge of confidence, I leaned forward to kiss him, and slowly slid my hand down his shaft. He moaned against my lips.

"I never got to properly thank you for last night," I said seductively, and he shivered as I leant forward and flicked my tongue over his swollen head. I wrapped by hands around his base, and gently slid them up and down, gripping on tighter as I moved faster and took him in my mouth.

"Oh God, Belle," he said thickly. I didn't stop when he sat up, but I jolted upright in surprise and pleasure as he slipped a finger inside of me. I was already wet.

He laughed, and the deep sound sent excitement through me. He pushed me back so that I fell on the bed, and his finger moved in and out of me while his thumb rolled in quick circles around my bud. I twitched underneath him as he continued his work, and opened my eyes to find him watching me with a pleased smile. I felt heat flood my face.

He had already slipped on a condom, and I smiled back at him as he spread my legs and moved between them, shouting out when he slid into me again. He held my waist off of the ground as he pushed into me over and over, the both of us moaning. Just like the night before, when he was ready, he lightly pinched my bud so that we finished in unison. Five minutes later, when his breathing had calmed, I jumped onto him again.

By the time we had finished the second time, both of our stomachs were growling angrily. I was relived, feeling deliciously sore. The humidity in the tent was becoming a little too much for me too, and I really wanted a shower. We each munched on an apple as we drove down to the other side of the campground. The place seemed completely deserted, so I didn't object when Jacob pulled me into the shower room with him.

I let him wash my hair, almost purring from the feeling of his fingers rubbing my scalp. We had covered each other in soap, and the feeling of our hands slipping against each other's bodies had the same effect on both of us. Maybe sensing that I was sore though, Jacob kept his touches gentle and sweet, holding me lovingly as he brought me over the edge with his fingers and soft kisses.

**. . . . .**

It wasn't even noon, and I was already completely exhausted. Jacob seemed completely fine though, and left me at the camp while he went to return the canoe. I cleaned up our tent, just making one big bed instead of two small ones, and dried up all of the mud and water we had dragged in, then hung up our wet clothes from yesterday on the line under the tarp. I left the doors open, only closing the screen so it could cool off, before I started making some lunch.

Jacob came back as soon as I was finishing, and ran over to kiss me as soon as he could see me, making me blush and laugh loudly. We couldn't do much with the pouring rain, and I didn't want to stay cooped up in the hot tent, so we sat together at the picnic table, ate food and played cards. We played every game we could think of with only two people, and it never really got boring. It was hard to stay away from him though, I felt like if I wasn't touching him then he was too far away. It seemed like he felt the same way, always sneaking little kisses, holding my hand, brushing hair away from my face, resting his hand on my leg. I had always felt connected to Jacob, but now, it was just so strong. I wanted this week to last forever; the idea of going home and being away from him for even a night was suffocating.

When the sun started to set, it seemed to pull the clouds away with it. All of our wood was soaked, so we decided to take a long walk to the welcoming station to get some more. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as we walked at a leisurely pace. Jacob had his hands in his pockets, and I had one arm linked through his. I was sad to let him go once we got the wood, but he wouldn't let me carry any.

It was really dark by the time we got back, the only light coming from the scattered, flickering fires from the other campers, and the half-moon in the sky above us. I should have brought my flashlight. Jacob was able to warn me about holes in the road still, and I was kind of jealous about his heightened senses.

He was able to start a fire quickly, and I got changed into a comfy pair of shorts and a soft cotton camisole while he was busy. We went through another pack of hotdogs that night, and half a bag of marshmallows.

Jacob kept me secure in his lap the entire time. I was just too tired to keep my eyes open for long though. I must have drifted off; I was watching the dancing flames, and it felt like I had only blinked and there was nothing but low burning embers. Jacob kissed my hair when he realized I had woken up, before letting me stand. I helped him kick some sand on the embers before we both walked over to the tent.

I slid into the bed, kicking off my shoes, and watched as Jacob pulled of his shirt and jeans, before crawling into bed next to me in his shorts. He stretched out an arm for me, and I smiled as I cuddled up next to him. I kissed him on the cheek, and then rested my head on his shoulder.

**. . . . .**

We packed up the camp the next day, storing everything but the empty tent in the car. We were going to go hiking, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I emptied out my new hiking pack, and we put everything we needed into it because it was easier to carry than Jacob's.

I was worried that Jacob would get frustrated with my slow pace, but he remained calm and patient the entire time. He stayed close to my side, holding my hand and helping me over fallen trees and up rocks. He caught me every single time I tripped. I was out of breath by the time we stopped late in the afternoon for a break, but even with the heavy pack on his back, Jacob seemed completely fine. It was maddeningly frustrating, and Jacob seemed to catch on to my mood.

"We can go back if you're not enjoying this. I really don't mind." He tried to say it gently, but his words just made it worse. I didn't like feeling weak. I was about to say something witty and sharp, but when I looked over at him and saw his worried expression, I bit back my retort and sighed. This wasn't his fault, he was just trying to give me a fun vacation.

I sighed. "No, I'm fine. Sorry, it's just a little frustrating not being able to keep up, it makes me feel weak, and I hate that. I am enjoying it, it's so beautiful out here, but this can't be much fun for you." I rested my head in my hands sadly.

He moved closer to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I am having fun. I don't care how slow we walk as long as you're there walking with me." I looked up at him sadly. I appreciated his words, but they didn't make me feel much better. A sudden smile broke out across his face. I practically saw the figurative light bulb turn on above his head. "I do have an idea, if you want to get there faster," he said.

I was instantly intrigued by his change in mood. "How?"

"I could give you a ride," he said cheerfully.

"You giving me a piggy-back isn't going to help Jake," I said, rolling my eyes.

"But I thought you wanted to see how I ran. You asked before when I told you about it."

The memory flashed quickly in my mind; Jacob telling me about his love for running in the woods, the feel of the leaves and twigs snapping under the weight of his giant paws. My mood immediately flipped, and now I was excited and nervous. His smile got wider when he saw the change.

"Are you sure I won't be too heavy?"

He rolled his eyes. "I can barely feel your weight when I carry you in this form, you'll feel light as a feather in my other one. You'd have to carry the hiking pack though…"

"Sure, I don't mind," I said happily. We packed up our things, and Jacob secured the bag to my back. He ran off into the woods, and came back a minute later, carrying his clothes in his mouth. I took them from him, and laughed we he tried to play tug-a-war with me. It was just so… canine. When he finally let go, I rolled the clothes up, and stuck them into the side of my bag behind me.

I paused and looked at him for a moment, not sure of what to do. He laid down on the ground, watching me as he did so, and let out a small bark. I took that as my cue to hop on. I climbed up onto his massive back, being careful not to tug too hard on his fur. I settled in behind his shoulder blades, and gripped onto his neck. His fur was so soft.

"Is this okay?" I asked uncertainly. He nodded, and slowly started to walk. He increased his speed gradually, and after about five minutes, I kind of felt like I was traveling on a motorcycle. A _really fast_ motorcycle. The trees zipped past us in a green blur, and the force of the wind sent my hair flying out behind me. It was so much fun, I couldn't help my laughter. After a while he slowed down to a more reasonable speed, and I figured he had just wanted to show off. He was still going pretty fast, but now I could distinguish the individual trees of the forest we traveled through. I could also tell that we weren't on the trail anymore, but I trusted that Jake knew where he was taking me. Besides, the sun was now falling close to the horizon on my right, so I knew we were still going south.

"Hey Jake, can you hear the others from here?" I asked curiously. I wasn't sure exactly how strong their mind connection thing was.

Jacob barked, and I leaned around to try and see hit face. If wolves could smile, this is what it would look like.

I laughed, "Is this a one bark for yes and two barks for no sort of system?"

Another happy bark.

"That is _so_ cool. Hey guys! And Leah if your there!" I laughed loudly, and felt my face go really red. I hoped Jake was thinking about something other than yesterday. I tried not to think about it too much.

It didn't feel like we had been running long when Jacob slowed to a stop. We had stumbled across a small grassy bank alongside of the river. I slid off of Jacob's back once I realized that we were stopping here. I handed him his clothes, scratching behind his ear before he took them from me with his mouth and trotted back out to the forest.

I couldn't get one of the buckles undone, so I was still stuck in the hiking pack when he came back. He effortlessly clicked it open, and lifted it off of me. He set it on the ground, and firstly pulled out the blankets. He handed them to me, and I laid one of them down on the soft grass for us to sit on. We had another feast of peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwiches, along with a big container of cut up celery and carrot sticks.

"So, that really didn't freak you out at all?"

"Are you joking? It was amazing! I've never been on a motor cycle or roller coaster before, but I imagine it would be sort of the same sensation. Very cool."

"Wow. The guys got a kick out of hearing you talk to them like that."

"Was it annoying? Trying to run with someone clinging to your back like that?"

"Not at all, I really liked it too. I could barely feel your weight, but it felt nice having your arms wrapped around my neck."

I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck now. I was very much aware that it had been more than a day since that memorable morning, and I definitely was not sore anymore. He hadn't been avoiding me in the slightest, but still didn't try to push for more than holding me and sneaking a few kisses. It kind of gave me mixed signals.

We hadn't set a fire, because we didn't really need the light. The moon was so bright, and the light doubled from its reflection over the river. I could easily see Jacob's face, and he seemed happy. His lips pulled up slightly in both corners, the constant little grin that he seemed to always wear. He caught me watching him, and the grin turned into a more prominent smile. He slid over, tucking me under his arm and holding me right up against his side. I shivered slightly when a cool breeze hit my exposed arm, and he looked down at me in concern.

"I'm fine," I told him, and rubbed the goose bumps off of my arm. He shook his head slightly, and pulled me onto his lap, encircling me in his arms. I smiled happily up at him, and he laughed before leaning down to kiss me.

His lips were gentle as they touched mine, and after a moment when he didn't pull away, I leaned into him. The arm that was behind my back wrapped firmly around my waist, and my lips smiled against his. His light chuckle excited me, and he held me a little more tightly as I kissed him harder.

He let me go for a moment when I pulled up at the bottom of his shirt. He lifted up his arms for me to slide it off, but they were so long that I had to straighten up on my knees to get it off. I was right in between his legs, and he kissed my collarbone that was hovering in front of his face.

I slowly slid my fingers down his raised arms with a pleased smile. He seemed to like my appreciation, and slowly lowered them, sliding them down my shoulders and along my ribs to my waist. He paused for a moment at the hem of my shirt, and I raised my own arms so he could slide if off. I lowered my arms, and his hand slid down my spine, unsnapping my bra easily. I smiled at him, looking deep into his eyes, as I slid off the straps and tossed it on the grass beside our blanket. I was still standing on my knees, and I was looking down on him slightly. He let out a small sound that sounded almost like a growl, and it sent a rush of heat into my face. His hands slid up my ribs, cupping each of my breasts. I dropped my head back slightly, and couldn't hide my smile of pleasure as his thumbs traces small circle around my nipples. One of his hands slid to the small of my back, pulling my body against his, and his tongue took its place. He circled and flicked it, and bit down on it lightly after sucking it into his mouth, and I let out a happy moan. His mouth scattered kisses all over my chest, as his hands slid down and unbuttoned my shorts, sliding them down my legs with my panties. I lifted each of my knees to kind of step out of them, and he dropped them in the small pike with the rest of my clothes.

If I had seen myself like this a year ago, I wouldn't have recognized myself in the slightest. Jacob had changed me so completely. Or maybe healed would be a better word. He gave me confidence in myself with his love and devotion to me. I don't know how other people could expose themselves like this to others without the complete trust and love that Jacob and I had for each other.

I loved the look of appreciation in his eyes as he inspected my body. The pale, bright light of the moon gave a magical quality to everything, and I felt like I was in a dream as his hands and mouth seemed determined to touch and kiss every inch of my skin. He stopped for a moment, and I watched as he removed his own pants before returning to where he had been. He started kissing my breasts again, and his hands rubbed firmly up and down my bare legs and hips. When his hands gripped onto my sides, I let out a small moan of pleasure from the tightness, and he lifted me onto his lap. My legs spread a little as he lowered me, so that I was kneeling on his legs. He took my nipple into his mouth again as his hands relaxed, and slid down to my legs.

I trebled slightly as they got closer and closer to where I wanted them, and shuddered when his finger parted my folds. He slid it up and down lightly, and my body shook more, I was so wet as he slipped up and down, then started to tease that most sensitive spot in gentle circles. I opened my eyes and stared into his, who had been watching me happily. I tried to speak through them, telling him what I wanted. What I needed. He looked down, his hands still steadily at work, and I saw the condom on the ground by his knee. I picked it up, and ripped open the package.

He guided my shaking hand down his thick shaft as I slid it on, and when I straightened back up, I could feel him hot against my leg. He slipped a finger inside of me, and then pulled it out and started rubbing again. I shivered again, then slid my hand in between us. He steadied my hips as I centered myself above him. Very slowly, I lowered myself onto him, pulling him in deeper and deeper. I paused for a moment, opening my eyes to look into his as I just enjoyed the sensation of him filling me. I slipped my hands onto his shoulders, and didn't break eye contact as I raised myself with my thighs, and lowered myself onto him again, sliding down his body.

"Jacob." I didn't have words for this feeling, this overwhelming happiness. His name was the only word that fit it. I think he could understand what I meant. I could see it in his eyes too, and I kept sliding up and down his body, slowly increasing my speed, but it changed when he heard me say his name. He pulled my hips into him, pushing himself as deep inside me as he could, and held himself there as he picked us up, and laid me on the ground. He held up my hips, and I clutched at the grass on either side of me as he held me tightly, and thrust himself in and out of me. I felt like his giant hands would wrap all the way around me, and his strength excited me. Nothing could ever be this good. My moans came louder and faster as he increased his speed. I whimpered and wiggled as his thumb slid over my bud and he moaned loudly as we came together.

He wasn't done though, and as he laid me back down he bent my legs. He pulled them apart widely, exposing myself to him completely. He leaned forward, and I gasped as he flicked at me with his tongue. He sucked and nibbled on me, then dipped one of his large fingers inside of me. He curved it in and out of me while he licked me, increasing his speed as I shouted out his name. I heard him open another wrapper while I came again, and my insides clenched at him tightly as he entered me. He paused inside of me, and I met his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, please don't stop," I begged him, panting. He obliged, slowly pulling out of me then thrusting back in quickly. My legs wrapped around his waist as tightly as they could, and my whole body trembled as he thrust into me roughly.

I came again twice before he finished, and clutched at him tightly as he fell onto the blanket next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair, and held me tightly against him while we both tried to calm our breathing. It didn't take him as long, and he placed gentle kisses all over my face and hair while I trembled, whispering my name and telling me that he loved me. I finally caught my breath, and I looked into his worried eyes.

"Are you okay? Was that too rough?"

I laughed, and smiled ruefully at him when I met his eyes again. "God Jacob, that was just too amazing. I never wanted to stop."

He rolled on top of me, pinning me down on my back and kissing me. I wrapped my shaking hands around his neck lightly.

I pulled away first. I just felt too hot, and I was sweating. Jacob offered a dip in the river, and I accepted happily. He stood up, and I admired his naked body for a moment before accepting his hand to help me up. As soon as I was on my feet, I fell over.

He caught me of course, and I couldn't help laughing again. "Jacob, I don't think I can walk," I told him. My legs felt like rubber. I looked up, and that worry was on his face again. He laughed too after seeing my amused expression, and scooped me up into his arms, carrying me into the water. I squealed as we dropped in from the shock of the cold, but as long as I was touching Jacob the cold wasn't too much. I felt better quickly after dunking my head under the water a couple times, and smiled at him happily as I waded back into his arms.

"Are you sure you're okay Belle?" He asked me again. I was still shaking, my body was just exhausted.

"Jake, if I had the option, I'd like to spend the rest of the summer not being able to walk like this." He threw his head back with laughter.

"I would definitely have no objection to that."

"How many did you bring?" I asked him a little worriedly.

He laughed again, shaking his head. "I didn't actually pack them… I didn't want to presume anything. When I opened my trunk though, I had found that Embry had stuffed a giant box of them in my trunk as a joke."

I joined him his laughter. Yeah, I could see Embry doing that, or maybe Paul. "Well, jokes on him I guess." He smiled, and leaned down to kiss me again.

He carried me back out of the water, and helped me keep my balance as we toweled off. We laid back onto our blanket, and Jake threw the second one over us as he curled up behind me. He folded one arm underneath my head that I used as a pillow, and the other one wrapped around my waist, holding me against him. I threaded my fingers through his, and fell asleep easily surrounded by his warmth.

**. . . . .**

It was a wonderful feeling waking up that morning. I had slept like the dead, and felt refreshed and relaxed. Jacob was snoring lightly behind me, still holding me tightly in his sleep. When I opened my eyes against the bright sunlight, there was a sparking river surrounded by green right in front of me.

I managed to disentangle myself from his hold without waking him up this time, and snuck into the woods to do my business. He was still asleep when I came back, and I watched him with a small smile. I waited a bit, but my craving for his company made me impatient. I decided to wake him up, and slipped under the blanket. His response was instant, and he woke up with a happy moan, and flipped the blanket off at us. He looked down at me, and I smiled back up at him devilishly. He grinned, sitting up quickly, and pulling me to his lips.

We kept each other thoroughly entertained for a couple of hours, until both of our stomachs were angrily hungry. We cleaned ourselves off in the river again, and Jake gave me a ride back to the camp.

**. . . . .**

It was just after noon when we got back, and I started a fire while he unpacked the car. Jake cooked us hamburgers on a grate over our fire for lunch. I was starving, but tapped out during my third, and Jake finished it happily for me. We were both too stuffed to move afterwards, and just sat back in the sun for a while.

We had to go out for more ice that afternoon so our food would keep, taking the car so it wouldn't melt on the long walk back. Once we got back to our campsite, we practically ran to the tent, pulling our shirts off before we were even inside. We didn't leave for the rest of the afternoon, not even wanting to stop to eat again.

**. . . . .**

I just couldn't stay away from him, I needed his touch like I needed the air to breath. But we couldn't just stay in the hot tent for the rest of the week, so the next day we went to the beach. It was only an hour walk away, and we took our time and held hands the entire day.

The beach was crowded, so I tried to behave myself. It was hard though, watching him run around through the water without a shirt on. We stayed in the water until our fingers turned to prunes, and laid out in the sun to dry. I was very deliberate with my sunscreen application, refusing to let a burn ruin my vacation. Jacob seemed more than happy to rub the lotion on my back too.

The next day we went fishing. The river was filled with them, and we caught many but only kept a few. Jacob was impressed with my ability to de-scale, fillet and debone a fish, but I had done it many times before.

Saturday came way too quickly, and we both felt it. I didn't want to go home; I wanted to stay here with him for the rest of the summer. We didn't make any plans for the day, and just relaxed alone in our little bubble of happiness. After we had some lunch, I curled up in his lap instead of sitting back in my own chair. He embraced me happily, and I put both of my hands on his face and kissed him urgently. I was starting to panic as more minutes passed by. I felt a tear streak down my face, and laughed at how ridiculous I was being.

He pulled away, and looked deeply into my eyes. He didn't need to ask me what was wrong, he just knew how I felt. He lifted me up slowly, and carried me into the tent.

He laid me down, and unbuttoned my shirt. I sat up to pull it off, and he gently pushed me back down. He slid his palm down my torso, over my breasts and then down my stomach, then hooked a finger into my jeans and un-popped the button. He slowly slid those off too. I wanted to pull off his shirt for him, but he seemed to want me to stay still, and I did my best to oblige him. Instead I asked him with my eyes, and he slipped that off too.

He took his time removing my bra and panties. And my breathing was hard as he slowly covered my entire body in soft kisses. His intensity moved me, and I melted under his touch.

When he finally made his way between my legs, I was already wet. He pinched and licked me lightly until I was squirming under him. He met my eyes as he held himself over me, and I smiled at him lovingly. He smiled back and met my lips with his as he slowly slid inside of me. My arms wrapped around his back, and he growled as my nails dug into his skin. The sound sent a shiver down my spine, and I held on tighter.

He look it very slowly that first time, and it was very sensual. Our eye contact made it so much more intense, and I felt like he was looking into my soul, reading my mind and he pushed in and out. It was very beautiful, but not long after I wanted more.

I trailed my fingertips over his arms, his shoulders, I traced every one of the hard muscles on his stomach slowly, wanting to commit every inch of him to my memory. He shivered as I raked my nails lightly over his legs, and he twitched in excitement.

I didn't need his help this time as I slid the condom onto him, and he watched me with intense eyes as I straddled him, and lowered myself onto him. I rested my hands on his abdomen to steady myself as I slowly rocked up and down him. As my pleasure increased, so did my speed, and he moaned and clutched at my thighs while I rode him. He slipped a finger between my folds to, rubbing small circles around me, and I shuddered and clenched at him inside of me while I climaxed. He smiled at me, and flipped me onto my back quickly, never pulling out. He was able to move much more quickly than I was, and it was only a minute before I came again, and again from his rough speed. Yes, I liked this much better. I shouted out his name again and again, and he laid me down and teased my breasts while he continued to move in me. I couldn't even think any more, there was nothing but pleasure, and I lost track of everything.

We took a short break, but definitely made the most of our last day, barely able to pull away from each other.

It was late at night, and I was straddling his lap, shaking as he lifted me up and down himself. He was watching my facial expressions as I writhed in ecstasy.

"I love you so much Isabella," he whispered thickly.

I put both of my hands on his face, smiling as a tear rolled out of the corner of my eye. "I love you too Jacob, more than anything."

**. . . . .**

It didn't take long enough to pack up our camp the next day, and I did so with a sad expression. After I handed Jake the last chair to stuff in his trunk, he picked me up, and sat me on the closed trunk of his car. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding onto him tightly. He kissed the top of my head, and rubbed my back firmly.

"I know, I don't want to go back either babe. It'll be fine though. This was only the beginning, we have the whole summer."

I nodded, and he gave me a tight squeeze before kissing me. It ended too quickly, and he helped me down from the car. I gave the site one last wistful glance, and then joined my boyfriend in the Rabbit.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	9. Chapter Nine: My Everything

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**There are a lot of jumps in time in this chapter. I'm sorry, but this was always going to happen.**

**Chapter Nine :: My Everything**

**Isabella**

It was difficult getting back into my routine once Jacob dropped me off. I was happy to see Charlie again, I hadn't had time to realize how much I missed him, but I was constantly distracted by the memory of Jacob's skin against mine, of how complete I felt when he was inside of me…

"Earth to Bells? I think your eggs are done," Charlie said. I had woken up early, it wasn't easy to sleep without Jacob's arms around me, so I came down to make Charlie breakfast before he left for work. There was smoke coming off of the burnt eggs in the pan in front of me.

"Crap, sorry Charlie, I wasn't paying attention." He told me not to worry about it, saying he'd pick something up on the way to work, and gave me a quick hug before he left.

I cleaned up my mess in the kitchen, and then decided to vacuum the floors and tidy up the house before I jumped in the shower. It felt nice to be in my own bathroom again, and the thought lightened my mood as I took my time under the running water. I dressed nicely, putting on a denim skirt and a pretty white camisole, then blow-dried my hair carefully before making some lunch. I paid closer attention this time, and was happy to be cooking on my familiar stove again too. After I ate, I packed up two containers and drove over to Jacob's work a little too quickly.

I had worried slightly that Jacob might have been sick of me after being stuck with me for an entire week, and that maybe I should give him some space for a bit, but he was waiting outside for me when I pulled up, and ran over to my truck to meet me. His bright smile made every worry fade away, and I threw open my truck door, jumping into his arms.

He caught me easily, and held onto me tightly, pressing my back against my truck as he kissed me roughly. I smiled against his lips. "God Belle, I missed you so much. I can't think about anything else," he said, resting his forehead against mine.

"Me too, I couldn't sleep without you next to me, and I burnt Charlie's breakfast this morning while I was thinking of you," I said with a suggestive smile.

He laughed, finding it hard to believe that I was capable of ruining a dish, and I was flattered. My legs were still dangling underneath me, and I informed him that I brought him lunch so he would set me down.

I walked in and said hello to Neal, handing him over a plate before we went back to sit in my truck while Jake ate. He seemed torn between wanting to eat and wanting to hold me. So he inhaled the food, and then pulled me across the bench into his lap to kiss me.

He moaned when Neal honked a horn inside the garage a while later. "I guess I should get back to work before he fires me," he said sadly. "Can I come over after work?"

"Of course, do you want to stay for dinner?" He said yes, so I swung by the grocery store on the way back. I kept myself busy for the afternoon, making a mushroom stuffing for my chicken breasts, then hammering them out and rolling them up. I made a huge salad too, and was just sticking it into the fridge when the doorbell rang, and Jacob came in. I ran over to the door, and he smiled when he saw me in my apron. We looked at each other for only a moment, before I ran over into his arms and he lifted me to his lips. He kicked off his boots while we kissed, and I wrapped my legs around him as he walked us over to the couch. He dropped back on it, keeping me onto of him.

**. . . . .**

We barely broke apart from each other to breathe, and it felt like only minutes had passed when Jacob sat up quickly, taking me with him, and told me that Charlie had just pulled into the driveway. I barely got off of him in time as he opened the front door, and I picked my apron up off the floor as I dashed into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Jake," Charlie said easily as he walked in.

"Hey Charlie, how've you been?" He asked, completely at ease. I didn't know how he did it; my heart was still pounding in my ears as I slipped the chicken into the oven.

"Not bad, work's been quiet. How was your camping trip?"

"It was awesome, really nice park. The fish were great."

"Oh yeah? Harry and I wanted to go on a fishing trip soon, maybe we'll check it out."

Dinner didn't take long to cook, and we all sat to eat in the living room since it was cooler. The oven had quickly turned the kitchen into a greenhouse.

Charlie was distracted by his TV, and I curled into Jacob's side happily while we held each others' hands. I wanted so much more, but was happy just to be near him.

**. . . . .**

The week got easier, and I occupied my time by hanging out with Angela and Leah during the days, visiting Jacob during his lunch breaks, and tending my garden. I had to do some damage control on the patch when I got back, if it hadn't rained while I'd been gone they would probably all be dead. After a couple of days of regular watering and some plant food, they perked right back up though.

My weekends were completely Jacob's though. We'd go on little road trips and hikes, he took me to movies, dinners, and even to an amusement park. We rode the roller coasters over and over again, screaming until we lost our voices. We never got to be close like we had been on our little vacation, the opportunity just never came up, but as long as I was by his side I was the definition of happy.

My love for him grew more and more every day. Sometimes when I was alone and thought about him, it was overwhelming how much I cared for him. Surely no one has ever loved someone as much as I loved Jacob, and I knew without a doubt that he loved me every bit as much as I did him.

**. . . . .**

After a couple of weeks, Charlie took Jacob's advice and went on a fishing trip with Harry for a long weekend. The house was mine.

Jacob said he'd be over at ten, so I had plenty of time to get ready. I had a long shower, and then made my hair as smooth and straight as I could. I had gone shopping with Angela and Leah the other day, and stopped at Victoria's secret. So when the doorbell rang, I was lying on my side in soft, violet coloured silk lingerie on my bed. It was almost like a camisole, but made out of a very see-though lace, and came with adorable matching panties that were ruffled on the sides. Jacob let himself in after he had knocked.

"I'm upstairs, can you come help me with something for a sec?" I said in the most casual voice that I could muster.

I heard him take the steps two at a time, and he quickly made it to my doorway, where he froze. His eyes were wide as he took me in, and I could see his excitement. I smiled at him, waving him forward with a finger.

His smile was devilish, and he ripped his shirt off, kicked off his pants, and hopped onto the bed beside me, heavy enough to make me bounce off of the mattress for a moment.

"God, I've been waiting for this for too long," he growled, and started kissing my neck. His hands slid over my silky top, and then went underneath it as he pulled it off. His mouth went immediately to my breasts, and I moaned happily. Once he was done, he left a trail of kisses down my stomach, and along the line of my panties before he slipped those off too. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and his tongue dipped inside of me. He teased me until I couldn't take it anymore, and begged him to enter me. He obliged happily, lifting up my hips and sliding inside of me quickly. One of his hands supported my lower back, and the other one rested on my stomach while he worked. I asked him to go harder, and faster, and shouted out when he obliged. He didn't stop when I came the first time, or the second, and by the time he joined me in the third, pinching me so that we finished together I'm pretty sure the entire town had heard us.

We spent the entire three days like that, only stopping for necessities like food and the bathroom. We couldn't even bare to leave each other in the shower. The strength of my desire scared me a little. He was my everything, and now the thought of going off to school scared me. How would I survive being away from him for so long? It was too painful to even bring up, so I tried to push it aside to deal with later.

**. . . . .**

It was so hot as we drove over to Emily's. I hadn't seen her nearly as much as I should have over the past few weeks, but my needs had been elsewhere. I was slightly hanging my head out of the car while Jacob drove.

He held my hand as we walked up the steps, and the smell of fish hit me as soon as he opened up the door. I ran over to the bathroom and threw up. Emily ran in after me when I told Jacob to leave me alone, and she held my hair. The nausea passed quickly, and five minutes later I felt completely fine.

"I'm so sorry Emily, I think I have a bit of a bug. My stomachs been acting up a little the past couple days."

"Don't worry about it Belle, it happens to the best of us. The human ones, anyways," she joked, making me laugh. She gave me a bottle of mouth wash while she left to open the windows in the kitchen. Jacob was waiting outside the bathroom door for me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you," I told him guiltily.

"It's okay babe. Are you feeling better? Do you want me to take you home, or to the doctor's?"

"No, I feel fine now. I think the smell of the fish just got to me for a moment." It took a little while to convince him, but he eventually accepted it and led me back to the others.

**. . . . .**

I got sick again the next morning, and the morning afterwards also. It never lasted long, but I was starting to get a little worried. I couldn't think of anything that I ate to have caused it. I walked past my desk, and glanced at my calendar.

It still had the month of July on it, so I ripped off the paper and went to crumple it, but something caught my attention. The four red dots that had marked my last period. I looked over to today's date in August, and realized I was two weeks late.

That happened sometimes though, I wasn't always that regular. And Jacob and I _always_ used protection. My stomach's weird behaviour tugged at my mind though.

There was no need to panic, I could just buy a test and make sure, put my mind at ease. But when I thought about the Chief of Police's daughter walking into the small-town store and buying a pregnancy test, I felt my face pale.

I would be sad to miss lunch with Jacob, but I decided this was more important. I grabbed my purse, jumped in my car, and drove for two hours to another town and bought one there.

I was pacing back and forth along the floor in the bathroom, counting the seconds in my head and trying to prevent myself from looking at the test sitting on the counter. I counted an extra minute just to be on the safe side, before I finally made myself look.

"+ 4 weeks" it read. I stared at it, disbelieving for a long minute, before I threw up again.

**. . . . .**

_Oh god oh god. What am I going to do? How did this happen?_

I watched as Charlie packed up the trunk of Harry's car, forcing myself to take my hand off of my abdomen again. Ever since I had found out four hours ago, I kept instinctively raising my hand to lay it over my flat stomach. I couldn't see any physical difference, but I was very much aware that there was another human being inside of me. Jacob's child, _our_ child.

There had been four tests in the box, and I did them all, so I was pretty certain. I should probably go to a doctor, or at least look for a book to tell me _when_ I should go see a doctor. But first, I needed to tell Jacob. I still had no idea how I was supposed to do that, or more importantly how he would react.

I had had plenty of time to think of other things though. I would be eighteen in a couple of weeks, and then I would be able to fully provide for myself. I wanted to keep my baby, of that I was completely sure. I was also sure in the fact that Jacob truly loved me, and I doubted he would leave me, but even if he did, and even if Charlie kicked me out, we would be okay.

I waved as they drove off, and before I closed the door I saw Jacob trot out of the woods, wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off jeans. I smiled at the sight of him, and so did he. He hopped lightly up the stairs, and ducked down to kiss me gently.

"Hey babe, I missed you today," he said in a deep voice before kissing me again. The tone sent a shiver of desire down my spine. I could wait another day to tell him… we so rarely got time like this, and I didn't want to risk ruining it.

I slid my hands down his bare chest, and grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans, pulling him inside. He threw me over his shoulder, shut the door, and carried me up to my bedroom quickly. I laughed as he threw me down onto my bed, and I pulled off my shirt and bra while he undid his shorts.

He hopped on top of me, pinning my arms down and kissing me fiercely. While his lips fought with mine, one of his hands slid down my arm, all the way to my neck then down to my breast. He pinched me lightly, and I responded by biting his lip.

I felt him stiffen against me as he growled. He moved from my mouth directly to my breast, taking it into his mouth roughly. My body just felt so much more sensitive now, and his tongue felt amazing. I wanted more of it.

He left a trail of angry kisses down my stomach. When his lips kissed down on where I knew his child was, it did something else to me.

He'd be such an amazing father, and I really wanted to tell him. I could see us a few years down the road, we'd live with Billy because Jacob would never neglect his duty of caring for his father. I loved Billy too. I could see myself sitting on the porch with him, watching Jacob play with our children in the yard, everyone one smiling and laughing. I wanted it so bad that I felt my eyes start to water.

I was distracted when he bit down onto the waistband of my panties, and pulled them off slowly with his teeth. He held my ankle, kissing up the inside of my leg. When he got to the end, he spread my legs widely in front of him.

He slid a finger slowly down my center, and my body twitched happily. His tongue followed closely behind, and his hand rested on my stomach, stopping me from pulling away. His tongue disappeared but he quickly slid into me, making me gasp.

He stayed like that, and while he was inside me, he slipped his thumb around my clit, rubbing it and making my insides clench around him. He continued until I finished quickly, then immediately pulled out and pushed back into me. He moved quickly and a little roughly, and I clutched at his arms while I shouted out in pleasure.

**. . . . .**

We didn't leave my room for the entire night, and I had fallen asleep completely exhausted in his arms. I slept so much better when he was holding me. When I woke up to the soft light of the sunrise streaming in through my window, Jacob was already awake, watching me with an engrossed smile. I smiled back at him.

"Morning," I said a little sleepily. He kissed me, and whispered a good morning back to me. We watched each other in happy silence for a moment before he spoke.

"You know I love you right? More than anything and everything in the entire world?" I smiled back to him, and nodded shyly. "Do you love me?"

The question was ridiculous, he was well aware of how much I loved him. "Of course I do. You're my everything Jacob," I told him obviously.

He relaxed slightly, but I could tell he was very nervous about something. I decided to wait patiently until he was ready to talk. "I swear to you that nothing could make my love for you fade, and that I will love you more and more every day for the rest of my life. I don't want to ever let you go, I want to keep you by my side forever." He looked at me nervously, and I gave him a gentle smile before leaning up to kiss him. I sat up when he pulled away, a little worried by his intensity so early in the day. He took my hand, and placed something inside of it. I looked down at the small white box.

I stared at it for a moment, feeling his gaze on my face the entire time. With shaking hands, I slowly opened the box. There was a small silver ring inside, with a diamond centered in its middle. It was simple, but so very beautiful. I loved it. "Jacob…"

"I want you to be mine for the rest of our lives. I want to live together, and I want you to carry my children. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms, and love you every minute of every day forever." I looked up into his eyes, and could feel the tears welling up in mine. "Belle, will you marry me?"

My answer was instant. "Yes."

His dazzling smile stopped my heart, and my tears over flowed as he took the ring out of the box, and gently slid it onto my left hand. We both admired its new home for a few minutes before he kissed it, and then started kissing up my arm. I grabbed his face in my hands when he reached my elbow, not being able to wait any longer, and kissed him roughly. I rolled on top of him, shivering when he ran his hands over my naked body.

We looked into each other's eyes as I lowered myself on top of him, and his hands gripped onto my hips while I rocked on him. Yes, I could happily do this for the rest of my life, I would never tire of it.

We couldn't seem to pull away from each other, and we spent the entire day in my room, only stopping to grab some water and a bit of food late in the afternoon on shaky legs. I didn't even want to eat, all I wanted was him, and he seemed to feel the same way. I drifted off to sleep that night with a permanent smile etched into my face.

**. . . . .**

It was almost noon the next day, and he had his arms wrapped around my waist while I cooked us some eggs. I was absolutely starving, and had to remind myself that technically I was eating for two now. I needed to tell him, I'll just come out and say it. He wouldn't leave me. Yes, we were young, but we'll both be eighteen soon, and he even said he wanted kids…

"Jacob…"

We were both distracted by the loud howl of a wolf out in the distance. He froze, and looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry Belle, I have to go."

I nodded. "I know, be careful," I said worriedly.

He lifted me up, and gave me a long kiss. "I'll be fine." He lifted my hand, and kissed my ring before ducking out the back door. I watched, a little aroused when he slipped off his pants, tied them to his leg, and exploded into a giant wolf before disappearing into the woods. I took my giant plate of scrambled eggs into the backyard to eat, hoping that he might come back in a few minutes and tell me it was nothing.

He didn't though, and I went back inside and cleaned up before Charlie got home. We went out for dinner together, just the smell of his fish made me feel too sick to cook. I didn't hide the ring on my left finger, but he never took notice of it, and I decided that I would wait and tell him with Jacob. The stress of telling first Jacob, then him about my pregnancy was dizzying, and I feel asleep completely exhausted once we got home.

**. . . . .**

Charlie took the day off of work the next day to catch up on some sleep. The sky was very overcast, but the weather was still nice, so I went outside to play in my garden. The tomatoes were fat and ripe, and I started plucking the heavy ones off and gently placing them into my basket. I had more than enough to make a giant batch of tomato sauce, and decided I would take them over to Emily's and get her help skinning them. I could hear Charlie banging around in the kitchen.

"Hello."

I yelped loudly, and spun around quickly at the unexpected voice. There was a man standing at the edge of my backyard, seeming completely at ease. He was tall, with long black hair that was pulled back into a thin ponytail. He was dressed in a nice business suit, but had a dark grey cloak on over it. It was his dark red eyes in his extremely pale face that held my attention. I stared at him in fear.

"Where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elijah, and I'm here on business, you see." I blinked, and then he was only two meters away from me. He inhaled deeply. "Hmm, what a unique scent. _Very_ beautiful. There's a flavor in there… but I can't read it. A shield mostly likely. Yes, the Volturi will be very happy to have you."

I didn't understand what he was talking about. I wanted to scream but couldn't find any air. Charlie must have seen me through the window, because he ran into the backyard with his gun. "You get away from my daughter!" He yelled loudly, pointing his gun. I went to run to his side, but the vampire beat me, and in another blink of an eye, he had taken Charlie's pistol and shot him straight through his forehead.

I did scream then, not pausing for a second as I ran to his side. "Charlie? _Charlie!_ _Dad!_ No no no, _please_." I begged him not to be dead, but he stared up at me with vacant eyes, just like my mother had.

"Sorry about that, now where were we?" Elijah asked casually. I gave him my darkest glare, and then I saw him wince. It was almost like he was wrinkling his nose, and he looked over my head into the woods. Jacob's wolf barreled into my backyard with another black wolf that was almost as big as he was, and the two of them chased the creature into the woods.

I was all alone now, Charlie dead at my feet. I panicked and called 911.

They were at my house in five minutes. I told them that someone had come into my backyard through the woods, and that when Charlie came out, he stole his gun and shot him. I could barely speak through my sobs and started throwing up as soon as I had finished the story. They brought me into an ambulance for shock, and when the female paramedic asked, I let her know I was about a month pregnant. Billy came to the house shortly after with Harry, and they brought me over to his place. Harry wrapped me in a blanket, and they set me on the couch, not really knowing what to say. All I could think about was Charlie's eyes, and how I hoped that Jacob was painfully tearing the leech's body into shreds. I couldn't hear their words, and after a while they just stopped talking altogether. Maybe I should have felt bad, these were my Dad's two best friends after all, but I didn't have the room in my mind.

It was late at night when Jacob burst into the house, and Billy left to give us some privacy. A whole new wave of tears crashed over me as he pulled me into his arms and held onto me tightly. "I'm so sorry Belle, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, if only I had-"

"It's not your fault Jacob. You saved me. He would have gotten me too if you hadn't…" His lips crushed down on mine.

"I will _never_ let him touch you."

He picked me up in his arms, carrying me over to his bedroom and sitting us on his bed. He rocked me while I cried myself to sleep, placing gentle kisses all over my hair and face.

**. . . . .**

I had convinced myself that it had all been a dream, but when I opened my eyes I realized that I was still in Jacob's room. He was holding onto me tightly, and I didn't want to let myself think of anything else. I spun around in his arms to face him, and his eyes were looking down at me in concern. I didn't even say good morning, but pulled his face to mine and crushed my lips to his. He seemed to understand how much I needed this, how I needed to just be as close to him as possible, and he laid me down gently.

I didn't want him to be gentle though. I couldn't push his giant body away, but I bit down very hard onto his lip, and he growled. He got the idea though. He ripped my pants off of me while I pulled off my shirt and bra, and he bit down roughly on my nipple. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my cry, but let him know with my eyes that I didn't want him to stop. He slid into me roughly, and I gripped onto him tightly with my thighs. He pumped hard and quickly, and it wasn't long before we were both done, and I fell back limply on the bed, breathing heavily. He covered my body in tender kisses, and I started to cry again. He noticed immediately, and held me tightly and let me work though them.

He helped me take a shower, but it didn't help much. I couldn't think of anything besides Charlie's vacant eyes looking up at me, and the small bloody hole that was centered on his forehead. Something else struck me then.

"What if they try to take me away?" It was the first time I had spoken since last night.

"We won't let that leech anywhere near you. He might have escaped, but we're on full alert right now." The wolves couldn't catch him once he had gotten into the water.

"Not him. Renee. I'm not eighteen yet, what if they try to take me back to the boarding house?"

"I won't let them, we'll just hide you out here for the next couple of weeks. You can write her a letter or something letting her know that you're okay."

I nodded, and decided to do just that. I made Jacob take me back to my place, and he took me into my room to pack my things. It didn't take long, I just had my two suitcases and stuffed the rest of my things into my hiking pack. I paused when I found Charlie's necklace, and cried as I put it on.

Jacob took me to Emily's saying that I needed to be with friends. I didn't argue, as long as he didn't let go of me I didn't care where we went.

Emily pulled me into her arms as soon as we walked in, and held onto me tightly as she told me how sorry she was. I started crying again silently, and Jacob pulled me over to the couch, holding me tightly against him while I curled up on his lap.

**. . . . .**

After a few hours I made myself tell them what had happened, and what Elijah had said to me. None of them knew what a Volturi was either, but I felt Jacob vibrate with rage at the idea that the vampire had wanted to take me for some reason, a shield was it? I was just a human girl, I had no idea what he meant by those words, but they played on repeat through my mind.

Our silence was interrupted by a howl in the distance, and my heart clenched. He was back. Jacob stood to leave, and I was gripped by an overwhelming fear. No, I couldn't risk losing him too. I clung to him as he walked to the door with Sam.

"Please Jacob, don't go," I begged him. I don't know how I managed to have any more tears, but I did.

"I'll be fine Belle, this is what we do," he told me confidently. "Don't worry."

"I'm pregnant Jacob."

He froze, and Sam looked between the two of us awkwardly while Jacob stared at me with wide eyes. "I'll see you out there, take a minute," he told him, before running off into the woods.

"You're… pregnant?" I nodded. I wished I could have told him under better circumstances but I would have done anything to prevent him from leaving. His shock slowly morphed into a radiant smile as he rested a hand on my stomach. I held onto that hand as tightly as I could. "Belle… You have no idea how happy this makes me." His voice was thick with emotion, and I smiled in relief. He lifted me into his arms, holding me tightly while he kissed me passionately. I froze when he set me down gently.

"But you're still going," I said knowingly.

"I have to. I need to protect my pack, the tribe… I need to protect you and our child." He knelt down, lifting my shirt and kissing my stomach, before kissing the ring on my hand and then my lips once more.

"I'll be back before you know it," he told me with a smile, then jogged off into the woods.

Emily pulled me back inside while I sobbed loudly. It was getting hard to breathe, and she tried to calm me saying the stress wasn't good for the baby. I made myself calm down and drink the glass of cold water she handed me as I waited by the window, watching the woods where he had disappeared.

**. . . . .**

I actually felt it when it happened. The most painful thing I had ever experienced. I had speculated before that it felt like I had shared a soul with Jacob, and when he died, I felt my soul rip into two. Like half of my being was ripped out of me and tossed in a fire. I screamed out in pain, falling to my knees on the wooden floor. My scream was quickly echoed through the forest by the howls of six wolves, and then everything went black.

**. . . . .**

I woke up in time to see the six of them carry his large body into the house, and I ran over and clutched at him, holding him tightly while I sobbed loudly and painfully. Jacob had never been close to cold before, and I knew he was really gone when I laid my head on his cold chest. Leah pulled me away from him, not even flinching when I punched her in the face. She pinned my arms by my sides while she held me.

I glared at Sam, and he knew what I was asking. "The leech is dead."

_And so is my Jacob_._ He died trying to protect me_. I collapsed again, but Leah held me on my feet. I couldn't look at him anymore, and covered my eyes as Leah carried me inside.

**. . . . .**

I didn't fall asleep, I couldn't. Even after my cries turned silent and my pain became numbing, I couldn't even close my eyes. They stared into the crowded room, watching the others but seeing nothing. Midnight rolled around, and Embry took me from Leah, carrying me on the long walk down to the beach.

Jacob's shrouded form was resting on an unlit pyre, and we joined the rest of the tribe that had gathered around. Embry left me next to Billy, who was sitting in his wheelchair at the head, eyes red and puffy. I immediately leaned over and hugged him tightly, and he squeezed me back. I had no words. Both his best friend and son were now lost, and it was because of me.

"It's tradition, to burn the members of the tribe quickly, so that their spirits may travel to the heavens with the smoke and join our ancestors. We'll have a public ceremony soon, Rebecca and Sarah should land in tomorrow."

I tried to give him a nod, but couldn't move properly. This all still didn't feel real, but at the same time it was too real, _much much too real._

Billy led the ceremony, and kept me by his side the entire time. I listened as Sam told us about how he had fallen. The vampire had grabbed a hold of Leah, and when he lunged at him, the vampire dropped her and snapped his neck too quickly to be avoided. He died quickly, without pain. He died a hero. His sacrifice had given the rest of the pack the opportunity to take him down and he had saved Leah's life. I looked at Leah, who was crying while she met my eyes. I had never seen her cry before.

"The last thing that went through his mind was your name, Belle. He loved you more than anything in the world."

They all seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I walked slowly towards his shrouded figure, and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Jacob was everything to me. He taught me how to live again. I was only a broken piece of a human when I met him, and he healed me, and made me whole again. I've never loved anything as much as I loved him. He asked me to marry him two days ago, and I thought… I thought that we'd…" _I thought we would have forever. That we would grow old together, and watch our children grow, and our children's children…_ It was too much, and I fell to my knees again, gripping at my chest tightly. It hurt so much, there weren't any words to describe it. I felt like my body would fall apart from the pain, and wrapped my arms around myself trying to hold it together. I'm not sure who helped me up, but they held me while I wailed as they lit the pyre. I tried to lunge forward, wanting noting except to be burning with him, but whoever was holding me tightened their grip and didn't let me move. I would rather that than living without him. I stayed by his side until the sun rose, and the embers had cooled and crumbled to ashes. Sam delicately scooped them up, placing them in a wooden urn. He closed it, and walked over to me. I took the urn, and clutched it tightly to my chest.

They brought me back to Emily's house, and I went to the last spot where Jacob had held me in his arms.

Sam sounded so far away, I barely heard his words as he offered for me to stay here. They didn't want me to be taken away.

**. . . . .**

I sat there, clutching Jacob's urn for two days. I couldn't eat at first, but Emily knew the only thing that could have summoned any life in me.

"Belle, you're going to make yourself sick. You need to eat. Your baby needs to eat."

One of my hands fluttered to my stomach. I could still feel Jacob's lips against it. Jacob's child. I still carried a living piece of him inside of me, and I needed to protect him. Our child would be Ephraim Black's last living heir, he would grow to be the tribe's next leader. I slowly picked up the sandwich she had set in front of me, and watched her relief when I took a bite.

It was easier to just shut off my mind. I had a reason to keep living, though I wasn't sure that I would be able to. I cleaned Emily's house, showered and cooked, all in complete silence. I couldn't even look at any of their faces, because all I saw was Jacob. I shut everything down inside of me, concentrating only on moving. I had to leave when Paul imprinted on Jacob's sister at the funeral, it was just too much. I gave Jacob's ashes to Billy, even though it was my right as Jacob's spirit wife to keep them. I had kept some in a small container for myself, that I kept in the small beaded pouch that he had given me to hold the wolf he had carved. Billy should have the rest. He thanked me with tears in his eyes, and I knew that I had done the right thing.

I couldn't even introduce myself to his sisters, they looked too much like him.

Charlie's funeral was the next day. His work had organized the ceremony, and I sat in the front row next to Billy and Harry while they lowered his casket into the ground. When I stood up afterwards I saw Renee weaving through the crowd towards me and I ran as quickly as I could into the woods, where a large black wolf was waiting for me. I jumped onto his back, and he ran me back to Emily's before I could be taken away.

Once I got back, I wrote a letter to Renee, telling her that I was alright, but couldn't take the chance of being brought back to the home. I would call her on my birthday.

**. . . . .**

Three long weeks passed, and the pain didn't lessen in the slightest. My body seemed to go through withdrawals from the lack of human contact. Before he died, I don't think I had gone more than half a day without his touch, without his kiss. Even surrounded by my entire pack, I felt so completely alone. I kept myself busy to avoid thinking, and tried to make my presence in Emily's house less of a burden. I cooked and cleaned with her, and ate three meals a day. My stomach had started to grow, and I had the smallest baby bump protruding between my hips now. I laid my hand there often, my only reason for still being here.

I loved the pack, they were my family, but that was why I had to leave them. When I loved someone too much, they tended to die. I wrapped my hands around my abdomen protectively, and wished to whatever gods were out there that he would be spared from that curse. I just needed some distance for a while at least, I would come back with our child so that he would know his family, but until then I just couldn't bear to be here anymore.

I woke up early on my eighteenth birthday, and said goodbye to Emily as Sam threw my bags into the bed of my truck. I had my purse over one shoulder, and was clutching a tin box against my chest.

While I had been packing last night, I had put my most prized possessions into that tin. My dream catcher, my worn bracelet, Jacob's ashes and the small russet colored wooden wolf he had made me. I had taken every picture of him out of my photo albums and placed them in there too. I had ripped apart my black dress in a fit of rage when I went to stuff it in my suitcase, and used a piece of the fabric to wrap up the box, keeping it securely closed. That dress had been meant for a day of celebration, but had been darkened by attending the funerals of the two men that I had loved most. I couldn't bring myself to take off his ring though.

Emily hugged me tightly, eyes full of tears. I had used all of mine already.

"Thank you for all of your help," I said, trying not the let the cold sound of my voice bother me too much.

"You don't have to leave you know, you're family. We love you Belle, and would be happy to have you stay."

"I can't stay right now Emily… It's just too painful. I'm sorry."

Sam set one hand on my shoulder, and rested the other one gently on my stomach. "You _are_ family Belle. Please don't forget that. You will always be a part of this pack."

They made me promise to be careful and to stay in touch with them, and I waved as I pulled out of their driveway. I stopped at Billy's on the way out of town.

He seemed glad to see me, and invited me inside. I couldn't go in there though, the first place I had met Jacob, where we spent so many nights curled up on his couch, the last place where we had made love…

I was happy for him that Rebecca had stayed, and relieved that he still had someone to help take care of him. I fished into my pocket, and handed him the key to Charlie's house.

"I'm going to be leaving for a while, I wanted you to have this. You can take whatever you want from the house. I have everything that I need."

He looked at me sadly, and nodded. I didn't have anything else to say, so I said goodbye, and walked back to my truck.

"He would want you to be happy Isabella, and to go on living your life."

I spun to glare back at him. "He was my life Billy. He knew that, but he left anyways, and now he's gone." I jumped into my car, slamming the door, and sped off of the reservation.

**. . . . .**

The pouring rain reflected my mood as I made the long drive up to Seattle. My wet clothes clung to my skin as I walked into Renee's work, and found my way over to her desk. She looked up when I stopped in front of her, eyes going wide. She shot up to her feet, running around her desk to hug me. I didn't move.

"Isabella, I was so worried about you. Are you okay? How are you doing?"

I didn't answer her, but just gave her a pointed, empty look. She regarded me with sympathy, and I turned away angrily. This pregnancy was really messing with my hormones.

"I'm eighteen today Renee. I came to collect my trust fund, and then I'm leaving."

She nodded sadly, and motioned for me to sit down. Her eyes went wide as she took in the engagement ring on my hand resting on the small bump on my stomach. "Isabella, are you?"

"Yes." There was no point in lying to her.

"And the Father?"

"Dead." She reached over to take my hand, and I flinched away from her. I didn't want to catch up, I just wanted to be alone with my child. She seemed to realize that after a moment.

"It will take about a week to get everything in order. I'll need you to come back in a couple days to sign the paperwork, and bring me your banking information so that it can be deposited. I can get most of it done tomorrow if you'd like to come in on Friday."

"Okay, I'll see you Friday then." I stood to leave.

"Wait, Isabella… I was also contacted by Charlie's lawyer. He left everything to you. The house is yours too."

"I don't want it."

She nodded. "If you would like, he can liquidate the house and its contents for you."

"I would appreciate that. Thank you. If you could just have him speak with Billy Black before he sells anything, he was Charlie's best friend. I already gave him a key, but I want the lawyer to know that he can have anything he wants."

She nodded, writing down the name, and she let me leave. There was a hotel not far away down the street, and I checked in, saying I'd need a room for a week. The desk clerk gave me an odd look, but when I offered to pay upfront, she smiled and had someone carry my things up to my room.

**. . . . .**

The next day, I stopped at the bank to get the paperwork I needed, and also withdrew the contents of my safety deposit box so I wouldn't have to come back. It's where I had kept all of my mother's jewelry, her wedding rings, necklaces and broaches. I had an appointment with a doctor here that I had booked a few weeks ago, and made it over there with time to spare. The receptionist greeted me happily, and led me to a bright, clean room.

The doctor came in shortly afterwards. She was a very sweet woman, gentle with her words as we went over my medical history. She took some blood for a test, and came back shortly afterwards to give me an ultrasound. When I heard the strange sound of my baby's heartbeat, I smiled for the first time since Charlie's death.

It only lasted a second though._ Jacob should be here beside me, holding my hand._ I could clearly see what his face would have looked like in my mind, the way he would have smiled down at me, kissed me and held me with tears of joy in his eyes.

She told me that I had a completely healthy two month old baby. I was relieved that he hadn't been harmed by my recent emotional state. The doctor wrote down the name of a brand of prenatal vitamins that I should take, and told me to schedule another visit to see her again in a month.

I picked up the pills on the way back to the hotel, along with some food, and laid awake in my bed for the rest of the day.

**. . . . .**

The week went by slowly, and I passed the time by visiting my mother each day. I sat on the grass in front of her grave, and told her everything. Every single moment of my time in Forks. She was the only person I could talk to, and like the other people who I loved most in my life, she wasn't even alive. It felt nice to just be able to say the words out loud though. They had been sitting inside of me silently for too long. Whenever the wind blew by, I tried to pretend it was her, trying to embrace me from the other side.

The paperwork went through easily, and both of my inheritances were transferred over to my name. Renee told me that when everything was done with the house, that would be transferred automatically also.

I thanked her for her help, and even let her give me another hug.

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know yet. Just anywhere that's not here." I hadn't thought of much after that. I wanted to find my own private place in the world, and just be there with our child. Maybe if I got far enough away, it wouldn't be as painful just to keep breathing.

I saw a tear drop down her cheek before I turned to walk away. I just couldn't handle her pain on top of my own, but I was sad to have hurt her.

**. . . . .**

I had no idea where I was going. All I concentrated on were the lines on the road. I was about as far west as I could be, so the logical thing to me seemed to be to go east, and that's what I did. For weeks I just kept driving East, stopping at different hotels each night, sometimes staying a few extra days in places when my morning sickness got too bad, or the weather was too dangerous, or if I just felt too tired.

I ended up crossing the border into Canada eventually, and a sign for Newcastle piqued my interest. Something similar to home, but far enough away that it wouldn't feel like it. My steering wheel seemed to turn on its own, taking me down an exit and onto a smaller highway.

It didn't seem like much of a highway to me. The roads were dark and empty, and the two lanes of adjacent traffic were joined together. My eyes were starting to feel heavy, and I noticed that it was almost three in the morning. I decided that I would pull into the next hotel I saw.

I squinted in the lights of the car coming towards me. He was driving with his high beams on, and I flashed mine at him in warning. He completely ignored me as he drove closer.

His car swerved suddenly, and pulled into my lane. I was able to dodge him, but the wheel of my truck caught on the side of the road. My truck seemed to roll in slow motion, and when my head hit the ceiling painfully hard, my vision went black.

I was happy in that blackness. Maybe Jacob would be waiting for me here.

**. . . . .**

**Alice**

I knew that I needed to be here, but I still didn't know _why_. When I saw myself a few hours ago, standing here behind the treeline off of the highway on the way into town I only knew that it was important, nothing else.

I watched as the doe darted out into the road in front of a black Honda civic. The car swerved into the on-coming lane towards an old red Chevy. I saw myself pulling the girl out of the truck before she swerved out of the way, flipping the giant beast of a vehicle into the ditch. I saw the flickers of unmade choices in the man's future, and listened to them in the back of my mind as he fled the scene. If he had stayed, he would have been charged for impaired driving.

I didn't have time to worry about him though. Knowing what the scene would be only a second before, I held my breath. What was it about this girl that was messing with my visions? They just didn't seem to work properly with her.

There were no other vehicles in sight as I shot across the highway and ripped open the crumpled door to the truck. She was fastened in her seat belt, hanging upside down. The only major damage to the truck seemed to be the windshield and the driver's side door, but she hadn't been as lucky. The majority of her left side had been crushed. Her arm looked broken in at least two places, and her leg was distorted into a frightening position, but it was the foot-long triangle of glass that was protruding from her abdomen that held my attention.

A whole four seconds had passed since she hit the ditch, and I quickly debated on what I should do.

_I'll change her_. I saw her horrified, crimson eyes looking back at me in horror and loathing, then she threw herself into a fire.

The hospital is only five miles away. Then realization hit. This was _her_, Edward's singer. The girl that our family had fled from twice. What was she doing on the opposite side of the continent?

Edward wasn't here though. _I'll bring her to Carlisle_. She'll survive her injuries.

I flipped open my phone and gave Carlisle a heads up. I didn't hesitate as I gently maneuvered her out of the harness, trying to shift her as little as possible. I ignored the flames that tore at the inside of my throat as I felt her hot blood soaking through my shirt. There was so much of it, everywhere. The glass of the shattered windshield had peppered all of her exposed skin with cuts; all over her face, neck and arms. As I got closer to the hospital, I started seeing more small flickers of her future. She would be all alone through a long process of healing and rehabilitation. No one was going to come here, she would stay in this hospital by herself until she healed, and I couldn't see any further than that.

The images of her face in those flashes shot pain through my still heart. There was nothing in them; no joy or happiness, nor any sadness, anger or pain. She looked completely empty, lifeless.

The feeling that had been in the vision that brought me to this moment had been similar to the ones that brought me to the rest of my family. I knew that she would be an important part of my life, that I would love her like a best friend or sister, but something was preventing me from _seeing_ it properly, not giving me any actual images of it.

I needed to help her. The family would want to leave again for Edward, but I couldn't leave my best friend alone like this, not to let her go through that future alone. I had already graduated school here, I could cancel on Harvard and get a job at the hospital. _I would stay_, alone if we had to. I knew Jasper would stay with me anywhere.

As soon as I decided, I saw it. She would grow to like me, but it would take some time. I saw myself making her smile, and how that expression would completely change her. I saw her holding my hand, touching my shoulder or arm, completely at ease with my cold stone body. This human would be completely comfortable around me, a vampire. She would consider me her best friend, and it will give her a reason to want to stay. She might look for a job and an apartment in the area.

Carlisle was waiting inside the treeline, eyes going wide when he took in the sight of me, and immediately went into work mode.

"How long since the accident?"

"Two minutes and seven seconds, I'm sorry, I had to be careful-"

"It's okay Alice, you did very well. Here. Lie her down on the gurney," he said as he rushed us into the empty parking lot. I gently did as he said, and then he saw her face. "Alice! This is-"

"Carlisle, please! She's bleeding so quickly."

"Of course, sorry. That can wait." We ran through the parking lot more quickly than we should have. "Alice, this is really bad. I'm not sure-"

"You'll save her Carlisle, I saw it." He relaxed slightly, grateful for the reassurance. "I have to call Emmett, I'll come right-"

"This will take a while sweetheart, go get cleaned up." He saw my panicked expression. "I'll take care of her Alice, she'll be safe with me." He didn't spare any more time to console me as he was swarmed by nurses and pushed her into an operating room with a determined expression.

I knew it would be better if less people saw me like this, and I was able to sneak out at my usual speed knowing no one would see me. As soon as I was safely hidden in the trees, I stopped and closed my eyes.

I saw Carlisle coming out of surgery in seven hours. He was going to tell me that aside from the broken bones and cuts, she had hit her head very badly, and that she had also been almost three months pregnant. They baby won't make it.

I had already known that she would be alone because no one would be coming to visit the hospital, but I hadn't realized just _how_ alone she would be. How would you even begin to comfort someone for something like that?

I saw her waking up after three weeks and four days. I had considered calling Emmett to move the truck for me before it was found, but I had plenty of time right now and wanted it done carefully.

I was back to the truck in almost a minute. I had been lucky, it was now just a few minutes past three in the morning. The roads were very quiet, and I had only been gone about ten minutes. There would be a trucker driving by in another three though, so I quickly picked the truck up, carrying it on its side so it would fit between the trees more easily, and hid it out of sight in the woods. Now I could just say that I had found her like that in the parking lot and brought her inside. No one would ask any questions.

I dashed back and forth between the truck and the ditch, picking up every little piece of evidence that I could find. None of it was heavy, just awkward to carry all at once. I only stopped when the truck was driving by, and when I had finished.

When I was done, I hopped up into the bed of the truck to inspect my findings. I piled together all of the glass and truck debris, pushing it off to the side. Looking at her things, I was immediately grateful that I had chosen to do this myself. For all I knew, these could be all of her worldly possessions. There wasn't much; A hiking bag with some towels, clothes and a toiletry bag. There was a bottle of prenatal vitamins in there. I saw her opening the bag and having a panic attack when she saw them, so I threw them into my garbage pile with all of the glass. She also had two suitcases, one was more clothes, and the other one was closed with a small lock. I was disappointed at first with her wardrobe, seeing mostly jeans, t-shirts and sweaters, but there were some other things hidden in there too. A few stylish blouses, a really nice pair of shoes, a few really cute camisoles and a beautiful, soft peach-colored dress. _Okay, I can work with this_. I noticed that we were almost the same size, so I threw my blood-soaked shirt into the garbage pile and took one of hers. She wouldn't mind me taking the blue V-neck, she wasn't very fond of the color.

Wanting to know more about her, I easily picked the small lock on the other suitcase with one of her bobby pins. She must have the key on her, because I didn't find it in her purse. A large portion of it was taken up by an old, worn quilt. There were two photo albums, a digital camera, a small wooden box with a few pieces of jewelry in it, and another, more antique looking box shaped like a perfect cube, a couple books, a stuffed panda, a pocket knife, pepper spray and a large manila envelope filled with papers.

Her birth certificate was inside, along with a copy of her health insurance; I noted that there was no emergency contact, but she had a really good plan that would cover her long stay in the hospital. I decided that I would pay the difference to have her put into a private room though. Her Diploma from Forks High School was in there, along with her paperwork for Washington State. She had gotten a really impressive scholarship, and I only had to wonder for a moment why she wasn't there right now. I found a copy of some adoption papers. She had been adopted by Charlie Swan, who I remembered quite well from our stay in Forks. Behind those were his death certificate and a copy of his will. My dead heart clenched painfully. There were two more death certificates in there for each of her birth parents, along with the documents for her inheritance from the liquidation of their assets after her father's death, and a bunch of banking documents.

All of the pieces started to fit together like a blurry puzzle. I could only speculate on what brought her here, and I guessed that she may have been trying to escape the pain that her last home must have caused her after Charlie's death. Maybe I didn't see her coming this time because she hadn't actually _planned_ on coming here. That didn't explain the blurriness of my other visions of her though.

There was only one other thing that I had found, a small tin box wrapped tightly in a black, lacy material. I was painfully curious about what was rattling inside; maybe it would give me some information about the father of her child, but something stopped me from untying it.

She was going to be relieved when I told her that the truck was okay. I had planned on getting Rosalie to fix the door and replace the windshield. Apparently the old beast was very important to her, along with the contents of her locked suitcase, but this little box was her most beloved possession. I decided that I didn't want to intrude on this, but swore that I would protect my best friend's important memories with my life.

I dug a hole and buried my pile of evidence that wasn't needed. Even without my blood-soaked shirt, I knew that my family would question me carrying home a damaged truck. Rosalie was in the garage with Emmett when I brought it inside. They both watched me curiously as I set it down, but Rose smiled a little.

"I loved those old trucks, always thought they were beautiful. Truck designs these days have no character. No personality or flare." She appeared by my side, inspecting the damage, and winced slightly at the smell of blood.

"Alice, did you?..."

"No, of course not. Do you think you can fix it?"

"Of course, the damage isn't too bad. I'll have to have a new windshield custom made, it's not like they make this model anymore. The door will be easy. She could really use a new-"

"No. No new paint job or anything extra. The truck has a lot of sentimental value to my friend, I don't think she would be happy with surprise alterations."

"You have friends Alice? Since when?" Emmett asked teasingly, laughing at his own joke.

Rose ignored him. "Whose is it?"

"I can't explain properly at the moment. I'll tell you later."

"Sure," she said suspiciously. I loved Rose like a sister, but she wasn't my friend like Isabella would be. We got along fine, but we didn't spend much time together or talk a lot. We had never really connected that way. I got along with all of my family, I loved them all, but even Jasper couldn't fill the small void in my life that was in need of a real friend.

I brought her things up into my room and stored them in my closet. No one would even _dare_ going in there. Jasper and Edward were just getting back from their hunting trip. I grabbed Jasper as soon as he came in through the window, and led him far enough away that Edward wouldn't be able to hear our thoughts. He followed without question, but I could tell he was worried. I told him everything; my weird vision, the crash, her injuries, what I knew had happened to her, what I saw her being like when she woke up, and how she would eventually become my best friend. I could tell that he didn't completely understand my draw to her, but he told me that he would stand by me anyways, even if it meant breaking off from the rest of the family. He came back to the hospital with me to avoid Edward's mind until Carlisle was done.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle had told everyone that we needed to have a family meeting, and they were all waiting for us around the large oak table in the dining room when we got in. Edward rested his face is his hands sadly before Carlisle even sat down.

"Alice pulled Isabella Larose out of a car crash on the border of town early this morning." Everyone's eyes went wide; they all remembered the name of course. Edward's singer, the reason he had left his job in Seattle, and afterwards the reason why we had all moved away from Forks.

"I thought she was living with Charlie Swan in Forks. Is she going to be okay?" Esme had felt bad for the child after she had been orphaned, and had been relieved later on when I let them know that she would be fostered by the Chief of Police. She liked him.

"She'll survive her injuries, but she won't wake up for three weeks and four days. She won't be alright afterwards either. Charlie ended up adopting her at the beginning of the year, but he's dead. Gunshot wound to the head from a robbery in his own home." I could see from Esme's expression that she would be crying if she could.

"So when are we leaving?" Emmett asked easily. Edward still hadn't looked up yet, and Esme put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"We can have everything packed up in-"

"I'm staying," I said, cutting off Carlisle and finally snapping Edward out of his self-pity.

"_We're_ staying," Jasper corrected gently, entwining his fingers through mine.

"Why?" Esme asked, eyes filled with pain at the idea of splitting up our family.

"She's my best friend, and she needs my help. She has no family, no one is going to come here. She's going to be alone while she stays at the hospital and heals, which will take a very long time. She just lost her second father," Edward flinched, "And she just lost her baby in the accident. She needs me, and I love her too much to leave her. I'm sorry."

"She was pregnant?" Esme asked Carlisle softly.

"Yes, she was just finishing her first trimester. The child died on impact, he didn't suffer." Esme and Rosalie both looked down sadly. Esme knew what it was like to lose a child, and Rosalie knew what it was like to lose the opportunity to have a child. It was a hard subject for the both of them.

Everyone watched me for a couple of minutes, which is a really long time for a vampire, not knowing what to say before looking over to Edward for a solution.

"You've never even spoken to her before Alice."

"You know that doesn't matter." I showed him my blurry visions of myself with my human best friend, and he raised an eyebrow curiously at the image of her being so comfortable around a vampire. It's not that humans knew what we were, but there was something about us that usually triggered an instinct to be wary and flee. Apparently, Isabella didn't have that natural response.

He looked carefully around the room at the others, no doubt wading through their thoughts. He knew that my decision was final. I would bet that the others didn't want to really leave either, but also didn't want to make him suffer. When he looked at Esme, I saw his choice solidify before he spoke.

"We'll stay. This is my problem, and my fault, and I need to learn to live with the consequences. Besides, she'll probably just find me again if we leave. I'll learn to deal with the rest."

Some shot him sympathetic glances, but no one argued.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	10. Chapter Ten: Vampires

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Ten :: Vampires**

**Isabella**

I was so disoriented. The blackness seemed to fade away slowly, and the silence was broken into by a steady, annoying beeping sound. I hurt everywhere, and I couldn't move my left arm or leg. My head was so fuzzy.

Then I remembered the high beams on the road, the car swerving in front of me, the truck catching on the edge of the road and flipping over almost in slow motion…

My eyes shot open, and the light was blinding. It looked like I was in a hospital room, but I was too disoriented to really takes things in. There was only one thing in my mind, and my hand shot immediately to my stomach. My incredibly flat, empty stomach.

I screamed, the shrill sound echoing in my ears then I groaned from the painful feeling in my incredibly dry throat. My eyes flooded immediately with tears that over flowed. _No, not my baby_. He was all I had left. How could I fail him like this, fail Jacob like this? The beeping of the machine sped up, and I started ripping the wires off of myself in a fit of rage.

"Hey! Sshhh, you're okay. You're in a hospital in New Brunswick, but you're going to be fine."

Apparently I wasn't alone, but my guest had been too silent to notice. I searched for the sound of her voice, and found a small woman by my side. I completely froze.

She was about my size, a little bit shorter, with short, black, spiky hair. Her face was very pale, eerily pale with almost an airbrushed quality to it and her big, golden yellow eyes stared back at me. As soon as I felt the burning acid start to rise up my throat, she was putting a garbage can in front of me and I was quickly, violently sick. The heaving motions intensified the pain everywhere. My head, back, left arm and leg, ribs and worst of all my stomach. I could feel the painful gash stretching across, but even if I wasn't too preoccupied being sick I was too afraid to look at what was causing it. There wasn't anything besides the acid in my stomach to purge so once I stopped heaving I just sat there, taking in short painful gasps while clutching at myself with the one arm I could move.

I instantly knew that she was a vampire. Even without the red eyes. But that must mean that she didn't drink from humans, right? Was this one of the Cullen vampires that Jacob had told me about? I wasn't protected by my pack now, and I knew that they were just as protective about their secret as the wolves were so I tried to hide my recognition. It wasn't hard, as I couldn't concentrate on her for more than a few seconds. My mind was too filled with pain. Too many different types of pain. I couldn't breathe through my tears, and my whole body started to tremble.

Someone came into my room then, a Doctor in a white lab coat. He looked to be in his late twenties, and had the same pale skin and yellow eyes as the girl behind me. Another vampire. He took in my state; my one free hand clutching at my stomach, eyes spilling over as I tried to breathe again, all of the wires and stickers ripped off of myself. He dashed over to my side, a little _too_ quickly. He looked into my eyes with a piercing, concerned gaze and I couldn't seem to look away.

"Isabella, my name is Doctor Cullen, I'm your attending physician here at St. Mary's," he told me in a calm, soothing voice. _So I was right_. "I need you to try and calm down Isabella. Breathe in, and breathe out. It's okay." He mimicked a deep breath in, and another long breath out. Did he even need that air? He kept repeating the motion for me, and patiently waited as I tried to match his rhythm. It started to help after a while. Now I was just crying silently, hiccoughing every once in a while and shaking. While he had been helping me though, something clicked in.

This was _the_ Doctor Cullen. The one that performed the surgery on me two years ago. His face had been blurry in my memories, but I couldn't forget those unique eyes. They weren't yellow like Jacob had said, they were gold, and much too beautiful to be human. Well, I guessed that they weren't that unique after all. There was a whole coven of them.

I clutched at my shirt tightly. "My baby…" It was so painful to speak, and I barely heard the words myself as I tried to force them out.

"I'm very sorry Isabella. He didn't suffer though, it was very quick."

"How?" He hesitated, and I looked up at him sternly. "I want to know how," I told him firmly through my tears. He didn't seem to have any trouble understanding the choking hiss of my quiet voice.

"Your windshield shattered. A large piece of glass was wedged into your abdomen when you were brought in. My daughter here, Alice, was the one who had found you. I don't think you would have survived if she hadn't gotten you here so quickly."

I looked back at her again, and she offered me a smile. Yeah, I knew just how fast vampires could be. I'd seen it. I couldn't bring myself to thank her for saving me, and couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes either. I didn't want to look at either of them for fear of becoming trapped in their captivating eyes and giving myself away. After a few minutes of silence they seemed to realize that I had nothing to say.

"She's been worried sick about you, barely left your side while you were out."

I realized I had no idea how long ago that had been, and this almost seemed important for some reason. "When?"

"Almost four weeks ago," she said quietly.

"Isabella, is there someone that we can call for you? There was no emergency contact in your file."

I shook my head once, not meeting either of their faces. I lay back against my pillow and closed my eyes tightly. I was definitely cursed, death seemed to be waiting for me behind every turn. It felt as though I was living in his shadow, but he wasn't merciful enough to just take me himself. I couldn't go back to my pack, I knew if I called them they would be here in an instant and I couldn't endanger them. There was nothing Renee could do, or Angela who was off at college now. There was no way I could go back to them, I couldn't risk it. I loved them too much.

My eyes flashed open when I felt the ice cold contact of his skin. The vampire was so close to me, attempting to attach the IV back to my arm. I ripped it away from him, warning him with an enraged gaze. Golden eyes or not, it was his kind that destroyed my life, my love. There was no way I would let him touch me again. I don't care if he _saved _me. Either of them.

"I need to re-attach this, your body needs the medication and the vitamins Isabella. Your-"

"Don't you fucking touch me," I hissed painfully. He took a step back, and I swear I saw fear with the look of shock in his face. The fact that I made the leech afraid didn't provide any gratification though.

"I'm sorry. We'll give you some time to rest. Come on, Alice."

"Just a sec," she said, and took something out of her pocket. She held out her hand to me, and when I didn't respond, she gave me a sad smile and sat the contents of her hand beside me on my bed. "I'm sorry, but I held onto them for you. I just wanted to make sure they didn't get lost or stolen." I stared at my engagement ring and Charlie's necklace.

I waited until they left and snatched up the items, sliding my wrist through the necklace and wrapping it around a second time, then holding Jacob's ring. My entire left side was encased in one solid, bulky piece of plaster, and I couldn't reach my hand. My sobs started up again then, and I choked on them while maneuvering the ring onto my right hand instead with my teeth before I let myself crumble completely. I cried and cried until there were no more tears left in me and drifted into my familiar numbness.

_There was nothing I could do to bring any of them back. _The totality of the loneliness became all consuming. Nothing else even mattered.

**. . . . .**

Dr. Cullen came back later in the evening. He brought in a tray with a glass of juice and a glass of water, and asked me if I could drink something. I ignored him, and he told me that my body needed fluids or something. I flinched away from him, but he caught me with those intense eyes again and I was trapped. With a strangely human expression of sadness he told me that if I wouldn't drink he needed to attach my IV again. I pretended that he wasn't there as he re-attached my heart rate monitor, blood pressure cuff and then the IV.

"And this one is your morphine drip-" He said in a gentle voice. I pulled away again quickly, shaking my head. The IV jerked uncomfortably in the crook of my elbow. "Isabella, your injuries were very extensive, your body needs it to-"

"No," I hissed at him, glaring.

"You will be in too much pain without it." He took my arm them, despite how gentle the grip was his hand felt like iced stone as it easily wrapped around my arm. "I'm sorry but-"

"NO!" I screamed, and could taste blood in my mouth from its dry skin cracking. I thrashed around in fury and screamed until he let go of my arm. I met his horrified gaze with my infuriated one, and he apologized repeatedly and promised he wouldn't keep drugging me against my will. I glared at him until he left my room, then slumped back onto my bed while pulling the numbness back around myself.

**. . . . .**

I felt like I was in that room for years. I just wanted to fade away, and hoped that if I pretended hard enough not to exist that it would become my reality. Without my baby to take care of, I didn't really see the point in eating. I was always tired but could never sleep because of the pain, though sometimes I seemed to drift in and out for short periods of time. The fact that I wasn't alone a lot of the time made it hard too.

The small vampire, Alice, seemed to be a little attached to me for some reason. Despite my silent, indifferent attitude towards her she kept coming back. I never said a word to her, or the doctor for that matter. It was just easier to pretend like they didn't exit. She was always there though, always talking. I didn't have the energy to ask her to leave, even if I had wanted to talk.

She didn't seem fazed by my silence and chatted constantly and easily to me about pointless things. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything she said, I felt like I was living in some sort of fuzzy dream. I couldn't keep a steady train of thought for more than a few seconds. When I was alone and couldn't sleep, it would set me into a panic sometimes from being so disoriented, but when she, it, whatever was there, the constant buzz of her voice seemed to make it easier to not to get stuck in my own jumbled mind. A distraction almost, and she had such a comforting, musical voice. After a while, I realized that I didn't hate her company. Her presence actually became a sort of comfort to me.

**. . . . .**

I really wanted to sleep. I hadn't been able to for more than a couple minutes at a time since I first woke up. How long have I been here? Surely it's been years, and I should have dissolved to dust by now. I shut my eyes, praying for my mind to stop for just a few moments, and that her voice would help me sleep. Before being here, my dreams had been the only place I could see Jacob, and I wanted to see him so badly. They had been both the best and worst parts of my days. Just memories, but they were all I had.

But wait… they weren't really.

She didn't seem surprised when I tried to speak for the first time. She was talking about a special pair of jeans that she had ordered online, frustrated that they were late coming in. I opened my mouth to talk, but nothing would come out.

She was standing beside me then, leaning over my bed and holding a cold glass of water close to my face. She waited though, letting me be the one to decide if I wanted to drink. After a moment, I leaned forward slightly and she brought to cup to my lips. I took a small, excruciating swallow. It felt so good on my dry throat, and I took another larger swallow. After one more though, my stomach started to hurt and I leaned back. She sat back in her chair and watched me expectantly.

"A-Alice," it was so difficult to speak, and my voice was barely a whisper. "Do you know what happened to my things?"

"Yeah, they're at my house. Sorry, but I didn't want anybody messing with your stuff." I felt relieved, the first time in a long time that I had felt anything, really. She was protecting my things? Why? Why was she even here with me still? I was afraid to talk again, dreading the feeling. This was important though. "Would you like me to bring anything here for you?" _Thank you_. I nodded. "What would you like?"

I could only think of one thing, the most important thing. I couldn't wear my clothes with the left side of my body encased in plaster, so I didn't really need anything else. "Tin, Black-" I winced.

"The tin wrapped in black fabric? The kind of lacy fabric?"

I nodded vigorously, it made me feel nauseous.

"Sure, not a problem. Anything else?"

I shook my head, and she went back to talking happily.

**. . . . .**

She came by again as usual the next day, greeting me happily as she set down a plate of food on my table. I think I slept a bit last night, I wasn't completely sure, but my head felt a bit clearer. I had been waiting for her, and as I stared at her large purse while she came in she caught on quickly.

"I didn't forget, here you go." She pulled the tin out of her purse, and I clutched it tightly to my chest with a sob of relief. It was exactly how I had left it.

I wanted to open in, to glance at the small wooden wolf, or to at least look at one of my pictures of Jacob, but I couldn't do it in front of her. What if she realized who Jacob was, and that I knew their secret? Would they have to kill me to keep it? I'm not sure I would have minded really, but something was stopping me from putting that gun into my mouth. I didn't mind her really. She had protected this for me, after all. I was thankful for that. No, I did not hate this vampire. She seemed so… human.

I reached out and took her cold hand. "_Thank you Alice_." I put as much sincerity into those three quiet words as possible.

Her smile was so beautiful. Were all vampires this good looking? It must make it easier for them to lure in their prey. "Don't worry about it, it was nothing." She went on talking, and I tried to make more of an effort to listen this time. Apparently she had decided to take off the year before going to University, but I couldn't remember more than that.

It was hard to keep up with her words, but I did take in her details more closely for the first time since I had woken up. Her skin was flawless, so much so that it was a little odd. She had dark shadows under her eyes too, like she hadn't slept well in a long time. I noticed a routine to her movements also; her breathing was too regular, and she switched from crossing her ankles to crossing her legs exactly every five minutes. It was all a ruse, but a good one at that I had to admit. She moved very gracefully, and completely silently.

Intrigued, I paid closer attention to my Doctor also. The same flawless skin, the dark circles under his eyes, the fluidity of his movements. Besides his breathing, he didn't have the same timed movements that Alice did, but he was kept busy by checking me over. He caught me watching him, actually acknowledging his presence for once, and gave me a gentle smile. I eyed the IV bag that he was replacing warily, and he chuckled.

"If you ate something, I could take it out," he said teasingly.

"Not hungry," I said quietly with a hoarse voice. It felt so weird to talk, and it made me not want to any more.

"I know sweetie. But it will get better."

I don't think he was expecting me to say anything as he had turned around to leave.

"How?"

He turned around curiously. "How what?"

"How do you know that it will get any better?"

He looked at me thoughtfully, but answered quickly. "My wife lost a child. It nearly killed her. It's not something that she ever completely got over, but after time she found out that there are other things in life worth living for."

I nodded once, and slumped back against my pillow. He left my room silently. I couldn't say out loud what was running through my mind. _How can you look for things to live for, when everything that you love dies?_

When I was finally alone that night, I set my tin down on my lap. I sat staring at it for hours, trying to make myself open it, but I just couldn't. I wanted to see him so badly that the pain made it almost impossible to breathe, but I knew looking inside would be even more painful. I drifted off for a while clutching it to my chest, and pretended it was him that I was holding.

**. . . . .**

The next day, Alice brought in someone new with her. She was obviously _another_ vampire, and I wondered why they all kept coming to my room. Did they usually take this sort of interest in humans? The woman looked older, about the same age as Doctor Cullen. I noted the ring on her finger, maybe this was the wife he had mentioned.

"Hey Isabella, this is my Mom, Esme."

"Hello dear, it's really nice to finally meet you. I've been wanting to find out what's been keeping Alice so occupied lately." She was a curvier woman, with a gentle face and loving smile. There was something about her that instantly drew me to her, and I decided that I didn't want this woman to think badly of me.

"Hi," I said quietly, and she immediately smiled. There was something very warming about it.

The two of them pulled up chairs, and started talking to me easily. They didn't ask me many questions, and I was thankful, because I really didn't want to talk. Or maybe I did? If anyone might understand how I felt, it would probably be her. But she had Doctor Cullen, a husband and a family or coven or whatever it was. She wasn't alone.

Alice excused herself, saying that she had to go make a phone call, leaving me alone with Esme. I peeked up at her, and realized that she had been watching me.

"Isabella, how are you feeling?" It wasn't an unusual question, but I could hear the double meaning behind it. I decided to answer her truthfully. I felt an urge to talk to this woman for some reason, and I didn't want to lie to her.

"I don't know," I whispered. I winced trying to form the words, and she held out a glass of water to me. I analyzed her face for another moment before cautiously leaning forward and taking a sip. The first gulp was only slightly painful, but soothing at the same time. I wanted more, and swallowed again. I became greedier, and almost choked on the fourth swallow. She pulled away the glass, and hesitated for only a moment as I painfully coughed before rubbing my back soothingly. It felt nice. When was the last time someone had touched me like this? I didn't know, and tried to block out the picture of Jacob's arms wrapping around me. Once my breathing settled into something more regular, I lifted a shaking hand in the direction of the glass of water, and she brought it back to my mouth. She ensured that I took smaller sips this time, but let me finish the glass. My throat and mouth felt so much better, but I was so full that I thought I might be sick.

"Are you okay dear? Do you want me to call Carlisle?" She was looking at me with concern, and I wondered how bad I looked for the first time. I felt a slight sheen of sweat on my forehead from the pain of coughing, and I was shaking slightly, but I didn't want him to come. I didn't want him to drug me. Even if they didn't seem to want to kill me, the thought of being medicated around them and somehow slipping up was terrifying. And I deserved this pain, they were all dead because of me. I shook my head. I could feel her watching me, and I refused to let her see the fear in my eyes.

She was silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. "I don't know if my husband told you, but I lost a child once." I looked up at her in surprise. "Please excuse him for his indiscretion. He's just worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for dear. It's okay. I know how hard it is."

I could hear it in her voice, the pain I felt. I couldn't help feeling sympathetic, I wouldn't wish my pain on anyone. Actually, that was a lie. I wished it on whatever a Volturi was, but not this gentle vampire beside me. "How old was he?"

She smiled sadly. "Two days. Two very short days."

"How did you deal with it?" I needed to know, to hear it from her, and I realized that I still had a flicker of hope inside of me. How foolish.

"Not well. I met Carlisle shortly after and things got a little better. My ex-husband wasn't… a very nice man."

"My fiancé wasn't." I said, choking on the words.

"Wasn't what Dear?" She said, seeming a bit confused by my words. Would that have made it easier? Losing him if he hadn't been so perfect? I couldn't even picture it, because that would have been impossible. I stared at her for a long minute, the tears swimming in my eyes made her blurry. She reached out, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder as she carefully slid onto the edge of my bed. Her comforting touch broke me then, and I couldn't keep the words inside anymore.

"He wasn't a bad man. He was a great man. He loved me more than anything, just like I did him. He died, two days after he asked me to marry him. The same day I had told him about our baby. He was so happy, and then…" The words came out in a rush, and caught in my throat with my breath as pain shot through my chest. I clutched at my heart, trying to push the feeling away.

She pulled me into a hug quickly, and I surprised myself when I gripped onto her. I wanted the contact, the physical feeling that there was someone there, that I wasn't completely alone. I need it so badly, and was glad what she didn't let me go. I didn't even care about her cold and hard skin. She let me sob against her shoulder, murmuring that it would be okay, and that she was so sorry.

I'm not sure how long she held me. My breathing eventually calmed down though, she had a very soothing presence about her. It was like she radiated love, and I realized that she reminded me a lot of my own mother.

"Thank you, Esme."

She surprised me by kissing me on the forehead. "You have nothing to thank me for sweetie."

Alice came back shortly afterwards, and I tried to listen attentively while they talked. I was actually a little sad this time when they left, but Alice assured me that she would be back tomorrow.

"Would you mind if I came back to visit too?" Esme asked a little nervously.

"I'd like that," I told her honestly. I tried to smile, but the motion just wouldn't work properly on my face.

**. . . . .**

I hadn't actually been asleep, as usual, only keeping my eyes closed while I drowned in the silence of the room, so I heard when the door to my room closed quietly.

I didn't hear him, but I could feel someone watching me in the dimly lit room.

He looked surprised when I opened my eyes quickly and took him in. It looked like he had debated running, but he had already been caught. There was no point.

I took is his features knowingly. Of course, yet _another_ vampire. He had the same pale skin, but his eyes were solid black. I wasn't afraid, it was becoming just too much of a common occurrence. He was tall, with a lean yet muscular build, and seemed just a few years older than I was. His hair had the most unusual coppery-red colour to it, and looked artfully messy. He was wearing a white lab coat, and regarded me with a pained, yet curious expression on his face. The intensity of his stare intrigued me, and I wondered if it was possible for a vampire to be sick.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, a little concerned. Why did I care?

He gave me a strange look, like I had asked a weird question. It took him a moment to answer. "Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well… you were kind of just silently staring at me in the dark," I pointed out, obviously.

"Oh, yes. Well, Carlisle just asked me to come in and check on you."

That was a lie, Carlisle had said goodbye to me before he had left for the night. He must have had a reason to lie though, and honestly, I didn't really care what it was.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks." I turned my head to the side, looking out the window. The room was so quiet that I thought he may have left, but he hadn't.

"My name is Edward. Edward Masen." I turned to look at him, and when I met his black eyes, it seemed like he was concentrating very hard while he looked at me.

"Isabella," I told him, though he obviously already knew. Why was he staring at me like that?

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Have a nice night."

I just turned my head away again, and this time I heard the door click shut as I watched the moon through my window.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle came into my room early the next day, and gave me his usual checkup. I checked behind him to see if Alice or Esme was with him, but they weren't.

"How long will I have to keep these casts on?" He seemed surprised by my forward question.

"A couple of months, sorry. They were really bad breaks though."

I sighed, and he asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I just feel really gross, and it would be nice to take a shower."

He gave me a bright smile, looking almost excited. "Well, I have to change the casts anyways. I think it would be safe to just tape up your ribs, and put separate casts on your arm and leg now. I can do it today, if you would like."

I nodded, and he promised to come back later in the afternoon. I day-dreamed about the promise of a hot shower all morning until Esme and Alice visited again. She sat down happily on the edge of my bed, while Esme took a chair.

"So, we heard that you're getting the body cast off today, are you excited?" I nodded.

"I made you some lunch dear. You'll have to excuse my cooking though; I'm not very good in the kitchen."

I didn't want to offend her or hurt her feelings, not after she went through the trouble of cooking for me which was something I was pretty sure she didn't do often. I picked up the fork, and with a shaking hand, brought a piece of pasta to my mouth. I chewed it slowly. Though I could tell it had been perfectly cooked it was so hard to chew, and it tasted amazing but felt horrible going down my throat. I was only able to take one more bite before my stomach hurt and I fought to not get sick.

"Don't force yourself dear, it's been… a very long time since you've eaten solid food," Esme told me in a gentle voice. I closed my eyes and set down the fork.

"I'm sorry. It's really good though, thank you for making it for me." She smiled happily at me, and I had to look away from the love in her eyes. I was curious by her words though. "How… How long have I been here?"

She looked at me gently, reaching over Alice and taking my hand. "Just over eight weeks now."

I just nodded. It felt so much longer than that.

I can see why the pack had such a hard time hating these vampires. I listened attentively to the two women as they talked. Esme apparently loved to work with her hands, doing home renovations and such. She started talking about her vegetable garden, and I had to close my eyes tightly, trying to force away the image of Charlie's dead eyes staring back at me the last time I had worked on mine. I had loved that garden, so it was probably dead now too.

**. . . . .**

Doctor Cullen came back as promised that afternoon with all of his supplies. I watched in fascination as he cut through the plaster that covered the right side of my body with movements that were a little too fluid and precise. My arms and legs looked horrible; they were mostly black and blue. I wasn't allowed to get up without the casts on, but he did bring me a container of warm soapy water so that I could give myself a gentle sponge bath. I still really wanted to wash my hair, but I was happy to have at least that.

He set both my arm and leg in full casts, and then sat me up gently while he taped my ribs. I was completely exhausted once he was finished.

"Thank you Doctor Cullen," I told him as he was about to leave.

"You don't need to thank me, this is my job sweetie. And please, call me Carlisle." He gave me a happy smile.

"It wasn't your job to get Esme in here to talk to me though. Thank you for that." I was starting to feel slightly guilty for the way I had treated him over… the last five weeks apparently. And I never even thanked him for… That should be safe enough to say, it happened before I went to Forks. "Doctor Cull- ugh, Carlisle." He smiled and nodded. "Thank you for doing the surgery, for saving me. Not just here, but in Seattle too."

He looked really shocked then. "How did you-"

"I saw you once. The medication was really strong, and your face was blurry, but I know it was you. And I saw your name on the paperwork after."

He seemed to search my face for something, I don't know what, but he seemed satisfied after a moment. "You're very welcome Isabella."

I gave him a nod, and he watched me for a moment before wishing me a goodnight and then left me in my silent room.

**. . . . .**

I caught Edward in my doorway again that night. He was just standing there silently, maybe thinking I couldn't see him. It got a little annoying after a while; he was distracting me from staring at the tin in my lap

"Why don't you just come in?" I offered in a neutral voice. I looked over to find his face looking startled, maybe surprised that I had caught him once again. He waited for only a moment, and then walked over gracefully, stopping at the end of my bed. He just stood there.

I was tempted to tell him he wasn't doing a very good job at blending in right now, humans didn't just stand completely still like that, but I bit the words back. "You can sit if you want," I told him, not really looking at him.

"Thank you," he said politely, and took the chair that Esme had been sitting in earlier.

Why wasn't he talking? Was he stalking me or something? The rest of his coven seemed comfortable around me, but he was obviously not. Maybe I smelt tastier to him or something? I should probably be scared, but I wasn't. Instead, I was curious. I looked up at him again, and I think I saw curiosity in his eyes too. I didn't see why though; he was a novelty, I wasn't.

I felt a little accomplished when he was the one that faltered under my gaze, and had to look away first. Good, I hoped I was making him uncomfortable. He should have a taste of his own medicine. It was suspicious. I refused to be the one to talk first, and he seemed to get that after a bit.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked in a casual tone.

I raised an eyebrow at him. That was a stupid question, but he seemed to want an answer.

"Fine." That's what people wanted to hear when they asked that question, and it was much simpler than telling the truth.

He chuckled slightly. "Liar. What's in the box?"

I held onto it tightly, and tried to keep my voice and breathing steady. "Important things."

He nodded, and I was glad that he didn't push it. He seemed to be concentrating really hard on my face, and I was very much aware how gross I must have looked. "Why are you staring at me?"

He seemed to find my irritation amusing, smiling at the tone of my voice. I scowled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just find you very… intriguing," he said uncertainly. I looked away from him then, bothered by the comment. It sounded like some sort of insult. I was probably just some mad human that he seemed to be entertained by. I clutched onto my tin for comfort.

"Well, I should probably get back to my rounds," he said. I didn't look back up at him, but just nodded. He got up, and walked over to the door, pausing before opening in it. "Would it be okay if I came to visit you again?"

Well, it would be better than having him lurking in my doorway. "Sure."

He wished me a goodnight, and left my room.

**. . . . .**

I had fallen asleep for only a minute last night, but it was enough to frighten me into not even wanting to blink again afterwards. It was just a small flash, an image of Elijah wearing a white lab coat, and staring at me through the doorway to my hospital room with a bloody smile. I was relieved to see Alice when she came in, looking forward to something to distract me.

"Hey Alice," I said when she came in, and she gave me a delighted smile. I instantly felt guilty for how rude I had to her over the past month. The disorientation was worse today. I felt distracted and confused, and a little jittery.

"Hey Isabella, are you feeling okay? You don't look so well this morning."

"I'm fine, just had some trouble sleeping."

"My Dad could probably give you something to help…"

"No, I hate taking medication. I'll be fine, don't worry about it. What's in the bag?"

She smiled, and emptied its contents out on my table. There was a loufa, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, all sorts of little things that I desperately wanted to use. I gave them a longing sigh. "I thought you might want to take a shower."

"Thank you Alice, I really do, but with my casts…"

"I can give you a hand if you want. I volunteer here at the hospital, I've done it plenty of times," she said with an encouraging smile.

I thought about it for a couple minutes, and she waited in easy silence. I desperately wanted that shower, though it felt strange asking her for her help with that. I would be much more comfortable with her than another nurse or one of the doctor's though.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not at all."

"Well… okay then."

She helped me out of my bed carefully, and I wasn't surprised with how easily she seemed to support my weight. She helped me slowly hobble over to the bathroom, where she sat me down on a bench in the shower. All I was wearing was a hospital gown, so it wasn't hard to get undressed.

My face was burning red as she pretty much treated me like her doll. She wrapped up my casts, temporarily took the bandages off of my ribs, and had me lean back while she washed my hair. Her gentle, ice-cold fingers felt nice against my scalp.

I actually smiled once I got toweled off, I felt like an actual human for the first time since I had woken up. She went to grab me something clean to wear, and I stood shakily on my own for a few seconds to look in the mirror.

I didn't recognize myself. It looked like I had lost too much weight; I could see my bruised ribs sticking out against my skin. I had completely lost the tan that I had worked so hard for over the summer, and there were dark circles under my eyes too, making them look bruised. It was odd knowing that I looked almost as bad as I felt.

None of that even compared to the angry, puckered gash that stretched across my stomach though. I had been avoiding the moment when I would have to look at it for the first time, and was horrified that it looked even worse than it had felt. It was so ugly that I quickly looked away. I needed to sit back down anyways, the room was spinning.

Alice came back in, carrying a pair of comfy looking shorts and a t-shirt in one hand, and another hospital gown in the other. She asked me which ones I wanted with a knowing smile on her face. After assuring me that Carlisle wouldn't mind, she helped me slip the shorts on over my cast, and then did the same thing with the top.

Once they were on I realized that they were not mine and were brand new. Though simple in design, the fabrics were obviously very high quality and incredibly soft. I looked over at my left arm and noticed that the sleeve had been artfully altered. There was a neat slit going down from the shoulder of the sleeve leaving it open to accommodate the bulk of my cast, and was sewn back with a beautiful floral design of stitches. Did she make this for me? I was really touched, it was such a sweet gesture.

She helped me back to my bed, which had been made with new sheets. I wondered if it would be okay to bring my quilt here, remembering that Alice said she had been taking care of my things. My room had a small closet that I could easily fit my things in, and I realized I had never even asked about my truck. My gift from Charlie, the truck that Jacob had fixed up for me, where we spent so many days driving around while curled up next to each other on the long bench. My breathing started to come too fast, and I clutched at the pain in my chest. If Alice hadn't been holding me I probably would have collapsed.

"Isabella? What's wrong? Are you in pain?" She asked in a concerned voice.

"What happened to my truck?" I asked shakily as she sat me down on the edge of my bed, taking a seat next to me.

"Your truck is fine. The damage wasn't too bad actually. I hope you don't mind, but I had the windshield replaced, and got the door fixed up."

I looked at her in surprise. "You had my truck fixed up for me?" She nodded, and I lunged over and hugged her tightly. It was very painful, but I didn't care. "Thank you Alice, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you. I can pay you back for the costs, I have money-"

"It was nothing really, my sister loves working on cars, so it didn't really cost anything. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." This tiny vampire had done so much for me, and even though I had no idea why, I appreciated it so much.

"Hey, it's okay. It's what friends do, right?"

Friends? I enjoyed her company but… well, I guess that she was the closest thing to a friend that I had now. I liked her, and I wanted her to like me too. There was no way I would hurt her feelings by rejecting her. "Right," I confirmed, and her answering smile was brilliant.

She seemed determined to give me a spa day, and she was so excited about it that I couldn't bear to argue with her. So I sat patiently while she French braided my hair, did some sort of weird mask thing on my face, and filed and painted my finger nails. It was weird, but I had to admit it was nice not thinking about everything else for an entire afternoon. I asked about her 'sister' and the rest of her family, deciding that it would probably be a good idea for me to know their cover story so that I didn't blow my own cover. I thought the story was a little weak, two adults who were barely thirty, adopting four adult teenagers? I found it hard to believe that people actually bought that, but kept my face neutral and interested while she spoke. Apparently, my stalker was Esme's 'brother.' Hmm.

It got late, and I was sad to see Alice leaving. "Will you come back tomorrow?" I asked her hopefully.

"Of course. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"If you don't mind… Could you bring my things? I can fit them here in my room, you don't need to hold onto them anymore."

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Alice."

**. . . . .**

I had drank a glass of juice earlier today to pacify Carlisle, and I urgently needed to use the washroom. It was late at night, and I didn't want to bother the sleepy night staff, so I slowly got out of my bed, using the wall for support as I very painfully hopped over to the washroom on my one good leg. I made it there without incident, and got a little too cocky, completely wiping out half way back to my bed. I tried to muffle my scream with my hand, but he still heard me. My door flew open.

"Isabella! What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Fine," I forced out as I was trying to right myself. My arm was just too weak to push my body off of the floor though.

I gasped as he easily scooped me up in his arms, and quickly put me on my bed. It was too fast, this vampire was really bad at blending in. I looked up into his eyes, and they were a bright golden yellow tonight, very different from their blackness the two nights before. They seemed… excited maybe?

"Umm, thanks," I mumbled out.

"Are you sure you're okay? Does it hurt any more than usual?"

"Nah, I'm good," I lied easily. It was very painful to breathe.

"I'm not buying it; you could have broken another rib. Would you mind if I checked? Or I could call for a different doctor, if you'd prefer."

I debated quickly about it. I thought it would be a little insulting if I told him I wanted someone else. If I knew that Carlisle was here it would be different, but I'm pretty sure he went home. I was proven wrong though when he burst in through the door. It surprised me a little, and the shift back I had made in surprise made me wince painfully. I saw him shoot the briefest worried look at Edward, and the smell hit me. Salt and rust, I looked down and saw a small spot of blood on my white shirt. Carlisle was at my side, standing in between the other vampire and myself. But I could see over his shoulder that Edward was standing like a rigid statue, looking in the opposite direction.

"You must have pulled one if the stitches. Here, lay back down." He slowly lowered me back down on the bed, supporting my shoulders with one cold hand so I wouldn't move too quickly. He opened the drawer of my bedside table that was filled with medical supplies. I shied away from the ugly scar across my stomach as he lifted up my shirt and cut off the bandages that wrapped around my ribs. I had pulled two, and I looked at the stars outside of my window, holding perfectly still had he sewed in two new ones. He slipped when he said that I hadn't re-broken any of my ribs, just irritated them badly, when I had fallen down. He hadn't been here when it happened, and neither Edward or I had said anything, so he shouldn't have known. While he taped me back up, he threatened to put me back into the half-body cast again if I didn't call for help next time.

His 'brother-in-law' didn't move a millimeter during the entire process. I guessed that he must not be as… experienced in this field as Carlisle was. He seemed to have faith in him though, as Carlisle never asked him to leave.

I almost laughed when Carlisle went to open the window before he washed his hands, and came and sat down in the chair beside my bed. I guess it was enough to ease Edward a bit, and the cool breeze felt wonderful. He walked over to my bed, and handed me something that I hadn't noticed he had been carrying.

"Esme asked me to bring this to you on my way in. She thought soup might be easier on your stomach." I watched his face closely as he handed me the thermos and took a careful step back. Had he waited through that whole seemingly painful process just so he could hand me the thermos himself? That was… sweet.

"Thank you, Edward." He smiled widely when I said his name. "And please, thank Esme for me too."

"Of course. Have a good night," he said, turning and leaving the room quickly.

Carlisle sat with me while I ate. I had maybe five spoon-fulls before I felt full, and he wanted to stick around for a while to make sure I didn't get sick, or needed to use the washroom again.

My curiosity was burning, and while waiting for the nausea to pass, I just had to ask him. "Why did you decide to become a Doctor, Carlisle?" I knew he probably couldn't tell me the truth, but I wanted _something_. He thought about it for a short moment.

"It's a very rewarding career, working to try and save people's lives. It makes me feel like I'm doing a little good in a world that's filled with so much bad." I thought about his words for a few moments. I had the feeling that he was trying to say more with them. Maybe he was trying to counteract some of the bad things that his kind brought into this world, maybe as some sort of repentance. I couldn't picture this man killing a human, sinking his teeth into them and draining their life. That seemed completely opposite of everything he was, and I wondered if he knew that.

"You're a great Doctor Carlisle, the best I ever had. And I've had a lot," he smiled at my bad joke. "I hope you know that what you're doing really does make a difference in people's lives."

He gave me a look that pulled painfully at my heart. There was gratefulness, happiness, and love in his eyes. It was the way that Charlie had looked at me so many times.

He rested a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Isabella."

**. . . . .**

Alice brought Esme with her the next day, each of them carrying one of my suitcases, while Alice had my hiking pack strapped onto her back. They put them in my closet for me after I took out a new shirt, I didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

Esme once again brought me food, and I wondered if they had realized my weakness for trying to be polite to this motherly woman. I ate almost half of the small dish of Jell-O that had pieces of cut up strawberries in it. I wanted to finish it, it was much easier to swallow than the soup or pasta, but there just wasn't enough room in my stomach.

"So dear, where are you from?" Esme asked politely. I was pretty sure she already knew, but I played along anyways.

"Seattle," I told her. It was too hard to say the name of where I had spent the first half of this year. I couldn't look over the coincidence that Carlisle had worked at the hospital in Seattle, then gone to Forks, and they had left there just before I arrived. It was like I was following in their shadow as well.

"That's a pretty far drive. What brought you here? School maybe?"

That was harder to answer. "I was actually supposed to start University at Washington State in September. But things got bad and… I just had to leave." That was the best I could do, I clenched my eyes tightly, trying to push the memories away before they made it too hard to breathe. I was glad when Alice changed the subject.

"Well I'm _glad_ you're here. This place is so _boring_; it's nice having someone interesting to talk to. Do you think you'll stay?" She asked excitedly, like she actually wanted me to.

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it." It seemed as good a place as any, but I hadn't seen much of it besides my hospital room. But… maybe while I was in proximity to these vampires I could somehow find out what a Volturi was and why it had destroyed my life. And find a way to destroy it. The want of taking revenge upon him roared inside me, filling me with a burning need. "Maybe."

"Well, it's not _that_ boring. You should stick around, at least for a little while after you get out of here."

I thought it was sweet that for some reason she seemed to want me to stay. The thought of not being completely alone was appealing too.

**. . . . .**

I was fidgeting with my ring, staring at it numbly when Edward came in for his usual visit that night. I was so absorbed that I didn't even notice him this time. "Isabella?"

I looked up at him, and he was regarding me with a concerned expression. I wondered if he had said my name more than once.

"Oh, hey," I said. My throat felt swollen, and I coughed trying to clear it. It tweaked my ribs painfully.

"Are you okay?" God, I was getting annoyed of that question. He was only trying to be polite though, so I took a calming breath before answering, dropping my hand back into my lap.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked at the window longingly. I could see the trees swaying in the wind, and I wanted to be out there with them so badly. I was getting sick of this room. Seemingly reading my mind, he walked over to the window and opened it. I relaxed feeling the gentle breeze against my face. "Thanks," I said, and he sat down in the chair next to my bed. I noticed he was carrying another container, and he caught my gaze.

"Esme thought that you seemed to enjoy the Jell-O today, and asked me to bring by some more." He slid the bed table over me and raised my bed a little before handing me the spoon.

"Thanks," I told him again. This coven… family of vampires seemed very determined to make me eat.

"Not a problem." He was silent while I took a few bites, but I still felt full from earlier. I was a little uncomfortable with him watching me eat, so I tried to just not look at him. "That's a beautiful ring," he said casually. My hand started to shake, so I put down my spoon while swallowing hard. I didn't say anything. "So, you're married?"

I stared at my hand for a long time while he waited patiently for an answer. "No, I guess I'm not." My voice caught painfully in my throat_. I would never walk down the aisle towards Jacob on Charlie's arm. I will never get to call him my husband, or give him children or grow old with him. _The thought was so painful that I wrapped my arm around myself, trying to hold my body from falling apart.

His voice was a little panicked. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, that was a really insensitive thing for me to ask. I didn't mean to-"

"I'm kind of tired," I said, maybe a little rudely. I turned my head to the side, looking away from him and out the window again.

"Yes, of course. Good night, Isabella."

He closed the door to my room, and as soon as the door clicked shut behind him, a painful sob escaped my throat as I pulled my tin out from under my pillow, still unopened, and held onto it tightly while I rocked myself, trying to remember how to breathe.

**. . . . .**

I watched as my room went from night to day, and was relieved to see Alice so early in the morning. She had an extremely worried look on her face, but tried to cover it with a smile.

She helped me take another shower, and I felt a little better afterwards. I caught a glimpse of my darkly bruised eyes when I passed the mirror, and looked away quickly.

"Hey Alice, would you mind passing me my grey suitcase?" I asked, after she had helped me climb back into bed.

"Sure thing," she said happily, picking it up easily and setting it on my table. I realized that I had lost my key, Alice hadn't found it anywhere, and I sighed. Oh well, it wasn't like this was the first time. I was horrible with keys, I lost the one to Charlie's house twice. The memory added to the constant throbbing pain in my heart that I tried to ignore.

"Do you have a safety pin or something?"

She gave me a funny look, and pulled a bobby pin out of her hair. "You can pick a lock?"

"Sure. You can't?" I asked in a teasing voice. She was so good at distracting me. Her presence always seemed to lighten my mood a little.

She laughed, a beautiful sound that reminded me of delicate bells. "Well, I didn't say that." Not a full admission, but close enough. She handed me the pin, and held the lock steady for me while I took a minute to pop it open. "Impressive," she told me with a happy smile.

"Thanks." I opened up the case, and pulled my quilt out of it.

"It's a really beautiful quilt," she told me, admiring the intricate patterns.

"My Mom made it for me when I was little," I told her.

She was quiet for a moment. "I don't mean to pry, but can I ask what happened?"

I decided that I didn't mind talking to her about this. She had told me so much about herself, and even though I wasn't sure how much of it was a ruse, I still wanted to give her something in return. "It's okay. She died in a car crash when I was eight. The doctor's said it was a miracle that I had survived, but I guess I have a habit of doing that."

"You were in the car with her?" She said, horrified. I nodded, and decided not to say anymore. I had been stuck in the car, not able to get out until the fire trucks came and cut open the door. Yeah, she definitely didn't need to know that.

"Would you like to see a picture of her?" I asked, trying to get away from the subject of the accident.

"Sure," she answered happily, and I took out my photo album that was dedicated to her. To us. She slid onto my bed next to me, the two of us fit comfortably onto the small mattress.

"This was us, maybe a month or so before she passed away," I told her, showing her my favourite picture. We were sitting together in front of our tree on Christmas morning, dressed in our pyjamas.

"She's really pretty," she told me, "You look a lot like her." I nodded. I was tempted to smile, but I just couldn't do it. "Were you two close?"

"Very. We were always together. My father worked a lot, and we didn't get along very well, but he loved my Mom."

"That must have been hard, after she passed." I didn't say anything, but she nodded, like I had answered her with my silence. I flipped through the short book, showing her my pictures, and she seemed completely entertained, smiling the entire time. "What about your other album?"

I looked at it, and it became hard to breathe again. I shook my head, I wasn't ready for that yet. I had taken out all of the pictures of Jacob, they were in my tin, but the rest were pictures of Charlie, my classmates in Forks, and my pack. I just couldn't deal with that right now.

"It's okay, we don't have to look at it," she said in a soothing voice. I tried to calm down, but it was hard. She entwined her fingers through mine, and it helped. I looked at her, and she did the same thing that Carlisle had done to help me before. I forced myself to match her exaggerated breathing, and after a few minutes I felt much more calm. She smiled, "See? You're okay. I'm sorry that I upset you."

"No, it's not your fault. It's just… hard. I'm sorry."

She gave me a gentle hug. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize. I understand." She easily changed the subject, and started telling me a bit about the town. It was a pretty small one, from what she told me, but it sounded nice. Water, lots of trees, and quiet. I felt a little bit of excitement building inside of me in anticipation of seeing it myself.

Then I immediately felt guilty. What right did I have to be happy? Charlie and Jacob have only been gone for three months, it felt wrong to be excited about anything when they weren't here anymore. They both died protecting me, and my baby was dead because I was too weak to stick around afterwards. I deserved to suffer.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just a little tired," I told her. It wasn't a complete lie. I could feel her watching me, but I didn't dare look at her.

"I guess I should let you get some sleep. Here, I'll put this away for you." She closed up my suitcase, and very delicately put it back in the closet.

"Thank you Alice." I don't know why she bothered with me. I can't imagine that I was much fun to be around.

"Don't worry about it. My boyfriend's been asking if he could meet you, do you mind if I bring him by tomorrow?"

"I don't mind," I would just be happy that she came back, I don't care if she brought her entire coven.

"Yay! Well, see you tomorrow," she said happily, walking out of the room.

"Goodnight Alice," I said quietly.

**. . . . .**

I wasn't really expecting Edward to come again tonight, not after my attitude yesterday, but he did. He knocked on my door gently, and I told him he could come in.

He came and sat down in the chair beside my bed, and I once again wondered what he found so 'intriguing' about me. I looked at him curiously, and found that he was doing the same.

"I'm sorry again about yesterday. That was really insensitive of me." It was hard to doubt the sincerity in his eyes, and his voice. I didn't argue with him though.

"Don't worry about it."

"You don't look like you slept very well last night." I shrugged. That's how polite people tell someone that they looked like crap, and I was very much aware of how bad I looked. I was a little drowsy, but I knew as soon as I was alone I probably wouldn't be able to sleep. I appreciated the company, even if I found present company to be a little strange.

"So, do you only work night shifts? It's the only time I see you."

"Mostly. They needed more doctors for evenings, and I don't mind the hours really. Most people are asleep, so it's pretty quiet."

"You look pretty young to be a doctor." He looked in his mid-twenties, but he could have been hundreds of years old for all I knew. I didn't bother asking him how old he was, because I didn't want him to lie.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," he said, giving me a crooked smile.

"So, you must get pretty bored to end up in here with me. I know I can't be very interesting company."

"On the contrary, I find you very interesting," he said easily. I shook my head, baffled. He leaned forward, giving me that deep look again "What are you thinking?"

His intensity caught me off guard, and my mouth seemed to answer of its own accord. "I don't understand why you keep coming back here."

"I just told you, I think you're interesting."

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment," I told him honestly. His expression turned shocked.

"I definitely did not mean it as an insult, but I'm sorry that I made you feel that way." I gave him a speculative look, but he seemed like he was being honest. He changed the subject quickly. "So, what sort of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?"

That was a hard question to answer… It had been a while since I had just done something for fun, or even had the desire to do something. He seemed to be getting impatient with my pause, so I answered the first thing I could think of. "I like to read," I said simply.

"What do you like reading?"

"Anything and everything. Novels, textbooks, poetry, research papers, new or old, it doesn't matter."

"Do you have a favourite?"

"Not really, it changes with my mood."

"What about TV shows, or movies?"

"No to TV, I don't really care for it. I don't mind movies though, but I would rather read the story in a book."

"What sort of movies? Romance, comedy?"

I actually laughed, surprising myself. It was an empty sound, but still. "No, action movies mostly."

He seemed to find that entertaining. "What's your favourite one?"

"Fight Club," I answered easily. He smiled. "What sort of stuff do you do?"

"I like reading too, but lately it's been mostly for work."

"It can't be an easy career to keep up with, with medical sciences constantly changing and all."

"It's what I enjoy most about it really, I love learning new things. It's a bit of a passion of mine."

"Mine too," I blurted out. "What else?"

"Music. I love playing the piano."

"I've always wanted to learn that. There is so much more you can say and express with music, words can be so restrictive sometimes." He gave me another curious look, and I felt a little embarrassed. God, why was I saying all of this to him? "Sorry, that probably sounded pretty weird."

He shook his head, "Not at all, I feel the same way, actually."

I relaxed slightly, and then tried to muffle a yawn. Talking to this man took a lot of energy.

"Sorry, you should get some sleep, and I should probably get some work done."

"Oh, okay." I don't know why, but I didn't really want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone tonight, like I usually did.

"Good night."

**. . . . .**

I was tired, but I just couldn't make my body fall asleep. I hurt everywhere, and was getting annoyingly frustrated by it. And I really needed to use the washroom. I sat up in my bed, and was about to hop over to the toilet, when I remembered Carlisle's threat. With an irritated sigh, I pressed the button to call for a nurse.

"Miss me already?" Edward asked, walking into my room again.

"Oh, sorry… I thought they'd send a nurse."

"Nothing to apologize for. What's up?"

"Do you think you could… help me walk over to the bathroom?" God, this was embarrassing. I should have just taken my chances hopping again.

"Of course," he said easily, and held out a hand for me. I took it, and had to fight not to flinch away. It felt like he had shocked me, and I saw in his face that he had felt it too. Maybe it was just static from my quilt. I swayed slightly when I stood up, but he put a gentle, steadying hand on my lower back. If Alice didn't find me heavy, he sure wouldn't either, so I put most of my weight into his hand as he led me slowly over to the washroom, stopping at the toilet. I looked up at him, and he had a pained expression on his face. I waited for a minute, but he didn't move.

"Umm, a little privacy maybe?"

He looked completely embarrassed. "Yes, of course. Sorry. I'll just… wait outside." He spun around and closed the door behind him when he left. I washed my hands, then brushed my teeth again before opening the door. He held out his hand again, and helped me back to my bed. I sat down on it begrudgingly, not looking forward to sitting here and most likely not sleeping the rest of the night.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. I was kind of surprised that you were still awake, are you having trouble sleeping again?"

"A little," I admitted uncomfortably. I was afraid that if I didn't say anything and just shrugged it off that he would leave sooner. I just wanted someone to talk to, really.

"Is the pain keeping you up? I can get you some painkillers or something to help you sleep if you want."

"No thanks… Painkillers always make me sick. I'd prefer the pain to the nausea to be honest."

He gave me another concerned look, and I started to feel bad that I seemed to be worrying this vampire so much.

"I could… sit with you for a bit if you want?"

"That-" God, what was wrong with me? Was I really desperate enough to ask him to sit and keep me company like a child? "No, that's okay. Thank you though."

"Okay, well just buzz if you want anything."

"Thank you."

**. . . . .**

I think I might have dozed off a couple of times throughout the night, but if I did it never lasted more than a few minutes. I just watched the wind play with the branches of the trees outside my windows, and tried to think of nothing else.

Alice came in bright and early the next morning, it was like she always knew what days I needed her most. It was a little ridiculous how attached I'd gotten to her without really noticing. How much time had she spent with me, visiting me every single day, even when I hadn't really been there? She was the one who had brought me to the hospital too, saving my life, and she had been waiting for me when I had first woken up. I realized that I saw her more as a person than a vampire really, and I was grateful for her beyond words.

So when I saw her come in this morning, I gave her the first genuine smile that I had made in in three months. Then I automatically felt horrible. I shouldn't be smiling, I didn't deserve to smile. I couldn't think straight, my mind was spinning and I had a horrible migraine. Oh God, Jacob, Charlie, I'm so sorry…

"Morning Isabella," she said, giving me a worried smile.

"Hey," I said. My voice came out a lot quieter than I had meant it to, but she heard me. A man came in behind her, and it looked like he winced. They came into my room together, and he sat down in the empty chair while she perched on the side of my bed.

"This is my boyfriend Jasper, he wanted to come by and meet you," she said in a cheerful tone. He was about the same height and build as Edward, but maybe a couple years younger. The same golden yellow eyes, with a strong jaw and sandy blond hair.

I felt completely embarrassed, knowing that I probably looked horrible right now. Jasper's eyes took on a slightly concentrated look, and my embarrassment quickly evaporated. My eyes widened in shock, and I tried to quickly compose my face. He did that to me, I was sure of it. I could practically feel him inside my head, tasting my guilt, my sadness, my pain… and my realization. He gave me a strange look. Surprise maybe? Was it unusual for him to get caught?

"Hey," I said simply.

He smiled, and I could feel his amusement. "Hey."

I was tempted to smile, this was just so strange, but it was quickly replaced by guilt and he gave me a worried look. I felt him start to pull away some of the guilt, and then some of the sadness, and I worried for a moment. It passed quickly though, and of my own accord. I welcomed the relief; I wanted it so badly, just to not hurt. Just for a little while.

Then it all disappeared, and I was filled with happiness and serenity. I slumped back on my pillows, and felt a relaxed smile spread across my lips. I was beyond grateful, and I hoped he knew that.

I felt a small flutter in my mind that seemed to tell me that he did.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Singer

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Eleven :: Singer**

**Edward**

I heard it in his mind before he even sat down. Once again, my family would have to leave because of me. I realized that I had definitely been cursed. She would always find me, no matter how far away I went. The universe was set on making me suffer for my crimes.

I remembered the first time I had seen the child, brought in unconscious and bleeding to the emergency room. If Alice hadn't brought Emmett to come and stop me then, she would be dead. But they got me away from her, and once I had hit the cool air I was able to think a little more clearly. Completely enraged with myself, I fled.

And just happened to cross paths with her father.

He was thinking about her face, it's how I knew it was him. I saw in his mind as he replayed the memory once more.

"_What did you do with them?"_

"_Do with what?" She asked him in a worried tone._

"_You know exactly what I'm talking about! Where's the jewelry?"_

"_You can't get rid of Mom's jewelry, they've been in the family for generations! She wouldn't want-"_

_I saw her face get closer as he gripped onto the collar of her shirt, jerking her forward. "Tell me!"_

_She looked defiantly into his eyes. "No."_

_And he pushed her down the flight of stairs. Once he realized that he could be tried for murder, he ran and dialed 9-1-1._

_"__Yes, my daughter has fallen down the stairs, she's not moving…" That was a mistake, if she woke up, then she could tell…_

_I didn't even think about it. I dashed forward, and snapped his neck. Alice didn't even see me do it._

_He was definitely dead. Thinking quickly, I snapped his arm and a few ribs, and then placed him strategically on the side of the street. Yes, it looked like a hit and run. Then I ran home._

My family forgave me for the murder, they understood why I had done it. I never forgave myself though, for orphaning the girl. She had no family, and would end up in the system. We transferred to the hospital in Forks immediately after. The family had already been living there, but the hospital was bigger in Seattle.

But only a year and a half later, she showed up there too. Alice was able to give us a heads up when it had been decided that Charlie Swan would be taking her in. So we left.

And now she's found me again, and we would leave so that I wouldn't kill her too. The memory of her intoxicating scent was still bright in my memory.

"I'm staying," Alice informed us, snapping me out of my train of thought. 'Pity party,' she called it. I looked into her mind more carefully. What she had felt during her vision to rescue her, what she saw when she was carrying her. The human girl looked completely at ease with Alice, touching her and talking to her comfortably. I'd never seen a human act like that with one of us before.

Alice's gift didn't seem to work as well with her as it usually did with others; her visions were very blurry and uncertain, which piqued my interest. It would be interesting to find out why.

Alice wouldn't budge on the idea, and Esme was completely heartbroken about the idea of losing Alice and Jasper. She wouldn't ask me to stay though. None of them wanted me to suffer, even though I surely deserved to. I realized that there was no point in trying to run any further, so I would make the choice for them. I let them know that I would stay, and found a little comfort in the fact that I had at least made Esme happy.

**. . . . .**

Work the next night was the longest experience of my existence. I could smell her as soon as I had walked in, and spoke no more than two words to anyone while I held my breath the entire shift. The next day didn't work out as easily for me though. I got called down to the Intensive Care Unit for a consultation on some X-Rays. I couldn't stop myself from taking a quick glance at her through the glass wall as I walked down to the nurse's station. The entire left side of her body was encased in plaster, and she had small scrapes and bandages covering all over her face and exposed arm. She had grown much during the last few years; even covered in bandages I could tell she was a very beautiful woman. She looked so relaxed and peaceful in her sleep. I couldn't see her dreaming anything, but that wasn't completely uncommon. Some people just didn't dream. I reminded myself to keep moving my chest so that it would at least look like I was breathing.

But they had questions that needed immediate answers, and I quickly ran out of air. I tried to brace myself before taking a gentle breath in, but it was no use. She smelt even better than before, like she had ripened with age. Maybe some higher power had sent her back here, maybe they _wanted _me to end her misery for her, and her blood singing to me like this was my sign to do so…

"Uncle Edward?"

I hadn't realized that I had taken a step back towards her room, and Alice was standing in front of me. _Get out of here, NOW!_ She shouted through her mind. "Uncle Edward, you forgot your medication at home. I left it in your office, you need to go take it." _You're diabetic if they ask later. I swear if you're not out of here in two seconds, I will rip your head off._

I had never heard her mind like this before, and caught a glimpse of an image of myself, my hands gripping onto her shoulders, easily breaking through the plaster as I bit into her delicate neck…

I took three long strides out of the room, and then moved faster than I ever had in my life as I dodged the still-awake minds of the staff and patients of the hospital. I ran and ran until I was deep in the forest, and knew that there could be no possibility of her scent reaching this far.

I took in a deep breath of the cool, clean air and crumpled to my knees. I had always known that I was a monster, but I'd never felt more like one than in this exact moment. What I had almost done to that girl…

I felt too ashamed to go home, so I didn't. I ran and ran for a day and a half straight, as fast as I could to the only place I could think of; our cousin's place in Alaska.

**. . . . .**

I stayed there for thirteen days. I wallowed in my own misery, completely ashamed for two days, and then spent a week trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Where did I want to be?

I wanted to be with my family. It was that simple. I wanted to prove to them that I wasn't this weak, and I was determined to overcome this obstacle. What sort of vampire was I to be defeated by one small and very fragile human?

One thing I couldn't get out of my thoughts was that vision of Alice's. Not the one where I had killed her, but the one of her with the human girl in the future. My curiosity was burning inside of me, because it was insanely rare for a human to be that comfortable around one of us. It wasn't normal, and I just had to see into her mind. Alice cared about her, so I knew she wouldn't sentence the girl to death by telling her about our secret. I wanted to know what this woman was like. The way she smiled at Alice, with that stunning heart-shaped face and deep, chocolate-brown eyes seemed to be scorched into my eye lids, because I would see it every time I closed my eyes. No, I knew that there was no way I could destroy something that beautiful.

I felt completely horrible when I got home. Esme had been completely heartbroken that I had left without even a word, and I swore that I wouldn't hurt her again like this. We may have been acting like siblings, but I had always seen her as more of a mother.

Emmett was surprised to see me back, completely doubting my resolve. He had stumbled across someone like Isabella twice in his life, and hadn't stood a chance against the pull of either one of them. _It's impossible dude, and you know Alice will kill you. I don't think even _you_ could beat her in a fight._

Rose was pissed, not to my surprise. She was practically shouting at me in her mind that I was going to blow their cover, and kill the girl. _She's been through enough without you throwing shit onto the pile._ I think it was the first time I've even seen her show sympathy for a human before. She had always wanted a child and she despised her species the most out of our family. She felt some sort of camaraderie with this girl that she had never met, and I saw that she had even gone through the effort of fixing her truck with delicate care.

Alice seemed to have forgiven me, even though Jasper hadn't for upsetting her. _I don't see you hurting her anymore, you care about her too much._ She smiled at me and I raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. _Well, maybe intrigued is a better word right now, but you will._

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" I asked in disbelief. I tried to see, but she was deliberately reciting the Canadian anthem in both English and French repeatedly, giving me a mischievous smile. She stuck out her tongue at me, and then grabbed Jasper before running upstairs to their room.

**. . . . .**

Isabella had been moved into a private room a couple days ago, and I was thankful that her scent didn't seem to fill the entire building anymore. It's what I hated most about my line of work, the smells. There were too many of them, and the majority were not pleasant ones. I decided that it would be best to see exactly where her room was, so I could take special precautions. Unfortunately, it was down the hall from my office.

I could see her delicate form under a thin blanket on the hospital bed through the glass window in her door. She looked like she had lost weight in the past two weeks, but that wasn't uncommon while she was living off of an IV. Also, the swelling had gone down in her stomach after she had lost her child.

Carlisle appeared by my side with his clipboard, handing it over to me. I took a minute to look it over while hearing him recite the charts in his mind. She was lucky to have survived, and it would be a long process for her damaged organs to heal. No emergency contact information, but I had already known that she had no relatives. _How bad is it?_ He asked me silently, referring to her scent.

"I haven't quite worked up the courage to breath yet," I told him honestly, using up most of my air. He placed a firm hand on my shoulder. _Now is as good a time as any_. I nodded, and braced myself before taking a small sniff.

I winced. She was the most delectable smelling thing on this planet. I tried to concentrate on Carlisle's hand on my shoulder, and the encouraging words that he was silently giving me. I wanted to burst through her door, but I was fairly sure that I wouldn't. After a couple minutes I took another breath, and another, but while I felt the venom well in my mouth, the flames ripping through my throat begging to be quenched, and was aware that my eyes had probably faded to black faster than they ever had before, I still felt in control. It was so painful, but I could think past it now. _Better?_

"Yes, I think I'll be fine. It's maddening, but I think I can push past it now." I always tried to be completely honest with Carlisle, it was the least I could do after spending so many decades swimming through his mind.

He smiled. "I'm very proud of you Edward."

"Thanks Carlisle."

"Oh, Doctor Cullen, Doctor Masen, I could really use your opinion about the spot on this CT scan…" Doctor Geller went to lead us to his office, and I shot a parting glance through the window into Isabella's room. Her sleep was still dreamless, completely silent. Sighing, I followed the two down the hall.

**. . . . .**

It was another week before she woke up. Despite that though, Alice still visited her room every day. Something about the girl was still messing with her visions, they continued to be very blurry and uncertain, and she couldn't see far into her future. Apparently, she saw a bit better the closer she was to her, and even after I told her that she was too gone to hear her, Alice still spoke to her. She sang songs, recited plays and movies, talked about the weather and news. It was a little odd how attached she had become, but she had complete faith in her vision and an almost desperate want for the friendship she was picturing in her mind.

But I wasn't really one to judge. I had done my own research on the girl. I was able to hack into her old records of her foster families. She had been with two other families before ending up in Forks, but there was no information about why they hadn't lasted. I looked into her school records, and found out that she had graduated top of her class, which wasn't too surprising seeing the types of courses she had taken while living in Seattle. I wondered why she hadn't just gotten her GED and gone to college early.

"You know, what you're doing isn't exactly legal, and you're coming off a little stalker-ish," Alice said in a teasing voice, popping up behind my shoulder.

"And what you do doesn't?" I asked defensively. I was a little bothered myself with how much of an interest I had taken in her.

"I can't help my gift, it's part of who I am. I can't control it."

"Hah, yeah right. Even if you can't stop it, you're doing a lot to encourage it." She shrugged with a small grin, and left to go hunting with Jasper.

My search hadn't giving me nearly enough information, and I remembered that Alice had been storing her things in her 'closet.' She wouldn't be back for a couple of hours…

"Don't you dare!" She said, bursting back into the room, Jasper close behind her. "She wouldn't want people looking through her things. That stuff is important! I'm taking care of it for her."

"You looked through them," I pointed out.

"That's different, I'm her best friend. She wouldn't mind if it was me."

"What's going on in here?" Esme asked, flitting into the house, her hands covered in dark soil.

"Edward was going to go into my closet and look in Isabella's things," Alice informed her, and I shot her a betrayed look. She didn't need to bring Esme into it.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! You will do no such thing, stay out of your sister's room!" She said, using my real name. I was justly chastised, and didn't try to do it again. There was just no way to do it with Alice finding out.

**. . . . .**

I was filled with an odd excitement when the day came that Alice said she would wake up. It was during the day and not being scheduled to work I hid in my office down the hall from her room, and watched through Alice's eyes. She had seen her waking up, and that she would be understandably upset, but her murky vision hadn't prepared her for the reality of it.

She watched as her breathing pattern changed, knowing that she was waking up, but her heart rate monitor went quickly out of control. Her eyes flashed open, barely taking in her surrounds before her one free hand flew to her stomach, and she seemed immediately aware of what must have happened. Alice watched, frozen in shock, as she screamed and started ripping off all of the wires and needles that were stuck to her. Tears started pouring out of her eyes, and her sobs were the most painful sound that I had ever heard.

Alice's hesitation didn't last long, and she tried her best to calm the human down. The woman just seemed to notice her then, and I saw a moment of shock in her face. There was something in her eyes, recognition maybe? But that was impossible. I tried to listen to what should have been her frantic thoughts, but I found absolutely nothing.

Her mind was completely silent, and I was completely blown away. This had never happened before.

Carlisle was quick to go into the room to help, easily hearing her scream. He introduced himself quickly then worked on trying to get her to calm down. It wasn't an easy task, but as she watched him with the most peculiar expression, trying to match his exaggerated breathing, her heart rate slowly calmed down. The fast and steady stream of her tears never lessened though.

"My baby…" I hadn't really been sure what to expect about her reaction, she was very young to be pregnant in this day and age, but it was obvious in her voice that she had loved her unborn child dearly.

"I'm very sorry Isabella. He didn't suffer though, it was very quick."

"How?" She asked quietly. Carlisle didn't think it would be safe to talk to her about it right now, she was too distraught, she didn't need the extra pain. She looked up at him, angrily at that. "I want to know how." I had to admit, even I would have taken a step back from the strength in her voice.

Humans were usually very uncomfortable around us, and most of the time a little scared. But there was no fear in her voice. I realized that she was a very brave person.

"Your windshield shattered. A large piece of glass was wedged into your abdomen when you were brought in. My daughter here, Alice, was the one who had found you. I don't think you would have survived if she hadn't gotten you here so quickly."

She looked at Alice once again, though briefly, before looking down into her lap silently. Carlisle waited for her to say something, comment or ask a question maybe, but it seemed like she didn't want to speak at all, so he tried talking again. "She's been worried sick about you, barely left your side while you were out."

He saw her eyes narrow after a moment, and she didn't look away from her lap as she spoke. "When?"

"Almost four weeks," Alice told her immediately, yet very gently. She hadn't seen the question, and it bothered her. Usually if she was concentrating this hard on trying to see something, she could watch an entire conversation in detail. It was a very interesting thing to watch, and because of it I'm probably the only vampire who has Deja-vu.

Silence once again. It was torturous for Carlisle to watch her suffering like this, completely alone. Even though they couldn't find anything, he still had to at least ask if there was someone he could call. She just shook her head once, closing her eyes tightly. He needed to get the wires and cuff for the monitor back on her. Even after laying here healing for the past few weeks, it would take much longer for her extensive injuries to heal. She would have scarring on some of her internal organs that had been damaged, and along with all of the breaks she would be in a lot pain without her morphine drip, and her body needed the sustenance from the IV. She looked much calmer now than an hour ago though, so he went to reattach everything she had ripped out.

The second his hand had lightly touched her arm, her eyes flashed opened and ripped it away from him. Her glare was furious, enraged. He offered her a small, reassuring smile while he explained in a gentle voice. "I need to re-attach this, your body needs the medication and the vitamins Isabella. Your-"

"_Don't you fucking touch me_," she hissed in the most terrifying, angry voice I had ever heard. None of us had been expecting that at all, and I didn't blame Carlisle for backing away. The vulgar word and intensity of her glare just seemed so out of place on this gentle, delicate-looking woman. He didn't want to scare her and risk her freaking out and hurting herself. She would be okay with it out for a little while, and he would give her a bit of space until she was calmer. Carlisle told her that he'd come back again to check up on her after she got some rest, telling Alice to come. "Just a sec," she said, then pulled something out of her pocket. She handed her a ring and a necklace, placing it on the bed next to her when she didn't react to her outstretched arm. It was an engagement ring, I realized. Alice hadn't told me. She didn't say anything, and the two of them left her room silently, neither of them really wanting to leave her alone. They came and found me, wanting a report, and we all heard as she broke into painful sobs again once they were gone.

"So? What did you find out?" Alice asked. She was so worried, she just wanted to know anything that might be able to help her, no matter how small.

"Absolutely nothing. I can't hear her thoughts at all. She was completely silent," I told them, still having trouble grasping the idea. They both looked at me in shock, wondering how that was possible.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle just became more worried when he checked up on her later. She didn't look at him, didn't even acknowledge his presence. We were both surprised when she didn't flinch away from his cold skin, seemingly unbothered by it this time. She just sat there, completely unresponsive while he checked her over and talked to her while he re-attached her wires and IV. It was like she didn't even know that he was there, until he mentioned the morphine drip.

Then she was there completely once again, pulling away from him quickly and shaking her head in refusal. He tried to explain to her why it would be in her best interests, but she cut him off once again with an angry hiss. "No."

"You'll be in too much pain without it," he told her gently. He couldn't tolerate the idea of her sitting here suffering, and he put a gentle hand on her arm to try and sooth her. "I'm sorry but-"

"NO!" She screamed, and he could smell the blood in her mouth from putting such a straining force into the word. If it was painful though it didn't stop her. She screamed and thrashed around in a panic, and Carlisle quickly let go of her and stepped back in horror. She shouldn't have been able to move like that, and he was terrified that he would make her hurt herself. Legally, he couldn't medicate her against her will, and he could never bring himself to do that to the small woman. He apologized repeatedly, trying to reassure her that he meant her no harm and that he wouldn't force her. She just glared at him, a look that could make even a vampire feel cold, until he left her room. As soon as he was outside his hands slid into his hair, gripping on tightly as he leaned his forehead against the wall of the hall way. I rushed to his side. He couldn't believe how he had scared her. He was overwhelmed by not knowing what to do, and wanting so desperately to do _something_.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle was starting to believe that he had done irreparable damage. He didn't dare try to force her to start taking the medication, but it was very hard for him. She wouldn't eat or drink, it didn't seem like she was sleeping, she never even acknowledged him. She didn't shed a single tear since the day she had woken up. Her expression was just as vacant as the sound of her thoughts. There was nothing there.

Alice visited her every day, even though it didn't really seem like she noticed. It became apparent after two days that she had no interest in eating, but she didn't stop bringing her food. Alice was sure that she would start eating again, that she just needed time, and since she would always turn off the TV whenever she was alone Alice refused to let her sit alone in silence. It was painful for her to watch the empty, dazed look in her eyes as she just sat there staring into nothing, but didn't show it. She would sit at her bedside talking to her from eight in the morning until eight at night, then go home to Jasper where he would hold her and comfort her. He asked if she wanted him to come and try to help, but she didn't want him to suffer through the pain of being inside a hospital. Even without the scent of blood perfuming the halls, hospitals were a highly intense environment of emotions.

After two weeks though, there was a subtle change in the human's demeanor. It was so slight that we would never have been able to notice if we hadn't been playing such close attention. Alice came into her room one morning, and Isabella sent her a fleeting look before going back to staring at the wall across from her bed, and it looked like her rigid posture had relaxed slightly. Alice was over joyed by that small moment, and it gave her a new found faith in what she was doing. I was worried that she was getting her hopes up at first, but from then it seemed like she relaxed a little bit more each day that Alice came in even though she didn't look at her again.

**. . . . .**

I was leaving work when Alice came in one morning. It bothered me that she kept a complete opposite schedule of visitation from my working hours. I was stuck watching the few glimpses from her memories that I would see when we crossed paths. Today was different though, she was practically skipping with a big smile on her face as she entered.

"Hey Alice, what's got you in such a great mood today?"

She beamed at me. "I think Isabella is going to talk to me today," she informed me happily. My eyes widened in shock.

"About what?"

"No idea," she said, then skipped past me to the elevators. Curious, I followed her and snuck back into my office unnoticed to watch.

Alice watched her closely while she talked today, and it was late in the afternoon when we saw the small spark of life in her eyes. She didn't turn her head, but she opened her mouth as if to speak. Nothing came out though, but Alice was ready and waiting with a glass of water. She stood up, and held the glass close to her mouth, and let her decide if she wanted to drink. She was worried about being too forward and making her panic like Carlisle had.

She looked at Alice, a real look, not a passing glimpse with empty eyes. She was very much there this time, and debated for a long moment before slightly leaning forward. Alice brought the glass to her lips gently. She winced when she swallowed, and after a third small mouthful she looked in pain. That was normal though for someone who hadn't eaten or drank anything in so long. Alice put the glass down, and waited expectantly.

"A-Alice," she said painfully. Alice wished she could tell what she was going to say, even though she wanted her to talk to her, it broke her heart to see her suffer from the effort. "Do you know what happened to my things?"

_Of course, I should have known. But I can't just come out and say it, I should have no idea of what she wants… Damnit! I hate this._ "Yeah, they're at my house. Sorry, but I didn't want anybody messing with your stuff." I smiled, realizing that she included me in that list. "Would you like me to bring anything over?" She asked, already knowing the answer. She had gotten too good at blocking me out over the years, and I was frustrated that she had managed to keep so much from me.

"Tin, Black-" she winced again, breathing heavily. I saw the box in her mind as Alice nodded. She asked if there was anything else that she wanted, but Isabella just shook her head. I tried not to think of her name too often, liking the sound of it too much. Alice went back to talking about useless things, just making noise to fill the quiet room.

"What's in the box?" I asked her when she came out, she wasn't surprised to see me waiting there for her, although she was slightly annoyed. She was getting a little sick of me eavesdropping

"I don't know, I didn't look." I saw that she was being honest. Apparently that tin box was the most import thing that this girl owned, and that even Alice thought it was too personal to open. I sighed in frustration, and gave her a drive home.

**. . . . .**

Alice came in just as my shift ended, and I walked her up to the human's room, then leaned beside the door as Alice went inside. Watching through her eyes, I saw her regarding Alice's purse expectantly, completely ignoring the plate of food that she sat down beside her bed as usual. Alice was excited, thinking that this was going to be the changing point, the moment that would help start putting everything into motion. That expectant look was the closest thing to an emotion I had seen on her face since her infuriated glare at Carlisle weeks ago.

"I didn't forget, here you go," Alice told her happily, delicately handing her the tin box.

I waited expectantly for her to open it, but she just hugged it tightly to her chest. I saw what Alice had meant by it being important to her, and she seemed to hold onto it like it was the only thing in the world that could save her from drowning. I had expected her to cry, she looked like she wanted to, but not a single tear escaped those anguished brown eyes.

After a couple moments, she reached out and comfortably took Alice's hand. _"Thank you, Alice."_ The words were so filled with emotion, gratitude mostly, but there was that knowing look that she had had in her eyes before. Ah! This was so frustrating, why couldn't I just hear her? Alice's happiness was instant. She also didn't have the old frustration that she had had before from not being able to see her properly. She thought it was a little nice, normal even, not knowing exactly what was going to happen.

It was a very subtle difference, but there was a change in her. I saw that for the rest of Alice's visit she was putting in an effort to actually pay attention to her words now. She hadn't immediately drifted back into her usual unresponsive state, though it looked very difficult for her. Alice didn't seem to notice just _how_ carefully she was watching her, carried away by her own excitement.

I saw her do the same thing when Carlisle went to check on her later that day. He was getting really worried about how long it was taking her stitches to heal. She needed to eat. I laughed out loud, just as he did, when she eyed the IV bag he was changing warily. He was just happy that she wasn't ignoring him today.

"If you ate something, I could take it out," he told her teasingly.

"I'm not hungry." Her voice was too quiet, weak. Carlisle's worry was eating away at him, he didn't know what to do.

"I know sweetie. But it will get better." He wasn't expecting her to talk anymore, and was taken by surprise by her question.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you know that it will get any better?" There was an almost desperate tone to her voice, like she wanted to believe him, but just couldn't.

He heard it too, and felt a little hopeful. Maybe she didn't actually want to die, it seemed like she just didn't know what to do with herself. "My wife lost a child. It nearly killed her. It's not something that she ever completely got over, but after time she found out that there are other things in life worth living for."

She gave the slightest nod and then seemed to shut down again, and he was disappointed that his words didn't seem to help her.

"It's not your fault Carlisle. You're doing everything that you can," I said, trying to ease his pain. It didn't work.

"But it's not enough!" He hissed. I was surprised by his emotional outburst. I hadn't realized how attached he had gotten to her as well. I had been too distracted lately.

"Alice says that she'll get better," I reminded him.

"I know… but it doesn't make it any easier to watch her suffer now. I think I'll bring Esme in tomorrow, maybe she'll be able to help her somehow."

I thought about Esme's power, how she seemed to radiate love into other people, and chastised myself for not thinking of that sooner.

"I think that's a good idea, worth a try anyways."

**. . . . .**

Alice ignored me as she led Esme into the room, a sad smile on her face, but she wasn't thinking about whatever vision she had had earlier. The human gave her an interested look, and waited quietly for Alice to introduce her.

"Hey Isabella, this is my Mom, Esme."

"Hello dear, it's really nice to finally meet you. I've been wanting to find out what's been keeping Alice so occupied lately." Esme's motherly personality immediately took over. She was heartbroken, seeing the small, frail girl. It was in Esme's nature to love people, to worry about them and try to care for them and help them, so I wasn't too surprised by her sudden feeling of need to help the girl.

"Hi," she said, and Esme was thrilled that she had responded. From what she had heard from us, she wasn't sure that she would talk to her.

Alice had a small vision while the three of them were sitting together. It wasn't much, just Esme holding the girl. But they were alone, and she trusted her impulse to excuse herself.

They were quiet for a minute, but the girl seemed to not be able to help taking a peek at her. _She looks so tired, I wonder if she's in pain… _"Isabella, how are you feeling?" She wanted to ask so much more, and tried to push those feelings into the words.

She looked away again, and Esme was worried that she might have upset her. "I don't know," she whispered. I was surprised by the honesty in her voice. I think that she actually _wanted_ to talk to Esme. Seeing her wince from the attempt to speak, she instinctively held out a glass of water. The human gave her a short, cautious look, and then leaned forward to accept it. Esme worried as she cringed from the attempt to swallow, but it was obvious that she wanted more. Her swallows became more urgent and she quickly choked while trying to take too much and started coughing. Esme panicked from the obvious pain the motion was causing her, and not knowing what else to do she slid onto the edge of her bed and started rubbing her back soothingly until her breathing settled. Once she had calmed, she reached for the water again, surprising us both. This was by far the most she had drank, and Esme couldn't deny her want to finish the glass. She regretted it when she looked like she felt ill afterwards. There was a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead, she was shaking badly, and her face had impossibly gotten even paler.

"Are you okay dear? Do you want me to call Carlisle?" She shook her head quickly, closing her eyes tightly. Why wouldn't she let them help her? Why was she subjecting herself to this torture? But Esme easily remembered the guilt, the self-loathing that she had had for herself when she had lost her son. She didn't love his father, but she had loved her child even more than her own life. She was in so much pain, completely alone with no one to help her, and had tried to end her own life. _No, I will not let this child go down that path. She needs to talk to someone about it._

"I don't know if my husband told you, but I lost a child once." The girl looked up at her in surprise. _Oh dear, I hope she doesn't get angry with him…_ "Please excuse him for his indiscretion. He's just worried about you."

"I'm sorry." It took me a second to figure out what she was apologizing for, and I realized that she felt bad about worrying Carlisle. Curious. Alice came back to my side, and we listened in amazement as Esme easily got her talking.

"There's nothing to apologize for dear. It's okay. I know how hard it is."

"How old was he?"

It was still painful to think of her lost son, but she would do whatever she could to help this girl. "Two days. Two very short days."

"How did you deal with it?" That desperation was in her voice again, and I wasn't the only one who saw a flicker of hope in her. Esme was honest with her, there was no point in lying to this girl, because she was experiencing it for herself.

"Not well, I met Carlisle shortly after. My ex-husband wasn't… a very nice man."

"My fiancé wasn't." The words had caught in her throat. I thought she had been saying that her child's father hadn't been a good person either and the thought of her also living in fear of a man enraged me, but Esme heard something different in her voice.

"Wasn't what Dear?"

She was quiet for a long moment, her expression tortured, but when she did finally speak her words came out very quickly, panicked and filed with pain. "He wasn't a bad man. He was a great man. He loved me more than anything, just like I did him. He died, two days after he asked me to marry him. The same day I had told him about our baby. He was so happy, and then…" She gripped onto her chest, and I worried that she was going to have a heart attack, but Alice stopped me from running into the room. _Just wait._

Esme slid onto her bed and gave her a gentle hug, and we watched as the girl clutched onto her. Her breathing hitched in painful sobs, but still her eyes remained dry. No, for her, this was worse than having the past of a bad relationship; she had lost someone she had loved greatly along with her child. And then there was her adopted father also. We all came to that conclusion, and her state made complete sense to us all now. They stayed like that for a long time, until her breathing calmed and she seemed to relax a little. I knew that she was feeling Esme's power.

"I should have brought her here sooner," Alice said, angry with herself.

She thanked Esme, and seemed surprised, but still un-afraid when Esme kissed her on the forehead.

Esme didn't want to leave her, especially when she saw a flicker of sadness in the girl's eyes when she said goodbye. After asking if she could visit again, she was happy and relieved when the girl said that she would like that.

I walked them out to the car, thinking about Esme's natural motherly influence. "She seems to really like you Esme. I bet if you brought her food yourself, she would feel too guilty to refuse it."

Alice closed her eyes, then smiled. "I think he might be right."

"Oh, I've always wanted to use the kitchen!"

**. . . . .**

The hospital was quiet, which was normal for this time of night. I was sitting in my office, responding to some e-mails, completely distracted.

I kept going over her words from today. She had been engaged, been in love with someone. Why did that bother me?

I had the feeling that she suspected that something was off about us, and my curiosity was driving me insane. I needed to know what was going on in her mind. Was it possible that maybe she had befriended someone in Quileute tribe, and heard something about us? No, that would have been breaking the treaty. Their leader, or Alpha, had been a very young man, but he was very serious about his role. Jacob Black wouldn't have let anyone be so flexible about their laws. It was very plausible that she realized we had lived in Forks just before she had left, and just found it strange that she had managed to come across us. She hadn't mentioned anything about it, but she wasn't really much of a talker.

That just made it even more frustrating. Not only could I not hear her thoughts, but I rarely heard her voice either.

Alice found that she could _see_ her better when she was closer to her. I had been in the hospital with her for a few weeks now, and I hadn't slipped up once. Her scent still drove me crazy, but I could control it. Maybe if I just got a little bit closer to her as well…

I looked at the clock, and it was just after two in the morning. She should probably be asleep, but maybe I could catch a glimpse of a dream.

The idea was too tempting, and I was in front of her room in two minutes. I listened carefully, and her breathing was very even, relaxed. I opened the door as quietly as possible, and stepped in.

Her eyes were closed, and her breathing remained even. I took a cautious breath. Her delicious scent had saturated the room. I felt the venom well in my mouth, but controlled myself. No, I wouldn't hurt her. I watched her for a minute, making sure I hadn't woken her, then slowly walked to the side of her bed.

The cuts on her face had healed very well. I was glad, she had an extremely beautiful face. Large eyes with thick, dark lashes, delicate full lips, smooth even skin. Even through the ill paleness her tone had taken, I could still see all those things. I had a hard time imagining how beautiful she would be with a smile on her face. The fuzzy image from Alice's vision wasn't good enough.

I leaned in a little closer, if I reached out my arm I would have been able to touch her. I stared at her hard, concentrating and… Nothing. Silence.

Then she opened her eyes, completely aware and alert. She hadn't been sleeping, after all. A good actress. I panicked slightly. What do I do? Should I run? I knew that this must look bad. But she looked at me calmly, her face neutral as he inspected me quickly. I wanted to moan in frustration, her silence was driving me mad. If I ran away, I would definitely seem guilty.

"Are you okay?" She asked me. Was that concern in her voice? Why would she worry about me? I actually had the opportunity to ask for the first time, so I did.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well… you were kind of just silently staring at me in the dark." She gave me an obvious look, and I was tempted to laugh. How did she know I had been here? I knew I had been silent. She still didn't seem scared though. I made up a hasty excuse.

"Oh, yes. Well, Carlisle just asked me to come in and check on you."

I saw suspicion flash quickly through her eyes. Those incredibly deep, beautiful brown eyes. Damn it, Carlisle had said goodbye to her before he left, that was a foolish mistake. I waited for her to call me out on it, but she did something worse.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks," she said dryly, before turning her head to the side and looking pointedly out of the window. It was an obvious dismissal, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave yet.

"My name is Edward. Edward Masen." It was the only thing I could think of saying. Mercifully, she looked back at me. I tried one more time, staring as deeply as I could into her eyes. Maybe through them I could break into her silent mind.

"Isabella," she said. She met my gaze evenly, curiously. Those eyes were just too powerful, and I had to look away. Feeling defeated, I excused myself.

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Have a nice night."

She didn't reply, and after I closed the door behind me, I looked back. She was staring out her window again, eyes empty once more. I would tell Carlisle when he came in that she wasn't sleeping when I checked up on her. I assumed she must be in pain, but she still never asked for any medication. She didn't ask for anything except for that mysterious box.

**. . . . .**

My fascination with this human wasn't healthy, I decided. But I also couldn't help myself, always reluctant to pass up an opportunity to see her, even if it was through someone else's eyes. She was still awake when Carlisle went in to check up on her.

He was happy once again that she was speaking to him. A definite difference, _I wish I had asked Esme to come sooner_. "How long will I have to keep these casts on?" she asked with light curiosity. She sounded so tired.

He apologized, saying it would still be a few months. She gave a faint sigh, and if it wasn't for his amplified sense of hearing, he wouldn't have noticed. "Are you okay Isabella?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I just feel really gross, and it would be nice to take a shower." I laughed at the normalcy of it. Carlisle was thrilled that she was showing an interest or desire for _something_, and wanted to do all he could to help her. He smiled at her.

"Well, I have to change the casts anyways. I think it would be safe to just tape up your ribs, and put separate casts on your arm and leg now. I can do it today, if you would like." After she let him know that she would appreciate it, he left her room a little excited. He looked at me when he came out of the room, and smiled.

"Did you see that?" He asked happily. I smiled at him.

"Yeah, a really noticeable difference."

He nodded, then looked at me. "When was the last time you went home Edward?" I took a minute to think about it, but that was all the information that he needed. "You're going to start raising suspicion," _and you need to hunt_, he added silently.

"Sorry… You're right. I'll get going." I shot one more look at her door before heading out to my car.

**. . . . .**

Esme was happily flitting around the kitchen while watching the food network. She had made about five different types of pasta, and had no idea which type to bring the girl.

"It's been a long time since she's had solid food Esme. Even if she does eat, I doubt her stomach would be able to handle more than a few bites," I warned her.

"I know… I'll bring the rest by the soup kitchen on our way into town, I just wish I knew if any of it was actually any good. They all smell horrible," she said, making me laugh.

"Sorry, I have no idea how to help," I confessed. She smiled at me, and pulled me into one of her motherly hugs.

"It's nice to see you at home, you at work too much dear." _I wonder why he's torturing himself so much, but he's obviously taken an interest in the girl, maybe…_

"I'm going to go hunting. Will you be home before I head to work tonight?"

"Yes, of course. Enjoy your lunch," she said happily, and went back to cleaning up her mess.

I just couldn't stop thinking of her. What was it about this human that seemed to draw in my family so much? I barely paid attention while I took down two dear, then went home and got cleaned up. The house was completely empty, something that didn't happen often, and I wondered where the others had gone. Even the silence reminded me of her.

**. . . . .**

Once again, when the Hospital went silent, I found myself in her doorway. She was awake, staring at the wrapped tin in her lap. I could see her new casts easily from here, and wished I hadn't missed Carlisle on my way in. I wanted to know if she had talked at all today. Did she eat any of Esme's food? Should I knock, or walk in? Maybe she didn't want to talk to me, I was sure that she had been upset catching me in a lie yesterday. If she did let me in, what would I say to her? Damn, I had had the entire day to think about it, she was messing with my head, why did she distract me so easily…

"Why don't you just come in?" She said in an even voice. I froze for a moment, I had been caught again. I followed her advice though, and walked up to her bed. I needed to think of something to say. She gave me an odd look. "You can sit if you want," she offered. I was completely comfortable, but remembered that it would be unusual for a human. I took her on the offer after thanking her, and sat down on one of the chairs beside her bed.

She was looking at the contents of her lap again. God, what was in that box? Maybe I should just ask her. She must have felt me watching her, because she met my eyes again and stared back. She seemed a little… annoyed? That didn't happen often to me with human girls. Not to sound self-absorbed, but members of the opposite gender were usually quite fond of me. Not her though.

Once again, I fell under the pressure of her powerful gaze. The streak of gold through her left iris was captivating, standing out so startlingly against the chocolate brown. I realized that she was probably waiting for me to say something. "How are you feeling today?"

It was a stupid question, considering her condition, and she seemed to think so too.

"Fine," she told me simply. I didn't believe her. Why did she keep staring at that box if it upset her so much?

"Liar," I accused lightly. I couldn't wait any longer "What's in the box?"

She seemed to grip onto it a little more tightly, and I heard her heart rate increase slightly. I immediately felt bad, I was curious but I'd rather deal with that than making her upset. "Important things," she said vaguely. I didn't push it, and watched her carefully to make sure she was alright. "Why are you staring at me?" She asked suddenly. Yes, I was definitely irritating her. She had a small crease in between her eyebrows as she scrunched them together. It was absolutely adorable, and I couldn't help my smile. That seemed to upset her even more, and I decided that I didn't want her to be mad at me. I wanted to see her again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just find you very… intriguing." She looked away from me this time, and as I saw her clutching onto that box, I realized that I was still making her uncomfortable. I didn't want that. "Well, I should probably get back to my rounds," I told her, but she didn't look up at me again, and just gave a small nod of acknowledgement. "Would it be okay if I came to visit you again?"

"Sure," she said, still not looking at me.

"Well, goodnight," I said, and she rested her head back on her pillow.

**. . . . .**

I had to stay late at work, being called in to assist in a surgery. The man had punctured a lung, and the surgery had been too much for his body to handle. He passed away on the operating table. There was a lot to do afterwards, and before I headed home, I decided to go check on the girl. Alice was walking her to her bed, having just helped her take a shower. Isabella seemed a little lost in thought, and for some invisible reason, out of nowhere, she started panicking. Her heart rate and breathing sped up, and she clutched at her chest again like she was in pain.

Alice was taken by surprise, not knowing what could have triggered it. "Isabella? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Her voice was weak when she spoke. "What happened to my truck?" She was worried about her vehicle? I found it hard to believe that she would have such a strong reaction thinking about her old truck. Alice gently sat her down on her bed.

"Your truck is fine. The damage wasn't too bad actually. I hope you don't mind, but I had the windshield replaced and the door fixed up."

Her face was surprised. "You had my truck fixed up for me?" She asked, like she was trying to make sure she had heard her properly. Alice nodded, seeing what she would do only a second before she did, and smiled happily. Isabella practically flew at her, hugging her. "Thank you Alice, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you. I can pay you back for the costs, I have money-"

Alice didn't want anything from her, and I knew that Rosalie wouldn't either.

"It was nothing really, my sister loves working on cars, so it didn't really cost anything. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." She said again, her voice was filled with gratitude.

"Hey, it's okay. It's what friends do, right?" She was a little nervous asking her that, and I felt her joy flow into me when the girl answered her.

"Right."

I watched for a little while as Alice entertained herself by playing with the girl like a doll, then I begrudgingly went home and spent the day listening to music, trying to let it clear my mind of everything else.

**. . . . .**

I heard a peculiar noise coming from her room when I went to visit that night, and this time I even had an excuse. Esme wanted me to bring her some soup, hoping that it would be easier on her than the pasta had been. I was a little ashamed to admit that these little visits were becoming the highlight of my days. What was she doing in there?

Then I heard something that sounded like she had fallen out of bed, accompanied by a muffled scream. I flew into her room, ripping the door open, and found her sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the room.

I dashed to her side, and stopped myself just before touching her. "Isabella! What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Fine," she hissed out. She was trying to push herself back up with one arm, but her muscles were too weak. I couldn't stand seeing her like that for another second, and she let out a small gasp of surprise as I easily scooped her up and placed her on her bed. I felt like I had been shocked by an electric current, her skin was like fire against mine. I liked it way too much.

"Umm, thanks," she mumbled, still a little shocked, but she quickly composed herself once more. Her breathing was quite laboured. She could have done major damage to herself with that fall, and I was extremely worried.

"Are you sure you're okay? Does it hurt any more than usual?"

"Nah, I'm good," she said easily. I had the impression that she was the type of person who had a hard time asking for help, or didn't want to appear weak. I didn't trust her response.

"I'm not buying it; you could have broken another rib. Would you mind if I checked? Or I could call for a different doctor, if you'd prefer." I had used up my air to talk, and when I went to take another breath I winced. She was bleeding, and the smell of that fresh, tantalizing blood seemed to make everything else fade away.

Carlisle burst through the door then, and the noise snapped me out of my thought. Alice had seen her fall a minute before it happened, and Carlisle had run here from the house.

To save her from me, once again.

I was mortified, and looked away from her so she wouldn't see my face. I stayed frozen in place, not even listening to Carlisle's mind as he tended to her injuries. I was determined not to flee, not to be overcome by this thirst again. I gripped tightly onto the thermos I was still holding. I could have just left it with Carlisle but… No, I wanted to give it to her myself. It was the weakest excuse to stay, but was an excuse none the less.

I almost laughed when Carlisle opened up her window. Yeah, like that would help. Her scent had saturated everything in this room, a cracked window didn't stand a chance. The small breeze of cool air was a small relief though. I could think a little more clearly, but Carlisle didn't want to take a chance leaving me alone with her still and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

_I'm sorry Edward, but I just can't take the chance_, he told me sadly. He felt bad about it, but was more worried about the girl.

I was humiliated, but I didn't hold it against him. "It's okay, I understand," I whispered, too quickly and too quietly for the human to hear. I realized that I had been standing much too still, and started moving my chest again to imitate breathing as I turned around and walked carefully up to her bed. "Esme asked me to bring this to you on my way in. She thought soup might be easier on your stomach." I took another careful step away as soon as she took it from my hands. I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes.

"Thank you, Edward." Hearing my name spoken on her lips sent an unexpected thrill through my body, and I couldn't help my smile. "And please, thank Esme for me too."

"Of course. Have a good night," I told her. That was the last of my air again, and I fled the room, walked past my office, and went outside to take a deep breath of clean air. I shouldn't have been surprised to find Alice waiting for me.

"I'm sorry Alice," I told her truthfully. I was grateful that she had sent Carlisle, I never would have forgiven myself if I had hurt her.

"It's okay Ed. I don't think you would have hurt her… I just had to take the precaution. You understand, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Oh! She's going to talk to Carlisle. He's going to feel so happy…" She said, walking inside to eavesdrop. I followed closely behind.

"Do you think she'd be mad if she found out what we were doing?" I asked her curiously. She knew her much better than I did, unfortunately.

"Oh yes, definitely," she said with a mischievous smile. "So you better not let her find out."

"It's a very rewarding career, working to try and save people's lives. It makes me feel like I'm doing a little good in a world that's filled with so much bad." Carlisle said. The rest of his answer went unspoken. He wanted to try and counteract some of the pain that our kind inflicted upon the world. He was trying to save his soul, even though he thought it wasn't possible. He never felt like he did enough.

"You're a great Doctor Carlisle, the best I ever had. And I've had a lot. I hope you know that what you're doing really does make a difference in people's lives."

It was like she was reading his mind also, knowing exactly what to say to make him feel better. There was no way that she could know just how much those words meant to him. He was so grateful, and filled with happiness. I realized that he had come to love this girl, and I should have seen it sooner. He saw her as one of his own children, just like the rest of us. The need to protect her, to heal her and help her was so, so strong inside of him. He rested a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, Isabella," _You have no idea how much it means to me, hearing those words from you._

I went back to my office, slowly working through the ridiculous amount of e-mails that were cluttering my inbox. I was befuddled by how this little human had wrapped my family so easily around her fingers. Alice, Carlisle, and even Esme were completely in love with her already. It was crazy and… dangerous. How could this possibly work out positively? We would have to leave eventually or she would notice that we don't age, and telling her what we were would result in a death sentence from the Volturi.

It was hard to blame them though, because even I had become interested. I didn't understand her, and I wanted to. It was all I thought about, and I'm pretty sure it was slowly driving me mad.

What I did know about her, I liked. She was strong, independent, and caring. I knew from her academic records that she was smart, and she was very mature for her young age. And then there was her silent mind. I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, desperate to try and figure the puzzle out, but even through her eyes and beautiful face she didn't seem to let any of her secrets escape. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know_ her_. I needed to, like I needed the blood that I drank to keep myself strong. My burning interest in her was just as strong as the flames that threatened to burn through my throat when I was around her.

I was being absolutely ridiculous. I needed to find a healthier hobby. My shift ended, and I went home, determined not to go by her room again. She would get better, than move on to wherever it was that she was going, and I would be left in peace. I could wait out the next few months, that was nothing to my kind.

Alice was bouncing around the house, unable to contain her excitement when I came in from my hunt. She was singing loudly in her mind, just out of joy, not actually trying to block me out, but it had the same effect.

"What's got you all excited?" I asked her curiously.

"I think she's going to stay," she told me happily. "I can't be certain of course, but I think there's a good chance that she might."

I looked at her, wide-eyed. "Is that really a good idea?" I asked her, a little worriedly. She must know that we would have to leave again in a couple years.

"Don't be such a downer Edward. Everything will work out." She ran up to her room then, leaving me alone in the foyer.

Well then, that changes everything. My weak resolve to avoid her for the remainder of her stay crumbled apart in front of me. I was surprised by my own relief.

If she was going to be sticking around, hanging out with my sister- niece here, I corrected myself. It felt a little ridiculous- it would only be logical to get to know her, right? By the time I got to work, I had about three hundred and forty seven questions that I wanted to ask her.

I waited until the hospital got quiet, then went to check if she was still awake. Her door was open, and I knocked lightly with my right hand, the left carrying a container of weird looking gelatin that was apparently food. Esme had thought that she liked it earlier today, so I picked up some more for her.

She didn't seem to hear me, so I knocked again, this time saying her name. Nothing. She was staring at the ring on her finger, twisting it around again and again. Her face was completely emotionless.

I walked up to her bed, and said her name again, a little worried.

She looked up at me, a little surprised. I don't think she had heard me at all. "Oh, hey," she said a little difficultly. Her voice was thick with emotion, and she coughed like she was trying to clear it. The motion seemed painful.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly. Maybe she was feeling sick. I saw a flash of annoyance in her eyes, and realized that she probably got that question a lot.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said easily, and she looked out her window. I wondered why she never watched the television in her room, but she seemed to prefer watching the trees outside. I felt a little bad, it can't be easy to be stuck in this room all the time. Maybe I could escort her outside sometime soon. She was slowly starting to eat again, and Carlisle was hoping to take her IV out soon. I went and opened the window for her; she had seemed to like the breeze the other day. I was happy to see her relax slightly, erasing her irritation with me. "Thanks," she said quietly, and I considered that a small victory.

"Esme thought that you seemed to enjoy the Jell-O today, and asked me to bring by some more," I lied quickly. It sounded much better than 'Yeah, I was eaves dropping on you earlier today, and you seemed to enjoy eating this odd, jiggly excuse for food…'

"Thanks," she said again, as I slid her table closer to her and placed the food on it. It would be really nice if she would say more than two words to me. She talks to Alice, Esme and Carlisle… And human girls usually loved talking to me, even with the slight unease that came with being around a predator. She seemed completely uninterested though.

"Not a problem," I said. She took a few slow, small bites of the food, and I tried to decide which one of my questions I wanted to ask her first. I was a little distracted though by the slight shake in her hand, and the obvious effort that it took her to lift the spoon up to her mouth, chew, and swallow. At first I thought she was staring at her spoon, but I realized it was the ring that she was looking at still.

"That's a beautiful ring," I blurted out. I felt wrong referring to it as beautiful when she was in the room though. "So, you're married?"

God, that was a horribly stupid question. I knew it before her hand started to shake so much that she had to put down her utensil. She also seemed to be having some difficulty breathing, though I could tell that she was trying to keep it even. What was wrong with me? Something about being in her presence made me lose all poise and eloquence. Obviously she wasn't married, she was sitting here alone in a hospital on the opposite side of the continent. She had even told us that her fiancé was dead.

I was trying to figure out some way to apologize, but once again I couldn't seem to find any words. It was a long, tense moment before she beat me to speaking. "No, I guess I'm not." Her voice caught painfully on the words, and I wanted so badly to reach out and take her in my arms, to hold her and comfort her. She looked like she was so close to tears, which she hadn't done in weeks. I swear, if I was the one to make her cry, I would build my own pyre and hold myself to the stake as I burned.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, that was a really insensitive thing for me to ask. I didn't mean to-"

"I'm kind of tired," she said, cutting me off. I felt a sharp pain go through my dead heart. She obviously wanted me to leave, and I couldn't really blame her.

Dejectedly, I rose from my chair. "Yes, of course. Good night, Isabella."

She didn't even look at me.

I flinched, hearing her strangled sob as I closed her door behind me. I walked back to my office, closed my door behind me, and dropped into my chair. I rested my elbows on my desk, hiding my face in my hands.

It wasn't long before Alice snuck into my office, and sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk.

"I had come here to yell at you, but you seem to be doing a fine job already at beating yourself up."

"What's wrong with me Alice?" I asked rhetorically. She answered anyways.

"You love her," she said easily.

I looked at her disbelievingly. "Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, it's obvious. You've been practically stalking her since she woke up, and when was the last time you've gone more than five minutes without thinking of her?"

I ignored that. "I don't even know her Alice. I'm just bothered by the fact that I can't hear her thoughts."

She smiled at me, getting up and walking to the door. "You don't know her _yet_, and the few things you do know already made you love her. Just wait until you _really_ get to know her." She laughed, and left me alone in my office, completely speechless.

I knew better than to bet against Alice.

It was a horribly long night, knowing that Isabella was down the hall from me, upset and alone in her room. I didn't bother shying around her name anymore, I enjoyed the sound of it too much.

Alice waited impatiently for an acceptable hour to come around so she could go in and try to clean up the damage I had done. I went outside, and sat in the grass, leaning against the side of the building below her window. She looked completely exhausted, it was obvious that she hadn't gotten a moment of sleep. Alice saw a flash of relief in her face when she walked in.

I tuned out while Alice helped her take another shower, but when I heard the creak of her sitting down on her bed again I resumed listening and watching carefully through Alice's eyes. She seemed a little better.

Isabella asked Alice to pass her one of her suitcases. Apparently she had lost the key for its lock, and I listened in disbelief as she asked her to pass her something to pick it with. Alice thought it was hilarious, handing her a bobby pin and watching her carefully maneuver the tumblers and open it. I hadn't been expecting that in the slightest, and wondered where she had learned to do it.

I was overcome with jealousy as the two of them sat together on the small bed, and Isabella invited her to look through one of her photo albums. Alice's vision was slowly coming alive, I could tell that she actually enjoyed _her_ company. She shared some of her stories and memories about her life with her.

Her mood had seemed to lighten marginally while she had been talking to Alice, but perceptibly plummeted very suddenly while she had been listening. She didn't understand what had triggered it, just telling her little details about the town we were in. It seemed to happen occasionally to her. We would think that her mood was starting to lighten, and then it would automatically drop back down. It was painful for us all to watch.

Alice had been battling for a long time with the idea of bringing Jasper to meet her. She didn't want to put him through that pain, and hoped that she would be able to help Isabella without his influence. But she saw her only getting worse tomorrow, and decided that she couldn't bear to keep watching it.

Isabella seemed to still be trying to be polite though, and Alice decided it would be best if she left her to relax without the pressure of trying to please her. After putting her stuff away for her, she asked if she could bring Jasper over to see her tomorrow. Relieved that she didn't seem to mind, she wished her a goodnight.

I debated on going to see her tonight. Would she still be upset with me? I wouldn't doubt it if she didn't want to see me. But who's to say that she _never_ wanted to see me? She was a very polite person, and as I noted before a pretty good actress.

I couldn't stay away though. I walked down the hall, and knocked on her open door. "You can come in," she said quietly, barely looking up. I went and sat in the chair beside her bed, and inspected her face carefully. She looked really sick, and I think it would have been in her best interests to just sedate her and force her body to get some sleep. She looked over, and gave me a curious look. What did she think when she looked at my face? I couldn't read her mind, but I felt like she could see into mine. Even in her sickness, those eyes still looked so deep, so knowledgeable. What I would give to see what they were hiding.

I didn't know if she enjoyed my company or not, but I was determined to make her at least not hate me. I needed to be more careful, and work harder than I had yesterday. "I'm sorry again about yesterday. That was really insensitive of me."

"Don't worry about it." Her voice was even and polite. It was infuriating.

"You don't look like you slept very well last night." Maybe she would ask for something if I made her talk about it. She just shrugged, too smart to bother trying to deny it. But she didn't offer anything either. Maybe if I asked her _why_ she wasn't sleeping…

"So, do you only work night shifts? It's the only time I see you."

It was the largest sentence she had ever spoken to me, _and_ she was asking me a personal question. I was delighted that she seemed to actually want to talk to me, and I answered her quickly, wanting to take as much advantage of it as possible; I had been waiting a long time for this moment. "Mostly. They needed more Doctors for evenings, and I don't mind the hours really. Most people are asleep, so it's pretty quiet."

"You look pretty young to be a Doctor."

I wasn't surprised by the comment. I knew she was smart, she probably knew how long it took to get a doctorate's degree. I didn't want to give her the usual lie that I had finished school early, at a very young age, and had just started working here. I said the only truthful thing I could, and hoped that she wouldn't shut me out because of it. "Yeah, I get that a lot." I smiled at her, a little hopeful. I have been in enough female minds to know that it was a very good smile, but once again, she was immune to my charms.

"So, you must get pretty bored to end up in here with me. I know I can't be very interesting company." She was still talking to me, even if the words were ridiculous, I was still relieved. She was the most interesting person I had ever met.

"On the contrary, I find you very interesting." She shook her head, in disagreement? Exasperation? Irritation? I didn't know! And I needed to. "What are you thinking?" Oh my God, how much of a relief it felt to finally ask her those words.

I seemed to surprise her a little with the intensity of my curiosity. "I don't understand why you keep coming back here," she said quickly.

Isn't it obvious? I felt like it was written on my forehead. Alice was right, but there was no way I could admit that to either of them. "I just told you, I think you're interesting," I said in an easy, teasing voice.

She gave me another look, but I couldn't read her expression. "I'm not sure if that's an insult of a compliment."

I was aghast, could she truly think that I was trying to insult her? I quickly analyzed my behaviours over the past few days. She was a very perceptive person, is it possible that she had caught on to more of my slip-ups than she led on? My gracelessness around her could have come off as rude I guess. Once again, I was ashamed of myself. "I definitely did not mean it as an insult, but I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

She gave me another speculative look, and I prayed that she saw my honesty. Feeling weak under her gaze, I tried to shift the subject. What was something normal to ask? "So, what sort of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?"

I thought it was an easy, safe question to ask, but she thought about it carefully for a while before answering. I had never been a patient person before, and being around her was making that even worse, but I tried my hardest to at least _look_ patient. I was tempted to start tapping my foot, something that had never happened to me before.

"I like to read." That's it? That's what she took so long to decide to say? No, it wasn't enough.

"What do you like reading?"

"Anything and everything. Novels, textbooks, poetry, research papers, new or old, it doesn't matter." She actually enjoyed reading textbooks? I'm pretty sure that that was very… not normal for human teenagers.

"Do you have a favourite?"

"Not really, it changes with my mood." She was saying so much, but still giving me nothing at the same time. Can she not see how frustrating this was?

"What about TV shows, or movies?"

"No to TV, I don't really care for it. I don't mind movies, but I would rather read it in a book though." So that's why she never turned it on, she did actually prefer watching the trees outside.

"What sort of movies? Romance, comedy?"

She laughed. She actually laughed. It wasn't a real laugh though, it was empty of joy, but it made me dream of what her real laugh would sound like. "No, action movies mostly."

She surprised me once again; she likes action movies and can pick locks. "What's your favourite one?"

"Fight Club." I wanted to ask her what she liked about it exactly, but she spoke before I could. "What sort of stuff do you do?"

I didn't want to talk about myself, I still had years worth of questions that I wanted to ask her, but I was also pleased that she was curious enough to ask. Or was she just being courteous? Maybe she was uncomfortable talking about herself?

What had I been doing for entertainment lately? Obsessing about her, and that was not a good response. Before she had come here, it had been work as usual. "I like reading too, but lately it's been mostly for work."

"It can't be an easy career to keep up with, with medical sciences constantly changing and all."

"It's what I enjoy most about it really, I love learning new things. It's a bit of a passion of mine."

"Mine too," she said quickly. We had something in common. It explained why she had done so well in school. "What else?"

She stole the question from me. I thought quickly, what did I like to do? Everything seemed to pale in comparison to her company. "Music. I love playing the piano."

"I've always wanted to learn that. There is so much more you can say and express with music, words can be so restrictive sometimes." I was enthralled by her words, once again taking pleasure in the fact that we had things in common. She seemed a little embarrassed though. "Sorry, that probably sounded pretty weird."

"Not at all, I feel the same way, actually." She relaxed slightly, and tried to muffle a yawn. This was the most I had ever heard her talk before, and I realized that it was probably exhausting for her. I was even more reluctant to leave her now though, I was enjoying her company too much. I would have been happy to just sit here and watch her sleep. If she slept, that is. But I did want her to rest, and I doubted that she would if I was here staring at her. "Sorry, you should get some sleep, and I should probably get some work done."

"Oh, okay." Was that disappointment in her voice? No, I must have imagined it. Wishful thinking.

"Good night." She gave me a small nod, and I left her room.

My mind was spinning, and I could barely pay attention to the nurse as she went over her logs with me. Isabella had actually had a real conversation with me. I had heard her laugh. I had finally started to get a few answers to some of the many questions I had for her. She seemed almost happy while we talked too. I was struck with concern about that suddenly, worried that her mood would plummet again, as it always seemed to do when she showed the slightest bit of improvement. Was she sleeping now, or was she staring blankly out her window again?

One of the alerts chimed as someone called for a nurse. I looked over automatically, and my excitement shot up when I noticed that it was coming from Isabella's room. "Sorry Doctor Masen, I'm just going to go check this patient really quickly, I'll be right back."

"That's okay Stephanie, I'll go check on her for you. You can just finish this up and I'll sign off on it when I get back."

"Are you sure? You don't need to-" I was already walking away, ignoring whatever she was going to say. I walked into her room happily; once I had gotten more accustomed to her scent, it was entrancing to be around. There was nothing wrong with enjoying the bouquet, as long as I didn't sample it. "Miss me already?" I asked jokingly, then worried if I was being to forward. She didn't seem to notice though; she was sitting up in her bed, looking surprised to see me.

"Oh, sorry… I thought they'd send a nurse."

She was apologizing? Did she not see how happy I was for the opportunity to see her again so soon? "Nothing to apologize for. What's up?"

"Do you think you could… help me walk over to the bathroom?" Yes, she was a very independent person, it was obvious that she despised having to ask for help. She was smart to do so though, Carlisle had been completely serious is his threat to encase her in plaster for her own safety.

"Of course," I told her, trying to contain my excitement as I held out my hand for her. She only looked at it for a moment, then reached out. Once again I felt that burning electricity flow into me through her touch, and a momentary flash of surprise in her eyes told me that she had felt it too. She seemed to push it aside quickly though, ignoring it. I worried when she swayed once she stood up, and placed a steadying hand on her back. I could feel her bones through her thin shirt. I knew she was trying now, but she really needed to eat more, and soon. This is why she isn't healing properly, that and her sleeping issues. I couldn't even feel her weight as she let me help her across the short room, and wished that she would let me support more of her weight while she walked. I hated seeing how difficult it was for her to move, it was excruciating, I just wanted to pick her up and carry her. I don't know if I would have been able to let her go afterwards though.

She met my eyes, and gave me a waiting look. I just stared back, enjoying this rare closeness to her. She was like fire in my hands, and I was happy to burn. "Umm, a little privacy, maybe?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry. I'll just… wait outside." I stumbled over the words, abashed, then spun out of the door.

I waited patiently for her outside of the door, taking her hand again eagerly. She didn't acknowledge the tingling sensation caused by the contact of our skin again, but I was very much aware of it. She _had_ to feel it.

"Thank you," she said, after sitting back into her bed.

"Not a problem. I was kind of surprised that you were still awake, are you having trouble sleeping again?" I decided I had to ask her directly about these things, I think she was too strong minded to ask for help, it had been obvious that she hadn't wanted to when she called for the nurse.

"A little."

"Is the pain keeping you up? I can get you some painkillers or something to help you sleep if you want." _Please, just let me do something to help you._

"No thanks… Painkillers always make me sick. I'd prefer the pain to the nausea to be honest." She was already sick, I could give her an injection of Gravol to counteract any nausea. The thought of piercing a needle through her delicate skin was horrifying though, even though I've done it a thousand times before to other people. It was different with her though, and not just because of the temptation of her blood. Maybe she was lonely? Could that keep someone up? Maybe if I kept her company for a while I could manage to bore her to sleep.

"I could… sit with you for a bit if you want?"

"That- No, that's okay. Thank you though."

I was tempted to ask again, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "Okay, well just buzz if you want anything."

"Thank you."

She didn't seem too bad when I had left, so I was surprised to see Alice come in with Jasper so much earlier than she usually did. I saw her vision of Isabella, who had once again barely slept throughout the night. I cursed the girl's hard-to-read exterior, and then myself for not insisting to stay with her.

I walked them up to her room, and waited with anticipation inside of Jasper's mind. I should be able to get a better look into her mind through him. As we walked down the hall though, he was worried because he couldn't feel anyone there. "Maybe you just need to be closer to her," I told him, and he nodded.

Alice walked in ahead of us, and I saw Isabella smile. My jealousy returned; she could make her smile, but I couldn't. And this was a real smile, not empty like the small laugh I had taken as a small victory last night.

Jasper ignored me though, more concentrated on the small, seemingly emotionless girl in the room in front of him. He took one more step forward, and it was like walking into a brick wall.

She was happy, excited for the briefest moment to see Alice, then a second later, agonising guilt, followed by pain and sadness. We both winced under the weight of it.

"You should have brought me here sooner," he whispered to Alice, a little overwhelmed.

"Morning Isabella," she said, leading him into the room.

"Hey," she said weakly.

"This is my boyfriend Jasper, he wanted to come by and meet you," Alice said, trying to force the worry out of her expression.

She inspected Jasper quickly as he came in behind her. Recognition, and curiosity. _Does she know? _He asked me.

"I think she just realizes the similarities. She wouldn't be this calm if she knew what we were," I whispered from the other side of the door.

She felt embarrassed and self-conscious when he came in, so he lightly started to brush the emotions away. Her eyes widened in shock, and she looked at him accusingly. He was shocked too, we both were. Somehow, she had figured out that it was him manipulating her emotions. She composed herself quickly. Yes, she was much too perceptive. Intrigue, that was what she felt now about him.

"Hey," she said, utterly calm. Why wasn't she freaking out?

He thought her nonchalant words were hilarious, and somehow knew that she could feel his amusement. "Hey," he told her, smiling as he mirrored her cool words.

Another short flash of happiness, but over-ridden quickly by guilt. He wanted to help her, but wasn't sure she would appreciate him messing with her head now that she was aware of him. So he just started with a little, slowly erasing a tiny bit of the pain. She was worried for a moment, and he took that away too. As soon as it passed, she welcomed the relief, she was desperate for it. She couldn't stand drowning in her own pain anymore, but had no idea what to do with it. Knowing that she didn't mind, he drew it all away from her gladly.

_I can't make it go away for real, but I can give her some peace for a while_. We all watched gratefully as she collapsed back in her bed, completely as ease, and a beautiful smile spread across her relaxed face.

It was the oddest thing, how she thanked him. She concentrated on her gratitude, seemingly pointing it at him, like she was absorbing his gift and reflecting it back at him. No one had ever quite done that before. He did likewise, projecting his feeling of happiness to do so. Within minutes, she was sound asleep, and I walked into the room to join them.

"That was different," he said, and Alice looked at him, her eyes glazing over for a second.

"She knew it was you?" She asked in surprise, shooting a look at the girl.

"Definitely. It was like she could feel me in her mind, not just what I was doing. Even you hadn't caught on that quickly Edward." I laughed.

"But how was she?" she asked worriedly.

"Bad. I think it's a lot of survivor's guilt. Whoever she lost, she loved them. Really, truly loved him. That isn't an easy thing to heal from."

"There is definitely something different about her. It was strange that you couldn't feel her until you were inside of the room. And Alice sees her better when she closer to her."

"What about if you're closer to her? Have you tried?"

"Yes, I have. Not a single thought," I said, my frustration palpable.

"Interesting." Yes, that was an understatement.

I was slowly starting to find out more about her though, and as I left them to watch over her, I was determined to find out even more when I came back later tonight. I would come back every day, for as long as she would let me.

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Scars

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twelve :: Scars**

**Isabella**

When I woke up, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so well rested and relaxed. I groggily opened up my eyes, and realized that the sky was dark. My eyes opened wide then, looking around for a clock that didn't exist. Instead I found Jasper, sitting alone beside my bed with a book in his hand. He looked up at me when I woke up, and gave me a warm smile.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked him quietly.

"About fourteen hours," he said gently. Had he been sitting here the entire time, just to help me sleep? A wave of guilt washed over me, and I felt him quickly wipe it away, replacing it with calmness. Did all vampires have strange powers like this? I tried to figure out a way to ask without blowing my cover. He was watching me curiously.

"How do you do that?" I asked simply. I was certain that he already knew that I had figured it out. He looked a little uncomfortable, but I could actually_ feel_ his unease while he was still working in my mind. "Sorry, you don't need to answer that," I said shyly, feeling bad for making him _uncomfortable_ while he was comforting me. Once again, he brushed the feeling away.

"No, it's okay. I don't see the point in trying to hide it from you. I've never met someone who's figured it out as quickly as you did before." He gave me another curious look. My guess had been right. "I've been able to do it for as long as… I can remember, really." I'm pretty sure that he meant 'as long as I've been a vampire,' but I wasn't going to interrupt for obvious reasons. "For some reason, I can feel the emotions of everyone around me, just like they were my own feelings. After some time and practice, I realized that I could manipulate them as well."

"It can't be very easy then, being in a place like this." He just shrugged, but I could see that I was right. Even just being around me. I was immediately worried and guilty. I didn't want this kind vampire to suffer through my pain as well. He started pulling the feelings away again, and I felt too selfish for wanting it so badly. "Jasper, you really don't need to keep doing that."

"I want to though."

"Well, I _don't_ want you to. Thank you, I'm very grateful for your help, but I can deal with my problems on my own." No, I would not let him suffer with me. I needed to deal with this myself.

"Can you?"

Irritation shot through me at his suggestion of my weakness. Okay, I admit that I've been having some difficulty lately, but I'm pretty sure I was entitled to my sadness after everything that happened.

He tried to dissolve my anger, making it even worse, and I concentrated very hard on the feeling of him in my mind. Using all of the concentration I had, I pushed him out.

He stared at me, mouth open and eyes wide in surprise.

"I am _not_ weak. I don't need your help," I told him angrily.

His face looked hurt, and I instantly felt guilty. He had only been trying to help me, but he had really pissed me off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that."

I sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, but I _do_ need to deal with this on my own."

"It's okay, I understand. No hard feelings?" He was watching me worriedly, and I tried to give him a small smile.

"No hard feelings. I meant it though, thank you for your help. I haven't slept so well in months." Since I had fallen asleep in Jacob's arms, after he asked me to marry him.

"It was my pleasure. Do you mind if I ask you how you did that though?"

"Did what?"

"Pushed me out."

"I don't know… I could feel you there and… just pushed you out. I don't really know how else to explain it. Why?"

"Because no one has ever done that before either. I can't even feel you right now, your emotions are completely shielded from me." Good, I thought, happy that I was once again alone in my head. Elijah's words echoed in my mind once more. Is this what he meant by shield?

Alice came back with a tray of food for me then. The hospital food was horrible, but I made myself swallow one bite of everything. Some sort of mystery meat, soggy beans and lumpy mashed potatoes. I was tempted to ask one of them to take me down there so I could tell them how to do it properly, and save the rest of the patients from the horror of eating it. I filled up on the chocolate chip cookie, you just couldn't ruin chocolate.

It was pretty late, so Alice and Jasper left not long after. I was trying not to let them see how much I actually missed Jasper's influence. He didn't try to change my emotions for me again, but a little while after I had pushed him out I'm pretty sure he could feel me once more. I had no idea how to block him out again though, with no way to tell if it was working or not without asking him. None the less, after he had stopped helping me, I had no idea how to stop my mood from plummeting back down. It just wasn't right to be sitting here talking happily when my fiancé, father and child were all gone.

They both left the room, and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to push the feelings away myself. I opened them again after a few seconds when Jasper slipped into my room again, alone.

"What's up?" I asked him in a calm voice.

"Isabella, I won't manipulate your emotions again without your permission. I want you to know though that you shouldn't feel guilty about being alive when they're not. It's not your fault."

I looked at him evenly. "Jasper, you have no idea how wrong you are."

He didn't falter. "Either way, if they loved you even half as much as you loved them, they would want you to be happy."

And then he left.

**. . . . .**

I thought about his words for hours, and I couldn't argue that he was partially right. Charlie and Jacob loved me, of that I was completely sure. If I gave up and faded away, their sacrifices would have been in vain. I couldn't allow that.

So I would continue to live.

Even with that resolution made though, it didn't lessen the pain. Knowing that I would live a life without his touch, without his voice or smile was suffocating.

Even if I didn't enjoy it, I would live. For Jacob.

And after I was done on this planet, maybe I would be able to meet him again.

**. . . . .**

I was wide awake after sleeping all day, alert and energetic. I had no idea what time it was, but Alice and Jasper had left hours ago, and it was very dark outside. The hospital was eerily quiet. Maybe I should ask for a clock or something… No, I think that would be even worse, staring at the clock's hands as they slowly ticked by. Watching the trees would be better. Was I wearing my watch when I came here? I don't even remember the last time I had seen it.

It looked so pretty outside. The trees were all different colours of oranges, yellows and reds, not that I could make out the colours right now in the dark. It was probably getting cold out again, and soon the leaves would fall and I would have nothing but their empty dendroid shapes to admire.

God, this room was boring.

_I have books in my suitcase!_ Until now I hadn't really felt the desire to read, but being stuck in this eerie silence alone was driving me mad.

I carefully maneuvered myself out of my bed. To be sure that I wouldn't fall, I decided to use one of the chairs that were next to my bed. One had four metal legs, but the other was one of those wheeling computer-desk chairs. Alice had brought it in today to sit on. _Thank you Alice. _

I used my good leg to push it up against the wall so that it wouldn't roll away, then carefully stood out of my bed, and gently sat down. My ribs twitched painfully from the motion, making it a little difficult to breathe. I'm pretty sure it's been close to two months, shouldn't they have healed more by now? I sighed, then used my good leg to push myself across the room, dragging my leg cast along the floor behind me. I made it to the small closet and opened it up. I couldn't bend my torso, it was just too painful, and the suitcase was too low on the ground to reach. Luckily I hadn't locked it again, so I used my toes to undo the zipper before kicking it open slightly.

I knocked around the books, trying to figure out what I wanted to read. I had been trying to save money while in Forks, so I hadn't added much to my collection. The new books I had gotten, I had lent to Angela.

Angela, I hadn't talked to her since before Charlie had died. I never even said goodbye to her. I wondered how she was doing in school…

I just wasn't in the mood to read one of my novels again, I had already read them so many times. So I used my toes to pull out my dictionary. Why did it feel so much heavier? I was able to lift it close enough to grab it with my hand. "Yes!" I whispered happily, feeling triumphant. I slowly started to wheel myself back to my bed.

I tried to push myself up with my one good hand, but I barely made it two inches off of my chair before my arm gave out and I dropped back into my seat, hissing painfully. I quickly checked the stitches on my stomach, and was relieved to find out that at least I wasn't bleeding.

"Isabella, are you okay?" My door had been open, and Edward peeked his head into the room. Damn vampire hearing.

"Umm, I think I'm fine," I said hesitantly. I spun in my chair to look at him. He took one look at me in my chair, clutching a dictionary, and gave me an odd look. I panicked. "Please don't tell Carlisle." I gave him my best pout, and it seemed to do the trick.

"It doesn't look like there was any harm done, so I don't see the need to tattle," he said with a smile. "You look a little stuck though."

I felt my cheeks flush, and nodded. I didn't want to risk falling back in my chair again, it just hurt too much. He walked over, but didn't reach out to help me up. He just looked at me for a minute.

"You look wide awake."

"Yeah, I slept most of the day."

"Well, I'm taking a break right now… would you like to get out of this room for a little bit?"

I looked over at my IV. I wanted to say yes so badly. "Would that be okay?"

"Carlisle was going to take the IV out tomorrow anyways. If you promise to eat something tonight, I can take it out."

I smiled widely at him, not able to contain my excitement. He stared at me oddly for a minute, then went and grabbed a wheelchair. I watched his face carefully as he removed the IV, taping a cotton ball where it had been. I counted the seconds between his breathing, and just like with Alice, it was a little too even. He was very close to me, and I also didn't feel his breath, so I'm pretty sure that he wasn't actually breathing at all. Vampires were already dead though right? So they wouldn't really need air, would they?

He helped me stand up, quickly grabbed my quilt and wrapped it around my shoulders, and helped me gently sit in the wheel chair. He was so fluid in his motions, just like the others, and I always found it almost entrancing to watch. They made everything look like a dance. He propped up my leg, and I asked him to grab my purse for me, just out of habit.

I was practically bouncing in excitement as he rolled me down the hallway. It was so quiet in here, and I realized why when we passed by a clock. Three in the morning, my sleeping schedule was way messed up. We took an elevator down one floor, and he slowly wheeled me outside.

He was quiet while he led me around, and I was distracted by taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. We seemed to be surrounded by woods on three sides, and the front of the hospital was facing a river off in the distance, a road and a field the only thing in between. It was really pretty, and the fresh air felt amazing on my skin. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. When I opened them, I could see his face, and he was looking down at me with a small smile.

"Thank you Edward. You have no idea how good it feels to be outside of that little white room." My head was starting to get dizzy, so I leaned it forward again.

"You're very welcome." He stopped after a lap around the building, and parked me in front of a water fountain in a small courtyard behind the hospital. Even with all of the plants going into hibernation, it was still beautiful. He sat down on its edge in front of me.

"So, why did you go through so much effort to get that dictionary?" He asked me curiously.

"I had forgotten that I had lent the last new books I had gotten to a friend before I… left. I was looking for something to read, but I had already read the few books I have so many times already."

"So you decided to read a dictionary?"

I shrugged. It was so much harder to do with one arm weighed down in plaster. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

He laughed loudly. It was a nice sound. "You seem… better today."

"A good sleep can make a big difference."

He nodded. "You know that's why it's taking so long for you to heal. Your body needs rest, and food."

"I'm trying," I said quietly.

He leaned forward. "I know you're trying Isabella, and you've come a long way in a short time, but you need to let us help you." There was a pleading look in his eyes, and the strength of it surprised me. Yes, he visited me, but we really hadn't spoken very much. I didn't see why he would care so much. "You want to get out of here, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why aren't you sleeping?"

Because every time I close my eyes I see them. "I hurt everywhere. It keeps me up."

He nodded. "I know that the medication makes you sick, but we can give you something to counteract the nausea. Can you please let Carlisle give you something? At least at night so that your body can rest?"

I looked away, off into the woods, and thought about it for a few minutes. I did want to get out of here sooner if possible. I could deal with it for a couple of weeks, if it meant getting out of here faster. I nodded once, and it sounded like he sighed in relief. I looked over to find him smiling. "Can we stay out here for a little while longer though?"

"Of course."

We sat in comfortable silence, listening to the wind blowing through the dry leaves on the trees. The cold air was making it more painful to breathe, but I was reluctant to go back inside. Once I started to shiver though, Edward said it was time to go.

I asked him to stop when we passed a vending machine, and got a chocolate bar and a bottle of apple juice. I don't know how much weight I had lost, but I wasn't worried about the calories in the slightest.

"I'm going to give Carlisle a call and let him know that you changed your mind. Want to stop by my office with me?"

"Sure," I would be glad to procrastinate as much as possible before going back to that small room, and was surprised to find out that his office was just a ways down the hall from it. He wheeled me in, then walked around his desk and picked up his phone.

It was a simple office, a small room with a rectangular desk. There was a window centered on the back wall, with narrow book cases on either side of it. I stared at the titles on their spines while he spoke quickly and quietly to Carlisle, but the words were too small to read. I opened up my chocolate bar, and took a bite before he hung up.

"Carlisle was very pleased, he said I could start you on something tonight if you want."

"Okay," I said quietly. There was no point in holding it off I guess.

He brought me back to my room, and helped me get back into my bed before going and grabbing a few pills and a small glass of water. They weren't easy to swallow, but I got them down. "Well, I need to get back to work," he said uneasily.

"Thanks again for the little field trip."

"My pleasure. Good night."

I gave him a small wave, and he left the room.

**. . . . .**

I had waited to drift off, but it didn't happen. I'm pretty sure over an hour went by, but I couldn't be certain. My body started shaking, almost shivering, even though I wasn't cold. It was making me nauseous, and even though my body had started to feel numb, the slight, constant movement seemed to be making the pain worse. I couldn't think straight, my head was spinning and scattering my thoughts, and it started to scare me. I just couldn't take it anymore, and pressed the button to call the nurse. A woman came in only a minute or two later.

"Hello dear, did you call?"

I nodded. "I don't feel very well."

She came over, but my shaking was even making it hard to see, so I shut my eyes tightly. She took my blood pressure, then told me that she'd be right back.

She was, and she had Edward with her. He came over, and picked up my wrist, taking my pulse. Then he took my blood pressure too.

"Do you feel nauseous?"

"Yes-s," I whispered through chattering teeth. I wasn't cold, it felt so hot in here that I'm sure that I was sweating, but my body couldn't stay still. "I can't s-stop shaking, and it's making everything hurt, and I can't think straight and-"

"Shhh, Isabella, you're going to be just fine. Your body's just adapting to the medication." I wasn't far gone enough to admit to him that I was afraid, but I think he saw it in my face. "Stephanie, I'm just going to sit with her for a while. Can you come get me if anyone needs me?"

"Of course Doctor Masen," she said, giving me a gentle look. It was the first time I had heard someone call him Doctor Masen, he still looked much too young to be a doctor. I wondered what his cover story was, he hadn't given it to me.

"I'm s-sorry," I whispered. "You k-keep get dragged b-back here."

"Shh. I don't mind it, really. This is my job here, and at least I'm in good company."

"This is what you d-do?"

"Yup. I'm here to take care of long term patients at night. Sometimes I help out in the ER when they're short on staff, or needed for other little things, but this is my main role here."

I threw off my blanket, and wiped the sweat off of my forehead with my arm. My eyes were closed, so I didn't see when he raised his hand, and placed it delicately across my forehead. My eyes shot open at the surprise of his touch, but I relaxed quickly. It felt so nice.

"Thanks," I whispered with a sigh. He was giving me that curious look again. Should I have maybe pretended to be freaked out by his coldness? Damn.

"I'm really surprised that you've managed to stay awake," he said, breaking the awkward silence. I laughed out loud as the words that went through my mind.

"Nope. I'm a vampire; I only sleep during the day." I saw his eyes widen the tiniest bit in surprise just like I had expected. I made myself laugh. Ow. "I'm just kidding. Look," I smiled widely, pointing to my teeth. "No fangs!"

He relaxed, laughing too. Oh, if only he knew. But I was still determined not to tell them, my instinct just warned me away from it.

He got me to drink some more of my juice, and it felt like another hour before my body started to calm down. It wasn't as scary when I wasn't alone though. I was able to keep track of the time loosely because he seemed to take my blood pressure every ten minutes or so.

"Thank you again," I told him, finally feeling sleepy.

"No problem. I'm going to let you rest now, but I'll see you again another time."

"Will you? If Carlisle starts giving me stuff to make me sleep, I won't be awake to bug you at three in the morning anymore," I pointed out.

He smiled. "You're right, but I could come visit you outside of my work schedule sometime, if you don't mind."

I thought about it. I was building a collection of regular vampire visitors to my room. This was so weird. "No, I don't mind."

He nodded with a smile. "Goodnight."

"'Night." I barely got the word out before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**. . . . .**

I woke up in the late morning the next day. I had a migraine and was dizzy, but besides that I was fine. It was a beautiful and bright sunny day, and I think it was the first time I had really seen it this bright here. The days here seemed mostly overcast, just like home. I loved the sun, but my skin was so sensitive to it. I found that the less you had of it though, the more you appreciated those bright sunny days like this. I wanted to run outside and splay in the grass, and soak up as much of it as I could. Unfortunately, it was probably much colder than it looked.

And speaking of things that were colder than they looked, I seemed to be alone today. I sat up in my bed for almost two hours, and not a single person walked into my room. Someone had been by while I was asleep though, because there was a tray of food next to my bed. It was mostly good stuff too. My stomach felt hollow and empty, the closest thing to hunger I had felt in a while. So I munched on my apple, drank my apple juice, and picked at a chocolate chip and banana muffin.

The wheelchair that I had used last night was still beside my bed, and seeing that as permission I wheeled myself over to my bathroom. It still hurt sitting up and down, but at least my muscles felt strong enough to do it today. I felt a little accomplished after all of that, and sat in my bed scanning through pages at random in my dictionary, trying to find words I had never heard before, and trying to imagine scenarios in which I could use them.

It was better.

Jasper's help yesterday had changed things for me. My mind was clearer now, even with the headache. He had helped me start sleeping again, made me realize how much I needed it, enough to help me take a step towards the medication. Along with that, slowly getting back into the habit of eating again was starting to give me some energy.

And I was determined not to appear weak anymore. That had struck me so strongly; it was like a bucket of freezing water had been thrown on me to wake me up. Just because they were some magical, supernatural beings didn't mean they were superior to me. Just because they may be physically stronger, didn't necessarily mean they were stronger in every way.

And Jacob. If it had been me that had passed, I would want him to go on. If I could look down on him, and see him going through what I have… I would want to die all over again. He was my soul mate, I had to believe that he would want the same thing. So I was going to try to make the best of this, to make him happy and thank him. It would never be like it was, I don't think I could ever truly be happy again. The pain was still there, constantly throbbing, but I would try my best to just learn to live with it.

Sometime in the early afternoon a doctor I had never met before entered my room, introducing himself as Doctor Mitchell. He asked me what I had eaten, the last time I used the washroom, how I was feeling, and took my pulse and blood pressure. After asking me if I wanted anything for the pain, I told him that I didn't need it. I would wait until I needed to go to sleep. He wasn't mean about it, I've had plenty of worse ones before, but he was just so robotic and business like. His words were rehearsed and bored, and I just couldn't help thinking about the obvious difference between him and the two vampire doctors that I knew.

"Okay then, just ring for the nurse if you need anything. Dinner will be in three more hours." He turned to leave.

"Excuse me, Doctor Mitchell?"

"Hmm?"

"Where is Doctor Cullen today?"

"I'm sorry Ma'am, I can't disclose doctor's personal information to patients."

"Oh, sorry. Okay."

He left the room, closing the door behind him.

I worried. The first thing that came to mind was that I had spoken in my sleep. Jacob had told me before that I did it every once in a while, and that sometimes he would hear me say his name. I worried that Edward might have heard it, and put the pieces together that I had found out their secret. He could have told the others, and they could have all fled. I didn't remember having a single dream though.

The second thought came to me as I stared out at my rectangle of clear blue sky. A memory of a lazy, rainy day, sitting in his shed and helping him change the oil in Harry's car.

"_So, on full moons, do you guys _have_ to change? Like werewolves?"_

_He laughed loudly. The sound always warmed me, it was my favorite sound in the world. "No, I don't think werewolves exist. If they do, I don't know anybody that knows any." I laughed then too, and he leaned forward, kissing me firmly on the lips while smiling. I got distracted, and he managed to smear oil over one of my cheeks._

"_Hey!" I tried to smack him with my wrench, knowing better than to risk breaking my hand trying to hit him. He danced easily out of the way. "Well what about the vamps? Do they burst into flames when they go into the sun? Do they have to sleep underground?"_

_He shuddered, and I immediately went to take his hand. He smiled. "I'm okay. It's just really freaky. I met with them once after I became Alpha, just to let them know who I was and verify first hand that they would stay in accordance with all rules of the treaty. It was the middle of the day, and a bit of sun broke out through the clouds just before they left. Their bodies… I don't know. I told you how they're solid and cold like stone right?"_

"_Yeah, that's why your ancestors called them the "Cold Ones."_

_He smiled, happy but not surprised that I had kept up. But who could forget a story like that? "Well, crystal might be a better word than stone. They didn't burst into flames or anything, but the light refracted all weird and crazy off of their skin."_

"_Weird."_

"_You have no idea babe, it still gives me goose bumps."_

Maybe this was the first really sunny day since I've woken up. Don't get me wrong, we'd have sunny breaks all the time, they just didn't last very long. I hadn't really been paying attention to it before though, so I wasn't sure if they were ever around when it was this bright out. The sky was still a clear blue, the sun high in the sky, so I knew that either way I wouldn't find out until tonight. If I could stay awake long enough to see Edward that is.

I was surprised by how much I missed Alice. Had I ever gone a day without seeing her here? I don't think so. If she had left… no, I wouldn't let my mind go down that path just yet. Besides, I shouldn't be getting so attached to these vampires.

But, I realized that I didn't really see them as vampires. When I pictured one, I saw the evil, cold, red-eyed monster that had killed my loved ones. The Cullens were nothing like him.

They seemed to like me for some reason too. I had no family, and I know that I could never bear to go back to my pack, no matter how much I missed them. These vampires were really all that I had right now.

I had thought so much about him today. I had put aside my dictionary, and pulled my tin out from under my pillow. I stared at it for a long while, battling with myself. Knowing that I still had at least a few hours of sun before I would start worrying, I was able to finally open the box.

I put as much force as I could into keeping my breaths as slow and even as possible as I picked up the small wooden wolf. So life-like, so much like him.

"_Now, no matter where you are, you'll always have a little piece of me with you."_

It was just too much, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to put it down. I stared at that wolf until the sky started to turn pink, then numbly wrapped it back up in the small handkerchief an put it back in. I took one fleeting glance at the picture that was on top of the stack, wrapped with a piece of ribbon.

Jake was wearing his white dress shirt, with black slacks and a tie. He was holding me almost three feet off of the ground, his big hands around my waist, my feet dangling in the air as he kissed me.

I couldn't take another second. I carefully closed the box, and it took me a while to be able to tie it back up. I held it against my chest, still able to feel his lips on mine, until a nurse came in with dinner. I made myself eat, even though the food was horrible. Not as bad as yesterday though. I had two chicken nuggets and ate all of my cherry Jell-O.

Another nurse came by, giving me the same medication as yesterday. I took it nervously, but hopefully today wouldn't be as bad. I sat alone in my bed, watching the sun set while my body trembled under my thick quilt. My eyes slowly started to get heavy, and soon I was having trouble keeping them open. The sun disappeared, and my room went dark.

My door shot open and Alice, Carlisle, and Edward were standing in my door way, looking at me intently. I smiled sleepily. "You didn't leave," I sighed in relief. Then sleep took me, and they faded away.

**. . . . .**

I woke up again with a migraine, but the light coming in through the window was very pale, and easy on my eyes. I was dizzy and groggy, and it took me a couple of minutes to fully open my eyes and get my mind to start working.

I remembered yesterday, and realized that I was still hugging onto my tin. I looked around, and found Alice in her usual spot beside my bed. She was looking at me worriedly, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling, just so happy and relieved to see her.

"Morning Alice."

"I'm so sorry that I didn't come to see you yesterday," she said quickly. I tried to sit up quickly to reassure her, and sucked in a sharp breath from the pain. "Hey hey hey, careful. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just moved a little too quickly." I took a couple of hard breaths, but the pain passed quickly.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Alice; you have a life of your own. I know that you can't come to see me every day."

"But I would if I could." Her voice was deep with sincerity.

"I know." I smiled at her again, and saw her face slowly start to reflect it. "But you don't need to feel obligated. You don't need to worry about me." I reached out and took her hand. Even though it was cold, it was so smooth and soft. I missed physical contact with another person, and it just felt nice to touch someone. She didn't seem to mind it at all. "It's really nice to see you though."

"You too Isabella." She hopped up onto her feet. "How about a shower to help get the day started?"

"That sounds amazing."

After I was all clean, and dressed in some new clothes, Alice sat with me while I ate some breakfast. I ate a whole banana and a strawberry yogurt, leaving myself feeling very accomplished.

Carlisle came in to check on me, and I was happy to see him too. He asked how I was feeling and how the medication was working. I told him that I had slept through the night, and besides the tremors and the migraines when waking up that I felt pretty good.

"I'm sorry again that I wasn't here yesterday. Did Doctor Mitchell let you know that I was ill?"

I gave him a small smile. "They're not supposed to disclose personal information about doctor's to patients."

I had said it lightly, in a joking tone, but I saw anger flash across his face. I had never seen it before on him, and it didn't suit him. "Carlisle, it's okay, really-"

"Isabella, I am your personal attending physician. If there's ever a problem like that again, you tell them that, or you call me on this number." He took out a notepad and pen from his front pocket, and quickly jotted a number down in beautiful writing. "That's my personal cell phone. I always answer, no matter what time."

My voice was a little thick. "Thank you, Carlisle."

He gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder, then left me alone with Alice. She braided my hair back for me, much better than I would have ever been able to do even with both of my hands. I felt… good. We smiled and talked, and I didn't let myself feel too guilty about enjoying it.

Dinner came, and I made sure not to let my disappointment show. Before the nurse even sat down the tray, Edward walked into my room. It was the first time I had ever seen him not wearing his white lab coat, instead wearing a pair of artfully faded dark blue jeans, and a khaki sweater over a white dress shirt.

I had just noticed his clothes in the background though, most of my attention was concentrated on the plate wrapped in tinfoil that he was carrying in one hand.

"Hey," he said easily, smiling.

"Hey Edward," I said, offering him a friendly smile back. It was bothering me that the motion still felt so wrong on my face, but I kept trying for them anyways.

"I tried to come say hi before my shift yesterday, but you were already asleep before I got here," he said apologetically. He removed the tray from my table, replacing it with the one he was holding and taking off the tinfoil. I had to stop myself from drooling. Fried chicken with a beautiful salad that had strawberries and pecans mixed into it. It smelt delicious. "Esme sends her love," he said as an explanation.

"Please tell her that I am eternally grateful," I said reverently, and dug in. It tasted even better than it smelt.

Unfortunately, I ate a little too much, and Alice handed me the bucket seconds before I threw it up. It was incredibly painful, jerking at my ribs and stomach with each heave. I was shaking and sweating from the stress of it, not being able to completely contain a couple of tears from escaping my eyes. Carlisle had come in, and it was completely humiliating doing that in front of the three of them.

Once I was pretty sure that it had passed, or I had nothing left to throw up, Alice laid me back gently while I gasped for breath.

"Are you okay Isabella? Do your ribs hurt?" Carlisle asked.

I gave a short, painful laugh, clutching at my stomach. It was all the confirmation he needed. "Do you mind if I check your stitches?"

He had seen the ugly scar across my stomach plenty of times, he was the one who had saved me from dying from it and Alice had helped me bathe multiple times, but that didn't change the fact that I was very self-conscious about it. Nothing small like the old scar I had on my ribs, this was an angry, puckered wound that stretched across my abdomen. I was surprised when Carlisle said that I might still be able to have children. Not that it mattered, I wouldn't want to have anyone's child except for Jacob's, and the thought of losing another child was… unthinkable.

But Edward had never seen it, and I didn't want him to. I didn't care if he was a doctor, I didn't want anyone besides these two people to ever see it. I shot an uncomfortable glance at him, immediately feeling guilty.

"Oh, uhm, sorry. I'll be right back." He left the room, and the others didn't think anything of it.

There were no pulled stitches, and to my relief he told me that they were healing very well. As long as I didn't fall down again I shouldn't have to worry about any tearing. "Do you still feel nauseous?" He asked me.

"No, I think I just ate too much too quickly." He eyed my barely half-eaten plate of food, and I panicked. "Please don't tell Esme! It wasn't the food, it was really good. She's a million times better than any of the cooks here, and I don't want to hurt her feelings."

He gave me his usual gentle smile. "Don't worry, I won't tell her. Do you think you'll be able to try eating again in a little while? I really don't want to give you your medication on an empty stomach."

I reached for my fork happily, but he stopped me while chuckling. "Just wait a little while longer. I don't want you to get sick again."

Edward came back, and I shot him an apologetic glance. He seemed completely at ease though, so I relaxed and let it go. I ate a little while later, making sure to do so much more slowly. We waited another half hour afterwards, and Carlisle deemed it safe to give me my pills. They were getting a little easier to swallow each time.

Alice got ready to leave, and sadly told me that she wouldn't be able to come by tomorrow either. Their family would be going 'out of town' together, and I predicted that that was code for "Staying away from the sun light." I would find out tomorrow, I guess. I assured her that I would be fine, and she gave me a gentle hug before leaving. She was getting a lift home with Carlisle, who wished me a good night at the same time before the two of them left together.

So, Edward and I were left sitting alone. For some reason, it felt much different while he wasn't wearing his uniform. "Do you mind if I hang around for a little while longer? I don't start for another hour."

"I don't mind," I said politely. I think I could stay awake for another hour. "So, do you live with your sister's family?"

"No, I have my own place in town. I'm over there a lot though. I like to stay close by, they're all the family I've got."

I nodded. "No, I get it. Family is something you should cherish. Never let them go." He gave me a sad look, and I tried not to get irritated. I should have just kept my mouth shut. "How has Esme been? I haven't seen her for a while."

"She's well, she wants to come see you again soon. She's been keeping busy replacing the floors in her house for the past week. When she gets into a renovation project, it's frightening to get in her way." He smiled, thinking about something. "So, do you play any sports?" He asked, completely out of nowhere.

I chuckled. "Not if I can avoid it. I tend not to be the most… dexterous person when it comes to athletics. I like camping though, and hiking and fishing. I love swimming." I hadn't done any of them until the past year, but I loved them because they were Jacob. I wanted to be in the forest, or on the beach by the ocean. That was just who I was now.

"Favourite camping area?"

"Mount Rainer," I answered automatically.

He gave me a worried look. "There are a lot of bears in that area."

I smiled and shrugged. I never had to worry about bears while I was protected by a horse-sized wolf.

He seemed to find my choice in outdoor hobbies interesting, and drilled me with detailed questions until I could barely keep my eyes open. I didn't really mind, it was nice keeping my mind busy. Being able to think about happy memories of Jacob without getting pulled too deeply into them to hurt too much. I just barely managed to stay awake until he had to start working, and wished me goodnight. I was out as soon as he shut my door.

**. . . . .**

I woke up with the faintest headache, pleased that they seemed to be getting better. A nurse brought me in a tray of food, and I finished a yogurt and my muffin fairly easily. Afterwards, I carefully maneuvered myself into my wheel chair, and pulled myself slowly to the washroom. It was still painful getting myself on and off of the seat of the toilet, but I liked to imagine that it was getting better. I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and washed my face and had to sit back down to brush my hair because my leg had started to tremble. When I was finished, I just sat there for a moment, watching my reflection.

The black circles that had been under my eyes were gone now, and I had started to get back a bit of colour. My face was still thinner than I remembered it being, but I looked better. I couldn't see the aching pain that I constantly felt in my heart on my face.

I looked more like myself.

I had no desire to get back into that bed, so I rolled over to my window and parked myself there, resting my leg cast on the window sill.

I thought a lot about my friends that morning. It had been months since I had talked to any of them, and I missed them all terribly. I wondered what their lives were like now. Was Angela enjoying University? How was Sam handling his position as Alpha again? And Leah… the last words I remember ever hearing from Leah was when she told me that Jacob had died, saving her.

I hadn't said a word to her since then. But I hadn't really spoken to anyone except for Emily and Sam, and saying good bye to Billy. Did she think that I blamed her? I didn't of course, that was just who Jacob was. He was a protector; he would have done that for any of his loved ones. I had no way to ask her though. I loved them all too much to go back there; I just couldn't risk them getting hurt because of my curse.

I knew the Cullens knew the pack. I trusted my gut too much to not listen to the voice that told me that it wasn't safe to contact them.

But I could write to Angela.

I had paper and envelopes in my suitcase, but I couldn't reach them. Begrudgingly, I rang for a nurse and asked for help. Then I sat back in my sunny spot by the window.

_Dear Angela,  
I'm sorry that we haven't spoken in so long. After Charlie and… His death, I had to hide so that I wouldn't be brought back to the boarding home. I was pregnant. Once I turned eighteen, I had to leave. Forks was just too much for me.  
I was in a car accident a few months ago, someone swerved in front of my truck and ran me off of the road. My injuries were bad, and I lost my baby. I'm in a hospital now, still recovering, but I'm going to be okay.  
I want you to know that you are one of the best friends I have ever had, and I don't say that lightly. I can't come back though, there are just too many painful memories, and I need to find some way to live through this.  
So this is goodbye. I'm so sorry, you deserve much more than this small letter. I will always remember you, and I know that your life is going to take you to great places. Remember that you deserve every bit and more of the opportunities and happiness that I'm sure will come your way. Thank you for being my friend.  
Take care, and be happy.  
Love,  
Isabella_

I stared at the letter for a long time. There was so much more that I wanted to say, but there were no words.

I had one more idea though, and I _needed_ to take the risk. I flipped over the paper.

_Please tell Emily. I can't contact her myself or say why. Please ask her to tell my sister that it wasn't her fault. Let them know that I love them all, and always will. Please tell them that I'm sorry._

I folded up the piece of paper, and slid it into an envelope which I wrote Angela's address on. No return address.

I needed to do this quickly, I couldn't think about it. The longer I held onto this envelope, the more painful it got. I slipped on a flip flop, grabbed my purse, and slowly pulled myself out of my room with my good leg.

It was embarrassing, but if I tried to roll the wheel with my one arm I just went around in circles. I got a few strange looks, but I preferred it to asking some strange nurse to push me around. Most people just ignored me.

It was slow and exhausting but I made it to the small shop that I had passed by with Edward the other night. To my relief, there was a tiny post office in the corner. I was able to mail my letter, and even exchange some cash for Canadian money. I wouldn't have to use all quarters in the vending machines anymore. The money was pretty, much more colourful than American bills. I took my time in the store, trying to distract myself, and ended up buying a few things; a new watch despite my better judgement, a new lock for my suitcase, a book of crossword puzzles and a deck of cards.

The man working at the cash was very sweet. Noticing my one hand, he offered to set my watch for me. I thanked him with a smile, and then rolled myself away.

I passed by the front doors, and realized that the sky had clouded over. It was a little after six, and I realized a doctor would be going to my room soon to give me my medication. Hmm, I wonder if I should have asked permission from somebody before I left. I hope they didn't think I ran away.

I laughed. I wasn't running anywhere. Before I left, I had the nurse lock my tin into my grey suitcase with my other important things, so I wasn't worried about anyone stealing my stuff. I couldn't have hurried if I tried anyways, the snail's pace I was going at now was already exhausting me.

I stopped at a vending machine by the elevator before going back up to my floor, having a very big craving for some fruit punch. I slipped in some change easily enough, pushed the buttons, and listened to the loud 'clunk' it made when it fell to the bottom. I reached down to get it and… Damn. Just a bit too far. I spun my chair to the side, and tried to lean towards it, and I barely brushed it with my fingers. Sighing, I tried to pull away and reposition my chair. I was not going to let this stupid machine beat me. You'd think that they'd make these things easier to reach for people in wheelchairs; we were in a damn hospital after all.

Someone stepped in between me and the machine though, blocking my path back. "You'd think they'd make these things easier to reach for people in wheelchairs, we're in a hospital after all," Edward said, repeating my thoughts as he handed me my juice.

"Thanks." _We'll settle this another time, vending machine_, I swore darkly in my mind.

"Going up?" He asked easily, and I nodded. He held the elevator door for me while I pulled myself inside, and I didn't hold the small smile he had on his face against him. "I'm going your way if you'd like a lift," he offered, and I took him up on it gratefully.

"What time do you usually start working at?" I asked curiously.

"Eight," he said, rolling me into my room. "I have some free time if you'd like to… hang out for a little while?"

"Sure."

"Okay, I'm just going to drop my bag off in my office, I'll be back soon."

I went and used the washroom again while he was gone, and he was back before I came out. I tossed my purse onto my bedside table next to the tray of cold food. Shakily, I got up and managed to get onto my bed all by myself. It had been a productive day, and I felt accomplished. I smiled at Edward for no real reason at all, and he gave me a strange, almost blank look. Was he sick again?

"Are you okay?"

He seemed to shake off a thought before smiling back at me. "Yes, I'm great. How was your day?"

"It was good." It was only a half lie. "I escaped and did a bit of shopping," I told him happily. "How was yours?"

"Boring. I slept mostly." I nodded, and started pulling my new deck of cards out of my purse, picking at my carrot sticks while I took them out and admired their pictures. They had different types of trees on them.

"Wanna play?" I asked him, noticing that he had been watching me closely.

"Sure, shall I shuffle?"

"Thanks." I handed him the deck, and took a bite of the dried out turkey.

"Crazy eights?"

"Sounds good." He shuffled and dealt, and waited patiently while I tried to sort my cards, laying them face down on the table since I couldn't hold them while I did so. It was a relaxing game, helping the time pass by easily. At least I thought it was relaxing, Edward seemed like a bit of a sore loser. He didn't make a big deal about it, but he seemed a little frustrated.

He grabbed my medication from the nurse that came in, checking it quickly before he handed it over to me. We played one more game, and I let him win by just a little to put him in a better mood before he headed off to work. I fell asleep doing a crossword puzzle.

**. . . . .**

The next day Carlisle took me in for x-rays and a CT scan to check my breaks and see how the organs in my abdomen were healing. He told me that the results were good, the bones had set properly, but it would still be another month before I could get the casts off, and then there would be physiotherapy.

I didn't know how I would survive another two months in here. But since I had no one to take care of me at home, or even had a home for that matter, I needed to stay here. Carlisle assured me that my insurance would cover everything without issue. I wasn't worried though, I had money. The sale of my father's estate was a pretty big settlement, same with his life insurance. Then I had the money that I wanted nothing to do with; Charlie's savings, his life insurance settlement, and the money from the sale of his house had probably already been deposited. I had no idea what I wanted to do with all of that money, or what I wanted to do with my life.

Alice seemed to want me to stay though. Maybe I'll look for a small house, get a job just for something to do… Find things to keep myself busy. As long as I kept myself busy, I wouldn't have to think too hard. And as long as I didn't think too hard, I think I would manage to survive.

The back inside cover of my crossword book was blank, so I used it to make lists. Everything that popped into my mind that I might be able to use as entertainment once I got out of here. Things like; _find a place to live. Find a job. Replace the fuel injectors in my truck. _Find_ new fuel injectors for my truck._ Jacob would be so proud of me if I was able to make that truck go faster. _Learn more about my truck._ _Learn more about engines. Take a fish off of a hook. Paint a wall. Learn how to fix a toilet. Make pasta from scratch. Take a First Aid course. Study astronomy. Go bungee-jumping._

Over the next few weeks, whenever I thought of something, I wrote it down on that piece of paper. I didn't know how many of them that I would actually be able to accomplish, but my goal was to be able to keep busy for the rest of my life.

I was visited by at least one of my local vampires every day. Mostly Alice and Carlisle, but Edward seemed to visit me every night for at least a little while before he went to work. Esme and Jasper came to visit me every few days as well. After a couple of weeks, I didn't need the pain medication to sleep anymore. I feared I would spill my secrets in my sleep though, and ended up buying a mouth guard. Not only did it prevent me from clenching my teeth in my sleep, but it would muffle and distort anything that I might attempt to say while wearing them. I thought it was a pretty impressive idea.

I ate a little more and more each day, until I was back to my usual appetite. I gained back a bit of weight, and my clothes almost fit me properly again.

I never got over the pain of my losses, but I was starting to almost get used to it. It was the best I could have hoped for.

**. . . . .**

"Merry Christmas Eve Isabella," Carlisle said, walking into my room in the early morning. I had been sitting in my bed, watching the thick snowflakes fall and trying not to think about the holidays.

"You too," I said with a smile. I noticed that he had a large smile on his face, and was watching me expectantly. "What?" I asked nervously.

"Today's the day," he said happily. My joy was instant, my face spreading into an enormous grin. Alice walked in, pushing a stainless steel cart into the room. I had seen those tools before, and a saw had never looked so inviting. I had never seen one used to cut through anything but plaster in person before, and made a note to add it to my list; _rent a saw and use it to cut something. _

"Right now?" I asked excitedly.

"Consider this an early Christmas present. I'm here just for you today." He lent me a hand to help me stand up, and I gave him a tight, one-armed hug. "Thank you Carlisle. I'll give you a hug with two arms once you're done."

"You will do no such thing. You're going to have to wear braces, and you'll be under very strict rules. You're bones are still very fragile, and your muscles are going to be very weak from not using them for almost three months." God, has it been that long already? His tone was stern, yet very gentle. I didn't care. I would be able to shower without having Alice tape bags to me. I had been able to do the rest by myself for a while now, once I got a bit more strength and flexibility. Carlisle said I might always have a pain there in my stomach, there had been so much damage to the muscles, but all of my organs were mostly fine. Like he had said before, even with the damage there was still a possibility that I could have children. I knew that just wasn't in my future though. I didn't mind the pain really, it was the only reminder I had about the possibility I had lost.

"Will I be able to bend my leg?"

He thought about it for a moment. "We'll see, one thing at a time." _At least that wasn't a no._ Alice had put a plastic sheet on my bed so that we wouldn't get plaster dust all over it, after quickly folding my quilt and putting it away first. I sat back down, and watched excitedly as he cut through the plaster down the length of my arm. I wrinkled my nose, it did not smell very good, but Carlisle and Alice were too polite to say anything about it. After he cracked open the cast, he gently laid my arm down by my side on the bed. The bed was bent up fairly straight, and it felt really weird as my arm hung limply by my side. I hated that feeling.

Next he did my leg. Luckily I was wearing shorts, so I just had to hike up the short pant leg above the plaster that was so close to my hip. He cut two lines through the cast on the length of my leg. It was pretty gross, and I couldn't wait to get in the shower. First he did a few tests though, and by a few, I mean a very large amount. He poked me with a cold pen all over each of them, testing how much feeling I had. He had me wiggle my toes and my fingers, move my wrist and ankle. He had me squeeze both of his stone hands with each of mine, then try pushing both legs against each hand in both directions. He helped me slowly and slightly bend both my elbow and my knee. It went on and on for what felt like hours, and was completely exhausting. I was determined to work as hard as I possibly could though so I could get out of this damn room. I would take whatever he had to throw at me. _Pain was only weakness leaving the body_, I told myself over and over.

"Everything seems very good Isabella. I'm going to have you on a set of very light exercises that we'll be able to do right here in your room for the next couple of weeks, which will be very similar to what we just did here. Then we'll move up from there. The braces are just to prevent any unnecessary jostling, so you should only have to wear them while you're moving about, and while you're sleeping." He gave me another pleased smile.

"So can I… take a shower?"

"You sure can. Just be very careful not to bump anything or move too quickly. And try not to stand for longer than a minute or so. Don't put any weight on your left leg, and don't try to hold anything with your left arm."

I nodded happily, and he helped me get into my wheelchair before Alice wheeled me over to the bathroom and helped me grab all of my things. I took my time lining them up onto the wide edge of the tub, then expertly shifted myself over onto the bench in the shower.

It was amazing, being completely clean. I even got to shave my gross leg. I noticed that it looked slightly thinner than my right, and it really bothered me. But I could wear pants now, and just put my brace on over top of it. Pants were always the worst part. Bending over to get my feet into the legs always pulled painfully at the scar across my stomach.

But I got on a pair of nice jeans, and a long sleeved black cotton shirt. I brushed my teeth, and combed my wet hair, twisting it into a rope with my right hand, and clipped a hair clamp into it.

I looked down at my ring on the counter, sitting on the little dish I always put it in when I showered. Smiling sadly, I slipped it onto my left-hand finger, happy that it was finally back in its proper place before I rolled myself out of the bathroom.

Carlisle was waiting with the braces, and I noticed that Alice had made my bed for me. After carefully helping me back onto it, he attached the braces, explaining to me in detail how it was supposed to be done. He asked me to try to keep them on for the rest of the day.

"Feel like going for a stroll around the building?" Alice asked me happily, and I nodded.

"Well, I'm going to head home. I'll see you tomorrow Isabella. You girls have a nice afternoon."

"Why are you working tomorrow?" I asked him. It was Christmas.

"Well, I just thought-" I saw Alice shake her head slightly. It wasn't the first time I had seen her do this with him around me. It's like she knew what my reaction would be before he even said anything to me. It reminded me of my question over a month ago; did all vampires have some sort of extra superpower? I know that they all couldn't affect moods like Jasper could, because he was the only one who had ever tried.

I had spent a lot of free time thinking about it, and watching the vampires closely. If they did, I knew what Esme's power was; love. Just simply being in her presence made you feel loved, and she seemed to have an endless supply of the emotion to give out. Carlisle's I think was his compassion. He cared so passionately about helping and healing others. I had rolled down hallways with him many times, and it was obvious in his interaction with others.

Alice was tricky though, but I think I was catching on. She always seemed to know which days I would be the most upset, and what would work to cheer me up. All the times I had gotten sick, she was there waiting with a bucket seconds before I let it show on my face. Whenever I lost my balance, she was always able to catch me. She somehow knew what I wanted to eat the most on what days whenever I had a craving. And a few times she had passed me my purse before I had even asked. It was like she was… clairvoyant almost. I was trying to figure out how to test my theory without being obvious about it.

"They still need people to come in and work, hospitals don't close for holidays. I'll be in for a few hours in the afternoon."

"And I'll come visit with him," she said happily.

If she was clairvoyant, she should have seen my reply before she even said that. "Alice, you should spend the holiday with your family."

"But I-"

"No. Thank you Alice, you know that I love having you here, but not tomorrow. You need to be with your family." I felt so bad for putting that hurt look on her face. I decided that I needed to be completely honest with her for her to understand. "It's not that I don't want you here, because I do. But if my family were still alive, I would be spending it with them. It might just be some meaningless holiday that happens every year, but it's one of those moments that you should cherish." No matter how long you may live. "I can't be with my family, but you can be with yours. Don't take that for granted. Please."

They both stared at me wide-eyed for a long moment, and I knew why. This was the first time I had really spoken about my family being dead. They knew of course, but they never tried to make me talk about it. I kept my face calm and my voice even and gentle though, and prayed that they couldn't see just how much it hurt to say out loud. My family was dead, and I would never see my pack again. I was completely alone in this world now, except for these strangely kind vampires and my memories.

"Okay. I'll stay with my family," she told me gently. She looked worried, and I forced myself to smile up at her.

Carlisle said goodbye again, and left the two of us alone.

Alice held to her offer and took me for a ride around the building. She stopped at the cafeteria that I hadn't yet mentioned wanting to go to, even though I had decided that I was going to ask her after we were done touring. Maybe I had to actually make a decision before she could see it, if she would know at all.

"Want to grab something to eat?"

"Sure," I said with a small smile. She wheeled me into line, and I stared at my four choices. I decided quickly that I wanted the Caesar salad with chicken, but I pretended that I was having trouble deciding. I waited.

"How about some salad?"

I hid my smile. "That sounds perfect." I paid for my meal, and we went over to the sitting area.

"Where do you want to sit?"

By that big window that looks onto the garden. "I'm not sure."

"Hmm. How about by that big window over there?"

"Okay." I think I just found a new source of entertainment.

Alice sat with me while I ate. Was it weird that I never pointed out how weird it was that she never ate around me? The hospital had a very strict no-pet policy though. I made myself laugh, and quickly tried to cover it.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head before taking another bite of my salad.

She had to head home after bringing me back up to my room, giving me a hug before leaving. Even though I wouldn't see her tomorrow, I wanted to give her something for Christmas. I didn't really care if it couldn't be a surprise. I had been watching the gift shop for quite a while, but nothing really spoke to me strongly enough.

If it wasn't for Alice, I would have given up a long time ago. She saved me, and not just by being the one who got me to the hospital quickly enough so that I didn't bleed out. She's sat with me in this tiny room almost every day for the last three months, keeping me company, cheering me up whenever I needed it, helping me with all of the things I couldn't do. But it was more than that. She gave me friendship, and made me feel like I wasn't completely alone in this world. I wanted to give her something to show her how much that really meant to me, and an ordinary knickknack from the gift shop just wouldn't do.

I got out of my bed, and rolled over to my suitcase, opening up the new lock with the keys I always kept on me. I flipped back the lid, and rifled through my things. I picked up my copy of "A Mid-Summer Night's Dream", carrying it in my lap with a pen as I rolled over to my table. I flipped open the cover.

_To Alice,  
This is the first book I've even owned. My mother bought it for me when I was seven, because I loved the art on the cover, and it's always been one of my most prized possessions. I've lost track of how many times I've read it. Whenever I was too upset or hurt to be in my own mind, I would flip through the familiar pages and be able to escape for just a short while. It's helped me through more bad times than I'd care to admit. Just like you have, which is why I want you to have it.  
You've done more than saved my life Alice, you've made it easier to live in the life that I have. I'll never be able to thank you enough for that, and there aren't words to describe just how thankful I am.  
Merry Christmas  
Love,  
Isabella  
P.S. You look like the pixie with the black hair on the cover._

I wrapped it up in a newspaper that I had on my table, and tied it up with a loose ribbon that I had in my things, I think it may have come out of a shirt or something. I put away my stuff, and picked up my notebook.

I had gotten it a few weeks ago, as I had quickly run out of room in my crosswords book. Now it had pages and pages of different things that I wanted to try and do during the rest of my life. I opened up to the first free page, and wrote down my note about renting a saw.

**. . . . .**

I woke up very early in the morning, my watch telling me that it was just a little after two.

Christmas.

One year ago today I had sat in Charlie's house with him, and he had given me this necklace. The one I wore as a bracelet around my wrist. He had told me that he wanted to adopt me. I had sat and had dinner in the living room with him, Billy and Jacob.

I hoped Rebecca was taking good care of Billy. I hoped they were okay. Were they smiling now? Going on with their lives and being happy? I hope they were. They had each other.

I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got out of bed and went into my bathroom. I was very careful taking off my braces, and took a very long time under the hot water. I toweled off, and pulled out a nice pair of grey jeans and my black fight club t-shirt that was a bigger on me than I remembered. I brushed my teeth, then combed my hair. I decided to just let it do its thing and dry curly. It was hard doing the braces back up, but I got it eventually.

I rolled back into my room, and slipped on my watch. Only four, today was going to be a long day. I rolled over to my window, resting my legs on the sill as usual, and admired the beautiful landscape outside.

It was snowing again, large fluffy pieces of it slowly falling to the ground. Everything was covered in a fresh sheet of it, looking completely untouched. Everything was so still, so quiet, and it looked magical. Something out of a fairy tale or painting. I opened up my notebook.

_Build a snowman. Learn how to ski. Make a snow angel._

My stomach growled. It would be a few hours to breakfast, so I decided to make a trip to the vending machine. I put on a shoe and then pulled myself out of the room.

The hallway was eerily quiet again, but that was normal for this time. The nurse sitting at the nurse's station gave me a small wave, which I returned before continuing down the hallway.

"Isabella?"

I stopped, and backed up a bit. "Hey Edward." I hadn't even noticed that I had passed by his office. He had a thick textbook open in front of him, and he placed a post-it to the page before closing it and coming over.

"What has you prowling the halls this early?"

"Just bored, thought I'd hunt down a snack. What are you up to?"

"Boring stuff. I got this present from Carlisle about medieval healing practices, I was just giving it a quick read through."

"That sounds really interesting actually. Does it have much information about Herbalism?"

He raised an eyebrow slightly, nodding with a small smile. "Is that something that interests you?"

"Oh yes, very much. I've always preferred trying to use natural remedies opposed to manufactured drugs. My Mom was really into it, she ran a small business from home when I was a kid making special teas." He gave me a strange look. I got a lot of those from him. It was a little off-putting, like he thought everything that I said was weird. "Don't get me wrong, today's medicines definitely have their uses, but the human species has been around much longer than all if this technology has. But it's kind of nice, being able to help a sickness without the carbon footprint that is needed to make all of those drugs."

If he had a superpower, I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was making people uncomfortable with his gaze, because he did that often enough with me.

"Well, sorry to interrupt, I'll just get going now." I shouldn't have just started rambling like that, it wasn't like he cared about that stuff, he probably knew much more than I did about it too. I turned around and he caught my wheelchair.

"Wait, sorry, I guess I got kind of lost in thought. I agree with you, there is much that can be accomplished with just simple herbs with the human body, and it's a bit of a shame that society had become so dependent on the chemicals that we use today. You try and tell someone these days that their stomach aches could be cured by sipping some warm water with steeped mint leaves and they call you a witch." I laughed. "I wanted to take a break for a bit, want a lift to the vending machine?"

"Sure," I said happily. I didn't mind being pushed around too much if it was by someone I knew. Besides, he always seemed to smile when I let him. Weird vampires.

Absolutely nothing looked appetizing, so I just got a bottle of juice, and Edward took me back to my room. He got called then, and with a little wave, he left. I climbed into bed, and took out my deck of cards.

I was concentrating more on my necklace/ bracelet than the game of solitaire I had set up. One whole year. It didn't seem long enough to contain everything that had happened since then. I really wanted to wear it around my neck again. It didn't feel the same around my wrist. The memory of Charlie putting it on for me was strong in my mind. Maybe if I could get it on I would feel closer to him again…

I shook it off of my wrist onto my lap, and undid the clasp. I tried holding on to one end with my cheek against my shoulder while bringing the other end around with my hand. I could feel the clasp and thought that I was close, and got excited. _Almost there…_ and then the end I was holding slipped out of my fingers, and the little diamond pendant slid off, bounced against my leg, and tumbled towards the floor.

"No!" I shouted, a little too loudly and to no one in particular. I reached to grab it quickly, missing it by only inches, but I was reaching far enough to lose my balance, rolling off of the edge of my bed.

I couldn't help a small cry when I collided painfully with the floor, but I ignored the pain and reached my hand towards the little pendant that was once again just out of my reach. I just snapped then, my tears of pain and anger and sadness becoming too much to contain in my frustration. The fact that I was breaking my one rule just made them come that much faster.

It couldn't have been much more than a minute before Edward ran back into my room. I didn't look up at him, but I heard the door open and I felt him there. He was kneeling by my side in a second, trying to help me up. I smacked him away, and painfully rolled myself over.

"Just go away," I begged between my tears. I couldn't sit up, but I didn't care. I just wanted to lay on my floor alone and cry.

"I can't do that Isabella," he said quietly. He reached for me again, and I shot him the angriest look I had. His face was pained, and he only debated for a short moment before picking me up. He leaned over my bed to put me down, and I don't really understand what happened to me. I wrapped my arms around the vampire, gripping onto him as tightly as I could, and didn't let go. My body just needed the closeness of another person. I wanted Jacob to hold me in his strong, warm arms and tell me that everything would be okay. But he wasn't here, and when Edward's cold arms wrapped around me gently and held me, I took it happily. He sat down on the edge of my bed, and let me cry in his arms. There was nothing else in the world besides him and my pain. He held me until my eyes ran dry, and still didn't let go. I was very much aware that he had no heartbeat, with my face against his chest, but that didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

When my mind finally started to clear, I pulled away from him immediately, completely horrified with what I had done. He didn't stop me, getting off of my bed and immediately picking up my pendant off of the floor. He sat back down beside me, picking up the chain, and sliding it back on.

Ever so gently, he brushed my hair away from my neck, and clasped the necklace for me. I rested my hand against it, revelling in the familiar feeling of it there. "Is that what you were trying to do? When you fell?"

I nodded.

"Who gave you the necklace?"

"C-Charlie." I tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't work. "My Dad. He gave it to me last Christmas, just before he told me that he wanted to adopt me." I needed to talk now; I needed to tell someone so badly. "I never thought I'd find a family, I never even dared to dream of it. Then he came along, and he was so sweet. He loved me like I was his real daughter. I loved him more than my actual father, he was the first real Dad I ever had, and I didn't even get a year with him. He's dead. He died trying to protect me, and now I'm alone, and I'm never going to see him again." A choking sob wracked my body. "Everyone that I love dies. My Mom, my father, my Dad, my fiancé, and my baby. They're all dead, and there's nothing I can do to bring any of them back."

He was the one to wrap his arms around me this time, and I didn't pull away. I wanted to be close to someone so desperately, and if he didn't mind it then I wasn't going to stop him. I relaxed in his stone arms and leaned against him.

He didn't lie to me and tell me that it was okay, or tell me that he was sorry for me to my relief. "You're not alone Isabella. Not anymore. I'm here with you, right now."

I shook my head. "You're a doctor, it's different. This is probably in your job description."

"I may be a doctor, but I'm not _your_ doctor. That's Carlisle. I'm just a man who happens to be a Doctor, and also thinks that you're an amazing woman. We care about you, Alice and I, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper. We're your friends, and we _won't_ leave you."

I thought about his words for a few moments, and he was uncharacteristically patient.

"Thank you," I whispered back to him. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I cared about them, and I had no way to leave.

We sat in silence, and I watched the snowflakes while he held me, and tried to ignore the worry for their safety that was growing in my stomach.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Town

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirteen :: Town**

**Isabella**

I looked at my watch, and it was nine in the morning. Edward was sitting next to me on my bed, but he didn't fit as well as Alice did. He was half hanging off of the side of it, but looked completely comfortable.

"You don't have to stay here you know."

"I know," he said easily.

"You should go spend some time with your family."

He checked his own watch. "I will, soon."

I looked up at him, and he gave me an easy smile. He wasn't holding me anymore, once I had calmed down it had become quite uncomfortable to me, being so close to a man that was not my Jacob. Now he was just sitting next to me. I had let him turn on the TV, and he was watching the weather network. It was probably the one thing that I wouldn't have minded watching, but I preferred looking out the window. The trees were bare, but there was snow building up on them. It didn't seem like there was enough wind to blow the snow off of the branches right now. I reached over for my notebook beside my bed, and opened it up to the last page I had written on. I was almost halfway through the book. _Climb a tree_, I wrote down, then closed it again.

"Writing a story?"

"More like guidelines."

"For what?"

I shook my head. "You'd probably make fun of me if I told you."

"I doubt that very much. Can I look?"

I thought about it for a moment, and didn't seem any harm it in. I handed the notebook over, and watched his face while he flipped through the crammed pages. He looked confused. "What are all of these things?"

"A way to keep busy, to keep living I guess. Anything and everything that I can think of, I write it down in that book."

"So you plan on doing each and every one of these things?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know if I'll get through all of them, but that's kind of the point. If I have something to concentrate on, some sort of goal to work towards… It's the only thing I can think of doing to keep myself going."

"_Learn some sort of martial art?"_

"Yeah, I know nothing about any of them, but karate or jujitsu or something like that."

"_Bungee jumping?"_

"I bet it would be fun. Like cliff diving, except you'd come back up."

"I don't see cliff diving anywhere in here..."

"Because the front of the book is only for things I haven't done before. I go backwards from the end of the book with things I've already done before and would like to do again."

"You've been cliff diving before?"

"Yeah, it was great. Free falling for thirty feet and breaking through an ice cold sheet of water. Amazing." He stared at me in disbelief. "You should try it sometime, it's fun."

"I'll put it on my to-do list," he said with a smile, shaking his head.

There was a light knock on my door before it opened, and Carlisle came inside. "Good morning Isabella, Edward. How are you feeling today?" I wondered how bad my face looked right now.

"I'm fine," I told him with a smile. Edward shot me a look.

"If you don't tell him, I will," he said seriously. I sighed.

"I kind of fell out of my bed this morning. I really am fine though, just a little sore."

He gave me a concerned look, but took me at my word, saying that he would be able to tell if there was anything wrong while he helped me with my exercises. I went to the washroom first, and washed my face with ice-cold water. My face didn't look too bad, my cheeks were just really red, and my hair had dried surprisingly nicely. It was pretty smooth, the ends of it curling into soft ringlets. I saw Charlie's necklace on my neck, and I smiled sadly. I did feel closer to him wearing it, just like I had felt closer to Jake once my ring was back on my left finger. I rested my hand over the pendant and closed my eyes for a moment. I was filled with so much emotion, I had been so lucky to have met them, even if our time had been much too short. I had so many wonderful memories of them, and I would cherish them until the end of time. I was grateful to have known them both, and I wouldn't have traded those memories for anything in the world. I needed to do this more, just remember and be grateful that at least I had these memories. It made the pain just a little bit easier.

The exercises weren't much more painful than yesterday, and mostly consisted of slightly bending, lifting and pushing. Such small things, and it drove me crazy how hard it was. They once again left me exhausted.

As soon as he was done and I laid back against my upright bed, my door opened again.

"Alice? I thought you were going to spend the day with your family."

"I am," she said happily, and walked into my room followed my Esme, Jasper, and two more vampires that I had never met before.

Seven, just like Jacob had told me.

Seven, just like the pack. But now there were only six.

I wasn't mad at her though, I was always happy to see her. "Nice loop hole," I told her, the corner of my mouth twitching up. She ran over and gave me a hug. So did Esme.

"It's so nice to see you Isabella," Esme said as she squeezed me gently. "I missed you, how have you been? How are you feeling? Oh, I baked you some cookies," she said happily, and I couldn't help smiling as she sped through her words. It was adorable.

"Thank you Esme, and I'm fine. It's so nice having those casts off," I told her happily. I looked over at the other three, who were still standing close to the door. "Hey Jasper." I tried to concentrate really hard on him, and on the feeling that it was nice to see him.

He smiled, and I felt that same emotion float back into my mind. "Hey Isabella." Edward had the most curious expression on his face as he looked between the two of us, but I pretended not to see it.

"This is my sister Rosalie, and this is Emmett," Alice said, introducing me to the new vampires. Rosalie was absolutely gorgeous, the most beautiful woman I had even seen in my life. She was taller than me, with long, thick golden hair. Emmett reminded me a little bit of Jacob; he was a little shorter than him, and very pale like all of the vampires, but was huge and muscular with short black hair.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you," I said politely.

"You too," she said, offering me a dazzling smile. I resisted the urge to try and smooth out my hair. It wouldn't have helped in the slightest; there was no way to not look dull next to her.

"Alice told me that you fixed my truck for me. Thank you so much, I have no idea how to thank you," I said a little shyly.

"Don't even worry about it, I love working on cars. She's a very nice truck, you don't see too many of those around anymore."

"I know, it's too bad. Trucks these days have no personality. She could use a bit of work though, I've been meaning to replace the fuel injectors for a while, but they're not easy to find for that model."

She laughed, a beautiful musical sound. "You work on cars?"

I shrugged. "I'm no expert, but I enjoy it." She gave me another small smile while looking at me curiously. I looked back over to Emmett, and he was looking at me with the weirdest expression. "What?" I said, a little rudely maybe, but he didn't seem to mind.

His eyebrows shot up, like I had surprised him. "What?"

"You're looking at me weird," I told him suspiciously.

He smiled a little mischievously. "You surprised me is all, sorry. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too," I said suspiciously, and gave him a calculated look. His smile got bigger. If he thought he could intimidate me, he was dead wrong. I've seen much bigger men than him before.

The room was quiet for a moment. I should have been scared to be packed into a small room with seven vampires but… I wasn't. Would Jacob be mad if he knew how much I enjoyed their company? No, Jacob would never have been mad at me for anything, ever, he would just be worried about my safety. But even he couldn't completely hate the coven… They didn't take lives, they saved them. They were all watching me, everyone waiting for someone else to talk, standing a little too still, a little too comfortably. I reached over to my purse beside my bed, and pulled out my deck of cards.

"Anyone want to play a game of poker?"

My words seemed to ease the tension in the room thankfully. Alice came and sat in her usual spot beside me on my bed, and Carlisle went and scavenged a few extra chairs. Everyone circled around my bed, and I handed the deck to Edward habitually so that he could start dealing.

It was a nice afternoon.

The Cullens kept me thoroughly distracted as we delved into a long poker tournament. I was in with Rosalie, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper while Edward played the house dealer and Alice sat tucked beside me on the small bed playing with my hair. I'm not sure what she was doing to it, but it felt nice. Esme refereed most of the time; not in the game really, just trying to make her 'adopted children' behave. I found their bickering really comforting though, it reminded me of home.

I seemed to surprise Jasper and Emmett with how good I was, but I had spent so many Sunday and summer evenings playing with my pack. "You hustled me," Emmett said, throwing down his pair of queens in frustration. I slid the pile of cotton balls that we were using as currency towards myself.

"I never said I was bad at the game, it's your own fault for assuming." I told him with a smirk. He laughed.

"You never said you were a pro either," he said darkly.

I shrugged. "If you'd rather play something easier like go fish or something I don't mind," I said teasingly, and Rosalie and Jasper laughed loudly. He smiled, and his booming laugh filling the room.

The sun had gone down, and I was surprised to see how awake and alert all of them seemed while my eyelids started to feel heavy. Well, they didn't need to eat food or breathe, maybe they didn't sleep either? Edward left at eight to start his shift, but the rest of them stayed until almost ten before wishing me a good night. I can't believe that they wasted their entire holiday keeping me company, but I was grateful. It would have been a long day, stuck in my own mind with my memories.

"Hey Alice," I said as she was walking out the door, the last to leave. She spun around and gave me a smile. I'm sure she already knew what I was going to do, but I played it cool. I picked up the wrapped book beside me and tossed it over to her. She caught it easily.

"What's this?"

"A Christmas present. It's not much but… I want you to have it."

She carefully opened the wrappings, and regarded the book for a moment before opening it to the first page. She looked genuinely surprised, but it could have been an act for all I knew. I watched her expression carefully, and saw the emotions in her eyes. It looked like she wanted to cry, but her eyes didn't water. Maybe vampires weren't able to cry.

She dashed over to my bed a little too quickly, and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you Isabella, I promise that I'll take good care of it." I patted her on the back awkwardly until she let me go. "I wasn't sure if you were into the whole gift giving thing, but now I feel fine giving you this," she said with a brilliant smile, pulling a small white box with red ribbons out of her purse.

I swallowed my uncomfortable response, and carefully untied the ribbon with my good hand before lifting the lid off of the box. Folded neatly inside was a soft, knitted scarf with different hues of violet and hints of dark green. It was beautiful. "I made it myself," she said with an excited smile.

I leaned forward to hug her this time. "Thank you Alice, I love it."

"Good! I better see you wearing it then," she told me happily. She wished me a good night again, and almost danced out of my room.

Finally alone, I slid into my wheelchair and went over to my closet, opening up my grey suitcase and taking out my photo album.

"Merry Christmas Mom, I'm sorry I took so long," I said to my favourite picture of her. The pain of missing Jacob and Charlie seemed to dull the pain of missing her this year, and I kissed the picture before putting it away again, taking out my other photo album. It was mostly empty now, but I easily found the picture of Charlie and I last Christmas, our faces smooshed together as I took the first picture with my new camera. I could only look at it for a minute before I had to close the book. "Merry Christmas Dad," I said softly, putting the book away and closing my suitcase. The pain in my chest made it hard to breathe. I rolled back to my bed, and pulled my tin out from under my pillow. I couldn't open it today though, I wouldn't let myself cry.

"I love you baby. I wish you were here with me. I wish I had made last Christmas count more. I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice catching on almost every word. I rolled onto my good side, clutching at my memories of him.

"_I want to build a cake out of steak and use these potatoes to frost it like icing_," my mind whispered to me. I felt asleep with the smallest smile playing on my mouth at the memory.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle came in every single day to help me with my exercises. I was relieved by this town's seemingly constant cover of clouds. It must be why they had chosen to live here. We would work for an hour and a half twice every day, but I had plenty of alone time to work in secret. It had been almost two weeks before I was able to make a fist with my left hand. After that, while I was alone I would practice by holding different things from my suitcase. I started with light things; a pair of rolled up socks, my brush, a book, my blow-dryer then a bottle of shampoo. By the end of January, I was able to hold a two-pound weight at shoulder level for over a minute and could braid my own hair or put it in a ponytail. I was able to lift my leg a little more each day, and was getting close to being able to support my weight on it. I ignored the pain with determination. _Pain is just weakness leaving the body_, I quoted to myself repeatedly.

Saint Mary's Hospital had become a sort of home to me over the past five months. My insurance apparently covered my private room for the duration of my rehabilitation. They were pretty good accommodations. Even with all of my belongings here I didn't need much space, so I really didn't mind my small room. I felt lucky to have my own bathroom.

Today I was going to get to see some of the town that I had been staying in for so long for the first time. Carlisle had given me permission to go out for a few hours as long as I used a wheelchair, and Alice practically begged me to let her show me around.

The Cullens had become such a big part of my life. Carlisle had not only saved me twice in the surgery room, but had taken a dedicated interest into my rehabilitation. Both him and Esme treated me more like one of their adopted children than a patient. Alice was the biggest part though. Her constant company and dedication to trying to make my days just a little bit brighter is what really kept me going. Despite her… condition, I was totally at ease around her. She was able to make me smile, to help me escape my own dark cloud of pain, even if it was only for short moments. She was my friend, a best friend by any definition. She made me want to stay, against my better judgement.

After my shower I got dressed carefully in a nice pair of jeans and a dark-brown blouse. Despite gaining back some weight since I started eating, my clothes still felt too lose on me. And I didn't want these clothes anymore, every time I put on a shirt, I remembered each time I had worn it around Jacob. I hated that my clothes made me sad, and even though I didn't want any of them anymore I knew I would never been able to throw them out. I put my hair into a neat ponytail before clasping my necklace, and wrapping my beautiful knitted scarf around my neck. I knew that I wouldn't be walking, so I felt safe to put on my nice pair of black heels. I was happy that I didn't need to wear those bulky braces anymore because there was no way that my jacket would have fit over top of it. Alice blew into my room just as I was slipping my arms through the sleeves of my jacket, a giant, excited smile taking over her face.

"Good! You're all ready. It's pretty cold outside, are you going to be okay in that thin jacket?" She asked curiously. I ignored the fact that she wasn't even wearing a jacket.

"I'll be fine, I like the cold," I told her honestly. I loved every temperature really; I loved the chill of the cold winter air, the feeling of the sun making my skin tingle while laying out in the summer, the cool dampness of rain. Each of them only made me appreciate the others even more. I saw a small smile playing on her mouth. She was as cold as snow, she should have known I wouldn't mind the cool air when I was completely comfortable with her touch. She grabbed my purse for me off of my bedside table, tossing it into my lap before wheeling me quickly out of the room. Carlisle was standing just outside of the door though, a concerned expression on his face.

"Just a couple of hours girls. Isabella, if you start feeling too sore or tired, make sure to get Alice to take you back right away."

I was always sore, today wouldn't be any different. "I feel great Carlisle, I'll be fine. You worry too much," I told him with a smile. He smiled too, and patted me gently on the shoulder before Alice zoomed us down the hall to the elevators.

The sharp air felt refreshing on my skin, and I had closed my eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling before Alice stopped. I opened my eyes to a gorgeous canary yellow Porsche. I felt my jaw drop slightly. Jacob would have passed out at the opportunity to drive this.

Alice laughed. "I take it that you like her?" I nodded silently. "She's my baby, a Christmas present from Edward."

"He bought you a _Porsche_ for Christmas?" I asked disbelievingly, and she nodded happily. I guess it's not hard to save up money when you never die. She opened up the door, and went to help me out of my chair.

"No, I got it," I told her, and wheeled myself a bit closer to the door. Her hand hovered closely to me as I pushed myself out of the chair, then held onto the door as I carefully lowered myself into the black leather seats. She folded up my chair and easily tucked it into the trunk. The interior was just as beautiful and sleek as the outside. Alice slid in quickly, and turned up the heat as soon as she started the car. The quiet rev of the engine put an excited smile on my face, which only grew bigger as she peeled down the street.

The town was adorable, bigger than Forks but still very small. After crossing a wide river on a beautiful arched steel bridge, we drove down the main street, "King George's Highway", that most of the town's businesses seemed to be situated on. It seemed like more of a road that a highway, lots of traffic lights and a really low speed limit, but it would be an easy enough name to remember. It ran parallel to the wide river.

The houses in the area had so much character, small little things painted in different bright colors. I had been keeping an eye on the real estate pages in the local newspapers, and the prices were very affordable. "Can we go to a bank first? I have some things that I need to check out," I asked her. She agreed happily, turning around and taking us back to the main part of town. I was thankful that they had my branch here. Once we parked, Alice brought up my chair and lent me a steady hand to slide into it before bringing me inside. I was happy to have her; I knew for certain that I would have gotten stuck in the deep snow and slush.

I was blown away when I saw my bank balance. There was more money in there then I knew what to do with, and it made me sad instead of happy. I didn't see the zeroes, to me it read; Charlie's house, Charlie's savings, The Newton's store, my parent's house outside of Seattle, My mom's and my father's life insurance and savings… and that was in American money, if I had it exchanged the number would just go up. The air caught in my throat as I tried to take a steadying breath, and my vampire best friend heard it of course.

"Is everything okay Isabella? If you need any financial help…"

"No Alice, I don't need any money. I have more money that I can picture myself spending, that's the problem." She seemed to understand, and gave me a gentle hug. I withdrew a few hundred dollars guiltily, determined to try and turn it into something positive. I tried to look on the bright side, when I got out of the hospital I could buy a small house instead of renting an apartment.

Alice looked at the pile of bills in my hand curiously. "So, any good places to go shopping around here?"

She squealed in delight, catching the attention of everyone in the store. With Alice's captivating beauty, and me in my wheelchair, we drew a lot of attention.

Alice must have taken me to every store in the city. Out of habit I bought the biggest suitcase I could find, it just felt wrong to own anything that I couldn't fit into my bags. Alice had a worried expression on her face.

"Why are you getting a suitcase? Are you leaving?" She asked in a panicked tone.

She had told me months ago that she hoped that I would stay, and I had realized that I had actually planned on doing so. Because I didn't want to leave her. Alice could have just been being polite though. She sounded like she wanted me to, but it was wrong for me to assume.

I looked at her seriously. "Alice, do you want me to stay? Honestly?"

She looked at me in shock. "Isabella, you're my best friend. You're like a sister to me and I love you. Of course I want you to stay. Will you? Can you?"

I evaluated her expression and tone for a few minutes, looking for any hint of insincerity, but found none. "Yeah, I'll stay." She crushed me with another hug, a much tighter one that made my healing ribs hurt, but I didn't want to pull away.

"So you don't need the suitcase then," she said happily, and went to put it back. I held on tightly though, rolling along as she pulled it.

"Yes I do, I intend to fill it with clothes," I told her knowingly. "I don't want to wear my old clothes anymore, but I don't want to get rid of them either. This is just for easy storage."

She debated for a second, and then nodded. "Okay, as long as you're not planning on running away from me," she said with a smile.

She was completely up to the task of helping me fill it. We carried it around to every store we went to, putting my purchases inside instead of getting everything in plastic bags. I was happy to be saving on waste, because the plastic bags would have been thrown out immediately anyways. Alice pointed out that I would need new shoes to go with new outfits, and by the time the suitcase was full, it was almost five at night.

"I should probably get you back, my Dad's going to kill me for having you out so late," Alice said sadly.

I really didn't want to go back, despite how tired I was. I gave her my best pout. "Could we at least stop for something to eat before we go back?" I pleaded, and just on cue my stomach growled hungrily.

I saw her cave and smiled. "Of course, what do you want to get?"

"Something greasy and salty and completely unhealthy," I told her happily. We stopped at a fast food place, where I got a cheese burger with bacon and extra pickles, some fries and a chocolate milkshake. I wasn't able to finish half of it, but it tasted amazing. Alice's phone buzzed as we got into the beautiful car, and she answered it quickly.

"I know Dad, we're on our way back now. We stopped for dinner, I couldn't turn her down and make her eat that horrible hospital food," she said, putting the perfect amount of guilt into her voice. It seemed to work, because she smiled quickly. "Okay, we'll see you soon. Love you!" She flipped the phone shut.

"You're not in trouble are you?" I asked guiltily.

"No, but I don't think my Dad will let me take you out again for a while," she told me sadly. I hated hearing her voice take that tone, and I reached out to take her hand.

"Hey, I should be discharged soon, then we can go on a shopping trip and do some real damage," I told her knowingly. I wasn't that into shopping really, even though I had liked the distraction and needed the clothes, but I would gladly do it again to make her happy. She seemed thrilled by the offer, and drove back to the hospital with a wide smile.

**. . . . .**

Carlisle's hands hovered closely in case I fell as I gripped onto the bars and put my weight onto my left leg. "Come on Isabella, you can do this, I know you can," he whispered encouragingly. I cringed as I put the weight on, but I didn't fall as I took that first step. I looked up to his face in astonishment, and he beamed back at me. I lunged forward and hugged him tightly.

**. . . . .**

"Carlisle says you're coming along really good in physio," Edward said as he waited for me to shuffle. It had kind of become our routine that he would come in and play cards with me for an hour before he started his shifts. Even on days that he didn't work he would come in. I remembered clearly the incident from Christmas morning, two long months ago,

"_I'm just a man who happens to be a Doctor, and also thinks that you're an amazing woman. We care about you, Alice and I, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper. We're your friends, and we _won't_ leave you."_

So apparently he was my friend. He never brought up that moment again, or even hinted at it afterwards. He never tried to hug me or touch me again, and for that I was really thankful. I still couldn't fathom how I had let myself do that, completely break down and spill my secrets to this man, to have let him hold me and comfort me, but I had.

But not all of my secrets. I was still certain that they did not know of my past in Forks, of my knowledge of them, my pack, or of my Jacob. And I will never tell them. Even if I was Jacob's spirit wife, I still wasn't sure if that affected the treaty. I would not risk exposing my loved ones, and I couldn't bring myself to risk the chance of losing Alice either. They may not trust me with their secret, and I couldn't blame them.

So, I tried to stop questioning Edward's odd friendship with me, and was as polite as possible to him. I wasn't nearly as comfortable around him as I was with Carlisle or Alice, my Doctor and my best friend, but I didn't mind his short visits. Honestly, he was entertaining to talk to. We had so many of the same interests like books and classical music, and he knew so much. I had no idea how old he really was, but it seemed like he had spent decades reading books. In my mind I referred to him as my own personal internet search engine, and loved learning new bits of information from him with the questions I would ask.

He had even more questions than I did though, and I couldn't understand what I had to offer him. Surely he would enjoy our debates more with someone more well read, like Carlisle, but he always seemed thoroughly interested in my opinions. I would watch each day as he looked into my eyes as we spoke, and saw them fade from a burning gold into onyx black, and then every two weeks or so, he would come in and they would be back to the beginning of the cycle and start again. Did they turn darker as he grew hungry, and go back to that curious shade of gold once he fed? I had so many questions like that, that I would never be able to get the answers to. Did they all have super powers? If so what was his? Because I still had no idea what it was. Did they ever sleep? Because they never seemed tired. Why did they feed on animals? How could they work surrounded by so much blood?

And the most important one; What was a Volturi?

It was the question that I thought about the most. There must be some way to get an answer from them without blowing my cover. If it was some vampire thing or group, which I'm almost certain it was, there was no way to ask without hinting that I knew what they were. I would find out somehow though. It's one of the things that kept me almost motivated, my need for revenge. That Elijah was dead wasn't enough, I wanted to know what the Volturi was, why they wanted my shield, and how to destroy them. They took everything from me, and I was determined to find some way to do the same to them.

Edward had different question too though, personal ones. It became apparent to me that he had an endless list of them, so I limited them to one a day, with no promises that I would always answer.

"Yeah, I was able to walk all the way across the gym room and back before I fell. Carlisle's got a pretty good catch," I said happily. "So I should probably be discharged in a few more days, maybe a week."

I saw the smallest flash of sadness in his eyes, but it was quickly covered by a smile and an excited voice. Edward was easy to read, you could practically see his thoughts in his eyes most of the time. Well his emotions anyways, I knew that there were probably decades of secrets that I couldn't see in the depths of those eyes. "That's amazing news. Alice says that you've decided to stay in the area," he said, almost hopefully?

"For a while anyways. I wasn't really going anywhere in particular in the first place, and now that my baby…" I shook my head and cleared my throat. "This seems as good a place as any. It's a nice town, even covered in snow."

"It's even more beautiful in the summer, so much green, lots of forests. My sister loves small towns like this, it's why we moved here." _That and the cloud cover_, I thought with a small smile. "Have you been looking at any places?" He asked curiously.

"I bought a house, actually." His eyes looked surprised for a moment. "I just signed the papers today. It's a little place in town, but it's backed right up against the forest, and since it's on a hill I have a great view over the river. I take ownership on the thirty-first," I told him proudly. It was a fixer-upper, but I was more excited about that part than owning my first house. The realtor had been skeptical about selling to an eighteen-year-old, but when I said the magic words, "I'll be paying in full immediately," she had no more problems.

"Wow, congratulations," he said happily. "Where will you be staying until then? If you're going to be leaving here so soon."

"There's a nice hotel in town, I'll just get a room for a few weeks." My house had been almost half the price that Charlie's had been sold for, so I really had no problems with finances. I could go the rest of my life without working if I wanted to, but I was set on going job hunting as soon as I was free from here, just to keep busy.

"You really don't need to waste all that money on a hotel, I'm sure Esme would be happy to have you, I know she has the room. I have a spare bedroom at my place to, if you want."

"Thanks, I think I would be more comfortable with my own place though." I tried to say it politely, but I didn't miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes. Really though, did he actually think I would stay in his house? It just seemed to be pushing it a little too, sleeping in a house with six vampires. I loved Alice, but I knew I wouldn't be comfortable. "Sorry."

"It's okay, just thought I'd offer. So, do you plan on going to College or University?"

"Is that your question for today?" I asked curiously. He had already asked a few, but they were more polite conversation than anything. He nodded. "I had really wanted to go to school to be a teacher before… but I just have no desire to do it anymore. I might be doing a couple online courses for fun, but besides that I really don't have the desire to go."

"What sort of online courses were you thinking of taking?"

"Nope, you had your one," I told him teasingly. He frowned, pouting like a child, but knew better than to push me. I once again beat him at a game of crazy eights and packed away my deck of cards, knowing that he would be leaving. His shift had started five minutes ago. He was getting much more graceful at losing, and I only saw a second of frustration pass through his eyes. He stood up, and put the chair back against the wall. He always seemed to hesitate before leaving, like he didn't want to. No one really wants to go to work though, that was it. I was getting better at easing the awkward moments when he would always look into my eyes for a minute before leaving.

"It's okay, you're bound to win sometime," I told him sweetly, and he laughed. "Good night Edward."

"Good night Isabella."

I walked over to my washroom to brush my teeth and wash my face before crawling into bed and opening my tin. I took out my little wolf, and gave him his usual goodnight kiss before holding him tightly against my chest.

_Good night Jacob, I love you_, I said in my mind, knowing it wasn't safe to even whisper the words aloud. I could clearly imagine his voice in my mind, whispering the words back, before I tied up my tin and went to sleep.

**. . . . .**

"Are you sure that you wouldn't like to stay with Esme and I until you move into your house? We have plenty of room, you'd have your own bedroom and bath room and-"

"Thank you Carlisle, but I'll be fine. Really." He seemed so sad, and I couldn't help leaning in and giving him a hug. "But really, thank you, for everything."

He squeezed me a little tighter before straightening up. "Well, you make sure to come back in a week for your check-up. Don't walk any long distances, don't even stand for too long, and no lifting anything more than five pounds," he said sternly.

"I won't, I promise." I gave him another small smile, and followed Alice and Rosalie outside, who were carrying my four bags for me. My truck was waiting for me outside the main doors, and the girls laughed at me when I walked straight up to the hood and hugged it while they put my bags in the back. "I missed you big girl," I whispered happily. Rosalie handed me the keys, but I hesitated when I reached out for the door handle.

For a second, I swear that I had seen Jacob in the seat, smiling down at me. My breath caught in my throat, and Alice and Rosalie each gave me concerned looks. "Are you sure you want to drive? I don't mind driving her to the hotel for you," Rosalie said gently, putting a delicate hand on my shoulder. I considered it for a moment, then nodded silently before handing her back the keys and walked around to the passenger door.

I fought back the tears when I slid into my seat. It didn't smell like him anymore. I don't know why I had expected it to, he hadn't been inside it for almost seven months, but I realized I had been hoping it would. I was lost in my own thoughts as Alice drove behind us in her Porsche over to the Hotel. I could still see the faint bloodstain on the bench seat, though it was obvious that someone had tried extremely hard to wash it out. That's where our child had died… would I ever be able to drive this truck again? I pulled out my note book, opening it to the first page. In the blank header I wrote "Re-upholster truck bench," in large letters.

I had made my reservation already for the next three weeks, and went to the front desk to check in while the girls carried my bags for me. They were under strict orders from Carlisle to make sure I didn't lift them. The hotel was also worried about renting a room to someone my age, and I paid in full to ease their minds. They came up to my room with me, and put my bags up on the long desk. It was a decent room, a large window over-looking the forest, one queen-size bed, a white bathroom and a new-looking TV that I doubted I would use. The two of them hung out with me for a little bit, but Alice had a shift to work at the hospital and was going to drop Rose off at home. I gave them each a hug and thanked them as they left, and ignored the worried looks they gave me as they walked down the hall. I was no stranger to hotel rooms, they had been my home for weeks before my accident.

Alone, I opened up my tin and put one of my pictures of Jacob on my nightstand. I fell asleep much easier being able to look at his smiling face.

**. . . . .**

_My first full day as a free woman_, I thought to myself as I stood out of bed. I hadn't bothered to set an alarm, not really having any plans. I had told Alice that I would give her a call, but that was it.

It was only eight in the morning. I dug out my toiletry bag, walked over to the bathroom and had a nice, long bath. I didn't have my special bench in this shower that I'd used when I felt tired at the hospital, so it seemed the safer option. The hotel had supplied me with a cranberry-scented bubble bath, and I soaked in the wonderful scent until the steaming water turned cold.

I took my time doing my hair. It had gotten so long, almost down to my waist now. The shampoos and conditioners that Alice had recommended for me had made it super healthy, but I wasn't always very careful with it, so I sat down on the counter of the sink for an hour, snipping off the split ends that I could find. I put it into a neat ponytail when I was done, wrapping the elastic with a thick braid before pinning it in place. I caught sight of the ugly scar across my naked stomach as I walked out of the bathroom, mentally cringing away from it.

After getting dressed in a pair of dark grey jeans and a silky purple top, I put on my necklace and went downstairs to enjoy my free breakfast. There was a small buffet set up, and I got some blueberry pancakes and a glass of juice before sitting down by the window and reading the paper. The headline made me smile; _Moose caught stealing pants from clothesline_. Apparently the pants had gotten caught on one of his antlers. Yeah, small town for sure. And they had no idea that they had a coven of vampires living on their doorstep. I sat and did the crossword puzzle while picking at my breakfast, and went back up to my room to call Alice.

She answered on the first ring, "Isabella! How was your night at the hotel? How are you feeling today?"

I smiled. "It was fine, the bed was almost too comfortable after all that time in the hospital. Would you be free to hang out for a while today?"

"I am completely free! I can head over now and come pick you up if you want?"

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

"Yay! Okay, see you soon!" She said excitedly, and hung up.

It was a little too wet for the flats I'd been wearing, so I put on my nice new pair of winter boots and walked down to the lobby. Alice was there in less than fifteen minutes, her bright yellow sports car hard to miss. For some reason she got out of the car and walked over to meet me. I wasn't sure why, I was fine to walk the short distance, then I hit a slick patch of ice. She got to me just in time, catching me easily, and I was so thankful to have my little clairvoyant friend with me. She was wearing four inch heels, making her look almost taller than me. I was a little jealous, those shoes would have been a death-sentence for me, but it would be nice to be a little taller.

We both climbed into her car, and she turned to look at me excitedly. "So, where to?" She asked with a smile.

I looked at her apologetically. "I don't know. I'm sorry, I just couldn't stay in that hotel room all day."

"Would you like to come over to my house for a bit?"

"Sure," I said happily. Despite not wanting to actually live there for three weeks, I was curious about what a vampire's house would look like.

It was a bit longer than a half hour drive, and I guessed that she must have been waiting for me to call while already in town. She took us out of the town, and for the last twenty minutes we drove further and further into the forest. I didn't even see the turnoff that she took until we were already on it. As we drove for a couple minutes I had thought that we were on another road until we pulled into the clearing and drove up to the beautiful mansion.

It was three stories high, and painted a pristine white with blue shutters and trim. I had never seen a house this big in my life, outside of a magazine anyways. We drove around to the back of the house to a giant garage where Alice pulled in her car. There was a black Mercedes in there, a small red BMW convertible, a big Jeep wrangler and a giant F-150 with a full cabin and extended bed.

"Are you coming?" Alice asked from the other end of the garage, pausing by the open door.

"Can't we just hang out in here?" I asked pleadingly, stalking around the beautiful red convertible and taking in every detail. It was a work of art, all the way from the designer rims to her modified dual exhaust. "Is that a Magnaflow?" I asked in amazement, tracing a delicate finger over the sleek black exhaust pipes.

"Sure is," Rosalie said proudly, appearing by my side. I didn't even jump, I was too engrossed.

"I bet that dual spilt rear sounds beautiful," I whispered. She hadn't told me not to touch it, so I laid down on the ground and took a peek underneath, and let out a low whistle.

"Oh she does, if you want you can take her for a spin-"

"No! You are not stealing her away from me to talk cars today. If you want to play call Edward," Alice said seriously, and I laughed as she pulled me inside.

"I'll take you up on that later Rosalie!" I said before Alice shut the door. I would have dreams about what that beauty was hiding under her hood tonight…

It took me a minute to take in my surroundings as we went inside. It was like all the walls except for the weight bearing ones had been torn down, opening the huge main floor into a giant room. The back wall seemed to be made entirely of glass, looking out into the deep forest. Alice led me over to the kitchen, where Esme was pulling a tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. She put them down quickly and ran over to hug me.

"Oh Isabella sweetheart, it's so nice to see you," she said excitedly.

"I hope you don't mind. You have a very beautiful home," I told her shyly.

"Oh thank you dear, she's a work in progress but I quite enjoy her."

"Edward told me about your fondness for home renovations," I said with a smile, "If you're free sometime, I'd love to get your opinion on a few things about my new house."

Her face lit up. "I would enjoy that very much," she said sincerely. She offered me some cookies, and I took a pile upstairs with me while I followed Alice on her tour. It's not like they were going to eat them, it would be shameful to let them go to waste. I tried to keep up with her while she walked up the first flight of stairs, but the throbbing pain apparently became too much for my leg when it buckled under me. Alice grabbed me before I could slide down the stairs.

"Oh Isabella I'm so sorry, you shouldn't be walking up stairs like this, I got so excited that I didn't even think. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sorry, I should have said something. It's just a little bump though, I'll be fine." It took her a couple minutes to be reassured, and she helped me hop back down the stairs to the living room. I didn't drop a single cookie though, I thought proudly, and started munching on them happily once I sat down on the comfy couch. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett came down to sit with us, turning on the TV. It was a little surreal, seeing these beautiful vampires acting so… normal. Just sitting around and watching TV like average teenagers. Emmett picked out a football game to watch, which painfully reminded me of Charlie. Jasper looked over at me, and I tried to shake my head discreetly, not wanting him to make a big deal about it. He sent a little flutter of happiness towards me, and I gave him a thankful smile.

Instead of looking at the TV, I inspected the small details of the room. Very tidy vampires, I couldn't see a speck of dust anywhere in the house. There were so many beautiful pieces of art scattered around the room, amazing paintings and vases, but there was one piece in particular that caught my attention. The prettiest chessboard I have ever seen, it looked like the pieces had been sculpted out of marble.

"That's a gorgeous chess set," I said to no one in particular.

"Thanks," Jasper said. "Do you play?"

"Kind of." He raised an eye at my embarrassment, brushing it away and making me laugh. "I like playing, but I've never met anyone else that does. I've only played against the crappy computer at my old school in Seattle."

He smiled, "Want to play a game with me?"

"I wouldn't man," Emmett said with a suspicious smile. "I bet she's hustling you, the kid is scarey good at games."

I rolled my eyes at him, but accepted Jasper's offer happily. He dashed over to pick it up, setting it on the table in front of me and sitting on the floor across from me.

It was much more fun playing with a real person, and I did see them more as people than vampires. "Are you sure you've never played before?" Jasper asked. I could feel his frustration leaking into me, and pushed hard against it to block it out.

"Yup," I said with a smile, taking his queen. "Check mate." Alice laughed.

"Hah! As if she beat you, no one but Edward and Alice ever beat Jasper at chess," Emmett said with a booming laugh. I could see why Alice would be hard to beat, and wondered if Edward had a similar power.

"Beginner's luck. I want a rematch," Jasper said seriously. He agreed to wait until the next time I came over, and that seemed to cheer him up a bit.

"Hey Rosalie, I was thinking about re-upholstering the bench in my truck, do you know any places that might sell some good leather?"

"Not in the area, you'd have to order online or drive down to Moncton or Fredericton," she said sadly.

"How far away are those places?" I asked curiously.

"Just a few hours, three tops." I thanked her, and made a mental note to buy a map.

**. . . . .**

The next day I decided to start my job hunting. I went to the library that I had seen during my tour with Alice to type up and print off some resumes.

"Hey there sweetie. I don't think I've seen you in here before," said the woman behind the main desk. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, with shoulder length brown hair and pale green eyes. She had such a friendly smile, it reminded me of Esme's. "We don't get enough young people in here to read anymore. It's unfortunate really."

"Yeah, I just moved here," I told her shyly. She seemed to sense my unease, and gave me another gentle smile. "This is a very beautiful library though, I just had to come check it out."

"She is beautiful isn't she? One of the oldest buildings in town, she's over a hundred years old now. I try to take good care of her," she said affectionately.

"Would it be okay to use one of the computers? I wanted to type up some resumes so I could do some job-hunting."

"Of course, may I ask what sort of work you're looking for?"

She felt really easy to talk to, and I was completely honest. "I'm not sure, I'm just looking for something to kill time really. Something light, I just got out of the hospital and I'm not supposed to be on my feet for too long."

She seemed to panic slightly, and grabbed her chair before hopping over the counter and ushering me to sit down. It was so sweet, she didn't even know me and seemed genuinely worried about me. I took the seat happily though, my leg had been bothering me.

"Well, I'm actually looking to hire someone here. The pays not great, and it can get very quiet sometimes, but it's pretty easy work. And you have a large selection of reading material for when you get bored," she said with a nervous smile.

"Are you serious?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Of course, I'd have to give you a short interview first, but I'm really short staffed now that…" She shook her head, and changed the subject. "I'm sorry, it was rude for me to assume, a young girl like yourself would probably want something less boring-"

"No no, it's just that working at a library had always been a small dream of mine. It just sounded a little too good to believe. Hi, I'm Isabella," I said with a smile, standing back up to give her a firm hand shake.

She smiled back happily. "I'm Katharine, but you can just call me Kat. What sort of work experience do you have?"

"Well, I moved here from Seattle. I worked in a bookstore there for a few months, and then a sporting goods store for seven months after that before I came here."

"Oh. Sorry, this is probably a dumb question, but are you allowed to work in Canada?"

"Oh, umm… I'm not sure actually."

"Well honey, I'll tell you what. I like you, and I won't interview anyone else for the next two days. You find out if it's legal and come back to me before then, and the job is yours. If you've worked in a bookstore before, you probably have most of your training done already." I let her know that I would get back to her as soon as possible, and left not seeing the point in printing out resumes. I couldn't help smiling at the fact that I seemed to be good at accidentally finding employment.

I knew the perfect person to ask. She moved around all over the place, my vampire friend would surely know the answers to my questions. She could probably forge a document for me if I needed one too, I thought with a smile.

Alice was quite helpful. I didn't ask how she had done it, but she came to me the next day with my approved permit to work in the country. After thanking her about a hundred times, I drove over to the Library again and told Kat. She was just as pleased as I was, and we chatted happily while she showed me around and described my duties in the store. She offered for me to start on Monday, and I happily agreed.

I went back to my hotel room, and curled up on my bed with my tiny wolf. "Can you believe it babe? A job at a library... Wow." I felt the tears prick in my eyes, but I held them at bay. "It feels so wrong being happy without you by my side, but I'm doing this for you. You saved my life, and I promise that I won't waste it. Hopefully you can forgive me when we meet again in the stars." My throat felt too swollen to talk anymore, and I closed my eyes tightly to fight my tears. I fell asleep clutching my wolf to my chest, and remembering the feeling of his arms around me.

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Living

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Fourteen :: Living**

**Isabella**

I couldn't find the stepping stool anywhere, and resigned to grabbing an empty milk crate. Kat had no idea how lucky she was to be so tall, it's almost embarrassing not being able to reach the top three shelves. That Philosophy book stuck in the home improvement section was driving me crazy though, and I couldn't rest knowing that it was there. Even with the extra foot of height it was still just barely out of my reach.

A porcelain white hand easily grabbed the book though. I had felt him walk up beside me, so I didn't jump when Edward's hand plucked the book from the shelf. "Is this what you were attempting to reach?" He asked, one corner of his mouth pulling up into a crooked grin.

"Hey Edward. Thanks," I said, as he handed over the book. "It was driving me crazy being up there. It's nice that people try to put them away themselves sometimes, but I really wish they would just leave it for me to do properly." I realized I had been rambling, again, and blushed slightly out of embarrassment. "So, what brings you here?"

"I just came to pick up a zoning book for my sister. She wants to build a patio and pool in her backyard, but needs to make sure there aren't any pipes or wires under there."

"Oh, those are right over here, follow me." I wove through the isles to the back of the building, and pointed up at the top shelf. "Just up there."

He pulled the book off of the shelf, flipping through the pages quickly. "Perfect, thanks. Can I check this out?"

"I can't let you take that copy, but I can make some photo copies for you if you'd like."

"That'd be great, thanks." Instead of waiting at one of the reading tables like people usually did, he followed me over into the office and leaned against the wall, watching me while I found the pages Esme would need and made the copies.

"So… how's work?" I asked, grasping at straws to fill the silence. It had been a couple weeks since I had seen him last, and I almost felt guilty that I hadn't visited him. He spent months coming to my room every night to play cards with me. Maybe I should have sent him a thank-you note or something…

"It's okay, a little boring now that you're gone, but I'm happy that you're not stuck in that little room anymore," he told me with a smile. "How have you been? Are you enjoying work here?"

"I love it," I told him honestly. "Surrounded by all these books… I couldn't have found a better job. My boss is great too, she's such a sweet woman."

He gave me a soft smile. "I'm really happy to hear that. Have you moved into your house yet?"

"Nope, that's tomorrow," I said excitedly.

"Do you need any help moving?"

"I should be fine, I just have a couple of suitcases really, and Esme and Alice are coming to help me move them already." I said it with a bit of a laugh, but saw a disappointed look cross his face quickly. Maybe that was his attempt at asking to hang out with me? Once again I felt a pang of guilt twinge in my stomach. "But you're welcome to tag alone, if you want?"

His smile took over his entire face, and my guilt evaporated. Apparently he still wanted to be my friend… and I realized I had no idea how that would work. For some reason, if felt so much different with him than it did with Alice or Jasper. "I'd love to, thanks. You sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all." Even I don't know if that was a lie or not.

"Cool, well… I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, his voice sounding a little excited. I gave him a small smile while he gracefully walked out of the building.

Six rolled around, and I turned off the lights and locked the door behind me before walking over to my truck. It got a little easier to drive each day since I hung my dream catcher from the rear view mirror, like it was absorbing my sadness. I stopped at the Canadian Tire to by an air mattress, and then picked up some dinner before heading back to my hotel for the last night. My things were already packed, as usual, so I curled up on my bed with my book on do-it-yourself flooring while picking at my salad for the rest of the night.

**. . . . .**

I sadly put away my picture of Jacob and my wolf as soon as I woke up, not wanting to risk Alice seeing it when she came over. After packing my tin away I hopped in the shower quickly, and heard the knock on the door as soon as I turned off the water. I wrapped one of the large fluffy towels around myself and dashed to open the door. "Sorry Alice, I'll just be a couple- Oh, hi Edward." His eyes went wide for a moment as he quickly took in my towel and dripping hair, and pointedly turned away. "Sorry, I'll be ready in a couple minutes. Do you want to come in?"

"Um, sure," I smiled as he went through obvious effort not to look at me, and dashed back into the bathroom to get dressed. Time was short, so I quickly combed my hair and braided it, before slipping on a pair of jeans and a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I slipped my ring back on, and went out to the room. Edward was perched on the edge of my bed, waiting patiently. I gave him an awkward smile, which he returned with a genuine one. "I'd offer to help you pack, but it looks like you're already done."

"Yep, I'm good to go." I picked up my grey suitcase, and Alice blew into my room to give me a hug with a devilish smile on her face. She grabbed one of my other bags, and Edward threw on my hiking pack and grabbed the last bag.

"Are you sure you should be carrying that?" He asked me in concern. I rolled my eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with my right arm, I'm sure I'll be just fine." Really my left one felt great now too, it wasn't as strong as my right, but it didn't hurt much anymore. I followed them down the hall to the elevators, and then through the lobby downstairs. I didn't see their vehicle when they walked me over to the truck, but I gave Edward the address and he said that he would meet us there. Alice and I hopped into my truck, and made our way across town. The closer I got, the bigger my nervous, excited smile grew. My realtor was waiting for me on the front step.

"Hey Miss Swan, you're right on time," Jenny said with a smile. I pushed away the sharp pain I got from hearing the sound of my name, and gave her a smile.

"Sorry, I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Nope, I just got here two minutes ago." She fished into her pocket, and pulled out the set of keys. "So, paperwork is all done, here is the deed to the house, and here are your keys," she said happily, dropping them into my hand. "If there's anything else you need, feel free to give me a call anytime."

"Thanks again Jenny, take care." Alice and I waved as she pulled out of my driveway. I looked at Alice with an excited smile. "So, would you like to see my new house?" She nodded happily, and I was shaking with excitement as I pushed the key into the lock, and opened up the door.

It was a small house, but still had much more space than I needed by myself. One floor with a partial basement, a large kitchen and living room, two bedrooms and one bathroom. The paint was peeling, inside and out, and the floors and windows needed to be replaced, but I absolutely loved it. I knew it must seem tiny and dirty compared to Alice's mansion, but she seemed completely happy and comfortable. "Hold on for just a sec, I need to grab something out of my truck." I skipped outside, hopping up onto one of the back wheels of my truck, and grabbed my crowbar. I had just landed back on the ground, when I heard the sexiest rumble approaching my house. I stood, watching in awe as the beautiful creature rolled into my drive way. I didn't even notice Edward and Esme get out, I was too entranced.

"This is… oh my god, do you seriously own an Aston Martin Vanquish?" I'm pretty sure I was drooling, but I didn't care. _Jacob, are you seeing this? She's so beautiful…_

I heard him chuckle. "Yep. She's a beauty, isn't she?" He said proudly.

Beyond words, I just let out a low whistle. After stalking around her a couple of times, admiring her artistic curves, I finally looked at Edward who had an amused smile on his face. I wasn't embarrassed, she deserved to be worshiped. "If I had known you were hiding her in your garage, I might have taken up that offer of crashing at your house," I said jokingly. "Want to see my new house?"

"Sure," he said, and his tone made me wonder if he had taken my words seriously. I decided to just let it go. I threw my three-foot black and silver crowbar lazily over my shoulder, and gave Esme a small hug before leading them inside. I gave them the quick tour, and started to feel a little self-conscious. I felt like Esme could see what I saw though; not what it was, but what it could be. I tried to explain my vision.

"So, I plan on taking this wall-" I swung at it with my crowbar, making the three vampires jump while I left a gaping hole in it, "And this one," Another swing, "Out altogether. It will really let the light in from the east, and turn this into one big room. All of this is coming out," I caught onto the edge of the floor boards, and ripped up a corner of the splintering wood, "same stuff is in the bedrooms. Then I'm going to strip all of this horrendous paint off, still not sure about the colours, then I'll be replacing the windows." I waved them over to the bathroom that opened up on both sides to each bedroom. I broke through the door into the smaller bedroom. "This I'm going to wall over, and turn that room into a small library, and I'm going to expand the two closets into one big one. What do you think?"

I finally looked over to the three of them. Esme was nodding in agreement, but Alice and Edward were looking at me like I was speaking Chinese backwards. I smiled, "What? Surely you've seen a girl swing a crowbar before," I said with a smile, and laughed as I took a swing at the wall that was separating the two closets.

"Just wasn't expecting it from you," Edward said in disbelief.

I gave him a dark look. "Hey, I'm tougher that I look. I've broken a nose or two in my day, and I'm not talking about my own." The look of surprise that he gave me made me laugh loudly, and I was joined in by Alice who wrapped an arm around my waist. We walked with Esme back over to my living room, and Edward went out to bring my bags in for me.

"Your idea sounds perfect Isabella, I would do the exact same things. Your weight bearing beams are right here and here," she said, pointing to the walls on either side of the bathroom door, "So you should have no problems."

"That's good. I wanted to ask your opinion about the plumbing though, I want to gut the kitchen completely, but would I have any problems if I moved the sink from the corner to under the window?" She showed me how to turn off the water to the house, letting me know I'd have to drain the pipes before disconnecting, and offered to take me out to show me the parts I would need. I thanked her, and told her that I would let her know as soon as I was ready for it.

"So where are you going to sleep tonight?" Edward asked me curiously. "You don't have any furniture."

"Yeah, I don't want to get anything until I'm done with the renovations, they'll just get in the way. I'll be sleeping here though, I picked up and air mattress yesterday, and I have a sleeping bag."

"That can't be very comfortable," he said curiously.

I smiled at the memory, cuddling up next to Jacob on the air mattress in the tent when it had gotten cold. "I've done it plenty of times before, they can me very comfortable." I had to push the memory away quickly. Jacob wouldn't want me here crying, and I wouldn't let those beautiful memories be tainted by my sadness. I thanked them for their help before they left, and Alice volunteered to go shopping at Walmart with me. She said the name like it was a dirty word, but where else was I supposed to go to buy a hammer and toilet paper?

I got all of those little things that I needed besides toilet paper; hand soap, cleaning materials, some safety goggles and a dust mask, then picked up a bunch of groceries, some laundry detergent and a few boxes of garbage bags. I was going to need a lot of them. Alice came back and helped me bring everything inside, and then I gave her a lift home before heading home again myself, picking up a pizza on the way.

I sat on my air mattress on the middle of the room in front of my pizza. I should be happy; I'm an eighteen year old girl living in my own new, completely paid off house. But it paled in comparison to what my life should have been like right now. I should be almost done my pregnancy, living with Jacob and Billy in their beautiful small house. We would have moved into Rebecca's old room, and turned his small one into a nursery maybe. I should have walked down the aisle towards him on Charlie's arm, I know we would have gotten married as soon as he turned eighteen. I should be falling asleep in his arms, his big hands resting on my swollen belly…

I jumped to my feet, grabbing my crowbar and swinging violently at my walls. I was alone and didn't bother to fight the tears as I screamed and shouted in anger. By the time I fell asleep, completely exhausted and sore, I had already taken down the two walls in my living room.

**. . . . .**

I woke up early in the morning to bright sunshine coming in through my window, and realized I had only slept three hours. I wasn't going to bother trying to go back to sleep though, and it looked like I wouldn't be seeing Alice today either. It was Sunday so I didn't have work, and I munched on some cold pizza while I bagged up my garbage from last night's fit. I didn't bother sweeping, and just started ripping up the floors. They were old and falling apart, so they were easy to pull for the most part, and by the end of the day all of the old wood was bagged up and sitting by the front door.

The sun was starting to set, so I hopped into the shower just in case Alice decided to pay me a visit. She came by with Emmett a half hour after I got out. She was blown away by how much I had accomplished in one day.

"Sorry about the mess guys. Just give me a sec, I'm going to drop these bags at the end of the driveway."

"Hey, let me. You look like you could use a break," Emmett said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. I accepted thankfully, feeling like my arms were going to fall off.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked hesitantly once we were alone. I looked at her in confusion.

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

"Nothing," she said sadly. I knew that she knew I was lying, and I did feel bad about it.

"I'm sorry Alice. It's not that I don't trust you, because I do, but there are just some things that I can't talk about. I'll be okay though. I'm just still figuring out how to deal, that's all." She nodded sadly in understanding, and I gave her a hug. "Tomorrow I'm going to start stripping the paint inside. I'm not sure if that's really your thing, but you're welcome to come help if you're bored." The invitation seemed to cheer her up, and I told her that she could come by any time after seven. I thanked Emmett again for his help as they left, and spent an hour sweeping floors then scrubbed my bathroom until I was too tired to keep my eyes open for another second.

**. . . . .**

The week seemed to fly by. Between working all day, and destroying my house until I was too tired to move at night, it seemed like every second of my waking hours was occupied. I liked it, I barely had to think, and not thinking made my days just a little bit easier. Every wall inside my house had been stripped and primed, and Esme and Emmett had even started to help me tear apart my kitchen. He had moved everything into my bedroom, the stove and fridge, to keep them out of the way, and it felt like I was living in some sort of weird college dorm. It was neat, not having to even get out of bed to grab a cold bottle of water. Emmett seemed to enjoy helping, and thought it was hilarious watching me smash things. I really enjoyed his company too; just like Alice, it seemed just too easy for him to make me smile. He just reminded me so much of my brothers.

By the time the weekend rolled around, I was ready to start getting my materials to start building my new kitchen. Esme really wanted to help, so we were driving together in her big F-150 to the store she had recommended. I had spent the last couple days at work sketching out my designs of what I wanted whenever I had free time, and Esme let me drive the powerful truck while she inspected my blueprint. I felt like I was driving a tank, one that was easily capable of barreling down the highways at a hundred and forty KPH. Esme didn't seem to mind, and I guessed that she had driven with Alice many times before. Alice had been happy to let me take her Porsche for a test drive a few nights ago, and it had featured in my dreams ever since.

Neither of them compared to Edward's beautiful, silver goddess though. I hadn't seen him for a while, and wondered what he was up to. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes it felt like he was outside of my house. It was the same feeling I got when I was around anyone, like faint shadows that I could feel in my mind when someone was close. It even woke me up some nights, and I couldn't get back to sleep until the feeling dissolved. It was really weird, and a little creepy, and I had felt it slowly start to set in a little while after Christmas when I was still in the hospital. I thought about it, and was certain that I could _feel_ Esme in the seat next to me. Yes, very weird.

"I really like this idea, of doing the curve with the counter and the island. Very original, it's going to look amazing." She told me to turn, and I pulled into the parking lot of the store. "So, first we'll get the counters cut, then the shelves and cupboards, tiles, back splash…"

"I also want to get a new sink and appliances. I'm donating the ones I have to the community center. I brought some books by the other day, and they're in desperate need of new ones. Someone's coming to pick them up tomorrow." Their stove didn't even work anymore, and the freezer in their fridge was broken. They used them for a lot of programs, after school day care, seniors groups, public functions. Mine might not be brand new, but they were in great condition. Esme gave me a proud smile, and it reminded me so much of Charlie's face at my graduation that I had to look away.

She seemed to have a blast shopping with me. I paid close attention as she explained the pros and cons of different materials. She questioned my high-end choices a little, worrying about the price, but I told her that it wasn't an issue. The way I looked at it, flipping this house was going to make it sell for many times what I paid for it. I figured that I would stay and enjoy the few years I had with Alice, then I'd move on to somewhere else. I knew they wouldn't be able to stay here forever, or people would notice that they didn't age.

It usually took them a few days to cut the marble, but apparently Esme was a very valued customer, and they said that they'd be done by the end of the day with no extra charge. We hopped back into the truck, and went to another store to pick out my new fridge and stove. I loved driving that big truck, as soon as the weather got a little better I would start doing some work on mine. The snow was still melting though, and it would be too much of a mess to work on it now. I picked out all stainless steel appliances, including the microwave and a gorgeous new sink, and the men working were more than happy to move them to the truck for Esme. I swear they didn't even notice me, but I was very much alright with that. It looked like it was painful for her to watch the three men moving the stove, and I knew that she could probably have done it easily herself. I had to cough to cover the laugh at the picture in my mind; sweet little Esme holding a stove above her head with a big smile on her face.

"Are you okay dear?" She asked with a concerned look. "You're not coming down with a cold are you?"

"I'm fine Esme, just a small itch in my throat."

She called Emmett and Jasper on her cell phone, and asked them to meet us at my place to help move the things inside. I felt guilty about it, they all went so far out of their way to help me, and the fact that they had to hide what they really were just made it more difficult for them. I couldn't even offer to make them dinner to pay them back for it. I felt useless. I'm not sure what they really ate, just that they ate animals. Maybe I could try to catch a deer or something… No, there's no way I'd be able to carry it, and I would blow my cover.

So I was just as nice as possible as they moved the things into my now-cluttered bedroom, smiling and thanking them as much as possible. We went back and picked up my other materials, and I tried to lift one box of the tiles and felt like I was going to lose my arm. Esme was talking to the store owner.

"Hey Isabella, let me get that for you. Those boxes probably weigh more than you do."

"David, what are you doing here? I thought you worked at the gift shop at the hospital?" I had been one of their most loyal customers for a few months, so of course I recognized him easily. Short, ink-black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was twenty-five and helped out his mom there a lot, who owned the store.

"I do, but I work here too some nights. I also help out at the community center. They told me that you were donating a new stove and fridge, everyone's really excited," he told me with a smile.

"Wow, that must keep you busy, three jobs."

"Yeah, I like keeping busy though," he said happily, lifting the last box of tiles onto the truck bed. He wiped away the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead with the back of his sleeve, then two men came out carrying my counter top. Man, it looked beautiful. They got everything loaded up, then I thanked David again and hopped into the truck.

"A friend of yours?" Esme asked curiously as he waved.

"His Mom owns the gift shop in the hospital, I've just seen him a lot there. Seems like a nice guy," I said absently, backing out carefully then pulling onto the road. I saw her nod in my peripherals.

She wouldn't let me help unload anything, and I took a little longer in the washroom to make it easier on her. Sure enough, after four minutes, she had all the materials stacked inside and was just carrying in the last piece for my island.

"Esme, I don't know how to thank you. I am so grateful for all of your help," I told her honestly.

"Well, there's one thing you could do for me," she said with a smile.

"What? Name anything, and I'll do it."

"You could let me help," she said excitedly. I laughed.

"Are you sure that you want to? You've already helped so much, I'd just feel too guilty asking more from you."

"Isabella dear, this is my passion. It would be like taking a child to Disney world if you let me help." I couldn't refuse the pleading look in her eyes.

"Okay, well I'm starting bright and early in the morning. Pop over anytime you'd like." I had really wanted to do it on my own, but she was an expert and I knew I could use her help. Besides, I had many other projects that I wanted to do, this one would be the hardest and I could share it.

I hopped into the shower once she pulled away, then got to cleaning my gutted kitchen as best as I could. I made myself a sandwich, and sat out on my front porch to watch the water while I ate. Half way through it, I got that eerie feeling feeling again. This was really starting to annoy me, and I wouldn't let him keep lurking around my house.

"Come out Edward," I said evenly. It was a minute before he decided to come out from the trees, but I appreciated that he didn't flee like a coward.

"How did you know I was there?"

I ignored his question. "If you want to hang out, call or knock on the door. I don't want you sneaking around my house anymore, it really bothers me."

He had the decency to look guilty and embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I just worry about you being out here by yourself."

"Thank you, but I don't need you to protect me. I'm not your concern."

"What if I want you to be?"

I shot him a look. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, never mind. How did you know I was out here?" He asked again. I looked back out to the water as I replied.

"I always know when anyone is out here. I can feel them. It even wakes me up at night."

"Sorry." He sounded genuine, and I could sense his fear of my anger. I sighed.

"It's okay. Just don't do it again, okay?"

"Okay, I won't. I promise." I gave him a small smile, and he relaxed. "May I?" He inquired, gesturing to the spot on the steps next to me.

"Sure."

We sat and talked for a while, but I wasn't ready to invite him inside after catching him tonight. I tried not to show my discomfort, and took out my nervous energy on twisting my ring around my finger. He noticed though.

"Do you miss him?" The question caught me off guard, and I looked down at the small diamond on my left hand.

"Yes," I whispered quietly. The word was an understatement. When I remembered the feeling of his skin against mine, I could barely breathe.

"Do you still love him?"

"More than anything in the universe." Edward nodded sadly, and I excused myself to go to bed. I waited for a minute inside until I felt that eerie feeling dissipate.

"_What if I want you to be?"_ What the hell was that supposed to mean? I sighed angrily, and plopped down on my air mattress.

**. . . . .**

It was amazing how quickly my kitchen came together. The shelves and cupboards were so easy to install. Esme held them in place for me while I drilled them in, and I was happy that she at least let me handle the power tools, which she had also graciously lent me. We sealed in and hooked up the new sink, and placed down the marble counter tops. The whole thing only took a couple of hours, with Esme's perfect eye sight we didn't even need to use a level. She had brought her own tile cutter over with her, and once we had plastered in the backsplash, she showed me how to lay tiles properly. I had already read how to do it in a book, but I learned much better while actually doing things myself. We were finished by the early afternoon, but she told me not to walk on the tiles for about two days, or I could risk cracking them.

"Wow, this looks good," I said proudly. "Thanks Esme, you're a godsend."

"Thanks for letting me help sweetie, this was fun." She gave me a tight hug, and I walked her out to her truck before she left. I went back inside, and surveyed my work.

My happiness dissolved in the silence in about a minute and a half, and the dark cloud started to roll back in. No, I couldn't just stand here and do nothing. My walls need to be painted, I'll need to get a step ladder to reach the top. I have to pick up a new trim, and then my flooring for the living room, my bedroom and the study…

The crappy phone that was sitting on my floor rang, and I dashed over to it gratefully. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabella!"

"Hey Alice!" I said happily. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just got back from lunch with Jasper, and thought I'd see what you were up to."

"Well, I was just about to go out and pick up some paint, feel like tagging along? I could use your opinion on colors."

"Sure! I'll be there soon." She hesitated for a moment. "Would you mind if Edward came along?"

Well, at least he's trying to be normal. "Not at all. I'm just going to hop in the shower and get all of this dust off of me. If I don't answer just come on in."

"Okay, see you soon!"

I felt them arrive and heard them come inside just as I was slipping into my clothes. I put on a nice black pair of pants and a grey silk top, knowing that it always made Alice happier when I didn't dress in denim. I twisted my wet hair into a bun, and slipped on my nice black boots before going out. "Okay, ready," I said, slipping on my coat. Edward gave me an odd look, but Alice was her normal self. "Oh that top looks so nice on you! I told you it was a good choice. Your kitchen looks amazing by the way, you guys did a really great job. Esme says you have a bit of a knack for the designing stuff, you better watch out though because she might try to steal your projects away from you. You know she loves-"

I linked my arm through hers and turned her towards the door. "Calm down Alice, I can barely understand you when you talk that fast," I said with a laugh. "Hey Edward."

"Hey. The kitchen does look great."

"Thanks," I ushered them outside, locking my door behind me. "So, I was thinking of maybe a sky blue for the living room, it would really-" I gasped, then danced over to her excitedly, forgetting whatever I had been talking about. "Hey there beautiful, I missed you," I whispered happily, trailing a light finger over the hood. Edward laughed at me, and the act seemed to relax his face slightly.

"Want to take her for a spin?"

My eyes went wide, and I didn't hesitate as I ran over and gave him a hug before swiping the keys from his hand. He just stood there, seemingly frozen. Alice and I hopped into the car. God, the inside was so sleek and beautiful. "I'm grateful Edward, but if you don't hurry up I swear I will drive away without you!" He laughed again, and ran over to join us, sliding into the back seat. I almost purred when I started her up, and felt a shiver go down my spine. Very carefully, as to not spray any gravel and chip the paint, I backed out of my driveway. I caught a look from Edward in the rear view mirror, and gave him an enormous smile as I peeled down the street.

It was like she was an extension of my body; her reactions were so immediate and fluid. She was quiet and deadly, like a silver panther flying down the roads. My laughter filed the car as I took the winding turns, and I caught sight of the time on the lit-up display on the dash. I had less than two hours before the community center was going to send someone over for the appliances. With a sad sigh, I spun out and did a one-eighty just like Jacob had taught me in the Rabbit, and shot off in the opposite direction. We got to the store way too soon. I got out of the car once I parked, and dejectedly handed Edward back his keys. He was watching me with an amused smile.

"I seriously thought you were going to kill us a few times, but you handle her like a pro," he said.

"Thanks," I replied happily. "She's amazing, it was like-" I had turned around and started walking and my foot caught on absolutely nothing, sending me towards the pavement. I shut my eyes and braced myself for the impact, but instead two solid stone arms wrapped around my waist. I opened my eyes, and Edward was holding me against his body. It almost felt like he was dipping me in a dance, but his face was much, much too close to mine. That hungry look in his eyes made my stomach twist, and I pushed my hands lightly against his chest. He composed himself immediately, standing me back up on my feet and taking a deliberate step back. "T-thank you," I stammered awkwardly, smoothing out my shirt.

"Don't worry about it," he said smoothly, his voice sounding thick. He gave me one of his crooked smiles. "You're much better at driving then you are at walking."

"Hah, funny," I said sarcastically, but I was smiling. I looked over at Alice who had a mischievous smile on her face, and chose to ignore it as I looped my arm through hers and led the way into the store. Alice liked my idea of painting the living room pale baby blue, and I picked out a light lavender color for my bedroom. Edward was chivalrous enough to carry the two cans to his car, and I called shotgun before Alice could.

The drive was short, since I only lived a five minute drive away from the main part of town, and I invited them inside while Edward carried my paint. I dumped the rest of my painting supplies down by the door next to the rest of my tiles. "It seems that you have a lot left over," Edward pointed out when I gestured for him to put them in the same spot. I was trying to keep my chaos organized in one spot.

"Yeah, I still need to do my bathroom and the front foyer. I wanted them all to match," I explained. I felt bad not being able to offer them a place to sit down or something to drink, the thought made me shudder slightly. Wait, I shouldn't _know_ that they'd refuse. Damn it. "Can I get you guys something to drink? Sorry that I don't have a couch or anything…"

"We're fine," Alice said happily, and I relaxed slightly. "So what will you be doing next?" I took a quick peek at Edward, and he was casually leaning against the wall, watching me with a small smile. "Well, I can't move the stuff out of my room until the tiles are dry, so I'm going to start painting until then. Then it will be the rest of the tiling, then the floors-" I caught Edward give an irritated look, then heard the crunch of gravel as someone pulled up the drive. I took a quick peek at my watch.

"Were you expecting someone?" Edward asked with a forced casual tone.

"Sorry, those must be the guys from the community center. They're early." I walked over to the door and opened it just before he knocked. "Oh, hey."

"Hey Isabella. Wow, you look gorgeous."

"Um, thanks David," I said uncomfortably, and waved him and the other man inside. "They're just over here, come on in. Don't bother taking your boots off."

"Doing a bit of renovating?" He asked with a smile.

"Yeah, just a bit." He stopped when he noticed my company. "Oh, sorry. Alice, Edward, this is David. He works at the community center, just picking up my old fridge and stove."

"Hey Doctor Masen," he said uncomfortably. Edward hadn't moved from his casual stance of leaning against the wall, and just gave him a small nod. _Awkward_.

"So yeah, they're right there," I said, pulling his attention back to the task at hand, and pointing the two inside my bedroom. "Just take them out through the bathroom though if you don't mind. My tiles are still drying."

"No problem." They took out the fridge first, then the stove, and they were loaded onto his truck in fifteen minutes. "Thanks again Isabella, I'll see you around," he said, and I gave them a small wave before closing my door.

Alice and Edward stuck around for a while, but when I offered for them to stay for dinner the two of them said they needed to head back. I thanked them again for their help and the amazing drive, and went back inside.

**. . . . .**

I really liked my job. Despite Kat saying that there was a lot of down time, the days always flew by. I loved organizing things, and I stumbled across so many interesting books. As long as I was inside of the building for my shifts for the few people that wanted to check-out or return books, she really didn't care what I did. I kept everything neat and tidy, and spent all of my free time reading. I got all of my painting done during my evenings, and now had full use of my beautiful kitchen. Alice came by a couple of times during the week, but I had told her that I was going to be busy this weekend.

I woke up to my quiet house early in the morning, but couldn't make myself get out of bed until noon. I just stared at the calendar. From what I knew, this would have been the weekend that I was supposed to have my baby. I just wanted to be alone, and not have to try so hard to act in front of company. Eventually, I couldn't take the silence anymore, and made myself get up.

I blasted my radio until I couldn't hear myself think anymore, and took a long bubble bath. Even holding my breath under the warm water I could still hear the music. I wasn't planning on going out, so I put on a pair of oyster-grey silk pyjama shorts and a baggy black t-shirt. I wrapped my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head, and started ripping out the tiles in my bathroom.

It was the newest room in the house, the last owners had just replaced everything. I adored the claw-footed bath tub, and the vanity counter around the sink and the toilet was brand new. I just didn't like the color of the tiles, and wanted them to match the sand colored tiles in my kitchen. The sun was already down by the time I finished, and I started bagging up my garbage and carrying it out to the end of the road.

I was just bringing out the last bag when I heard the crunch of gravel under his feet. It was dark, so it took me a minute to recognize his face.

"Oh, hey David."

"Hey, what're you up to?" He gave me his gentle smile as he stopped, putting his hands into his pockets.

"Just taking out some trash." Obviously. "What are you doing walking around in the dark?"

"Oh, I just live down the street, heading home from a buddy's place." Hmm, he didn't mention that last weekend. He stood there quietly for a moment, watching me with a friendly smile.

"Oh, umm… would you like to come in for a glass of water or something?" I didn't know what else to say, and just wanted to break the awkward silence. It sounded kind of rude in my head to just say bye and turn around.

"Sure, thanks," he said, and I awkwardly led him inside.

"Sorry about the mess, I have some chairs in the kitchen," I said apologetically. I led him over to the silver stools that I had picked up to go on the other side of my island.

"Wow, you're kitchen really turned out great. You do this all yourself?" He took a seat, and I poured us both a glass of orange juice, dropping in a few ice cubes.

"No, I had a lot of help from Esme. She's amazing at this sort of stuff." I sat down with him, keeping one stool in between us.

"So I figured, she's one of Jim's best customers. How do you know her?"

"Her husband was my doctor, I hang out with their family a lot."

We talked for a little while, and I became a bit more comfortable around him. He seemed like a really sweet guy, did a lot of volunteer hours, helped out his mother a lot. He was really polite. He noticed my ring, and asked if I was married. I didn't want to lead him on to think I was available, so I just told him I was. It was obvious that I was here alone though. Luckily he didn't pry.

I excused myself to use the washroom, and as soon as I came back he started asking me questions about my work. He thought it sounded pretty boring.

"Not at all," I told him. My eye lids felt a little heavy, but it was still pretty early in the evening. I shook my head to wake myself up. "I love reading, and its pretty cool… umm… getting too…re-" I just seemed to lose my balance, and the room spun around me before I fell off of my stool.

He _laughed_, and I heard him walk away, and the audible 'click' as he locked my front door. Why would he laugh? Why wasn't he helping me up? I tried to push myself up, but my arms felt like rubber, and they weren't moving properly.

He came back over, and stood over me. That's when I saw the _look_. I hadn't thought about George in almost a year, but the image of him was bright in my mind now. I had seen that look on him many times. He leaned forward and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. Adrenaline and fear shot through me.

"N-no!" I managed to sputter out. My fists seemed to do nothing to him, but by flailing my legs I managed to get in a good kick or two. He grunted, and threw me down on my air mattress. My vision was blurry, made worse by the tears that were streaming down my face. I tried to roll away, but couldn't even move my arms any more. They were lifeless beside me.

"Don't worry, you won't remember a thing in the morning." My cries were silent as he pulled off my shirt, but I somehow managed to spit in his face. He scowled at me, and struck me across the face with the back of his hand. I didn't even feel it. He started to pull off my shorts. I wanted to fight, to pick up my crow bar that was leaning against my wall and beat the shit out of him, but I couldn't. I felt so useless… I withdrew into myself, and closed my eyes tightly.

I heard a crashing sound, but it seemed so far away. I dared to open my eyes for a moment, and David was gone. I saw Alice throw a blanket over me, and when she pulled me into her arms I caught a quick glance of Edward holding David off of the ground by his throat against my wall before everything went black.

**. . . . .**

I woke up with a pounding headache, and it was only a moment before I remembered what had happened.

He lied, I remembered everything.

I sat up quickly, clutching my blanket to myself. It was my quilt, but I was not in my room. And this wasn't my shirt. There was a stinging in my elbow as I sat up, and I realized that there was an IV in my arm.

"Isabella? You're okay. You're in my room," Alice said gently. I flinched away from her when she reached out for me, but I leaned forward and hugged her tightly once I realized it was her.

"Thank you Alice," I whispered, shaking. She held me tightly.

"Do you remember what happened?"

I nodded against her shoulder. "Did… did he?"

"No, he didn't. We got there in time. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, we were so far away-"

"It's okay, thank you Alice."

"You had a bad reaction to whatever that creep gave you, you kind of had a seizure while you were out. I hope you don't mind but Carlisle gave you some medicine and an IV to help counteract it." I leaned away and looked up at her, her face was so worried. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I said immediately. I didn't even want to think about it.

"You won't ever have to worry about him again. He won't even dare step foot in the province again."

"Did Edward hurt him?" She looked at me curiously for a moment, then gave me a small smile as she nodded. "Good."

She let me use her shower, I felt dirty, like I could still feel his hands on me. I scrubbed hard underneath the scolding water until my skin was red and stinging, and Alice lent me a pair of jeans and a large black t-shirt. I winced when I looked in the mirror. I had a black eye, and my lip was swollen and cracked. I doubted Alice would mind, so I dipped into her ridiculous supply of make-up and did my best to cover it up. She was waiting for me on her bed.

"Can you take me home?" I asked quietly.

"Of course," she said, and led me downstairs into the garage. We passed Esme, Rosalie and Emmett on the way down. They said hello, but I couldn't even bring myself to look at them, and just gave them a little wave. I barely noticed the road as she drove me home.

Edward was there though, installing a new door. That's what the crashing sound must have been. He stopped when we pulled up, and had an angry expression on his face when he looked at me.

"Sorry," I said automatically, and his face turned to one of confusion. He jumped down the stairs and ran to my side quickly.

"What are you apologizing for Isabella? You didn't do anything wrong."

"You just… looked mad and-"

My words were cut short when he reached for my face. I didn't flinch away from him, the vampire that saved me, as he ran a thumb delicately over my bruised eye. "I'm not mad at you, I'm furious at what was done _to_ you," he said gently.

"Thank you," I whispered, looking into his eyes. He smiled gently, and wrapped his arms around me. I gave him a light squeeze back.

He let me go, and I admired his handiwork. "Wow, thanks for the beautiful new door," I said, forcing a happy tone into my voice. It really was nice, pristine white, with beautiful floral designs frosted into the glass.

"You were checking it out at the store the other day, it seemed liked you liked it."

"Thank you."

"I'll be done in a minute, just installing a new lock." I nodded and Alice led me inside. She watched me carefully as I walked into my kitchen, grabbed a butcher's knife, and walked into my bedroom. I stabbed the air mattress, and watched it deflate slowly. Once it was flat, I crumpled it up and stuffed it into a garbage bag. I was going to need to pick up some more of those. I found Alice and Edward watching me worriedly. I smiled. "Sorry about that, but I feel much better now," I said with a weak smile. They smiled back.

"Feel like going shopping for a real bed?" Alice asked hopefully. I shook my head.

"Sorry, I don't really feel like shopping today."

"That's okay, want to crash at my house tonight? I don't want you sleeping on the floor." The thought of going back to her place, I was sure that they all knew what happened, made me feel ill. I didn't want all of their pitying looks. I shook my head, and Edward seemed to understand.

"I have a spare room at my place if you want. I wouldn't mind at all." I thought about the offer for a moment. Yes, he had been kind of stalking my house for a while, but it was more like he had been checking up on me, not watching me. He had been trying to look out for me, and when I told him to stop this happened. Alice would have stopped me if she didn't think I was safe with her uncle.

"Okay, thanks. I think I'm just going to hang out here for today and put down some flooring though."

"Want help?" He asked excitedly.

"Sure."

Alice floated around while we worked quietly, but it was obvious that she didn't find us entertaining. She left after a little while, giving me a long, tight hug and saying that she would call me tomorrow. Edward didn't seem to mind my lack of conversation, and just handed me tile after tile, his small smile switching to a look of frustration every once in a while. It was obvious that he was lost in his own thoughts as well. We finished with the tiles, and started on the hardwood in my bedroom. I really enjoyed using the nail gun, and was able to take out a little more of my anger.

It got late, so I packed up a few things before walking out with Edward and locking my pretty new door. "Should I follow you in my truck?"

"I have a few days off, I can just drop you off at work tomorrow."

I laughed. "Since when do you take vacations?" I asked teasingly. He rolled his eyes, then held the door open for me. I smiled and got in. I sat quietly in the car while he drove, not really paying attention to where he was going, just watching the trees flash by.

"What are you thinking?" His voice caught me by surprise, and when I looked over I realized that he was watching me with that frustrated look again.

"That's not the first time you've asked me that question," I pointed out.

"This isn't the first time you've avoided answering it either," he said with a smile. "So?"

"If it hadn't been for the accident, I would probably be having my baby soon." God, why was I once again spilling to him?

"I'm really sorry Isabella."

"It's okay." I went back to looking out of the window, and he was silent again.

His house was much more reasonable looking than Alice's. A small two story, all white with grey shutters and a blue door. He gestured for me to walk in ahead of him once he opened the door. It was very white. Soft white carpet, white walls. A very large living room with walls covered in cluttered book shelves. My attention was drawn to the shiny black piano in the corner of the room.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Umm, sure." I followed him curiously to his kitchen, and leaned against his counter as I watched him cut up some vegetables for a salad. It was obvious that he had no idea what he was doing, but he was trying so hard that I didn't want to ruin it for him. He didn't use any lettuce, but cut up a pepper, a cucumber, some carrots and celery and an apple and mixed it together. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from laughing. He made two plates, and we sat down together at his small table. I watched with a small smile as he took the first bite. He looked like he was going to be sick. I shook my head, and started eating. It was the thought that counted, and I thought his effort was really sweet.

"You have a very beautiful home. It's very… clean."

"Hah, I know it's a lot of white. I'm not really into the home-decorating thing though. This seemed easiest."

"No, I mean it, it's really nice. Your piano is beautiful."

"Thank you." He gave me another smile, which was darkened by his attempt at eating food. I didn't want him to suffer on my part anymore.

"Do you think you could play me a song?"

"Sure," he said in relief, and I followed him over to it. He patted the spot beside him on the bench, and I only hesitated for a few seconds before sitting down.

I had never heard anything so beautiful. Of course no human would have been able to play like this though. He barely looked at the keys as his agile fingers flew back and forth across them. He seemed to get lost in the music himself, he closed his eyes as a small smile played on his lips, and it didn't affect his technique in the slightest. It was enchanting to watch. The notes lowered and slowed until they finally came to an end. He opened his eyes, and caught me watching him.

"That was amazing, I don't think I've ever heard that song before."

"Probably not. I wrote it."

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. He showed me up to his guest room then, which had its own private bathroom. "Thank you again Edward."

"No problem. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Not just for letting me crash here. Thanks for…"

"I know Isabella. Don't worry about it." With a smile, he closed the door behind him. I got changed into my pyjamas and put in my mouth guard before crawling into the soft bed, just in case. It was hard falling asleep with that weird feeling that I always had when I could feel someone nearby, but after a little while I could hear him playing quietly on his piano again, and it helped me drift off to sleep.

**. . . . .**

I ended up staying with him for the week. He was a very good host, giving me lots of privacy, and insisting that I stayed until I got my bedroom finished and bought a proper bed. I really didn't have the time to go shopping during the week, and to be honest, I just wasn't ready to be alone in my home again yet. I didn't mind it here, and I found that I had gotten over my grudge of him visiting my back yard and his rudeness and socially awkward behaviour when I first met him. He had so many interesting books, and we got drawn into long conversations about different ones every night. I would usually go home after work for an hour or two, work on the floors for a bit, then go back to his place. Even when he started working again on Thursday. Alice joined us for a couple of hours almost every night also, and didn't seem to mind me spending so much time with her uncle.

"Is it weird, calling him your uncle?" I asked one day as she was picking me up from work. "I mean, he's only like three years older than you right?" As far as I knew anyways. She could very well be hundreds of years old than he was, but there was no way for me to find out. But Alice told me she was nineteen, and that her uncle was twenty-two.

"A little. I've always seen him as more of a brother. Our family is so weird though, you kind of just learn to roll with it."

Yeah, a bet weird was an understatement. "So I finished the flooring in my room yesterday, wanna come with while I go pick out some furniture tomorrow?"

"Of course, I know the perfect place to go."

It was weird how comfortable I was in his house. We had hung out for a little while at my place before I dropped him off at work. The floor in my room looked perfect, and we had spent the last hour and a half painting the trim and listening to the radio. The one station I got in town was entertaining to listen to, the songs went from classic rock, to biblical then hip hop, and country and classical. You just never knew what you were going to get and the drastic changes were really funny sometimes.

He had started giving me a couple piano lessons, and after putting on a comfy pair of pyjama pants and a comfortable t-shirt I settled on the smooth bench and practiced the notes that I knew. I was always inspired by the memories of the art he was able to create on this piano. Before I closed the cover over the keys, I smiled as I played chopsticks. Alice had taught me that one. I fell asleep on his couch reading one of his poetry books.

**. . . . .**

After picking him up at work the next day, he dropped me off over at my place. I had my packed bag in the back seat.

"You know you can stay at my place longer if you want. I don't mind at all, the company's nice."

"Thanks Edward, but I'll be fine." I rested a gentle hand on his arm. His face looked worried, and instead of feeling annoyed I was touched. I gave him a reassuring smile. "Thank you so much for having me so long, and for all of your help. I'm really grateful."

He gave me a sad smile. "We still on for piano lessons?"

"Of course, what days do you have off this week?"

"I'm off tomorrow, can I give you a call?"

"Sure. Oh!" I dug into my pocket for his key, and handed it to him. "You'll probably need this." He shook his head.

"I have another copy on me, hold onto it. Just in case."

I looked at him in surprise. "Edward, I really couldn't-"

"Please? It will make me feel better knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you don't feel safe. It'll also make it easier to not sneak by in the woods to check on you," he said teasingly with his crooked smile.

"Thank you Edward." I opened up my door, and he handed me my bag. "Bye." I walked up the steps of my front porch as he pulled away. He hesitated a little longer than usual before driving off. I barely had enough time to put my things away before Alice came in. I leaned out of my bedroom door to smile at her, and waved her over. She inspected my outfit carefully, and gave me her nod of approval.

"So, I'm going to put a bed here, then a night stand on that side. And I want a dresser for here. I also need curtains, bed sheet sets and a comforter."

"Excellent," she said, and I saw her go deep into thought for a short moment. "Okay, we'll definitely need to take the truck. I really like how this room turned out by the way, the lavender with the pale wood. Very nice."

"Thank you, I really like it too." It reminded me of the color of clouds at sunset over a sandy beach.

We drove all the way down to Fredericton to go to her recommended store. I trusted her confidence that I would find everything that I wanted there. She knew where she was going so I let her drive, and enjoyed the scenery on the cloudy day. The weather was starting to warm up, and all the snow was almost gone. I couldn't wait for the green to come back, I missed it so much.

It was a super busy afternoon, even though we only went to two different stores. First we went to this giant furniture outlet store. I got a beautiful bedroom set, and I even picked up a couch and chair that I fell in love with, along with a coffee table. The later wouldn't be dropped off until the end of the week, but they had my bedroom things in stock and loaded them into my truck and tied them down for us. I'm pretty sure they would have jumped off the roof if Alice asked them to.

Next we went to an outlet store, where I was able to pick some nice sheet sets, some pillows and throws, a comforter and some curtains. By the time we got home and carried in all of the boxes and my mattress, it was almost seven and my stomach was growling. Alice had to head home, she was supposed to help Esme with something, but I assured her that I would be fine assembling my things myself. After eating almost an entire box of macaroni and cheese I got back to work. It took a couple of hours, but before my watch struck midnight I had assembled my bed frame, my night stand and my dresser. I had to take a shower to keep myself up long enough to put a set of sheets on my bed, but once I did I practically collapsed onto the comfy mattress, and slept like the dead.

**. . . . .**

I barely recognized where I was when I woke up. The room was completely different furnished. It felt nice to wake up, use my own bathroom, and go back into my beautiful room and make my bed. After that was done, I set up my curtains and then put my clothes away in my dresser. I tucked away my old suitcase of clothes in the corner of my closet. I put my important things inside my night stand, I had chosen it because it had a locking drawer, my pictures and Jacob's tin, my mother's jewelry and my envelope of paper work, and tucked the key in between my mattress and box spring. After having an early lunch, I went back to working on the floors in my living room until Edward called.

Somehow, life just managed to go on. My heart ache never really went away, but I was starting to get used to living with it.

**Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Surprise

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**There's some back and forth in here, but it's a damn long chapter. What's the difference between posting a bunch of small chapters and sticking them into one? Less pages to load, that's what.**

**Chapter Fifteen :: Surprise**

**Isabella**

My busy schedule made time seem to fly by. There were too many yet not enough minutes in the day. In no time at all it seemed summer was upon us. Luckily it was warm enough to work outside now that I had finished my indoor projects.

The lawn had been nothing but weeds, and I had gotten blisters on my hands from tearing it all up. My new grass was coming in nicely though, and had that almost fluorescent glow of new life to it. The flower beds had needed a lot of work, there had been more weeds that actual flowers in them, so I had completely torn those up too and was planting a whole bunch of new things in there. I dashed back and forth between my truck bed and the flower beds, slowly transferring everything that I had picked up at the nursery and seeing how quickly I would be able to do it all. It started raining around noon but the cool rain was a nice change from the thick humidity, so I didn't let it stop me.

My weird sixth sense had only seemed to get stronger the more I used it. I could always tell when someone got close to me. It was annoying when I went grocery shopping or when I was in other crowded places, but I always paid close attention when someone crossed onto my property. I felt someone enter my front yard, and un-clipped my Smith and Wesson pistol from its holster on my hip, switching off the safety.

"Don't shoot, I come in peace," Edward said, holding his hands in the air and smiling as he walked around the side of my house. He was carrying a briefcase over his head like an umbrella. I couldn't really tell the difference between a vampire and human when I was just going off of that feeling.

"Oh, hey Edward." I gave him a small smile while switching the safety back on and clipping the band shut over it again. "I only have one left, just give me a second." I ran back over to my truck and grabbed my last Hosta, cutting open the plastic container and breaking up the roots before setting it in the hole I had made for it. He waited patiently as I packed in the dirt around it, and brushed away the wet hair sticking to my face with the back of my arm.

"Isabella, you are soaking wet," he pointed out unnecessarily. I could feel my muddy clothes sticking to me, and I hated the tight feeling. It made me feel like someone would be able to see the rise of my scar against the clinging material, and I invited him inside while I went to get changed quickly. He made himself comfortable on my big red sectional couch while I went into my room to get changed. I toweled off in my bathroom, then put on a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt before slipping my ring back onto my finger as I walked over to him with a tall glass of ice water. I hadn't wanted to risk getting it covered in mud or losing it in the dirt somehow. I sat down and cringed when I took a closer look at my legs. I should have put on a pair of jeans, my legs were covered in dark purple bruises. Just the usual ones from banging into things. I caught him eyeing them with a pained expression, and folded them underneath me to put them out of his view. I shifted in my seat, trying to make myself comfortable. My back was a little sore from carrying plants and digging holes all day.

"You never stop moving, do you? I don't think I've ever just seen you sit down and relax before."

"Isn't that what we're doing now?" I asked with a smile.

"Nope, this doesn't count. You're probably just sitting here to be polite anyways." He was right, I wanted to go back outside and play in my dirt. Plus I still needed to fill the bird feeders and I would have to wait until it was dry out to stain the patio, but I could replace the wobbly railing for now… "See? I can see your head is still spinning a mile a minute. When was the last time you just did something for fun?"

"I do find this sort of thing fun," I said defensively, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "What? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to go shopping or bake cookies every weekend. I'd much rather spend my time in my back yard or at the firing range or hiking," I told him angrily.

He held up his hands apologetically, but it always irritated me how my anger would make him smile. Like he thought it was cute. I huffed, and turned on the TV. I'd only gotten it to complete the room, but I didn't mind watching the weather network. Damn, rain all week. I was never going to finish my patio. At least my grass would be happy though.

"Do you believe in God?" He asked randomly. I was used to these sorts of questions from him though, long since abandoning trying to make sense of his scattered train of thought.

"I believe in the possibility of a higher power, but I don't believe in the Catholic version of God. Like in the bible. There are just too many controversies, I think it was used as more of a tool of oppression and control than anything. There's no way to prove it one way or the other, and I think it's an unfortunate waste of the short amount of time we have on this planet to fight over or worry about it."

He nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything. He looked to be having some sort of internal debate with that serious expression on his face and I worried for a moment. Had I somehow managed to offend this vampire's religious beliefs? I tried not to laugh at the idea. "I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to."

"Oh you didn't, I also agree with you, but it's hard to think a certain way sometimes when you've been forced to believe something else for so long. Do you think there is a heaven or a hell?"

I gave him a gentle smile, it was obvious that this was important to him. "I believe that we create our own realities. I like to think that there is something more of a limbo… where our loved ones can wait to see us again, and then maybe choose to be reincarnated. I really like the idea of reincarnation, and I believe that karma would really affect it. Those who do good with their lives will be given more happiness in their next ones, where people who create evil will not be so lucky."

"And what do you consider evil?" Ah, this is what he was working to. I think he really wanted to know if I would consider his kind evil, consider _him_ evil.

My hatred for his kind and my want for revenge never lessened in the slightest. It had been a year since Jacob and Charlie had been taken away from me, and the urge to avenge them had only grown stronger. I knew that I would have to be patient for that though.

But the Cullens, and Edward, I didn't group them with the rest of their kind. They were an exception, nothing like Elijah, and I considered my words carefully.

"Evil is… lacking in compassion. Having no consideration or respect for life. I think as long as you are capable of loving someone without malice, you can't truly be evil." And I knew for certain that he loved his family. Alice, Esme, all of them were filled with so much love for each other. I knew Elijah or any vampire like him would not be capable of that sort of love. Truly, they cared about nothing but their own desires. My words seemed to have the desired impact on Edward, and he gave me a genuinely relieved smile. I looked back at the TV, and realized that it was a quarter to eight. "Aren't you working tonight?"

He cursed under his breath before saying goodbye and hurrying out the door. I got up and made myself some dinner.

As I was sitting on my couch picking at my pasta, I noticed Edward's briefcase resting on the rug underneath my coffee table. He must have forgotten it, which was really uncharacteristic of him. Worried that he might need it for work, I cleaned up my mess then hopped into my truck, setting it on the seat beside me.

It was only a fifteen minute drive, and I tried to protect the soft leather of the case from the rain with my body as I jogged from my truck to the main entrance of the Hospital. The rain just seemed to be coming down harder and harder. Leaving a trail of puddles behind me, I took the familiar elevator up to the second floor and walked down the hall to his office. The door was opened a crack, so I just pushed it open and walked in.

"Hey Edward, you forgot your-" I was surprised by the scene in front of me. He was leaning with his back against the wall, and there was a tall, beautiful nurse with thick red hair leaning against him with her hands on his chest. It was obvious that I had just interrupted, and my face flushed red. "Sorry!" I said with a small smile, before dropping the briefcase and closing the door quickly. Completely embarrassed, I ran back to the elevator, pressing the button to close the door as soon as I was inside_. I should have knocked_, I thought with a mental laugh and shook my head.

I walked outside into the rain again, and it was only seconds before I heard him calling my name. He quickly caught up to me as I reached my truck. "Isabella, I'm sorry, that wasn't what it looked like at all. There's nothing-"

"It's okay Edward, you don't have to explain anything to me. Your personal life is your own business. Sorry for interrupting though," I told him with an embarrassed smile.

I was quickly getting soaked again as I tried to decipher his expression. He looked… worried almost? I saw the expression change to a more determined one. "Isabella, there is nothing going on between her and I, or with anyone else for that matter. There's only one woman I care about." He took a step closer, and I took a moment too long to figure out what he meant. Before I could say anything, he leaned forward quickly, taking my face in both of his hands and kissed me.

I was filled with that electric current feeling that I had whenever he touched me. It felt wrong though. Jacob had kissed me like this so many times, but these weren't his warm, soft lips. These lips were hard as stone and cold as ice. I felt the tears pool in my eyes immediately, and he slowly pulled away when I shoved as hard as I could against his chest. He had the happiest smile on his face, until he took in my horrified expression.

He didn't move as I struck out and slapped him across the face. I know it hurt me more than him, but I didn't care. He was rooted, frozen in place as I jumped into my truck, slammed the door and took off as quickly as it would allow me.

I got home quickly, but heard his car pull up as soon as I made it onto my porch. I didn't look at him.

"Isabella! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I slammed my front door shut, and heard him running across the gravel. "Please! Let's talk about this."

"Go away Edward!" I shouted from inside. The tears were still flowing down my face. _I'm sorry Jacob, I didn't want to I swear, it didn't mean anything…_ He didn't listen to me, and was still calling me from my drive way. Enraged, I grabbed my pistol and ran to my front door.

He was staring at me with his own horrified look once I opened the door, standing at the bottom of my stairs. "Leave. Now," I warned in a dark voice.

"Please, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have, now get off of my property." I raised the gun, switching off the safety and pointing it at him. I didn't know if a gun could hurt a vampire or not, but I was very open to finding out. He must have thought I was bluffing, because he took one step up onto my stairs. Furious, I expertly pointed my pistol at the ground and blew a hole in my step one inch away from his foot, and he jumped backwards. "I didn't hit you on purpose, but if you don't leave now I guarantee I won't miss."

He gave me one long, pained look, but once I cocked another bullet into the barrel, he walked over to his car and drove away. Shaking, I went inside, stripped off my wet clothes and cried underneath the warm stream of water in my shower. I could still feel the electric tingle of his lips against mine.

**. . . . .**

_I was sitting on the beach with Jacob, his warm arms wrapped around me tightly as we watched the waves crash against the shore. I knew it wasn't real, but these were the happiest moments of my life now. These fleeting memories that my subconscious tortured me with in my dreams._

"_I miss you so much Jacob. I don't ever want to wake up again."_

"_I know babe. But you're going to have to. You need to keep living your life."_

"_It's not much of a life without you."_

_He leaned forward and kissed me gently, and I held onto him tightly. "It's because you're not really living. You're just pretending, going through the motions without actually feeling them."_

"_I don't know what else to do Jake. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am."_

"_I know you are Belle, but life isn't life without love."_

_I held onto him even tighter, as tightly as I possibly could, but I could barely feel him now. _No, I don't want to wake up, just a little bit longer, please…_ "You took my love with you when you left me in Emily's door way, and you know it."_

"_You can love again Belle. It's okay to be happy. Please, be happy, please. I can't keep watching you suffer like this…"_

I opened my eyes, and felt the familiar pain of not having him there beside me. My mind fought with itself, wanting to wish that I was actually talking to him somehow, but I was convinced it was something I had made up. I looked over and saw my pistol sitting on my nightstand, and couldn't really bring myself to feel guilty for my reaction last night.

I cared about Edward, I did, he was a good friend, but what he did... I wasn't ready for that, I don't I would ever be ready for something like that again. I didn't _want_ it, and it wasn't right for him to surprise me like that. Even if he didn't know who Jacob was, he knew that I still loved him. What he did hadn't been fair. He was thinking of himself, not of me.

But we had become such close friends, and when I thought of ending that friendship it made me sad. I had never met someone who I had so many common interests with. He had done so much to help me, and I spent almost as much time with him as I did with Alice. All of our late nights of playing chess, our piano lessons or just talking about random interesting articles that I would find while thumbing through books at work.

No, I didn't want to stop being his friend. He had apologized, many times actually, and I knew that he felt bad about what he had done.

With a sigh, I made myself get out of bed. My hair looked absolutely ridiculous, so I just put it into a messy bun before sliding on a pair of jeans and throwing on a random shirt. I grabbed my purse then drove over to his house, making it there a couple minutes before his night shift had even ended. I used the half-hour wait to carefully choose my words.

He seemed genuinely surprised to find me there waiting for him, and approached me cautiously. He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to signal for him to be quiet.

"First, I'm sorry for shooting at you. That may have been a bit of an over-reaction. I'm mad at what you did, and thought it was very selfish of you to do it. But I value our friendship, and am willing to forgive you and put last night behind us if you promise not to do anything like that without my permission again." I hadn't meant to add in that part- "without my permission-"but it just came out. He seemed to catch onto that too, but I decided that it didn't matter. The message was still the same.

"I promise." His voice was completely sincere, that pained and ashamed look clear in his eyes.

"Okay then. I'll see you on Tuesday for our piano lesson." I walked past him, got in my truck, and drove away. I felt his eyes watching me the entire time, but I still needed a bit of time to cool off. I spent most of the afternoon at the firing range, and took out most of my anger on the paper targets.

**. . . . .**

The summer came and passed too quickly. I had painted the outside of my house, a beautiful bright red with white trim. I spent a lot of time hiking, there were lots of trails around where I lived. I couldn't carry a canoe by myself, but I could manage a kayak and spent a lot of time on the water. I tried camping once, but it was too quiet and still sitting in the woods in front of a fire by myself. I had even gone bungee jumping, sanded and stained my front and back patios, and countless other small things on my lists in my notebook. They weren't very satisfying though, doing all of them alone. I was happier spending time with Alice and my other vampire friends. Emmett and Esme had even helped me build a garage, and I had my gravel driveway paved.

Rose had helped me pick up the proper materials to reupholster the inside of my truck, and the pretty black leather had inspired me to work on the body. As I sat in my pretty new garage stripping the paint off of my truck, my mind once again drifted to Edward.

Ever since that kiss, the little things he did seemed to have more meaning. The way he always rushed to open doors for me, the way he paid such close attention to my words, the way I would catch him watching me with an almost dazed, happy smile sometimes. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before, but it was obvious now how he felt about me.

And if I was being honest with myself, I knew that a part of me cared about him too. It made it hard to be around him sometimes, because those thoughts were always followed by guilt. I felt like I was betraying Jacob even thinking about it. I missed Edward when I wasn't with him though, and when I was in his company it was a little easier to be distracted from those sad emotions. He had never kissed me again after that one time, although I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to. I tried to ignore the similar thoughts that I had, the strange exciting feeling of that electricity that had flowed between us. I felt it every time we accidentally touched, or reached for something at the same time, or when he handed me something and his fingers lightly brushed mine. He kept his promise though, and never forced himself like that again.

I had planned on completely ignoring my birthday this year, I didn't really see the point in celebrating it. The fact that I was nineteen didn't mean much to me. I had spent the morning cleaning my house, and was playing with the thought of going to a bar and having a drink for the first time since I was now the legal age here. I took a long shower, blow-dried my hair, carefully making it straight, soft and shiny, and even put on the pretty lavender dress I had picked up with Alice a few weeks ago. It had short sleeves, with a wide neck and went down to my knees. I grabbed my purse, slipped on some black flats, and paused with my hand on the door knob.

The memory of David popped into my mind, slipping those drugs into my drink the moment I had left it unattended. With a sigh, I kicked my shoes back off and dropped down on my couch. No, there was no way I could bring myself to go to a bar alone; it just seemed to be asking for trouble.

I was silently staring at my ceiling for less than a minute before my phone rang. I hopped up excitedly, and ran over to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabella! What are you up to?"

"Absolutely nothing Alice. Why? What's up?"

"Nothing really, I was thinking of re-organizing my closet and thought I'd see if you were free to help?"

"Sure, I can head over in a couple minutes if you want?"

"That would be great! See you soon!" She hung up, and I debated getting changed into something more casual. I decided not to, Alice would be happy to see me wearing this. I slid my shoes back on and hopped into my truck. The bright candy-apple red was gorgeous, and my pretty classical truck always seemed to draw a few looks as I drove through town.

I hadn't been down to her house in a few weeks, and wondered if they had recently held a garden party. The trees down their long drive were wrapped in small, twinkling white lights making it easier to spot their hidden pathway. They were really pretty, standing out brilliantly as the sun had started to go down. I wondered why they still had them lit up, it seemed like a bit of a waste of electricity.

When I pulled up to the front of their house and parked, I noticed that their front porch was decorated in much the same way, but there were beautiful bunches of flowers in vases going up the stairs. It must have been a beautiful party, and I wondered why they hadn't mentioned it to me. Maybe it was just a vampire thing, no humans allowed…

The front door was left open, so I just walked inside. I had never seen their house so dark before, it was odd and a little creepy, and I hesitantly closed the door behind me. "Hello? Alice?" I asked cautiously.

All of the light's flashed on at once, and I screamed as all seven of them shouted out "Surprise!" I backed up against the door in fear, taking in my surroundings. The entire living room was covered in balloons, streamers and flowers, their big coffee table taken over by a giant cake and a mountain of presents. I sighed, a bit relieved that I wasn't being attacked, and laughed.

"Seriously? You guys scared me half to death," I said with a shaky voice. Alice ran over to give me a hug, pulling me into the living room. "How did you guys know?"

"I'm your Doctor, of course I know when your birthday is," Carlisle said teasingly.

"This is so beautiful, you guys really shouldn't have gone through all of this trouble. I don't even celebrate my birthday."

"You don't celebrate your birthday?" Esme asked, sounding shocked.

I gave her a small smile. "No, haven't since I was maybe seven." They looked worried, and I felt so rude. "This is beautiful though, really. Thank you so much." I tried to give them a happy smile, and they all seemed to relax slightly. I caught sight of Edward last, and he was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks. It was very handsome. He gave me a small smile.

"Enough talk! Presents!" Alice demanded, and sat me down on their big white couch. Rosalie handed me the biggest box first, from her and Emmett, who I realized was no longer in the room. I picked it up, shaking it a little. It felt really light, and I opened it up to find an empty box. I smiled happily up at Rose.

"Thanks Rose, I love it," I said while laughing. She grinned.

"It's a new sound system for your truck. Emmett's installing it now so you can't return it."

I smiled happily, I had been wanting a new one for the longest time and just hadn't had the time to pick one up. It was way too much, but I knew that their seemingly endless supply of money meant nothing to them so I tried to be as polite as possible. "Thanks Emmett!" I shouted loudly, and could hear his faint laughter coming from outside. Alice and Jasper had gotten me my own beautiful chess set, very similar to Jasper's but the pieces were made of white marble and amethyst. I could barely lift it because it was so heavy, but I loved it. They were all very aware of what my favourite colour was. Edward's gift was my favourite though; he had made me a CD recording of his music, my favourite songs that he had played for me on his piano.

I was just opening the silver wrapping on Esme and Carlisle's gift when I flinched back, having sliced my index finger on the paper. A tiny drop of blood welled up on the cut, and my instincts went on high alert. My mind seemed to work fast as everything went into slow motion around me. Jasper's eyes had quickly turned from gold to black, and he crouched before lunging towards me. I should have been afraid, but I wasn't. I braced myself determinedly, instinctively throwing my strength around me like an invisible shield.

The others lunged to grab him, Edward running towards me. Both him and Jasper seemed to collide with an invisible wall, and were thrown back hard. Edward seemed to right himself, gouging a hole into the solid oak floors, but Jasper hadn't and left an impression of himself in Esme's perfect white wall before falling to the ground. The force of it seemed to clear Jasper's mind, and everyone in the room looked at me in disbelief and shock. All frozen in place, statues with carved expressions of horror. I pulled off my scarf, wrapping it around my finger tightly as I ran over to Jasper's side.

"I am so sorry Jasper, are you hurt? I swear I didn't mean to do that." My hands fluttered around him uselessly, finding that he was of course without a scratch. He didn't answer, and I looked at Edward beside him. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry." Edward nodded, and I looked back to Jasper.

"I'm so sorry Isabella," he whispered, his voice filled with shame. It was obvious that he wasn't breathing.

"It's okay Jasper, this wasn't your fault. I should have been more careful." I looked at all of the silent faces watching me. They knew that I couldn't have missed their inhuman speeds, the way that they had moved. They all looked horrified. "Should I, would you guys be more comfortable if I left?"

Edward was by my side in a second, not hiding his speed as he pulled me into his arms. I knew he needed the reassurance that I was okay, so I didn't push him away.

"I'm sorry Isabella," he leaned away, looking deep into my eyes. He was looking for something in my face, but I don't think he found it. He looked at Jasper for a moment, who I saw shrug, and then back at me. "Aren't you… scared?"

"No," I said, almost offended. He looked at me curiously.

"You're probably wondering about… There's something we need to tell you. About us."

No one went to stop him, and I could see that they didn't want to. They were waiting expectantly, watching us. Were they really going to admit their secret to me? Edward's face looked tortured as he tried to find the words. There was no excuse they could give me, and I decided that I would just make it easier on him. He would say it either way, there was nothing I could do to avoid it.

"I know already. It's okay." I didn't think their faces could have gotten more surprised, but they did. Edward just shook his head.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not-"

"I know that you're all vampires."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. None of them blinked, or even bothered to imitate breathing. I stood up, brushing off my dress, and Edward followed me. "How long have you known?"

I looked over at Carlisle and Alice, giving them a small smile. "Since the first moment I woke up in the hospital, and saw you two in my room."

"How is that possible?" Carlisle whispered.

I was the one then who went quiet. Now that they knew that I knew, it probably wouldn't take them long to figure out how. I would have to take a leap of faith, and believe that these kind vampires wouldn't hurt my pack. I was part of that pack, spirit wife of the Alpha, it couldn't have been a breach in the treaty for me to know. I looked down at my ring, and spun in around my finger once. "My fiancé, he told me the stories of the infamous Cullens, the vampires with the yellow eyes that didn't feed on humans. Despite what you were, even my pack couldn't truly hate you. Not after you saved Harry." I looked over at Edward again, who was watching me in disbelief. "My fiancé, my spirit husband… His name was Jacob Black. Alpha of the Quileute tribe. I was his imprint."

"That's impossible," Edward whispered.

"Impossible is a strange word to hear coming from a vampire," I told him with a small smile, trying to lighten my own mood. It didn't work. I didn't want to talk about this.

"No, I mean that it's impossible because you said that he was dead, and you can't just..."

"He is dead," I whispered painfully. Alice came over, wrapping her arm around me and leading me back to sit down on the couch. I hadn't realized that I had started to shake until Esme handed me a glass of water.

"How?"

"The same way as my father, killed by a vampire." I said darkly. My shaking was more out of anger now. I had never been able to say those words aloud to someone before.

"How did you know?" Edward asked, I didn't understand the hurt look in his eyes as he asked me. He seemed… afraid?

"Because I was there. Charlie tried to scare him away, but he took his gun before he could even move, and shot him point blank in the head right beside me. I had to tell the cops that it was a home invasion, and… Jacob… He got there before he could hurt me, but he got away. He came back for me the next day and… He… Jacob died trying to protect me again," my voice caught on a sob, and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing freely. The words had been trapped inside me for thirteen months, it was painful to speak them for the first time. Alice held me as I cried, stroking my hair soothingly and rubbing my back.

"I'm so sorry Isabella, we had no idea," she whispered gently.

"It's not your fault," I choked out. "I want you to know that I don't look at you guys like that monster. You're nothing like him, and I don't hold the actions of his… kind against you." She nodded in understanding, and continued to hold me while I soaked her shirt. Eventually my tears started to slow, and as my mind began to clear I remembered something important. The question I had been waiting almost a year to ask them.

Alice let me go as I sat up straight, and I furiously swiped away the tears on my face. I saw Jasper flinch from my anger, but didn't bother to try and hide it. I looked at Carlisle, their obvious leader.

"What is a Volturi?"

**. . . . .**

**Edward**

_She had him, and she knew it_. He didn't have more than five moves left, and he was able to feel her flutter of happiness. Not that anyone would have been able to tell, as always she wore her polite mask of neutrality while she nibbled on one of the cookies that Esme had baked earlier today.

_I don't know how she's doing it, but she's cheating somehow_, Jasper thought for a moment. One quick peek at her kind, gentle face though threw that thought out of his mind. _No, she's too much above that sort of thing._ He looked at me, hoping for an explanation, but I just shrugged. I was just as baffled as him and everyone else.

It was curious how well she fit into our little family, bringing something valuable into each one of our lives, and she didn't even know it. Alice completely adored her, she had always been a generally happy person but Isabella had given her something she hadn't even known that she wanted so badly. A real friend, a best friend. They were almost inseparable, and I'd never seen someone put up with her as well as she did. She was the politest, most patient and caring person that I'd ever met, and I had known Esme for almost a century. She hung out with Alice of her own free will, not because they were family and lived together. Whenever she wanted to go shopping or wanted someone's opinion on something, she'd always called Alice, even knowing what she was getting herself into.

Esme had immediately started considering her one of her daughters in her mind, ever since Isabella had first opened up to her in the Hospital. She loved how artistic she was, and having someone to share her passion of renovations with. It had thrilled her that Isabella had let her help her while she pretty much rebuilt her home, and seemed to value her opinion so much. And she loved how happy she made Alice… and me. It was impossible to keep secrets in our family, and they had quickly discovered my feelings for her. Esme was thrilled by the idea that I had finally found love, but was sad for me and worried about Isabella at the same time. When they found out that she had caught me checking up on her home, and firmly told me to stop doing so, they had found it more funny than odd. We had no idea how she did it, her weird sixth sense of knowing when someone was close to her, how she kept me out of her mind, how she had caught on to Jasper's gift so easily or even why Alice had so much trouble seeing her. She also gave Esme the opportunity to do so many things that she couldn't do with us, her other adopted children. Being able to cook for her and offer her help with things she couldn't do on her own, being a shoulder to cry on, and watching her grow. She was human, and she changed a little every day. The thought that we'd have no choice but to leave her in a couple years, knowing that someday she would grow older than us and eventually fade away from this earth was constantly and painfully weighing on all of our minds.

Jasper loved having her near. It was hard for him, she hid well the emotional pain that was always raging inside of her, but he admired her strength in keeping such a strong exterior. Her other feelings were so pure though, how she was able to so truly care about every person she met, how she was always so eager to help anyone or make someone else happy, even at her own expense. And as much as it frustrated him, he loved having a worthy adversary at his beloved game. Alice and I didn't count, apparently we were cheaters.

Emmett liked her because he thought she was tough. She never took any shit from him, standing her ground and telling him straight off when he was pissing her off. She took all of his teasing and jabbing with a smile, never getting flustered and always having some sort of witty comeback. He thought she put a bit of needed excitement and change in our lives.

Carlisle's feelings for her were one of the strongest though. He had cared for her and nursed her back to health, so he had had the most first-hand experience with her in the beginning. At first it had just been concern, but like Esme he had quickly grown to love her and see her as one of his children. He admired her determination and hard efforts in her rehabilitation, her independence, and how much joy she brought to his wife and the rest of us.

Rose was the most surprising though. She admired Isabella in many ways. At first she had just pitied the girl, having found out about the loss of her child and then the rest of her family. She admired how hard she tried to make the most out of her life. How strong she always seemed when we really knew what she was like beneath her composed mask. Despite what she had gone through, she kept going on and didn't take what she had for granted. She was confident and held her head high, and she liked how she didn't take any shit from Emmett, me, or anyone else for that matter.

"Checkmate," she said sweetly. She never gloated, but just went to setting the board back to its original state. Jasper wasn't strong enough to cover his sigh of irritation, and Emmett laughed.

"I'm going to drive her home," I whispered to Alice, too low for Isabella to hear. This was the only problem that Alice had. She was happy that I had found someone that I cared about like she did with Jasper, I was her closest sibling and she couldn't have been happier that I had fallen for her best friend, but she was irritated with having to share her. I couldn't hold it against her, I was constantly jealous of how Isabella was more comfortable around her and how Alice was able to make her smile the most.

_No, she'll be happier if I drive her_, she told me knowingly, showing me the murky flashes of how she would just silently sit in the car looking out the window. I should have taken my Vanquish instead of running over today, she loved my car too much to ever refuse a drive in it.

"I should get home, I have to work tomorrow," she said shyly. I felt her guilt through Jasper, she hated to ask for anything, even something as little as a ride home while we were fighting over who would get to be the lucky one to drive her.

"Not a problem. I'll be back in a bit Mom, just dropping off Isabella," Alice called. Esme rushed over, sad that she was leaving. It was weird being so close with someone who actually slept at night. She pulled Isabella into a tight hug.

"Have a good night sweetie, come back and visit soon okay?"

"Of course, thank you again for the cookies. They were delicious as always." How was she able to smile like that when it felt like she wanted to cry?

"Can you drop me off too on the way?" I asked with a smile.

_Ass._ "Sure, not a problem."

Alice talked excitedly on the drive, keeping to the limit just for an extra minute of her company. She was talking about some sort of stitching type that she enjoyed, and Isabella nodded with a smile while listening intently. I never trusted her facial expressions though, I wish Jasper had come with us. Her scent was so strong in the confinement of the car, but I gladly took the flames tearing at the inside of my throat to be able to sit so close to her. It was torture not being able to check up on her at night without her knowing, without knowing that she was safe and protected. An eighteen year old woman, living completely alone. It terrified me.

"So, anything that you want to do this weekend?"

"Sorry, I'm not going to be able to hang out this weekend, I have a few personal things that I need to take care of."

Alice tried to look ahead to see if she could catch any of the rare flickering pictures that she sometimes had of her. Nothing. "That's okay, will you call me when you're free again?"

"Of course," she said with her polite smile. Alice wasn't the only one madly curious about what she would be up to.

**. . . . .**

Having a whole weekend without being able to see her, my entire family decided to go hunting a bit further away than usual. It wasn't often that we all got to go together like this anymore, so we saw no need to bring our phones. It made me uneasy knowing that we weren't close by in case she needed one of us, but even though Esme was too kind to ask, I knew that it meant a lot to her to have all of us together like this.

I was draining a deer close to Alice when it happened. She couldn't see Isabella, but she could see _him_. The lousy excuse of a man whose vile mind I tried to avoid. _"Oh, umm… would you like to come in for a glass of water or something?" _She asked him, trying to be polite as always.

"NO!" Alice yelled, dropping her deer. My enraged snarl echoed loudly through the woods as we both took off back in the direction of home, our family quick on our tails.

"Alice? Edward? What's wrong?" Carlisle asked worriedly.

"Is it Isabella?" Esme asked, terrified. I was too angry to answer, why had we gone so far? Why hadn't we at least taken our phones to call and tell her not to let him inside?

"David decided to pay her a visit," Alice said, her voice an angry hiss. Rosalie growled angrily, echoed quickly by the others.

I watched what was happening to her in Alice's mind seconds before they transpired as we shot through the forests towards her. He was perfectly composed as he talked to her calmly, waiting for her to get comfortable. She excused herself to use the washroom, and he quickly dropped the liquid into her juice and swished it around. She came back, smiling as they spoke, and he waited expectantly while she drank. After a couple minutes, her eye lids started to droop, and her speaking became difficult. The parasite actually laughed as she tumbled to the floor, and locked the front door to make sure he wouldn't be disturbed. He watched her with an amused smile, towering over her tiny form while she tried to move, to push herself up. I saw the fear in her eyes, and recognition? She knew what was going to happen to her, and pain shot through my heart at the realization that she was familiar with the disgusting look on his face. He leaned over, easily picking her up, and she somehow managed to cry out. The sound of the fear in her voice, something completely unheard of in her, forced another snarl to escape my throat. She tried to hit and kick at him, but her fighting was ineffective against him. He carried her over to her bedroom, dropping her onto her air mattress. He watched her happily as she tried to move, but her limbs quickly turned lifeless beside her. He lied to her, telling her she wouldn't remember a thing, before leaning over and pulling off her shirt. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she somehow gathered the energy to spit in his face. It was brave but foolish, and I cringed as he struck her across the face. His hand was so big against her small face, and her lip cracked and started to bleed. _We were so close_ _now, just a few more seconds_… He roughly started to pull off her shorts, and I burst through the door, shattering it into pieces. I had the satisfaction of seeing the fear in his face and I ran over to him, forcing my speed to something closer to human, and wrapped my hands around his throat, lifting him off of the floor. Alice ran over to Isabella, wrapping a blanket around her nearly naked body and lifting her into her arms gently. I saw Isabella look at me through Alice's eyes for one quick moment before she blacked out.

Those warm brown eyes were the only thing keeping me from snapping his neck. I couldn't be a monster if I was to ever succeed in winning her heart. With a frustrated moan, I struck him hard, knocking him out and dropping him heavily onto the unfinished floor. His nose and jaw were badly broken. Good. "Carlisle, Emmett… if you don't take this garbage out now I don't think I can avoid killing him."

"He'd deserve it," Rosalie hissed, Carlisle was holding her back.

"He does, but I don't think Isabella would be able to forgive me for killing him."

"We'll make sure he never comes back, don't worry," Jasper said darkly. He grabbed the parasite's leg, and roughly dragged him out of the house, Emmett following behind him.

"Carlisle!" Alice cried. Isabella was thrashing around violently in her arms. He rushed to her side, having her lay Isabella down on the ground. She was having a seizure, and he turned her on to her side just before she threw up all over her floor. Esme started sobbing.

"It's a reaction to the drugs. The vomiting is good though, she's getting it out of her system." She went still, and Rose dashed forward to wrap the blanket around her more securely again before pulling her into her arms. Her thoughts were chaotic, her own human memories beating away at her from the inside. "Her heart rate is too high, we need to get her to the house. I can give her something to stabilize her, then an IV to help flush whatever's left out of her system." He reached to take her, but Rose held onto her tightly.

"No, I have her." With a determined face, she sped out of the house with her, and we followed closely behind.

Rose put one of Emmett's t-shirts on her before she would let me in the room, and Carlisle set up the IV, injecting the medication into it. We all sat around her bed for hours, listening to her heart rate slowly return to normal. Rosalie sat on the bed beside her head, dabbing at her face with a cool wet cloth, while Alice sat on her other side, holding her hand. Emmett and Jasper came back eventually, Jasper had filled David with so much fear when he came to that he practically had a heart attack, and with what they had done to him afterwards, there was no way he'd ever come back into the country.

"She's going to wake up soon," Alice said quietly. "Two minutes."

"We should leave, she'd be horrified knowing that we all knew," Rose said knowingly. Alice nodded.

They all filed out, and she looked at me. "I know it's hard Edward, but I won't leave her side. She'll want to go home, why don't you go replace her front door while you wait?"

It wasn't nearly enough, but it was something. I nodded, and forced myself out of the room just as she began to stir. I remembered the one that she had admired when we took her paint shopping awhile back, the one with the floral design frosted into the glass, and picked up a strong lock at the same time.

They came back before I finished installing it; I had just opened up the package of the lock. I stopped when they parked, and watched as Isabella stepped out of Alice's car. I bit back my cry of rage as I looked at her face; she had tried to cover up the spreading bruise on the left side of her face, but my eye sight was too good. She looked at me, and her face immediately turned worried. "Sorry," she said quickly.

I ran to her side, worried and confused. "What are you apologizing for Isabella? You didn't do anything wrong."

"You just… looked mad and-" I reached out, and delicately ran one of my cool fingers across the bruise on her face. After all of that, she was worried that I was mad at her for some reason? Ridiculous. "I'm not mad at you, I'm furious at what was done _to_ you," I was surprised and glad that she didn't pull away, her hot skin felt like silk under my fingertips.

"Thank you," she whispered. I could tell from the thickness of her voice that she was referring to last night. She remembered everything, up to the moment of seeing me before she passed out. I gave her a reassuring smile, and decided to test my luck, wrapping my arms around her gently and smiling as she hugged me back. She was so fragile, so soft and small in my arms. It was infuriating that someone could want to hurt someone so pure, so loving and gentle.

Too soon I had to let her go, and worried when she put on her usual, smiling mask. She thanked me happily for the door, and I was relieved that she liked it. Alice led her inside while I finished installing the lock, and I watched curiously as I finished while Isabella walked into her room with a large kitchen knife. I dashed over to Alice's side while her back was turned, and we both watched in shock as she violently stabbed the air mattress, and watched it deflate with a blank expression. She crumpled it up, and stuffed it into a garbage bag before turning around and smiling sweetly at us, "Sorry about that, but I feel much better now."

I never knew what to expect with this woman, and I loved it.

Alice asked her if she wanted to go shopping, as she was now without a bed, but she understandably was not up to the task. She offered for her to stay with her, but her face paled and she shook her head. Maybe she just didn't want to be around all of them. "I have a spare room at my place if you want. I wouldn't mind at all."

My heart sunk as she was silent for a long minute, then I stared disbelievingly as she agreed. "Okay, thanks. I think I'm just going to hang out here for today and put down some flooring though."

"Want help?" I could barely contain my happiness.

"Sure."

Alice hovered around as I helped Isabella start on the flooring in her bathroom. She was just as worried as I was about Isabella's calm demeanor. After destroying her mattress she went to acting like it was just any ordinary day. After guaranteeing her that I would keep a close eye on her, she left to go finish her hunting trip with Jasper. I spent the afternoon in comfortable silence, enjoying watching Isabella handle the nail gun with an amused smile when we finished the bathroom and started on her bedroom. Once it got late, she packed a small bag while I waited for her by the door, and asked me if I wanted her to follow me in her truck.

_No, I don't want to let you out of my sight for a second,_ "I have a few days off, I can just drop you off at work tomorrow." I didn't actually, but it would be more… human of me to call in sick for once. She didn't buy it, and let out a small laugh. I loved that sound, the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

"Since when do you take vacations?" She asked in a teasing voice. I just rolled my eyes instead of answering. I never lied to her if I was able to avoid it.

She went into her usual silence as we drove down to my small house. I spent most of my time with the others, but it could be a bit overwhelming living in a house with six mated vampires, especially when you were stuck listening to all of their private thoughts. It was nice having my own place to escape to when I needed it, and looked better for our cover story. I could see the lost look in her eyes in the reflection of her window, and I desperately wanted to know what was going on in her mind.

"What are you thinking?" She seemed surprised by my sudden question, like she had forgotten I was in the car with her.

"That's not the first time you've asked me that question," she said casually.

"This isn't the first time you've avoided answering it either," I tried to give her a comforting smile. "So?"

She was thoughtful for a moment, looking back out into the darkness as she answered. "If it hadn't been for the accident, I would probably be having my baby soon."

So that's why she had wanted to be alone this weekend, I felt horrible for not paying attention to the date. "I'm really sorry Isabella." The words were useless ones, I wish that there was something I could do for her. The thought of her being with another man made me extremely jealous, but I knew that wasn't fair of me. It was obvious that she had completely loved him, and still did.

"It's okay." I didn't know what else I could say, so we drove in silence for the rest of the way.

I wanted her to be comfortable in my home, and knowing that she hadn't eaten yet today, I thought it would be a good idea to offer her something. I had been with her all day also, so she knew I hadn't eaten either. Human women seemed to like salad, so I cut up some of the random vegetables that were in my fridge and mixed them together. I made myself a plate too, and had to fight the gagging reflex as I swallowed the vile stuff. She was smiling though, so she must have enjoyed it. She politely complemented me on my home, seemingly trying to make small talk.

I loved that she was talking to me. That I got to spend time alone with her when she wasn't otherwise trapped with me because she couldn't walk out of the hospital. I didn't have to share her with Alice. When she asked me if I would play something for her on my piano, I jumped at the chance to stop eating the pile of dirt that she considered food. She followed me over to the bench, and only hesitated a moment before sitting next to me on the small piece of stained oak.

It was like sitting next to an open flame, her body heat crashed against me in waves in time with her heart beat. I was happy to burn if it meant I could be next to her though. The heat made me feel so… alive.

I don't feel guilty in saying that I showed off a little, but I really wanted to impress her. I went into one of my more intricate pieces, and as usual got carried away and lost in the music. I opened my eyes when I finished to find her watching my face intently. I was once again lost in the depths of her milk chocolate and starting yellow eyes.

"That was amazing, I don't think I've ever heard that song before."

"Probably not. I wrote it," I told her proudly. She seemed to be getting tired, and a quick peek at her watch told me just how late it was. I showed her up to the completely never-been-used guest bedroom that I had upstairs.

"Thank you again Edward," she said as I walked back towards the door.

"No problem. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Not just for letting me crash here. Thanks for…"

I knew what she meant, and didn't want her to go through the pain of finishing the sentence. "I know Isabella. Don't worry about it." I gave her a smile, and closed the door behind me as I went back downstairs.

It was so weird, having a human in my house for the first time. I tried not to listen as she walked around upstairs, going through her nightly rituals. I heard as she slid into her bed, but after a while when her breathing never changed it was apparent that she couldn't sleep.

I decided to go back to my piano, and started playing some gentle, quiet music. It wasn't long after that I heard her breathing pattern shift, and I smiled to myself as I listened to her steady breathing and heartbeat. I relaxed with a book on my couch, happily knowing that she was safe and protected on the floor above me.

**. . . . .**

It was the best week of my life. I had lived in the minds of my family for so long, seeing and feeling what their lives were like from their point of view. This was so completely different. Living in this small house with Isabella and her silent mind was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my vampire existence. Getting to listen to her stumble around as she got ready in the morning, cringing every time I heard her bang into something and laughing while she cursed under her breath in frustration. Seeing her walk downstairs in the morning with her wet hair and flushed cheeks, her beauty never ceased to stun me.

I got a bit of a thrill from picking her up at work when she finished too, seeing her small smile as I held open the door for her. I would get her alone for a few minutes while driving to her house to assist her in her flooring project. I was painfully aware that I was helping her leave sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to turn down the time she allowed me to spend with her. Alice came by every night for a few hours, and would sit and chat happily with us while we worked.

She hadn't wanted to go over to the family's house all week. Rose was adamant in telling us to give Isabella her space, and I could understand her reasoning and agreed with her after seeing it in her mind. She had been so humiliated, knowing that Carlisle, Esme and I knew what had happened to her. "Isabella's a strong woman. She's going to be okay, just give her time," she told us. But everyone worried, and there was almost always one of them checking up on her from the woods outside the Library. If she noticed, she never said anything about it.

Those first few evenings were my favourite. She never seemed to want to stay in her house for more than a couple hours, and we would spend the rest of the night at mine. The more time we spent together, the more comfortable she seemed in talking to me, but it was very different from the way she hung out with Alice. I had spent a lot of time watching Alice's memories of the time she spent with her, Isabella was quieter, but when she did talk it was more about things like fashion, her opinions on styles or furniture, mostly things that Alice was more interested in. With me, we talked about literature, philosophy and music. The depth of her questions, opinions and views always impressed me because she was so young. Aside from Carlisle, I'd never really met someone who shared my passion for learning like she did. She also seemed to share my love with my piano, and easily persuaded me into playing for her every night. She would watch my fingers with determined concentration, and I was surprised when she accepted my offer to give her lessons. She was usually the sort to try and refuse such assistance, but she seemed to be really excited by the idea. She was a very good student, and a quick learner.

The last three nights weren't so easy, having to go to work and leave her alone. I had debated on leaving my job, but felt guilty about the idea. They were so short staffed already, and apparently the three days that I'd been gone had been chaotic. Isabella happily offered to drive me to and from work while she was still staying with me, though I'm not sure if it was because of me or because she wanted to drive my car. She was obviously smitten with her, and as much as I loved my car, I was debating on giving it to her just because I wanted to do anything in my power to make her happy. I wanted to be the one who made her smile more than anyone else.

Two years. We would have to leave her within the next two years. I would never really be able to leave her of course, but I couldn't damn her by forcing the truth about us onto her. It was too selfish. So I would make her as happy as I possibly could and make the most of these two years, and then I would spend the rest of my existence watching and protecting her from afar.

When she came to pick me up Saturday morning, her packed bag was in the back seat, giving my dead heart a painful twinge. She had me switch seats with her, and I drove her over to her place. We had just finished her bedroom last night. "You know you can stay at my place longer if you want. I don't mind at all, the company's nice."

"Thanks Edward, but I'll be fine." Would she? How was I supposed to last the night knowing that she was here by herself, when only a week ago… She gently rested her small hand on my arm, and gave me a reassuring smile. "Thank you so much for having me so long, and for all of your help. I'm really grateful."

I tried to smile for her, but it was hard with my mind spinning. I for some reason doubted she would lift her rule about popping over at night to check on her. "We still on for piano lessons?"

"Of course, what days do you have off this week?"

"I'm off tomorrow, can I give you a call?" I asked hopefully.

She smiled. "Sure. Oh!" She dug into her pocket and pulled out my key before handing it to me, but I shook my head.

"I have another copy on me, hold onto it. Just in case."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Edward, I really couldn't-"

"Please?" I pleaded. "It will make me feel better knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you don't feel safe. It'll also make it easier to not sneak by in the woods to check on you." She conceded thankfully, and thanked me again before leaving. I heard Alice's thoughts before she pulled up to the house. _My turn! Hit the road Ed_. I frowned, and then in a lighter tone she said, _Don't worry, I'll take good care of her._

**. . . . .**

"Hey Emmett, have you ever gone hunting before?" She asked randomly, slowly sliding out a brick from the tower of Jenga blocks. Jasper and he had finally found a game that they were better at then she was. Her hands always seemed to have the faintest shake to them, and couldn't compete with their vampiric fluidity.

He laughed loudly, and the rest of us shot him a warning look as he replied. "Tons of times, why do you ask?"

Jasper was leaning in to take his piece when she replied. "I feel like buying a gun, how do you get a permit?" I couldn't contain my laughter as Jasper knocked over the pile of wooden blocks, looking at her in shock. "Jenga!" She said happily before Emmett could. Jasper shook his head in frustration as Emmett led her over to one of the computers, printing off the proper forms for her and telling her where to turn them in.

"_Emmett! What are you doing?"_ Esme hissed quietly in disbelief. "_She can't have a gun!"_

"_Of course she can. I don't see why she shouldn't be able to protect herself,"_ he said seriously, also too quietly for Isabella to hear and stunning everyone with his words. Rose went over to his side, kissing him happily before telling him that she'd be waiting for him upstairs. I shuddered from the mental picture she had in her head as she ran upstairs to their room with a smile.

**. . . . .**

She never really seemed to stop moving, unless it was to sleep. She worked all week during the days, and from the time Alice and I shared between the two of us she seemed like she was almost incapable of staying in one spot. She had an endless list of things to do inside, and once it seemed like she had run out of projects she moved outside.

I hadn't gotten to see her for a few days since her last lesson, and decided to stop by and say hi for a while before heading off to work. Her neighbors had parked in front of her house again, so I parked a little further down, using my briefcase as an umbrella. Despite the heaviness of the rain though, I could hear her working in her backyard. I noticed that her new lawn was coming in really well, and that she had torn up and replanted the flower beds outside the front of her house. I heard her unclip her pistol and flick off the safety as I made my way around her house. I smiled, she wasn't an easy person to sneak up on, and I found that fact reassuring.

"Don't shoot, I come in peace!" I teased, walking around the house with my hands held above my head. She relaxed when she saw that it was me, telling me to hold on while she finished in her garden. I inspected her work as she ran around the house to grab her last plant out of her truck. It was hard to imagine how she had found enough time to do so much in just two days. It was a drastic change, the neat, freshly turned beds with new, flowering plants compared to the over-grown chaos it had been three days ago. I took a quick picture on my phone before she came back to show Esme, hiding it quickly as I listened to her come around the corner. Did she even realize how completely drenched she was? The water made her shirt cling to her in a very appealing way. After packing the soil in around the small shrub, I watched, completely entranced as she stood up with a dazzling smile. She was covered in mud, and wiped away at her long hair with the back of her arm, leaving a trail of dirt across her face.

An image flashed in my mind, seeing her rising up from a deer instead of a garden, brushing her wet hair away from her face. But she had a small spot of blood teasing me from the corner of her mouth, and was smiling up at me with golden eyes.

No, I could never do that to her, end her life and damn her to my existence. It would be the most selfish thing I could ever do. And yet… No. She looked over at me, and I pushed the alluring dream out of my mind. She was going to get sick soaking wet like this. "Isabella, you are soaking wet," I said lamely.

She rolled her eyes and invited me inside, and I made myself comfortable on her large sectional couch while she cleaned up. I took a quick peek at the book that was open on her coffee table, and wondered why she had been reading about different cloud formations. She came back out five minutes later, all cleaned up in a pair of shorts and a t-shit, sliding her engagement ring back on as she walked by. I caught sight of the painful looking bruises that seemed to cover her legs and winced. They were a screaming reminder of how fragile she was, the smallest thing could threaten to take her away from me at any moment. It had me thinking about that image of her with golden eyes again.

She seemed to sense my concern, and gracefully folded her legs underneath herself. She was barely sitting for half a minute before she started fidgeting and looking around the room. "You never stop moving, do you? I don't think I've ever just seen you sit down and relax before."

She smiled as she spoke. "Isn't that what we're doing now?"

Hah, it was obvious that she was forcing herself though. "Nope, this doesn't count. You're probably just sitting here to be polite anyways." She looked at me for a few seconds, before her eyes took on that distracted look again. "See? I can see your head is still spinning a mile a minute. When was the last time you just did something for fun?"

"I do find this sort of thing fun." I raised an eye brow at her, wanting her to just admit that she had a problem, and she scowled at me. It was adorable, like an angry kitten, and when I smiled at her it just seemed to make her even angrier. "What? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to go shopping or bake cookies every weekend. I'd much rather spend my time in my back yard or at the firing range or hiking."

I loved her temper, but was aware that I had hit a nerve and didn't want to do too much damage, so I raised my hands in surrender. She huffed adorably, and turned on her television. A strange thing to see her do. I watched as she combed her fingers absentmindedly through her wet hair. Her cheeks had a beautiful flush to them, something I would never see again if she became one of us. I wondered what she would think of me if she really knew what I was, what her reaction would be like if she found out. Would she think I was a monster, damned to hell for what I am?

"Do you believe in God?"

She looked at me steadily for a moment, seeming to debate her answer. I tried not to fidget under her piercing gaze. "I believe in the possibility of a higher power, but I don't believe in the Catholic version of God. Like in the bible. There are just too many controversies, I think it was used as more of a tool of oppression and control than anything. There's no way to prove it one way or the other, and I think it's an unfortunate waste of the short amount of time we have on this planet to fight or worry about it."

I nodded, analyzing her words carefully. I must have given her the wrong impression with my silence, because she seemed worried about having offended me. "Oh you didn't, I also agree with you, but it's hard to think a certain way sometimes when you've been forced to believe something else for so long. Do you think there is a heaven or a hell?" Though it was hard to remember my parents, I do know that they had raised me Catholic, and ever since then I'd been with Carlisle. His father had been a priest, so his upbringing had been stricter. The idea of that god had been drilled into our minds our entire lives, and even though we now had more education on the subject, it wasn't so easy to change the fundamentals that you had been built and raised with.

"I believe that we create our own realities. I like to think that there is something more of a limbo… where our loved ones can wait to see us again, and then maybe choose to be reincarnated. I really like the idea of reincarnation, and I believe that karma would really affect it. Those who do good with their lives will be given more happiness in their next ones, where people who create evil will not be so lucky." She had a sad smile on her face, and I wondered if she was hoping to meet the father of her child there someday. If her ideals were the reality, would I be cursed once this life ended, and be born again to suffer for it in my next? Would _she_ see me as evil?

I hesitated before asking, not really sure if I wanted the answer. I expected her to say murderers or demons or something of the sort, but she surprised me as always, lightening me with her words. "Evil is… lacking in compassion. Having no consideration or respect for life. I think as long as you are capable of loving someone without malice, you can't truly be evil." Those words gave me hope. Love is something that I did have, real love for my family, and most of all for her. I smiled happily at her, and she grinned before looking back at the TV like she had no idea how profoundly her words had affected me. "Aren't you working tonight?"

I looked at the time and cursed. I should be able to make it on time, but it will be close. I said goodbye to her quickly and rushed out to my car, making it into the building with twenty seconds to spare. It was still pouring, and I went to grab my briefcase once more. Humans cared about that sort of thing, trying to stay dry in the rain. _Except for Isabella_, I thought with an amused smile, but it wasn't there. I quickly pictured it sitting under her coffee table. I smiled, realizing that I had an excuse to drop by in the morning, and walked into work with a big grin plastered on my face.

One of the nurses, Jennifer I reminded myself, came in with some logs for me to sign off on. _Look at that gorgeous smile, he seems to be in a good mood tonight. I should just ask him out already._ I tried to ignore her thoughts as I walked over to grab a folder from one of my shelves. Why couldn't Isabella think of me like that? The image in her mind, of me wrapping my arms tightly around her and kissing her, sliding my hands over her body… I replaced the picture of her with one of Isabella as I signed the papers, imagining what her full, soft lips would feel like against mine.

"Page seven is missing, just bring it by later when you find it and-" In a sudden surge of determination, the nurse walked up to me quickly, and I backed against the wall trying to put the distance back between us. She kept on course though, laying her hands against my chest. _Wow, he's so solid, and muscular… _"Doctor Masen-"

"Hey Edward, you forgot your-" Isabella had walked into my office, holding my briefcase and looking at us with a surprised expression, and her face quickly turned bright red. "Sorry!" She squeaked, and fled quickly with an embarrassed smile on her face.

_I wonder who she was, calling him Edward? Maybe one of his niece's friends…_ I was completely horrified, what had she thought transpired here? I couldn't bear the thought of her misunderstanding what this was. No no no…

"Miss Reddik, this is completely inappropriate behaviour for the work place, please refrain from doing that ever again," I said coldly, and fled the room. I didn't care or pay attention to her reaction. The elevator had already closed, so I ran to the staircase, and chased Isabella to her truck in the parking lot, catching her just before she reached for her door. She turned around when she heard me calling her name, her cheeks still that alluring shade of red. The rain was quickly soaking her thin shirt once more, making it cling to her hypnotizing curves. "Isabella, I'm sorry, that wasn't what it looked like at all. There's nothing-"

"It's okay Edward, you don't have to explain anything to me. You're personal life is your own business. Sorry for interrupting though."

No, she actually thought there was something going on between me and that woman? Couldn't she see that I had eyes only for her? I couldn't let her think that. "Isabella, there is nothing going on between her and I, or with anyone else for that matter. There's only one woman I care about."

She didn't get it. She still had that small smile on her face, that maddening, frustrating, absolutely stunning smile. I couldn't stop myself, I wanted her so badly, and I _needed_ her to know how I felt. I reached out, taking her delicate face into my hands, and gently pressed my lips to hers.

It was even more amazing than I had dreamed it would be. Her lips were so soft, and felt so good against mine. The heat from her skin shot fire and electricity though my body, more intense than anything I had ever felt before. I felt my mouth form into a smile when I slowly pulled away as she rested her hands gently on my chest, and opened my eyes to look at her.

Then my body immediately felt colder than it ever had before. She was looking at me with a painful, horrified expression as tears streamed down her face. I stood there, frozen in place as her hand shot out and slapped me across the face. I barely felt it, her touch as soft as a feather on my skin, but I knew that it must have been painful for her, like striking a steel wall. She jumped into her truck, and peeled out of the parking lot as quickly as her truck could move.

_Oh God, what have I done?_

I dashed through the parking lot to my car like a bullet through the darkness, starting her quickly and squealing out of the parking lot and down the road after her. It wasn't a far drive to her house, and she had beat me there. She didn't look at me as I jumped out of my car. She was running up her front steps and sticking the key into her door. "Isabella! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She went inside, slamming the door angrily behind her. "Please, let's talk about this," I pleaded, walking down her driveway at a more human pace.

"Go away Edward!" She shouted from inside.

"It was a mistake, I wasn't thinking and I'm so sorry, please just talk to me-"

I looked at her in shock as she threw open her door. She was standing in her doorway, face furious as she glared at me. She was gripping her pistol tightly in her right hand. "Leave. Now," she hissed.

"Please, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have, now get off of my property." She raised the gun at me, switching off the safety with an audible click as she pointed it at me. I knew there was no way that she would actually shoot at me, I just needed to get her to calm down and listen to me. I took one set up on her porch, and she quickly aimed, and shot a hole into the step a perfect inch away from my foot. I jumped back in surprise. "I didn't hit you on purpose, but if you don't leave now I guarantee I won't miss."

I couldn't believe she actually shot at me. Realizing I was doing more harm than good, I gave her one last pained look, before fleeing to my car and driving away. What was wrong with me? How could I have screwed things up so badly? I had been doing so well, she was finally starting to like me, we had been getting so close and… _Ahh!_ I struck my steering wheel angrily, breaking off half of the wheel. It was the most excruciating shift I had ever had to work through, but luckily Jennifer was nowhere to be seen.

I knew that she still loved her fiancé, and it was selfish of me to have kissed her without her permission. I couldn't believe that I had actually done that, and wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to speak to me again.

So, of course I was blown away when I pulled into my driveway and saw her sitting on my front steps. I got out of my car, and approached her cautiously. She didn't have her gun, so I think she had at least decided not to try and kill me. Today. I went to apologize again, but she held up a hand signalling for me to be silent.

"First, I'm sorry for shooting at you. That may have been a bit of an over-reaction. I'm mad at what you did, and thought it was very selfish of you to do it. But I value our friendship, and am willing to forgive you and put last night behind us if you promise not to do anything like that without my permission again."

_Without her permission?_ Did that mean that there may be a possibility of her _granting_ me permission? I was too thankful to look too deeply into it. At the moment. "I promise," I swore truthfully. I would never dare to upset her like that again.

"Okay then. I'll see you on Tuesday for our piano lesson," she said in a completely neutral tone, and didn't look back at me as she walked past me to her truck, got in, and drove away.

I had no idea what to think, and had been standing in my driveway watching the spot where her truck had disappeared for about twenty minutes before Emmett jumped out of the bushes with a giant grin on his face.

"Was Alice serious? Did she actually take a shot at you?" He asked excitedly. I groaned and walked inside.

**. . . . .**

I was extremely nervous when she came over on Tuesday. I had been too afraid to call or visit her although I was dying to be in her company. I had the sinking feeling that she would just not show up as I watched the seconds tick by slowly on my watch.

I jumped off of my couch in a blur when I heard her loud truck coming down the road, and waited impatiently with my hand on the door knob as she pulled into my driveway, then slowly walked across the gravel and up my front steps. I heard her let out one deep breath in a huff before she knocked. I practically ripped the door off of the hinges as I opened it quickly.

"Hey," she said, completely casual as she walked past me and dropped her purse on the couch. She went and took her usual spot on the right side of my bench, and I watched her carefully. She was trying hard to act normal, I could tell, the only difference was the lack of her usual small, polite smile. I hadn't really realized that I was still standing in the doorway until she turned around and looked at me speculatively. She patted the bench next to her. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I left my gun at home." She smiled then, "If you don't feel up to it though I can leave."

I might have dashed over to her side a little too quickly, but if it worried her she didn't show it. We went over the chords from last time before starting to move on.

And things did move on.

At first she was deliberate in keeping a formal distance between us, careful not to brush up against me or sliding away a little bit if I got too close to her, but if that was my only punishment then I was grateful. Neither of us brought up or even hinted at my indiscretion from the other night, and after a few weeks it was like it had never happened.

But it had happened. I clearly remembered the feel of her delicate face between my strong hands, the feel of her warm, soft lips like silk against mine. I thought about it constantly, dreaming about being able to kiss her just once more, and what it would have been like if she'd kiss me _back_. I was determined to keep my promise though, dying to know if she ever would give me permission. I knew that if I messed this up a second time, she would not be nearly as forgiving.

She never gave the slightest hint that she was interested in me that way though. She became more comfortable again with me after maybe a month, stopped flinching away if our hands accidently brushed the other's on my keyboard or our arms lightly bumped into the other's. I treasured those brief moments of contact, but they seemed to have no impact on her. She just went on with her worrying, constantly busy schedule. Summer came, and she was barely home anymore, driving the entire family insane with worry as she went hiking and kayaking alone. I practically ripped my hair out when she went bungee jumping, and had waited beneath the surface of the water just in case anything were to happen. We all relaxed slightly when she took a week to work on her front and back porches, sanding them carefully before staining them. It gave Rose the idea of getting Emmett and Esme to build her a garage, and the task thankfully kept her around the safety of our family for a couple weeks.

It was a magical thing, seeing her skin slowly grow darker from her time in the sun, something completely foreign to us. Sure, we'd seen other humans with tans, but had never really observed the progression in someone before. She seemed happiest on those sunny days that she spent by the water, and it was so painful not to be able to enjoy them with her. She had no idea how tightly she had my entire family wrapped around her delicate little fingers.

The hardest part was watching her continue to grow and change though. Her nineteenth birthday was quickly approaching, but she didn't mention a single thing about it to anyone. Alice had the feeling she was just going to let it pass buy unmarked, and happily announced to the family that we were going to throw her a surprise party.

"Alice, she hates it when people buy her things. She's just too damn polite to say anything about it," Jasper warned as Alice was flipping through a catalog.

"I know I know, but there's got to be something that she wants, that she would enjoy. Oh!" I saw Rose's choice flash through her mind. She loved her truck more than herself, of course she wouldn't mind if it was something for her Chevy. _Damn, I should have thought about that_, Alice thought. "What does she like to do that she doesn't already have?"

Jasper smiled, and came back with his chess board. She smiled radiantly, leaning forward in a blur and kissing him passionately. "That's perfect Jazz! What if we were able to get one that was white and purple though? Oh she would just love that…"

I already knew what I wanted to give her, it was wrapped and sitting on the mantel of my fireplace. I had spent weeks recording, and re-recording some of my original pieces, her favourites, onto a mixed CD for her. I knew that she hated people buying her expensive things, and was confident that she would be happy about it.

Alice had spent two days covering the trees down the drive of our property in miniature white lights, the inside as well, having Esme bake an elaborate cake and covering every surface on our main floor with ribbons, balloons and thousands of flowers. We knew better than to try and talk her out of it, or to try standing in her way. The only part that bothered her was the fact that she couldn't actually _see_ her coming over, but she had grown a bit accustomed to her lack of being able to watch her, and was confident that she would be able to get her over. She just needed to time it right.

She saw a flicker of her getting dressed in a beautiful lavender dress, the colour complimented her skin so beautifully, and started to worry that she may have plans. Who would she be going out with? The only person that she really talked to besides us was her boss and the people who worked at the hardware store in town. She concentrated carefully on the blurry image of her walking to her door, hesitating, then changing her mind and just dropping back onto her couch. Where had she been planning to go? The sun was just starting to set.

_Yes!_ Taking her chance, she called her, and her happy voice answered on the third ring. Alice used the knowledge of her eagerness to help to lure her over by asking for her assistance.

We all listened in anticipation as she slowly pulled down our drive. "Do you think she likes the lights? Jazz, can you tell?"

"Nope, she's too far away, I need to be in the same room as her," she said with a hint of frustration. I was looking forward to this most of all, it was very rare that I got to hang out with her and Jasper at the same time, and I was eager for the closest thing to a glimpse in her mind that was possible.

We turned off all the lights inside before she came around the corner, and waited excitedly as she walked out of her truck and up the front steps. After noticing that the front door was left open a crack, we watched as she entered in the room, and I started to feel her soft brush of emotions in Jasper's mind. Curiosity. She couldn't see us in the dark, but we could see _her_, and waited until she closed the door.

"Hello? Alice?" She asked cautiously. Alice flashed on the lights and we joined her is shouting out surprise.

This was the third time I had heard her scream, and even though it was nothing like the one I had heard when she had first woken up in the hospital I regretted our actions immediately. The sound was excruciating to hear, and I wanted to run to her side immediately as she backed up against the closed door in fear. It only lasted for a quick moment though, and I felt her relief as she sighed. She gave a shaky laugh, "Seriously? You guys scared me half to death." Alice ran over happily to her side, leading her over to the couch. I watched as she took in the elaborate decorations. Awe, and… sadness? Why was she sad? Jasper and I shared a concerned look. "How did you guys know?"

"I'm your Doctor, of course I know when your birthday is," Carlisle said with a teasing voice.

"This is so beautiful, you guys really shouldn't have gone through all of this trouble. I don't even celebrate my birthday." That surprised all of us, but shouldn't have really with our knowledge of her past.

It made Esme really sad, and she had to stop herself from running over and hugging her. "You don't celebrate your birthday?"

She gave her an embarrassed smile. No, she did not like to talk about herself. "No, haven't since I was maybe seven." So, since her mother had passed. It made sense, it didn't seem in character for that demon of a father that she had had to throw her parties. Was she sad because this made her think of her mother? A surge of guilt shot through her, "This is beautiful though, really. Thank you so much." She looked around the room, smiling at each of us, and stopped when she saw me last.

She hesitated on me the longest, and Jasper found my thrill entertaining. I was trying to concentrate on her emotions though. What did she feel when she looked at me? I felt a giant grin stretch across my face as Alice pulled her away. It was tiny, but it was there, I was certain. Happiness, friendship, and the smallest flicker of appreciation and affection. Emmett had shot outside through an open window and was already close to finished with the installation of the new stereo system Rose had carefully chosen. I watched as she picked up and lightly shook the empty box before opening it, and felt her amusement and a bit of relief when it was empty. "Thanks Rose, I love it," she said laughing. Rose couldn't help but laugh too, and explained. She felt excited, this was something that she had wanted, but no one but Jasper and I could feel the unworthiness she felt at receiving such a gift. It was a good thing I hadn't decided to give her my car then, I decided. She adored the chess set that Alice and Jasper had gotten her, and carefully inspected each and every little amethyst piece with an adoring smile on her face.

But she loved my little gift the most. It took her a moment to read the writing and figure out what it was. I was horrible at putting names to my creations but she did it with ease. She referred to one of them as "The Rain Song", and then there was "The One That Sounds Like Sunshine." Her favourite was "The Lullaby", a piece I had actually written for her, the one I had made up that first night that she had stayed in my home with me, inspired by the joy of listening to her heart beat and gentle breathing just above me as she slept. She would close her eyes and listen carefully with a soft smile and relaxed expression whenever I played it, and I always treasured the few minutes of being able to watch her face, so closely beside me, without her even seeming to know. One of the biggest smiles I had ever seen her wear spread across her face as I felt her appreciation and happiness for the small CD. It was dazzling.

She went to open Esme's gift, well technically Esme and Carlisle's, but he'd had no say in the idea. It all happened very quickly. Each one of us were hit hard, like running into a mountain. The unexpected and intoxicating scent of her blood assaulted us all simultaneously, and Jasper's blood lust, accompanied by mine and every other one of my family members' was too much for him to bear.

I lunged when he did. Yes, the scent of her blood was the most delectable thing I had ever experienced, but I loved her even more than it. It was instinctual to throw myself between them, I couldn't live without her, there was no other thought in my mind. It didn't make sense; the crackle of energy. It was like being struck by lightning, or maybe running into a wall of lightning would have been a better description. The two of us were thrown back so quickly, so forcibly, that Jasper hadn't even had time to brace himself as he was thrown into the wall. I hadn't seemed to be hit as hard though, and managed to land in an inelegant crouch, gouging though Esme's pristine floor when my hand dug into it trying to gain purchase.

Everyone in the room was frozen, staring at Isabella in horror and wonder.

_What the hell was that?_

_I've never seen anything like that in my life, what was that?_

_How did she do that?_

The thoughts assaulted my mind all at once, it was as if their minds had all gone silent for a minute and started back up, or they had just been too taken aback to even think for a moment.

She moved before any of us did, dashing across the room to Jasper's side as she ripped off her scarf and wrapped it tightly around the cut on her finger, and dropped down in front of him. He was completely in control again, not being influenced by the rest of us, and stared at her in wonder. "I am so sorry Jasper, are you hurt? I swear I didn't mean to do that." _She was apologizing to me? The scarf… she knows. She knows that I just tried to attack her when she cut herself. She did that, somehow she threw us back with that invisible wall. You felt it too right?_ Her emotions were chaotic with guilt and concern. Concern for Jasper. Her hands fluttered around him, checking to make sure he wasn't hurt.

And concern for _me_. She looked over at me quickly again, but it was obvious that I had fared better than Jasper. It had felt differently to us though, I could see it in his mind. It just was just like running into and invisible wall and being thrown back, he didn't feel the electricity, the intense surge of energy. She was still obscenely worried when she looked at me though. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry." I nodded, apparently not capable of anything more. It was fading fast but I swear I could still feel the energy buzzing inside of me. It reminded me of the feeling I had gotten when I kissed her. She looked back at Jasper, seemingly not trusting her first judgement of him being okay.

"I'm so sorry Isabella," he said, drowning in his shame. He couldn't believe what he had almost done; it was like he hadn't had the slightest bit of control over his body.

"It's okay Jasper, this wasn't your fault. I should have been more careful." She was completely honest when she spoke those words, he could feel her pushing a feeling of sincerity at him. She looked around at each of us in the room, silent and frozen while staring at her, and her emotions turned to one of worry.

_She saw everything Edward. How we moved, she knows that Jasper tried to attack her because of her blood. We need to tell her, we owe it to her to explain. She should be able to make an educated decision, know what we are and the danger she is in from being around us. She knows too much. We can't just decide to leave her without an explanation, she should be able to choose._ Carlisle's words were sad, he knew the danger she would be in from knowing our secret, but he was right in saying that she knew too much. If Aro touched anyone of us, she was damned already. It was only right to give her the opportunity to decide if she didn't want us in her life. It would be safer for her, she would have a better chance of not being found if she left us.

But we couldn't just decide that for her and leave. She was part of our family, each and every one of us loved her too much to hurt and abandon her.

"Should I, would you guys be more comfortable if I left?" She was worried about making us uncomfortable? I thought it was because of the fact that she was being gawked at by seven statues. She looked at me, and that hurt look in her eyes pushed me past the breaking point, snapping me back into my own mind. I flashed to her side, realizing too late that I hadn't even bothered to hide my speed.

She didn't flinch away, there wasn't a hint of fear or surprise in her. I needed to hold her in my arms, to feel the beating of her heart one last time in case she chose this moment to leave our lives forever. She didn't push me away. I told her that I was sorry, and after a moment pulled away. I couldn't understand her expression at all. Why was this human so immune to everything? _Was_ she even human? Maybe Jasper's gift wasn't working properly again. "Aren't you… scared?"

She scowled at me, seemingly offended by my words. "No."

Wow. I only had a moment to marvel, if I didn't tell her now, I wouldn't ever be able to bring myself into doing it. "You're probably wondering about… There's something we need to tell you. About us." I paused for a moment, trying to find the least frightening way to phrase it. She looked around again at everyone in the room and her emotions seemed almost frustrated. Dreadful. She looked back at me.

How was I supposed to let her go?

She let out a small sigh, and looked away in resignation. "I know already. It's okay."

I shook my head, as much as I wanted to give her the usual excuses, adrenaline rush, poor blood circulation, steroids or any of the other excuses humans made to make themselves more comfortable around us, we couldn't lie to her like that. She needed to know. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not-"

"I know that you're all vampires." She said the words calmly, and didn't seem surprised by our silence. She stood up from her kneeling positing between Jasper and I on the floor, and brushed off her skirt. It was impossible, but maybe she put it together when she cut herself, she seemed to know that her blood had triggered it.

"How long have you known?" I asked, but everyone was thinking it. She looked over at Alice and Carlisle, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a small smile.

"Since the first moment I woke up in the hospital, and saw you two in my room."

She's known the entire time? That sentence completely changed my perspective on the entire past year. It explained all of those little knowing looks I caught on her face occasionally, why she was never surprised about the coolness or hardness of our skin. Why she never asked us why we never ate or drank around her. That time when I stayed with her when she'd been afraid from the harsh side effects from her medication, she waved it right in my face.

"_I can't sleep at night, I'm a vampire!" She paused, then grinned mischievously at me. "Just kidding. Look, no fangs!"_

Shit. She was an ever better actress than I'd thought.

"How is that possible?" Carlisle asked before I could.

She went silent for a long moment. It wasn't often you could read the depth of her emotions through those careful eyes, but this time I could see that she was fighting a war in there. Her feelings became resigned once again, and as she twisted her delicate ring around her finger she seemed to draw strength from it. "My fiancé, he told me the stories of the infamous Cullens, the vampires with the yellow eyes that didn't feed on humans. Despite what you were, even my pack couldn't truly hate you. Not after you saved Harry." She looked me straight in the eyes, knowing. The memory was crystal clear of course. The older human had been fishing, and we were passing closely by while he was with Charlie Swan on our way to our hunt. I had heard the telltale signs of a heart attack moments before it happened.

She had used the familial pack term, and it all made sense. Jacob Black was strict in his rules, but if one of his pack had imprinted on her like his second had, they would have been free to tell them all of the legends. She was a part of the Quileute tribe by their oldest of laws. "My fiancé, my spirit husband… His name was Jacob Black. Alpha of the Quileute tribe. I was his imprint."

It was Jacob Black. The man I had been jealous of for the last ten months, the father of Isabella's child, the one who she loved and wore a ring and constant reminder for. The fact that I had actually known the man this entire time was hard to wrap my mind around.

But this didn't make sense. The shape shifters were remarkably hard to destroy, and Jacob Black was the strongest wolf I had met, larger even than his great grandfather. The only way he could have been killed was by a vampire. The coincidence was too much. "That's impossible," I whispered, not understanding.

She gave a small smile. I didn't know how she was doing that when I could feel the waves of pain crashing around inside of her, and now I knew who they were for. "Impossible is a strange word to hear coming from a vampire."

Emmett actually started to laugh at that, but Rosalie kicked him hard in the leg to silence him. "No, I mean that it's impossible because you said that he was dead, and you can't just..."

"He is dead." Her voice was cold, and Alice hissed at me for my insensitive words as she pulled her over to sit down on the couch.

"How?" Carlisle asked, but we all knew the answer before she spoke.

"The same way as my father, killed by a vampire."

My family looked at me in shock. How did she know? We had cleaned up perfectly, the police reports even said that he was killed by a hit and run driver. How was she even able to be in the same room as me? "How did you know?"

"Because I was there. Charlie tried to scare him away, but he took his gun before he could even move, and shot him point blank in the head right beside me. I had to tell the cops that it was a home invasion, and… Jacob… He got there before he could hurt me, but he got away. He came back for me the next day and… He… Jacob died trying to protect me again,"

Ours wasn't the only police report that was false. The answers just gave us more questions though. Why had this vampire been after her? Had he caught on to her strange powers as well? And who was he? Alice was livid, but she calmly stroked Isabella's hair and held her in an attempt to sooth her. I badly wanted to take her place. I wished I could shut Jasper out of my mind, because her chaotic misery was suffocating. I couldn't stand it.

"I'm so sorry Isabella, we had no idea," she whispered gently to her. Now that she did though, she was determined to avenge her for all of the pain she was caused. Alice would find the culprit, and destroy him gladly. She wasn't the only one thinking along those lines, the family was furious that someone had tried to end her life and change her against her will, or was either out for her blood alone. I wasn't the only one who found her scent especially appealing.

"It's not your fault," she choked between painful sobs. "I want you to know that I don't look at you guys like that monster. You're nothing like him, and I don't hold the actions of his… kind against you."

We knew that she was telling the truth. She had known our secret the entire time, but still cared about us and chose to include us in her lives. We sat in painful silence as she cried, not knowing what to do. Jasper could feel her, but he had no effect on her emotions at all. It was so much more than the loss of a loved one, it was like she was mourning for part of her own soul. Instinctively, Carlisle held Esme closer to his side, not being able to let her go. Jasper went to Alice's side, and Rosalie clung to Emmett.

And I stood there alone, looking at the reason for my existence, feeling her pain and knowing that it is how I would feel if she was taken from me. But she was feeling that for another man. A man she had agreed to marry and had given herself to, and someone who was able to give her a child.

My thoughts were pulled out of their darkness as an overwhelming surge of anger flared to life in her, making both Jasper and I flinch. She straightened up, pulling away from Alice and swiping furiously at the moisture on her face before she determinedly looked at Carlisle.

"What is a Volturi?"

**. . . . .**

**Isabella**

"Excuse me?" He asked, shocked. Yes, he did know what it was.

"You heard me, I want to know what a Volturi is, and why Elijah was so desperate to have my shield. I know you know, I can see it in your eyes Carlisle. You _need_ to tell me." After seeing what I had just done, and pairing that with my weird sixth sense and my ability to kick Jasper out of my head, I had finally figured out what Elijah had meant when he said I was a shield.

Carlisle came and sat down next to me, and I didn't look at anyone else. "The Volturi are a large coven of vampires that reside in Italy. They are something like… our rulers, the enforcer of our laws. The vampire you are talking about, Elijah, he is-"

"_Was_. He no longer walks on this earth."

He gave another shocked look before nodding and continuing. "He was something of a recruiter; his job was to look for potential candidates, powerful people with exceptional abilities that could raise their level of power."

I looked at Alice in worry, and she didn't seem to understand. "They don't know about you, do they?"

"What do you mean?" She smiled before I could even reply.

"You know exactly what I mean, my little clairvoyant friend." She laughed, and everyone else just continued to stare. "Okay guys, I know that your cover's been blown, but it's a little weird when you're not even at least _acting_ like you're human. Breathe, or pretend to, or something."

My shift in attitude seemed to relax them slightly, and everyone went back to taking their previous places. I knew Jasper was helping me now, I could feel him trying to do so earlier but I just hadn't been able to let him in. I was grateful for it, I felt so close to snapping at any moment and just wanted to get myself through the rest of this night. I knew what the Volturi was now, I would figure out how to destroy them later. I knew it would need time and planning, and was most likely suicide, but I would gladly risk my life to avenge my loved ones. The thought made it just a little bit easier, giving me a new found sense of purpose. I needed to distract myself, to just stop thinking about him so I wouldn't break down in front of them again. I had plenty of other questions that I wanted answers to though, and finally had the opportunity to ask some of them.

"What's your power Edward?" I asked curiously. He was the only one still standing, he seemed to be having the hardest time accepting my… acceptance.

"What?"

"You all seem to have some sort of extra unique ability, and yours is the only one I can't figure out. Carlisle's seems to be his compassion, Alice had her clairvoyancey, Jasper with his mood thingy, Rose with her ridiculous good looks-" she smiled, flipping her hair, "And I can only guess what Emmett's is by his ridiculous muscles. But you, I have no idea."

"You are way too perceptive, you know that right?"

"You know that you're evading, right?"

He finally smiled, "I can read minds."

That didn't make any sense, if he could read minds my cover would have been blown a long time ago. Then I saw that frustrated look cross his mind, and it clicked. I smiled. "But you can't read mine."

He nodded. "It was driving me crazy for the longest time, yours is the first one I've never been able to get into, it's completely blank. It's nice to finally have an explanation. _A shield,_ why didn't I think of that?"

"And an extremely powerful one at that, where it's already manifested in her human form so strongly."

"What do you mean Carlisle?"

"You were right in guessing our… powers as you called them. We all bring something forward from our human lives that is amplified once we're changed. It's not very common to find something so powerful in a human though."

"Hmm." I didn't know what else to say, and everyone was quiet for a moment, regarding me worriedly. A realization hit me then, a small part that I had over-looked. I looked down at my hands in my lap while speaking quietly. "Are you going to have to kill me now?"

"_What?"_ Edward exclaimed, flashing to my side again and kneeling in front of me in a second. "What are you talking about?"

"Now that you know that I know, do you have to kill me?"

"Of course not, we would never hurt you Isabella." He reached out and gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. Something worse came to my realization then, and I saw both him and Jasper flinch.

"Are you going to leave?" My voice was shaking. No, I couldn't lose them too, they were all I had now. The closest thing to friends or family.

He pulled me into a tight hug. "No, we will not leave you. Not if you don't want us to. I promised you that before, remember?"

I hugged him back, and nodded into his shoulder. "Thank you." It was barely a whisper, but I knew that they all heard.

"But Isabella," Carlisle said, drawing my attention once again. "You have to know that there is only one main rule the Volturi enforce amongst us, and that it to keep the secret. If they found out that a human knew of our secret, no matter who told them of it, they would see them as a threat. You might be safer if we left, and we will respect whatever your choice is."

I looked back at him evenly. "From the way I see it, you are in more danger being around me than I am you."

"What do you mean?"

"Wouldn't you be punished for revealing your secret? There are seven of you that could be punished, but only one of me. And they've already tried to kill me. Not an easy thing to do, apparently." It had become apparent now, death just wasn't ready to take me yet.

"Well, yes, I suppose so." He hadn't seemed to even realize his own danger.

I looked to Alice, and took her hand gently. "I care about you, all of you, and I don't want you to be in danger from me. Even if it wasn't for your Volturi, I'm not a safe person to be around. People that I care about… bad things tend to happen from them. It would probably be safer for you if I left."

She leaned in close to my face, her golden eyes only inches apart from mine as she looked at me furiously. "But what if I don't want you to leave?" She hissed.

"If you want me to stay, I will," I told her sadly. It was so selfish of me, but I didn't want to be alone. "You're the only friends that I have left."

Alice pulled me into a tight hug. "Then I'm not letting you go anywhere." The room seemed to settle, and Emmett cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him curiously.

"There's an obvious answer here people. Why don't we just change her?" Everyone seemed to smile at the idea, and I was flattered that they were so willing to take me into their family, except for Rosalie who shot to her feet.

"No!" She hissed.

"No," I said, more calmly. I tried to ignore the feeling of hurt that Rosalie didn't want me, we had seemed to get along so well, but that wasn't the point. I looked to Edward who was still kneeling in front of me, who seemed more hurt by my refusal than anyone else. I think he already knew my answer though, I could see it in his eyes. "I'm sorry, it's not because of you, because I really do care about all of you."

"Then why?" He whispered.

Did he really care about me that much? To want to turn me and keep me forever, even though I couldn't give him what he wanted? It was obvious that he did, and I felt so bad for the pain I was about to cause him. I laid a gentle hand on his cheek, speaking to him alone.

"Jacob gave his life to save me from becoming a vampire. I won't let that be in vain. I just can't give up my humanity, I'm sorry." Yes, that hurt him deeply. I didn't know what else to do besides wrap my arms around his neck and hold him. His arms were like an iron vice around my waist as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"No, don't be. I understand, and I don't want you to feel guilty about this." It was a long moment before he was able to pull away, then he gave me a weak smile.

"So, where does this leave us?"

"The same place we were when you came in. Nothing has to change," Alice said happily.

I took a moment to look at each of their smiling faces. Each of them except for Rosalie who was pointedly not meeting my gaze, but I would address that later if I had to, and Jasper. His expression was still oozing guilt. "Jasper, I meant it. I know that wasn't your fault. You were feeling not only your own emotions but everyone's at the same time. You visited me so many times in the hospital without a problem at all. I know that you wouldn't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you, and I don't hold it against you." I concentrated hard on him, throwing my feelings of love, friendship and forgiveness at him as hard as I could. He seemed to melt in his chair, slumping slightly and smiling after a moment. Edward laughed, and shook his head.

"What?"

"I might not be able to see in your mind, but I can see in _his_. You practically drugged him. I don't know how you do it, but it's hilarious."

Jasper shook his head clear, and smiled back at me. "Thank you Isabella."

"No problem. So, can I finish opening my presents? I feel kind of relieved that I won't have to watch you guys force down that cake just for my benefit now."

They laughed, and after I opened up my gift from Esme and Carlisle, I gasped loudly. Grabbing the giant knife for the cake that was sitting next to me, I stabbed into the cardboard box and pulled it out. Clicking open the plastic lid, I marveled at the beautiful array of sockets and bits, lifting up the heavy drill in my hands. It felt _good_. I gently set it down, and ran over to Esme. I stumbled a few feet short, but she caught me in a hug, laughing.

"I absolutely love them Esme, thank you so much." I squeezed her as tightly as I could.

It was wonderful, being surrounded by them without all of the secrecy, seeing them relax more than they ever had in front of me. I tried to ignore the anxious feeling in my stomach, and the loud voice in my mind telling me that this could never last.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Lost and Found

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter 16 :: Lost and Found**

**Isabella**

"So, how old are you, really?" I asked her. We were sitting on her bed thumbing through a new stack of catalogs that she had just received. I thought it was funny how she had set up a fake bedroom for when I came over before to try and hide the fact that her and Jasper shared one. I liked her real bedroom much more, but she said she had enjoyed the extra closet space.

"I am actually nineteen, I think. That's what Carlisle thinks anyways, I don't remember any of my human life. Oh! What do you think of this one?" She pointed to the picture of a dark grey blouse.

I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head. I had much more fun picking out outfits for her than myself. "Nope, I don't like how the sleeves bunch up like that, they'll make your arms look oddly skinny. Is that normal? Not remembering anything?"

"No, that's just me. The other say they remember, but that the memories are kind of muddy, or blurry. You'd have to ask someone else about it, I can't explain it right."

"Do you know why you can't remember?"

She shook her head, and flipped another page. "I just woke up alone with no memories. I did have my gift though and immediately knew that I would find Jasper and Carlisle's family. Jasper wasn't quite ready to meet me though, so I had to wait a while."

I felt Jasper before I saw him, appearing by Alice's side and joining us lazily on the bed. "I thought she was crazy at first, just walking up to me with a big smile. I thought she was going to attack me, but as soon as I felt her emotions… well, I haven't been able to leave her side since." She smiled lovingly at him, and he leaned forward over her magazine to kiss her gently on the lips.

"How long have you been together?"

"Eighty-three wonderful years," he said in a dreamy voice. I couldn't help but smile at the obvious affection in his eyes. They looked like they needed a moment alone, so I excused myself to use the washroom.

It had been an interesting week. As Alice had promised, things pretty much went back to normal. With a few exceptions. The façade she had been putting up for me had quickly crumbled away. I was happy that she was comfortable around me enough to act like her normal self, and it was interesting watching the way she moved. Sometimes Alice would be sitting next to me, and I would blink and she would be on the opposite side of the room. She never bothered to drive to my place anymore, and usually came over through the woods in my backyard. I had even been able to get her to pull the dead tree stump out of my yard that had been annoying me for months, and she ripped it out like it was a dandelion. This was my first time coming back to her house since my birthday though, and I had been excited to see them all again.

I always felt weird using Alice's personal bathroom, and had taken my time walking down the two floors to use the one by the kitchen. When I came back out I took a peek in the living room, and found Emmett and Rosalie building a monumental tower of cards. There looked to be about a hundred empty packs scattered around the floor, and Rosalie was balancing precariously on the arms of a dining room chair. "Impressive," I said with a small smile. Emmett gave me his usual dimpled smile as he said hello, and my stomach sunk when Rosalie looked away, seemingly not wanting to talk to me. I didn't understand what I had done to upset her so much, and realized it was probably very rude for me to be walking around their house like this. I put on a neutral face, and apologized for interrupting before fleeing up the stairs. Jasper gave me a worried look when I came back in and closed the door behind me.

"What's wrong? Why are you so upset?"

"Nothing's wrong," I said with a smile, and sent him a desperate feeling of wanting him to drop it through my mind. He frowned, but nodded, and Alice gave us both an annoyed look. I had hoped to see Esme, but she was taking too long to come home and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable forcing my presence in Rosalie's home when she so obviously didn't want me here. "Want to go hang out at my place? I haven't gotten to use my new chess board yet."

She gave me a calculating look, but agreed, and the two of them joined me in my truck. I let Jasper drive.

To be honest, it wasn't just Rose's reaction since last weekend that was bothering me. I hadn't seen Edward again since then either. He had called me saying that he needed to cancel on our Tuesday piano lesson because they needed him to come into work, but I had the feeling that he just hadn't wanted to see me.

Maybe now that he knew of my history with Jacob he had moved on and lost interest in me. I wouldn't have blamed him, it wouldn't be fair of me to want him to chase after me when I couldn't really give him anything in return. But he was just as much my friend as Alice was, even though they were completely different types of friendship.

I missed him so much, and the feeling confused me.

Alice picked me up from my spot on the bench, and lifted me over her lap easily to put me between her and Jasper. He reached out and rested a hand on my shoulder, and I instantly relaxed. My emotions must have been driving him crazy.

"It's getting harder and harder to touch your emotions, even when I can feel them. Are you doing your shield thing again?"

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said with a smile. "Just try not to hold it against me for trying to lighten your mood."

I really didn't mind at all, because if I could avoid it I really didn't want to think of the hurt I felt with seeming to lose two of my friends at once. When they left me for the evening though, there was no way to avoid it.

Now that I didn't have to hide anymore, my nightstand had become more of an altar. I flopped down on my bed, looking at my favourite picture of Jacob and I from Prom. My worn bracelet was there too, along with his ashes and my tiny wolf. It made the pain a little easier being able to look at these things whenever I walked into my room.

"What do you think I should do?"

The wolf stared back at me silently.

"Nothing? You sure?"

More silence.

I nodded, and rolled over onto my back to stare at the ceiling while hoping to fall asleep and maybe get the chance to talk to him properly. He hadn't spoken to me in my dreams since the night Edward had kissed me. I couldn't help a small smile when I remembered the shocked look on his face when I had fired a round into my front step. It wasn't often one could say that they scared away a vampire.

I felt that weird fluttering feeling in my mind, alerting me that someone was in my backyard. There had been a home robbery a few blocks away a couple weeks ago, and with an annoyed sigh I picked up my pistol and stomped over to my back porch. I just wanted to go to sleep, but it shouldn't be hard to scare him off.

I went out the back door, leaving it open behind me and scanning the trees from my back porch. The moonlight danced in her golden hair as she walked out with an amused smile. "I had heard it from Edward, but it's still weird seeing it for myself. You can really feel when someone's close to you or walks onto your property?"

"Pretty much." Her voice didn't sound angry, but it wasn't always easy to tell if a vampire was acting or not. I had trouble meeting her eyes, and looked off to the side at one of my gardens.

"Isn't it weird when you like, go shopping or something?"

"Yeah, it's mildly annoying but I'm starting to get used to it." I felt when she moved, so I wasn't surprised when I looked up and she was standing right in front of me while analyzing my face. I refused to let her see how much she had hurt me, and looked away while crossing my arms. "Why are you here Rosalie?"

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

I looked at her in surprise. She looked sad. "I'm not mad at you Rose, I just don't know what I did to make you hate me so much." My voice caught a little, but I didn't cry.

"I don't hate you," she said quietly.

"You don't have to lie. Did Jasper put you up to this? I get it okay, its fine if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I won't go over to the house if you don't want me to either. We don't have to make a big deal about it." I turned around to walk back inside, but she was once again in front of me.

"You think I'm your friend?"

"Ouch. God, you don't have to be such a bitch about it."

She laughed loudly at my words, and I got extremely angry. Her eyes widened in shock as I saw her get pushed away by an invisible force slightly. She spoke very quickly, her expression worried. "That's not what I meant by that at all! I didn't think you liked me enough to actually consider me a friend. I'm happy that you do. And I don't hate you, not at all. I came over here to apologize."

I didn't quite believe her. "Apologize for what?"

"For what happened on your Birthday!" I raised an eyebrow at her and she groaned. "When Emmett suggested that we change you, and I said no."

"It's okay Rose, I get it-"

"No you don't! I was so angry, because I thought you were going to say yes. You have no idea how lucky you are, what you have the possibility of doing-"

I didn't mean to but she was pushed back another two feet across my floor, her words enraging me. "No idea how _lucky_ I am? You have no _idea_ what my life has been like! Do you have any idea how lucky _you_ are? You love Emmett right? Your _family_? How long have you been together, huh? You are so fucking lucky to have all of them. Since my mother died, do you know what the longest anyone I've cared about has stayed in my life? Nine months. Nine months is the longest I've ever been allowed to keep a family or friend, someone I loved. You've had yours for decades. Don't tell me how lucky I am!"

"But you can have children."

"Yes. And I did. And he died inside of me because I can't protect anyone. But _you_ can. You can protect your family." I was shaking with anger.

"I'm sorry Isabella. This all came out wrong. I care about you, and was worried you were going to make a mistake. I never wanted this life, to be this way. I wanted to have children and a family and grow old and watch them grow old, and all of that was taken away from me. I'm so jealous of what you have, of the possibilities you have, and when I thought that you were going to throw it all away I was angry."

"But I don't want to throw it away." I didn't understand.

"I know! That's the thing! I just kind of assumed that you would."

"Then why were you mad at me?"

"I wasn't! I was mad at myself for assuming, and then I just felt guilty because I thought that you thought that I said no because I didn't want you in my family, but I do. I like you, you're probably one of the best friends I've ever had. People just don't normally like me, and I'm okay with that because I don't like most people. But I like you, and I want to be your friend. Please forgive me."

"Oh." It was a lot to take in, and I felt completely humiliated by reaction. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I forgive you." She looked at me in disbelief, a small smile on her face. "I'm sorry for flipping out on you, I just misunderstood."

"No, it's okay. I'm horrible at this sort of thing."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for pushing you too, I seriously don't understand how this thing works."

She laughed. "It was kind of cool actually, didn't hurt or anything. You know, you're probably the most interesting human I've ever met."

"Oh, well umm… thanks."

She left not long after, and when the weird feeling dissipated from my mind I went back inside, locked my door and fell back on my bed. I looked over at my wolf. "Good call," I told him with a smile, but it slowly faded.

I couldn't bring myself to ask her about Edward. It felt too… personal. I didn't know if they knew of his feelings for me, and I definitely wasn't going to be the one to tell them that. He usually had Sundays off but… no, I couldn't bring myself to go over and demand an answer. He had been there, probably feeling what I had felt through Jasper's mind when I told them about Jake. If he decided it was too hard and didn't want to be around me anymore, or had changed his feelings about me, it didn't seem right to force my presence on him. I missed him, but I definitely didn't want to hurt him more than I already had.

So, I would do nothing. I hated it, but I didn't know what else to do. I went and turned on my CD player in the living room, and fell asleep to the sound of his music while curled up on my couch with my quilt.

**. . . . .**

"Isabella! What the hell are you doing up here?" I looked up at Alice who was standing next to me on my roof. She was wearing an angry scowl and had her arms crossed.

I looked down at the hammer and the pile of new shingles next to my knee. "It's a bit of an obvious answer," I told her with a smile, and started hammering again. The tool disappeared from my hand once I stopped with the first nail.

"What I meant to say was why are you alone on your roof in the rain replacing shingles?"

"I had a leak, the water is going to ruin my ceiling and floors. Or even worse, it could _mold_," I said with a shiver. "I tried patching it through the attic but it wasn't working, so I thought covering it from the outside might work." I gave her a proud smile, but her expression didn't change. "What are _you_ doing on my roof?"

She sighed, relaxing slightly. She held up three fingers, then folded one, then the second, then the third before looking across the river. I followed her gaze just as a huge lightning bolt hit a tree off in the distance. The sound was deafening, and the surprise caused me to lose my balance and slip. Alice had me in her arms in a second though. "Because I saw you falling off your roof and breaking your leg. Thought I'd save you the visit to the hospital."

I laughed and gave her a hug. "Thank you Alice." I let her go and started hammering more quickly. I didn't want to get struck by lightning but I also didn't want to have to rebuild my ceiling.

"What are you doing!"

"You'll save me if I almost-fall again," I told her with a smile. "Just give me a minute, I'm almost done." She tapped her foot impatiently while I finished. "There, perfect." I ran over and threw my arms around her neck.

"What are you doing?" She asked again, laughing and eyeing me curiously.

"You're not seriously going to make me take the ladder are you? It's all wet and slippery." I jutted out my bottom lip in my best pout. With another smile, she wrapped her arms around me and jumped off of the roof, landing lightly on my porch. "Awesome," I whispered, then pulled her inside out of the rain with me. She followed me into my bedroom and I threw her a nice shirt so that she wouldn't drip all over my house before getting changed myself.

We sat down on my couch and Alice turned on the TV. I wasn't really paying attention, there was a question nagging at me that I was trying to word properly. "Hey Alice,"

"Hey Isabella,"

"Do you know what question I'm about to ask you?"

She turned away from the television then, and looked deep into my eyes for a long minute. The frustrated look on her face gave me my answer.

"I see it sometimes, how you just seem to know what someone's going to say before they even speak. Are you just acting like you don't know around me? Because you really don't have to do that, I want you to be yourself around me."

She gave me a smile, and slid a little closer. "Thank you Isabella, but I am myself around you. It's just… my visions don't seem to work properly around you."

"What do you mean?"

She thought about her answer for a minute. "I can see glimpses of you when I try really hard, but they're always blurry and uncertain. And they're erratic. I really don't understand it. When I found you when you crashed outside of town, I had no idea why I was there, only that I needed to be. Once I was with you, trying to figure out what to do, I was able to see little flashes. When I decided to bring you to Carlisle, I was kind of able to see what would happen, but the visions were so weak and unstable that I knew I couldn't completely trust them. It's the same now, they're all blurry and erratic, and I keep seeing less and less of them. It's a good thing that it only takes a minute and a half to run here from home," She said with a smile. "When I saw you fall it scared the hell out of me."

"Is it because of my shield thingy?"

"Must be, I don't know what else could explain it." I nodded, and felt a little relieved. Maybe I would actually be able to surprise her with my Christmas present this year.

"So how's the family?" I asked as casually as I could. She didn't seem to hear anything off in the question.

"Pretty good. Carlisle's been so busy with work lately, they lost a couple of doctors and he's been having to take extra shifts for the past few weeks."

I felt hopeful for a moment. Was it possible that Edward had actually been busy with work lately too? It would explain why he had cancelled that one time, but still, it's been almost three weeks and he hasn't even called.

"How's Edward doing?" The question tumbled out of me before I could stop it. Alice looked at me, and I saw two things flash through her eyes; Frustration, and worry.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Umm… my birthday." I worked hard to keep the sound of disappointment out of my voice. "He cancelled on our piano lesson after that, and hasn't talked to me since." She seemed angered by that comment, but quickly hid the expression.

"Yeah, he's been really swamped at work too, he's been doing extra shifts in the ER a lot lately."

"Do you have a sewing machine I could borrow?" I desperately needed to change the subject, I hated that sympathetic look that she was giving me.

"Sure, why?"

"I'm working on a Halloween costume for work. Kat wants me to dress up for this thing she's doing."

"Sure! What are you going as?"

"It's a surprise," I told her with a happy smile. Yes, I definitely liked that she couldn't see. I had been thinking of two costumes just for that reason. "It's going to be a community event though; you're more than welcome to come." That seemed to cheer her up, and she promised to bring the machine by tomorrow.

**. . . . .**

All of my flower beds were finally prepped for winter, and it was starting to get too cold to work outside. Luckily my new project took up a lot of time.

My Mom had taught me to sew when I was just a little kid. It was one of her many hobbies, and after she passed it was one of the skills I had needed. Fixing torn clothes, making new ones when I couldn't afford to buy any. When I was living with Tara and George they had all sorts of things that needed to be fixed. I loved the quietness and simplicity of just sitting with a needle and thread, and the repetitive task of stitching. It was like meditation to me. But I had never done something this complicated before.

First I made the long golden-yellow gloves than went all the way to my elbows. I had used hula-hoops as the frame for the ball gown. It took weeks to do all of the crimping in the skirt, but it turned out beautifully. I had no idea how to make a corset though, so I had just bought one and re-did the layer of matching fabric over it before sewing in into the hooped skirt.

It wasn't completely traditional though because I added in a few of my own touches. I did the wrap-around shoulder sash in a very light colour of violet, and used one of my mother's antique broaches to complete it on the bust. Then I spent a whole week of evenings sewing dark purple glass beads into the corset to make an intricate floral design down the center and around my waist.

It was absolutely perfect.

It was a charity Halloween party to raise money for books for under-privileged children. There was a cover-charge to get in, and I helped Kat organize and collect donations for a silent auction, a raffle, and spent days baking cookies, cakes and other treats to sell to raise money. Kat did all of the advertising though, it wasn't something I was comfortable with. I had sent an invitation to Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett, and had even stopped by Edward's house quickly while I knew him to be at work to drop an invitation in his mail box.

So Friday, I delicately stuffed my ball gown into a bag, loaded up my car with all my baked goods, and drove to work as usual in the morning. Kat was there waiting, wearing a beautiful black dress, black gloves and a pair of fluffy car ears on a headband.

"Black cat?" I asked with a smile. She nodded.

"I know it's not very inventive, but it's a bit of a tradition," she explained. "Where's your costume?"

"Couldn't fit into my car while wearing it. Help me get this stuff inside then I'll go change, and we can start decorating!"

It took a couple trips to do, but once my truck was emptied I took about a half hour in the washroom. After carefully sliding the dress over my head and tightening the corset properly, I attached my sash and did my hair before putting on my necklace and sliding on my gloves. I couldn't restrain my smile when I looked at the finished result. Mom would have loved this.

I went back out to find my boss sliding tables around the floor, and she gasped when she saw. I did a little pirouette for her, and loved the way the long skirt swished around me. She clapped happily, telling me she loved it, before we both set to work. It took hours to set up all of the tables, prizes, food and music system, and even though it was hard to maneuver around in my costume, it made it much more entertaining. We finished in the early afternoon, and since I couldn't really fit into a chair, I pulled a big cushion out of one of the couches and sat down on the floor with a book to pass the afternoon.

**. . . . .**

**Edward**

_Just come upstairs already_, Alice thought. Isabella was lying across from her on her stomach on her enormous bed, a small smile on her face as she thumbed through a catalogue. I could hear the faint, soft sound of her heartbeat through the ceiling above me. I wanted to go up and join them so badly, but I just couldn't. I had felt her guilt, and more importantly seen it in her face. I could still feel her hot, soft hand on my cheek. I knew that she saw everything in that moment, I could feel that she did. Isabella knew that I was in love with her, so much that I was willing to end her life to keep her by my side forever. And she said no.

"_Jacob gave his life to save me from becoming a vampire. I won't let that be in vain. I just can't give up my humanity, I'm sorry."_

The guilt she felt as she watched my heart break clearly through my eyes was excruciating. That was one of the amazing things about her though, the strength of the emotions she felt was beyond human. Her finality in the subject was firm, and I knew that she would never be swayed.

The thought of choosing for her had been brief, but the fact that it had even gone through my mind was proof enough that I didn't deserve to even be in her presence. I knew I would have to see her eventually, she was truly part of my family now. They were all determined to take her with us the next time we had to move and enjoy the short time that she would stay on this earth. But for now I just couldn't. I couldn't meet those knowing eyes.

That was only part of it though. My entire family knew the rest, and they were right in saying that I needed to tell her. It was wrong to keep the fact that I had murdered her birth father from her. And it was my duty to tell her, this had nothing to do with the rest of my family. Though he had been a horrible man and I still believed he deserved worse that what I had done to him for the crime he committed, he was still her father, and had been her last living blood relative.

So this was all I had. Though I couldn't look at her through my own eyes it was impossible for me to stay away from her, so I watched her through the eyes of my family. I bet that she could feel me here, but it could have been any one of my relatives.

Another problem. I couldn't even get close enough to watch her myself without them. I couldn't go near her house without her knowing. And ever since the night of her birthday the effects seemed to be getting stronger. Jasper was having more and more trouble using his gift on her. It was getting harder and harder for him to sense her emotions, and even more difficult to affect them. Alice had never been able to see her very well, but the visions she was able to have of her were getting more and more infrequent. It was like she was just fading away, and it worried my family.

I listened to her footsteps as she walked down to the main floor and washed her hands, curious as to why she hadn't just used the sink in Alice's washroom. Rosalie turned away when she looked at her_. She hates me, she must. She probably thinks I hate _her_. God, what am I supposed to say to her? Thanks for not wanting to kill yourself cause I'm super jealous?_ I watched Isabella through Emmett's eyes as she took in Rose's body language and her neutral, impassive polite mask took over her face before apologizing and running back upstairs.

"Babe, you should just apologize and get it over with, she thinks you hate her."

"I know that, I just don't know how to do it." She looked up at him sadly, and he hated seeing that look on her face. His angel, his saviour, the love of his existence. He pulled her forward, kissing her roughly, and I quickly pulled out of their minds. I sighed sadly when Isabella asked if they could hang out at her house.

At least I had my work. With the loss of three Doctors, one retirement and two transfers, I practically lived in the building. It kept me busy but my mind was always elsewhere. Wondering what she was doing, if she ever thought about me. I had half hoped that she would call me to try and schedule another piano lesson, but she never picked up the phone. She never asked about me or mentioned my name around the others and that was all the confirmation I needed.

Until one day she did. I was horrified to find out that she had almost fallen off of her roof, but thankfully Alice had had one of her rare visions of her and gotten there in time. I didn't even know about it until the next day when I had stopped by the main house. Alice was carrying a sewing machine down the stairs when I came in, and I asked her what it was for.

"Isabella wanted to borrow it to make some sort of costume. She won't even tell me what it is! God this is so frustrating. By the way, she asked about you yesterday."

"Really?" I had a small spark of hope as she showed me the memory. How she told her that I hadn't even called her since I cancelled our lesson.

"She misses you. You should just get it over with and tell her Edward. It's going to get worse the longer you wait."

"I know," I said quietly. "I just need a bit more time." She patted me on the shoulder and left.

**. . . . .**

It was one of the longest months of my life. Work didn't get any easier although we were able to hire one new doctor, and Isabella seemed so busy that she hardly had time to see Alice. And when Alice couldn't see her, I couldn't watch her memories of her. I had come so close to going over to her house so many times, but could never make it past my driveway.

Having been away from her for so long made her scent seem that much stronger, and when I came home from work one day I was able to smell her as soon as I opened my car door. I followed the brief trail across my driveway and up to my mailbox before opening it and taking out the small envelope. There was a flyer for a charity event on Halloween that was being held at her work. They were trying to raise money for books for children, and it was open to the public. I flipped it over after reading the quick list of activities and found a short note written on the back.

_I know you've been really busy at work, but if you're free it would be really nice to see you. Even if you don't want to talk to me, it's for a really good cause. Think of the children Edward!  
Hope you're doing well- Isabella_

I sat inside staring at her writing for the twelve hours before my next shift, and decided that I couldn't refuse the invitation.

**. . . . .**

"What if we're wearing the same costume? It would be terrible! Why couldn't she just tell me? Ah! This is all her fault," Alice said grumpily as we walked through the oddly crowded parking lot.

"I really doubt she'll be dressed as a salsa dancer," Rose told her with a smile. She was wearing a slightly inappropriate police officer costume, and Emmett couldn't take his hands off of her. The complete opposite of Esme who was, bless her soul, dressed as a nun. I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at her.

I was wearing a very old suit from the 1850's that I had borrowed from Carlisle, he couldn't come but we were about the same size. It was jet black with long tails, and I wore it with a golden yellow vest and bow tie with a white dress shirt. It was a little before my time but I had really enjoyed the fashion. Our group was attracting a lot of attention. Well, Rosalie was anyways.

"I'll be in in a minute," I told them, ushering them to go ahead of me.

"You better not bail," Alice hissed, before putting on a bright smile. They all went in together.

I'll go in, I will be polite, and if she agrees to talk to me I'll tell her everything. After taking a deep breath, I walked inside.

They didn't see her, the room was very crowded, but she was impossible to miss. Her hair was partially pinned up and cascading down her back in thick, soft curls. I watched her breathtaking smile as she snuck up on Alice. It was enchanting to watch, how her thick skirt swished around her when she moved. It tightened into a fitted corset that hugged her waist and chest, accentuating her curves and making her look even more fragile and beautiful then she usually did in her loose tops. A delicate lace sash wrapped around her shoulders and was joined by an antique-looking gold broach.

It was so fitting. The beauty, Belle, gliding around surrounded by her beloved books. I watched as her delicate arms, sheathed to the elbow in golden gloves, wrapped around Alice and hugged her.

I wanted those arms to wrap around me. I wanted to place my hands on her delicate waist and hold her more than I'd ever wanted anything in my existence. I was filled with determination. It wasn't a choice anymore, I had to have her. I _needed _to be near her, she was pulling me toward her with a force much stronger than gravity. I couldn't waste another moment of the short time she had left.

Alice looked at me with a brilliant smile, seeing what I wanted to do, and Isabella followed her gaze. She looked surprised for a moment, and her cheeks flushed into an alluring shade of pink as she gave me a happy smile.

At least it looked like a happy smile, Jasper couldn't feel her at all. It was like there was an empty hole of emotions where she stood.

Even the humans were intimidated by her beauty. The crowd seemed to part for her automatically as she came towards me.

"I'm glad you came Edward. It's really nice to see you." Her mouth-watering scent crashed into me, causing flames to rip at my throat, but her beauty over-powered it.

"I couldn't stay away from you for another moment," I told her honestly in a deep voice. She raised a delicate eyebrow at me curiously. "You're so beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said with a small smile. I took a step closer to her, a very large step. I could easily lean in and kiss those beautiful lips again. She didn't back away from me, but watched me curiously, like she was searching for something in my eyes. The music changed, and I held out my hand, leaning in close to her and giving her my most powerful smile.

"May I have this dance?" I asked her.

"I can't dance." She didn't look away, and it wasn't an actual refusal. Good enough for me.

I took her hand gently. "It's okay. I can."

I led her out to the middle of the room, and once again the crowed parted for her. She didn't belong here, in this old building decorated in cheesy spider webs and pumpkins, she belong in a castle, in a marble ball room being worshiped like a queen. She didn't pull away, I felt her hand squeeze onto mine, and I wanted to rip off those gloves so that I could feel the electric tingle of her skin on mine. I stopped, spinning her towards me and raising our entwined hands as I placed my other on her tiny waist. The heat of her skin radiated through her corset. She gasped a little at the fast movement, but she didn't look away from my eyes as I lead her in a classical waltz as soon as the music changed. I blocked out all of the minds of those who watched us, and there was no one else in the room except for her. She let me spin her around, and when I lifted her up to twirl her she let out the most entrancing, beautiful laugh. She was light as air in my arms. By the time the song ended, her face was flushed, her smile dazzling, and she seemed completely shocked when the room broke into applause. The music went to something more modern, and others joined us on the now established dance floor. I lifted her hands, placing them on my shoulders as I wrapped both of mine around her waist.

"I really didn't think you would come," she whispered, knowing I would be able to hear. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

"I thought you wouldn't want to see _me_ anymore."

"How could you possibly think that?"

"Because I wanted to make you like me. Because you said you didn't want to join us."

She looked at me with sad eyes for a moment, and I held her just a little bit closer. "Maybe we should talk outside."

I nodded, and followed closely behind her as she led me out of the building. Esme and Alice gave us worried looks. Once we were alone, she stopped and turned to look at me. I wanted so badly to pull her back into my arms, but without the excuse of the music I didn't feel quite as brave. This was important, I couldn't afford to scare her away right now. "Just because I don't want to become what you are, doesn't mean that I don't want to be around you. Alice and the others seem fine with it, and we were fine before all of this came out. Why does it have to change my friendship with you?"

She was right. Really, nothing has changed. For her. She never said she didn't want to be around me, she said she didn't want to be like me. "There's something that I have to tell you. I couldn't bring myself to even be in your presence because I don't deserve to. I've been putting it off because I'm afraid that once I do, I'll never see you again."

"Well, here we are. Just tell me and we'll find out." Her voice was gentle, and her face was calm as she spoke. It isn't fair that she had a silent mind and such an un-readable face.

"When you lived in Seattle, after you were thrown down the stairs, you know that Carlisle was the one that operated on you."

"How did you know that?" She asked in surprise, her voice was uncomfortable.

"Because Carlisle-"

"No. How did you know that I was thrown?" I paused, realizing I had gotten caught in my first sentence, but this was part of the story. "There is only one person in the world who I have ever told that to." Her voice was an almost angry hiss.

I tried to word it properly, losing my momentum. Her face once again took on the neutral, patient mask, but it was very forced. "My kind... the blood of every human smells different to each of us, some stronger than others. There is a rare type, for centuries they've been called 'Singers,' because the pull, the attraction to it is so strong that it's as if it's singing to your very soul. I was supposed to be the one operating on you that day. When you came in, bleeding all over the place, I almost killed you right there. My family was able to get me away from you, and as soon as I was in clean air, I was completely enraged with myself. How could I have almost killed this young, completely defenceless and dying child that needed my help?

"But as I was running away, I ran into a man whose thought's caught my attention. Because it was your face I saw in his mind. I watched the memory play. The argument, how you stood your ground,, and what he did. In a fit of rage, I ran forward and broke his neck. Alice was too late in stopping me, and I had to set it up to look like an accident."

Her shock didn't even show on her face. Was this something that she somehow knew already too? She just stared at me silently for minutes. I had no words left though, there was nothing I could change. I just hung my head in shame and waited.

It had been five minutes and seventeen seconds of painful silence. "I forgive you." I looked up at her quiet words, and stared at her in confusion. She gave me a sad smile when she realized that I couldn't seem to find any words. "You say you saw what he did to me?" I nodded. "That wasn't the first time he had hurt me, by far Edward. That man wasn't my father, I lived in fear of him for eight years before you met him. If you hadn't done what you did, it wouldn't have been the last time he hurt me either."

"But I made you an orphan, it's because of me that-"

She silenced me my putting one of her small, gloved hands on my arm. "I forgive you Edward. I'd be lying if I said my life was easy after that, but it was still better than being subjected to living with him for another two years. It's a horrible thing to say, but I've never missed him a day in my life. I don't hold this against you."

"Thank you Isabella. And I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

She smiled again. "You don't have to say anything. Though…"

"What?" Of course there is something else, this was too good to be true.

"Is that why you left Forks just before I moved there? Because of my blood?"

"Yes."

"Isn't it hard then? Being around me?"

"It was at first, but I love _you_ more than the smell of your blood now."

Those words just came out, without any thought at all. I saw the pain in her eyes, those always careful eyes. "Edward. This really isn't fair to you. I… I care about you, but I'm always going to be in love with Jacob. Maybe it would be better if we didn't-"

"What if I'm okay with that?" No, it wouldn't be better if we didn't see each other anymore. Even if all she allowed me was her friendship, I couldn't bear the thought of not being in her life. I would give her anything she wanted. She looked at me uncertainly. "You know how I feel about you, I would never deny it. And it will never change. But I won't ask anything from you other than to keep me in your life. I will give you anything you want, anything in the world, just to include me in yours." The guilt in her face was painful to watch, so obvious that I didn't need Jasper's gift to see the depth of it. She was too good. I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my hands delicately around the tops of her arms. "_Please_."

She gave me one small nod, and it was enough to make my heart fly. I wrapped my arms around her and she let me hold her for a long moment before speaking. "I'm sorry, but I am technically still working right now, I have to go back inside."

I let her go and gave her a happy smile before she turned and walked back towards the building, still wearing that look of guilt.

My family had heard the entire conversation, and Esme especially was smiling grandly at me. There were no more secrets now, and she hadn't turned us away.

And there was a chance. I know she loved him, but she said she cared about me. I had felt it once before, the last time I had seen her. That little spark of affection that she felt solely for me. It was different from the way she cared about the rest of my family, and I had her entire life to work on strengthening it.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her the entire evening while she worked. She greeted and chatted with that gentle, polite smile that she always wore, and it was so frustrating, not only for me but Jasper as well, that we didn't know what she was actually feeling. She filled drinks, picked up empty plates, and tended to her other tasks.

Her boss, one of my patients actually, was working even harder. Too hard, I thought worriedly, she wasn't supposed to be pushing herself like this. She dashed around the room taking donations, trying to keep rowdy guests in line, protecting her beloved literature and entertaining. She tired herself out so much that she ended up losing her voice, and had to ask Isabella to announce the winners of the silent auction.

It was harder for me than it was for her, watching her up there on the small platform.

The only sign she showed of her discomfort was the bright shade of red on her cheeks and the shake in her hands as she gripped the paper. Her voice was strong and clear as she spoke, but even through its gentleness it held an air, a strength that demand attention. She was captivating, and I wasn't nearly the only man that thought so. Jasper had to put a comforting, and restraining hand on my arm to keep me composed and flooded me with calm. It did nothing to drown out the angering thoughts though.

Once she was done announcing the winners, she practically fled the platform and I made sure to be the first person to reach her, smiling slightly that my presence alone was able to deflect the other men who had the same intention.

If they were too weak to fight for her, then they didn't deserve her company. She looked relieved to see me there, putting a gentle hand on my arm and leaning forward while she let out a shaky breath. "Oh my god, that has to be the most painfully embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life," she said with a laugh. I was distracted by the fact that she was just touching me so casually. She smiled, then looked shocked as she pulled her hand away from me, like she hadn't even realized that she had reached out. Blood flooded her cheeks again, and she slipped off her gloves and started fanning herself with them. We were joined by Alice and Jasper.

Alice danced to her side, stepping into the space between her and I and looping her arm through Isabella's. She seemed to relax as she leaned into Alice with a smile.

"Belle! It's so perfect. I can't believe you made this, where-" Alice didn't notice immediately, but I had been staring into her eyes when she used the name and saw the flinch of pain. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry." She smiled again, the sad look was quickly replaced with a happy one. "It's silly. That was kind of my nickname back in Forks, everyone always called me that. It's just been so long since I've heard it. Even with the costume, you're the first person to say it tonight," she said with an embarrassed grin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"No no, it's really okay. It's nice hearing it again."

"Good! Because I _see_ it sticking. But I can't believe you made this, you did such an amazing job. I especially love the broach."

"Thank you Alice. The broach was my mother's actually, she got it from her grandmother so my… great great grandmother. Want to hear something cool?"

"Of course!"

She leaned in close to her with an excited smile, "I told them I wouldn't sell the broach, but I just sold the dress to someone for three-thousand dollars."

"What! Why?"

She frowned. "For the charity of course, I hadn't listed it but apparently the woman wants to use it as a costume for some TV show. Oh, it's going to buy so many books… Oh there's my boss! I'll be right back, I just want to tell her." She dashed across the room, and I cringed as she almost tripped over her skirt. We watched as her boss practically cried when she told her, pulling her into a hug.

"I would have paid ten easily," Alice said in a growl, making us laugh. I was disappointed too, I would have enjoyed seeing her wear it again.

**. . . . .**

**Isabella**

The building started to clear out as it got late, and after I said good bye to Alice and the others I scanned the room for Edward. He was watching me with a small smile, but his gaze suddenly flashed to the other side of the room where my boss was leaning against the wall. The three of us were the only ones in the room, and he flashed to her side. I ran over to join them.

"Katharine, I've told you before that you can't do long shifts like this. You should go lie down before you give yourself a stroke," he said in a worried tone.

"No no, I'll be fine, it won't take long to-"

"It's okay Kat, I can do the cleanup, really. It won't take me long."

"No, I couldn't-"

"Katharine, as your Doctor I'm ordering you to bed rest immediately."

"She just lives next door, can you walk her home Edward?"

"Of course. Come on, let's get you out of here." I watched with a worried expression as he wrapped an arm around her waist and slowly led her out. Once they were gone, I grabbed a bag and started picking up trash. I heard the door open when he came back fifteen minutes later. I went to run to him, but in the blink of an eye he was right in front of me.

"Is she okay? What's wrong with her?"

He gave me a sad smile. "Yes, she'll be fine. She's one of my patients, and gets sick from one of her medications sometimes. She'll be fine after a bit of rest."

I sighed in relief. I didn't know she was taking medication for anything, and of course I couldn't ask him why she was taking something. I would make sure to keep a closer eye on her though. "Thank you Edward. You can head out too if you want, I totally lied when I said this wasn't going to take long."

"If you don't mind, I'd really like to stay and help."

I laughed, "Sure, if you really want to." He followed me over to my box of trash bags, and I handed him one while I started clearing the first table in the corner. I picked up all of the empty plates and garbage, throwing them into the bag, then washed the table with disinfectant wipes. I turned around to do the next one, and was shocked. It was sparking clean.

I turned around, and stared in disbelief. I couldn't have been working on that table for more than three minutes, and in that time Edward had already picked up every single piece of trash in the room. I stared with an amused smile as he flashed across the room, putting all the tables back to where they had been this morning. He was moving too fast for me to even see, and I couldn't help but laugh. The sound seemed to freeze him, and he looked surprised to find me watching him.

He smiled. "Now that didn't take long at all, did it?"

"Very impressive. I'll give you a call next time I need to rake leaves," I said jokingly. He appeared by my side, taking the garbage bag out of my hand.

"So, now that this is all done, are you free for the evening?"

It was the least I could do, after he saved me a couple hours of cleaning. That hopeful look in his eyes set that feeling of guilt in my stomach once more though. "Sure, just give me a second to get changed."

"Why?" It looked like the idea upset him, and I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Because I can't fit through my truck door in this dress. I'll be right back."

It was a bit of a lie, it took some time to loosen the corset enough to be able to slip it off. I got changed back into my jeans and t-shirt, and threw on my sweater before pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I hung the dress up carefully on the coat rack in the office, and went out to find him leaning against the wall casually. All of the garbage bags were gone. He followed me outside and I locked the doors behind us before walking to the parking lot.

"Where's your car?"

"I got a lift over with Alice, I had just planned on running home," he said casually. So I led him over to my truck and drove over to my place.

Despite all of the baking I had done, I quickly realized I hadn't eaten anything today during the short drive home. Edward made himself comfortable on my couch while I made myself a sandwich, and I sat down to join him. I couldn't help my eyes from flickering towards him repeatedly. His costume... he looked every bit a part of that era. He was eying the picture on my mantle though. It was a group picture of my entire pack; Leah, Seth, Embry, Paul, Quil and Claire, Sam hugging Emily, and Jake holding me in his arms in the center of the group. We all were in our bathing suits, smiling grandly as Billy took the picture. Yes, he hadn't been to my house since we came out in the open.

"You all look so close," he stated.

"We were, they're my family," I told him sadly. "I miss them all, every day."

"Why did you leave?" He asked me gently, cautiously.

"It was too hard, after Jacob died. I had planned on going back eventually, so our child would know his family. But after I lost him… I felt too ashamed. My child would have been their next leader, and it became apparent that no one I cared about was safe around me anymore. I love them too much to risk them getting hurt. They're safer without me there." I looked over at him then, watching me with a pained expression.

My heart clenched painfully. They told me they didn't want me to leave, even with the knowledge of my curse, but it was no one's fault but my own for staying. Would these vampires be strong enough to survive being around me? Was I really selfish enough to risk it, just to not be alone?

He was next to me in a flash, so close he was almost touching me. He spoke with deep conviction, "You won't lose us Isabella. You don't need to be worried about our safety." I shook my head, but couldn't seem to speak. "No, don't you dare think of trying to leave us because you think it's for our own good or any nonsense like that. Because we will just track you down and drag you back."

He said it in a joking tone, but I could see in his eyes that he was completely serious.

"Okay," I whispered. He watched me closely for a long moment before nodding. He must have noticed that I became a little uncomfortable from the proximity, because he slid back to his previous spot and flicked on the TV. I tried to concentrate on finishing my sandwich.

**Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Gift

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter seventeen :: Gift**

**Isabella**

"Let me know if it's getting too heavy," I warned, taking off the last locknut. Rosalie laughed.

"You're being ridiculous," she said in a bored voice. She was sitting cross-legged in my garage, holding up the front of my truck with one hand while she flipped through a magazine. The snow had started to fall once again, and I needed to get my winter tires back on. I set down the last nut in the little magnetic tray I had, and shimmied off the wheel.

"Ugh-" It was _heavy_, and I put a little too much force into trying to pull it off, so once it came loose I toppled backwards. Rose couldn't help me without dropping my truck though, and she hadn't really been watching me, so I landed on my ass, trapped underneath it. God, I needed to start lifting weights or something. I should at least be able to lift a goddamn tire.

"Shit, sorry," Rose said, gently setting down my truck and lifting the tire off of me quickly.

"Not your fault that I apparently have no arm muscles," I muttered grumpily. My butt felt like one giant bruise already. She offered me a hand, pulling me to my feet so quickly that I got a bit of a head rush. "It's really not fair that you can hold up my truck like it weighs nothing at all when I can't even carry a stupid tire."

"It _does_ weight nothing at all," she said with a smile, and I shot her an angry look. She just laughed.

"You ladies need a hand?" Edward asked, walking into my garage.

"No, we're fine," I said, frustrated as I walked over to start on another tire. Rose grabbed the back of my shirt, holding me in place.

"Yes actually, hold up the bumper for me so our little human doesn't break her tail bone," Rose said. I sighed in defeat, knowing there was no way Edward would let me do another tire after seeing me fall in her mind. He elegantly folded himself onto the floor and lifted up the bumper while I walked over to the other wheel. Rose jumped in front of me. I scowled at her, shaking my wrench in front of her beautiful face.

"You can take the wheel, but keep your claws off of my nuts," I said with a growl, and we both immediately burst into giggles. We finished quickly, but as soon as the task was done she had to leave to meet Emmett, leaving me alone with Edward.

That was normal though, I spent a lot of time with Edward. As much as I did with Alice really, which was nearly every day. As the weeks flew by and our conversation moved further into the past, my fear for them, and the guilt that accompanied it had less of a hold on me every day. It was so hard to not just be happy in their presence.

Even with the situation with Edward. I knew he loved me, still loved me, it was there in his eyes every time he looked at me. It was hard to feel bad when he just seemed so happy all of the time though. It was rare when that charming, crooked smile wasn't glued to his face.

"I have no idea what to get any of them for Christmas," I told him sadly, dropping next to him on my couch after cleaning up. I picked at the bits of grease still trapped under my nails with a nail file.

"You don't have to get any one anything," he told me gently. He was flicking through the channels on the TV, but I was very much aware that he was watching me. I could feel it. I waved off his useless comment.

"What are you getting them? Please tell me you're not buying Alice another car, because there is no way I can compete with that."

He laughed. "No, I got her some tickets to a fashion show in Paris next spring. That was the theme for my presents this year. I got Esme and Carlisle tickets to the opera, Rose for an automotive showcase in Toronto, and tickets for Emmett and Jasper to a Metallica concert in Ottawa." I sighed in frustration, covering my face. "You really don't need to worry about it, the holiday really isn't a big deal for us. We've been through so many of them that we've really slacked off on the day."

"I can't just not get them anything, I'd feel horrible. What are you supposed to buy someone who-Oh!" I smiled at the idea, deciding quickly that it was the right way to go. "Never mind. I got an idea."

He leaned in close, that frustrated look he got whenever he wanted to know what I was thinking furrowing his brow. I got that look a lot. "What is it?"

"Nope, can't tell you. Alice might see." I smiled sweetly at him.

"But I told you mine," he argued.

"Alice probably already knew though. Mine's a theme too, if I tell you one then she might know all. And when was the last time Alice got a surprise for Christmas, surely you wouldn't want to ruin that for her?"

He rolled his eyes, and went back to clicking the remote. I was curious about what he said though, and wondered just how many holidays they had spent together. I don't even know what year he was born in.

"Alice said that you're twenty-two."

"Yup."

"How long have you been twenty-two?"

He smiled, putting down the remote. "Eighty-five years." I gave a low whistle. "Is that too weird?"

"Not really, it's just kind of hard to wrap my mind around. That's like… a hundred and seven years. Where were you from?"

"Chicago. I was born there in 1898."

I loved hearing these stories, and had wanted to hear his for a long time. I was just so busy all of the time though, I'd never gotten the opportunity to ask him his. I flipped over onto my stomach, rested my chin in my palms. "Tell me more. Everyone else has told me their stories." I immediately felt horrible though. "I'm sorry, only if you're comfortable that is, I don't want to-"

He laughed. "No, it's okay. Hmm. So, born in Chicago, I lived in the same town most of my human life, except for when I went to school,"

"To be a Doctor?"

"No, lawyer. I hated it, but it's what my father did and what he wanted me to do. I was in my last year when the Spanish influenza hit, both of my parents got sick and I went home to be with them, and was immediately hit with the disease myself. Both of my parents passed away from the sickness. Carlisle was working as a Doctor there at the time, and had been alone for over two hundred years. He had been playing with the idea of turning someone just for the companionship, but couldn't bring himself to end a life. But when he saw me, so close to death already and completely alone, he did it. And I've been with him ever since. I'm glad it happened at the age it did though, most places we go to I usually either act as a college student or work. I'm glad I don't have to repeat high school repeatedly like the rest of them. Being trapped with the thoughts of hundreds of adolescents would drive me mad."

I joined him in his laughter. "I don't blame you, I've only done it once, and even graduating a year early I still found it torturous. I loved the learning part, but the whole social structure of it, not my cup of tea."

"You graduated early?"

"Yeah, ended up skipping a grade. Forks was the best and worst part though. I just had a bit more than a semester left, but almost everything was just a repeat of what I had studied in Seattle. But, I made a friend there, which was something I hadn't been able to accomplish before. It was nice."

"Who was your friend?"

"Angela Webber."

He smiled. "I remember her, met her once at the hospital. She had a very gentle mind. If you had done the materials already, why couldn't you just graduate and go to college early?"

"I had thought about it, but couldn't afford it at the time. I wasn't able to access my trust fund until I was eighteen, so I just stuck with it for entertainment really. School was my escape, I would have been lost without it."

"Have you thought anymore about trying at college again?"

"A little bit. I think I'll go eventually, but I'm not in a rush to do anything just yet." It had been fifteen months, and though the pain hadn't faded away, I became more accustomed to it. Life had still managed to move on, the time was proof of that, and with that time brought happy moments. There were things that made me smile, things that brought happiness into my life, sometimes even things that made me laugh. Life wasn't completely meaningless anymore which gave me hope, but I still needed more time. The thought of anything more than trying to maintain my job right now frightened me. My hobbies were like a medication for me, working on my little property, going to the firing range, working on my car or just actually relaxing with Alice or Edward. If I didn't have the time to use them as an outlet I think I would go crazy.

"I think you'd really like it."

"How many times have you gone to college?"

"Hmm, that's a bit more difficult to answer. We can't normally stay in a place for much more than three years, and it takes much longer than that to become a licensed physician. So I'd do a few courses in one place, then in another, a lot of night schools and correspondence. There's also a lot of document forgery mixed in there too. I haven't actually been working long though, just the last five years. First in Alaska, then in Seattle, Forks and here. I took a bunch of other things to break it up though and make it interesting, something I wouldn't have been able to do in many high schools. Music, art, literature. I've only personally attended twelve different colleges. Sometimes it's nice to just do nothing for a decade or so, you know? Just enjoy things."

I laughed. Oh yes, of course I knew what it's like to just take a _decade_ off. Wow. I couldn't go without some sort of work though, something central and stable to focus my life around. Even with my wide array of hobbies I would still go crazy of boredom. I loved listening to him when he talked like this. His train of thought was so constant and excited that he just got carried away sometimes, I found it really entertaining.

"Alice says she can't remember her life as a human, but that it wasn't the same for the rest of you. Do you remember much? From before?"

"I do but… It's weird. After the change, your senses all become so much more amplified, and the way that you see your human memories… It's not easy to remember, but if you try hard enough it's possible. All the memories from before kind of take on this fuzzy, false quality though."

"Is it hard for you? Not being able to remember well?" Yes, it was painful remembering the people I had lost, but I wouldn't want to give up those memories for anything.

"No, I find it makes the whole thing a bit easier really." I nodded, I couldn't really hold his opinion against him. We were just different in that way. "I do wish that I could remember my mother better though. The best images that I have of her are the ones in Carlisle's memory, and she was very sick by that time already. She's what I miss the most."

The fact that he missed his mother shouldn't have comforted me, and I felt bad that it did for some reason. "What was her name?"

"Elizabeth," he said with a small smile. I looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"Elizabeth was my mother's name as well," I said with a smile. He seemed to think that was cool too.

"You said you were eight when she passed, do you remember much about her?"

"Yes and no. We were very close, and I have a lot of memories and pictures but… I can't remember the sound of her voice, and I feel like the memory of her fades a little more each day."

He wanted to know everything I remembered about her, and I was surprised to find that it wasn't painful sharing these memories with him. For some reason I felt completely comfortable telling him everything I could think of, and actually smiling at the memories. I told him more about her little home business, how she had taught me to sew and cook, loved doing crafts and would read to my every night. She always had a smile on her face. We stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking without even realizing, and had even ended up showing him my photo album with all my photos of the two of us.

**. . . . .**

Once November came around, the snow followed soon after. I had no projects left that I could do inside, I had rebuilt my entire house already and I loved it, and now I didn't have my outdoor projects to work on either. I enjoyed spending time with Alice and Edward, but it made me restless just sitting around and talking all the time.

So I started taking some yoga classes at the community center to try and help myself relax. I went to six classes before I stopped, I couldn't relax in a room with so many people surrounding me. It was like every day that strange feeling I got from being around people, feeling their presence, grew a little bit stronger, and I was just too uncomfortable working in a group of strangers. It was also very embarrassing, with my horrible balance I was constantly falling over. I had learned a lot from those few classes though, and started doing them at home. It was much better then, and I found that it really made a difference after a while, making me feel just a little bit calmer. On my bad days I would usually spend some time on it in the evening as well, and I went to the ranges at least once a week. I was a good shot, and wanted to keep it that way. It became part of my daily routine, and I would spend at least an hour every morning when I woke up going through the familiar motions before I did anything else.

I was keeping busy at work too, because it was the one place where my friends never surprised me. My job was my personal thing, and they seemed to understand that. There was lots of down time as usual, but now I was using the time to work on my Christmas presents instead of random reading. I realized that there really was nothing out there that I could buy them that they didn't already have, so I was just going to make them things. It was stupid, but I thought I should at least be able to get a laugh or smile out of them.

And then there were my vampires. I would see at least one of them every day, even if it was only for a few minutes. At the top of that list was Alice as always, it was rare that I went a day without seeing my best friend. She was so easy to be around, and though we usually always had something to talk about we were completely comfortable just sitting in silence together and doing practically nothing. I was just as comfortable around her as I was by myself, and she was the only person I would let come over even on my bad days. I was happy really, for a lot of the time. There were some days though where I would just feel too sad to even get out of bed to go to work. Yes, I had found other things in life besides my want for revenge that I felt were worth living for, but there was no way to completely heal from the pain of missing them, missing _him_. That was the worst part, my love for Jacob never faded. I knew it never really would. No one ever visited on those days except for Alice, and I felt like she might have been keeping them away from me on purpose. I was grateful. Even though she couldn't really see my future, she knew me better than anyone now and always seemed to know what I needed. Sometimes she would get me out to go for a long drive in her car, or we'd just sit and watch movies while curled up in blankets all day, and sometimes she would just lie quietly with me on my bed in the dark. She had even taken me out to the middle of nowhere once before with a giant bag of cans and threw them in the air for me to shoot.

Edward was a close second on that list. He was still giving me a piano lesson every week, but he came over for short visits with Alice often and sometimes would just pop over alone and talk or I would see him when I went over to their place. I found out that he really did spend most of his time there, but I didn't blame him for wanting his own place for escape with his ability. I felt like I could kind of sympathize with him. I would usually try to go over at least twice a week so I could see the others as well, but every once in a while one of them would come visit me too. They definitely helped keep me busy. Time continued to go by, and things were good.

**. . . . .**

I woke up to my phone ringing, and saw that it was just after six. I usually wasn't up for another half an hour, but I got up quickly to answer the phone. I coughed to clear my throat before picking up. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabella, sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to call to say that the library will be closed today and not to come in."

"Oh. Umm, okay. Why?"

"Have you looked outside?"

I walked over to my front window and pushed back the curtain. "Oh. Wow. Well thanks, I probably would have gotten ready without even noticing." It had been snowing heavily last night, but I wasn't expecting this. It was still coming down, and it looked like we had gotten at least three feet.

"No problem, I wanted to make sure you didn't attempt to drive over in it. Well, enjoy your time off! I'll see you after the Holidays."

"You too care, take care." It was Friday, and I had all of next week off. I wasn't sure if I was excited or nervous about having all that time off yet. After putting the phone back on its stand, I walked back over to my front window.

It was still really dark outside, and completely silent. My surroundings looked so untouched, there weren't even any tire tracks on the road, just a smooth sheet of pristine snow over everything. The whiteness of it was almost glowing, and it looked so magical.

I excitedly ran into my room and got changed. I didn't have any water-proof pants, but I put of a pair of thermals underneath a thick pair of jeans, pulled on a sweater, and dug out my old winter coat. After getting on a pair of winter boots, a toque and a pair of gloves I ran into my back yard. I practically dove into the snow from the steps of my patio, and the loud crunch seemed to echo into the woods. I fanned out my arms and legs, making a snow angel, but didn't get up afterwards. I just stared at the thick snowflakes as they slowly fell from the dark sky, getting lost in the silence.

I didn't even move when I felt him coming towards me, but he stopped by my head, leaning over me and watching me with a curious smile.

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"Absolutely nothing," I whispered back, smiling at him. It felt wrong to speak at a normal volume and ruin the silence. His smile grew, and he dropped into the snow beside me.

We laid there in silence for a long time, and if I hadn't been able to feel his presence I would have had no idea that he was there. His breath didn't make little puffs of white in the air above him like mine did.

Eventually my teeth started to chatter a little while the snow soaked through my jeans and I knew that I would have to get up. He heard it obviously, and was standing once more, this time by my feet. He watched me for a full minute though, some look of deep thought on his face before he held out a hand for me. I smiled and took it, and he easily pulled me up in one quick motion. It gave me a head rush and I swayed slightly, but he put a gentle hand on my lower back to steady me. I looked up at his face once more.

He was so _close_. He was practically holding me to his side, his face just above mine and while looking up at him I managed to get lost in his eyes. They were so beautiful, just like Alice's and Carlisle's. And his face… it was a very handsome face. He had that intense look in his eyes, a hunger almost, and it was captivating. A slow smile crept onto his face, and my cheeks flooded with red when I realized I had been staring at him. I turned around quickly and looked at where we had been laying in the snow. He hadn't made an angel like I had, there was just a perfect outline of him in the snow. I hadn't noticed that his hand had been so close to mine, barely an inch away from my fingertips. His impression looked so big next to mine. After a small smile, I turned around and started trying to make my way through the waist high snow to my back door.

"Would you like to come in?" I asked him, holding the door open. He nodded and came inside. I kicked off my boots and hung my jacket off of the doorknob by the back door, figuring that it would be better for them to drip dry over the tiles then on my pretty hardwood floor. After that, I looked around my house quickly.

No, this was wrong. I started my day all wrong, and it made me uneasy. I took a deep, calming breath, and when I opened my eyes Edward was watching me with a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry, it's stupid… but I have a very set morning routine and I messed it all up this morning and it makes me feel off." I didn't want to send him away though, it felt nice having someone here while I was pretty much stranded in my house.

"Sorry, I can go and leave you to-"

"No, that's okay. I'll be fine, I'll uh, just…" Why was my breathing coming so quickly? I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't seem to calm down. After a minute I realized that I had started to hyperventilate, and leaned over my Island to stop the room from spinning. What was wrong with me?

"Hey! Shh, you're okay Isabella," he said in a calming voice from right next to me. I looked up at him in panic, I had no idea what was going on with me. He cupped my face in his hands, holding my gaze. "Just breathe. In, and then out." He made the exaggerated movement, repeating it again and again and I tried to match it. It took a little while, but eventually the panic evaporated and my breathing slowed back down.

"I'm so sorry, I have no idea what's wrong with me," I told him, humiliated that he had just seen whatever that was. He was still holding my face gently in his hands.

"You just had a small panic attack Isabella, there's nothing wrong with you. Do you feel okay now?" His voice was so gentle, soothing. I nodded once, and when I shivered slightly he let me go. I realized that I was disappointed by that, and it had been my cold pants, not his hands that had made me shiver. My face felt hot almost, filled with a tingling feeling almost like electricity. It was so weird, I never got that feeling when touching Alice or anyone else, just him. "Would you mind if I hung out and watched some TV while you try to right your morning schedule?"

I smiled happily. "Not at all, I might take a little while though. Are you sure you won't be too bored?"

"I'm never bored when I'm close to you," he said automatically. He seemed surprised by his own words, and a little flustered. He quickly turned around, and folded himself down on the rug in front of my TV. His clothes were soaked too, and I felt bad that I didn't have anything to offer him. There was no way he'd fit into anything I owned, and the picture in my mind of him trying made me laugh. I quickly ducked into my room.

I didn't bother closing my door, I liked the white noise that the TV provided. I grabbed a dry shirt and my yoga pants, slipping them on in the washroom and throwing the wet clothes into the hamper. I unrolled my thick purple yoga mat, and got a proper start to my day. After my hour was done, I felt much more calm, and happily jumped into a nice warm shower before getting ready. I felt Edward moving around while I was in the bathroom, it seemed like he was in my front yard for a while, and had even disappeared altogether for about three minutes. I didn't panic again though, feeling much more centered, but was relieved when he had come back. I got dressed in a comfy pair of my nice jeans, and threw on a long sleeved shirt and a sweater before blow-drying my hair and putting it into a nice braid. When I was finished I went and joined him on the couch, he was wearing a different pair of dry clothes now, and smiled when he saw me. "Feel better?"

"Much," I said, still feeling embarrassed. More like humiliated that someone had actually witnessed my little episode of weakness. "I'm really-"

"Nope, don't even apologize," he said, cutting me off. I gave him a small smile, then got up to make myself a cup of tea and piece of toast. "So, I take it you're not going into work today?"

"Nope, Kat's keeping the library closed because of the snow. So, looks like I get an early start to my vacation." I was glad that I had brought back all of the gifts I had made last weekend when I had finished. They were all wrapped and hiding in my closet right now.

"So, what do you have planned for the day then?"

Realization hit me then, and the thought of sitting here trapped in my house with nothing to do was horrifying. "Nothing," I said in a frustrated tone, lying down on the couch and covering my face.

"Would you like to go over to the house and see everyone?"

I smiled at the idea, but realized it would be impossible to get over there today. "I'd love to, but there's no way I can drive in this snow. Not until the plows are up and running anyways," I said sadly.

"We don't have to drive… I could give you a lift if you want?" His voice had an odd tone of nervousness in it. This would be horrible for his car, I was surprised he'd even offer, but then I heard the real meaning in his words. Oh! I sat up and looked at him. Yes, he looked nervous, but also hopeful. I thought about it for a long moment. Yes, I definitely wanted to get out of the house, but to do what he was suggesting, I would have to be very close to him, touching him. I'd have to wrap my arms around him tightly and hold him. Did I want to do that?

My mind's immediate answer worried me a little. Yes, I very much did want to do that.

"Okay, just let me grab a coat." I said in a completely neutral voice. I bet he could hear how my heart was beating just a little bit faster though.

I grabbed my leather jacket and slipped on a pair of boots, and he was waiting for me by my back door. I zipped up my jacket, locked the door behind us and put my key in a secure pocket. I turned and looked at him nervously, but couldn't help a small smile when I took in his excited one. "So, umm… how do you want to do this?" My face was flaming. He smiled, and took a knee, signalling for me to hop on. Shaking slightly, I walked over and wrapped my arms around his neck. He stood up easily, and my legs were left dangling beneath me a few feet off of the ground. Before today I never really noticed how much taller he was than me.

"You might want to hold on a little tighter than that," he said, placing a gentle hand on my arm around his neck. My nervous swallow sounded very loud in my ears, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. It felt so… intimate. "Perfect," I could hear the smile in his voice, and was glad that he couldn't see my face. "Ready?" I couldn't speak, and just nodded.

And then we were moving. He made it from my back porch to the tree line in one elegant leap, and then everything was a blur. The wind whipped harshly at my face, and I buried it into his neck to protect it. He smelt good, and I mean _really_ good. It was hard to place what it reminded me of really. Sunshine, honey, the smell of a new book and lilacs. It was intoxicating. I felt him shiver slightly when I exhaled against his neck.

It seemed like it was over in two minutes though, and when I looked up we were standing by the front door. I let go before he had crouched down to let me off, and the long drop threw me off balance, making me land hard on my butt. His eyes were wide, excited, when he spun around, reaching for me. Instead of holding out his hand, he ducked down, wrapping both of his hands around my waist and standing me up. He didn't let go afterwards.

"Are you okay?"

I just stared at him for a minute, still a little dazed. "That was… amazing," I breathed. He smiled, and I couldn't help mirroring it.

A shocked look passed over his face quickly as he seemed to realize he was still holding me, very closely, and he dropped his hands. "Sorry," he said quickly, looking away and opening the door. I was close to telling him not to apologize, that I hadn't minded it, enjoyed it even, but Alice appeared in front of me and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so happy you're not working today! What do you want to do? OH, you have to let me try my new curling iron out on you!" She started pulling me up to her room. When I looked back, Edward was gone.

Alice sat me on the comfy chair in her bathroom and started messing with my hair. I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed really, she just loved this sort of thing so much and I liked making her happy. Rose would never let her touch her hair, and hers was really short, so she seemed to take a lot of joy from getting to play with mine.

"So, what's everyone else up to today?"

"Jasper and Emmett are out hunting right now, but they should be back soon. Esme's baking you something in the kitchen, Rose is in the garage, and Edward… it sounds like he's just watching TV."

"Don't you guys ever get bored?" As far as I knew Edward and Carlisle were the only ones that actually worked. Alice had stopped working at the hospital months ago, and the rest… I really had no idea what they did with all of their time.

She laughed. "Not really, we all have lots of hobbies. We were all supposed to go to college before you showed up to be honest, but the family is more entertained just being here right now. Also… time doesn't really pass the same way for us as it does for you. Our days aren't broken up with sleeping, it's more like one long day that doesn't end, but we'd be perfectly comfortable just standing still and thinking for an entire week really."

"Hmm." That was a weird concept to try to wrap my mind around.

"So, what did you get me for Christmas?" She asked, trying to sound casual. I laughed loudly, extremely pleased that she hadn't been able to see it. I just shook my head with a smile, and she sighed in frustration.

By the time she finished, my head was covered in thick, shiny curls that cascaded down my shoulders. Yes, I definitely looked like Alice's doll now. Their house was really warm, stifling almost, so I had taken off my long shirt and was just wearing a loose tank top. I couldn't bring myself to put the thick shirt back on, even though I felt pretty exposed.

"Alice… you guys have like, abnormal eye sight right?" I asked in a quiet whisper.

"Yes, why?" She asked, her tone was worried, and she sat down on the counter across from me. I tried to open my mouth to answer, but my breath caught in my throat. "Belle, what's wrong?"

I pulled in a shaking breath. "I can feel my scar on my stomach, the pain never really went away completely, and I just… I feel like people can actually see it, pressing against my clothes." I looked at her with watering eyes. "Can you see it?" I whispered, terrified.

She rested her hands on my knees. "No Isabella. No one can see it."

I sighed, trembling slightly still and rested my face in my hands. "Thanks."

"Is that why you're always wearing such baggy shirts all the time?" I nodded. "Well, you have absolutely nothing to worry about!" She pulled me up to my feet, and made me stand in front of her full length mirror. "Look, nothing. You look absolutely beautiful. No one besides myself or Carlisle has ever seen, but it's really not bad. You shouldn't let it worry you so much."

I stared at myself for a few minutes. I slid my hand down my stomach, and I could feel the raised line of it, but she was right. I couldn't actually see it, it just felt like I did. There was one thing that still bothered me a lot though. "Edward could have seen it in your minds."

She shook her head. "Nope, he's way too much of a gentlemen for that, he would have just blocked it out automatically." She sounded completely confident in her answer, and I relaxed a little more.

"Whatever Esme's cooking smells delicious," I said, forcing a smile on my face. "Let's go check it out." I tossed the sweater that I had been gripping tightly onto the back of her chair, and after she gave me a big smile of encouragement we went downstairs.

I realized belatedly that they probably would have all heard my conversation with Alice, but of course they were too polite to actually say anything. Esme cut me a giant piece of the warm brownie she had made, and I covered it in a big scoop of vanilla ice cream before we went over to the living room. I couldn't help myself as I went and sat next to Edward, even though he was pointedly not looking at me. I didn't know what to say to him really, so I just sat there quietly between him and Alice while eating. I tried hard to finish it, I still wanted to gain a few more pounds, but it was just too much for me. The second I had stood to bring my dish back to the kitchen, Esme was there and taking it out of my hands. I smiled, and dropped back onto the couch with a full stomach.

**. . . . .  
**

**Edward**

I crouched down so she could reach, and was practically shaking with excitement as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around my neck. The feel of her body pressed against my back was amazing, there were no other words. I stood up at my full height once again, and felt her shift slightly as her legs were dangling. I placed a hand over her hot arm, loving the feeling of it. Her arms weren't strong enough, she would fall off before I even made it out of her yard. "You might want to hold on a little tighter than that," I said, trying to hide the excitement in my tone. When she wrapped her legs around my waist I swear that my heart almost started beating again. If only I was turned around and facing her… I immediately threw the thought out of my mind, it was just too much. The desire for her body was so much more than the desire for her blood, and I couldn't allow it to overpower me. "Ready?"

I felt her nod, then with a nervous smile I shot off of her porch and into the trees. The snow was starting to let up, and the temperature was dropping so I wanted to get her there quickly. Though the wind felt as light as a feather on my face, I quickly realized that it would be much harsher on hers as she buried her face in my neck.

I felt her take a deep breath, and her heart rate rose slightly. Was she scared? When she exhaled, her warm, sweet breath cascaded against my exposed neck, and I shuddered from the arousing feeling. I was still distracted by it once I leapt up onto our front porch, and forgot to kneel to help her down immediately. She just let go, and I heard her connect with the wood below my feet. I spun around in an instant. Automatically, I wrapped my hands around her tiny waist and lifted her to her feet.

Her eyes were wide, so big and deep. Her cheeks were a bright red, and her breathing was a little elevated, and her hair a little messy from the wind. She was breathtaking.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. Her heat crashed against me in waves.

"That was… amazing," she said, excitement in her voice as she continued looking into my eyes. I heard Alice coming downstairs, and I realized I was still holding Isabella. My hands were still wrapped around her waist, holding her so close that her body was only inches away from mine. I quickly let go, chastising myself. She didn't see me that way, and I just couldn't afford to make her uncomfortable and scare her away. I needed her too much.

Alice pulled her upstairs, and I went and leaned on the counter while Esme was pulling things out of the cupboards. She stopped for a minute to look at me, and had her arms wrapped around me in a second. She was always able to tell when I was upset. _I'm so sorry dear, I wish there was something I could do to help. Are you okay?"_

I gave her a light squeeze back. "I'm okay, it's just hard sometimes." Loving her so completely and being so close to her, but not being able to just reach out and touch her like I wanted to. Constantly worrying that I would slip and drive her away. She hated seeing me upset, so I tried to put on a better smile for her. She was so happy for me for finally finding love, but heartbroken that my feelings weren't reciprocated. She knew that Isabella cared for me, and was positive that someday those feelings would grow and she would fall for me. _Just you wait and see_, she said with a smile. I couldn't help rolling my eyes. "It's okay though, really. Just being a part of her life makes me happy. I can deal with the rest." She gave me another hug, then started mixing things together in a giant bowl. I watched the process curiously, listening to her instructions in her mind. Isabella always loved Esme's food, maybe I could try making her making her something too. She seemed to like chocolate.

We both listened to the sounds of their voices upstairs as they talked. I could see Isabella's reflection in the mirror through Alice's mind, and couldn't help laughing. Esme eye me curiously. "You should see the look on Isabella's face right now. Her smile looks more like a grimace than anything else, Alice's has her hair all piled up on the top of her head right now, and her eyes look terrified. It's hilarious." Esme laughed, and I left out the other details. How her cheeks were that beautiful shade of red, making those enchanting eyes and lips stand out so much more against her pale skin. She had taken off her sweater, and was just wearing a simple white cotton tank top. Her skin was so smooth, flawless, the delicate curve of her collar bone and shoulders was hypnotizing. It was a rare sight, she was so conservative in her clothing choices. I watch the process as Alice slowly turned her hair into thick and soft curls. It looks so beautiful, and I imagined what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. Isabella stood up, smiling and thanking Alice. Her smile faded after a moment though, and she slowly wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Alice… you guys have like, abnormal eye sight right?"

She was surprised by the question, and the tone of her voice concerned her. She walked in front of her and hopped up on the counter. "Yes, why?" She opened her mouth as if to speak, but after a minute no words had come out still, and she closed it again. "Belle, what's wrong?"

She tried to take in a deep breath, and was shaking slightly. I was worried that she might have another anxiety attack and wanted to run up to them, but Alice shouted at me in her mind to stay away.

Her voice was very quiet, and something twisted painfully inside of me when I noticed her eyes were a little watery. "I can feel my scar on my stomach, the pain never really went away completely, and I just… I feel like people can actually see it, pressing up against my clothes." Her eyes were shimmering as she looked back up at Alice. "Can you see it?" She whispered in a terrified voice.

She rested her hands on Isabella's knees, and tried to show her as much sincerity as possible in her eyes. This explained a lot of her odd little behaviours, why she bought all these pretty shirts that she loved but would never actually wear them, how she seemed to grip the front of her shirt and hold it down a little, why this amazingly beautiful woman was so insecure with her body. "No Isabella. No one can see it."

She sighed, sitting back down and hiding her face in her hands, still shaking. "Thanks."

"Is that why you're always wearing such baggy shirts all the time?" She had to hear her say the words, because you really could never be completely sure with Isabella, and she nodded. "Well, you have absolutely nothing to worry about!" She pulled her to her feet, and led her in front of her full-length mirror, standing behind her and smiling. "Look, nothing. You look absolutely beautiful. No one besides myself or Carlisle has ever seen, but it's really not bad. You shouldn't let it worry you so much."

Alice watched as she concentrated on her reflection for a long moment before slowly sliding her hand across her stomach, stopping where I assumed her scar was. She still looked bothered. "Edward could have seen it in your minds."

That sentence shocked me. She was worried about me seeing her scar? Why? Those few words sent my mind spinning.

"Nope, he's way too much of a gentlemen for that, he would have just blocked it out automatically." I was thankful to Alice, she was completely right of course. I always forced myself to tune out for the sake of people's privacy, I would never take advantage of my gift like that.

"Whatever Esme's cooking smells delicious," Isabella told her with her usual polite mask on. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, but instead of putting her sweater back on, she just hung it over the back of the chair she'd been sitting on, leaving it there with her purse. "Let's go check it out." Alice smiled happily, and followed her out of the room. I dashed over to the couch and turned on the television before they even reached the stairs.

They both ran over to the kitchen, and Esme cut her a piece of the dark brown thing that she made. The two of them came and joined me, and Isabella walked up and sat right next to me on the couch. I had to hide the giant smile that tried to take over my face. Esme quickly cleaned up, and came to sit with us too, doodling in one of her sketch books and just enjoying the company.

Remembering that Isabella liked action movies, I stopped on a channel that was having a Star Wars marathon. I was pleased to see a small smile form on her lips, and once she finished with her food she relaxed into the seat of her couch. My gaze kept flickering to her out of the corner of my eye as we sat there all morning. Her small hands were just sitting in her lap, her legs curled under her. She was so small, and I wanted so badly to take one of those hands into mine. I made myself concentrate on the movie, trying to distract myself from the thought.

So I hadn't looked at her for a while, and completely froze when I felt her head against my arm. I turned my head slowly after a minute once I dared to look over.

"Did she fall asleep?" Esme asked in a shocked whisper.

"I think so," Alice said. "That's a first, she never falls asleep around people."

"Well, she looks very comfortable," Esme said with a giant smile. If I still had blood coursing through my veins my face would have turned beat red.

A slow smile crept onto my face. She looked so relaxed, so peaceful. My body was buzzing with her electricity, and burning in her heat. I didn't dare to move, though I so badly wanted to wrap my arm around her and hold her to my side and never let her go. I just took the rare occasion to enjoy looking at her so close to me. Rosalie came to join us eventually, and almost laughed when she saw the smile on my face. She quietly sat down with us, waiting for Emmett to get back.

And they did come back soon after, we hissed at them to be quiet as to not wake her up. Jasper sat down carefully next to Alice, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she cuddled up next to him, and sent me an apologetic smile when he felt my jealousy. I quickly caught onto what he was concentrating on and smiled. "Interesting."

"What?" Alice asked, looking between us.

"I can feel her emotions a little better right now than I usually can. It seems like her shield isn't as powerful when she's asleep." He looked at me curiously. _Can you?_

"No, not a single sound," I told him.

Jasper completely melted from the relaxed energy that she was emitting. We all sat quietly as we got into the movies that were playing, and Emmett and Rose had gotten into a heated, yet quiet debate on whether or not a Light-saber would be able to cut through a vampire.

I watched, amused, as a big smile spread across her sleeping face. "They're delicious Esme," she whispered happily. Esme's head darted over, and covered her mouth while she started laughing. Everyone turned to look at her with big grins. This was just too funny.

"She talks in her sleep!" She whispered delightedly. "And she's dreaming about my food!" Esme was beyond joyed, she couldn't believe her ears. I watched her expectantly to say something else, but not another word escaped her lips as her face relaxed again to my disappointment. We were almost through the second movie when Jasper sat up straighter. Isabella's mood had changed, though her expression had not. As the feeling of fear got stronger I saw her eyebrows furrow slightly. He felt my worry also. _It's probably just a bad dream, this is so weird. She'll be fine though._

I debated on whether or not to wake her up, but all of a sudden Jasper couldn't feel her anymore and her eyes shot open. She was frozen at my side for about thirty seconds, then sat up straight quickly. "Fuck," she said quietly, then her hands shot to her mouth in surprise. Emmett and I couldn't help but burst into laughter. It was just so hilarious to hear a word like that coming out of her. Her face turned bright red. "Oh my god this is so embarrassing. Sorry Edward, I can't believe I dozed off like that. You should have just woken me up."

"Sorry, but you just looked so comfortable and relaxed." She looked at me with those wide, beautiful eyes, and I kind of melted under her gaze and smiled. I just couldn't help it. Her face was still bright red but the corner of her mouth pulled up into a small smile before she relaxed back into the couch and started watching the movie again.

I immediately missed the contact. It was driving me crazy sitting this close to her now, knowing what I was missing. I battled internally with myself for an entire half hour while she sat there with her little smile watching the movie, but her gaze never flickered towards me. But, she hadn't moved away or tried to put more space between us when she had woken up either. She seemed embarrassed but not uncomfortable. That thought gave me a surge of courage, and I slowly lifted my arm and draped it behind her on the back of the couch, my thumb lightly resting against her bare shoulder. I panicked once she froze, but she didn't pull away. I watched her nervously, trying to make myself pull the arm away again, but it was hard. After a couple minutes, my smile spread once again when she relaxed. She didn't lean into my side like I prayed for, but she didn't run away. She was awake, and I was touching her, and she was allowing it.

_Way to go Ed!_ Emmett cheered with a mental laugh. I rolled my eyes, but there was no way to budge the proud smile I had on my face. No one looked over, but they had all noticed my move. Esme had a small smile on her face too.

She didn't move and inch throughout the whole third movie, even when Carlisle came home from work. He noticed immediately, giving us both a smile, and I felt the heat rush to her face at the gesture. I was worried he would scare her away, but she stayed until the end of the movie. Once the credits started rolling she looked over at me. I couldn't read her expression at all. "Would you be up for giving me a lift back home?"

"Of course," I said, trying to contain my excitement. Jasper wasn't fooled, and rolled his eyes at me. Isabella said goodbye to everyone and gave Alice a hug before walking to the front door. She slid on her boots, wrapped a scarf over her hair and around her neck, then pulled on her jacket and zipped it up.

That jacket looked really good on her, but I preferred her without the extra layer.

I held open the door for her and she walked out ahead of me, stopping by the stairs. I was worried again when I smiled at her, because the one she gave me in return looked really forced. I knelt down anyways, and she wrapped her arms around my neck again and clung to me with her legs. It had started to snow again and had warmed up a bit, so I ran a bit slower this time to give her the opportunity to be able to see a little better.

I stopped on her back porch, and she slid off more easily this time. She was sticking her key into the door, not looking at me when she invited me inside. I couldn't refuse. She went into her room and put on another sweater before coming and sitting next to me on the couch. She was sitting much too far away from me for my liking, and stared at her hands in her lap for a few moments quietly. She was obviously upset about something, and it was making me start to regret my actions.

"I'm sorry Isabella. I shouldn't have done that, I didn't mean to upset you." The words were quiet, but she heard and finally met my eyes.

"No Edward, you don't need to apologize. You didn't upset me."

"But you're obviously upset. What're you thinking about?" She looked down again, closing her eyes tightly. I couldn't take seeing her upset like this, and I fluidly shifted down the couch next to her, sliding a gentle finger under her chin and making her look at me. She once again didn't pull away, but it was a full moment before she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Please, talk to me."

I got lost in the depths of that warm brown as she stared back at me. "I didn't mind it, I liked it. I like being close to you Edward, but it still doesn't change anything. And I feel horrible about that, and guilty. I hate hurting you, but I don't want to be away from you. I don't know what to do."

I smoothed my thumb across her cheek, and she seemed to relax and lean into the feeling while closing her eyes. A single tear rolled down the side of her cheek. I slid my other arm behind her where she was leaning against the couch.

"Isabella," she opened her eyes, looking at me again, and I was able to see her pain now. This was torturing her as much as it was me. Just in different ways. "You don't have to do anything. Nothing at all. _This_," I placed my hand lightly on her back, sliding her a little closer to me. "It makes me so happy when you let me be close to you like this. You don't need to worry about hurting me, or worry about what I want. You don't need to do anything for me at all." I rubbed my thumb over her soft cheek again. "Just please don't push me away."

"I'm afraid that it's going to be too much for you, and that I'll drive you away. I don't want to lose our friendship." Her voice was softer than a whisper. I was so glad that she was being honest with me, and I was completely honest with her.

"That would be impossible Isabella. Nothing you could do could ever drive me away." I didn't shift away from her intense gaze, and I hoped that she would be able to see my sincerity. I gave her an encouraging smile, and a minute later the corner of her mouth twitched up again slightly.

I leaned over, picking up her remote and turning on the television before draping my arm over the back of the couch behind her again. She froze again for a moment, but she relaxed again, and lightly leaned against my side. Slowly, I draped my arm over her shoulders, resting my hand on her small arm. I started rubbing small circles on her sleeve with my thumb, and she rested her head gently on my shoulder.

It was the best moment of my life.

**. . . . .**

**Isabella**

I slept in a little on Saturday morning, but that didn't surprise me really. I had stayed up so late with Edward last night. It hard been hard, letting myself be so close to him, and even though it felt wrong, there was something about it that felt right too. I enjoyed it.

Why couldn't I just be happy about that? There was no way to bring Jacob back, ever. I wanted to be happy, I wanted it just as much as I wanted Jacob.

I wanted it so much that I was absolutely furious.

I was pissed off and tired of hating myself and feeling guilty all the time. I was so angry that I was shaking.

Screw yoga. I threw on a pair of jeans and my old black t-shirt with the pink bar of soap before pulling my hair into a messy pony tail. I clipped my pistol holder to my belt, threw on a pair of boots and my jacket and ran to my truck. I barely noticed that someone had shoveled my driveway as I pulled out and sped out of town.

The firing ranges were completely deserted, and I realized that it's probably wasn't a big Christmas Eve destination. People would be spending it with their families.

Two years. It's been two years since that Christmas with Charlie.

I dropped my box of ammunition beside me, and fired a complete clip into one of the targets as I screamed in anger at the top of my lungs. Completely alone, I emptied clip after clip after clip until my arms hurt so much that I couldn't hold my gun anymore. Then I just sat against the wall and cried.

I stayed there until the sun went down and it got dark. I was relieved that no one else came that day, because I probably would have scared the shit out of anyone that saw me. A distraught woman with a gun on Christmas Eve? Yeah, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near that either.

I drove home slowly in the dark. I did feel a little better. I was still mad, but mostly I was just extremely tired. I shouldn't have been surprised to see Alice and Edward waiting on my front porch. They watched me closely as I walked up onto my porch.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked immediately. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry I didn't call you, I just needed to blow off some steam."

"That's okay, I'm just glad you're okay." I pulled back, and she gave me a happy smile. Then I looked over at Edward. He looked… terrible.

"We had no idea where you were," he said quietly. His black eyes were making me a little uncomfortable. "You should have called one of us, let us know where you were so we could-"

"So you could what?" I asked, angry once more. "Babysit me?"

"Protect you."

"Well Edward, I don't need you to protect me. I don't _want_ to be protected by anyone, ever again." He flinched under my gaze, and seeing that hurt look on his face calmed me a little. I sighed and walked over to him, and rested a hand gently on his chest. I waited until he met my eyes again. "I know you were worried, and I'm sorry for doing that to you, but I'm not going to go running to you and ask for your permission every time I want to do something. I hate being told what to do, or feeling like I'm being smothered, and that's something very important about me that I need you to understand." He stared into my eyes with that pained expression silently, but after a minute, he gave me a nod. He was silent though, and my stomach clenched. I shouldn't have freaked out so much, he was just worried about me. I just sounded like such a bitch, telling him off like that. The words had been true, but I should have been gentler about it. I should have.. oh god, I can't breathe. Not again. I leaned over, bracing myself against my knees while I tried to start breathing again.

"Isabella? Isabella!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I… shit. I'm just sorry."

He knelt down in front of me, taking my face in his hands like he had yesterday. I really need to stop skipping my yoga. "Isabella, it's okay. You were right, and you have nothing to apologize for. Breathe, just breathe." After following his exaggerated movements for a couple minutes, staring into his eyes I was able to calm down.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"Hey, it's okay. I always want you to be honest with me, no matter what."

"You're not mad?"

He looked shocked. "No, of course not. I just feel like an ass."

"Well, you are a bit of an ass," Alice said, and started laughing. Edward smiled, and I felt my face do the same before I invited them inside. Edward closed the door behind him, and the two of them sat down on my couch before I grabbed my cleaning kit and started stripping my gun. Alice had seen this many times, and was flicking through the channels faster than I could read them, but Edward was watching me with an amused look on his face.

"Ever fire a gun before?" I asked curiously.

"Not one like that. Guns have changed a lot in the last ninety years," he said with a smile.

"I used to be terrified of them," I said gently.

"Really? I'd never be able to tell the way you handle it."

"Yeah. I remember the first time Charlie came home from work when I started staying with him. I was putting dinner on the table when he sat down and put his gun on the table, I almost screamed." I smiled at the memory, shaking my head.

"What changed?"

"I didn't want to be afraid anymore, of anything. Then I realized that it's not the gun, but the person holding it that gives it it's power." I locked the bolt back in place, and then held it up with a smile, finished. "I just have to be better than anyone else holding one, and they can't hold any of that power over me."

I couldn't really read his expression then, but they excused themselves not long afterwards once I started to yawn. Alice said she'd come pick me up tomorrow, and I told her to make sure Esme didn't try to build some fancy Christmas feast for me. I was going to eat before I went over, it was always so weird eating in front of them.

**. . . . .**

I woke up at ten Sunday morning feeling refreshed and well rested. I got up lazily, stretched and did my yoga for about an hour and a half before jumping into the shower. I carefully dried my hair making it pretty and straight, and spent the morning walking around in my housecoat so that I wouldn't get my outfit dirty. I did a bit of cleaning, some laundry, and moved my wrapped gifts over by the front door for later.

I took time making my early dinner, curling up on the couch with a book on wilderness survival skills while I ate my spaghetti. I got up when my alarm went off, and was almost jittery as I started getting ready. I had owned this dress forever, it was one of the first things I had brought when I went shopping with Alice, but I still had never worn it. It was simple yet elegant, a white shimmering silk that went down to just a couple inches above my knees and had very thin straps. I had a light grey, knitted half sweater that I wore over top of it, and finished the look with Charlie's necklace.

I was about to slide on Jacob's ring, but hesitated. I sat down on my bed.

"Jacob, I'm always going to love you, for as long as I live. I can't keep doing this anymore though." I took the ring back off, and set it on my nightstand next to my wolf. I stared at it for about ten minutes, and after a couple tears, I realized I couldn't leave without it. I took off my necklace and slipped it onto the chain before doing it back up. Better. Alice came inside, and I took one last look at myself in the mirror before walking out to meet her.

"Belle! You look perfect!" She said happily, and I smiled and gave her a little pirouette to show it off. She nodded happily. After helping me load the stuff into her car we took off.

They had been busy yesterday. The entire mansion was covered in lights on the outside, and every surface inside was covered in garland and tinsel. There was also a giant ten-foot Christmas tree in their living room, none of which was out the day before yesterday when I'd been over. I couldn't help but laugh. I didn't bother arguing with Alice as she unloaded my stuff for me under the tree in less than two minutes.

It was a really great evening. I was happy, really happy. Edward had his piano brought over, and played us Christmas carols. It made me feel a little nostalgic of my mother, singing Christmas carols with me loudly and very much off key, and I had almost been tempted to sing along with the others. Almost. I loved to sing, and I missed it, but there was nothing in the world that could have gotten me to sing in front of people. We all talked and opened presents together when it got later. My face was burning red when they went to open mine first in nervousness. I hope they don't hate them, I hope they don't laugh at me.

Esme's eyes went wide when she opened hers first. She delicately lifted it out of the box. "This is… it's our house." She said, shocked.

"A bird house," I said shyly. "You seemed to like watching them."

"You made this?" I nodded. I looked around at everyone else, who was taking their things out of their respective boxes. I had made each of the guys ties, a necklace for Rose out of Tiger's Eye stones, and made a dress for Alice. She was the next one to speak after a painfully silent minute.

"Belle, did you make all of these?"

"Umm… yeah. I'm sorry, I know it's kind of stupid, but I knew there was nothing that I could buy any of you that you didn't already have and… I just thought it would mean more if I tried making something instead. It's okay if you don't like them, it was a stupid idea-"

"This is the most beautiful dress I've ever owned," Alice said happily, and jumped across the room in one large leap to pull me into a hug. "Thank you. I love it."

"No problem," I said, a little relieved. They all seemed to love them, especially Esme. She looked like she wanted to cry, and I couldn't imagine what it would be like not being able to. Edward took off the tie he was already wearing, and put on his new one. I couldn't help but smile.

Their presents put mine to shame. Everyone except for Edward laughed when I put on a pair of leather gloves before I even touched anything. He didn't seem to think I was funny. Esme and Carlisle got me a shiny red tool box that I was going to put to immediate use once I got it in my garage, it was one of those tall ones, almost as tall as I was really, with all sorts of different drawers. It would easily hold all the contents that were scattered around my garage, and I got excited just thinking about organizing everything. I gasped when I opened the present from Rose, she had managed to find, or possibly had custom made, the fuel injectors I had been searching so long for. Emmett got me a helmet, and I couldn't help but laugh. Alice had gotten me a white, three quarter length leather jacket that was absolutely beautiful from her and Jasper.

Everyone was excited, playing with their new things, and I smiled while watching their happy faces. I watched Esme through the window as she went outside. She easily jumped twenty feet into the large oak, dress and all, sitting on the branch elegantly while she held the house in one hand and a big drill in the other. I had the biggest smile watching her.

I knew their skin was cold, and I wondered if they actually felt cold. Their house was always so hot. After wiping my forehead on my arm lightly, I took off my sweater. I felt a little exposed, but my hair was just hanging straight down and it went past my chest. I laughed when Esme looked at me and waved, and I gave her a thumbs-up in approval before she lightly dropped down from the tree.

I felt someone walk up behind me, and turned around to see Edward. He stopped next to me, and I gave him a happy smile. "Hey."

"Hey," he said, a hint of nervousness in his voice. "Would you mind if I waited a little while to give you your present?"

"Edward, you don't have to get me anything," I told him with a smile. "You guys are already spoiling me."

"Oh no, I already got it. It's just… I'd like to give it to you later. Could I give you a lift home maybe?"

"Oh, uhm... Okay." I was a little nervous, but his smile calmed me down quickly. My necklace seemed to attract his attention for a minute, and he looked at me with a surprised expression. I rested my hand against the jewelry on the hollow of my throat, and gave him a sad smile before looking back outside at the snow. The skies were completely clear, and the light of the moon seemed to make the snow glow. "I love the snow when it's like this. It's so beautiful, magical even."

"Very beautiful." His voice had taken on this very deep tone, and I looked over to find him watching me with an intense expression, a small smile playing on his lips. My face felt very warm again, and I went to sit next to Alice, who was sitting curled up on Jasper's lap on a love seat. She was playing with her dress, inspecting it carefully.

The fabric was this light billowy material that I had found and fallen in love with. The color was somewhere in between a soft gray and pale lavender colour. It was fitted, but I'd done the skirt in layers, with black lace shoulders and neck. There were tiny black beads sewn into the ends of the different skirt lengths, accentuating the layers.

"This must have taken you forever to make," she whispered, running her fingers over the little glass beads.

"Nothing less for my best friend," I said with a smile, bumping my shoulder into hers. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a bruise later. I was a little worried, I had never heard her voice take on this tone before.

"How did you find the time to even do all this? I'm with you like every day."

"I have a lot of free time at work," I said lightly. "It's the only place I'm safe from all the vampires in town," I said with a laugh. In a flash her arms were around me, holding me tightly. I hugged her back quickly. "Hey, shh. It's okay Alice, it's really not a big deal."

"Yes it is," she whispered. I held her a little tighter.

**. . . . .**

I was there until after one in the morning. Alice had been reluctant to let me go, and I was happy sitting next to her for the rest of the night. We were easily able to share one seat on the love seat, and Jasper kept his spot on the other half. I hadn't even noticed the time fly by because they gave no indication of settling down for the night, I had been surprised when my eyes happened to pass over the large grandfather clock.

"Hey Edward, do you still want to give me a lift home?" I asked, then had to fight a small yawn.

"Of course."

"Leave your stuff over here for tonight, Jazz and I will bring them by tomorrow," Alice said, giving me a hug.

"Okay, but not my Jacket, I want to wear it now," I said with a big smile. It fit perfectly of course, and I absolutely adored it. After giving every one hugs, thanking them again and wishing them a merry Christmas, Edward opened the door for me and led me outside.

**. . . . .**

**Edward**

"Shouldn't we have gone through the garage?" She asked curiously, looking around for my car. She looked absolutely stunning in the moonlight. The jacket Alice had gotten her looked perfect on her, a soft white leather with silver buckles. It had a wide neck and went down to her knees. Her pale skin seemed to glow outside almost, making her hair look almost black and her eyes stand out drastically.

"Oh, I didn't bring my car actually. But we can travel much faster without it." She looked worried for a moment, and I cursed myself for being too presumptuous. "I could borrow Esme's truck or-"

"I can't really… hold on properly in this dress," she said, her face flaming red. The intoxicating scent washed over me, but as usual I just brushed the feeling of the burn to the back of my mind. What was important right now was that she wasn't actually saying _no_. I smiled.

"There are different ways to run," I told her happily.

"Like what?" Her voice was intrigued.

"May I?" She nodded taking in a deep breath when I swept and arm under her knees, and caught her easily, lifting her into my arms and holding her against my chest. I gave her a quick smile, then dashed off into the woods in the direction of her house. I was able to see a wide smile on her flushed face as she watched the trees fly past us. Reluctant to let her go, I took my time and we were at her house in five minutes.

I put her down on her front porch, and she pulled her spare key out of a flower pot.

"Did you shovel my drive way the other day?"

"Oh, yeah. While you were in the shower." _Open the door, open the door…_

"Thank you," she said with a dazzling smile, distracting me. She unlocked the door, pulled the key back out and walked inside. I closed the door behind me and watched as she searched for her light switch in the dark. She blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the sudden difference in light while she undid her jacket and hung it up. "Would you mind if- Oh!" Her hands shot to her mouth in surprise when she turned around. I watched her expression closely as she stared for a long moment, and followed her closely as she walked forward, and slid her hand gently over the smooth, stained hardwood, and gently sat down on the bench. She was still once again, and I sat down next to her. I had purposely picked out one that was long enough to fit the two of us comfortably. She lifted up the cover for the keys and trailed her fingers across them, before gently testing a high C.

She smiled then, and looked over at me. Her eyes were glossy, sparkling. "Thank you Edward." Her voice was a whisper.

"You like it?" I asked hopefully. I wasn't sure if she would be mad that I had come into her house without her permission, moved her furniture or if she would have disliked the gesture in general.

"I absolutely love it. She's beautiful." I smiled happily, and she did the same. I froze then, as she lifted her small, hot hand and rested it gently on the side of my face. Her lips took on a soft smile, as she traced her thumb along my cheek. "Thank you."

She leaned in and gently pressed her lips against mine, and I was lost to the rush of her electricity.

**Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Decisions

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Eighteen :: Decisions**

**Isabella**

His arm gently wrapped around my waist as my lips lightly lingered on his. They shocked me once again with that burning electricity, making my entire body tingle. His lips were hard and cold yes, but they were smooth like glass. I gently pulled away after a few seconds, sliding my hand off of his face and resting it on his arm. My body and mind were at war with each other; the guilt and pain battling the want for more, to wrap my arms around him and do it again. I refused to let my eyes water though, putting as much energy as possible into thinking only of the man in front of me now.

I watched his eyes as they opened slowly, my face still so close to his that our noses were touching. They were so bright, burning like golden flames. I watched and waited to see if I could find any of the same pain in his eyes, hoping that this hadn't upset him. All I saw was excitement and joy though as his mouth spread into a charming crooked smile. I sighed lightly in relief before sitting up a little straighter. His arm held onto me a little more tightly, sliding me a couple inches along _my piano bench_ until I was pressed against his side. I had to force myself to look away from his eyes, not thinking I'd be able to handle another kiss, and seeing that he obviously wanted to. I looked at the beautiful instrument in front of me again while smiling, and started playing.

Edward hadn't actually taught me any songs, and I had already known how to read music before he taught me from the classical guitar class I had taken as an elective when I was in high school. I hadn't told him that I could play guitar because I was afraid he'd ask me to play, but he had taught me which keys played which notes. It only took me a couple tries to form the short melody that was floating in my mind and played with it. My motions were not nearly as fluid and sure as his were, but I was proud of them none the less. He just sat there with me while I played, his arm still firmly holding me, and after he got into my melody he joined me, accentuating the music with low and gentle notes with his free hand. It was beautiful.

I stopped suddenly, sighing and resting my head against the polished wood. How could he have gotten me something so expensive for a Christmas present? I felt horrible.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a panicked tone. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I made you a tie," I said in a groan, covering my face with my hands. "I love it Edward, I really do, but this is just too much. I can't accept this."

"You _made_ if for me, I just bought this," he said easily, and I looked up to see him frowning worriedly. "If anything, I feel bad because you spent much more time on my gift then I did on yours." I was surprised to see the genuine regret in his eyes, but he smiled brightly and laughed.

"What?"

"If you're this upset over a piano, I guess it was a good thing that I didn't buy you the Ferrari."

"Oh god, that's a joke right?" He shrugged, and I laughed. "I don't think I'd be able to forgive you if you'd done that," I said, and started laughing with him. I was being horrible making him feel guilty about buying me a gift, even if it was _extremely_ over the top. I could get him back for this, later, and the thought made me smile. "Thank you so much Edward, really."

"It was my pleasure," he said with a smile, relaxing. I forced myself not to flinch away when he leaned towards me, but I think he saw in that moment just how painful this was for me, and stopped himself before sitting up a bit straighter. I relaxed again, even though I felt like I was drowning in my guilt. My eyes flickered over to the clock on the wall, and I was surprised to find that it was after three in the morning.

It felt too rude to kick him out after he had given me this beautiful, yet way over-the-top gift, but there was no way I could invite him to stay the night. For a moment I thought he was going to ask to, but instead he gave me a light hug and asked if he could come by tomorrow. After happily telling him yes, he walked out through my back door and disappeared into my woods. After getting changed, I gratefully curled up in my comfy bed and cried myself to sleep.

**. . . . .**

Alice was over bright and early the next day, knocking on the door and letting herself in during the middle of my yoga. I was too jittery to stop though, and I worried about the repercussions if I did. She smiled when she saw me, and I invited her to join in. She expertly copied every move I did with a big smile on her face while Jasper unloaded my things and made himself at home. It always made me happy seeing how comfortable they were in my small house. Alice went and joined him while I jumped in the shower, and not wanting to keep them waiting long I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt and left my hair wet while I went and poured myself a bowl of cereal and joined them.

She was in the middle of telling me about an epic snowball fight they had had last night when she suddenly stopped and her eyes seemed to glaze over. Jasper was immediately worried.

"Alice? What do you see? Is it-"

"Shh, it's alright, just give me a minute." We waited in strained silence for another minute before a giant smile broke over her face. She was at my side in a blink, her hands gripping onto my shoulders. "Isabella, you have to come," she said desperately, her bottom lip jutting out while her eyes went big and sad.

"Come where?" I asked nervously.

"Please just promise me?"

"I'm not signing anything without reading it first," I said with a small smile. She huffed and went on to explain.

"The entire next week is going to be completely overcast in Quebec, we're all going to drive there to go skiing. Please say you'll come. _Please_."

I looked at her in surprise, but thought about it carefully before answering. The farthest I've really gone out of town since coming here, over a year and a half ago now, was the short drive to Fredericton. It would be nice to see someplace new, and learning to ski was on my list. I'm sure one of them could teach me, and prevent me from crashing into any trees. And they worried about me so much, I was scared that they wouldn't all go if I didn't tag along.

"For how long?"

"We'll leave Wednesday and come back on Sunday," she said hopefully. Okay, well it wouldn't mess with my work then.

"Okay," I said, but held up a hand when she started bouncing excitedly. "But I want my own room, and I want to _pay _for my own room," I said seriously. She scowled, but agreed. I wasn't really worried about the price, my bank account was still high enough that I could live out the rest of my life very comfortably, even without my job. Alice was too excited to sit now, and they said goodbye before leaving to go start booking reservations. She told me she'd call me later this afternoon to go over details.

**. . . . .**

I was cleaning in my garage when Edward came over. It was moments like these that I really appreciated my gift, they were always so silent and it would have been so easy for them to sneak up on me. I turned around and gave him a nervous smile as he walked in. I wasn't sure what he would expect from me now after last night. Even though I had really enjoyed that kiss, it was still painful and I wasn't sure that I was ready to repeat it.

But he just gave me a smile and leaned against my work bench casually. I relaxed, and went back to organizing my wrenches.

"So, did Alice call you yet?"

"Yes, just before I came over. She was talking so fast that even I could barely make out the words," he said with a smile. "I didn't know that you were a skier."

"I'm not," I said quietly. "I've never gone before in my life. It would be nice to learn though, it's on my list."

He was silent for a minute, and then his voice sounded a little nervous. "I could teach you, if you want."

I smiled excitedly, only half looking at him while avoiding his eyes, "Okay."

We hung out in my garage for about two hours while I organized and re-arranged things. He seemed glad to help with moving things around for me before I invited him inside. He sat patiently on my couch while I cleaned up and made some lunch, then chatted happily about his work while I ate. I was still having trouble looking at him, feeling my face start to flush every time I met his eyes.

"Do you regret what you did yesterday?" He asked quietly.

"No," I told him honestly.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

I did turn then, and felt a painful twinge in my heart at the hurt expression on his face. I needed to be honest with him, it was the fair thing to do. "Because I liked it. I really liked it, and I think about it every time I look at you. And every time I think about it, I feel guilty. I feel like I'm betraying him, and it's painful."

He moved closer to me, and I was trapped in his eyes. "You're not betraying him Isabella. All you're doing is living your life, and you shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to live."

"I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"I know," he whispered back. And I knew that he was right. If Jacob was still alive, I never would have ever come here, and there was no way I would have done any of this. I never thought of another man when I was with him, I loved him completely. But he wasn't here anymore, and never would be. I wanted to live my life now, and be happy with it.

That changed nothing about my decision though. I would not let his sacrifice be in vain, and I had no desire to live for an eternity. So what would happen to Edward after my time was up? I knew he loved me, but once I started growing old I had a feeling that would change. Yes he was still technically three years older than me, but what would his opinion be like in another twenty years when I'm almost forty and he's still exactly like this, frozen perfectly in time? I know it was ridiculous to think that far ahead, but my brain could not ignore the obvious fact.

But none of that mattered if I didn't even try, and let this end after that one kiss. Really, I had planned on living the rest of my life off in near solitude, but these vampires had pulled me in. I couldn't take the risk of someone else I loved dying, but maybe their still hearts would be strong enough to survive my curse. Really they had already become too dear to me, such a big part of my life and I knew they cared about me too. We had each given the other a choice, and I needed to respect theirs like they were mine. I knew if they left me for 'my own good,' it would crush me. So, the choice was made really. I couldn't leave them, and I did really care for Edward, so I would at least try and see where this goes and try to stop letting my guilt hinder me.

My eyes hadn't left his throughout my internal debate. I could see the worry on his face, and that he was trying hard to conceal it. I slid along my couch until I was right next to him. I was sitting cross legged, so when I stopped both of my knees were resting against his leg. He seemed to relax slightly at the touch, and I analyzed his eyes carefully as I spoke. "Why do you want to be with me?"

He was quiet for a long minute, and seemed to be watching my face closely too. His hand came up to my face and he lightly stroked my jaw line with one smooth finger. His eyes took on that intense smouldering look once again, and my body just seemed to melt into his hand. "You are the most intriguing woman I've ever met. From the moment I met you I haven't been able to stop thinking of you. You're intelligent, amazingly so, and you are so kind and caring. You feel your emotions so intensely, passionately. And even though you are so gentle and polite, you have this amazing strength in you. You're independent, strong, and you're absolutely terrifying when you're angry. But I love your temper." He leaned in close to me then, our foreheads almost touching. "And you're the most breathtakingly beautiful creature I have ever seen."

His breath washed over me as he spoke that last sentence. My body seemed to shiver at the deep tone his voice had taken, yet was filled with buzzing energy from his delicious scent. As I leaned into him his hand slid from my face into my hair, his other wrapping around my waist as his lips crushed against mine. The electricity had become all consuming, a burning need filling me as my arms wrapped around his shoulders and I pressed my body up against his. His lips became rougher against mine, and when I slightly turned to gasp for a breath he left a burning trail of kisses across my jaw and down my neck. His hold became tighter on me as he kissed my collar bone, and a small, soft moan escaped my lips.

Then I was alone on the couch, breathing heavily and suddenly feeling very hot without his touch. I opened my eyes quickly, and he was sitting on the other end of the sectional, staring at me in horror with black eyes. My heart was pounding in my chest as I stared at him in confusion.

"Oh god, Isabella, I'm so sorry." He moved a bit closer to me then, just out of arms reach. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

My mind was still reeling in shock from what had just happened, what I'd just done, like I'd just been dunked in a tub of ice water. I needed to ease his panicked expression though. "No, you didn't hurt me Edward." He didn't look like he believed me, so I slid closer to him and looked him deep in the eyes. "I'm serious. Not in the slightest." He seemed to relax, and I smoothed my thumb over one of the dark circles under his black eyes. The craving my body had for him was so intense, it seemed to block out everything else. Feeling sudden confidence from his obvious look of desire, I leaned in close to his ear, and I felt him shiver as I whispered. "I liked that, I liked it a lot." I heard a faint growl vibrate in his chest that sent a shiver down my spine, but his hands were very gentle as they rested on my shoulders and slowly slid down my arms.

"I'm afraid to hurt you," he whispered in a terrified voice, not the sound I was expecting. I leaned back, looking in his eyes again. "You're so fragile, you don't even know how much. One wrong movement, one touch, I could break you, kill you too easily."

"I don't think you could hurt me," I told him honestly. "And I would tell you if you did." My phone rang then, and I gave him a serious look before I got up and walked over to the kitchen to answer it.

"It's me! So, what sort of price range are you thinking? There's a few options but there this one place in the village that you can literally ski out of and are right on this hills, but there are two other ones that-"

"No, that one sounds great. Don't worry about the price."

"You sure?"

"Positive." I gave her my credit card number comfortably; they were much wealthier than I was, none of them would ever think of stealing from me.

"Okay! I'll come back over once I'm done reserving everything."

"Okay, see you soon." I walked over to my kitchen and grabbed a granola bar and a glass of water before returning to the couch and turning on the TV. He was watching me curiously. "Edward, I had thought that you had already made up your mind, and I made a decision because of that. You need to decide what you want. But what just happened… It was a little too fast. I don't want to rush into anything. So it's up to you." I settled on a home renovations show, and opened up my snack and started munching on it slowly.

Ten minutes later, he confidently got up, walked over to me, and dropped into the seat beside me while throwing an arm around my shoulders. I didn't look over, but I'm sure he saw the small smile playing on my lips.

**. . . . .**

Alice came over with a giant pile of paperwork, my receipt and reservation forms along with a bunch of maps and photos. Her gaze kept flickering between Edward and I, who was still sitting casually with his arm around my shoulders and showing no sign of moving any time soon. The rooms were decently priced really, a gorgeous little condo with a great view that had one bedroom a full bath and kitchenette/ living room area with a balcony. I was starting to get a little excited. I've stayed in plenty hotels before, but more out of necessity than for fun. This was a vacation. A _fancy_ one, for me anyways. I gave Alice a big smile and she beamed back at me happily. "So, you'll drive with Jasper and Edward and I, and Rose and Emmett with be going with Esme and Carlisle. Ten hour drive, and we'll pick you up at… um, what time do you wake up at?" She asked with a goofy smile, this was a new obstacle for her.

"I can be ready at whatever time you want me Alice," I told her with a smile.

"Okay, we'll come get you at seven." I nodded in approval. "I'll be busy tomorrow packing, so I'll see you then. Pack nice clothes!" She said sternly, then gave me a hug and flew out the door.

I turned around to find Edward standing also. "Sorry, I have to get to work," he said, obviously not impressed. I smiled. "Can I come by tomorrow?"

"Of course," I said happily. He walked up to me, and just stared into my eyes for a moment before lightly taking my face in his hands, then brushing his lips against mine gently. After watching him hop into his car and take off, I locked my door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, feeling slightly dizzy. With a smile I turned off all the lights, got changed and curled up into my bed. I looked over onto my nightstand at Jacob's smiling face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered quietly, and rolled over, eyes swimming with tears once again.

**. . . . .**

I got up at four to give myself a good amount of time to go through my morning routine. I had only gotten maybe two hours of sleep and didn't feel like trying anymore either. I was so happy when I was around Edward, and it made it easier to not think of anything else, but as soon as he was gone all those other feelings came crashing back. My guilty, spinning mind made it almost impossible to sleep.

I put my wet hair into a thick French braid, and got dressed into some comfortable clothes; a pair of black tights and this really long, beige sweater-shirt that went halfway down to my knees. Once I was done I carefully packed up all of my toiletries and dragged my suitcase over to the front door.

I had a nice purse packed in my suitcase for going out, but I had this huge black one that I was going to use for the car. I threw in a bunch of snacks, a book, some Kleenex, my wallet, and all of those other little things that I might need while being stuck in a car all day. My coats were packed, didn't think I'd need one for driving, but I wrapped a big warm scarf around my neck just in case. I was just leaning over and doing up my long brown leather boots when Edward knocked and came inside. "Sorry, almost done," I said, zipping up my second boot and straightening up. I looked at him, and he was staring at me with an odd look. "What?" I said, smoothing out my hair.

He was in front of me in a blink, his big hands gripping my hips. "You're so beautiful," he said in a deep voice before kissing me. I was so distracted that I forgot to breathe, and pretty much fell limp into his arms, my head spinning. He laughed, standing me back up, and picked up my suitcase before carrying it out to the car. Yesterday when he had come over he was so confident and comfortable, I loved it, and was glad that he had decided to trust himself like I was. Once we both had really decided to give this a chance, it just became so easy to be around him. Comfortable, and natural really. I shook my head and took a deep breath before stepping out and locking my door behind me.

We were taking Esme's truck which had a bed cover on now, and after Edward put my suitcase with the others in the back he held open my door for me and gave me a hand hopping up. He was coming in through his door within half a second of closing mine it seemed, and then we were off. Alice talked excitedly for at least the first hour, telling me about all the things she wanted to do, but once she calmed down and relaxed there was nothing but the sound of the radio in the truck. They seemed completely comfortable staring off into nothing, and I pulled my book out of my purse. It was really warm so I ended up taking off my scarf and leaning into Edward's arm while I read. Seriously, why do they always have the heat up so high? They seemed completely comfortable running around in the snow with no shoes sometimes. I read for about three hours before they stopped to gas up, and quickly ran in to use the washroom. Then we were off again, and I didn't feel like reading anymore and started getting fidgety.

"So, what time to you think we'll get there?" I asked Alice, straightening up in my seat again.

"Six thirty-seven," she said knowingly. I sighed and rested my forehead against the cool glass of the window and watched the cars we were passing by. It started making my eyes hurt, so I slumped in my seat. A minute later I sat up straighter and pulled a granola bar out of my purse, and finished it in like four bites. God, it could be so awkward being around people that didn't eat food sometimes. I felt like my chewing was echoing throughout the car.

I was going crazy, how did they look so comfortable? I leaned forward, placing my forehead on my knees and wrapping my arms around my legs to stretch my back.

"You really don't know how to stay still, do you?" I heard Jasper say from up front.

"Is it that obvious?" I mumbled against my knees. He laughed, and then I felt a large, cool hand on my back. Edward started rubbing up and down spine slowly, and I felt myself stretch further and relax under his touch before I closed my eyes. It was such a nice contrast to the warm temperature of the cabin.

**. . . . .**

"Mmm." I sighed. I felt so comfortable, it was so warm, but the cool fingers tracing up and down the back of my neck and shoulder felt really nice. He stopped once he realized I had woken up, but resumed again after a minute.

My head was resting in his lap, my fluffy scarf folded under my face like a pillow. I stretched a little, and rolled over slightly so that I was on my back and looking up at him. The bright smile he gave me put butterflies in my stomach. "Hey," I said sleepily.

"Hey yourself."

"Are we there yet?" I asked with a grin.

"Nope, you were only out for two hours." He brushed his fingers down my arm. "You can go back to sleep if you want."

"Okay," I said quietly, but I just kept watching him. I was lying on my braid awkwardly, so I lifted my head for a second and kind of tossed it over his lap before lying down on my back again. He looked at it for a moment, then hesitantly slid off the elastic and let it roll onto his wrist. I closed my eyes when he started combing his fingers through my hair slowly, practically purring under his touch.

**. . . . .**

My stomach growling woke me up, and Edward was still combing his fingers through my hair. He was smiling brightly at me, and I smiled back before I sat up groggily, rubbing at my eyes to look at the time on the clock. My smile grew much bigger then, it was just after six. I stretched, finally feeling well-rested, and pulled a container of red grapes out of my purse.

The scenery was gorgeous, tall mountains, thick forests and a ton of snow everywhere. The resort was really big, and the traffic was kind of slow getting into it, but we parked at the exact time Alice had said we would. I wrapped my scarf around me and flung my purse over my shoulder as I hopped out of the truck, and I took a minute for a nice long stretch while enjoying the feeling of finally standing. The others were waiting for us, and everyone started pulling suitcases out of the truck. Edward tried to carry mine for me, but he already had his suitcase and this giant bag with his skis, and my suitcase had wheels. I easily won the small debate.

I followed them inside, and waited in line with the others to get my key. Edward and I got ours first, and waited in the lobby for the others. He sat next to me on a small couch, and comfortably draped his arm around my shoulders. "So, they have night skiing, are you ready for you first lesson?"

"Sure," I said with a nervous smile. We went and met the others by the elevator. We couldn't all fit, and Edward and I went up first with Alice and Jasper. They were up on the seventh floor, and we got off on the fifth, saying we'd meet up outside in an hour. At first I thought Edward was just walking me to my door, but it turned out that he was in the room next to mine.

The room was absolutely wonderful, and almost as big as my house. I propped my suitcase up on a bench against the wall in my bedroom and got changed quickly, pulling on a pair of jeans over my tights, changing my shirt and putting on my leather jacket. I tied up my hair again, and explored my room a little bit.

There was a giant basket of food sitting on the small counter in my kitchen. I opened up the plastic wrapper, and there were all sorts of things inside it. Bagels, tiny little jars of jam, cheese and crackers, fruits, nuts, a couple of fancy juices and a big bag of chocolate cookies. I pulled out an apple and put the juice and cheese into the fridge before walking out onto my balcony.

I was facing the giant mountain that was all lit up now. Off to the side I could see the edge of the small village. I leaned against the railing, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. The air out here smelled amazing. I looked over to the balcony next to mine. Hmm.

"Hey Edward?" I said casually, speaking in a normal volume. I saw his light flick on inside, and he opened his door and walked out. I smiled. "I was just curious if you could hear me or not."

He smiled back, and stepped up onto the railing of his balcony, easily hopping over the meter gap in between them and landing lightly by my side. "How's your room?" He asked me gently, standing _very_ close to me.

"It's very nice. Turns out that there's a very attractive man staying in the room next to it too," I said with a small smile, leaning into him. He grinned, and leaned down to kiss me gently. I pulled away after a minute. "So where are we meeting the others?"

"Just down there," he said, leaning over the balcony and pointing down. I took a peek and saw that there was a little sitting area just below us. "Would you like some company until then?"

"Sure." He went back over to his room to grab his things, and came in through my door a couple minutes later. He was carrying a basket identical to the one I had.

"Hey, thought I'd bring this over here, it's not going to do me much use," he said easily, placing it on my counter.

"Mmm, thank you," I said, opening it up and putting things into the fridge. I found that one of the bottles of juice wasn't juice at all, but a small bottle of champagne. _Well, I am on vacation_, I thought with a smile. But I was also about to purposely slide down a mountain on two narrow boards. _Maybe later_. I put it back down in the fridge and closed the door. Edward was opening up his giant black bag, and pulled a slightly smaller grey one out of it, placing it on the long coffee table. I went and sat on the couch and watched as he opened up that one too, pulling out a beautiful pair of white skis with purple graphic vine designs on them. Then he pulled out a pair of matching boots and a helmet. "Your skis are very pretty," I told him, not being able to cover my laugh. He rolled his eyes.

"These are _your_ skis," he said, and my eyes went wide.

"You bought me skis?" I asked disbelievingly.

He frowned. "Please don't get mad, I know you're not big on the whole gift thing, but I wanted to make sure you had safe ones. I don't trust the rentals."

I sighed. It would be horribly rude to get mad at him for giving me a present. I smiled at him, _I will get you back for this_. "Thank you Edward, I love them."

He smiled brightly, erasing the last of my discomfort. We both started snapping our boots on, then I zipped my key card into a pocket before we headed out, Edward carrying my skis for me while I carried our poles and my helmet.

The others were out there waiting for us, but as soon as we met up they all went off to some crazy expert's hill. I was completely happy just being alone with Edward though, and did not want an audience for what I was about to do. He showed me how to snap my boots into the skis, and how to use the poles to pop them back out for when I wanted to. As Alice had said, the hill was just right outside of the hotel.

"Okay, so you're going to push out alternatively with your skis to move forward, kind of like skating." I laughed, but copied his motions. "Never been skating before?"

"Nope."

"Rollerblading?"

"Never."

"Oh, well, you're doing great anyways."

I rolled my eyes. He was gliding effortlessly against the flat ground beside me, and my legs kept going out too far and almost causing me to fall forward, but after a couple minutes I started to get into the rhythm of it. He easily kept pace with me while I made the way over to the gondola. While we waited in line, he took two stickers and pieces of wire out of his pocket, attaching one of them to my coat, then one to his.

"What's that?"

"It's the pass to be able to go on the hill," he said with a small smile.

"Oh, I would have-"

"It was included with the price of your room, you just forgot it on the counter," he said. My face flushed red.

"Thanks," I said, looking away. The line slowly moved forward, and I was more excited for the ride in the hanging benches than actually going down the hill. When we were finally next in line, I followed Edward out, and he helped me stop right before the bench scooped us up, then put the safety bar down in front of us.

"Wow," I whispered, looking at the view beneath us. It was so dark out now, but the lit up trail just off to the side provided light. It was a lonely sort of beauty, slowly creaking along above the quiet forest. Something about it put a pit in my stomach.

Then Edward put his arm around me, and when I looked over at him that feeling just seemed to melt away. I gave him a small smile, then leaned my head against him and enjoyed the quiet ride. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the top, and once I saw the end of the line approaching I started to get nervous. Edward lifted the bar when we passed the sign saying it was safe to do so.

"There's going to be a bit of a slope, so all you have to do is push off a little and slide."

I had no words, and just nodded as I fastened the buckle on my helmet.

"Okay, push." I did as he said, and my skis crossed as soon as we made it clear of the turning bench, making me land face first in the snow. Edward picked me up easily, standing me on my feet in one fluid motion and letting me hold his hands while I tried to snap my left boot into the ski again. "You okay?"

"Yup," the snow cushioned the fall nicely, though the cold wet snow burned my face a little.

I knew we were high up, but from where we were standing all you could see were tall trees. The beginning of the hill had a very gentle slope, and Edward started giving me my first lesson. He showed me how to move the skis into a triangle to slow down. He expertly went down a ways, then turned and stopped, and waited for me to go towards him. I pushed off, but no matter how hard I pushed out with my legs I couldn't seem to slow down. I tried to do a turn like he had to stop, but I went around too far because of my speed and fell on my butt before rolling down the hill a little bit. He quickly came over to my side, and after slipping again while trying to stand myself up, he gave me a hand again. We did that over and over again, I must have fallen down dozens of times, but as we got closer to the bottom of the hill I felt like I was starting to get the hang of it. Edward was close behind me as we swerved through this small bridge tunnel, went around a bend and continued down the smooth slope back to the beginning of the gondola.

"That was awesome Isabella," he said enthusiastically. I laughed.

"I must have fallen down twenty times!"

"Nope, eighteen. But that's completely normal." He gave me a worried look. "Are you okay? Do you want to go again?"

"Definitely," I said, then paused. "Sorry, you'd probably have more fun off on one of the other hills with the rest of-"

He slid up close to me, lifting my chin to meet his eyes again. "I don't want to be anywhere except right here with you. I was just worried that you might not be enjoying it," he told me seriously, and I relaxed a little.

"I am having fun, it's just a little embarrassing. I'm pretty good at falling down though," I said with a proud smile, and led the way back to the gondola. There was only one couple ahead of us, and we were back on the lift in no time.

The second run was much better. I wiped out getting off of the chair lift again, but besides that I only fell twice. After I started getting used to it I was able to go faster and it was so much fun. We had two more runs before I started getting tired, and I didn't fall a single time on the last. Edward escorted me to my room, and I told him to go join his family for a while.

So once I was alone, I went and tried out some of the assorted bubble baths that were lined up along the edge of the Jacuzzi, and the jets felt amazing. I stayed in there until the water got cold before throwing on a soft tank top and a pair of baggy, red-plaid pyjama bottoms.

It was almost midnight, and I curled up in the amazingly comfortable bed to wait for sleep to take me, but it never did. As I relaxed, I began to be able to feel all of the people in the rooms around me. Surrounding me from both sides, along with above and below me. I could count eighteen of them. The harder I tried to tune it out, the more it started to bother me, and after an hour I just gave up and went to the living room, wrapping myself in my comforter and curling up on the couch while I searched for something to watch on TV. I settled for watching Die Hard in French, and laughed listening to the voice that was used to dub over Bruce Willis'.

I felt when Edward got to his room around two in the morning. I debated for a couple minutes, but once it seemed like he was sitting still I turned down the volume on the TV a little. "How were the other hills?" I asked through the wall. I felt him move again, and he went outside and came in through my balcony door.

"They were good," he said easily, but gave me a curious look. "Why are you still up?"

I shrugged. "Just can't sleep. Would you like to sit for a little while?"

"I'd love to," he said happily, taking a seat next to me and pulling me, comforter and all into his side. His presence was soothing, distracting me from the other people buzzing from the surrounding floors. "Why can't you sleep?"

"It's kind of weird…" I said, not sure if I wanted to tell him or not.

"Well, luckily for you, vampires are pretty good with weird."

I laughed. "Touché." I fidgeted slightly before looking away from him. "Well, you know how I can tell whenever you walk onto my property?" I felt him nod. "Well… it's kind of like that. I can feel everyone in the rooms around us, almost like a buzz, and it's kind of distracting."

"I understand… when I was first getting used to my gift, I couldn't stand being in crowded areas. The voices were just so overwhelming, but you get used to it after a while. If you want, we could try to find somewhere else to stay."

"No, that's okay. It's better when I'm close to you, I don't feel them as much," I said sleepily.

"I could stay with you," he whispered gently.

"That would be so boring for you, you don't have to-"

"I'd like to. I just like being next to you."

I leaned away to look at his face, but he didn't let me go. I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes, and smiled. "Okay." The left side of his mouth pulled up into that crooked grin that I was becoming very attached to, and he pulled out one of the pillows on the couch beside him and placed it on his lap. I handed him the remote, then laid down on the couch as he draped a hand along my side. "Good night Edward."

"Good night, Isabella." His voice was barely a whisper, and I fell asleep easily with the feeling of his touch again.

**. . . . .**

This comforter was _heavy_. I felt so hot underneath it, and must have thrown it off of my arm in my sleep because I could feel Edward's cool fingertips lightly trailing across my bare shoulder and down my arm. I was on my side, and rolled onto my back to look up at him. He gave me a dazzling smile.

"Good morning," he said happily, I couldn't help but grin.

"Morning." I sat up slowly, and rubbed my eyes before looking at my watch. It was almost noon. "Shit." I jumped off the couch quickly and looked around the room, feeling a little disoriented for a moment with the unfamiliar surroundings. When I looked back at Edward he had an amused grin on his face.

"What would you like to do today?"

I froze. Yes, we had no plans. I was on a _vacation_. Hmm. "Really?"

"Yes really. I'd really like to spend it with you though, if you're up for it. I have no plans either." He looked a little nervous, and I couldn't help but smile. _Shy_. He was asking if I would spend the day with him. "Whatever you want to do," he added. I know that it really frustrated him that he couldn't see what I was thinking, and I tried to find something to say quickly.

"Would you want to go check out that village later?"

"I'd love to," he said happily. "We can leave whenever you feel like it, I can see you're itching to do your yoga." He gave me a knowing grin. "Is it cool if I just hang out here and watch the television for a while?"

"Sure," I said, excited. I picked up the heavy white comforter and dragged it into my room with me. I set up my mat right in front of the giant window in my bedroom, and staring at the beautiful mountain, which I could see much better now that it was daytime, really helped relax me. I had a nice long shower and blow dried my hair, but while going through the drawers in the bathroom I found a flat iron as well and decided to try it out. I did it in sections like I'd seen on TV before, and loved the result. My hair looked even longer, and extremely soft and shiny.

I had hung out with Edward countless times before, but this is the first time we've really gone out since we became… whatever it is that we are. I wanted to look good next to him, not an easy task to accomplish next to his inhuman beauty.

I had this really pretty blouse that Alice had found for me, it was a deep violet colour, but the material was thin and billowy and a little transparent. I wore it over a black camisole that had a wide lace trim, and a black, high-waisted skirt that went down to just a few inches above my knees. I tucked my blouse in, and had to admit that it had a very nice effect. Noting that it would probably be cold out, I put on a pair of black pantyhose also. I didn't wear any jewelry except for a pair of simple silver hoop earrings. I packed my smaller purse, then picked up my white coat before hanging it up by the door and heading into the kitchen.

I had a bagel with one of the fancy jams, and a pile of strawberries on my plate as I walked over to the living room but froze when I saw Edward. He was wearing a pair of black, artfully faded designer jeans, and a black vest over an untucked white dress shirt. The top few buttons at the top were undone, showing the collar of a white undershirt. He looked like he should be on the cover of some fashion magazine with his always artfully messy hair. My face felt really hot when I met his eyes, and realized I had just been openly gawking at him. I walked over and sat on the other end of the couch as casually as I could and forced myself to eat my breakfast, or lunch. It was almost two.

If I touched him, I didn't think I would be able to make it outside.

I could feel him watching me too though, and that gave me a bit of confidence again. After I finished eating, I got up and washed my plate before going to brush my teeth again. I brushed my hair once more then gave myself a reassuring smile in the mirror before putting on a pair of black boots and walking out to the foyer. He turned to look at me, and I flashed him my biggest smile. "Ready?"

Then he was at my side, standing so closely that he was almost touching me as he reached for my coat. He held it open for me, and after I pushed my arms through the sleeves, he slowly slid his hands from my shoulders, down my ribs and over the curves of my hips, making me shiver. Then he was pulling on a dark brown leather jacket while I did up mine with slightly shaking hands. The deep look he was giving me right now sent an almost nervous thrill through my body. I let a small grin escape as he opened the door for me and closed it behind him.

While we were standing in the elevator, I saw his hand twitch toward me a couple of times out of the corner of my eye, but he decided against whatever he was going to do and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. As the door to the elevator opened and he stepped forward leading the way, I snaked my hand around the inside of his elbow and held onto him lightly. I saw him grin happily, and smiled as we walked into the lobby.

"Belle!" Alice ran over and gave me a hug, disentangling me from Edward. "Did you have fun last night? Edward said you were a quick learner," she said happily.

"Oh yeah, it was lots of fun," I told her honestly.

"Would you two like some company?" We both smiled pleadingly at Edward, making him laugh.

"Sure." He had a hand on my waist as soon as Alice let go of me, and we followed them as they led us out.

She told me all about the races they had had last night on this closed-off private run. She had all these technical terms for tricks that I knew nothing about, but I smiled and nodded as we explored the small village. I loved the architecture, all of the small buildings of the shops were painted bright colours and were packed close together, and there were all sorts of scattered sitting areas, some of them with large burning fires in artful outdoor fireplaces. I was glad that Edward had Jasper to keep him company while Alice and I shopped, but he was always close by, watching me with a small smile. I got a nice skiing jacket that was a chocolate brown with pink trim and white pants so I wouldn't get soaked again like last night, a really cute purple toque with a big white pompom on the top, this incredibly soft silvery white scarf, and tried this thing caller a beaver tail. It was some sort of pastry bread that reminded me of a pancake, but it was deep fried and covered in cinnamon and sugar, amazingly delicious. It wasn't a very big village, a lot of the buildings were restaurants and bars, so by the time it had started getting dark we had seen pretty much everything. We all walked back to the hotel and I said good-bye to Alice as we left them in the elevator. Edward held some of my bags for me while I dug in my purse for my key, and came inside and perched on my bed as I emptied out all of my bags and started going through my purchases and putting them away. I didn't want to leave a bunch of bags laying around.

"You know, I've never met anyone who's been able to tolerate Alice so well while she's shopping," he said lightly.

I shook my head and smiled. "I think it's sweet that she loves doing it so much. Don't tell her, but I'm really not a big fan of shopping like this. Never was. But I love seeing how happy it makes her." I folded everything except for my jacket and pants and put them into my carefully organized suitcase.

"Are you hungry?" I turned around to look at him, and he was watching me carefully. "We could go out?"

"I could just eat something here, I don't want you to feel uncomfor-" I didn't even see him move, he was sitting on my bed and then was just standing in front of me, making my heart stutter. He stared deeply into my eyes as he gently ran a finger under my chin.

"Please?" He whispered, his breath washing over me. I inhaled deeply, and forced my body to stay still and answer him calmly.

"Okay," I said quietly. I took one careful step back, not being able to think very clearly while he was that close, and picked up my purse. He gave me a slightly frustrated look before replacing it with a casual smile once more and leading me back out.

It had gotten pretty chilly outside, and I had almost leaned into Edward for warmth before stopping myself. His skin was really just as cold as the air was, it wouldn't have helped really. That reality had me deep in thought as we walked slowly through the little village to the restaurant he was taking me to. I had known all of this already, I don't know why it was bothering me now. Edward was cold. I couldn't lay out in the sun with him in public, I couldn't grow old with him or have children with him. This relationship couldn't last long, yet I was still letting myself do it anyways. We were led to a table by a pretty waitress who was smiling happily at Edward. He took off my jacket for me and pulled out my chair before sitting across from me. "Yes, and English menus please," I heard him say, and the waitress gave him a confused look.

"Non, en francais c'est correct, merci," I said politely, and she sighed in relief before running off. I looked at him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"You speak French?"

"Just a little."

So could he apparently, and much more fluently than I could. He talked easily to the server when she came back with two menus and two glasses of water. After setting my glass down she was practically leaning over him while she talked, but he never took his eyes off of me. I was going to grow old, and there was always going to be a younger and prettier human, or even vampire around if I stayed with him. The girl seemed a bit frustrated while she read the specials to him. I picked the first thing that sounded good, some sort of chicken dish with a cream and mushroom sauce. After asking him a second time if he was sure that he didn't want anything, he turned and gave her an enormous smile. I saw her falter under his powerful gaze, and practically trip over her feet as she hurried away. Yeah, I knew that feeling. Poor girl.

"You shouldn't do that," I said with a polite smile.

"Do what?" He asked curiously.

"Dazzle people like that. You probably just gave the poor girl a heart attack."

I looked up as he leaned forward over the table, watching me intently. "Do I dazzle you?"

"Frequently." He smiled, and reached across the table and took my hand. Even though his skin was cold, it made my skin feel so hot when he touched me. He made me feel _alive_. My life had felt more complete and happy in these past few days than it had over the last year and a half. I couldn't help my smile when he looked at me like this, like I was the only person in the world. He made me happy, that should be enough, right? I looked down at our entwined hands, and brought my other one onto the table, tracing a finger over the smooth texture of his hard skin curiously. I know that there wouldn't be another person after him, I never even expected the possibility of him. This shouldn't be possible, but here we were. I looked up at his face again, and made sure that he wouldn't see the battle going on in my mind. No, I didn't want to be with anyone else. I liked being around him, I liked talking to him, I loved his family. I needed to enjoy this while it lasted, accepting the knowledge that happiness like this couldn't last forever. I squeezed his hand a little tighter and gave him a big smile.

"You look so beautiful," he said, his eyes burning into mine. I felt my cheeks warm as I smiled.

I leaned in a little, and talked quietly so I wouldn't be over heard. "Doesn't human food gross you out?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, seemingly caught off guard.

"I've seen you force yourself to eat it before, and you always look like you're going to be sick. Does it smell gross to you?"

He smiled. "It doesn't smell as gross as it tastes, but yeah."

"Then why did you want to come out here?"

He reached out and took my other hand, watching me with a growing smile. "Because I just like being with you. I feel so… proud, being able to walk around with you by my side, holding you and letting the world see that you're with me. That you chose _me_ of all people. I can't tell you how happy it makes me, being able to just sit here like this and hold your hand. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world."

I felt my eyes water slightly as I smiled, and he brought my hand up to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss in my palm. A small giggle escaped my lips as the sever came back, setting my plate down in front of me a little heavily. I couldn't help glaring up at her, and her face seemed to pale slightly as she quickly left. The food was good, and I laughed again thinking of the time Edward had attempted to make me a salad.

"What's so funny?"

"You," I said with a smile. I took another bite of my chicken, and smiled at his confused, slightly frustrated look. "I was remembering the time that you tried to cook for me."

"You didn't like my salad?"

"I didn't say that, but it was obvious that you had no idea what you were doing." He laughed and nodded. "I always thought you were the worst at blending in out of your family," I admitted to him.

"Seriously?" I nodded. "How so?"

I tapped my fork against my bottom lip. "Well, you were a little socially awkward when we first met." He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, sneaking into my room at night and lingering around my doorway. You were always giving me strange looks."

"I was so frustrated, I had no idea why I couldn't hear your thoughts and it drove me insane. That, and trying to adapt to your scent. I can see how uncomfortable that must have been for you now though," he apologized. "What else?"

"You moved too quickly sometimes, stood too still. Even Alice's too-even breathing and timed movements were better than that. I think I just noticed because I was actually looking for the signs though." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yet you still let me keep coming to visit you. Why?"

I couldn't tell him the truth, where in the beginning, I just really hadn't cared. I thought it would be better to have him where I could see him, not lurking behind doorways. He was a vampire, and I was just a human who couldn't even walk. I couldn't have made him leave even if I tried. "Once I got to know you… I've never met someone who I've had so much in common with before. I just liked talking to you."

He stood up, and moved his chair over so that he could sit closer to me. "I knew that you didn't like me much when you were in the hospital, and for a while afterwards too. You were never as comfortable around me as the others."

"Edward, I-"

"No, that's okay Isabella. You're with me _now_, and that's what matters." I felt my face flush as he leaned in closer to me, sliding his arm over the back of my chair. "But for me… I didn't quite know it at first, but I've been crazy about you since the moment I met you. At first it was the draw of your scent, and then your silent mind… and then just you. Every single thing about you amazes me." He started to pull away, but my hand shot out, grabbing the collar of his shirt as I pulled myself towards his face and kissed him firmly. I felt his lips smile against mine, but after a moment he pulled away. I pouted slightly, making him laugh. "You should finish your dinner, we're attracting a bit of attention." I quickly sat up straight, and sure enough when I looked around there were a few faces turned in our direction. To be completely honest, I had forgotten that we were sitting in the middle of a packed, fancy restaurant. My face flamed, and I tried my hardest to finish my dinner with a shaking fork, but I'd really lost my appetite. The waitress practically came running when he signaled for her, and I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going skiing again tonight?" I asked curiously as we walked back through the dark streets. I was trying to resist the urge to rub my hands over my arms to warm myself up.

"I think I'm just going to stay in tonight," he said casually. He held open the door for me and I sighed while walking into the warm air of the hotel. "Unless you'd like to go," he added quickly.

"No, my leg muscles are still kind of sore to be honest," I said with a small smile as we got into the elevator. "I would like to see the hill during the day though, what's the weather supposed to be like tomorrow?"

"Some snow but fairly warm." His eyebrows furrowed as we stepped out of the elevator.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, my siblings-er, nieces and nephews? Are waiting in my room." I couldn't help but laugh. "Want to come say hi?" I nodded, and he led me over with a soft hand on my lower back. He paused before reaching for the door handle, and when I turned to see what was wrong his lips were on mine. I gasped slightly in surprise, but my arms immediately shot around his neck. He kissed me until I couldn't even think anymore, his hands slowly sliding down my sides. He sighed when he pulled away, and I stopped his hand when he reached for the door again.

"Just a sec," I said, leaning against the wall and trying to calm my breathing quickly. I eyed him warily, and he let out a small chuckle while looking fairly pleased with himself. I stood up straight and nodded, and he opened the door. "Hey," I said, as casually as possible, while we walked inside. The four of them were sitting in Edward's living room area, and his room looked like a mirrored version of mine. I undid my coat, and Edward was sliding it off for me as soon as I was done with the buckles. It was so strange, but sweet. Rose was perched in Emmett's lap in a big chair, and Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the couch. Edward went and joined them while I comfortably walked into his kitchen and poured myself a cold glass of water.

"Very nice," Alice said in approval as I walked into the room and joined them. I felt very flushed still from that moment in the hallway, and confidently went and sat in Edward's cool lap. I wasn't sure if it would bother him or not, but his arm quickly went around me, his hand resting on my hip. I practically melted into him then, very much enjoying his tight grip on me.

"Thank you," I told her happily. "What are you guys up to?"

"Trying to convince Edward here to go on a little hunting trip tomorrow," Emmett said excitedly. I felt Edward freeze underneath me, and looked at him.

"You should go," I told him with an encouraging smile. I didn't want him to stay cooped up with me the entire time, he should have fun with his family. He looked at me worriedly. "I'm quite capable of entertaining myself for a while." I gave him a challenging look, and he sighed.

"Okay, but we'll go skiing right after. Maybe try a new hill?"

"As long as you can protect me from the trees, then sure," I said grinning, making him laugh. We sat with them for a few hours before they went back to the hills, apparently waiting until it got late enough that they could sneak onto some of the other closed hills to have some fun without being noticed. Once they were gone I went back to my room, but Edward came with me. It felt so nice to get out of those clothes, and I put on a pair of silky pyjama pants and a long shirt before washing my face and brushing my teeth. It was only ten, but I felt exhausted. Edward was reading a book in some language that I didn't know, looking completely at ease on my couch. I went and joined him, trying to cover up a yawn.

"Are you tired?" He asked, brushing my hair behind my ear. I leaned into his hand.

"A little."

"You should get some rest." I sighed and nodded, but didn't move. I didn't want him to leave, dreading the absence of his soothing presence. "Can I stay with you again?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'd like that." He smiled, but stayed in place when I got up and started walking over to my bed. I looked at him and kept my tone relaxed while my stomach definitely was not. "I don't want to sleep on the couch again though."

I walked into my dark room, and slid under the sheets of my comfy bed. After a moment I felt his weight on the bed next to me on top of the blankets as he sat up against the headboard. After a couple minutes of hesitation I slid towards him a little, pulling my pillow onto his lap and draping my arm over his legs. The buzzing started to fade, replaced by his electricity.

"Is this okay?" I asked a little nervously.

I felt him brush my hair off to the side. He seemed to really like touching it. "This is perfect," he said in a quiet voice, and I fell asleep with a smile as he drew light designs on my back with a cool finger.

**. . . . .**

It was weird, like being woken up by the buzz of an alarm clock. There was no noise though, just that hum of awareness, but it was just as annoying. As I stretched out in my empty bed, my hand hit something small and cool, and I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision and look at it. There was a small silver phone sitting on top of a folded piece of paper which I opened up.

_This is my cellphone, all of our numbers are programmed into it. Please don't hesitate to call if you need any of us. Be safe,  
Edward_

I smiled, at least he didn't go out and buy me a phone. I got out of bed, did my hours' worth of meditated stretching, then hopped in the shower.

I did my hair in two long braids, put on a pair of nice jeans and a t-shirt, and made myself a giant breakfast that I ate on my balcony. It was cool, but the clean air was so refreshing. Once I was finished I had no desire to sit in my room and do nothing all morning, so I pulled on my pretty new toque and my skiing jacket and headed out to explore on my own.

It was so crowded, it felt impossible to walk down the narrow streets without someone bumping into you and I was starting to get a headache, so I decided to walk around a bit closer to the edge of the mountain just outside of the town which is where I saw the signs for a gondola ride. Knowing that I still had a couple of hours to kill, I went and got a ticket and waited in line.

It was much different than the ski lift, these little red shuttles with benches around the edges of their square-shaped interiors. They held about fifteen people and slowly traveled on thick, hanging cables that ran up the side of the mountain. It was so much more beautiful being able to see the scenery with the light of day, even though it was really cloudy and little snowflakes were starting to fall. The ride lasted about an hour, and that was more than enough time to make me uncomfortable, trapped inside the suspended box with fourteen strangers. Just wanting to escape the crowds for a little while, I went back to my room and was relieved to feel that the hotel seemed pretty deserted.

**. . . . .**

We went to three different hills that afternoon, and after almost seven hours of skiing I was completely exhausted. It was fun getting to join the others for a little bit this time, the things Jasper and Rosalie could do on a snowboard amazed be, but I wasn't really enjoying myself. I kept a smile on my face and kept up as best as I could, but I felt like a burden around them. A weight that was slowing them down.

It was a very oppressing feeling, being surrounded by all of these amazing beings. I started to realize that I didn't really fit in with them. I cared about them so much, but there was just nothing that I could really bring to the table in this friendship with them. It felt like there was so much more pressure now too, that hadn't been there when I was just friends with Alice. Every one of them were together except for Edward, and now that I had kind of evened out their numbers it made me feel like there was an extra weight on my shoulders.

"Want to go for another run?" Edward asked me as we came to a slow stop at the bottom of the hill. I could see the hotel from here, and was trying to stop my legs from shaking. Even though it had gotten dark, the hills were still packed and my throbbing headache was starting to blur my vision.

I gave him a happy smile. "I think I'm going to call it quits. You should go back out with the others though."

"No, that's okay. I'll just-"

"No, really. I want you to have fun, and I think I'm just going to go have a nice long bath." I really hoped he didn't persist, I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I so badly just wanted to be alone.

He slid right up to me on his skis, resting both hands on my waist. "Are you sure you don't want me to at least walk you back?" He said, leaning in close to me.

"I'll be fine," I told him lightly, and leaned up to give him a quick kiss. I felt like my eyes were going to water, so I slid back quickly before turning around and heading back to the hotel.

My body was trembling as I took off my gear and put away my things. I felt like I was going to have another panic attack, and leaned against the counter in the kitchen and started taking long, deep breaths. I still felt crowded, the feeling was drowning. I wish I had just stayed home, where my lot was big enough that I couldn't feel anyone else. Deciding that a bath was probably a good idea, I went and started the water while going back to the kitchen to get something to drink. As soon as I opened the fridge, I saw those two little bottles of champagne.

Why not? I'm on vacation. Maybe it will help with my throbbing headache. It took me a while to pop the cork, but luckily I did it over the sink because it foamed and spilt over. I took one of the nice glasses out of the cupboard and filled it up before taking a small sip. It actually tasted pretty good. I took the glass, bottle and some grapes over to the bathroom and had to run to turn off the water before the bubbles over-flowed. After finding a good radio station and stripping down, I slowly slid into the hot, strawberry-scented water and turned on the jets. It felt amazing, and as I sipped on my drink and relaxed in the bubbles my headache started to dissolve. By the time I was on my second glass I could barely even feel the buzz of the people beyond the walls around me. I think it even made the fruit taste better, and I easily finished the plate.

I smiled happily, and there wasn't even anyone in the room. It was just for myself. This is what a vacation is supposed to feel like. When the water went cold, I drained it and topped it with more hot water and bubbles and stayed in there until I was done that second glass and desperately needed to pee.

Not tired anymore, I tidied up my mess in the bathroom and went to make myself something to eat in the kitchen while drinking a giant glass of water. I cut up some of the cheese I had gotten and opened one of the packages of fancy crackers, and brought over one of the bags of cookies while settling down on the couch. Man, this food just tasted so good.

**. . . . .**

I woke on the couch, still in my housecoat and covered in cookie crumbs. I felt _great_. I stood up and took a nice long stretch, and used the washroom before breaking out my yoga mat. After my hour and a quick shower, I realized that today was New Year's Eve and we'd be heading home tomorrow. I was definitely done with skiing, my muscles were tight and sore, but I still had a lot of energy. I took my time getting ready, picking out this cute little black dress that I brought. It had lace shoulders and back, and the fabric had all sorts of little beads that caught the light nicely. I blow-dried and straightened my hair like I had the other day, and put on a pair of earrings and a necklace before looking at the clock. It was almost noon, and I hadn't heard from Edward since I left him yesterday. I had actually slept alone last night, and remembered the relaxing feeling of the buzzing energy going quiet. It was back to usual now, and I could feel Edward in his room. He was very still.

I grabbed my key and ran out of my room without even bothering to put on shoes or a coat, and knocked quickly on his door. He opened it within seconds, looking at me with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry about last night, I fell asleep while watching TV," I said in a panicked tone. I had left him so quickly yesterday and then hadn't talked to him all night, and I was worried that he would be mad, but he gave me a happy smile, pulling me into his room.

"I figured, I could hear you snoring by the time I came back," he said lightly. I sighed in relief, what an overreaction. He took a step back, and looked from my hair down to my toes with a big grin on his face, and I felt my cheeks flush. "You. Look. Amazing," he said, carefully separating each word. Before my smile had fully formed, he had me in his arms, gently pressing his lips to mine, and I felt myself smile through the kiss. He pulled away much too quickly, and the excitement in his eyes put butterflies in my stomach.

We hung out in his room for the afternoon talking. He had apparently had his fill of skiing also, so we kept each other company while the others were out. In the afternoon we went out though, there was a big outdoor concert going on, and we floated around the village until I got too cold. Edward offered to take me to a restaurant for dinner, but I had seen an interesting bar that I wanted to go to. It was busy, and I got carded at the door, but Edward managed getting us two seats at the bar and I was happy to be able to sit as close as him as I wanted to without it attracting attention. It was really cool inside, they had all of these big fake trees decorating the inside that went up into the ceiling. I saw a few fake birds hidden in some of the branches too.

"Hey Darlin'," the young bartender said as he walked over. "What can I get you to drink?"

"I'm not sure really, what would you recommend?"

"I'll getcha something nice, don't you worry," he said with a friendly smile. "And yourself?" He asked Edward.

"Just a glass of water thanks, designated driver," he said politely, and slid a little closer to me. It was really packed in here, and I was starting to get a headache again. I told myself that I wouldn't make a habit out of this, but it wasn't often I was in this sort of situation.

The bartender came back with a strawberry daiquiri for me, and it was absolutely delicious. I ordered a salad too. It was so warm in here, and I found myself leaning into Edward's coolness. He had me almost trapped between him and a wall, his hand resting on my back as he leaned in while he talked so I could hear him over the large crowd.

"Is it hard being in here? With all these people packed into one place?" I worried, I was getting rid of my headache, but he wouldn't have any way to deal with his.

"Nope," he said easily, brushing my hair behind my ear. "When I'm close to you like this… your presence seems to drown out everything else. It's very calming." It reminded me of what I had told him the other day, how when I was close to him it made the other feelings not feel so suffocating. I smiled happily at him. When the left side of his mouth pulled up into that crooked smile I felt my heart skip a beat.

"God, you are so handsome," I blurted out. It took me a moment to realize what I had said, and my hands shot to my mouth as my face flamed. His smile got bigger. He laughed, and the sound was so beautiful and happy that it made me melt.

My food arrived, and he brought me another drink with it to replace my empty one. I went to take a sip and noticed Edward giving me a curious look. I paused. "Is this okay? Does it bother you at all?"

"No, I've just never seen you drink before."

"Yeah, I was never really into the whole drinking thing, but this tastes delicious, and it _is_ a holiday," I said with a smile. "You sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all," he said easily, and I relaxed.

"So what are the others up to?"

"I have no idea, to be honest," he said distractedly, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger.

I once again noticed that he seemed to do this often. "You seem to like touching my hair," I pointed out. My mouth didn't seem to want to communicate with my brain right now.

"I do. It's so soft, and smooth like water. It feels softer than silk." He ran his fingers through it, sliding them down and caressing my spine lightly. "Does it bother you?"

"Not at all, it feels really good," I said quietly.

"_You_ feel really good. I love touching you, I never want to stop," he said in a deep voice.

"I don't want you to stop either," I whispered, leaning into him. My hand went up without thought, caressing his face, and slowly trailing down the hard tendons of his neck. I smiled when I saw him shiver from my touch.

"The fireworks are going to start in half an hour, did you want to watch them?"

"Sure," I said happily, and finished my drink quickly. Edward dropped some money down on the table, and pulled me away before I could complain. I was a little dizzy, but I couldn't stop smiling and clung to his arm as we walked. We stopped a little outside of the crowd that had formed, leaning against the side of one of the buildings. I leaned comfortably into his side as he wrapped his arm around me, and closed my eyes while listening to the loud music of the outdoor concert that was still going. It felt so hot out here, and I ended up unbuttoning my coat.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked.

"Not at all," I said, turning in his arms to look at him. I smiled brightly, placing my hands on his stomach. His other arm went around me, and he smiled back. I could just stare at him all night, he was so handsome that he didn't feel real. I could easily feel his hard muscles through his shirt, and slowly slid my hands down his stomach. He felt so muscular, much more than he looked, and I found myself wondering what he would look like without his shirt on.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked with an amused voice, watching me curiously.

"You," I answered immediately, then laughed.

"Are you drunk Isabella?" He asked with a laughing tone.

"No, but I feel amazing. _You_ feel amazing," I trailed my hands down his stomach again, and thought I saw his eyes get a little darker as he held me a little tighter. I jumped slightly when I heard a large boom, then laughed. People around us started shouting, counting down from twenty. When I met his eyes again though their voices got quieter. I saw the flashes of coloured light behind him after they hit one, but didn't look away. His hands slid down to my hips, pulling me closer to him as he leaned down and kissed me. The electricity shot through me hard, filling me with adrenaline. My hands slid up into his hair, gripping him tightly as my lips fought against his. I sighed when his grip tightened on me, and I pressed my body up against his as his delicious breath spread over my face. He smelt so good. My mouth opened slightly against his, and I gently traced the tip of my tongue over his lower lip. He tasted delicious too, his lips were so sweet.

I felt his growl rumble in his chest before I heard it, filling me with excitement. He lifted me up off the ground, turning us and pressing me against the wall as his mouth became more urgent against mine. The sudden movement made me gasp and grip onto him even tighter. His hands slid down my ribs again, so close to touching my breasts. His firm grip went lower, and I felt a painful twinge when his thumb slid over the raised edge of the line that went across my stomach. I gasped again, this time being gripped by overwhelming fear and insecurity from him touching my scar. He was knocked backwards, landing in the snow on the ground in front of me and was staring at me with horrified eyes. My hands shot to my stomach, trying to cover the spot of lingering pain. Oh god, he would have felt it, he had to. My breathing started coming too fast, and luckily I was already leaning against the wall because I think I would have fallen over.

"Isabella?" He got up slowly, at a _human_ pace, and I saw his eyes flicker to the sides quickly. He came towards me again, but when his hand reached forward to me I saw him flinch away like he had been shocked, and suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, and shut my eyes tightly while wrapping my arms around myself. "Just give me a sec, just-" I felt like I couldn't take in any air, I was almost gasping but there was no relief. I needed to calm down. This place was too crowded, I could feel them once again and it was overwhelming. It was making it harder to organize my thoughts enough to calm down. I didn't know what to do, and I opened my eyes to see Edward kneeling by my side. He caught me quickly in his eyes, and all I saw was love and concern in them, no anger or disgust. I tried to match his breathing, and his gaze calmed me down after a couple minutes. I shakily stood up, and he mirrored my actions before hesitantly reaching out and wrapping me in his arms. My whole body was trembling. "Can we get out of here, please," I whispered, my voice catching slightly. He nodded, kissing my forehead and then leading me back to the hotel.

When the elevator jolted up my legs gave out, but he had already had an arm around me and caught me easily. He scooped me up in his arms, taking the key card out of my hand before I rested my head against his chest. We were in the room quickly, and he was laying me down in my bed in less than two seconds once we were inside.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I didn't know where to start; hurting him, my reaction, making a scene.

"No Isabella, you don't need to apologize. Are you okay?" I felt his cool hand brush over the side of my face, but didn't know how to answer because I was not okay, but was not going to say that aloud. "Is this because of your scar?" It was a moment before I could move, the air feeling thick in my throat again, but I nodded. "Please, look at me Isabella."

I took in a deep, shaking breath, and then opened my eyes. His face was hovering above mine. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever known Isabella. Not just because of your body, but because of your soul. But your body _is _beautiful, and your scar doesn't change that fact in the slightest."

"You haven't seen it. It's ugly, and I'm afraid that, if you do-" I shut my eyes again tightly. No, I would not let myself cry. His thumb brushed under my eye softly, and I looked at him again.

"Nothing in the world could lessen my attraction to you, my _desire_ for you. When you came into my life, you changed it irreversibly Isabella." He leaned back slightly, and very slowly ran his hand over my stomach. I fought myself to stop my body from flinching as he stopped over my scar, and then he leaned down a pressed his lips to it gently over my dress. A tear escaped my eye, and he looked back up at me. "I will love you until my dying breath and nothing can change that." He leaned back up, and kissed me gently on the lips. "Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered back, and then I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. His arms went around my back and held me, and I relaxed with the closeness of his body. I was so tired. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," he said. I slid over on the bed a little, and he laid down next to me on his back. I looked at him for a moment, then slid closer, laying my head against his chest and wrapping an arm around him. His arm wrapped around me and started rubbing up and down my spine slowly. His proximity downed out all of the humming from the rooms around us, and I drifted away quickly.

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Grow

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Nineteen :: Grow**

**Isabella**

The buzzing of his cell phone in his pocket underneath me woke me up with a start, making me flinch away and sit up quickly. I faintly heard Edward curse under his breath before reaching for it. He was lying comfortably on the bed, one arm folded under his head and he flipped the phone open while watching me. He just looked so gorgeous, and inviting. I wanted to curl back up against him and drown out the buzzing that was quickly filling my head, but after looking at the clock I realized that we would probably be leaving soon. Sure enough, it was Alice on the phone, and I started walking around the room and packing up my things. I also took out a pair of jeans, a shirt and a sweater. I went into the bathroom to get changed, but my arms just wouldn't reach the zipper on the back of my dress today.

I walked back over to Edward, who was watching me carefully as I approached him. I swept my hair over my shoulder and turned around. "Would you mind?" I asked quietly. I didn't hear him move, but I felt him. His cool fingers took the zipper, sliding it all the way down my back. "When are we leaving?"

I didn't pull away yet because his hand had rested on my hip, then I felt one of his cold fingers travel from my neck down my bare spine very gently, giving me goose bumps. The feeling he gave me when he touched my skin always amazed me. He felt so good.

"Would you be ready in an hour?" His voice was so close to my ear, and I nodded before going back to the bathroom. I took a few minutes to do some stretches, but I was too wound up for the slow movements to help calm me still, and had a quick ten-minute shower before getting dressed. I closed up my suitcase, completely packed now, before going to the kitchen and making something to eat quickly. It was more of a habit, I really wasn't hungry and didn't finish even half of my bagel. I packed up all of my left-over goodies, stuffing some of it into my suitcase but most of it in my purse, and was ready to go.

Edward had gotten changed and taken his things to the truck already, and wouldn't take no for an answer as he carried my suitcase for me outside. It was only six maybe, but the parking lot was busy with other guests getting an early start at their drives also. As soon as I was in the truck, I leaned forward in my seat and covered my face with my hands, trying to block it all out. I felt the door open as Edward came in and sat beside me. He rested a hand gently on my back, and I relaxed from his touch slightly. "Are you feeling okay?"

I sat up again and he removed his hand. "I'm okay, just a little headache." I was afraid that I'd worry him if I told him the extent of how much this stupid shield thing was messing with me. I knew that there was nothing that he could do to help me, there was no prescription out there for weird paranormal abilities, so there was really no point in getting into it. I could easily see in his eyes that he didn't believe me though, but he didn't push the subject. Instead he placed a cool hand on my cheek, and I leaned into his touch happily before he leaned in and kissed me.

His electricity drowned out everything else, and I leaned into his lips a bit more when he didn't pull away. He was like a drug to me, the way his body made mine react when he touched me making me feel so high, and seemed to erase all other thoughts and pain away. We had only been together for a week really, but I felt like I had been with him a life time. It just felt so right being with him, touching him like this, and when his lips were on mine it made all of my other insecurities of this relationship dissolve away.

I jumped back when Alice and Jasper opened their doors to get into the truck. They greeted us cheerfully, but I saw the worried glances in their eyes before they went quiet, and I immediately felt like Edward had told them what had happened last night. I looked over at him, and saw in his eyes that he'd been caught. I didn't know how I felt about that, I was completely embarrassed yes, humiliated, but could I really hold it against him? Just because I didn't have family to go to and talk about these sorts of problems with didn't mean that I should hold it against him because he did. If I still had my Mom when this thing in my head had started happening, I knew that I would have gone to her and asked her for her help. With all of her spiritual energy and magical theories, I bet she would have had some ideas about what to do about it. I could clearly picture that perfect cube box in my closet. I had always thought it was pretty, and had saved it from the trash when my father had thrown it out.

I took a bottle of water out of my purse and drank the entire thing in one go, then leaned away from Edward and rested my head on the cool glass as we drove away. I didn't give the beautiful mountains a second glance, just wanting to go back to my silent little house.

We drove in uncomfortable silence for a few hours until our first stop, and I quickly ran in to use the washroom. When I came back out, Edward was sitting in the truck alone. He reached out and put a hand on my knee when I sat down.

"I'm sorry Isabella, I was worried and didn't know what else to do."

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you."

"You seem like you are," he challenged.

"I'm not mad at you Edward, I'm embarrassed." I leaned forward, praying that he would understand. "Your family isn't only your family, they are also my closest friends. It's not easy knowing that my best friend and probably every other one of them knows about what happened. I don't like having my life exposed and left to be viewed like an open book. I'm a private person, always have been, and it just makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't help that they're skirting around me like I'm going to snap at any moment either."

He hesitantly reached out, brushing my messy hair away from my face and resting his hand on my neck. "I'm sorry, I never really thought about it that way. It wasn't fair for me to do that."

"It's okay Edward, really. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I hurt you, worried you. I'm sorry that I'm so weak. You deserve so much more." I closed my eyes, refusing to let myself cry and worry him more. So I didn't see him lean forward, I just felt his lips on mine, shocking me and making my eyes flash open again. He was staring deeply into my eyes as his lips were softly brushing against mine.

"You're not weak Isabella. You're the strongest person I know. I wouldn't change a single thing about you." He kissed me again and rested his forehead against mine. I opened my eyes again, carefully analyzing his face for a trace of a lie, but found none. "I can tell that there's something that you're trying to hide from me though. I don't know what it is, or why you're afraid to tell me, but it's scaring you. You know you don't need to hide from me right?"

I nodded, but didn't speak. I didn't want to get into this now. Right on cue, Alice and Jasper were in the truck again, and we were pulling away. Edward didn't push the subject thankfully, and just went quiet. I didn't slide away, but hugged onto his muscular arm and rested my head against his shoulder while entwining my fingers through his. I relaxed when I felt his lips against my hair and shut my eyes.

**. . . . .**

I woke up when I felt the truck stop again, and my head was resting in Edward's lap. His arm was draped across my stomach, my fingers still entwined with his. I sat up and stretched before looking at the clock. It was just after two, and I was absolutely starving. I went to use the washroom again, then stood outside while munching on an apple while I waited for Alice and Jasper to come back. Edward came out and waited with me, standing behind me and wrapping his arms around me while he held me against his chest. I still felt half asleep, and this time when we went back into the truck I didn't even try to hide as I slid into his lap, leaning my head against his chest while he held me, and fell asleep against him quickly.

**. . . . .**

"Mmm." I shivered slightly, waking myself up as I felt his cool lips on my neck, leaving a trail of kisses from my shoulder up to my ear. I melted in his arms, leaning my head back and loving the sensation. I heard Jasper's laugh, and my eyes flew open at the sound, remembering where I was. My face flushed red, and I looked at Edward in horror. He looked completely unabashed though, and quickly pressed his lips to mine. I was distracted once again, my hands sliding up his chest and holding onto his neck. My entire body was tingling, but the feeling of the truck door closing brought me back to the present. I pulled away and smacked Edward lightly on the chest, my face embarrassed. "Don't do that!" I hissed in frustration, but couldn't manage to get the small smile off of my face as I quickly got out of the truck. Edward laughed.

I stretched, and my face broke into a big smile when I realized I was in my driveway. Edward already had my bag, and followed me up to the house after I gave Alice a hug. It was almost six and getting pretty dark out already. He came inside with me, and I brought my suitcase into my room before going back out and joining him. He had a torn look on his face while he hovered in my foyer.

"Do you need to leave?" I asked, not really wanting to let him go after that kiss.

"No, I don't work for a couple more hours, but I wasn't sure if you'd want to…"

I dropped down on my couch and patted the seat next to me with a smile, and he was there sitting next to me before I could blink, smiling brightly. Seeing him look so happy to just be next to me filled me with warmth. That's all I really wanted right now, to make him happy. I quickly leaned up on my knees, kissing him as I held onto his neck. He was frozen for a moment, but quickly grabbed onto me, pulling me closer to him as his lips moved against mine. He pulled me into his lap without breaking the kiss, leaning me backwards and hovering over me, supporting my weight like it was nothing at all. I had no other thought in the world except for him.

When he left for work my house felt so quiet. It was a comfortable silence though. I went and unpacked my suitcase, threw in a load of laundry and made myself something to eat before going to bed. I slid under the covers, and froze when I looked over at Jacob on my nightstand. I realized that I hadn't thought about him in a few days, and felt a horrible pain shoot through my chest.

My love for Jacob and my feelings for Edward felt like completely different things. Jacob had found me, broken and scared, and healed me and taught me to love and be happy again. He was the other half of my soul, and I hadn't really felt like a whole person before I met him. I was only half a person with him, he was my other half and completed me, and his absence would always be a painful part of myself. There was no way I would ever forget him or stop loving him, because he was still such a big part of who I was. He made me what I am today.

But when I had come here, I was more than broken. I was breathing but wasn't really alive. I had the support of my new friends to get better, but it was something that I did myself. I came to my own realizations, made my own decisions to keep going and did it on my own. I fixed myself this time, even though I hadn't done it nearly as well as Jacob had.

But with Edward… we were two very separate individuals. It wasn't a quick and fast thing that happened with him, I hadn't even liked him when I first met him. But he became my friend, and I enjoyed spending time with him. I've known him for a year and a half, and over that time those feeling grew. He made me happy, and I missed this sort of happiness so much. I didn't want to hate myself anymore, the loneliness it put in my life was suffocating.

I knew I needed to move on with my life. Not try to forget about him really, but to stop letting myself feel so bad about wanting to be happy. I couldn't do that while falling asleep looking at him every night. I got out of bed, and went over to my little study area. I cleaned off the best shelf, and put everything that was Jacob on it. I couldn't hide it away in a box, it felt wrong. His ashes, my ring, bracelet and wolf and my pictures of him, I set it up like a small shrine to his memory. It didn't feel like enough, but it was all I could do. I went back to my bed, and let a couple silent tears escape as I drifted off to sleep.

**. . . . .**

A week off was way too much. My morning felt so weird, trying to get back into my routine. I woke up, did my yoga, had a shower and got dressed before having breakfast and heading off to work. I thought being home might lessen the effects of being around people on my mind, but just like yesterday it only felt stronger. It was like the more I used it, the stronger it got, and that had me deep in thought for the entire day.

The magic of Jacob's tribe had only awakened because of the proximity of the Cullens, and I wondered if their presence was doing the same thing to me. I knew because of Elijah that I had a shield before I came here, but I had been completely unaware of it. But after spending months in the hospital surrounded by Alice and the others the feelings had slowly started to set in. As time went by and I stayed with them, it got stronger, then after my birthday party it started affecting Alice and Jasper's gifts more and more. The feeling got stronger, and had been almost overwhelming since I pushed Edward away with it the other day. Now that invisible force that had seemed so sporadic didn't feel so much like that anymore. Every time I had used it, my emotions had been chaotic and strong. It was like it manifested my fear and anger, and I was willing to bet if I did it again that it would make things so much stronger.

I still had no idea of what I could do about it though. No matter how hard I tried to calm myself and make it go away, it never did unless I was with Edward, or drinking apparently. I doubted leaving, putting distance between myself and my vampires would do any good, and I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to do it anyways. I just hoped that it would reach a ceiling point at some time and stop growing, and then maybe I would be able to adapt to it. Or maybe, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to control it more like Jasper could with his gift. I was worried that I was going to make it worse, but didn't see any other option.

So that's what I did. Time went on, and every Monday to Friday from eight in the morning until five at night, I would follow the small feelings of everyone that came into my work, and tried to make their presence disappear from my mind. Even after months of trying it seemed to accomplish nothing except for giving me horrible headaches.

But Edward was there waiting for me every time I got home from work. It was impossible not to touch him, the need of his soothing presence and the happiness his proximity gave me were irresistible. The two and a half hours we had together before he would go into his work never seemed to last more than a few seconds.

I had mixed feelings about what my life had become. I hated going out in public, and only did so if I really needed to for things like for work or groceries. I forced myself to do it for Alice though, worrying about what would happen to our friendship if I drew into my peaceful bubble too much. I was terrified that she'd become bored with me and stop spending time with me, but every time I went out shopping with her I found myself close to tears from the stress of it. The only time I really felt at peace was when Edward was holding me tightly in his arms, or working on my property.

I hated being cooped up inside, and couldn't wait for summer again. Getting the basement in good shape helped distract me a little, all of the walls and ceiling had just been left open and the floor was bare grey cement. After building some walls, separating the hot water tank and furnace into their own little utility room, building a nice sized laundry room and leaving the rest open into one bigger room, the rest was very easy. The process of applying the drywall, sanding and painting all of the walls was an almost meditative process. Esme helped me with the ceilings, I was just too short and bad at standing on ladders, and we just put up those floating ceiling boards so that I could still access the pipes if I needed to. By the time spring had come around, I had just finished doing the floors and trim. It looked so much brighter, cheerful even with the pale, cream-coloured walls, white ceiling and white linoleum floors. I had no idea what I was going to do with the bigger, empty room, but I figured it would be a good feature for when I sold the house.

Once spring came around it got a little easier, being able to spend my spare time outside. I was always in my backyard, it became a sort of safe haven for me. I built shallow stone walls around all of my garden beds. With Esme's help I designed and built a gazebo, and had planted a bunch of moon flowers and morning glories that had taken to it nicely and covered all of the trellises in green vines and beautiful flowers. I built raised boxes for a large vegetable garden, replaced my deck, and had accumulated a large collection of bird feeders. I loved sitting out back there now, I made the others stop coming in through my backyard, and now had a large collection of animals that visited my little oasis. All sorts of different birds; Cardinals, Blue Jays, Chickadees and Mourning Doves. Lots of rabbits, but I grew so much more than I needed that I really didn't mind them snacking in my gardens. I had gotten a few ground hogs, they loved my Brown-Eyed Susans, and had even seen a fox once. I loved their company, I could never feel any of them coming and it was so peaceful.

My weekends were the only breaks in my routine really. Each one was a little different. I would usually visit their home at least once to see everyone. Edward tried to get his weekends off work, but it happened pretty often that he'd get called in anyways. When he was free though he was always by my side which made me feel guilty. I felt like I was isolating him, and weighing him down with my hermit-like tendencies.

"You must find being with me so boring," I told him sadly one night. He had tried taking me out to a movie, but even with him holding my hand the crowd had felt too oppressing and he took me away before I could have another panic attack.

He took my face in his hands, kissing me quickly. "I'm never bored when I'm with you Isabella. _Never_. Just being in your presence makes me happier than anything else."

"It really makes you happy, sitting here and doing nothing with me all the time?" I wanted to believe him, but it was hard.

"We're not doing _nothing_. We're together, we're talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company, reading and playing piano and watching movies." He leaned in and kissed me gently again. "And I would rather sit here feeling your lips against mine more than anything else in the world." He looked back confidently into my eyes, challenging me to try and not believe him. Something in his expression changed though, and he reached out and stroked my cheek softly. "But, there's something that we need to talk about." His eyes widened when my heart rate accelerated. Those were terrifying words, and I had been waiting to hear them for the last six months that we had been together. "Isabella, you have an anxiety disorder, and you need to talk to someone about it. I'm worried about you, and worried that it's going to make you sick."

Those were not the words I was expecting, and relaxed a little. "I do not have an anxiety disorder," I told him seriously, trying to keep the anger out of my voice.

"I really think that you do. The panic attacks, your fear of crowds and-"

"I am _not_ afraid." I told him angrily. "You just… you don't understand," I told him a little more calmly, trying to reign in my annoyance.

"Then help me to understand," he whispered, leaning in with so much concern in his eyes. "What are you trying to hide Isabella?"

"It really doesn't matter Edward. I'm fine." I stood up quickly from the couch, but he was in front of me and he had me in his arms in a second, pulling me against him tightly.

"Please Isabella. Let me help you."

"You can't!" I shouted, and he was pushed back a few feet, breaking his hold on me. "There's nothing anyone can do about this! I'm not _afraid,_ I just hate feeling like I'm drowning every time I'm in a crowd. I can feel them all, each and every individual life in my mind and it gets stronger every day. They're constantly pulling at me, filling my mind and I hate the feeling. It's suffocating and overwhelming and I can't block any of it away, and it gives me headaches and makes me uncomfortable, but I am _not afraid_ and there is no point in even talking about it because there's nothing anyone can do to make it go away!" I was breathing heavily and shaking in anger, but it seemed to evaporate when I looked at his horrified expression. I was always hurting him, and I despised myself for it. "I'm sorry," I whispered, knowing that the words just weren't enough as I buried my face in my hands.

"This is because of your shield?" He whispered, and I nodded. "I'm sorry Isabella. I knew that it made you uncomfortable sometimes but I didn't… How long has it been this bad?"

"After my birthday," I whispered.

He was holding me tightly once again. "Why didn't you ever tell me? You've been carrying this around with you for almost an entire year and didn't say anything. _Why?"_ He sounded so hurt. I reached up and took his face in my hands.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I knew that there was nothing you could do, and I hate worrying you so much. I just didn't want to hurt you."

He picked me up, flashing back over to the couch and holding me in his arms while looking at me seriously. "Seeing you in pain hurts me Isabella. I don't want you to hide to try to protect me like this anymore. Please."

I knew he was right, we couldn't keep secrets like this from each other. We were very much committed to this relationship now, and I needed to be more upfront with him. "I won't, I'm sorry Edward."

He shook his head, brushing away the apology and kissing me once more, making my head spin. He ended the kiss abruptly. "You get that feeling when you're around me too though right? You can always feel when I'm near just like everyone else." I nodded, not really seeing where he was going. "Is it easier for you then, when I'm not around?"

"No!" I said quickly, seeing the thought in his eyes. If he thought being around me was hurting me like the others, I knew he would leave to protect me. I gripped onto him tightly, sitting up straighter in his lap and looking up at his eyes seriously. "I told you before. Being around you, it's the only thing that helps. When you touch me," I slid a hand down his neck and down his chest roughly yet slowly, and saw him melt under my touch and hold me a little tighter. "I can't think of anything else and it makes everything just fade away. You make me _happy_. Don't you dare even think of leaving me because you think it might help."

He didn't bother denying it, he knew that I could read him too well. Instead, his arms became a vice around me, pressing me tightly against him while his lips crashed against mine. In one quick movement, he had me on my back on the couch, holding himself above me while he kissed me. I gripped onto him tighter, pulling my upper body off the couch while needing to feel him against me, and felt one of his arms slide under my back and hold me there. "I'm sorry, it was a horrible thought," he whispered against my lips in between kisses. "I will never leave you Isabella. _Never."_

"Good," I whispered. He kept kissing me until my head was too dizzy to think, my body feeling like it was on fire and going limp in his arms. Sometimes I got so distracted by him that I forgot to breathe. He continued to hover above me, a hungry look in his eyes as I was trying hard to slow my breathing.

We got carried away with those heated kisses occasionally, but it had never gone further than that. He was respecting my wishes to take things slow, but I often felt myself daydreaming about things taking a step forward. Now wasn't the time though, not after our conversation. He laid down on the couch beside me, wrapping his arms around me. Our noses were almost touching, and I made myself start talking before I got pulled too deeply into his eyes. I told him everything that I thought I knew about what was going on, all of my little theories and details. I could tell that it was torturing him, not knowing what to do, which is why I had gone so long without talking to him about it in the first place.

"It's okay Edward," I said in a soothing voice. I traced a finger along his bottom lip before kissing him lightly. "Just this, you holding me like this, that's all I need."

**. . . . .**

Things got a little better after that. Edward was closer to me than ever, and I hadn't thought that would be possible. When he was with me he never let me go, and I loved it. What I was before this, after Jacob, hadn't been living at all. I needed to feel someone, have someone holding me and loving me to really feel alive. And Edward made me feel _so_ alive. He didn't try to persuade me into going out to things that I didn't enjoy anymore, knowing the reason and extent of why. I'm pretty sure that he even talked to Alice a little, and I was thankful that it hadn't negatively impacted our friendship. We found other activities to do. He had gone hiking with me last weekend, and I took him to one of my favourite places. After a four hour walk, we sat with our feet dangling over a forty-foot cliff, looking out over the water of a wide river. This weekend though, he wanted to take me to one of _his_ favourite places. I was a little anxious, because this weekend was supposed to be sunny and despite how long I had been here, I had never seen any of my friends in the sunlight. I was usually working during the day, even on the weekends I enjoyed my peace working alone in my backyard, and there just weren't many really sunny days. But still, we had been open about their secret for close to a year now, and I thought it was really odd.

It was a little after one in the afternoon when he came over, and I was just getting out of the shower. My balance had started to improve after six months of dedicated yoga training, but I had managed to trip over a rock and land face first into a pile of wet soil, and had to take a second shower.

"How far are we walking?" I asked, trying to figure out what to wear. It was really hot outside, but it was usually safer for me to wear a protective layer if I was stumbling through the woods all day. Bugs had never really bothered me, there was just something about me that seemed to repel them.

"We won't be _walking_ at all," he said from the kitchen. I could hear the smile in his voice, and my mood got even brighter. I put on a pair of Khaki shorts and a dark green tank top before braiding my wet hair and running out to meet him. I sighed happily when he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. His cold skin felt especially wonderful today with the high humidity.

"Hey," I whispered when he pulled his lips away slightly.

"Hey," he whispered back with a large grin. "You ready to go?"

"Definitely." We walked out into the woods, protected by the shade of my house, before he stopped and knelt down. I happily wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and wrapped my legs around his waist as he stood up. Before he moved he slowly slid his cold hands along my bare legs around him, and I shivered against him before gripping on a little tighter. His hands wrapped around each of my legs, holding me just above and behind each of my knees before he shot off.

This was my favourite way to travel, and it made me excited for the gift I had gotten him that was coming in this week. I was happy that he ran a little bit slower than usual, letting me enjoy the scenery of the forests around us. The hot air felt almost cool because it was blowing past us so quickly, and I was glad that I had decided to tie back my hair. I felt like we had been running for at least an hour before he stopped.

There was a wide circular clearing in the woods, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The ground was perfectly even, and covered in thousands of tiny purple wild flowers. He stopped right in the center of the clearing before he knelt down a little. I loosened my grip on him and slowly slid down his back, landing lightly on the ground while looking around in awe.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered. He had taken a seat on the ground, laying out his jacket beside him for me to sit on. I smiled as I sat down, and looked around again. "How did you find this place?"

"Hunting," he said, a little nervously. He was much more uncomfortable talking about his diet than I was. I thought it was a little silly; I ate hamburgers all the time, I just didn't take mine extra-rare or have to chase after them.

I was tracing the petal on one of the little flowers in front of me when the large fluffy cloud that had been blocking the sun blew past, and I felt the warm tingle of the hot sun on my shoulders. I sighed happily from the feeling, and looked over at Edward. My heart skipped a beat in my chest.

His skin was almost shimmering, reflecting and distorting the light around him like sun off of rippling water. It was like his skin was embedded with of millions of tiny diamonds. He was watching me, worry plain in his eyes. I turned my body to face him slowly, moving closer to him on my knees before reaching out and touching his face. I ran my fingers across his forehead, then over his temple and down his smooth jaw before tracing over his lip lightly.

"You're so beautiful," I said, thinking that the words didn't do him justice. I saw him relax at the sound of my voice, and he laid down in the grass next me. He closed his eyes as I laid down beside him on my stomach, leaning up on my elbows as I continued to touch and admire his fascinating skin. After tracing down the tendons on his arm, I took his hand in mine, holding it close to my face as I traced the lines on the palm of his hand, and moved it in the light to watch as it sparkled.

"You have no idea how amazing that feels," he said, and I looked up to find him watching me with a smile. I smiled back, thinking that I really did. I pushed myself up on my arms, and his eyes never left mine as I leaned over him and ran my fingers through his hair before leaning in and kissing him. I rested my hands against his chest, leaning in and pressing my body against his as a hand slid down my back. I knew without his proximity I would be sweating in this bright sunlight, and I shivered again as his fingers played with the edge of the back of my shirt. Too soon though his hand moved, and he rolled us onto our sides so that we were still facing each other. We stayed in the little meadow until the sky went dark, just watching each other.

**. . . . .**

I was so excited Saturday morning. Alice had come to give me a hand moving Edward's present before he got home from work. I was in his driveway waiting for him to get home, wearing a pair of tight jeans, black leather boots and just a white tank top under my open leather jacket while leaning against my own present next to his. When he pulled in I was pretty confident that I looked cool. He got out of his car, his wide eyes darting between me and the new addition to his driveway.

"Isabella, what are these?" He asked quietly.

"A gift," I said happily. "I thought it might be fun."

"It's… it's too much. You shouldn't-"

"Do you not like them?"

"No, they're beautiful it's just that-"

"What? You're allowed to buy me a grand piano, skis, take me out on countless dates and buy me dinner but I'm not allowed to buy you one little motorcycle?"

"These aren't _little motorcycles_, they're fucking Ducati's." I laughed when his eyes went wide, I had never heard him say that word before.

"Well, fine. If you don't want to come with me I'll just go by myself," I said knowingly. His arms went around me, lifting me off the ground and holding me at his eye level.

"I'm sorry. It's absolutely amazing, and I love it. Thank you."

"That's better," I said with a smile, then kissed him. He put me down when I pulled away, and I happily skipped over to my pretty silver and purple Ducati, and strapped on my helmet. "You ready to go for a test drive?"

"Since when can you ride a motor cycle?"

"I learned last night while you were at work, it's a piece of cake," I told him easily, and straddled my beautiful bike. I had to stand up and kick it hard to get it started, and shivered happily when I felt it roar to life. I zipped up my black jacket and turned my head to look at him. He was staring at me with an amused smile. "Catch me if you can," I said, and peeled out of his driveway.

It was so much fun, being evenly matched with him for once. I was a great driver, and had to hold back as to not scare him too much. It was an amazing feeling, shooting through the air on my own. I immediately fell in love, and it was obvious that Edward was enjoying it too. It quickly became a favourite pastime of ours, and he had even gotten us matching helmets with built in little headsets so that we could talk to each other as we drove. It was much better on gas than my truck was, so every day that the weather permitted I used it to get to work.

And work was good too. I hadn't been able to start blocking out the feeling of the others surrounding me in my mind, in fact it had gotten so strong that I could even tell the differences between vampires and humans now, but I found I was getting more used to it. When Edward was with me, even if he wasn't touching me, sometimes I could concentrate on him hard enough that it made the other ones fade a little. I had been trying to get a grasp on the wall I sometimes could push them away with, trying to knock over empty cans with my mind, but to no avail. I was happy, but no matter what when I was alone the knowledge that I had of the Volturi kept floating through my mind. If my shield got strong enough, maybe I could use it against them. Elijah was dead yes, but I blamed them for the death of my three most beloved people and they still owed me two more lives. Their leader was a vampire named Aro I had learned, he was the one who sent Elijah out to bring back 'new recruits,' and I was still determined to kill two of his most beloved people as well. I needed to be patient though, my time would come and if I wasn't careful I was certainly doomed to fail.

In taking those people though, he had destroyed my last life. I doubted two would be enough, I wanted him to watch while I destroyed everything that he loved, and then kill him too.

**. . . . .**

We were hanging out in my living room Friday night as usual. I was sitting in Edward's lap while I surfed through the channels for something to watch, and he was gently twirling a lock of my hair around one of his fingers. I settled for some documentary on the discovery channel about the pyramids and leaned against him. I completely melted as he swept my hair over my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me as he started leaving a trail of soft, cool kisses down the back of my neck. It wasn't fair for him to tease me like this when he was leaving for work in ten minutes.

I turned around to shoot him a suspicious look and saw an amused smile form on his lips. He knew very well what he was doing, and deserved a taste of his own medicine. His expression turned a little confused for a moment when I gave him my brightest, happiest smile before a sort of dazed expression took over his face. I placed both of my hands on his large shoulders, and moved myself so that I was straddling his lap very slowly. His eyes went so wide as I slid one finger down the side of his face, neck, and then down his chest. I leaned my head in, smiling at the hungry look in his eyes, but just before my lips touched his, I pulled my head to the side and left a trail of kisses up his neck.

When I got close to his ear, I pressed my body up against his, and felt his hands tightly grab onto my hips. "It's not nice to play with me like that just before you leave," I whispered seductively into his ear, then lightly grazed his ear lobe with my teeth.

His chest rumbled with his growl, and I crushed my lips against his. His rough hands slid down my sides before grasping onto my bottom, and pulled me against his chest even harder. After a minute I pulled away, and he looked at me in shock. I smiled, and hopped off of his lap, relaxing again on the couch beside him.

"Have a nice night at work," I said to him with a smile. He shot me one frustrated look, groaned, and kissed me again before he left. I was smiling as I heard his bike peel out of my driveway, and went to throw in a load of laundry. It was still gorgeous outside, so I lit up my tiny barbecue and went back in while it warmed up. I got all of my fixings for dinner, putting them on a tray and going back outside. I sipped on a glass of white wine as I cooked my burgers and listened to the soft music of my radio coming out through my kitchen window. I wasn't an alcoholic or anything, but I had discovered a fondness for white wine and liked to have a glass now or then with a meal and just relax. I finished a burger and a half and picked at a pile of fresh strawberries on my plate. I loved the fact that they, along with my lettuce and tomatoes had all been grown in my backyard. Even though the sun had gone down, it hadn't gotten any cooler, so after about an hour of sitting and enjoying my back yard I went back in.

After a shower I got changed into some comfortable pyjamas, it was too hot to wear anything other than a pair of shorts and a camisole, and I opened up the windows in my little study area. I loved my reading chair, it was almost half the size of my bed, completely round with only a quarter back that was piled with comfy pillows and tucked right into the front window. I picked up the novel I had been working on, a series that my boss had recommended that I had fallen in love with. Before sitting down, I brushed my fingers gently along the little wooden wolf that was watching me, and gave the picture of Jacob behind it a sad smile. I sprawled out on my back on my comfy circular chair, holding my book above me while I read. Once my stuff was done in the dryer, I put away all my clothes before going back to my book and curling up on my side. I read for hours and ended up falling asleep while closing my eyes to enjoy the gentle breeze blowing in through the window.

**. . . . .**

I woke up when I felt Edward on my property, but was too tired to make myself get up. He let himself inside and I forced my eyes open to greet him.

"Hey," I said, rubbing my eyes and marking the page in my book before closing it. It was grossly hot out again and it was still only morning. I started debating on installing air conditioning.

Edward was next to me in a second, sitting close to me on my circular chair. I was about to sit up, but he was leaning over me then, blocking my path. It surprised me a little, making me drop back on my pillows and look at him, my eyes popping open against my heavy lids. He leaned in closer to me, and I could see the same burning in them that he had had when he left last night. I smiled, feeling satisfied that he knew what it did to me when he did it. "Hey," he whispered thickly. His eyes slowly traveled over my body underneath his, and I felt my face start to heat up. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for a single second since I left," he growled, a mischievous smile playing in his lips. "That was not a nice thing to do," he whispered quietly, his sweet breath washing over my face as his hovered only inches away.

"Now you know how I feel," I said back in a challenging voice. He grinned as he pulled away. It felt like his eyes were burning me as they traveled over my body again as I was laying back on my pile of colorful pillows. The way he was looking at me sped up my heart rate a little, he made me feel so beautiful with his obvious look of enjoyment. He reached out, brushing away some of my hair that was fanned out on the pillow beside me. He placed his hand there, leaning over me and holding himself above me. My pulse thudded loudly in my ears as he traced his hand down my neck slowly. His skin felt so amazing, making my skin tingle from the combination of his electricity and the refreshing cool sensation of his skin. His hand continued to travel lower though, sliding over my collar bone and then between my breasts and down my stomach. I let out a small sigh of enjoyment as I melted into my pillows, and gasped when he brushed a light finger over my exposed hip bone. Then I felt his nose graze my neck as he inhaled deeply. I knew his attraction to the scent of my blood was more powerful to him than any other human, but I wasn't afraid. He had told me before that he loved me even more than my scent, but he still liked enjoying the bouquet. Then his lips were on my neck, and he straightened his body over mine so that his legs were in between mine. He left a trail of burning kisses up my jaw before meeting my lips hungrily. My arms went up, gripping onto the collar of his shirt and pulling myself closer to him to kiss him harder. I opened my mouth slightly against his, wanting to taste him again as I gently traced his bottom lip with my tongue. He growled against my lips, his own mouth opening a little against mine. When my tongue lightly brushed his, I shuddered in desire and his free hand gripped onto my ribs. It slid down my side, over my hip and down my leg. He cupped my bare thigh in his hand, hiking it up by his waist before sliding his hand back down. His thumb lightly slid up the inside of my thigh, coming so close but not actually touching me there. But as his hand slowly travelled up my stomach, it hesitated for a moment just below my breast. I wanted him to touch me so badly that it was almost painful, and I grabbed his hand and moved it over my breast. I could easily feel his cool skin through the thin silk fabric of my shirt. I let out a small moan when he rubbed his hand over my breast and cupped it in his hand, squeezing it gently. He traced a gentle finger over my nipple, rubbing it then pinching it lightly with his fingers. I moaned, my legs wrapping around his waist like a vice and actually pulling myself off of the little bed while I clung to him. He pressed me back against the chair again with his body, pinning me down with his weight. I could feel him between us and moaned, gripping onto his thick arms tightly. He pulled away slightly, and I opened my eyes to find his smouldering golden ones burning into mine. "You're so beautiful Isabella. I want to see you, touch you," he whispered in a deep voice. I was breathing heavily as I looked into his hungry eyes while he palmed my breast again. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I whispered back, my pulse thudding in my ears. His lips were on mine again, kissing me so passionately that I forgot to breathe again. As I pulled my mouth away to gasp for a breath, his lips went to my neck, and I felt the tip of his tongue sweep along my pulse, making me shudder.

"You taste delicious," he said in a low growl before he started kissing my collar bone. His body pulled away from mine as he leaned onto his knees and kissed my lips again gently before sitting up almost. He watched me squirm under his touch as he cupped both of my breasts in his hands firmly, before pinching me lightly and sliding both of his hands down ribs. His cold thumbs played against my skin at the hem of my shirt, lifting it slightly. He hesitated while watching my eyes, begging for permission with his. I didn't want him to see my scar, but I didn't want him to stop even more. If our relationship was going to progress any further in this way, he would see it eventually. I gave him one very nervous nod.

I watched his eyes carefully, trembling under his gaze as he slid my shirt up my body and I leaned forward so that he could pull it over my head before settling back against my pillows once more. My hands tightened into fists as I fought the urge to cover my stomach with them. I watched his face for any sign of disgust, but all I saw was lust and admiration as his eyes traveled over my naked torso. His big hands slid up my legs, which were still firmly wrapped around him, over my hips and up my stomach, before sliding over my beasts as he leaned over me. "God Isabella," he whispered thickly into my ear. "You're stunning, dazzling, beautiful. There are no words that do you justice," he growled. A single tear rolled out of the corner of my eye and I shut them tightly. His lips were against mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. I wanted to feel his skin on mine, my body felt like it was on fire. As I pulled my body closer to his, he wrapped his arms around me, sitting me up with him so that I was straddling his lap. As his hands slid down my bare back, I reached down and pulled up his shirt. He let go of me so that I could pull it over his head. As I leaned up to pull it off of his arms, he caught my breast in his mouth, his tongue flashing out over my rigid peak. I gasped, and his cold hand gripped onto my waist to prevent me from moving as he moved over and did the same to my other one. He laid me back down gently, then his hands and lips were everywhere. He must have kissed every inch of my skin until I was panting and squirming underneath him. When his lips traveled along the waist of my shorts I couldn't even breathe. He slowly slid his hand over my shorts, sliding his thumb down my center on top of him. I shivered, and a sound something close to a whimper escaped my lips. He slowly moved his thumb in a circle over my most sensitive spot and my body pushed into his touch. God, it had been so long since someone had touched me like this. Years. I felt his lips brush mine lightly, and I opened my eyes to look right into his. My body was trembling in desire, wanting him so badly. My eyes traveled down his bare chest and my heart stuttered at the sight in front of me. His body was absolutely marvelous, perfectly toned and heavily muscled like a god. My shaking hands shot out to touch him and he leaned into me as my nails trailed over his stomach, making me grip to him even tighter and want him even more. But I wasn't ready to take things all the way with him, no matter how much I wanted him to keep touching me. He smiled at the look of obvious desire in my eyes, and his thumb slid between us once more, making me flinch.

"Do you want me to stop?" He whispered, knowing the answer. It was a moment before I could speak.

"Edward, I-" I looked at him in worry. "I'm not ready to-"

"No, not that," he whispered, burning me with his golden eyes. "I just want to touch you, nothing else," he growled. I whimpered again as he rubbed his thumb in another circle, and my body pressed into him. He chuckled lightly. "I think I have my answer." I looked at him again, and just couldn't bring myself to refuse. I wanted this, I wanted Edward so badly, and it had been so long, over two years since I had felt this sort of pleasure. I knew he saw my acceptance in my eyes as he gave me that charming crooked smile and he kissed me again. I tightened my hold on him as I leaned into his lips, and his body responded by using it's weight to push me back into the soft chair. The feeling of his cold skin was so amazing, satisfying the fire that my body had become and shocking me with the force of the electricity he emitted. I slid my hands up his neck since I couldn't touch his beautiful stomach like this, and slid my fingers into his amazingly soft hair. His hand traveled down my arm, going down my ribs and my hip then down the leg that was hiked up around his waist. My grip loosened as his hand went over my knee then up the inside of my thigh. My skin there felt so much more sensitive to the coolness of his but I still loved it. Then his whole hand slid over me in between my legs, and his cold fingers caught onto the waistband of my shorts before dipping inside of them. I gasped against his lips as his cold finger slipped over me, and started kneading little circles. My breathing became heavy as I melted and shivered from his touch and he moved his mouth over to my neck to let me breathe. His movements became a little faster as he applied a bit more pressure, and I arched my back as I gripped onto the edges of the small circular bed underneath me. His lips traveled down to my breasts again, and he slowly dipped one of his long fingers inside of me.

"Oh! Oh god, Edward," I panted, pushing into his touch. He started slowly pumping his finger into me while circling me with his thumb, and I felt myself clench around him. He sped up the movement, keeping a completely steady pace, and within seconds he had me crying out his name as I shuddered underneath him and felt my body almost melt. I felt like my skin was on fire, and he quickly started covering my body in gentle, cool kisses as I trembled and tried to breathe. I opened my eyes as I felt his nose brush mine gently, and met his. They were so bright, brighter even than the dazzling crooked smile on his face.

"That was the most entrancing thing I have ever seen," he said in a deep voice, and I wrapped my shaking arms round his neck as I pulled myself up to kiss him. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and just held onto him tightly, needing to feel his cool skin on mine. He wrapped an arm around me, holding me against him as he rolled onto his back, and I continued to hold onto him as he trailed his other hand up and down my bare spine while my body started to calm down.

**. . . . .**

My hold on him had relaxed when I fell asleep, but when I woke up my arms were still loosely wrapped under his neck while my head rested on his shoulder. One of his hands was resting on my waist, while the other one was still gently trailing up and down my spine. He stopped the movement, bringing that hand to the other side of my waist as I propped myself up against his chest. My face flushed red as I looked down at his smiling face. He brought up a hand and brushed a thumb across my warm cheek.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep on you," I whispered shyly. Well, I was embarrassed really, not sorry. My body felt amazing right now pressed up against his cool skin. The sun was bright in the sky filtering in through the curtain, and the room was sweltering hot.

"Don't be. I'm not," he said with a grin, and leant up to kiss me. I leaned into him, and his head settled back into the pillows while I took his face in my hands. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asked quietly, and little nervously.

I stared deep into his eyes as I answered with a smile. "Okay is an understatement. No, you didn't hurt me in the slightest Edward," I said, half laughing, then I kissed him again while holding him as tightly as I could. I felt him smile against my lips, and when I pulled away I rested my head on his cool chest again.

"What would you like to do today?" He asked me quietly. I felt his chest vibrate with the words and smiled from the feeling. "It's not even noon yet."

"I don't know, it's so hot," I mumbled against him, sighing when I felt his cool hands on my back again. He chuckled.

"The sky should cloud over soon, we could go visit everyone? I bet the house is cooler than yours."

"Mmm. Okay. Just let me grab a shower first." I pushed myself off of him, and smiled as his eyes traveled hungrily over my body. I went to turn around, but he grabbed me, pulling back towards him and covering my stomach in kisses. I squealed in laughter, trying to wriggle out of his grasp as he tickled me, and ran over to my bathroom as soon as I was free.

I was reluctant to get out of the cool water, but I made myself turn it off and step out after almost twenty minutes. I threw on a plaid skirt and a white tank top before braiding my hair and dropping next to Edward on my couch. Unfortunately he had put his shirt back on, but I could still feel his coolness as I curled into his side and he wrapped a strong arm around me. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against his chest until it was safe for him to go outside.

We rolled down the windows and blasted the air conditioning as soon as we were in his car, and I hung my arm out the window as he drove. My stomach grumbled slightly.

"Can we stop for ice cream?" I asked, giving him a sweet smile. He grinned back and nodded, and we stopped at a little dairy bar and I got a big cone of strawberry ice cream on the way out of town. It was almost as sweet and delicious as Edward was, I thought with a smile, and I felt him looking at me out of the corner of his eye as I ate it, making me smile more as my face turned a little red. I finished it just before we pulled onto the long driveway that led up to the house. I realized that it had been a really long time since we had been to Edward's house. Now that I had a piano at my place we did our lessons there, and we were almost always there or here. He dashed to my door to open it for me as soon as he parked, wrapping an arm around my waist as we walked up the front steps.

I sat in Edwards lap on the floor, his hands wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder as I played a game of chess with Jasper. Everyone was home, and we all sat together in their giant living room for the entire afternoon. Esme always wore the biggest smile on her face when she saw Edward and I together like this, and it always made me so happy to see that they approved of our relationship, and didn't seem to mind that I taken up so much of his free time. After I beat Jasper, Edward kept me in his lap while he played a game against Alice. It was an entertaining thing to watch, Edward saw Alice's moves in her mind and she was able to see what his moves would be before he made them. The whole game had only lasted a couple minutes and they had only moved three pieces before Alice called out "Checkmate!" happily and Edward groaned. I had started to drift of in his arms again as it got late, and he took me home.

He walked me up to my front door, and held me tightly while he kissed me. I didn't want to let go of him for even a second. I pulled away from his lips, but not his body while I looked up into his eyes. I could see that he didn't want to leave either.

"Would you like to stay over tonight?" I asked shyly, and his face broke into a smile. He came inside with me, closing the door behind us, then followed me into my bedroom. He paused in the doorway, looking around. I looked at him curiously, combing out my braid with my fingers.

"I've never been in your bedroom before," he said with a smile, taking a step inside. I was shocked, realizing that he was right.

"Well, make yourself comfortable," I said with a smile, and stepped into my big closet. I slipped on a comfy pair of shorts then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth before going to join him. He was laying in the center of my bed, his arms folded behind his head comfortably as he watched me, that grin still on his face. I flicked off the light, and slid over to his side on my bed. It was too hot to get under the blankets, so I just slid up next to him, and hesitantly leaned my head against his chest. One of his hands came down and he started combing his fingers through my hair, making me melt against him. "Are you sure you're not going to be too bored lying here with me?" I whispered into the dark room.

"I'm positive," he said in a cheery tone, and I couldn't help but smile. "Would you like to go to the meadow tomorrow?"

"That sounds perfect," I whispered, and I felt him move as he leaned up to kiss the top of my head.

"Goodnight Isabella," he said quietly.

"Good night," I whispered back, and fell asleep comfortably in his embrace.

**Thanks for Reading! **


	20. Chapter Twenty: Warm

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty :: Warm**

**Edward**

She looked so peaceful in her sleep, and I was grateful. The tortured expression I had seen in her eyes was burned into my mind, along with the electric shock she had thrown me back into the snow with when my thumb had gone over the edge of her scar. I hadn't meant to touch it, I knew through Alice that her scar still caused her pain and I would never want to hurt her, but her expression had been about more than the physical pain I had probably caused her. There was so much fear in her eyes. Her shock had silenced every voice in the surrounding crowd of hundreds of people for an entire minute, and they all flooded back on at once. I immediately realized that a half dozen or so people had noticed me fall down, and the tiny woman in front of me who was obviously distraught. I fought with my body to move at an agonizingly slow pace as I got up an approached her carefully. I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, and tell her that everything was alright. I reached out to her, and my hand had been shocked away again about two feet away from her, making my mind go silent once again. It was fascinating, but there were more important things to attend to. I had been looking in her eyes when it had happened and knew that it had been completely involuntary, scaring her even more.

But something else had changed, her eyes took on an almost glazed look for a moment as her body slumped a little more against the wall. Then I saw more fear as her eyes darted around at the crowd surrounding us and she shut her eyes like she was in pain. I called Alice in the same second, and luckily the family was close by and made their way through the busy crowd in seconds. She sent Rosalie and Emmett out on interference, and his large form blocked us away from the view of a couple who were close to deciding to come over and check on us. They quickly looked away, shying away from their very inappropriate display.

Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, her heart beating much too quickly. I didn't know what to do, afraid of hurting her by trying to touch her again. Jasper shied away from my pain as she seemed to lose her strength and slid down to the ground against the wall, barely able to breathe as she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. I followed her down, leaning in the snow next to her at her level. This was so much worse than any panic attack that I had seen her have, and I was terrified. The terror was still in her eyes as she opened them and looked at me, underlined with a plea for help. I exaggerated the movements of my breathing, making sure not to break eye contact with her as I did so. She worked hard to match me, and though her breathing hadn't returned to normal and her heart was still pounding much too quickly, she wasn't gasping for air anymore. Her body was trembling, and her eyes looked a little watery, but she managed to push herself up. I reached out for her again, sighing in relief when she didn't shock me away and took her into my arms quickly.

"Can we get out of here, please," she whispered faintly. Even her voice was shaking. I nodded and kissed her head before wrapping my arm around her protectively as I carefully led her back to the hotel, my family watching us with worried expressions. I didn't even listen to their thoughts, my mind was too preoccupied.

I knew that she was self-conscious about her scar, but there had been something else there. Her reaction had been about more than that, there was something that she wasn't telling me.

But now, with her head resting on my chest, as she clung to me with surprising strength as she slept, her face looked peaceful. She wasn't shaking anymore, and her heart rate had slowed back down to a steady pace. She had been so exhausted that she had even fallen asleep in the stunning black dress she had worn out. I was tracing down the zipper on her back, easily able to imagine the sound it would make if I were to slowly pull it down, when my phone vibrated in my pocket underneath her.

"Damn it," I said under my breath as Isabella flinched away from me instantly, being startled awake by the faint vibration. I watched her carefully as I flipped open the phone, and she was watching me with an expression I couldn't place.

"Hey, it's me. How's Belle doing?" Alice asked worriedly. Isabella got up and started walking around the room slowly while packing up her things. I talked too quickly for her to understand, not wanting to whisper and make her suspicious.

"You woke her up, she barely slept two hours. She just got up and started packing, I can't really read her face right now."

"I'm worried about her Edward, I think there's something wrong with her," she said quietly. I could hear the pain in her voice through the phone.

"So am I." I sighed as she walked into the bathroom. "I think we should just get her home. She's already up, maybe she'll fall asleep on the drive again."

"Yeah, I think you're right. When will you guys be ready?"

"Maybe an hour or two, I'll come out and bring my bags while she's getting ready."

"Okay, see you soon."

I hung up my phone, and tried to decipher her expression as she came out of the bathroom again, still in her black dress, and walked over to me. I was entranced as she swept her beautiful, long hair over her shoulder and turned her back to me. "Would you mind?" She asked quietly. I didn't hesitate in the slightest as I flashed to my feet, delicately pinching the tiny zipper and slowly sliding it open. Her flawless skin looked so smooth and soft. "When are we leaving?"

I placed a hand on her hip, holding her very gently. I couldn't stop myself from reaching up again and tracing a finger down the curve of her spine gently, leaving a trail of goose bumps on her skin. "Would you be ready in an hour?" She nodded, and walked back over to the bathroom.

I shot back over to my room quickly, changing my clothes and packing all of my things in about two minutes. I went up to Alice's room, and the three of us brought our things down to the truck quickly. I let them know that we'd be back down in an hour, and got back into Isabella's room just before she turned off her shower. She came out wearing comfortable clothes, a pair of dark blue jeans, with white shirt and a faded purple sweater. Her hair was still dripping wet, and hanging lose over her shoulders. I sat on her bed, leaning against the head board as she packed. She looked so tired. I followed her out to the kitchen as she ate, barely, then carried her suitcase out to the truck for her. She seemed to be concentrating very hard on her feet as we walked through the parking lot, and she quickly jumped into the truck. The others were all waiting to talk to me a few spaces over by Carlisle's car.

"How's she doing?" Carlisle asked, and I sighed again.

"There's something bothering her, I'm sure, but you know how hard she is to read sometimes. She's exhausted. I don't want to leave her alone right now." He nodded, and I dashed back over to the truck while Alice and Jasper discussed the schedule with them, letting them know where all the speed traps would be and where to watch out for crossing wild life.

I slid into the back seat to join Isabella and found her leaning forward completely, her head resting on her knees and her arms were wrapped around her legs. I rested my hand on her back, and she seemed to relax slightly. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked her worriedly.

She sat up, giving me a reassuring smile. "I'm okay, just a little headache." Her voice was light and easy, but I didn't believe her. She was never one to admit when she wasn't well. She seemed happy though as she leaned into my hand when I cupped the side of her face, and I lightly brushed my lips against hers.

The feeling never ceased to amaze me. Her hot skin seemed to burn mine, but it was a very pleasurable sensation combined with the electric shock from the contact with her skin that filled my body with adrenaline. It had been one week since she had kissed me for the first time on her piano bench, and it had changed everything so completely. For over a year I had dreamt of touching her, holding her in my arms and feeling her lips against mine, and I was still trying to convince myself that this was real. I was still surprised every time she so casually touched me, kissed me, and whenever I saw her _real_ smile, which was slowly starting to happen more often.

I felt a thrilling sensation shoot through me when she leaned into the kiss, but she jumped away from me when Alice and Jasper came in the truck, and I had to resist the urge of grabbing her and pulling her to me again. They greeted her, plastering smiles on their faces as they tried to not let their concern for her show. I was watching her, so I saw the suspicious look on her face when she looked at them, then understanding filled her eyes. She looked at me accusingly. She knew that they knew.

Her careful mask returned to her face, completely unreadable as she took a bottle of water out of her purse, drinking the entire thing before leaning away from me and resting her head on the glass of the window. I hadn't even thought about it, it was just normal for me. I talked to my family about everything. I watched her, torn, as she didn't speak or move until the truck stopped again four hours later to gas up. She hopped out and ran into the gas station without a word. Alice and Jasper looked at me.

"She knows that you know," I explained, leaning back and pinching the bridge of my nose as I shut my eyes. They didn't know what to say, but they had enough going through their minds without speaking aloud. "Do you think you could give me a couple minutes to talk to her alone? I can't take another four hours of her hating me in silence."

"Okay," Jasper said, and pulled Alice away before she could argue.

Isabella came out a minute later, and calmly sat down beside me as she came back into the truck. I couldn't stay away from her for another second, and I reached out and put a gentle hand on her knee, hoping she wouldn't flinch away from me. "I'm sorry Isabella, I was worried and didn't know what else to do."

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you." Her words were polite, and quiet. She looked out the window again, and I suppressed a groan of frustration. She sounded so honest, but I had trouble believing her words.

"You seem like you are."

"I'm not mad at you Edward, I'm embarrassed." She was speaking quietly while still looking out the window, but after a minute of silence she turned and trapped me in her deep eyes. "Your family isn't only your family, they are also my closest friends. It's not easy knowing that my best friend and probably every other one of them knows about what happened. I don't like having my life exposed and left to be viewed like an open book. I'm a private person, always have been, and it just makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't help that they're skirting around me like I'm going to snap at any moment either."

I could see how hard it was for her to speak those words, she wasn't the type of woman who was comfortable talking about her feelings. I reached out, brushing her soft hair away from her face before resting my hand on her neck. I could feel her pulse pounding against my hand. "I'm sorry, I never really thought about it that way. It wasn't fair for me to do that." She was right obviously, and I felt horrible. Really, my family were the only people that she had really let into her life. She got along with her boss really well, but they never spent any time together outside of the library. There wasn't one other person in her life besides us, and she had been much closer with the others than me until recently.

"It's okay Edward, really. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I hurt you, worried you. I'm sorry that I'm so weak. You deserve so much more."

I froze at her unexpected words, I was expecting to beg for her forgiveness, not being apologized to myself. It was completely unnecessary. Her eyes were firmly shut, her body rigid as it seemed like she was bracing herself for something painful. I didn't know what to do, so I listened to my body instead of my mind, leaning forward and kissing her.

Her eyes flew open in surprise. I kept my lips against hers, staring deeply into those warm pools of chocolate and gold for a moment before pulling away, only slightly. "You're not weak Isabella. You're the strongest person I know. I wouldn't change a single thing about you." I kissed her again, I never wanted to stop kissing her. I lived for the feeling of her electricity, but I pulled away anyways, resting my head on her forehead. She didn't say anything, but didn't pull away from me either. I knew, we all knew that there was something bothering her, hurting her. We had seen it, but she said nothing. When she opened her eyes she seemed to be analyzing my face carefully, like she was looking for something. I had nothing to hide though, she did. "I can tell that there's something that you're trying to hide from me though. I don't know what it is, or why you're afraid to tell me, but it's scaring you. You know you don't need to hide from me right?"

She nodded, but remained silent. Alice and Jasper came back, thinking that our conversation wasn't going to go any further, and they were probably right. I could see that she had no intention of talking about it anymore. I was worried that she would shut down again, but once the truck started moving she slid closer to me, entwining her fingers through mine while she rested her head on my arm. My body seemed to relax while feeling her next to me, and I kissed her sweet smelling hair.

I listened carefully as her heartbeat and breathing slowed down and relaxed. Her grip on my arm eased, and I caught her delicately as her head started to fall forward. I lowered her down so that her head was resting in my lap, but never let go of her hand. I had a permanent smile glued to my face. That she was comfortable around me enough to fall asleep against me filled me with joy, and I loved seeing her face so relaxed an unguarded. Even while she slept I still enjoyed her company more than anyone else's or anything.

Jasper was having a little more difficulty reading her emotions today, which was especially weird since he was so close to her. The driver's seat was just a couple feet away from us. He could still feel her now while she slept, but the sense of her feelings was very faint.

She didn't wake until the truck stopped when we pulled in to gas up again. My body almost felt cold without her touch, something I didn't remember feeling before this week. She seemed half asleep still while she stood outside eating an apple as Alice gassed up. She let me hold her while we waited, leaning against my chest as she stood, her eyes never really opening completely.

I held open her door for her to get in, and had to walk at a slow human pace back to my own door. I sat down, and immediately wanted to pull her closer to me again. As the truck pulled out, she slid over the back bench to me, but instead of leaning against my arm again she moved right into my lap and rested her head against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her immediately, relaxing under her warmth. There weren't any words that could properly describe my happiness. For so long I had lived off of fleeting touches, her hand accidently brushing against mine or our arms knocking into each other. She had always kept such a careful distance between us, between everybody accept for Alice, and now she let me hold her, curled up against me like it was completely normal, completely natural. It just felt so right having her here. I have lived over a century, but had never really felt like I was alive until now. A smile spread across my face as I listened to her slowly drift off to sleep again, and I held her a little tighter.

The last three hours of the drive seemed to last only seconds, and I was so reluctant to let her go, or even wake her up as we pulled into town. I could feel her comfort and happiness faintly through Jasper's mind. It had been even more interesting watching her sleep with Jasper so close by. She twitched a lot in her sleep, and showed much more emotion in her relaxed state than she did while she was awake. Every once in a while he would get little flashes of other emotions, and I tried to imagine what she was dreaming about. I had been praying that she would say something, like she had that one time when she was dreaming about Esme's cooking, but I got nothing. I smiled when I had an idea.

I swept her long hair over her shoulder, and delicately slid down the sleeve of her sweater as I kissed her shoulder. I started leaving a gentle trail of kisses across her shoulder, and saw a small smile start to form on her lips. Jasper could still feel her so I knew I hadn't waken her up. I started kissing up her neck, and I felt it in his mind; pleasure, arousal. The feelings quickly disappeared though when she shivered, but I didn't stop, knowing that she was enjoying this.

_You are _so_ going to piss her off_, Alice thought with a mental smile. I ignored her.

"Mmm," she sighed slowly, waking up as I kissed her just below her ear. She seemed to lean into me more, arching her neck and giving me better access. Jasper couldn't help but laugh at my emotions, excitement, pride, amusement. That sound seemed to snap her wide awake, her eyes flew open and her face turned bright red as she stared at me, embarrassed with a horrified look in her eyes. God, she was just so beautiful. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, and felt her heart start beating a little faster against me. Her hands slid up my chest and wrapped around my neck. They just felt so hot against me, my entire body was vibrating in excitement and I got lost in the feeling of her lips. We had pulled into her driveway, and when Alice jumped out of the truck the noise from the door stole her attention and she pulled away from me. She shot me an accusing glare and playfully smacked me. "Don't do that!" She hissed in annoyance, but I saw her trying to hide the smile that was on her face and laughed.

The few feet of distance between us as I carried her bags to her door was painful after such a pleasant drive. I didn't want to leave her, but I was worried that she might want some space after all the time we had spent together. I hesitated in her doorway while she rolled her suitcase into her bedroom, dreading her coming over and wishing me a good night. She just looked at me curiously when she came back out though. "Do you need to leave?"

"No, I don't work for a couple more hours, but I wasn't sure if you'd want to…" I watched as she went and comfortably dropped down on her couch, and patted the seat beside her. Alice saw my decision to stay and pulled out of the driveway as I flashed over to Isabella's side while smiling happily. I didn't know how I was going to make myself leave and go back to work now.

I froze, always surprised by never knowing what she was going to do, as she leaned up on her knees so she was more at my height, and wrapped her arms around my neck before kissing me. Once the initial moment of surprise faded, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me as I kissed her back. As the electricity built up inside me, begging for more of her, I easily pulled her into my lap again, leaning her over and holding her while our lips danced together. It was just so perfect, everything about her was perfect, and we stayed embraced like that until I had to force myself to leave for work.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was so hard being back home, I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her. Two and a half hours a day, that was all I had. She worked from eight to five, and I worked from eight to eight. She seemed so happy during those short periods that we were together though. I was starting to see her smile more and more. She was slowly starting to let her guard down around me, not working so hard to hide her emotions. I could see her happiness, her annoyance, and her feelings for me in her eyes when she looked at me sometimes, and she seemed to want to be as close to me as I wanted to be with her. Whenever we were together we were always close, always touching, which made the twenty one and a half hours away from her even more unbearable. For me anyways, it seemed much easier for her. She quickly got back into her old habits once she was home, constantly keeping busy with some sort of project. I thought she had run out of things to do in her house, but she started working on her un-finished basement, putting up drywall, floating ceiling tiles and laying down linoleum flooring. That seemed to keep her spare time thoroughly occupied until it was warm enough for her to start working outside again.

The weekends were better, but they still weren't enough. Even on the ones where I didn't get called into work her time was still very divided. We'd go over to the house so she could see Esme and the others for at least a couple hours every weekend, and then there were her trips with Alice that she could only really do on the weekends since she worked full days.

It still worried me, the way she engrossed herself in these hobbies. It was like the only time she ever stopped was when she slept, or when she was with me. I knew that she cared about me, but I also know that I loved her much, much more than she did me. She was still very fidgety, but I noticed after a while that if I wrapped my arms around her a little firmly, she would often relax and go still. I always worried that I was going to hold her _too_ tightly, and hurt or bruise her, but she seemed to like it. So did I of course, her body was so soft and giving under my solid hands, and I just felt so… complete, holding her against me.

She seemed happiest when we were in her home, so it is where I gladly spent most of my time with her. I found that I became more relaxed here than anywhere else too, in the little haven that she had built. Her mood lifted even more once spring came around, and she never wanted to be inside. Watching the slow progression of how she morphed her property into a small oasis was fascinating to watch. This was her, her ideas and imagination, her thoughts that she so easily organized and made into a reality. She was so passionate about everything she did, it was moving. Walking around the side of her house, and seeing her look up and give me her dazzling smile as she was kneeling in a pile of dirt with big gloves on, or watering her flowers or filling one of her many bird feeders never ceased to stun me. I hated to take her away from something that she so obviously loved, but the weather in the Maritimes wasn't very cheery so I still had plenty of opportunities to try and take her out.

I found that she was never as happy when we were out though. It took me a couple of months to notice really, the signs were so subtle. She always wore that small, polite smile, and I was getting better at telling when it was being forced. Crowds seemed to stress her out sometimes, her heart beat speeding up, the way she would sometimes hold onto me a little bit tighter, sometimes she would even start to tremble after a while and tried to hide it, and she seemed to get headaches a lot. It was obvious that she had a problem with anxiety, and I knew that she would never ask for help. I also knew what her reaction would be if I tried to talk to her about it, but her panic attacks terrified me and I needed to find some way to discuss it with her.

And it was only getting worse. She was having one of her low days, where she just couldn't seem to smile fully, and I had hoped taking her out to see a movie might cheer her up, get her out of the house for a while. It was Saturday night, so the theatre was packed. I was concentrating hard on trying to block out the thoughts of a group of men who were sitting behind us. Isabella was looking heartbreakingly beautiful tonight, wearing a white sundress that tied behind her neck, leaving her back bare but her long wavy hair covered most of her skin. She leaned into me though, and her electricity coursing through me helped calm me and soften the voices.

So I didn't notice until then that she was trembling again. She had one arm wrapped around mine, but was holding onto me with her other hand too as she leaned into me. Her breathing was a little shallow, and she seemed to be concentrating hard on her sandals for a moment before she closed her eyes tightly, like she was in pain. I got her out of there quickly, and worried about her sad expression in the reflection of the dark window while we drove. She didn't seem to really calm down again until we were back in her house, and I pulled her onto my lap and held her. I wasn't disappointed, just worried. I would rather be sitting here holding her like this than anywhere else.

She seemed to calm again after a little while, relaxing against me while I combed my fingers happily through her amazingly soft hair. There were so many colours in it, browns, golds, violets and reds, and I loved to watch the colours dance as I touched them.

"You must find being with me so boring," she said quietly against my chest. Her voice was so sad, and I took her face in my hands to look into her eyes. I kissed her quickly, seeing her needless worry and guilt.

"I'm never bored when I'm with you Isabella. _Never_. Just being in your presence makes me happier than anything else," I told her honestly.

"It really makes you happy, sitting here and doing nothing with me all the time?" Her voice was very doubtful, and that worried me. How could she suspect any less? I thought I had made my desire to spend the rest of her life with her, that she knew I wanted to change her and keep her by my side for an eternity, very obvious. How could she doubt my feelings for her?

"We're not doing _nothing_. We're together, we're talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company, reading and playing piano and watching movies." She relaxed only slightly, but I kissed her quickly once again, and felt her body relax a little more. "And I would rather sit here feeling your lips against mine more than anything else in the world." I looked at her confidently, knowing there was no hint of a lie for her to find in my words. This fear and doubt though, maybe it could just be a part of her anxiety problem. Seeing that lingering worry still hurting her in her eyes, I couldn't put it off any longer. I brushed my thumb lightly over her warm, soft cheek. "But, there's something that we need to talk about." I heard her heartbeat stutter at the sound of those words, and hurried on to continue before she got the wrong idea. "Isabella, you have an anxiety disorder, and you need to talk to someone about it. I'm worried about you, and worried that it's going to make you sick."

She relaxed for only a second, before calmly telling me that she didn't, which I had expected. "I really think that you do. The panic attacks, your fear of crowds and-"

"I am _not_ afraid," she said, cutting me off. Her tone was furious, as were her eyes, but she took a deep, calming breath before speaking again. "You just… you don't understand," she said quietly, and much more calmly.

"Then help me to understand," I begged. "What are you trying to hide Isabella?"

Then I saw it. Her fear. She was afraid of something, and she had almost said something, but looked away quickly. "It really doesn't matter Edward. I'm fine." She stood up to leave, but I couldn't let her. I couldn't stand watching her slowly get worse and worse, knowing she was suffering. I stood in front of her, much too fast for her to see me move, and took her in my arms so that she would face me.

"Please Isabella. Let me help you."

"You can't!" She said loudly. Simultaneously, her electricity seemed to hit me with an all-time high, throwing me back with the force of it. "There's nothing anyone can do about this! I'm not _afraid,_ I just hate feeling like I'm drowning every time I'm in a crowd. I can feel them all, each and every individual life in my mind and it gets stronger every day. They're constantly pulling at me, filling my mind and I hate the feeling. It's suffocating and overwhelming and I can't block any of it away, and it gives me headaches and makes me uncomfortable, but I am _not afraid_ and there is no point in even talking about it because there's nothing anyone can do to make it go away!" There was so much pain in her eyes as she almost cried the words, but her eyes went wide in shock before she closed them tightly, clenching her hands in trembling fists. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

I was completely speechless. I knew that she could sense whenever I approached her, it was impossible for anyone to sneak up on her. When we had gone skiing she had said that that the feeling was distracting, but I realized now that she had obviously been understating. It made so much more sense now, how her resistance to our abilities had faded into having no effect what so ever. "This is because of your shield?"

She nodded. I could see that she was horrified by what she had just said, but I was so grateful that she had finally told me. Her gift was growing more powerful. I couldn't really imagine trying to live with my gift as a human, it had been horrible enough as it was, still bothered me, but I didn't have to sleep, work or eat regularly, and I had much more space in my mind than a human to deal with it. But she had been trying to deal with it alone, silently for how long now? "I'm sorry Isabella. I knew that it made you uncomfortable sometimes but I didn't… How long has it been this bad?"

"After my birthday," She whispered. I pulled her tightly into my arms.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? You've been carrying this around with you for almost an _entire year_ and didn't say anything. _Why?" _I was so hurt that she hadn't felt like she could trust me enough to share this with me. Then I realized, the fear in her eyes hadn't been for herself, she was afraid of hurting _me_. As she took my face in her soft hands she eased some of the pain.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I knew that there was nothing you could do, and I hate worrying you so much. I just didn't want to hurt you." I lifted her up in my arms, pulling her into my lap as I sat us down on the couch in one quick movement. She was so worried about hurting me that she would rather suffer in silence than mention it. The only thing that hurt now was the painful realization that she was right. As talented a doctor as I was, there was nothing I could do to stop this sort of thing. It was unheard of really, but even so, I didn't want her to ever be afraid of telling me anything.

"Seeing you in pain hurts me Isabella. I don't want you to hide to try to protect me like this anymore. Please."

Her voice was very quiet. "I won't. I'm sorry Edward." I shook off her needless apology and kissed her again.

But then it hit me. I should have known this from the first moment she had caught me in her woods. She had told me even then that it woke her up when I did it. "You get that feeling when you're around me too though right? You can always feel when I'm near just like everyone else." She nodded. I was adding to her stress, her pain. Unlike me, when she was around me her mind was silent, not mine. I knew that I was endangering her by being here, we were all too far past that now, but I hadn't been aware that I had been hurting her as well. "Is it easier for you then, when I'm not around?" She would be so much safer if we weren't here with her, it would be much harder for the Volturi to find her if she wasn't surrounded by us.

"No!" She shouted at me. Her eyes were terrified for a moment, then furious. She gripped onto me tightly as she straightened in my lap and pierced me with her burning eyes. "I told you before. Being around you, it's the only thing that helps. When you touch me," she gave me a small smile as her hand slowly slid down my neck and then my chest. I melted under her sensual touch, holding her a little tighter and seeing the corner her lip twitch up a little bit more. "I can't think of anything else and it makes everything just fade away. You make me _happy_, you're not hurting me. Don't you dare even think of leaving me because you think it might help."

She could read me too well, and hearing her confident and stern words made me hate myself for even entertaining the thought. She knew that she could leave any moment and that we'd probably never be able to find her, but she chose to stay. If she had left me for the same reasons my life would lose all meaning. "I'm sorry, it was a horrible thought." I leaned into her lips, kissing her firmly. "I will never leave you Isabella. _Never,"_ I told her fiercely, not even pulling my lips away to speak. She was _mine_, and I would never take that for granted or give her up.

I felt her lips curve up into a sensual smile against mine. "Good," she whispered, kissing me again as her arms wrapped around my neck. I held her tightly, drowning in the feeling of her warm body against mine. Her pulse was thudding against me, and her body went limp in my arms. She laughed, taking in heavy breaths as I left a line of kisses around her jaw.

I laid her down on the couch, pinning her between my body and the back of her sectional. Her head was resting on my arm, and the dazzling smile she gave me as I leaned over her to kiss her, sliding a hand down her side and resting it on her hip stunned me. I couldn't believe this beautiful creature was real, and laying here completely trustingly in my arms. I kissed her again fiercely. I loved her so much that it was painful to think about. I made myself pull away from her lips in time so that she wouldn't faint again, smiling as our noses brushed against each other's and her delicious breath washed over my face.

"How long did it take you to get used to it?" She asked me curiously. It was hard to concentrate when she looked at me like that. Her eyes were so big, and I loved being able to watch them so closely. "Feeling all sorts of other people in your head?"

"It still bothers me, to be honest," I told her sadly. I wished I could have told her otherwise but I wasn't going to lie to her. "Is that what it feels like? Like they're in your head?"

"No, not really. It's kind of weird…"

"Luckily for you, vampires are pretty good with weird," I said, not for the first time, kissing her while I smiled teasingly. She laughed, and it was such a beautiful sound. It changed her entire face, making her almost glow. Her hands had been resting on my chest, and slid up to my neck when she kissed me.

"Do you ever get that feeling that someone's staring at you?"

"I can usually see in their minds if someone's looking at me, but I know the feeling you're referring to."

She nodded like that was a completely normal response. "Well it's kind of like that, sort of a buzzing awareness. If I close my eyes though, it's like I can see where they are around me, glowing in the dark like little sparks." She watched me for a moment, and looked like she was about to say something then changed her mind.

"What?" I asked curiously. I tried not to let my frustration show around her, but I never got used to not being able to hear her thoughts. I hadn't realized until I'd met her how much I relied on my little gift for pretty much every sort of social interaction. "I want to know, tell me everything," I urged her. She gave me a small smile while she debated her words.

"Well, I've developed a few theories. Ever since my birthday last year, when I accidently pushed you guys," I smiled at her choice of words. It felt more like being struck by lightning instead of being pushed, but I wasn't going to tell her that. "It's been slowly getting stronger. I knew because of Elijah that I had some sort of shield, but I had been completely unaware of what he meant until I was able to block you guys and found out that your powers weren't working on me. I hadn't really put it together that the weird sixth sense that was slowly setting in had anything to do with it. The pack's magic was always in their blood, but it never re-awoke unless there was some sort of other super-natural being in the area."

"So you think that staying around us is making it stronger?"

Her expression turned worried again, and I brushed her hair behind her ear gently before speaking. "I meant what I said, I won't leave you Isabella. Not unless you want me to, I promise."

She took a deep breath and continued. "Well, that is just one theory. Because I didn't really start feeling much of a difference until my birthday, and then again after the time I pushed Rose and again after New Years. So I'm pretty sure it gets stronger the more I use it. I've been kind of hoping that it would just plateau after a while, and as least give me the chance to sort of start adapting to it, but I've been playing with it over the past couple months. I thought that if I tried hard enough that maybe I would be able to learn to control it like Jasper does. I can't turn it off, but I've gotten a little better at reading it. I can tell the difference between you guys and humans with it." I looked at her, and she gave me a shy smile. "I know yours so well that I could easily identify it out of a crowd of hundreds." I couldn't help but smile back, and leaned in to kiss her again. I didn't want to stop, but I wanted to hear more. "It's only really bad when I'm in a crowded area for too long. It's not too bad at work because there's never more than a dozen people in there at once, but in other places… After a little while it's feels like they're all staring at me and shouting at once, and it just makes it too hard to think."

"I wish there was something I could do." It was torturous knowing that she would suffer through that every time she went out, because I knew that she wouldn't be able to avoid doing so forever. I felt so useless.

"It's okay Edward," she said in a soothing voice. She smiled at me, and traced a finger along the bottom of my lip before leaning in and kissing me softly. "Just this, you holding me like this, that's all I need." I pulled her tightly against me, kissing her passionately. This was something I could do, be there to love her, to comfort her when she needed it. And I would do it gladly, I'd do anything to make her happy.

And that's exactly what I did. I treasured the limited time I had with her, and never let her out of my grasp if I was able to. Not only did she let me, but she seemed happy about it. She stopped hiding from me, but now that I knew it was too easy to see the signs. She would habitually lean into me for comfort when it would start to bother her, or I would see the strained look in her eyes when it became too much. I was more than happy just to spend our time at one of our houses.

. . . . . . . . . .

This was so much better compared to my last summer, watching her from a distance in the shadows. Now she openly invited me to join her in her little hobbies. I had gone kayaking and hiking with her, and it took the small strain out of our relationship now that she wasn't always trying to hide the fact that she didn't like going out very much. I thought it was a little perfect in an odd way, it was like she was made for our family, and that wasn't the first time I had had that thought.

Today_ I_ was in charge of the plans though, and I was going to take her to my favourite place around here, second only to being next to her. I had found the small meadow last summer when I crossed it's path during a hunting trip. I was a little nervous, because it was supposed to be sunny, and wondered if this would tip her over the edge and send her running. I always assumed that she already knew, but I wasn't sure what Jacob Black had told her about us. She never asked either, but it had been almost ten months since we opened up about our secret and stopped hiding, if she stayed with me she would see eventually.

I could hear the water from her shower running when I arrived, and it stopped just after I entered. I sat down on her couch while I waited, trying very hard not to think about the fact that she was naked and probably dripping wet just on the other side of that wall. We hadn't taken things very far physically in our relationship, but I was more than happy with what we already had.

Not that I hadn't thought about it. As much of a gentleman as I was, I was still a man and Isabella was _very_ beautiful woman. But she was a _human _woman, and it would just be too dangerous. I couldn't take the risk of hurting her like that. She had been pregnant when she came here, and I knew about her fiancé and that they obviously had a history, which made me nervous about lacking so completely myself in personal experience in that area. Not that I was uninformed or didn't know what to do; I knew _exactly_ what I wanted to do to her, but it was too dangerous. There had been no one before Isabella. I had just come to accept the fact that I wouldn't find someone I cared about in that way, and hadn't had any interest in it really. But she had changed that.

"How far are we walking?" She asked from her room. I could hear her rummaging around in her closet.

"We won't be _walking_ at all," I said with a smile.

She came out a few minutes later, wearing a pair of light beige shorts and a dark blue tank top that complemented the tone of her skin beautifully. It wasn't often that I saw her show much skin, which was a shame. She looked so delicate, a pale cream color that was slightly darkening from the time she had been spending out in her backyard. She practically ran over to me, and I wrapped my arms around her quickly before kissing her. She seemed to let out a pleased sigh, and I couldn't help but smile. God, she smelt so good.

"Hey," she whispered with a smile, staring up at me. I couldn't help grinning when she looked at me like that.

"Hey," I said back, and kissed her again. "You ready to go?"

"Definitely." She looked excited which gave me a little more confidence, and I followed her out onto her back porch. Her house was blocking out the sun so we were able to walk into the woods safely. This was the only time I was allowed back here, when it was sunny. She didn't like us scaring the wildlife off with our scent.

I stopped and knelt down for her to make it easier for her to hold on, and she didn't hesitate as she came up and wrapped her arms around my neck. My body started humming with energy from the feeling of her skin against mine, and I thanked the higher powers for the heat wave that we were going through right now. As I stood up she quickly wrapped her legs around my stomach before she could lose her grip. The intimate embrace made it hard to concentrate, loving the feeling of her holding onto me like this too much. I slid my hands along her smooth legs, enjoying the sight of them wrapped around me. I felt her grip tighten a bit, and had to fight the growl of desire that I could feel building in my chest. I held onto her legs, making sure she wouldn't let go as I shot off into the forest.

I ran much slower than usual so that she would be able to enjoy the scenery, I knew that she loved being in the woods. She rested her head on my shoulder after a while and I could see her smiling happily out of the corner of my eye. It took about an hour and a half to get there, we were actually in Nova Scotia now, and I stopped in the exact center of the curiously round clearing.

She loosened her grip on me and the feeling of her sliding down my back was very arousing. I gave her a moment to enjoy the view of the thousands of wild flowers though, which I knew were her favourite colour. I sat down on the ground, and laid down my coat out for her to sit on.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered in awe, looking around. She smiled when she saw me, and sat next to me when I patted the jacket for her to take, then looked around again. "How did you find this place?"

"Hunting." I didn't like talking to her about that, I just worried about scaring her away too much, but she didn't seem bothered by it at all. She was playing with a little flower beside her foot, and I froze as the cloud cover blew over, filling the clearing with bright sunlight. She visibly relaxed, smiling happily and tilting her head back as she welcomed the bright light, and then she looked over at me.

I listened to her heart stutter as her eyes went wide. She watched me carefully for a moment, and I debated running back into the safety of the trees. She turned slowly, so that she was facing me directly, leaning forward on her knees as she reached out to my face. I calmed under the feeling of her touch as she traced her fingers over my face.

"You're so beautiful," she said, stealing my words for her. I relaxed completely then, rejoicing in the fact that I still hadn't managed to scare her away and laid back in the grass. I was just so happy and relieved, and closed my eyes while savouring the high.

She continued to trace over my skin, and I could feel her now, holding my hand and moving it back and forth. I took a quick peek at her, and couldn't help smiling. She was lying beside me on her stomach, propped up on her elbows as she was holding my hand close to her face, turning it in the sunlight with an amused grin.

"You have no idea how amazing that feels," I told her. Not just the electricity I felt while touching her, but her heat. I had never really felt cold, but I never felt hot either. I could differentiate between the temperatures but it had no real effect on me. But when she touched me, or when I had her next to me for an extended period of time like this, I actually felt _warm_. It was amazing. She looked up at me, and seemed surprised for a moment, a little embarrassed to find me watching her. She smiled at me, and it seemed to freeze me in place, stunning me. I watched her as she pushed herself up and leaned over me, entranced as she ran her fingers through my hair before she kissed me. I loved the feeling of her weight on top of me as she placed her hands on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, holding onto her delicate waist as I slid a hand down her spine. I felt my fingers brush across her bare skin at the edge of her shirt, and she shivered against me. The sensation felt too good, and not quite trusting myself to behave with her there I rolled us onto our sides, still keeping my arms wrapped around her. She looked even more stunning under the bright sunlight. Her smooth, even skin, her warm eyes that just seemed to crackle with energy, and her beautiful hair. I could write a book on her hair alone, I loved it so much. It had so many different tones and hints of red which were much more noticeable in this light. The day just went by too quickly though as I laid there admiring her, revelling in the almost complete silence. There was nothing but her heart beat, her breathing. Just her.

. . . . . . . . . .

The last thirty-seven hours had been horribly depressing, and I was driving home a little too quickly now that it was Saturday. Isabella hadn't been able to see me last night, so I hadn't seen her since I left her place to go to work Thursday. My plan was to go home, get changed, and immediately head over to her house whether she was awake or not. So I was completely un-expectant of the picture that awaited me in my driveway when I pulled up to my house. There were two beautiful, and powerful Ducati Dark motorcycles parked in front of the steps to my house. One was solid black and chrome, and the other had hints of a metallic deep purple. That's the one that Isabella was leaning against. She was wearing black leather ankle boots, tight faded blue jeans and her black leather jacket open over a white shirt. She looked absolutely amazing, and I was frozen in place, confused and stunned as my gaze flickered in between her and the beautiful black beast beside her. She had a mischievous and satisfied grin on her face.

"Isabella, what are these?"

"A gift. I thought it might be fun," she said happily. No, she couldn't be serious. Those bikes would have cost her at least thirty-thousand dollars.

"It's… it's too much. You shouldn't-"

"Do you not like them?"

"No, they're beautiful it's just that-"

"What? You're allowed to buy me a grand piano, skis, take me out on countless dates and buy me dinner but I'm not allowed to buy you one little motorcycle?" She asked me in a challenging voice, daring me to argue with her.

"These aren't _little motorcycles_, they're fucking Ducati's." My eyes went wide, abashed that I had used that word in the presence of a lady, but she just laughed.

She crossed her arms, and her bottom lip jutted out slightly, her eyes going big. The expression broke my heart, and I mentally chastised myself for being so rude about a gift from her. She took in a shaky sigh. "Well, fine. If you don't want to come with me I'll just go by myself."

I was at her side in half a second, wrapping my arms around her and lifting her up to my eye level. "I'm sorry. It's absolutely amazing, and I love it. Thank you."

She smiled brightly again, swinging her legs happily underneath her. My eyes went wide, realizing she had just played me. "That's better." She kissed me while I stared at her in shock, and I let her go automatically when she pushed me away. She actually _skipped_ over to her bike, climbing on top of the giant thing agilely. "You ready to go for a test drive?"

"Since when can you ride a motor cycle?" She definitely had never mentioned that before.

"I learned last night while you were at work, it's a piece of cake," she said easily. I watched in horror as she had to practically jump on the thing to be able to start it, then she threw her long hair over her shoulder, zipped up her coat and pulled on her helmet. I couldn't help but smile. She was amazing. "Catch me if you can," she teased, her voice slightly muffled from her helmet, before she peeled out of my driveway.

Shit. I knew the woman could drive, but I couldn't stand the idea of her off riding by herself on a motorcycle. That she just learned how to drive in the last _day_. It just screamed trouble. I jumped on my beautiful new bike, who felt like a dream and started up smoothly, then raced after her. She was absolutely terrifying to watch, and I braced myself to fly off of my bike every other minute thinking that she would be thrown off, but it was like the bike was an extension of her body. She rode it like she had been doing it her entire life. Once I calmed down and stopped worrying about her so much, it was amazingly fun. I had actually been thinking of buying a new motorcycle a while ago, Jasper had totaled my last one about six years ago, but I had been distracted when Isabella came into our lives.

The only downside of it had been not being able to talk to her, so I got us helmets with headsets in them. It quickly became one of our things, just like our piano lessons and our trips to the meadow.

. . . . . . . . . .

She seemed to get a little more beautiful every time I saw her, but that also meant she was constantly changing. She grew a little older every day. Time passed by too quickly with her, and my family had now been in this town for three years. We usually moved on about now, but we were hesitating. We were afraid about what her reaction would be, and that she might decide not to come with us. But we would have to leave within the year, and I needed to talk to her about it sooner rather than later.

It was too easy to be distracted when I was with her though. Moments like this, where she was so comfortably resting in my lap, it was impossible to think about anything else. Summer was coming to an end, but we were in the middle of another heat wave. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts and purple tank top, her back resting against my chest as she flipped through the television channels. I had an arm wrapped around her waist, slowly twisting a lock of her hair around my finger when I saw the time. I suppressed my groan, seeing that I would have to leave for work in about ten minutes and then have to wait another twelve hours before I could see her again. I hated this so much. I had always loved my job before, but now it brought me no joy and seemed to be distracting me from what I did enjoy. I wanted to take her away, buy her an island like Carlisle had and provide for her and touch her and make her smile for the rest of our lives. I always hoped that maybe someday, she would love me just as much as I loved her and change her mind. One life time just wasn't long enough, and once she was no longer here I would follow closely after her.

I swept her hair over one of her shoulders. I wouldn't worry about that now though, we were both young and we were happy right now, and I was going to treasure every moment of this that I could. I held onto her a little more tightly, and started kissing her along her shoulder. She leaned into me, tilting her head back slightly and smiling as I started kissing up her neck. God, I loved seeing her like this. How she seemed to so openly enjoy my touch like this, knowing that_ I_ was making her feel that good. I just wanted to keep touching her, to touch all of her. I wanted her so badly that it made me feel crazy some times.

She turned around, facing me and shooting me a warning look, but I didn't feel guilty. I enjoyed her too much, and just gave her an innocent smile. She surprised me when she smiled brightly back at me. It was a very powerful look, almost hypnotizing, and I felt a sort of dazed smile take over my face. She slowly slid her hands up my chest, resting them on my neck as I watched her move. She turned around on me so that she was facing me, straddling my lap. I couldn't move, couldn't look away from her. I had seen this image of her so many times in my mind that it made it seem even less real.

But her electric touch as she slid a finger from my face down my body proved that she was really there. She gave me a small smile, and I fought to suppress the intense desire I had for her. I wanted to see her, to touch her everywhere and worship her body. She leaned in, bringing her lips close to mine, but just before I could lean into her to meet them, she turned her head to the side and started kissing up my neck as she pressed her body up against mine. I grabbed onto her hips quickly, fighting to restrain myself and be gentle with her. She just felt so good though, it was intoxicating. Her warm breath tickled me as she whispered into my ear.

"It's not nice to play with me like that just before you leave." Her teeth lightly grazed my ear lobe, and I snapped. My growl of desire for her rumbled out of my chest, and she kissed me quickly and very firmly. My hands slid tightly down her sides, loving her curves and sliding down onto her firm, perfect bottom and pushing her hips into me even more firmly. I wanted more of her, I _needed_ it. I wanted to shred through the thin clothes preventing me from touching her skin, to-

She pulled away abruptly, and I stared at her, completely shocked. She smiled at me, then slid off of my lap and dropped back casually on the couch. What had just happened?

"Have a nice night at work," she said politely with a pleased smile. I looked at the clock, then back at her and groaned in frustration. If I didn't leave a minute ago I was going to be late. Hopefully there were no cops out. I leaned over her and gave her one more kiss before dashing to my bike and speeding off to work.

I'm guessing that had been her form of payback, and she had gotten me well. That image of her, smiling down at me wickedly as she leaned over me was all I saw throughout my shift. My desire for her just got worse as the night went on. By the time my shift ended I thought I was going to snap from it. I raced back to her house immediately and ran inside, zeroing in on the sound of her heartbeat.

She was just off to the right in her little office area. It was an almost painful sight; she had obviously fallen asleep in her big reading chair, curled up on her side with her thick, wavy hair fanned out around her. She was wearing nothing but a small pair of silk shorts and a thin camisole and exposing so much of her beautiful skin. I had obviously woken her, and she smiled sleepily at me, rubbing her eyes and trying to open them.

"Hey." She put a book mark inside the thick book she had been reading, and wiped her arm across her forehead lightly. There was the faintest sheen of sweat on her skin, making her scent intoxicating. In one quick movement I was beside her on the large circular chair.

She went to sit up, but I just couldn't have that. The image of her lying there was too perfect. I surprised her when I leaned over her quickly, and she dropped back on her pile of pillows. Of it's own accord my body leaned in closer to her, drowning in her wonderful scent and the heat she radiated. I realized I still hadn't said anything to her yet, and worried that I might be frightening her, but she gave me an amused smile and seemed a little satisfied. She was fully aware of what she had done to me.

"Hey," I said back to her. My eyes slowly traveled over her body beneath me, taking in every stunning detail and committing this image of her to perfect memory. I smiled as I saw her face flush red. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for a single second since I left." I heard her heart rate increase slightly and was pleased as I leaned in closer and lowered my voice. "That was not a nice thing to do."

Her voice was confident and teasing. "Now you know how I feel."

Hmm. I suppose she had been right, it may have been becoming a bit of a habit. But the thought of leaving her always hurt so much, I needed to make the most of every minute or I would panic. She had no idea how short her life was.

But did she really feel like I felt? I didn't think so. She wasn't so overcome with this desire, this craving that make it too hard to even think of anything else. But I _wanted _her to feel it. The thought of that made me smile as I leaned back again, admiring her. I could feel that my gaze made her feel a little embarrassed, but she continued to stare back at me confidently as my eyes traveled over her body. I brushed away some of the hair that was pooled on the pillow beside her face so that I wouldn't pull on it as I placed my hand beside her head and leaned in over her again. I suppose it may have not been comfortable for a human, but I felt completely relaxed as I used that hand to support my weight while I hovered over her. My smile got a little bigger while I listened to her heart rate speed up even more, pounding loudly as I touched her neck, sliding my fingers down her soft, burning skin. I watched her face closely, looking for any sign that I was crossing a line as I trailed my fingers lower, slowly going over her delicate collar bone, down her chest between her breasts and down her stomach. But she let out a small sigh, relaxing further under my touch and I knew that she was enjoying it. She sucked in a quick breath when I brushed over the skin of her slightly exposed hip bone, but it seemed more out of surprise than discomfort. Her blood rushing to her face made her scent even stronger, but knowing that I was completely in control of my thirst, I leaned in, brushing my nose along her neck as I inhaled deeply. Exquisite. I wanted the feel of her body, to make her sigh in pleasure and watch her much more than I wanted her blood.

I put my lips to the pulsing vein on her throat, kissing along it as she slid her hands up my arms. I shifted my body, centering myself over her and kneeling in between her legs as I continued to kiss. My lips made their way across her jaw before finding her lips, and her hands slipped from my arms to the collar of my shirt, gripping on tightly as she pulled herself closer to me.

Her sweet breath washed over me as her mouth opened slightly against mine, and her buzzing electricity shot through me as her hot tongue lightly slid over my lip. I couldn't contain the growl that escaped my chest, but it seemed to excite her instead of scaring her. I wanted to taste her too, needed to. Very carefully, controlling the venom that kept trying to pool in my mouth, I let my mouth open slightly against hers, tasting her lips with my tongue. Oh god, she tasted just like her scent. It was amazing. I felt her shudder against me at the feel of my cold tongue and held onto me a little tighter. It was such an amazing sensation, and I held onto her delicate form beneath me with my free hand. With her energy buzzing through me, she felt even more amazing under my fingers. I slid my hand down the side of her body, and down her smooth leg beside me. I cupped my hand under her thigh, pulling it around my waist like I had dreamed of it being so many times. My hand slid back up the inside of her thigh and up her stomach, but I paused just under her breast. I wanted to touch her so badly, and though she seemed to be enjoying this I was worried about pushing too far and upsetting her or making her uncomfortable.

She wasn't uncomfortable though, and grabbed my hand and slid it over her breast herself. Oh god, she felt so wonderful and she wasn't wearing anything under her thin, silky skirt. I could feel her firming from the feel of my cool skin through the fabric. I marvelled at the feeling as I cupped her breast in my hand, and moaned as I squeezed her gently. I lightly traced over the hard peak pushing against the fabric with my thumb, pinching it very carefully.

The moan that escaped her lips sent fire coursing through my body, and her other leg wrapped around me as she held onto me tightly. She was very strong for someone so small, and I could tell that she wasn't even laying down on the chair anymore. I leaned her back down, pressing her down with my body. I felt my body react at the feel of her pressed against me like this with her legs wrapped around me and another pleasured sound escaped her lips as her hands gripped onto my arms.

Even if I couldn't do _that,_ there were other things, safer things that I could do. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to make her feel even better, I wanted to make her cry out in pleasure, to watch her and know that I was the one who could make her happy, and that I could do it better than anyone else. I pulled away from her a little bit, and she opened her big eyes and looked up at me just above her. "You're so beautiful Isabella. I want to see you, touch you," My hand slid over her soft breast again, her breathing heavy as I squeezed her gently. "Do you want me to stop?"

She seemed to be having a hard time answering, but I waited patiently, feeling her. Her voice was barely a whisper, her face flushing as she spoke. "No."

I kissed her again quickly, roughly, listening to the loud sound of her rapidly beating heart. Unlike me she still needed to breathe, but I couldn't bear to take my lips off of her yet and started kissing along her neck. Feeling her pulse around my lips, I lightly traced along the vein with my tongue. She shuddered against me again and I smiled, revelling in the sensation. "You taste delicious," I growled as my lips travelled over her collarbone. I kissed her mouth again, then sat up to admire her once more. It was an amazing site, seeing her chest rise and fall quickly with her heavy breathing, her legs still wrapped tightly around my waist. I slid both my hands up her stomach, cupping both of her breasts and watching her squirm happily underneath me as I enjoyed them. I slid my hands down her ribs again, down to the bottom of her shirt, and lightly traced over the sliver of exposed skin. I looked up and watched her eyes carefully as I slightly slid it up her stomach. I begged her for her permission with my eyes. I knew she was worried about me seeing her scar, but I wanted her to know to that nothing could make her any less desirable to me. After a slightly tense moment, she gave me one small, nervous nod.

She was trembling slightly as she leaned forward so I could carefully lift her shirt over her head before she leaned back again.

She was exquisite, perfect. A goddess on this planet living amongst mortals. I slid my hands up her soft legs, travelling up her bare stomach, over her amazing breasts before I leaned over her once more. I could see the fear in her eyes, her hands strained into tight fists, and it was painful so see her so afraid. How could she think that small mark had any chance at diminishing her beauty? "God Isabella. You're stunning, dazzling, beautiful. There are no words that do you justice."

She closed her eyes tightly, relaxing only slightly as a single tear escaped from the corner of her eyes. It was too painful of a sight, and I kissed her immediately, trying to convince her with my lips how much I meant those words. Her arms wrapped quickly around my neck, pulling herself closer to me, and I slid my hands slowly over her burning skin as I wrapped her in mine. I pulled her against me, sitting us up and loving how she seemed almost my height as she was sitting in my lap, her legs still gripping onto my waist. I slid my hands down her bare back as she kissed me, holding onto me tightly. It was an overpowering emotion, my desire for her, seeming to wash away any other thought. I loved the feeling of her skin, I never wanted to stop touching her. I wanted to feel all of her, to feel her against me. As I slid my hands down the length of her spine again a little more roughly her back arched slightly, and her small hands slid down my chest. They smoothly slid under the bottom of my shirt, and her hot fingers against my stomach was an amazing sensation. That was the only thing that could have made me let go of her for even a minute. I wanted to feel her against my skin, and I let her pull my shirt off. My arms were much longer than hers, so she had to almost stretch up to be able to get it off. That put her beautiful breasts right in front of my face. My arms flashed down to take her again, and I held her there as I took her firm peak in my mouth, flicking my tongue over her. Her skin tasted better than any blood I had ever had. She gasped from the sudden cold sensation, and I held onto her small waist with my hands a little more tightly as I tasted her other one. The moan that escaped her lips as her hands fisted tightly in my hair made me swell with arousal and she leaned into me with her body.

I leaned her back down on the pile of colorful pillows and took too brief of a moment to admire her. Her skin was cream and roses, flushed with arousal. The pale lavender silk shorts she wore complimented her skin so exquisitely, and I was glad that she was so fond of the color. I was also glad that they didn't hide too much of her body. Her hair was everywhere in soft, messy ringlets from drying naturally as she slept and I loved it best like this. Her soft pink lips were slightly swollen from kissing me, her cheeks also a lovely shade of pink, and her thick dark lashes sweeping over her eyes. She opened them and looked at me.

My favourite thing about her body were her eyes. They were so warm, entrancing with their depth. And then there was that vivid streak of golden yellow through her left iris. Almost similar to the color of my eyes, and making it easier to picture what she would look like if her eyes were to completely change to the colour of gold. Once she looked at me all of those thoughts disappeared. Her guard was completely down, and as she stared up at me with those big eyes, her breasts rising and falling with her heavy breathing, I could see her desire for me. So within half a second of that look I had to kiss her again. I kissed her until she pulled away to breathe. My lips then went over her cheeks, kissing every part of her beautiful face before doing the same to her neck while I cupped her breasts in each of my hands and rubbed small circles over her stiff peaks. She leaned into my touch, tilting her neck and moving her head to the other side as I kissed over her throat and trailed up to just below her ear. I could feel her pulse thudding rapidly through her breasts, and her skin seemed to heat up more than cool down from the contact with my cold skin. I trailed my lips across her collar bone and along her shoulder, and slid my hands down her slim arms all the way down to her wrists and back up again before sliding them under her shoulders. Her body melted in my hands and I slightly raised her upper body towards me and appreciated every millimeter of her breasts. She shivered in my hands as I circled her peaks with my tongue, and I marvelled at the picture of her. Below me in my arms, her head thrown back completely open and trusting of me. Her obvious arousal and enjoyment. The fact that I was doing this to her, and that she could feel this way with me filled me with pride and more desire. It was so erotic seeing the way her body responded to mine. As I lowered her shoulders again gently, I slid my hands down her ribs, then felt my way along her legs before gently loosening her grip on me. She responded instantly to my touch, and I leaned back in and left a trail of kisses down her stomach. My lips traced along the feeling of each one of her ribs as my hands traveled over her body.

I felt her tense slightly as I gently kissed the edge of her scar, but as I gently pinched one of her nipples she moaned softly as I trailed over it with kisses. My lips were extra gentle as I traced over it, careful not to hurt her. This was a part of her, and I made sure that at least her body knew that I thought it was beautiful as well, that it made her even more beautiful. She was squirming under my touch, and for a moment I thought I was making her uncomfortable, but one look at her face let me know that there was nothing but desire in her. I smiled as my lips went lower. I slid the waist of her shorts down a half an inch, watching her face as I kissed along her hip bone.

"Edward," she said, but it sounded like more of a moan. I always loved hearing her say my name, always got a little jolt of happiness hearing it on her lips, and god this was so much more than that. A low growl rumbled through my chest, and I watched her face with a pleased smile as I slowly slid my hands down her hip, and lightly brushed my thumb down her shorts. A whimper escaped her lips and she squirmed around under my hands. I slid my thumb in a slow circle around that sensitive spot and grinned as she pushed herself into my touch. I leaned over her body while my thumb kept moving in small gentle circles over her, and loved how small and delicate she looked underneath me. My legs in between hers made her open herself to me a little more when I moved over her again. I wanted to rip her shorts off of her, to have her completely and feel her around me, but my fear of hurting her overpowered it. I watched her pleased face for a moment, watching as her desire grew as she started to tremble, and knew that I wasn't ready to stop. I wanted to pleasure her completely, to make her moan my name again and know that I could take care of her and satisfy her in _every_ way. I leaned in closer to her lips, feeling her heat crash over my chest in waves, as I lightly brushed my lips against hers.

She opened her eyes, looking directly into mine, and I knew that she wanted this, wanted _me_. I leaned back slightly to see more of her, and smiled at the reaction I got when she was able to see my bare chest. Her eyes went wide, and I heard her heart stutter as her gaze traveled over me. Her hot hands shot across the short distance between us as her nails grazed over my stomach. Her thighs tightened against me for a moment, and I saw her flinch as I rolled my thumb over her between our bodies once more.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked her, though I already knew her body's answer. She looked up at me, the sound of her heart pounding filling the room. I could see in her unguarded eyes that she was fighting with her desire, and a worried look stole her aroused face from me.

"Edward, I-" She took a shaky breath, her eyes starting to look panicked. No, I wouldn't do that to her. I wouldn't let her panic, I needed the Isabella who was with me a minute ago to come back so I cut her off quickly, trying to reassure her with my eyes as I spoke.

"No, not that. I just want to touch you, nothing else." My voice had started off low and soft, but my desperate desire to have her back worked its way into my voice, turning it almost into growl as I slid my finger over her again. Then I saw a flash of it in her eyes. I traced my thumb in another slow circle around that sensitive spot, and that desire filled her eyes once more and she whimpered. It was the most amazing sound, and I never thought that hearing her cry could be something pleasurable to me. I chuckled softly at the way she now openly appreciated my touch again, and saw her relax a little more at the sound. "I think I have my answer." She opened her eyes to me again, and I saw it. Not that she only wanted this, but that she wanted _me_ and couldn't deny it. She was giving me her approval, and my excitement broke out in a smile on my face before I leaned in and kissed her again. Her arms tightened around me and she leaned into my lips, and I gently pushed her back down onto the chair with the length of my body. Leaning forward like that made her legs hike up around me a little higher, but I made sure to support most of my weight on the elbow that I was resting on just below her right shoulder. Her hands slid up my neck as I kissed her, and I loved the feeling of them curling into my hair. I slid my free hand down her ribs, her side and down her leg which loosened its hold once again as I slid my hand slowly up the inside of her thigh and pulled my hips away from her a little. Slowly, I slid my entire hand over her center, and watched her squirm as my cold fingertips played with the waistband of her silk shorts, and I opened her legs a little more with mine as I adjusted myself.

Centered over her and supporting myself mostly on my knees, I slipped finger underneath her shorts and growled in pleasure. She was so hot and wet, and my finger gently slipped over her little bud as I kissed her. She gasped against my lips, gripping onto my shoulders tightly as I kneaded her in small circles. Her breathing became so heavy that I moved my lips over to her neck so that she could breathe and felt her body almost melt as she trembled and twitched underneath me. Slowly, and carefully I started to speed up the movements, and applied a little more pressure. Her back arched, and the position made her breasts look even more amazing as she gripped onto the edges of her chair with her hands. My mouth shot down to her breasts, and she moaned as I teased her with the tip of my tongue. It was the most amazing thing I had even seen. I slid my finger down the center of her folds, and gently hooked it inside of her.

"Oh!" She said loudly, pushing into my touch as I slid my finger deeper inside of her. "Oh god, Edward." She was so tight around my finger, and I growled quietly as her body clenched around me. Her breath was coming in quick in pants. I slowly started to move it in and out of her, and she moaned in pleasure as my thumb returned to circling over her bud. As I slowly increased my speed, she whimpered and moved against me as she clawed at my shoulders. She moaned my name again as she gripped tightly onto my shoulders, her voice an almost desperate cry. Then suddenly her whole body seemed to shudder for a moment before going limp underneath me.

I was stunned for a moment as I slowly slid my finger out of her. She was trying hard to keep her hold on my shoulders, but she was trembling and her muscles seemed very tired. I couldn't believe that I had just given her an orgasm, and was filled with pride. She was still burning hotter under my hands, and I ravished her entire body in soft, cool kisses while she continued to try and calm her breathing. Once her body started to calm, and was just slightly trembling now, I brushed my nose against hers, and she opened her eyes to look at my proudly smiling face.

"That was the most entrancing thing I have ever seen," I told her in a deep voice. It had been the most amazing experience of my life. Her arms slid around my neck and she pulled herself to my lips quickly. When she pulled away to breathe again she still held herself to me, resting her forehead against mine. I slid my arms under her, wrapping her in them as I rolled her on top me. As she laid there comfortably against my chest, her arms stayed wrapped around my neck. I rubbed my hands slowly up and down her bare back while she trembled against me, and by the time her muscles had settled I realized that she had fallen asleep. Another proud smile took over my face, and I wrapped one arm around her tightly as I combed through her messy hair with my fingers.

This moment was the happiest moment of my existence. As Isabella slept peacefully on top of me, her arms wrapped loosely around my neck with a small smile playing at the edges of her lips and I was able to feel her bare skin against mine. I didn't think happiness this strong was possible. After an hour her hair was in smooth waves that I had swept aside so it didn't block the stunning view I had of her back. I had one hand resting lazily on her side and traced up and down the curve of her spine gently with the tips of my fingers.

I froze when she laughed lightly against me, and looked at her curiously. Her eyes were still closed, and her face relaxed, but she was smiling. I tried to stifle my own chuckle, she was laughing in her sleep. I had never seen someone do that before, but I was quite certain that she was still fast asleep.

"Isabella?" I asked quietly, barely a whisper.

"Hmm." She slid up my body a little more, resting her forehead against my neck and I wrapped my arms around her as my smile grew.

"Can you hear me?"

"Hmm," she said again, a happy sigh. I wanted her to say something, I wanted to know what she was dreaming about, if she ever dreamed of me. How to ask though? I didn't want to accidently wake her up.

"Where are you?" I asked hesitantly. She laughed again slightly, it was too funny.

"Right here," she said quietly. I fought my laugh, that didn't help.

"Can you see me?" I didn't think asking her if she was alone would work if I was talking to her.

"You're so weird," she whispered, and I couldn't help shaking as I covered my laugh with a hand.

"Say my name," I urged her. I wanted to know that it was me that she was talking to. My eyes shot over to the picture of Jacob Black on one of her shelves.

"Edward," she breathed, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I beamed, and held her a little more tightly. She sighed against me.

"Are you happy Isabella?" I asked her nervously.

"Sometimes. I'm happy when I'm with you."

That was the best response I could have hoped for. I knew that she still grieved over her lost family, that it was a scar she could never completely heal from. But she was happy when she was with me, just like I was with her. I combed a hand through her hair, kissing the top of her head softly. "I love you Isabella," I whispered quietly. She knew I did, but I also knew it made her uncomfortable when I said it. Otherwise I would tell her every day.

"I love you too Edward," she sighed happily, and I froze underneath her.

_She said she loved me_. Yes, she said it in her sleep, but still. That had to mean _something_. It gave me hope anyways. I had known that she cared about me, but if she was starting to love me… if she really, truly loved me as much as I loved her she might decide to change her mind. She would at least come with us when we had to leave here. I held onto her a little more tightly for a moment, kissing her hair and she sighed happily in my arms.

**Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter Twenty-One: Close

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-One :: Close**

**Edward**

She started to stir a few hours later, and I wasn't sure if it was because she had stayed up really late and I had woken her up, or if it was because of my _expertise_, I thought with a smile. I didn't stop the steady rhythm of trailing my fingers up and down her spine until she moved a couple minutes later. I slid my hand down to her waist like my other one as she slid her hands underneath her and propped herself up against my chest. It was a beautiful sight, I had an amazing view, and an entrancing shade of pink spread across her soft cheeks when she met my eyes smiling up at her. I lifted my hands to touch her delicate face, thinking once again how beautiful it was when she did that. Did I really want to try to take that away from her, damn her to my existence? Knowing my answer made me despise myself, and I made myself put it out of my mind to deal with later.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep on you," she whispered shyly, the smooth sound of her soft voice finally breaking the near silence of the room.

"Don't be. I'm not," I told her with a smile. I couldn't bring myself to tell her why exactly it had been so amazing. I wanted to hear her say it to me for real, but on her own terms. I didn't want to pressure her, but I was set on giving her more reasons to want to. I leaned up to kiss her, and let her push me back into the pillows when she leaned into me. She took my face gently in her hands, leaning back to look at me with a timid smile.

A little bit of fear trickled into my happy mood. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

The smile that she gave me was dazzling, lighting up her face. "_Okay_ is an understatement. No Edward, you didn't hurt me," she said with a bit of a laugh before leaning back down and kissing me again. She held onto me tightly enough for me to believe she was putting all of her strength in it. Her pressure felt light as a feather of course, and it was one of the little things that worried me. She was just so delicate, but I was here to protect her now and I would never let anything happen to her. Her enthusiasm though made me smile against her lips and when she pulled away she rested her head against my chest once more. I happily wrapped my arms around her again, smiling and feeling so whole and content with her right where she was.

I would have been more than happy spending the day just like this, I was certain that I didn't want her to put a shirt on, but I also wanted her to enjoy her weekend. "What would you like to do today? It's not even noon yet."

"I don't know, it's so hot," she mumbled against my chest. I started rubbing my cool hands up and down her back again, and she sighed happily as she relaxed even more against my chest, making me laugh.

I wasn't sure if Esme had her air conditioning on, we were always so worried about her being too cold in the house and making her sick, but I offered the idea anyways.

"Mmm." She stretched out along me, and I had to restrain myself as I gripped onto her waist a little more tightly. "Okay. Just let me grab a shower first." She pushed herself off of me and my eyes automatically traveled over her exquisite body. She caught me, and smiled mischievously at me before turning around. I grabbed her quickly, pulling her back towards me and covering her body in kisses. She laughed loudly, a musical sound that could stop any creature in its tracks with its beauty. I laughed against her skin as she tried to wriggle out of my grasp, and I begrudgingly let her flee after a couple minutes. The sight of her running out of the room in nothing but those little silk shorts was an amazing sight.

I sighed when I heard the water turn on, and pulled on my shirt before going and sitting in her living room. There were three books out on her coffee table today, and I picked them up curiously. One was from the Library, _"Wicked,"_ and it looked like she only had a hundred pages left by the purple post-it sticking inside. My eyebrow rose curiously at the second one, a worn old book about the Wiccan calendar that didn't have any markers in it, and then a large, thick book about symbols. I opened it up to the page that had a perfectly folded receipt sticking in it, I could tell from a faint previous fold line that it had been refolded, and grinned at her slightly obsessive-compulsive habits for neatness. I wondered if she had actually been reading about alchemy symbols, or if she had just put the paper into a random page.

It was rare that something Isabella did was by random, so I put the other two books back on the table and read curiously.

It was over half an hour before she came back out, but it was very much worth the wait. She was wearing this grey and white plaid, pleated skirt and a white tank top, and her wet hair was hanging in a long thick braid over her shoulder. She automatically came and curled into my side before I wrapped an arm around her and held her there tightly. She was almost humming as she rested her head against me again. Would I ever get used to the surprise of her walking up and touching me so easily? Even after half a year, it was still baffling to me, the memories of how she always kept such a careful distance from me a year ago still so perfect in my mind.

It was another hour before it was safe for me to go outside, and it seemed like she was just as reluctant to leave as I was. But we got up, and I walked her out to my car with a gentle hand on the small of her back, opened her door for her, and kissed her again before running over to my own door at a human pace. As soon as I sat down I wanted to take her hand again, but unfortunately I needed it to shift gears.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye as we drove through town. She had her window wide open, waving her hand through the wind with a small smile on her lips. I chastised myself when her stomach growled. I had been with her all morning, I needed to remind myself that she needed to eat regularly. She didn't eat enough as it was.

"Can we stop for ice cream?" She asked with an excited smile. Her expression was just too adorable, and I grinned at her before I nodded. I bought her a big cone of strawberry ice cream in town, and she continued to smile happily as we drove slowly over to the house. I tried not to stare as she worked her tongue over the frozen food happily, and may have gripped my steering wheel a little too tightly. This was going to be the second time I've had to replace it because of what she did to my mind. I flashed to her door before she could even reach for the handle when I stopped in front of the house, opening it up for her and wrapping an arm around her as we walked up the front steps.

Esme was waiting for us at the door when we walked in and she immediately pulled Isabella into a tight hug. _You have to stop hogging her all to yourself Edward, we barely get to see her more than once a week_, she chided as she pulled Isabella inside. She asked her about her garden, and I watched Isabella's face light up as she told her about some new flowers she had planted and how well her vegetables were doing. I watched as Emmett attempted to sneak up on her, but she spun around quickly just before he could touch her and gave him a knowing grin. She swatted him away as he tried to mess up her hair, before running over and giving Alice a hug. Jasper came and asked her to play a game of chess and I sat down on the floor and pulled her into my lap as they played. I saw in Alice's mind that she would win right off the bat, so my mind was more focused on the feel of the happy woman in my lap. I had one arm wrapped around her waist, holding her firmly in place while I rested my chin on her shoulder, marveling in her sent and enjoying the sensation of her pulse against me.

_You both look so happy,_ Esme said joyfully in her mind. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help a small grin. She was watching us with a big smile, and I enjoyed the picture from her perspective. Isabella looked so small wrapped in my arms, but that just make her fit that much more perfectly in my embrace. I loved how her face just seemed to glow behind her happy smile, and how it just grew bigger as her face flushed when I lightly kissed her shoulder.

I closed my eyes tightly at the memory that went through Jasper's mind as he watched Isabella's face while she debated her next move with a small smile. It was just a quick flash of an image, but a painful one. The lost, empty look in her eyes the first time he had ever seen her. She had an easy smile on her face, but walking into that room, the feeling of the pain she felt still haunted him to this day. Those memories haunted all of us, the painful consequences of perfect memory. Once she moved her knight, he was immediately distracted by his annoyance as he quickly counted the remaining three moves he had left. She smiled sweetly at him, knowing, but said nothing.

After she finished I played a game with Alice, and she was laughing when it ended after only two minutes.

As much as I wanted to hide us away and keep her to myself, it was really nice being here and having the entire family together in one place. For so long I had been alone, the odd man out. It had never really bothered me until I had met Isabella, but I hadn't known what I had been missing. Sitting here with her now as she started to drift off against me while I talked with Carlisle about some new equipment we had gotten at work, it just felt too good to be true. So different, new, but _right_. It was getting pretty late, so I gently woke her up, and she said goodbye to everyone before I drove her home again.

I walked her up to her front door, quickly spinning her around, lifting her up into my arms and kissing her passionately. Her arms wrapped around my neck, but she pulled her lips away gently after a moment. I opened my eyes to find her watching me nervously. As much as I didn't want to leave, I didn't want her to invite me in because she felt obliged to. I hated seeing that glint of nervousness in her eyes when she looked at me. I tried to bring myself to say goodnight, but she spoke before I could do it.

"Would you like to stay over tonight?" Her voice was quiet and very shy, and after failing to force myself to decline I felt myself smile happily in relief. She was a little timid still as I followed her into her house, but I knew that she had meant just to sleep. I was worried that she might think that because of this morning I might be... expecting something from her, and I wanted to make sure that she knew I didn't.

I just wanted to be close to her. It was the only place I felt clam anymore.

I paused in the doorway to her bedroom, looking around curiously. Though I had seem glimpses of it while walking by before I had never actually been inside of it, at least since I helped her lay down the flooring. Just like in the rest of her house, her room way very clean and organized. Meticulously so, actually. I smiled and she looked at me curiously.

"I've never been in your bedroom before," I explained, taking a step inside.

She gave me a small smile, and I watched, hypnotized as she combed her braid loose with her fingers. "Well, make yourself comfortable," she said, and walked into her large closet. I did as she said, and lay down on her bed, folding my arms comfortably behind my head. Her scent was stronger on the left side, so I settled on the right. She came back out dressed in a pair of bright yellow cotton shorts and a looser shirt similar to the tank top she had been wearing, but walked directly over to her washroom. I was still smiling when she finished and came back out, and looked at me for a moment before relaxing slightly with a smile, and turned off the light. I could see her perfectly as she expertly crossed her bedroom in the dark and climbed into her bed. She slid right over next to me, and I watched as she hesitated slightly before laying her head down on my chest. I hated seeing that flicker of apprehension in her, and restrained myself from touching and kissing her like I wanted too. Instead I settled for combing my fingers through her wavy hair, and was relieved to feel her relax against me. "Are you sure you're not going to be too bored lying here with me?" She whispered worriedly.

"I'm positive," I told her, smiling. "Would you like to go to the meadow tomorrow?" It was supposed to be such a beautiful day, and I wanted to be able to enjoy the sunlight with her.

"That sounds perfect," she said sleepily and covered a yawn. I leaned forward and gently kissed the top of her head.

"Goodnight Isabella."

"Good night." I listened to her breathing gradually slow down as she fell asleep, smiling to myself in the dark as I continued to comb my fingers through her hair. I spent my time planning our day for tomorrow. I knew she didn't have plans to see Alice, and she had already seen the others today so tomorrow would be completely mine.

Maybe two hours after she had fallen asleep, her hand slowly slid over my stomach, surprising me a little. I knew that she moved a lot in her sleep, but it always caught me off guard. Even in her sleep she had a difficult time staying still.

I worried about her getting too cold with me here, she didn't even have a blanket around her, but she never shied away from me or even got goose bumps. I watched, happily amused, as a little while later she pretty much pulled herself on top of me in her sleep, sprawling out across my chest. I hesitated for a moment before wrapping my arms around her, and her hands snaked up around my neck while she hummed happily. Smiling, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of her heart beating against my chest.

An hour later I felt her body go rigid, and opened my eyes to see that her hands were tightened into little fists, grasping weakly onto my shirt. Her face looked stressed, her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned. I rubbed my hands gently along her back, trying to sooth her, but when it looked like I was making it worse I let go of her. I didn't know what to do, trapped underneath her and afraid to wake her up.

"No... Please…"

I stared at her in astonishment, and her head turned to the side. Maybe I should just wake her up? Knowing her she'd probably be really embarrassed though. Maybe it will pass. She turned her head to the other side and I couldn't see her face anymore. She whimpered against my shoulder, and I had to wrap my arms around her again.

"Please what Isabella?" I whispered back, not knowing what else to do.

"Don't leave," she whispered painfully, and I held onto her a little more tightly.

"I'll _never_ leave you Isabella, I'll love you every day for the rest of eternity," I told her fiercely.

"Jacob said that too," she whispered, and I felt a drop of moisture soak into my shirt. I was frozen for a moment hearing her say his name, my heart shattering from the pain in her voice.

"I'm sorry about that Isabella, and I'm certain that he is too," I said, combing my fingers through her hair. "But I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to stay by your side forever, if you'll let me."

She didn't speak again, but she relaxed a little as I started rubbing her back once more. This only strengthened my resolve to talk to her about the move as soon as possible. I held her close, watching as her room slowly brightened with the rising of the sun. She started to stir just after seven, and her arms tightened around me slightly before she froze. I stroked a gentle hand down her spine and she relaxed again before pulling back and looking at me shyly. I smiled up at her.

"Morning," I said happily, and she beamed back at me.

"Hey," she said quietly, and she carefully slid herself off of me. She stood up and stretched her arms high into the air above her before running into the washroom. I sat up against her headboard and when she came back out she took out her yoga mat and rolled it out in the big open part of her room.

"Did you still want to go to the meadow today?" She asked, leaning forward in a lunge. I folded my hands behind my head again, trying to look casual as I watched her stretch.

"If you're still up for it. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, it would be nice to enjoy some of the sunshine." She knelt down on her knees, leaning forward and stretching her arms out in front of her.

"Mmm, that would be nice. When do you want to go?"

It took me a minute too long to answer as I watched her stand up and bend over, placing her hands flat on the floor. "Uhm, whenever. There's no rush."

She stood up and smiled at me while she stretched her arms. "Would you mind if I hopped in the shower first?"

"Not at all. I think I'm going to just run home quickly and get changed. Mind if I use your backyard?"

"Not at all," she said and I ran over and kissed her quickly before disappearing. There was no way I could watch her do that for an entire hour and contain myself. I took down a deer that crossed my path on my way home, and realizing how thirsty I was I went in search of a second. I was getting bored with the limited choices in cuisine here. My breakfast didn't taste nearly as delicious as Isabella's skin…

I got home and washed the dirt off of myself before getting changed into a pair of jeans and a white dress shirt and running back over to her house. She was still in the shower when I got there, and I picked my book up off of her coffee table and opened up to the page I had left off at. The books that were out yesterday afternoon were gone except for her novel from the Library.

It struck me once again how I was much more comfortable here with her in her house than in either of my own homes. It was very relaxing, sitting back on her large, familiar couch, reading and just enjoying the sound of her constant movement as she walked back and forth from her room to her bathroom.

I heard her eventually come out of her room and open up her fridge. I put my book back down and flashed across the room, much faster than she would have been able to see, sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen. She smiled happily at me at me as she poured a bowl of cereal and started cutting up a banana into it. She poured some milk into the bowl and put the container back into the fridge before sitting down next to me. I had strategically chosen to sit in the middle of the three chairs just for that reason. Her scent over-powered the strange smell of her food.

She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, and a very thin white blouse that was loosely buttoned over a black camisole, and her long hair was straight and loose, traveling all the way down to her lower back. I tried not to stare as she ate, instead watching the three small yellow and black birds that were hopping around on one of her bird feeders through her kitchen window. She finished eating quickly, and cleaned her bowl before drying it, putting it away and running back to her bathroom. I cringed when I heard her crash into something and swear quietly, before sighing dramatically and moving something around. She came out a minute later though with nothing but a bright smile on her face. "Ready," she said happily, and I automatically smiled back. It was just so hard not to when I looked at her.

I scanned the thoughts of her neighbors quickly while she went and opened her back door for me, and she patiently waited while I shot across her backyard in two quick strides, and watched her from the safety of the trees as she locked her back door. She stashed the key under a rock in her garden, and quickly crossed her back yard unseen to join me. For someone so clumsy, she could move very silently when she tried.

"Do you think I should put up a fence?" She asked me quietly while she walked over, knowing I'd have no problem hearing her. "I'd been thinking about it, more privacy, but I'm afraid that I won't get as many animals though. I love rabbits, they're so cute. But a nice wood fence would look pretty, and I could grow flowers up it too. What do you think?" I knelt down and she comfortably wrapped her arms and legs around me.

"I think it would look nice, and I'm sure the rabbits will find a way in somehow." She held on a little tighter as I started to run, ducking her head into my neck to avoid some of the wind.

"Have _you_ ever eaten a rabbit?" She asked curiously.

I laughed loudly before replying. "No, they're so small and smell horrible. Not very satisfying. There aren't many options besides deer around here."

"Hmm. Well if I do put up a wooden fence, I saw this really neat thing in a craft book where someone drilled scattered little holes and stuck different coloured marbles in them. When the sun would hit them it would have like a stained glass effect, and you'd get all these little spots of colours on them." I nodded along as she talked about different types of fences, thinking that it still baffled me how she could so casually talk about things like my diet when any normal human would probably be running away screaming. I'd known for a long time though that Isabella was nowhere near normal.

She seemed to be in a really great mood today, and a very chatty one at that too. I don't think I had ever heard her just talk so comfortably before, and I loved it. I would never get enough of hearing her voice. She was sitting up on my jacket in the grass, combing her fingers through my hair as I rested my head in her lap. It was almost numbingly peaceful, closing my eyes while listening to her voice, feeling the warm sun on my skin as her electric fingers danced across my scalp. I wanted to hear about the novel series she had recently gotten into, and she told me in detail about the intricate character structure and talked about dragons, dire wolves and magic, and agreed to lend me the first volume.

She seemed to have tired herself out, and after she had gone quiet for a moment I felt her lay out in the grass. I rolled over onto my side to look at her, resting my head against her stomach. She had her arms outstretched beside her, smiling up at the sun with her eyes closed. I sat up to see her better, and watched her for a moment before deciding to speak. This was probably better to do while she was in a good mood.

I laid down beside her, staying propped up on my elbow as I leaned over her. I kissed her gently, sliding my fingers into her hair, and felt her lips curve into a small smile against mine. When I pulled away she slowly opened her eyes to meet mine.

I took a deep, steadying breath. "Isabella, there's something I need to talk to you about."

She eyed me a little warily. "Okay..." she said cautiously.

"My family and I have been here for just over three years now. We usually start finalizing our plans to move on to a new place by now."

"Oh." I backed away as she sat up. She was brushing something off of her shorts while she continued to speak. "When are you leaving?"

A sharp pain shot through my chest where my heart had once beat. She didn't say _we_, she asked when _I_ was leaving. "Within the year at the latest," I said in a forced, calm voice. I couldn't even bring myself to look up at her, I was too afraid of crumbling apart.

After a long and painful moment of silence, she sighed loudly in frustration as she jumped to her feet, and my eyes shot up to her. She was glaring at me angrily, and I actually felt my body go cold. The last time I had seen her look that angrily, she almost shot me. No, she _had_ shot at me, she had just decided to not hit me with the bullet. "What, so that's it? Why the hell would you bring me all the way into the middle of _nowhere_ to break up with me? Do you have any idea how fucked up that is!"

"What do you mean 'break up with you'?" I asked in disbelief. She froze, her angry face turning confused. I was on my feet in a sixth of a second, and she followed my movement with her eyes in confusion.

"You… You said your family was leaving."

"Yeah, but we want your to come with us," I told her in an obvious voice, taking her face quickly in my hands. "We want you, _I_ want you to come with us. I would _never_ leave you Isabella, how could you think I would even try breaking up with you?"

"You want me to come?" She asked nervously. "You seriously want to take me with you?"

I kissed her fiercely, wrapping her in my arms. "Of course I do," I growled against her lips. Her hands gripped tightly onto my shirt between us, and I tightened my grip around her waist. I pulled my lips away slightly from hers, and her shimmering eyes met mine. "Please come with us Isabella. Please. I can't lose you."

She watched me for a moment, and gave me a gentle smile. "Okay." My eyes went wide, and after a moment of convincing myself that I hadn't misheard her I smiled excitedly.

"Really?" Her smile grew a little bit bigger as she nodded , and I kissed her again quickly. "_Thank you_," I said, pulling away from her mouth and kissing her jaw. She laughed as I pushed her back into the grass and breathed onto her ear. "_Thank you Isabella_." I smiled brightly as she tried to wriggle away from me, but I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and held her while I stared into her bright eyes. The glowing smile on her face filled me with joy. "You can't imagine how happy I am right now. I-" I sighed, not knowing what to say other than that I loved her. I loved her more than anything and everything in the world, but I wouldn't ruin this happy moment with something that I knew would obviously upset her.

But I _knew_ she loved me, even though she wasn't ready to say it. I understood too, better than she probably thought I did. She was still a mystery to me in a million ways, but I still _knew_ her. She had lost too many people she truly loved, and she was only trying to protect herself. I was okay with that, because I wasn't going anywhere. _She was coming with us._

So I just kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around me and I kissed her until she was dizzy in my arms. She rested her head against my neck while she held onto me, and I held her against me as I sat us up then laid down on my back. I could feel her hot breath against my skin and her heart beating strongly just over my still one. She laid there comfortably for a long time. I knew that she hadn't fallen asleep, but was just as comfortable as I was enjoying the closeness. It was one of the many things I loved about her; we didn't have to be talking to enjoy one another's company. We just enjoyed being around each other, it was that simple.

After a little while she propped herself up on her forearms against my chest while she smiled down at me. "So where are we going? And when? I need to sell my house and give my notice into work as early as possible to give her time to hire a replacement…"

I brushed her hair behind her ear and rested my hand lightly on the side of her waist again. "Out west to Sudbury, Ontario."

"Never heard of it. Have you been there before?"

"No, but it's one of the cloudier cities, lots of forests. Climate's not too different from here." She looked thoughtful for a moment, and I brushed my fingers lightly down the side of her face. "But that is very much up for discussion Isabella, if there's anywhere you want to go or don't want to-"

"No, it doesn't really matter to me. I just… I don't want to go too far west." Her voice was strained, and I saw her body tense a little. I knew what she meant, and I rubbed my hands up and down her back soothingly. She didn't want to go back to where she had lost so much.

"No, we won't. Of course we won't."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But-"

"You don't have to explain anything Isabella. We couldn't go back there for at least another eighty years even if we wanted to. You have nothing to worry about." She nodded, and laid her head down on my chest again. "We'll probably be leaving before the end of the year," I told her hesitantly. "We have lots of experience selling houses and moving things, and I guarantee you we won't have any problems helping you with that, but if that's too rushed for you that's-"

"It's not, that's okay. I only need a couple of weeks really. But if you can help me with selling the house that'd be great, I'd have no idea where to start. I usually have the lawyers deal with that stuff," she said quietly against my shoulder.

I laughed, thinking she was joking. "And how many houses have you sold off then?" I asked teasingly.

"Two. Charlie's and my parent's house."

I froze. _Shit._ "Isabella I'm sorry. I thought you were just- I didn't think. I-"

"Hey, calm down," she said easily, wrapping her arms around my neck. "It's okay Edward, I know you didn't mean anything by it. Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, holding her tightly and burying my face in her hair.

"It's okay."

I lied there hating myself for a while as she held me, until she let go and sat up. My mind was instantly cleared. She was still on top of me, straddling me, both of her hands on my stomach as I laid on my back looking up at her.

She sighed, then smiled at me as she ran her hand through her long hair, pushing it off of her face. "I'm hungry, can we head back?" She asked cheerily. I nodded once, but couldn't bring myself to move more than to slide my hands up her smooth legs on either side of me. Her smile grew, and she leaned forward, her hair cascading like water on either side of our faces as she kissed me and slowly slid her hands up my chest. My hands slid up to her waist, and I held her tightly as I moved to my feet in one fluid motion. She gasped in surprise from the quick change, but I held her up effortlessly and her arms wrapped around my neck.

I smiled against her lips before loosening my grip on her, and her legs automatically shot around me as she slipped an inch. I grinned when she pulled back to glare at me, and slowly slid my hands down her sides and on to her perfect bottom, supporting her weight in my hands again. She gave me a calculating look before kissing me quickly. She gripped onto my waist tightly with her thighs, and as she slid her arms over my shoulders she easily pulled herself up my body with her arms, tilting my head back with her leverage and sliding one of her soft hands up my throat.

A low growl rumbled through my chest, and was matched by a louder one from her stomach.

I felt the heat radiating from her face as I threw my head back, laughing loudly. I couldn't help myself though, it had just been too perfect. I apologized and kissed every inch of her face about six times before she forgave me, and then I took her home.

. . . . . . . . . .

I drove home with an almost giddy excitement that night. I had gotten to spend an entire, beautiful day with Isabella which put me in a good mood despite the fact that I wasn't spending the night with her as well.

I parked in the garage and everyone was waiting for me in the living room when I came in, Alice wearing a giant smile. I dropped down on the couch beside Esme, throwing my arm around her shoulders and grinning.

"Isabella's coming with us," I said proudly. Her eyes went huge as she stared at me in surprise before beaming at me and pulling me tightly into her arms. I winced under the strength of her hold. Carlisle rested a hand on my shoulder as he smiled at me over Esme.

She was beyond words but I heard everything in her mind, in everyone's minds. Carlisle and Esme were overjoyed and so relieved, just like everyone else. Alice was thinking about a memory from almost two years ago.

"_I think she's going to stay. I can't be certain, but I think she might."_

"_Is that really a good idea?" _Because I knew we would have to leave eventually.

"_Don't be such a downer Edward. Everything will work out." _She had told me surely, even though she couldn't see it.

She smiled, knowing that I had seen that. "You were right, as always," I told her indulgently. I expertly transferred Esme over to Carlisle's arms, and he laughed as he took his emotional wife. "She's being really… relaxed about the whole situation too. We'll have no problems leaving before the end of the year."

"Oh! She'll get a great offer on her house at the beginning of October," Alice said, still in her vision about a retiring couple that would fall in love with it. It was the only time she could actually see Isabella in her visions anymore, if it was through the future of another person and didn't have to do with any of her decisions.

"Maybe we should buy it. She put so much hard work into that beautiful little house," Esme said worriedly.

"No, I really think she's going to be fine letting it go," Alice said thoughtfully. "I know she really likes her house, but she's really not that attached to it emotionally. It was just one of her many crafts to kill time really."

I nodded in agreement. Yes, she was more comfortable there than anywhere else, but I think it was more just because of the quiet. She lived like a guest in her own home.

We spent the entire night making our travel plans together until Carlisle had to leave for work. Alice said Carlisle would be able to get a job easily at one of the hospitals there, and I could have too if I wanted to. But I quickly decided that I didn't want to be working full time again. I was going to look into some college courses to take, and my siblings would be starting off in high school for two years before joining me.

Alice didn't see any trouble in me pretending to be Carlisle's nephew this time, and Jasper made his lists for his order of new documents to be made. It brightened my mood even more; even though Masen was my original family name I just felt so much more comfortable being a Cullen. I hoped Isabella wouldn't mind the change. Alice asked him to wait before putting in the order though, wanting to check if Isabella wanted anything done too.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was a long day while I waited for her to get off of work. I spent most of the morning in front of the computer with Esme, doing more research on the area with her so that I could hopefully answer any questions Isabella might have for me. I stopped in at work on my way over to her place, giving in my notice as Carlisle had, and was more than happy to hand over my shift to one of my colleges that needed the hours. I was practically vibrating with excitement as I made my way from the hospital over to Isabella's house.

I walked inside, and saw her in her kitchen hovering over a cutting board. Her shoulders tensed when I walked in, and she didn't turn around to look at me as she spoke. "Hey Edward."

I immediately started to panic as I walked over to her island and sat down on one of the stools. She's changed her mind. I knew it, it was so foolish to get so excited about it. "Hey, how was your day?"

She took a little longer than usual to reply. "It was fine, how about yours?"

Her voice was calm, but I could hear the faintest bit of worry in her tone. I continued to watch her back carefully, waiting for her to turn around and tell me to leave. "It was good. I spent the day with Esme doing some research while she looked at houses online."

"Were they okay with it? Me coming along with you guys?"

My eyes went wide. She hadn't changed her mind? For some reason I started to worry even more. "They were ecstatic Isabella. Everyone had been worried that you might not come along, they're all very relieved."

I saw her relax slightly, and noticed that she was strategically walking to her fridge at an angle that blocked her face from mine. I flashed to her side in a second, but she flinched away from me before I could put a hand on her shoulder.

"Isabella, what's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"Nothing."

"It's obviously something, why aren't you looking at me?"

She sighed, putting down the knife and pepper she had been holding while looking down. "I really am okay Edward, please don't freak out." I moved to her side again, and this time she didn't run away as I stood behind her and placed my hands gently on her waist.

"Please just tell me," I said, not willing to make any promises to her that I wasn't sure I could keep. She let out a large breath, then turned in my arms. "Shit!" I said, holding her a little closer and tilting her chin up with a gentle finger. She closed her eyes as I inspected the bruise that was slowly starting to cover the entire right side of her face. "What happened?" I whispered, trying to control the urge I had to scream in anger.

"I fell off of a ladder at work this morning," she said quietly. "Someone backed into it and… It wasn't very high though, really, I'm fine."

"Did you go to the hospital?" I already knew the answer before she shook her head. "What if you have a concussion? Or broke a bone or-"

"Edward, I have done both of those things multiple times, and I'm sure that I'm fine," she said in a gentle voice. "Really. It just looks bad."

She let me inspect her anyways, and after I was sure that she really was okay, I let her get back to cooking her dinner and just watched her carefully. She fell off of a ladder, and none of us had even known. There was nothing that any of us could have done to prevent it from happening. She could have broken her neck, and then her delicate existence would have just been over.

I sat with her in her living room while she ate, and after she finished and cleaned up she came and sat beside me again, but didn't touch me. I was trying not to stare at her face, because it made me very much want to hunt down the random man that had caused her to fall and destroy him. I saw her wrap her arms around herself out of the corner of my eye.

"It's really ugly, isn't it?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and I looked at her in shock. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to stay here if you don't want to, it's okay."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her in disbelief.

"The bruise… I know it looks really ugly. You won't even look at me. I just want you to know that I won't mind if you don't want to see me for a while."

I pulled her into my lap quickly, and kissed her very softly so I wouldn't hurt her. "No Isabella, it's not ugly. You are still the most beautiful woman in the world to me, even if half of your face is purple." I said gently. I saw her eyes start to water, but she squeezed them tightly and not a single tear escaped. Very gently, like I was trying to caress a bubble of soap without popping it, I cupped the side of her face in my hand. She leaned into my cool skin, relaxing slightly. "It's just a painful thing to think about. You're just so strong that sometimes I forget just how fragile you really are. It scares me."

She opened her eyes, and watched me sadly for a long, quiet moment. She leaned in slowly, placing both of her small hands on my neck as she kissed me. My arms wrapped around her gently as her body leaned against mine. After a moment her lips pulled away from mine carefully, and she rested her cheek against mine. "I'm sorry," she whispered painfully.

"It's okay, I understand," I whispered back, and her arms went around my neck as I held her tightly. I had witnessed this feeling through the minds of others of my kind, but never personally. This was the first time in my existence I had ever wanted to cry, because I did understand. She was sorry that she was hurting me, because I know that she did love me, but she just couldn't choose to end her life, to be like me. She was suffering because I was hurting, but what I wanted her to do was impossible for her and I knew it was a horrible and selfish thing to desire. She let me hold her like that for a long time, holding me back and combing her fingers slowly through the back of my hair, never once trying to pull away.

"My boss was there when it happened," she said quietly an hour and a half later. "It took a while to convince her that I really was okay, I was only a couple of feet up. She was going to make me take some time off, and it turns out that she has a friend that recently moved to the area and is looking for work. She was going to get her to help out until I was feeling better, but I told her that I was going to be moving soon so… yeah. That's taken care of. I'm officially unemployed," she said cheerily. I loosened my tight grip on her so I could pull away to see her face. She was smiling happily, and I felt my face automatically start to mirror hers. "Since it's half past eight I'm assuming you're not working tonight?" Her smile turned gentle as she smoothed her hand down my face softly. "Would you like to go for a bike ride or something?"

She was trying to cheer me up, I realized. Her worry was plain in her eyes, and I chastised myself for putting that look there. I smiled at her and shifted her so that she was in a more comfortable position on my lap. "That's okay, it's supposed to rain soon. You're right though, I do have the night off," I said happily. She seemed to relax slightly when I smiled, but she was still watching me carefully. "A co-worker needed the extra hours so I gave him my shift."

"That was very sweet of you," she said with a knowing smile. She knew that I had ulterior motives and I grinned, unashamed. I would never hide the fact that there was nowhere else I wanted to be more than next to her.

"I also gave my notice in, so did Carlisle today. Alice says she saw them hiring replacements for us in about a month."

"Did she see anyone wanting to buy my house?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, the best offer will come in October from a couple who's looking to retire. I won't tell you how much, I'll let you keep that as a surprise," I said teasingly. She didn't seem to mind though, she just looked relieved. "That can't honestly surprise you?" I asked disbelievingly. "Your house is amazing, it looks like it should be in a magazine. You should consider landscaping or interior design as a career."

She beamed happily at me, and I couldn't resist leaning in to kiss that beautiful face. "Thank you," she said proudly. "I think doing it as a job would take all the fun out of it though." I grinned, there was something in her voice that told me that she didn't completely believe her own words. She cuddled into me a bit more and rested her bruised cheek on my shoulder. I knew what she would say if I asked her if it was bothering her, and guessed that this was probably the closest thing to putting ice on it I would be able to get her to do, so I didn't say anything and just held her there. "Are there any schools in the town that we're going to?"

"There are a few, actually. Have you been thinking about going back at all?"

"A little bit," she hedged, but tried to change the subject quickly. "Are you and Carlisle going to have any trouble finding work?"

"Nope, Alice told us that he'd get a job pretty quickly. I've been looking into courses at Laurentian University though. I think I'm going to take a break from work for a while." She was silent for a moment, and I wished that I could see her face.

"What about the others?"

"The four of them will be doing high school again," I said, not envying them in the slightest. "Esme will probably be rebuilding whatever house she gets us."

She sat up straight in in my lap. "I need to buy a new house! Damn it, I was too busy thinking about selling this one to realize," she said with an embarrassed smile.

"You know you could always stay with us. We always have more room than we really need." I was only half planning on living with the others. I knew that I didn't want my own house again, but I planned on spending the majority of my time where ever she was.

"Thanks, but… I think that would just be too hard, living in a house with seven other people." I had been expecting that, but I also knew that she was comfortable around me though. I wanted to get a house for her, for us, but I was too afraid to scare her off by asking her to move in with me. We had really only been "dating" for eight months… was that too soon? I didn't know, but I had plenty of time to convince her. I wouldn't rush it.

"That's okay. Esme's planning a house hunting trip next week, if you want we could go with her." I said it as casually as I could. There was no way I could go an entire week without seeing her.

"That would be fun," she said happily. "Are you sure you won't have any problems getting the time off work?"

I sighed in relief before smiling. "I'm sure. She's leaving on Saturday and coming back next Thursday. I'll call her so she can get us both tickets," I said, holding her while I shifted to pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Tickets?" Her voice caught slightly, coming out as more of a squeak.

"Yeah, plane tickets," I said, scrolling through my contacts. I felt her body go ridged in my arms. "Isabella?" I carefully pulled her back so that I could see her face. She was wearing her cool mask, but she couldn't hide how much her face had paled… the half that wasn't blue and purple, anyways. I gently tilted up her chin so that she would look me in the eyes. "Isabella, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and looked off to the side as she spoke. "I've never been on a plane before," she whispered.

"Oh," I said, and gave her a gentle smile. "It's really not a big deal, I've been on them tons of time. Its-"

"Okay, let me rephrase this. I've never been on a plane before because the idea of being in a two-hundred thousand pound piece of flying metal filled with other people traveling over five-hundred miles an hour thirty-five thousands feet in the air scares the hell out of me," she said quickly in a panicked voice, begging me with her eyes not to try and make her do it. Even her heart rate had shot up.

I kissed her softly, and felt her relax against my lips. I took her words very seriously, I don't think I had ever heard her say that she was actually _scared_ of something before. "How about we leave Thursday and drive down? We can meet Esme when she gets there."

She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Hey, I would much rather spend two days in a car with you alone than seven hours with you in a crowded plane," I told her honestly, making her laugh. "Just for our cover's sake though, I should probably tell you now that I'm going to be Carlisle's nephew in this next place, not Esme's brother."

"So, Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah. Is that weird?"

"No," she said pulling back so that she could smile at me. "I like it." She gave me a quick kiss, then got up and ran over to her bathroom. I relaxed back against her couch, and when she came back she sat beside me, throwing her legs over my lap and tucking herself under my arm. "So, do I need a cover story too or anything?"

"Not unless you want one," I told her with a smile. She seemed a little relieved, relaxing with her face resting against my cool arm.

She started to drift off against me at around eleven later that night.

"Mmm, sorry," she said, yawning and sitting up as she rubbed at her eyes after I shifted her slightly.

"No, it's okay. I should go and let you get some rest," I said, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. Before I could stand up though she wrapped her arms around my neck, looking up at me curiously.

"Do you want to?"

"What?"

"You said that you _should_ go, but do you _want _to?" She continued to watch my face carefully, and I found it hard to think while her intense eyes inspected me so closely.

"No," I told her honestly.

She leaned forward and kissed me, a soft smile playing with the corners of her lips. "You can stay if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"It's not like I have work in the morning," she said lightly with a smile, but then her face turned a little more serious. "Besides… I like having you here. I still don't know how you're not bored, but if you want to you're welcome to stay."

"I want to stay," I told her immediately, and she smiled. After disentangling herself from me she got up and went into her room to get changed. I turned off her television and then the lights and went to lie down in her bed, trying not smile _too_ brightly. She came back out of her bathroom wearing a pair of baggy pyjama pants and a tank top, sliding underneath her blanket. She looked over at me a little shyly, and I lifted my arm for her to come closer. I heard her sigh as she placed her bruised face against my chest and wrapped an arm around me.

. . . . . . . . . .

Her face was worse the next day, and she was close to tears when she came out from her shower. She let me hide in her house with her for the entire day though, and I did my best to keep her smiling and away from mirrors. It was a lovely day for me, relaxing on her couch with her curled up in my arms, watching movies all day. I hated leaving her alone to go to work, but she insisted that she didn't want any of the others to see her right now.

I went to work and then straight back to her house once I was done. She was out in her garage, legs sticking out from under her truck. She slid out on her dolly when I walked in, smiling at me with a big streak of grease across her forehead. She was wearing a small pair of denim shorts that were splattered with old paint and oil, and an old black t-shirt with a brown design of a guitar down the front. Looking down at her holding that wrench, hair messily piled up on top of her head... it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, and wondered if it would be weird if I asked her to change the oil on my car for me... "Hey," she said happily.

I leaned down and kissed her a little firmly, my right hand resting on the curve of her hip. "Hey babe," I whispered against her lips. I felt her freeze underneath me, almost flinching, and pulled away as she slid back under her truck.

"Please don't call me that," she said in a soft voice, and I heard her moving her wrench again. I hadn't really meant to, it just sort of slipped out, but I was curious about her reaction.

"Not a big fan of pet names?" I asked, keeping my tone light.

"I just don't like it," she said quietly. I slid her back out from the truck and she sighed. She was trying hard not to meet my gaze.

"Is this because of him?" I asked gently.

"Does it matter?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… you never talk about him."

She got up, and I watched her as she went and set her wrench down on her bench, wiping her hands off on a cloth. She didn't look mad, more like resigned. "I didn't think it was something you'd want to hear about, and I don't want to upset you," she explained quietly, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms, almost protectively in front of her as she looked at me.

"I want to know all of you Isabella," I told her, appearing in front of her again and resting my hands on her hips. I was relieved when she didn't pull away from me. "And he's a big part of you." She watched me intently, and sadly. It had only been a couple of years since he had died, and I knew that it was still very painful for her to think about. Despite how long she had been in my life though, and how well I had gotten to know her, I felt like there was this whole life, this giant part of her that was still a giant mystery to me. She looked down at her shoes.

"What do you want to know?"

I watched her for a moment, then picked her up and set her on her high work bench. I titled up her chin up so that she would look at me. "Are you sure? I don't want to make you upset." Yes I wanted to know, but I wanted her to be happy more than that.

"It's okay," she said. She tried to smile, but couldn't really do it.

"How did you meet him?" She did smile then, even though it was a sad one.

"Our Dads were best friends. I met him when I went over to Billy's place with Charlie to watch a football game, two weeks after I moved to Forks."

"And you two just... hit it off right away?" I wasn't sure how to properly word the question I wanted to know; why did she fall in love with him? She laughed.

"No, not at all." She smiled, and I could tell that she had gone somewhere else in her mind. I refused to let myself get upset over of any of this. She was with me now, and she was only telling me because I'd asked.

"Then how?"

She thought about her answer for a long moment while she looked at me uncomfortably. "Well, for me to really explain… first, you have to know that when I went to Forks I was a very different person than who I am now. When I was sent to live with Charlie I was absolutely dreading it. He was my third foster home, and I hadn't had very high expectations for it. I was just trying to survive until my eighteenth birthday so I could go off on my own." I had known about the other two homes, but had no idea what had happened. I did know what happened with her father though, and I still wasn't going to tell her that I did a background check on her.

"What happened with your first two?"

Now she _really_ looked uncomfortable. I was really surprised that I had made it this far though, she never talked about her past before coming here other than her mother, and the tiniest little rare detail every once in a while. "Do you think we could go inside? I'd really like to get cleaned up." She wiped a slightly shaky arm across her face, smearing the oil that had been on her forehead across more of her face. I gave her a small smile.

"Sure." I lifted her off the table and set her on the ground, following her through the rain to her house. I went and waited patiently on the couch, flipping the television on, keeping the volume low while I waited. She ended up taking a shower, and came and sat with me a half an hour later wearing my favourite pair of lavender silk shorts and an over-sized black t-shirt. Her hair was wet and hanging loosely over her shoulders. She looked much more relaxed, and I automatically slid closer to her when she sat down on the couch.

"Thanks," she said, relaxing against me. I ducked down and kissed her, and after a few seconds her hands slid over my shoulders as she leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her into my lap, and felt her relax completely in my arms. I pulled away gently so that she would remember to breathe, and rested my forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. We just sat there quietly for a couple minutes.

"You wanted to know about my other foster parents?" I nodded. "Well, I was in the hospital for two months after I fell down the stairs, and when I was released I was sent to live in this sort of boarding house, an orphanage for older girls. I was there for two months before I went to my first home. That was with Rita and Carl. They were okay, but Rita found out that she was pregnant and they sent me back after about two months. Then I was at the home for three more months before they sent me to live with George and Tara." She paused for a moment, and I saw her take a shaky breath before concentrating on one of the red pillows on her couch with an angry expression. "They weren't very nice people. I was grateful that they had opened their home to me, but they were always very cold to me right from the start. It was a roof over my head though, and they didn't hit me, so I didn't complain. They had two young daughters that I shared a room with, but they had gotten me hoping for a live-in housekeeper pretty much. I wasn't allowed to go out until I got a job, and definitely couldn't bring a friend over, not that I really had any. I cleaned and cooked for them and baby-sat their kids. And…" She sighed, relaxing slightly. "Eventually we had a fight, and I had to leave." There was something there, something that she was hiding. She obviously didn't want to talk about it though, and continued speaking again quickly. "So I went back to the home for a couple months, and really I would have just rather spent my time there sharing that room with six or seven other girls. But they sent me to stay with Charlie. He was so completely different than any man I'd ever met. He was always nothing but friendly to me, gave me my own room, my own key to his house, he even bought me my truck to try and make me happy. And I was, he was more of a father to me than my real one ever was. He just got me really well, we were really alike in a lot of ways, not really into the whole talking about your feelings thing or really touchy. I _hated_ being touched. He was really patient with me though. He even installed a lock on my door so that no one would be able to come in at night. It was a really big deal for me, my relationship with Charlie was the closest bond I had had with someone since my mother. I just wasn't into the whole social scene, you know? Books can stay a constant, they don't change, they can be hidden, moved, trusted... People can't. Charlie was easy to love though.

"And then he introduced me to Jacob. The first time I'd met him I thought he was just… _weird_. When I tried to introduce myself, he dropped this giant plate of sandwiches he had been carrying and just stared at me like an idiot. He was _always_ starting at me, and I didn't find out for another four months that he had imprinted on me." She was smiling at the memory again, but barely paused as she went on. "So, I wasn't very fond of him at first, but he was persistent, and our parents were best friends so we saw each other pretty often. He was impossible not to like, just like Charlie. Jacob helped me heal and move on from my past. He was my best friend, and he made me a stronger person. I fell for him, and he just made my life feel like it finally had meaning. With him and Charlie, I had finally found a family." I had been looking down while she had been talking, lost in her words, and only looked up when I heard that her voice had begun to shake. Tears were streaming out of her eyes. "Jacob had been more than someone I loved. When I had found him, it was like I had found the other half of my soul, because I hadn't been whole until then. It didn't matter how different we were from each other, because no matter what we were always happier when we were together." She closed her eyes tightly, and tried to stand up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-"

I pulled her back to me, kissing her quickly. The tears continued to stream down her face, but she held onto me fiercely as she kissed me back. "I'm sorry Isabella, I'm sorry about everything. Thank you for sharing this with me," I told her, and kissed her again. When I finally released her lips, she rested her head against my shoulder and just let me hold her until she stopped crying.

This was more than she had ever told anyone in our family about her past. As I held her quietly, the rest of her story played out through in my mind. The picture on the shelf beside her television; She was smiling brightly in the arms of Jacob Black, surrounded by the wolf shifters of the Quileute tribe and their imprints. It had taken me years to see a smile even close to the one she wore there, and it was obvious that the giant man holding her was beyond proud, _happy_. I have never seen her look that carefree and happy besides in her sleep. She had been accepted into the tribe and had finally found a home and family. He had asked her to marry him, she had gotten pregnant, and then she had been found by the Volturi. They tried to take her, killed the first real father she had ever had in front of her eyes, and then Jacob too was killed.

I knew that she thought that she was cursed, and she fled out of sadness and fear of hurting the rest of them. Then there was the accident, the loss of her child and I had met her once again. And I had thought I had been cursed as well, but it turned out I had only been futilely running away from the reason for my existence. I couldn't imagine how hard this must have been for her to tell me, and held her a little more tightly. I was moved that she had finally felt comfortable enough with me to tell me. It meant so much to me, and I felt like I knew her, understood her a little bit more. Eventually her head shifted against me, and I turned up the volume on the television a little bit so she could hear it better before pulling the throw off of the back of the couch and draping it over her. She had goose bumps on her arms, yet looked very comfortable.

She called and ordered a pizza for dinner later, and I sat with her until I had to leave for work. "So I'll come pick you up at nine tomorrow morning," I said, kissing her again.

"I'll be packed and waiting," she said cheerfully, leaning against her door frame. I walked over to my car, and gave her one last look before being able to make myself pull out of her driveway.

_Only twelve hours, and then I'll have her for an entire week_, I told myself with a smile.

**Thanks for Reading! **


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two: Stay

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-Two :: Stay**

**Isabella**

I woke up bright and early, and went to do my yoga out on my back porch to enjoy some of the fresh air. The weather was starting to cool off now, and even in my sweatpants and a long shirt I was still feeling pretty chilly. Once I was done I rolled up my mat and leaned it against the wall by my front door then hopped into the shower. I tried not to look at myself too much as I combed my hair in front of the mirror. The bruise didn't even hurt anymore, but it looked like it did. I knew from the last time I had tried covering a bruise on my face with some of Alice's make up that it just wasn't worth the reaction to my skin. The fact that I had barely slept didn't help my appearance either.

I spent well over an hour blow-drying my hair before running over to my dresser and putting on the clothes I had picked out last night, sitting right on top of my packed suitcase. After pulling on my jeans and a very nice silvery silk shirt that I was going to be much too cold in, I ate a bowl of cereal, brushed my teeth, threw my toiletries in my suitcase and put on my black leather jacket and some flats before going out and waiting for Edward on my front porch.

He had barely left my side the past few days, and I liked it. Besides going to work he was always here, he practically lived here, just without his things. I felt a little bad about stealing so much of his time from his family, but I couldn't bring myself to face them looking like this. Their sympathy and concern would have been too much for me.

Edward pulled into my drive five minutes early, and I jumped to my feet as he opened his car door. He moved much faster than I could see, and was standing right in front of me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me in less than a second. I wrapped my arms around him happily.

I really shouldn't have missed him so much, he was only gone for thirteen hours and I had slept or been busy most of the time. But I did. I missed him whenever he wasn't with me, and I chastised myself for being so clingy. I could be standing in a room filled with hundreds of people talking to me, but if he wasn't there I'd feel lonely. Ridiculous.

He loosened his hold on me, leaning back and smiling. "Good morning," he said with my favourite crooked smile.

I smiled happily at him. "Hey." He gave me one more quick kiss before grabbing my things and loading them into his trunk. "Can I drive?" I asked excitedly, and he chuckled before dropping the keys into my hand and opening my door for me. I hopped in, adjusted his chair and mirrors before starting her up and smiling in excitement.

Edward leaned over me though, pressing his lips gently against mine as his hand slid over my throat. I melted into my chair under his touch, and felt the back of his hand lightly brush over my breast before I head an audible click.

"Seat belt," he whispered teasingly, kissing me once more and leaning back in his own chair. I shot him one suspicious look before pulling out of my driveway. I'd get him back for that later.

It was a pretty nice day for driving, even though it wasn't sunny it was still fairly bright out, a thin ceiling of clouds stretching as far as I could see. Edward had brought a giant case of CDs with him, and I spent most of the drive listening to all sorts of beautiful music that I hadn't heard before while he told me where to drive.

We stopped for a late lunch, and ate in this little diner that we had found in the middle of nowhere it seemed, to take a bit of a break from the car. Instead of sitting in the bench across from me in the booth, Edward slid right up next to me. It made it a little more difficult to eat when his hand was constantly trailing over my back or combing through my hair. But I demolished my chicken burger and the plate of fries quickly none the less. Edward drove the rest of the way because my eyes were feeling pretty tired, and I relaxed, watching the trees fly by as we drove and the sky gradually darkened.

We stopped at a hotel at about ten, and I sat down in the lobby while Edward went to check in. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the woman behind the desk practically drooled over him. I knew Edward wasn't interested, and I really should have been used to this by now, but as she leaned over the desk while he filled out a form, giving him an easy view of her chest, and her hand came out and trailed over his arm, I had had more than enough. I dropped my coat on top of my suitcase, and walked over to them purposely.

"Any problems Edward?" I said, ducking under his shoulder and wrapping my arms around him. He automatically smiled at me, seeming to forget what he was doing and dropping the pen as his hands slid up my back.

"Not at all, just filling out the usual forms," he said, leaning in to kiss me. When I pulled away so that he could continue writing, I found the woman glaring at me. I shot her a look right back, and she quickly shied away from my gaze. I felt Edward chuckle slightly, and looked up to find him watching me with an amused, proud smile. I smiled sweetly back at him, and he laughed loudly before kissing me again and handing back the paperwork to the clerk. She gave us our key, and I followed him closely as he carried our bags up to our room.

I was oddly tired for sitting in a car and not really doing anything all day. As soon as Edward put my bag down I opened it up, grabbing a very nice nightgown that I had just gotten the other day. Even though my shopping trips had become less frequent, Alice still enjoyed sitting with me in front of her lap top and shopping online. I liked it too, because she was able to automatically know what clothes would fit me nicely. After brushing my teeth and combing my hair, I slipped on the white gown with black lace trim, and went back out to the room.

Edward was lying in the bed, reading the book I had lent him yesterday. He looked up at my approach, and I smiled as his eyes went big when he saw me. "Is this new?" he asked, and I could tell that he was having a hard time keeping his voice casual.

"Mhmm. Do you like it?" I asked, spinning in a circle to give him a full view. His arms were around me before I made the full circle. He was standing in front of me now, and I felt my heart speed up as he slowly slid his hands over the silky fabric, down my ribs, over my waist and stopping at my hips before pulling me against him.

"I _really_ like it," he practically growled into my ear, and I smiled happily. His lips kissed me just below my ear, and his mouth continued to travel lower as he backed me onto the bed. When the back of my knees hit the mattress, I fell backwards onto it. He was on top of me in the same moment, his hands sliding down my arms, pinning my hands out beside me as his mouth traveled over my collar bone. My head was spinning and I couldn't think as his lips moved over the curve of my breast.

Then his phone vibrated. He groaned loudly, resting his head against my chest for a moment before he stood up and answered. He had told me about their family rule; everyone _always_ answers their cell phones, unless they're hunting.

"What do you want Emmett?" He said in an aggravated voice, then his face paled. "Sorry Esme, I thought it was- No, I don't usually- yes, I know. Sorry Mom," I smiled, listening as he was being chastised over the phone. I tried to hide my yawn, and he gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'll take this outside," he whispered with an apologetic smile. I nodded, and as he left I curled up under the comfortable blanket and melted into the fluffiness of my pillow. I was too lazy to get up and turn off his bright lamp, and rolled away from it onto my side while I waited.

I had started to drift off, but I felt when he came back in and stopped close to the bed behind me. He hesitated, and I forced myself to open my eyes and look over at him. He seemed a little nervous about crawling into the hotel bed next to me, but when I smiled he seemed to relax, and leaned in to kiss me gently before turning off the light. He slid one arm underneath my pillow, and wrapped his other one around my waist. When I leaned my back against his chest, shuffling a tiny bit to be closer to him, his grip on me tightened and I drifted off comfortably in his arms, feeling his cool breath against my neck.

. . . . . . . . . .

I awoke in the exact same position, his arm still holding me tightly against him. I was smiling before I could even open my eyes. I felt his cool lips against the back of my neck, and slid my hand over his strong arm as I stretched against him slightly. His lips moved over my shoulder, a gentle finger slowly sliding the thin strap of my night gown down my arm.

It was an amazing way to wake up, but my desire was over powered by my bladder. He let me stop his hand as it slowly traveled over my hip under the blanket, and kissed me once more just below my ear on the corner of my jaw before letting me go. He smiled at me easily as I flipped over the blanket and slid out of bed, then comfortably took his book off of the nightstand once more as he lay on his back, folding one arm underneath his head.

"Take your time, we have the room until noon, and I'm sure we don't have more than eight hours left to drive."

I smiled at him, and ran over to the washroom. Once I was relieved, I went back out and dug through my suitcase, pulling out some more appropriates clothes to do my yoga and taking out some clean clothes and my shower bag. I got changed in the washroom, then went back out and rolled out my mat. I was so stiff from sitting in a car all day yesterday, and after my hour and a nice long shower I felt like a completely new person. I pulled on a pair of nice black tights, they were a little thicker than usual, feeling more like stretchy pants, and had a line of silver buttons going half the way up the outside of each calf. I thought they were the cutest thing when I found them with Alice, and they were super comfy. I had this long, deep violet shirt that went almost half way down my thighs, with a really loose neck and really long sleeves, and after drying my hair so that it fell down in loose waves around me I put on my necklace and packed up all my things.

I looked at the clock and it was almost ten. Edward was just where I had left him when I had gotten up, but he was wearing different clothes and had made the bed. I chastised myself, he hadn't even used the blankets, I should have done that myself as soon as I had woken up.

He closed his book, and I was jealous of his ability to so easily remember where he left off reading without a book mark. I had a really great memory, but I had at least a dozen books on the go right now and there was no way I would be able to remember even one of their page numbers. My books on the shelves in my little library were peppered with different coloured post-its sticking out of them, and although I liked the pretty splashes of colours I hated how messy it looked. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, suddenly sitting on the edge of the bed while his book was on the nightstand of the other side of the bed.

"Sorry, I should have made the bed when I woke up," I said apologetically. If he was paying for the hotels I should at least be cleaning up after myself.

He raised an eyebrow at me curiously, and reached out his arms to pull me toward him. I was standing between his legs as he sat on the bed, his hands resting on my hips. It bothered me a little that we were almost the same height when he was sitting down. "You're apologizing because I made the bed?" He asked in an odd tone, watching me curiously. I wasn't sure if he was making fun of me, so I just looked back at him quietly. "You know that it took literally only two seconds to fix it right?" I gave him a little shrug and he pulled me even closer, his arms wrapping around my waist completely as he held me against his chest. He looked at me for a long moment, and he seemed to be having trouble finding something to say. "Isabella, I don't want you to feel guilty about little things like this, or anything really. I like doing things to help you, it makes me happy, but I hate that they make you sad." I nodded, not really knowing what to say when the only word I could think of saying was sorry. His grip loosened on me, but he never let me go as his hands slid down the back of my ribs and held onto my waist. He gave me and appreciative smile as he looked from my black leather ankle boots all the way to the top of my hair, making my pulse race a little bit more quickly. "Besides, that's what room service is for. I only straightened it out so that I would have more fun messing it up myself." I gasped when I was suddenly falling on to my back, my head against the fluffy pillows as Edward hovered over me. My face flushed when I saw the amused but almost hungry look in his face, only inches away from mine. "You look absolutely stunning," he whispered into my ear in a thick voice, his cold breath making me shiver. I slid my hands up his strong arms as I felt his nose gently caress the length of my neck while he inhaled deeply. His cheek gently brushed against mine before I felt his smooth lips on mine. My hands slid up to his neck, pulling myself into the kiss when I felt the burning electricity course though me and fill my body. I quickly became dizzy when I once again forgot to breathe, and his lips traveled along my jaw as I felt one of his large hands slide down my stomach. He went over my hip before ducking underneath my shirt and wrapping his arm around my bare waist. He leaned his body into mine, and when I gripped onto him with my thighs his hand slid up my back, supporting my shoulders as he sat up on his knees.

His other hand slid under my shirt as I settled against his lap, and he firmly held onto my waist as he left a trail of burning kisses down my throat, making me tilt my head back as I leaned my body into his. He leaned me back, supporting me with his hands on my shoulder blades as his lips danced over my collar bone and down the low neck of my shirt.

My stomach grumbled slightly as he pulled me close to him again, kissing me fiercely on the lips. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, but let go of him when his hold loosened. "They have a free breakfast buffet downstairs, it's open for another twenty minutes," he said with a smile. I beamed back, and kissed him again quickly before hopping off of his lap. After taking one last look around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, I folded my coat over my arm and opened the door for Edward while he carried out our bags.

I loaded up a plate of blueberry pancakes and strawberries, covering it in syrup while Edward took our bags out to the car. There was only one other table that was occupied in the room, a group of four men that were about my age, maybe a couple years older. I sat down on the complete opposite side of the room from them, and excitedly started to dig into my breakfast.

I was facing away from them, but I felt and heard them when they moved over to the table next to mine and rolled my eyes. One of them walked up beside me, and when I looked up at him he was giving me a bright smile. "Hey, mind if I borrow your newspaper?" He asked, pointing to the paper that someone had left in the chair next to mine.

"Not at all," I said politely. He picked it up, but didn't turn to leave.

"So, are you just passing through the area, or are you here visiting?" He asked politely, and I fought not to glare at him as he distracted me from the delicious pile of sugar on my plate.

"Just passing through with my boyfriend," I said purposely, and looked up and smiled at Edward when I felt him walk back in. "Hey," I said, purposely ignoring the guy who walked back to his seat without another word. I saw Edward giving him a dark look as he pulled a chair up next to me though, and quickly went back to eating my breakfast.

"Sorry I took so long, the parking lot was crowded and I had to walk slowly," he said, leaning in and kissing my hair as he rested a hand on my knee. "They give you any trouble?" He asked darkly.

"No, they were harmless. Just annoying," I said dismissively, and finished my breakfast quickly. I got up and slipped on my coat, and went and put my tray away before sliding my arm through Edward's and walking outside.

It was another beautiful drive, mostly through these dense forests that made me feel like we were in the middle of nowhere the majority of the time. We made really good time though, Edward keeping an eye out for speed traps while I sped down the highway for the first four hours. After we stopped to gas up he took over driving again, and I dug through his giant book of CDs, picking out ones with interesting names and labels. We made it to our hotel in Sudbury at about seven, stopping first so that I could pick up some food for dinner to bring back to the hotel. It was a gorgeous room, and must have cost a fortune. We were on the top floor, and we had a large balcony that looked over the city and this very large lake, a huge bedroom with a king size bed, bathroom with a large Jacuzzi and a separate shower, a full sized living room with a large white sectional couch and a small kitchen. After I ate I washed up and got changed into some comfortable shorts and a pretty white camisole before curling up next to him on the couch while he watched TV. He pulled me into his lap as soon as I sat down next to him.

"So when does Esme's flight get in?"

"Not until about seven. It's going to be sunny out tomorrow so she had to plan for a later flight," he said apologetically. "So you can of course go out if you want to explore on your own during the day, but I'm going to have to stay in here."

I gave him a reassuring smile, and he seemed to relax as I wound my arms around his neck. "That's okay, I want to wait so I can look around with you." He smiled happily at me, and I gave him a quick kiss. "Although there is a grocery store across the street, I'll probably run over to grab some food in the afternoon. They have breakfast here right?"

"Yup, there's a big dining room just outside the lobby, and they serve from seven until ten. So we can plan to leave at six thirty to head to the airport?"

"Sounds good," I said, leaning in and kissing him again. The room was a little cold, and I felt myself shiver slightly as I leaned against him to watch the movie that was playing. I worried for a moment that he was going to let me go, but he just leaned over and pulled over a blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch. He wrapped it around me tightly before wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. Smiling, I leaned my head against him comfortably again, and he held onto me a little more tightly.

. . . . . . . . . .

I groaned, throwing the thick blanket off of me and flipping over my pillow. It was so hot in here that I was starting to sweat. I sighed happily when I felt cold fingers sweep my hair off my back, and lightly trail down the back of my neck.

"Good morning," he whispered, his quiet voice very close to my ear. I felt him lightly kiss the side of my neck.

"Mmm," I said, too tired to really form any words. His chuckled lightly.

"Breakfast is only opened for another two hours," he said quietly before kissing my neck again. I sighed, and he pulled away as I slowly pushed myself up, yawning and stretching as I swung my feet over the side of the bed. I felt his hands slide over my ribs before I lowered my arms, and I laughed as his fingers lightly went over my sides, tickling me. I jumped out of the bed away from him before stumbling sleepily over to my suitcase, grabbing some clothes and going into the washroom. The shower helped wake me up fully, and I pulled on my pair of jeans and a white, button-up blouse over a black tank top that had a black lace trim. I blow-dried my hair, and went out to find Edward lying on the couch with his book, his skin shimmering brightly from the sunlight that was spilling inside through the large glass door to the balcony. He looked up and smiled at me, and he just looked so dazzling that I couldn't repress the small sigh that escaped my lips. I looked over at the clock, and went and leaned over the back of the couch to give him a kiss.

"I'm going to go grab something to eat and run across the street to the store quickly. I'll be back in about an hour," I said, not wanting to leave him. But if I went and got this out of the way now he would be trapped in this room with me for the rest of the day.

"Take your time, I'll be right here when you get back," he said casually, but I could see a little bit of sadness in his eyes. I kissed him again, lingering a little longer this time, then grabbed my coat and left.

I grabbed some bacon and eggs, making a sandwich out of them with some toast and eating a little too quickly. Once I downed my glass of orange juice, I put away my plate and hurried outside into the bright sunlight.

The grocery store was literally just across the street, but it was a very wide, busy street, and I had to walk down the road a ways to a cross walk and make my way back up. I picked up a loaf of bread, and some stuff to make sandwiches along with a big bag of red grapes, some peaches, a big bag of chips, some cookies and a large container of juice. I grabbed a bottle of white wine on my way out of the store too, and made my way quickly back to the hotel.

Edward opened the door for me when he heard me fumbling with the card, and took my bags from me while kissing me and pulling me into the room. He set everything down on the counter for me, and watched carefully as I put everything away.

I hung up my coat and went and laid down on the couch beside him, resting my head in his cool lap. His arm draped comfortably over my stomach, and I threaded my fingers though his while he flicked through the channels on the TV. He settled on some horribly boring romance movie, but there wasn't anything else on at this time of day. I just kind of stopped watching, annoyed with the character the actress was portraying as she went after a married man, even though she had someone waiting for her at home. I just closed my eyes, concentrating on the soothing feeling of Edward's fingers combing through my long hair.

"Have you ever dated anyone else?" I asked curiously, looking up at him. He had been staring off out the window, and looked at me a little surprised when I spoke.

"No," he said easily.

"Really?" I found that pretty hard to believe with the way women seemed to be always throwing themselves at him.

"Nope, no one. Just you." His eyes were completely sincere, and I felt a little trickle of relief flow through me. It was painful to think of him with someone else. But then I realized that just because he hadn't _dated_ didn't mean he hadn't _been_ with anyone. He must have seen the thought pass through my eyes, because his face turned concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Have you ever… you know," I said, my face turning bright red. His expression turned a little nervous, but he answered me quickly.

"No, I haven't." I relaxed a bit more, and he gave me an uncomfortable smile before looking away from me. A sharp pain shot through my chest at the look I saw in his eyes before he hid them though. I sat up slowly, and felt him look at me again as I pulled my knees up to my chest. "Does it… does it bother you that I have?" I asked very quietly. I had never thought about that before. Edward was a very old fashioned person, I wasn't ready for that sort of thing with him yet, but the thought that he might not want to because I had already been with someone else made me feel horrible.

He easily pulled me into his lap though, and tilted my face up to look at him. "No," he said fiercely. I saw in his face that he could fully see my worry in my eyes, and he kissed me quickly. "I love you completely in every way Isabella, and the fact that you have a history doesn't diminish that at all. Okay?"

I nodded, shaking slightly from my nerves still. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

I drifted off against him for a couple hours, waking up to him drawing gentle designs against my back with his finger. Even against his cool skin the room had gotten very hot, and I wondered if he had purposely jacked up the thermostat, but I wasn't going to say anything. I went and grabbed a peach off of the counter, eating it while I walked over to my room and took off my blouse, setting it on top of my suitcase. I went and dropped the pit in the garbage before going back and sitting in Edward's lap. He was smiling happily at me, and lifted his hand to gently brush my hair behind my ear.

I loved that he just seemed so easily happy around me, and didn't try to hide it. Seeing him smile made me smile, and I felt like that's what I was always doing when I was with him; smiling. I was truly happy when I was with him, and I felt my eyes start to water as I watched his happy face. His eyes went scared for a moment, and he took my face in his hands when I tried to look away.

"What's wrong?" He asked again quietly, staring deeply into his eyes. Why couldn't I stop worrying him? That guilt added to my tears.

"Nothing's wrong," I whispered back, not being able to shake my head. "I'm just really happy. You make me so happy Edward."

He gave me the brightest smile before leaning forward and kissing me. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I didn't know what real happiness was until I met you," he whispered in between kisses. "And that's all my life has been since the day you kissed me. You make me the happiest man in the world Isabella." I silenced him with my lips, kissing him urgently. As I leaned heavily into the kiss, his hands gripped onto my waist, picking me up and setting me down so that I was straddling his lap. I leaned my body into his as his hands slid down my back. I stood up on my knees, making him tilt his head back against the couch as I slid my hands down his throat. His hands slid down the backs of my thighs, gripping so tightly that I wanted to moan, but I didn't want him to stop. I leaned my head to the side, kissing his neck as my hands quickly went through the buttons on his shirt. I felt him freeze underneath me, and I quickly moved my lips back to his mouth so that he wouldn't think of anything else as my hands slid his shirt over his shoulders. I felt him relax under my touch, and his hands were tight on me once again. I trailed the tips of my fingers along his sculpted stomach, and lightly trailed my tongue over his bottom lip. He tasted so good.

He growled, and shivered against me as I slid my fingers along the waistband of his jeans. I popped the button on his pants, and half a second later my hands were at my sides, locked in his tight grip around each of my wrists. I looked at him with my most mischievous smile, seeing the aroused look in his eyes and that he really hadn't wanted to stop me. "Isabella, we can't-"

I shook my head, and he let my pull my hands out of his and I placed my palms on his stomach. "I won't, but there are other things..." I said suggestively, and I saw his eyes darken a little. I leaned against him, pressing my breasts up against him while I whispered lowly in his ear. "Don't stop me Edward. I know you want me to, and that's okay."

His hands were tight on my hips once again, and I leaned back to look in his eyes. He looked so nervous, and I gave him a gentle smile before leaning into him and kissing him again. My lips were gentle at first, but as I leaned into him his lips became more fierce against mine, and I let him pull my tank top over my head. I leaned back slightly, brushing my hair out of my face, and his hands traveled up my stomach before cupping my breasts firmly. I smiled at him, and his mouth mirrored mine as I leaned into him again and kissed him. I quickly moved over to his neck though, and left a slow trail of kisses down his chest as I slid down his body, kneeling on the thick carpet in front of him.

"Isabella, you really don't need to-"

"I know I don't _need_ to. I'm doing this because I _want_ to." I smiled at him sweetly, and confidently. "Don't you want me to Edward?" I asked, reaching back and unclasping my bra before letting it fall to the floor.

"Oh god," he said, closing his eyes. I smiled, and unzipped his pants before gently tugging them down a little bit.

"Oh god," I said, copying his words. He opened his eyes again, worried, and I gave him a beaming smile. "You're magnificent," I told him encouragingly, and very truthfully, slowly sliding my hand up his large shaft.

He moaned, throwing his head back and gripping onto the cushion of the couch tightly. I knew now that Edward had never done something like this before, and the thought gave me courage even though I really didn't have much experience myself, and it had been more than two years since then really. Even if I wasn't ready to sleep with him, I wanted to make him feel as good as he made me feel. I wanted to be closer to him, and now, seeing the way his body reacted to my touch, was the most arousing thing I had ever seen. I slowly slid both of my hands up and down him, increasing my pressure. He had responded quickly to my touch, and I was a little relieved. His skin didn't give like a human's did, and I had worried that I might not be… strong enough to make him feel this properly.

But he was acting _very_ human right now. His eyes shut tightly as his head was leaning back, breathing heavily. His eyes shot open though when I slid my tongue up his length, and they were completely black as he stared down at me, his desire burning in his eyes. I smiled up at him before wrapping my lips around his head and rolling my tongue around him.

"Oh fuck," he gasped, his fingers ripping through the cushion of the couch. I hummed happily, my lips almost making a popping sound as I pulled him out of my mouth. "You taste delicious," I purred, smiling innocently up at him while he stared at me in shock, and he moaned again as I quickly took him in my mouth again.

I had meant my words, it kind of reminded me of sucking on a Popsicle to be honest. I gently moved my mouth up and down him, increasing my speed gradually. His breathing became more laboured, and I thought it was curious since he didn't actually need the air. I guess that there were just some habits that immortality couldn't break. When I saw that he was close, I increased my suction on him and within moments he flinched as he reached his climax. I pulled a Kleenex out of the box on the table, spitting into it quietly and wiping my mouth. He was watching me with this dazed, disbelieving look on his face, and I smiled up at him brightly. I winked at him, and went to stand up, but in half a second I was on my back on the couch, his mouth crushing against mine as his hands roughly grabbed onto my breasts. My hands slid up his arms before I gripped onto his shoulders, and his hands tightly slid down my stomach.

I pulled in a sharp breath as he pressed a little too roughly against my scar, and he pulled away from me quickly, staring at me in horror as my hands flew to the spot.

"Isabella! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," I said, but my voice came out a little tight. I looked up at him, and tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Really, I am. It's just stings a little, happens all the time." I sat up slowly, evening out my breathing as I looked at the clock. "I'm just going to go get cleaned up and then we can head over to the airport, okay?"

He nodded sadly, and I leaned over to give him a kiss. His eyes were closed tightly when I pulled away, and I took his face in my hands and waited until he looked at me. His eyes were tortured. "Edward, I really am fine. Please don't beat yourself up about this."

He relaxed in my hands, but only slightly. I gave him one sad look, knowing that there was nothing I could do but give him time to calm down, and kissed him again gently before picking up my shirt and walking over to the bedroom.

After putting my shirt and blouse back on, I went to the washroom and brushed my teeth, washed my face and brushed my hair again before going out. Edward was decent again, and pulled me into his arms as soon as I walked out of the bedroom. I held onto him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I scared myself, I was too distracted and forgot to be careful."

"It's okay," I said, combing my fingers through his hair soothingly. "I just don't want you to stress out over it, I hurt myself because of it multiple times a day, I'm so used to it, it really isn't a big deal." I held his face in my palms, and felt a little silly because my feet were dangling below me and he was supporting my weight with his hold around my waist. "I don't want you to be afraid to touch me," I said quietly, and gave him a suggestive smile, "because I _really_ like it when you touch me."

He smiled back at me before kissing me, and I grinned against his lips as I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He spun us around and pinned me against the wall, and his cold breath tickling my ear made me laugh. He pulled back and gave me an adoring smile, making my cheeks warm.

He sighed and put me down, grabbing my coat and holding it out for me to slip my arms through. "If we don't leave now I'll never be able to bring myself to do it." I laughed again, and grabbed my purse and laced my fingers through his as he locked the door behind us.

It wasn't a long drive to the airport, and we were waiting in the car at the arrivals for Esme. I reached out to Edward's face, and smoothed a thumb across one of the dark circles under his black eyes. "It's too late to start looking at houses tonight, you should go hunting," I told him seriously. "Maybe bring Esme with you, scout out the local cuisine."

He grinned, but it disappeared quickly. "I don't want to leave you alone," he said quietly.

"You can drop me off at the hotel, and I'll just take a nice long bath and relax while you're out. I'll be safe and sound in our room," I told him with an encouraging smile. Usually I would have been offended by his suggestion that I couldn't take care of myself, but I knew it was just because he cared, and was as unwilling to part with me as I was from him. I wanted him to get something to eat though, he was always much more relaxed when his eyes were that lovely shade of honey and gold.

"Okay, we'll just go quickly, no more than two hours."

"Okay," I said happily, and leaned forward across the center console to kiss him. He pulled away after a minute though.

"Esme's here, I'm just going to grab her bags." He kissed me again quickly and hopped out of the car. I got out too so I could give her a hug, but she froze when she saw my face. I looked back at her uncomfortably, but after a moment her face went back to its usually happy and loving smile as she pulled me into a hug.

"It's so nice to see you Isabella, you need to come visit us more," she said gently, and I hugged her back tightly. "How was your drive down?"

"Very beautiful," I said happily, and opened up the door and climbed into the back seat of the car. I was much shorter than she was, and she could use the extra leg room. We were at the hotel fifteen minutes later, and Esme checked in while Edward walked me back up to our room after I gave her another hug and said goodnight.

He walked inside with me, and picked me up to give me a long kiss before leaving. He put me down, and just as he reached for the door I asked him to wait, and ran into the kitchen.

"Can you open this for me? I don't have a cork screw," I said sweetly, and he laughed. He pinched onto the cork, pulling it out easily and handing it back to me with a smile. "Thanks," I said happily. He gave me another kiss, assuring me that he'd be back soon before he left.

I turned on some music before pouring myself a glass of wine, then went into the bathroom and started filling up the Jacuzzi. I loaded it with the vanilla scented bubble bath, and turned on the jets before sinking into the hot water and sighed happily. I washed my hair while I was in there too, then piled it up on top of my head with a giant clip after rinsing out my conditioner. My wine was really good, and the humming from the other guests in the hotel dissolved away. After pouring myself a second glass I topped off the water to warm it up, and I didn't even notice when Edward came back in.

"Isabella?" I heard him say from the door.

"Come in," I said lazily, knowing that I was completely covered in bubbles. He stuck his head in through the door, and I smiled happily at him. The water was starting to cool again though. "Can you hand me the robe on the back of the door?" I asked sweetly, and he smiled as he appeared by the side of the Jacuzzi, holding it out for me, watching me with large eyes. I smiled, and shook my head. "Turn around," I said, almost giggling, and he smiled before turning around, still holding the robe out for me. I stepped out of the tub, and wrapped myself in the fluffy white housecoat before draining the water. He turned around when I walked over to the sink and started combing my hair.

"How was your hunting trip?" I asked cheerfully. He appeared by my side again, watching me with a smile as he leaned against the counter.

"Very good, I think I'm going to like it here," he said in a deep voice.

As soon as I put down my comb, his arms were around me, lifting me up as he kissed me hungrily. My arms automatically wrapped around him, and before I had even realized we had moved he had dropped me down on the bed, making me laugh loudly. I looked up at him, and he was watching me with a look that made me feel almost nervously excited. I smiled back up at him confidently. He went to lean forward to join me, but I held up a hand for him to stop, and he looked at me a little confused.

"Take off your shirt," I said in as serous of a tone as I could muster. He smiled back at me before slipping it over his head, then rested his hand on his hips. "Much better," I said with a smile, and then he was on top of me, running his fingers through my wet hair.

His eyes were glowing, the brightest I had ever seen them. I was lost in their depths as he stared down at me, his face so close to mine. There was nothing else in the world except for that beautiful burning gold, until his lips met mine. Then my body felt like it had been engulfed in flames, ignited by that electric spark that shot through me when he kissed me. I kissed him back fiercely, gasping against his lips. His body leaned into mine, his hips pushing apart my legs as he pinned me against the bed with his weight. I gripped onto him tightly with my thighs as my hands fisted in his hair. He pulled himself away from me a little, holding his upper body over me with his arms while I stared back at him, trying to steady my breathing. I smiled up at him brightly, not even wanting to try and hide how happy I was. My heart was racing, my mind clear and relaxed from being protected from the side effects of my shield, and just being with him. We could be doing anything in the world, and I would be happy with him.

I loved him.

The realization froze me, and I stared up at him in horror. I felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on me, and I slid away from Edward slightly as he leaned back on his knees, looking at me in confusion. I backed away, tightening my robe around me as I slid off of the bed. I couldn't meet his eyes, and blurted out the first words I could think of while I felt him watching me. "Sorry, bathroom," I said, turning around and running into the bathroom before locking the door. I turned on the faucet and hoped that the sound of the running water would block the sound of my breathing as I started to hyper ventilate.

I knew that I cared for Edward, so much and for a very long time now. I've loved him for a long time too, now that I think about it. I had just never used the words in my mind before. I slid down the cupboard of the sink and sat on the floor, wrapping my arms around myself tightly. I didn't know what to do. I was putting him in danger, being with him. I've been doing that this entire time, endangering all of them. I knew that and I had stayed anyways. With Edward it was different though, a consuming, life altering type of love that few people were fortunate enough to find. I had found it twice, and I couldn't let what happened to Jacob happen to Edward too. The thought alone of him being hurt was soul crushing, and tears started streaming out of my eyes. I stood up quickly, pulling on the jeans I had left in the bathroom a couple hours ago, then froze, leaning against the counter.

But I couldn't leave, because that would be hurting him too. I knew that Edward loved me, for much longer than I have him. He loves me so much that he won't even say it because he doesn't want to hurt me. And we had gone over all of this, almost a year ago. I had told them that they were in danger, but they decided they wanted me anyways. My legs gave out and I collapsed on the floor again, burying my face in my hands to cover my sobs. I didn't know what to do. _How could I have let this happen?_

"Isabella?" Edward's worried voice carried through the thick door. "Isabella? Are you okay?" I couldn't say anything, I knew if I removed my hands from my mouth my cries would break free. Staying silent was safer. I heard him jiggle the locked door knob. "Isabella!"

"I'm fine," I choked out, but it was not believable in the slightest and I covered my mouth again quickly.

"Isabella, I'm coming in," he warned, and I shook my head. He obviously couldn't see me though. I flinched when I heard him break the lock on the door as he pushed it open. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, and leaned my forehead against my knees while I muffled my cries and tried to breathe. I felt his hands on my shoulders and shook my head again, and he let me go quickly. "Isabella," he whispered, and the pain in his voice made me cry even harder. "I'm so sorry. What did I do?" I shook my head again. He thought _he_ did this, but it was all _my_ fault. "Please, look at me. Talk to me."

I finally brought myself to look at this tortured face, and he trapped me in his eyes. He gently wrapped his hands around my wrists and pulled my hands away from my mouth, letting my sobs escape as I gasped for breath. It was too painful, looking at the expression I had put on his face. I closed my eyes quickly, and then I felt that he had sat down and pulled me into his lap. I struggled to get away from him but he held onto me tightly, and I gave up quickly. The closeness to him just made my feelings for him so much more dominant in my mind.

He rocked me in his arms while I went limp against him, giving up and just letting myself cry.

"I'm sorry Edward," I said, when I was able to breathe enough to say the words. I still felt like I was drowning.

He cupped my face in his hands, making me meet his gaze again. "What's wrong Isabella?" He asked desperately. I stared at him for a long moment and he pulled an honest-to-god, old-fashioned handkerchief out of his back pocket, and gently wiped away my tears.

"I need to leave," I said quietly, hating the words. I couldn't bring myself to move though.

"What makes you think that you have to leave?" He asked gently, holding me a little tighter.

I took a deep, shaky breath, and had to tell him the truth. "Because I love you."

He looked at me, stunned, before he smiled brilliantly. "You know I love you too, more than anything. That's a reason to stay, not leave."

I shook my head. "Not for me. It was selfish of me to stay. I can't let anything happen to you, just the thought… I can't breathe," I said, wrapping my arms around myself tightly again. "I can't lose you too Edward, I can't. It will kill me, I can't go through that again."

"You won't," he told me fiercely.

"You can't know that," I cried quietly.

"I told you Isabella, I don't think you're cursed and even if you were I don't care. I won't let you leave." He kissed me firmly, crushing my lips with his. "You're _mine_ Isabella, and you're not going anywhere." I looked into his eyes, and they were burning into me. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. I can't live without you. You can't leave me."

"I don't know what to do," I cried.

"All you have to do is stay. I know you don't want to leave me. I need you to trust me when I say that I'm going to be okay. _We're_ going to be okay Isabella."

I wrapped my arms around him quickly. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he whispered, squeezing me a little tighter. "It's okay, everything is going to be okay."

I couldn't find anything to say, because even though I didn't believe him, I had no more material to argue with. I couldn't leave him, any of them, and knowing that was suffocating.

Edward lifted me up, and carried me over to the bed where he gently laid me down. He curled up beside me, slipping an arm under my pillow and wrapping his other one around my waist. I rested my hands against his bare chest, and looked up at him sadly.

"I love you Edward," I whispered.

He leaned closer, resting his forehead against mine. "I love you too Isabella." He kissed me gently, and when he pulled away he put my head against his chest, smoothing my hair before wrapping his arm around my waist again.

. . . . . . . . . .

We didn't meet with Esme until one, her appointment with her realtor not being until two, and Edward let me sleep in. I felt like a zombie. My emotions were shot and my brain just felt fried. I tried taking a shower to wake myself up, but it did nothing. Edward had ordered room service when I was in the bathroom, and I came out to a big buffet of eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast and fruit. It took all the energy that I had to keep a smile on my face and eat, trying not to upset him. I felt a little better when he pulled me into his lap and just held me while we sat on the couch in front of the TV.

"Are you sure that you want to go today? We can always join her tomorrow."

"I'm sure," I said in as cheery of a voice as I could muster. I knew he didn't believe me, but he nodded and rested his chin on the top of my head. One rolled around, the clouds covered the sun, and we made our way down to the lobby to meet Esme.

I smiled when I saw her, and ran over to give her a hug while Edward went to get his car. I went outside and sat on a bench with Esme while we waited for him.

"So what did you do last night?" I asked curiously. I felt bad that she was staying in a room by herself when she didn't even sleep and we were in the same building.

"A little bit of exploring," she said happily. "I scouted out the areas of some of the houses that I'm debating on. Couldn't really do that with the realtor around, but today I'll be able to see _inside_ of them. I brought so much work with me, and I spent the entire morning filling out the forms enrolling the kids for high school in January."

"Did you have to like, make up cover stories?" I asked her curiously. I had to bite back my laugh when she had called Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper kids. Physically they were barely younger than me, and Emmett was older than me actually. She smiled.

"Yes, every time. It's a little tiring, but it gets really easy after a while. So much forgery. We already have all of our new IDs, but faking things like transcripts we need to do ourselves and it can be time consuming. I like taking care of it myself though."

Edward pulled around in the car, and I had to argue with Esme to make her take the front seat. I watched our surroundings curiously while we drove through the new town, and we passed the big university that Edward had been telling me about the other day. I was starting to miss school really, and was really thinking of going back just for fun, but I was a little worried that it might bother Edward going to the same school as me. We were together all the time, and I liked it. I was just happier when he was around and felt lonely when he wasn't, and a little part of me had been a little hopeful that he might have asked to get a place with me. But he told me he had been planning to live with his family this time, and I wasn't going to let that upset me. I took enough of his time away from them as it was, and even though he loved me there was always that little voice in my head that told me he was going to get bored of me since I couldn't give him what he wanted; forever. A few more years and I would be older than him, and they would move again, and I was just going to try and keep enjoying this until that happened. It was a little comforting in a painful way; I loved him too much to leave him, but it would be better for him, for all of them if he got over me and moved on. Just like my love for Jacob though, for me I knew this was permanent. When I told him I loved him I had meant it completely, and that wouldn't change. My heart didn't work like that.

Edward pulled up in front of the realtor's office and they both stepped out, and he came around to my side quickly to offer me a hand as I climbed out of the back seat. I tripped a little, falling into him, and he wrapped his arms around me gently.

I looked up into his golden eyes, and there was so much love and concern in them that it made me doubt my mind. It was hard to think he would leave me when he looked at me like that, and it made my eyes sting. I reached up, taking his face in my hands gently, and he leaned forward, gripping me tightly while his lips crushed against mine. My arms wrapped around his neck when he lifted me off the ground, pressing my back against the car.

I froze against him, my face burning when Esme cleared her throat. Edward gave an audible sigh, putting me down gently but not loosening his grip on me as he held me against him. Esme was giving us an amused smile while she stood next to a man in a blue blazer, he had black hair, grey eyes and looked to be in his late thirties.

We both froze when we saw each other, and I instinctively gripped tightly onto Edward's arm around me. I felt his grip on me tighten too as he no doubt read George's mind.

"Hello Isabella," he said with a creepy smile, and I felt Edward's chest vibrate with a quiet growl against my back as his eyes trailed over me. I didn't dignify his greeting with a response, I was terrified in that moment that Edward was actually going to kill him. I wouldn't have minded that too much, but this place was crowded and I was afraid that Edward would endanger him and his family if he hurt him.

"We'll be taking our business elsewhere," he said coldly, tucking me into the front seat of the car. "Come on Esme, let's go."

She looked at him curiously but didn't say anything as Edward nodded and he held his seat forward for her and she climbed into the back. George watched me angrily as we pulled out of the parking lot and sped back to the hotel.

Esme remained quiet, but I had caught Edward's lips moving slightly and guessed that he was talking to her lower than I could hear.

"You guys don't have to whisper around me," I said sadly. Edward gave me an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to upset you," he said, reaching over and taking my hand. "I was just telling her that he had been one of your foster parents." I saw in his eyes, not only his obvious anger, but the concern that I hadn't actually told him what had happened.

"Is this going to make things complicated? For you guys to move here?" I asked worriedly.

"No, it shouldn't. He's doesn't have access to any way of doing a background check on us, we'll just be yet another family moving into a city coincidentally at the same time as you."

"But we don't have to move here Isabella, not if you don't want to. We can go somewhere else," Esme told me seriously, resting her hand on my shoulder. I gave her a smile, and looked over at Edward.

"No, that's okay. He can't hurt me again," I said confidently, and Edward nodded, pulling my hand up to his mouth and placing a kiss in my palm.

We went back to the hotel, and I apologized to Esme for ruining her appointment with a small smile. She kissed me on the forehead before hugging me tightly and assuring me that she would be able to find another one for tomorrow before we parted ways. Edward asked if he could take me out to dinner, and we went right back out as he drove to the restaurant.

I had a really sudden craving for fajitas, and he easily found a little Mexican restaurant. I watched in disbelief as he slipped the sever a bill while asking for a private table, and she guided us to a booth in the empty corner of the restaurant. Their strawberry daiquiris looked amazing, and I ordered one before the sever left and opened up my menu excitedly. It didn't take long to find what I was looking for, and I shut my menu quickly with a happy smile.

Edward slid down the curved seat of the booth so that he was right next to me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders while watching me with a concerned look. I watched him, a little confused, but relaxed against his hand as he cupped my face.

"Be honest with me Isabella, are you really okay?" He asked, burning into my eyes with his.

"I'm fine Edward," I told him honestly. "I'm sorry I've been so off today though, and… that I didn't tell you."

He shook his head, leaning forward and kissing me. "You have nothing to apologize for. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide from me, ever."

I nodded, but his face still looked very strained. Our waitress came back with my drink though, and I ordered quickly before she left again. As soon as she was out of hearing distance, I leaned back into Edward, and combed my fingers through his soft hair. "Are _you_ okay?" I asked worriedly. He closed his eyes, relaxing against my touch.

"It was hard, actually seeing in his mind what he did to you, I didn't think I would be able to make it out of there without killing him. You touching me was the only thing that stopped me."

I leaned in and kissed him while his eyes were still closed, and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I smiled at him when I pulled away from him a little, and his eyes started to burn into me again as I slowly trailed my hands down his chest. "You have nothing to worry about though. He can't do anything to me, not while I have my strong vampire boyfriend protecting me, and a Smith and Wesson stashed away in my nightstand," I said happily.

I had been expecting a big smile at that, but his face still looked concerned. I panicked when I thought I might have been a little too forward. "What?" I said, leaning back and looking at him worriedly.

"I want to be there to protect you Isabella, every moment of every day. I hate not being around you, even if you're just sleeping." He took my hands tightly in his. "I want you to live with me. Not with the others, just by ourselves. I want to buy you a house. You can rip it a part and rebuild it however you want and paint the whole thing purple if you feel like it, I don't care. I just want to be by your side while you do it."

I stared at him, shocked. He just asked me to move in with him, he wasn't trying to distance himself from me. He actually wanted this, and it wasn't because he felt obligated because he knew I could take care of myself.

"I would never paint an entire house purple Edward," I told him obviously. "It's an accent colour, it would be too over-powering as a wall colour." He stared at me with his eyes wide, confused. I grinned at him. "That was my way of saying yes," I told him.

He pulled my legs into his lap, pulling me as close as he could get to me without my legs wrapped around him. I was suddenly very happy that he had been able to get us this private section as we were hidden behind the high back of the crescent-shaped booth. He kissed me firmly, his arms wrapping around me like a vice as he leaned me backwards. It was dizzying, there was nothing else besides his lips and the electricity that flowed through them. He pulled away so that I would breathe, and covered my face and neck in kisses, making me laugh loudly. He cupped my face gently in his hands as he gave me the most dazzling smile I had ever seen, it melted my heart, and it was nothing compared to the look in his eyes. There was so much joy, so much love in them. He didn't need to say anything, I could see it all in his face, and I smiled back brilliantly at him before leaning forward out of his hands and giving him a long kiss before burying my face in his neck and hugging him. We both seemed to relax and we held each other tightly, just so happy and wanting to enjoy the closeness.

After a little while he carefully lifted me off of him, placing me down only a couple of inches away while he kept his arm hanging around my shoulders. I started at him, confused for half a minute before the waitress came around the corner. I could feel my face burn even hotter as I habitually tried to smooth out my hair and took a big sip of my drink.

The food smelt delicious, the chicken, peppers and onions came on this big sizzling skillet along with a plate of warm tortillas and all the fixings. I quickly started to assemble my food with a big smile, and looked over at Edward. He was watching with a worried expression.

"What?" This was why I didn't like going out to restaurants with him, it was hard to eat and enjoy your food when your company was just staring at you with nothing else to do.

"That looks dangerous," he said, tilting his head at the sizzling platter, "And why didn't they assemble it for you?"

I laughed, shaking my head, and took a bite of my food. Delicious. "It's much better this way, and you can make it just how you want it."

He nodded, and it was obvious that he didn't understand the appeal. He placed his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand and smiling at me, and it was so adorable that I couldn't get mad. I smiled as I took another bite. "So what sort of house do you want?" He asked happily.

I thought about it for a long moment while I ate, and started talking while I assembled another one. "Something small. It'd be nice if we found something a little out of the way, I don't want any neighbours that are close enough to feel them. A big backyard," I said with a big smile. "What sort of house do you want though?"

"Just one with you smiling inside of it," he said happily, and I rolled my eyes. "I'd like not having neighbours too though, maybe something close to the woods to make it easier to get around." I smiled happily, glad that my anti-socialism worked for his need for secrecy.

We talked about different ideas and details while I ate my food, and that bright smile never left his face. I ordered a second drink, comfortable in our little private bubble. He wanted to leave his piano at Esme's house so that he could play for her when he went over, and we didn't need two giant pianos. I wasn't too surprised to find that he really didn't care about colour schemes or decorating at all, because I had been to his house plenty of times before. He did have a lot of paintings that he had collected that I had never seen apparently, which worked because my walls were mostly bare except for my hand-made curtains.

It was only six when we got back to the hotel, the sun only just starting to set behind the thin clouds. After kicking off my boots and hanging up my coat, I grabbed a glass of water and dropped down beside my smiling vampire on the couch. As soon as I sat my glass down on the table he lifted me quickly off of the couch, pulling me into his lap as his arms engulfed me and he kissed me fiercely.

**Thank you for reading!**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three: Moving On

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-Three :: Moving On**

**Isabella**

Esme had an appointment at ten the next morning with a new realtor. I was a little annoyed that Edward let me sleep in past nine, saying that "I just looked too happy to wake up." God. So I was a little cranky as I sprung out of bed, dug through my suitcase to find something to wear, and dashed into the bathroom. I didn't really have time to have a shower and deal with wet hair, but I washed my face, brushed my teeth and brushed my hair before putting it into a high pony tail.

We went and waited for Esme downstairs while I grabbed some breakfast quickly, forgetting my anger while Edward continued to smile at me adorably as he had been doing for the past seventeen hours or so. Once Esme came down, I put away my plate while Edward left me with her to get the car.

She looked at a dozen different houses that day, all over the city, but she found _the one_. Just outside of town, this two-story ranch like house. It was surrounded by dense forest with no neighbours for ten kilometers in any direction. It was built kind of like a squared U, and the area inside the formation's walls were mostly glass with something that reminded me of a courtyard filling the area in the middle. The stones on the walkways were overgrown with weeds, the plumbing was really old and needed to be replaced and it could use a new coat of paint but it was absolutely gorgeous. I knew Esme would be able to fix it up beautifully, and as we drove back to the hotel, stopping first so I could eat something, Esme told me excitedly about her plans as her mind raced thinking about all the possibilities. We didn't get back to the hotel until after eight, and I felt gross and exhausted from all the running around.

"I think I'm going to take a bath," I said, slumping against the wall as I pulled off my boots. I was starting to get a bit of a headache, and opened up my bottle of wine again, pouring myself a large glass after taking off my coat. Edward kissed me before walking over to the couch and picking up his book as he sat down. I watched him with a smile for a moment before walking over to the bathroom.

I relaxed in the warm bubbly water after washing my hair, soaking for maybe an hour until I finished my glass of wine. I drained the tub and wrapped myself in the fluffy white robe that had been cleaned while we were out today. I carefully combed my wet hair, leaving it loose around my shoulders before brushing my teeth. I stretched happily, feeling amazingly refreshed, and picked up my clothes before walking out to the bedroom.

I stared as I stepped out, Edward was sitting up against the headboard, casually reading his book in nothing but the pair of dark jeans he'd been wearing today. I flushed when he looked up after a minute, smiling innocently at me as he caught me staring, and I quickly turned around and walked over to my suitcase. I folded my dirty clothes, and started combing through my clean ones for something comfortable to wear.

"Esme got us an appointment with the same woman as today. Tomorrow at noon." His voice was very close to my ear, making me jump slightly before his hands slid down my hips and back up again. I'm sure he heard my heart rate speed up a little. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath when I couldn't concentrate on the clothes in front of me anymore. It suddenly felt even hotter in here.

"O-okay," I said simply, not finding any other words as his cool fingers brushed my hair over one shoulder and I felt his lips against the back of my neck. The coolness of his touch was very refreshing in the hot room, and I sighed when his lips made their way down the side of my neck, tilting my head to the side. I leaned into him as his firm hands slid up my ribs and grabbed onto my breasts, leaning my head back against his chest as his lips made their way back up to my ear hungrily. As he squeezed me gently, his fingers pinching me slightly through the fabric of my robe, as small moan escaped my lips. In the same second I was falling back onto the pillows of the bed on the other side of the room. I only opened my eyes for a second to see Edward grinning down at me before I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him urgently. That pleased look in his eyes was enough to push me over the edge and it felt like my body burst into flames. I knew that I loved him, and that wasn't going to stop me this time, it just made me want to feel his hands on my body even more. He leaned me back into the pillows, and I let go of him to rake my fingertips over his beautiful stomach while smiling happily against his lips. His lips left mine, and I opened my eyes to find him watching me with an amused grin. I tried to hide my smile but I couldn't as I slid my hands back up his hard stomach then over his broad shoulders. His smile grew even bigger and he leaned forward, but just before his lips touched mine they were suddenly below my ear, and I laughed loudly when his breath tickled me, gripping onto him tightly. I felt his breath on my throat when he laughed. His hand slid underneath my shoulders, lifting me up so that I leaned my head back as he kissed the hollow of my throat and along my collar bone.

I felt so dizzy, completely losing myself in the feel of his electric touch. My heart was pounding in my ears as my hands slid up his shoulders, wrapping around him when I felt his other arm slide under my back and wrap around my waist. He held me against him as he sat up fluidly, pulling me on top of him and settling me over his lap. I was very much aware that I was wearing nothing beside my big fluffy robe, but I wasn't nervous. I felt completely happy around this man that obviously loved me so much, and knew that he wouldn't do anything to me that I didn't want him to. I wanted to feel his skin on mine, and hated the material that was standing between us. He had only paused for a minute, looking into my eyes level with his while his arms were still wrapped around me, holding me against his chest. He was no doubt giving me the chance to protest, and I didn't blame his hesitation after the incident the other day, but I was still smiling back at him happily. I just felt so happy, so completely relaxed and worry free. For now, nothing mattered except Edward, and I hoped he could see that in my eyes. The more I thought about it, the stronger it felt, and I begged my eyes not to water from the intensity of it.

"I love you," he whispered reverently, his eyes burning into mine with an expression I couldn't really name. "I love you so much that no words exist that can describe it properly."

"I love you too," I whispered confidently, feeling proud that I hadn't started crying. I cried way too much around my new family, and I swore that would change. God, Edward was turning me into such a softie, what happened to me? But I'm going to be happy, I have a reason to live now besides revenge and living to the promise I had made to Jacob to live.

He burned me with his eyes for another long minute, smiling so lovingly at me before he leaned in slowly, and kissed me softly. It was the sweetest kiss, and my arms slowly loosened around him as I rested my hands gently against his chest. One of his hands slid up my back, and rested on the back of my neck, his fingers in my hair as he leaned into the kiss gently. I pushed myself forward, leaning up on my knees on either side of him as I matched his pressure. While his hand held the back of my neck, gripping onto my hair slightly, his other one slid up the center of my back, pressing me against him more tightly as he slowly slid it down my spine. I loved the force he was using, liking him more when he wasn't trying to be so gentle, but I was more than happy to practice. I let a small, pleased moan escape against his lips, and inhaled his sweet breath as his mouth opened against mine. A small, deep rumble escaped his chest. I smiled excitedly at the jolt of arousal it shot through me, my chest swelling and deflating quickly against his while my pulse drowned out any other noise.

The hand that he had had on the back of my neck slid around, and he brushed my hair away as he kissed my neck. I leaned my head back as his lips travelled slowly down my throat, and both of his hands slid firmly down my back. They travelled over my bottom and then down my legs before sliding under my robe. I leaned into him as his cold hands slid up the backs of my thighs, cupping my butt and pulling me into him as he moaned, realizing I was completely naked under this white robe as well. His hands traveled up my hips and held onto my waist as he gently pulled me away from him an inch. I looked into his burning eyes as he slid his hands over top of my robe, stopping at the bow I had tied in the belt, and pulling it undone. His hands slid up my stomach and over my breasts as he pushed the robe over my shoulders, and I let it slip down my arms and pool on the bed behind me as I rested my hands on his stomach. I watched as his eyes traveled over my body on top of his slowly as his hands cupped the backs of my thighs. There was a hunger in his eyes when he met mine again, and they pulled me into him as I slowly slid my hands up his stomach with a small smile playing on my lips. I loved the way he looked at me, making me actually feel beautiful even with a slowly fading bruise covering half of my face and a six inch scar stretching across my stomach. As my hands stopped on his neck, I brushed my lips very gently against his, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

His hands grabbing my bottom again and pulling me into him made me crush my lips against his, and my arms gripped onto his neck tightly. His hands were everywhere, going up and down my back and my legs, sliding over my hips tightly and making me melt against him. Up my stomach and stopping on my breasts as his lips travelled across my shoulder. Then both of his hands were just below my shoulder blades, lifting me up slightly. I threw my head back as I felt his mouth on my left breast, and I let him support my weight as I leaned back into his hands. His tongue flicked over and circled my peak hungrily before switching over to the next one quickly, and I gripped onto his strong arms with my hands tightly as it became almost painful to breathe. One of his hands smoothed down my stomach while his tongue continued to tease me, and I whimpered when I felt his hand slide underneath me and his finger slid between my wet folds. There was just too much sensation as his mouth played with my breasts and his finger gently kneaded me. I was gasping for breath as his mouth travelled back up to my neck and he lifted my head back up to his. I was shaking against him, my legs trembling underneath me while they tried to keep supporting my weight. His lips met mine once again, hovering against them and barely touching mine as his other hand slid down my back and rested gently on my hip. I clutched at his shoulders, holding myself against his cold chest and holding myself up so I wouldn't fall into him. My gasp quickly turned into a loud moan as he slid his finger inside of me, and started to slowly push in in and out. He paused as I cried out when he added a second finger, but I reassured him as I felt myself clench around his fingers. "Oh Edward, that feels so good," I whimpered, resting my forehead against his as I started to move against him. He seemed to really like, and gripped onto my hip as he guided my body up and down against his fingers in his lap. I rotated around his fingers while they were deep inside of me, moaning again at the amazing sensation. Then I was bouncing back on the bed, his lips urgent on mine as I whimpered, pressing myself against him and missing his touch. I cried when his fingers thrust back into me a little roughly, and his lips quickly moved down my body as he pumped his fingers in and out of me in a fast and steady rhythm. I squirmed underneath him, gasping for breath as his lips travelled over my hips bone, and he put a gentle yet restraining hand over my stomach.

I cried when I felt his tongue flick at me, and he increased his speed. I clutched at the blankets underneath me, arching my back as he circled me with his cold tongue. My cries got louder as I reached my climax, and my entire body shivered before I went limp against the bed, almost crying as I tried to breathe.

He left a slow trail of gentle kisses up my stomach, between my breasts and up my throat before meeting my lips. I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me brightly, and I let out a small laugh as I wrapped my shaking arms around his neck. It was too hot, and I wanted to feel his cold skin against mine, so I was happy when he wrapped an arm underneath my back and rolled me on top of him as he laid down on his back, propping his head and shoulders up against the pillows. I relaxed against his chest, keeping my arms wrapped around his neck as my breathing started to slow and covered his neck in little kisses. He rubbed his hands up and down my back softly.

"That was amazing," I whispered into his ear, resting my cheek against his.

"This view is amazing," he said mischievously, sliding his hands down to my butt and squeezing me gently, making me laugh. I snuggled up against him, resting my head against his neck. "You're not too cold, are you?" he asked gently, sliding his hands up my back again.

"No, much too hot," I mumbled against his neck. "This feels nice," I sighed, melting against him.

"Good, I don't think I could bear covering you up," he whispered, and I smiled against his neck, kissing him softly. He started humming quietly, and I quickly recognised the tune as one of my favourites, the song that reminded me of a lullaby, the one he had written.

"I love that song," I whispered sleepily.

"I'm glad. I wrote it for you," he said softly. I tightened my hold around his neck.

"Thank you Edward." I felt him kiss the top of my head, and fell asleep against him quickly when he resumed humming the soft melody.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up the next morning still in his arms, one of his hands was resting lightly on my hip as the other was gently coming through my hair. I stretched against him lazily before going limp again. I was just too comfortable to move.

I felt his lips on the top of my head. "Good morning," he said cheerfully, sliding both of his hands up and down my sides. I smiled against his neck.

"Mmm," I replied, squeezing my arms that were still wrapped around his neck slightly. He chuckled. As his hands slid up my ribs, his thumbs lightly traced of the edge of my breasts, and I shivered against him even though I wasn't cold. "What time is it?" I mumbled sleepily against him.

"Just after nine, you still have a couple hours before we need to leave."

I sighed, knowing that I wanted a shower to start the off the day properly. I was starving too, but I knew that Edward wouldn't mind ordering me room service. I disentangled my arms from around his neck, my hands filled with the feeling of pins and needles as I slid them down Edward's chest and pushed myself up. My eyes shot open when I felt his hands slide up my bare stomach, my face flaming red as I realized that I was still completely naked, and giving him a complete view as I straddled him. But his smile was dazzling and my body leaned into his touch without my permission when his hands cupped my breasts. They slid back down to my waist, and held onto me as he sat up, leaning back against the high headboard.

I watched him shyly as he moved his hands over my body, his pleased smile and the feeling of his touch making me even dizzier. I couldn't think straight and my muscles felt so weak as I was still fighting off the last bits of sleep that gripped onto me. I leaned into him, resting my hands against his chest and my forehead against his as he kissed me softly. My breath caught as he started tracing his thumbs in small circles around my nipples, and I heard a pleasing rumble echo in his chest. One of his hands trailed down my stomach, and I moaned, resting my head on his shoulder as his fingers slipped over me. I started trembling against him, and he held me against him with a hand on my back, kissing my shoulder gently as he rubbed small circles around me. He continued to move his finger in an agonizingly slow speed around me as I weakly clung to his shoulders, driving my body crazy. I whimpered, rubbing my chest against his.

"Do you want this?" he asked in a deep, quiet voice, slipping the tip of his finger inside of me. I moaned, and nodded my head desperately against him. "Say it," he said in an arousing voice, his thumb shooting out and circling me again. He was teasing me, and I was very willing to play along.

I lifted my head from his shoulder, looking into his eyes deeply and giving him a pleading look as I slid my hands onto his neck. "Please Edward, I want it so badly," I whimpered, and his eyes smouldered darkly as he quickly pushed two fingers into me. I cried, gripping onto his shoulders tightly as I rested my forehead against his, while he moved his fingers in and out of me at a quickly growing pace. I whimpered and moved against him, and opened my eyes to watch his face. Seeing him watching me with that engrossed expression made my arousal so much more intense, and I watched him, not breaking eye contact as I quickly reached my climax and collapsed against him.

"I am never going to tire of watching you do that," he whispered fiercely into my ear before kissing my neck. I gave him a half laugh, still trying to breathe.

He held me gently against him while my body slowly relaxed, and I fought not too fall asleep again. After I stopped shaking I looked at the clock, and cursed when I saw the time. I kissed him hard, gripping onto his hair tightly as I moulded my body against his chest, then ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower quickly. I ran out fast in a towel and Edward grabbed me quickly, giving me another long kiss before ducking into the washroom himself and starting up the shower as I got dressed. I put my hair into a French braid, not having time to dry it, and slipped on some tights, my grey and white plaid skirt, and a white blouse, then ran into the kitchen to eat one of the peaches quickly while I ran around and got my things ready. I tripped over one of my boots as I was rushing down the hall, and fell head first into the wall.

"Shit!" I said, clutching at the top of my head. I looked up and sighed in relief when I saw that I at least hadn't dented the wall. Edward's arms were around me in a second, standing me up off the floor and staring at me with a horrified expression. "Sorry, I'm fine. It just stung," I said apologetically, and he gave me a sad smile. He gently placed his cold hand on the top of my head, and I relaxed under his cool touch.

"Better or worse?" He asked quietly.

"Much better," I whispered happily. "I'm okay though, really. We should get going," I said. He sighed, then ducked down to grab my purse that I had dropped and handed it to me. He kept a protective hand on my waist as we made our way down to the lobby. He left me with Esme who was waiting for us, but slid his hand around the back of my neck, and gave me a very long and slightly inappropriate for public kiss before looking at me sadly and running to get the car. My face burned red as I looked at Esme, who was watching us with an amused smile.

"Sorry if we made you wait," I said, leaning in and giving her a hug.

"Nothing to apologize about dear, I got here just before you did," she said easily. I walked outside with her and it wasn't long before Edward pulled up, driving a little too quickly. Esme didn't fight me as hard on taking the front seat, and Edward made the way across town to the Realtor's office again. "So Isabella, do you have any ideas of what you're looking for?"

"What _we're_ looking for," I corrected shyly, and Edward gave me a bright smile through the rear-view mirror. Esme's eyes went wide as she looked behind at me, then over at Edward with a bright smile. I let out a small, relieved sigh that she didn't seem opposed to the idea.

"Yes, we're getting a place together," he told her with a proud smile, answering her silent question I guessed. "Something small, out of the way. Quiet. We'll see what they have to show us," he said happily. Esme turned around, beaming back at me happily.

"I'm very happy for the both of you," she said softly, and I smiled back at her.

It was a long day of driving around all over the place, and I was getting tired as we drove out to the last place we were seeing today. She had shown us some nice places, but they were either too big, the yards too small, or too close to other houses where I could feel the neighbors in my mind. As we drove past the edge of town and the houses became less frequent, I started feeling hopeful as I leaned against Edward's arm in the back seat.

"Now, this one's a bit more out of the way, and it's a little older, but the property is gorgeous," she said happily, and pulled down a small dirt road. My eyes went wide as we broke through the thick trees, and saw a little cabin nestled in front of a large lake. Edward squeezed my hand, and I looked over at him smiling at me. I didn't want to let myself get too excited yet though. "It looks beautiful, but we haven't seen the inside yet," I whispered low, knowing that he would hear but the other human sitting in front of us wouldn't. He nodded, then slid out of the SUV we were in and gave me a hand as I stepped out of the high vehicle.

It was a bit bigger than my house, and looked to have a partial second floor. The wooden logs of its outside structure were stained a dark brown with an almost red hue to them. The yard was bigger than mine, and went down on a gentle slope towards the lake where there was a small dock. It had huge windows, and I held onto Edward's hand tightly, trying to contain my smile as we walked up the front steps.

My mind started racing as I looked around. I asked Esme about the walls, there were too many of them and I didn't like the way they divided the house into small little rooms. I had to put a lot of effort into seeing around all the mounted animal heads and cluttered furniture, but when I did it was actually pretty nice. If I took out the wall separating the kitchen and the living room, and tore down the hallway all together it would let in so much natural light. There were three small bedrooms, but tearing down the wall separating the two smallest ones I could make one large master bedroom with its own private bath. I said all of these things to Edward quietly while he watched me with a happy smile. There was no basement but a large mudroom in the back with a washer and dryer, and there was plenty of room in the yard to build a garage. We walked upstairs to the half floor while Esme talked to the agent downstairs, asking her questions about the structure.

I gasped, smiling brightly. It was the most beautiful room in the house. The walls were slanted, but the flat wall against the back was a giant window that looked over the lake. "Wouldn't this make a beautiful library?" I asked quietly, and walked over to the window to look out at the beautiful view. Edward walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on top of my head. I leaned into him, sliding my hands over his arms and entwining my fingers though his. "What do you think?" I asked him hopefully.

"I love it," he whispered happily into my ear, and I smiled again. "What do you think?"

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath as I stretched out around me with my mind. There was no one except for Edward, and the two women downstairs. "I love it too," I said in a happy voice. "It's not too far away from the University is it?"

"No, barely more than a half hour drive," he said easily. "I'd much rather just spend the next three years hiding in the woods with you though," he said lightly, kissing my neck.

"As much as I'd like that too, I was kind of looking forward to going back to school," I said a little nervously.

He spun me around in his arms, looking at me with bright, excited eyes. "Really?" He asked excitedly. I nodded, and relaxed when a giant smile broke across his face. "That's amazing Isabella, you're going to love University," he said excitedly, lifting me up and kissing me.

We walked back downstairs, both of us smiling, and Esme had no doubt heard our decision from upstairs as she smiled back at us. "We'll take it," Edward said happily. We went back to the office and filled out the paperwork, and we officially took over the house on the first of November. I knew fighting with Edward to let me pay for half would have been a losing battle, but I swore mentally that I would double the house's value by the time I was done with it. I climbed into the back of Edward's car once we left, slowly starting to come down from the high of the evening's excitement. I leaned my head against the cool glass of the window while closing my eyes during the smooth drive back to the hotel.

. . . . . . . . . .

Time seemed to fly by after that. The next day Edward took me out to the University, and we both got a bunch of information about their courses and requirements. I was almost certain that I still wanted to major in English, and Edward was looking into this program about Biomolecular Sciences. I had no idea what that was, but he seemed interested in it.

We toured the large campus and went out for a late dinner afterwards. After our two-day drive back, it was refreshing to be home. Things didn't slow down though as I got my house ready to be put on the market, polishing my floors and scrubbing every inch of the place meticulously and even replacing my roof.

Edward was always at my house now, he had sold his within days and it had already been packed away, storing his piano and most of his other things at Esme's house, but I told him that he could keep his clothes, himself, and anything else he wanted at my place. So I spent the majority of my days with him and his family, enjoying our bikes and the meadow while we still could. Emmett liked watching me shoot, and had built a home-made skeet-shooter in their backyard, so I didn't even have to go off to the ranges by myself to practice anymore. I spent my nights hanging out with Alice, reading, and catching up on much needed sleep. Even though I slept better with Edward next to me, he worked twelve-hour night shifts and it was exhausting being so completely happy all the time.

. . . . . . . . . .

I had stayed up late reading last night, and woke up when I felt Edward get in from work. I stretched against my pillows, and he dropped down in the bed beside me before I even opened my eyes, his cool lips brushing against my jaw.

"Hey," I said, smiling and wrapping my arms around his neck before he kissed me gently.

"Hey," he said softly before kissing me again. "Happy Birthday," he whispered happily, almost singing the words. My smile grew bigger and I made myself open my eyes.

"Thank you," I said happily, and snuggled against him as he lay beside me on the bed. He slid an arm underneath me, holding me against him as he brushed my messy hair away from my face.

"What do you want to do today?"

"This," I told him, holding onto him a little more tightly. He laughed, and kissed my forehead.

"As much as I would love to do just that, my family would never forgive me even I didn't share you for at least a couple hours. I'm supposed to find some way to convince you to go over to the house tonight," he said, and I groaned. He knew I wasn't too big on surprises, so I was glad that he at least gave me some warning this time.

"But not until later?"

"Not until later," he affirmed, and I relaxed against him again.

"Then for now, I'm not moving," I said sleepily, and I felt him kiss the top of my head before he laid back on the bed, and slipped an arm under my head as I curled up against him.

"That sounds perfect to me," he said easily, and I drifted back off to sleep against him.

I stayed there with him until about noon before I made myself get up. I took a nice long shower after doing my yoga, and carefully blow-dried my hair before going into my closet and picking out something to wear. I slipped on a little black dress that I had altered a while ago. It was a little shorter than what I would usually wear, with a ruffled skirt and a high neck, but it's entire back was a delicate lace. After going back and inspecting myself in the mirror, I decided to put my hair up, wrapping it in a neat bun but leaving a few pieces loose around my face that I tucked behind my ears, and wrapped my bun with a thick braid that I pinned in place. I snapped a pair of plain silver studs in my ears and took a step back, twirling in front of my mirror before I smiled.

I felt like I looked twenty.

I walked over to the edge of my bedroom door, peeking at Edward who was sitting on the couch, reading a book with a small smile on his face. I watched him for a couple of minutes, just enjoying seeing him there on my couch. His smile relieved me; I had been worried that be being another year older would bother him, because even though he never said it, I knew that he was hoping I would change my mind about becoming like him. It was such a fundamental part of who I was though, and it killed me knowing that I was hurting him by refusing. There was no choice though, I knew I would never forgive myself if I gave up my humanity, just like Rose even though she didn't have a choice in it. I could never say the words to Edward though, that I'm sure that I would prefer an actual death to living an eternity, even with someone who I loved as much as him. It was the fact that life wasn't permanent that made it so special.

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to relax as I leaned against the wall inside of my room. I was only twenty, there was no reason to worry about that right now. I'd have plenty of time to feel guilty about it in a couple years.

I walked over to the kitchen and opened up the fridge, leaning against the door like my mother told me not to do about two thousand times when I was little, while I tried to figure out what I wanted to eat. I sighed, and picked up a yogurt before walking over and dropping down on the couch. I opened it up and had two bites, but I had no interest in it what-so-ever so I got back up and threw it in the garbage then leaned over the counter, resting my forehead against the cool marble.

I squeaked loudly in surprise when Edward appeared behind me, moving faster than I could notice, and slid his hands down my hips. I shot up straight and spun around to look at him, and he was smiling down at me.

"You look absolutely stunning," he said in a deep voice, wrapping an arm around my waist. The way his eyes burned into me made me a little nervous, but in a good way, and I smiled back at him tentatively. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," I said quietly, not being able to look away from his eyes.

He leaned in a little more closely, and trailed his cool fingers down my throat. I swallowed loudly and he smiled. "How about I take you out? We can grab something to eat, and maybe go see a movie. Get out of the house for a little bit?"

"Okay," I said, almost dazed as he leaned in and kissed me. I let out a shaky breath when he pulled away, and he laughed before kissing my cheek and pulling me along behind him by the hand. After slipping on a pair of black heels, I was getting better at walking in them every day and had much better balance after almost a year of dedicated yoga training, Edward held out my coat for me as I pushed my arms through the sleeves, then guided me out to his car with a gentle hand on my back. As soon as he closed the door my mind cleared, and I scowled at him as he sat down next to me. He smiled innocently, and pulled out of the driveway.

He took me to a fancy Italian restaurant, and I ordered a pasta dish that was loaded with cheese, chicken and peppers with a glass of amazing white wine. I didn't argue with our waitress when she came over and automatically filled my glass back up when I finished. Edward talked about work easily while I ate, telling me about his replacement that he was training. Apparently the older man really didn't like him, and loathed being shown the ropes by someone that looked so much younger than him.

After she took my plate away, we sat comfortably while he held one of my hands on the table as I nursed my glass of wine. I was just watching him with a dreamy smile while I listened to his smooth voice, and I noticed right away when his expression turned a little nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly, reaching out and placing my other hand on his wrist.

He smiled. "Nothing's wrong, I just… I was thinking of giving you my present now."

I looked at him curiously, and gave him a small smile. "Why would you be nervous? You love giving me presents," I said teasingly. He laughed, relaxing slightly.

"You're right, I do," he said, eyes sparkling. "So do you mind?" Still that slightly nervous edge.

He knew that I didn't want anything from him besides his company, and that I wasn't good with the whole gift thing. The whole concept of them stressed me out. But I think my birthday was more important to him than it was to me, and I would never upset him over something like this. I hated seeing him frown; I lived to see him smile.

"Of course I don't mind," I said softly. I was curious why he didn't want to give it to me at the party that was no doubt waiting for me at Alice's house.

He smiled, and his hand that he had been hiding under the table quickly, but not _too_ quickly, put a small black box on the middle of the table before resting that hand on the table as well. It looked like it was covered in a soft velvety material with a dark violet satin bow tied around it with a thin ribbon. The box was flat, and about the size of the palm of my hand. I couldn't help looking at him nervously, and he gave me an encouraging smile.

With a slightly shaking hand I reached forward and slid the box towards myself, and ran my fingers over the soft material before I slowly tugged on the end of the bow. It unravelled easily, and I only hesitated for a moment before opening the hinged lid. Nestled inside more of the same violet satin material that was the same as the ribbon that had tied it was a beautiful heart-shaped diamond, a little bigger than a quarter. It sparkled in the light against the dark fabric, and was attached to a thin, white-gold chain. I stared at it for a long moment before lightly tracing a finger along the chain, afraid to even touch the diamond. It was probably worth more than my house.

"Edward," I whispered painfully. "This is too much. I can't."

"No," He reached forward, taking both of my hands in his before I looked up and met his eyes. "I didn't actually buy it… this belonged to my mother. When I was still… going through the change, Carlisle knew that both of my parents had just passed, and he went to my house to gather up a few things for me. My mother had a lot of trinkets like this which I still have, save for a couple things I've given to Esme, but this… I want you to have this." He gave me a small smile. "It's still and hard just like my own heart, and also like my own heart belongs only to you."

As I listened to his words, it felt like my heart had swollen to a painful size, and I stared back at him silently, my eyes quickly watering and spilling over. His face quickly changed to one of worry as he slid his chair around so that he was next to me. He took my hands quickly as my breath caught in my throat, and I started to shake as it became hard to breathe. One of his hands cupped my face, brushing away at my tears with his thumb.

"Shh, it's okay Isabella. What's wrong? I'm sorry, I should have-"

"No," I said quietly as I tried to stop myself from sobbing. "I'm sorry, it's just," I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes, staring into his purposely. "I love you Edward, I love you so much. Thank you. It's so beautiful." He smiled brilliantly, and took my face in both of his hands before kissing me firmly. He pulled away after a moment as I was having a hard time breathing enough as it was. I held onto him tightly though, barely on my chair anymore as I had to stretch over his lap, and his hands were very delicate as they smoothed up and down my back. I could easily feel his cool fingers through the thin lace covering my spine.

When I finally relaxed my hold on him, my face flushed as I sat back in my chair and realized that a few of the other diners were watching us. I swiped away my tears quickly with the linen napkin that was resting beside my plate. Edward didn't seem to notice them though as he continued to smile, and lifted the necklace out of the box.

"May I?" He asked excitedly, and I smiled as I nodded. He stood up and stepped behind me, and I watched the diamond sparkle as he lowered it in front of my face while he draped the chain around my neck and clasped it. He leaned down and kissed me softly on the back of my neck before returning to his seat, and I placed my hand gently over the cool stone that felt almost heavy just below the hollow of my throat.

"Thank you Edward," I told him again, squeezing his hands tightly. "I'll take very good care of it," I swore. He smiled, leaning forward and kissing me again before brushing away another tear. I leaned happily into his hand, forgetting about the people who were watching us with amused smiles.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" He asked gently, and I nodded against his hand. He signaled to our waitress and I quickly finished of my glass of wine. A little too quickly, I swayed slightly when I stood, but Edward automatically put a steadying hand on my back before reaching for my coat, holding it out for me as I slipped my arms through it. He threw on his coat quickly before taking my hand and leading me carefully back out to his car.

He picked out a movie for us, I didn't really care what we watched, and was just happy to lean against him as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It was only four, and a week day at that, and there were only five other people in the theater. I was still feeling a little light headed though and couldn't even feel them. It was almost six when the movie let out, and I ran to the washroom before meeting back up with Edward by the doors before we headed out to the car.

. . . . . . . . . .

Alice had gone full-out once again, this time the trees down their drive dotted with bright coloured paper lanterns. The glowing orbs looked like bubbles floating in the trees, and I smiled as Edward drove through slowly towards the house to let me admire them. As he pulled up to the front of the house they were everywhere too, making the trees around the house look like they were filled with coloured stars. There were different ones sitting on each step as we walked up the stairs of the front porch, these ones looking larger and rectangular shaped. There were little candles burning in them, and they floated in the air, tied down with thin strings that were almost invisible in the dark. I stopped to touch one, smiling as I held it in my hands, pulling it down gently and letting it float back to the height that its string allowed.

"These are so cool," I said, laughing a little. "I've always wanted to try making one." Edward was smiling back at me happily, and I forced back my sigh as he reached for the front door, holding it open for me. I walked over, and let him lead me inside.

I didn't scream this time when they all shouted out "Happy Birthday!" to me, but smiled brilliantly at the scene that awaited me. There were about a hundred of those round paper lanterns that seemed to float in the air below their high ceiling. They were all different sizes and hanging at different heights, and their soft coloured light was enough to light the room gently. It was so beautiful. The room smelt amazing too, probably from all the vases of fresh flowers that decorated the room. How did they get lilac blossoms as this time of year? Esme knew that they were my favourite, and the effort it must have taken made my chest feel tight. They were all standing around their big coffee table, smiling at me excitedly behind a beautiful cake. It was much smaller than the last one thankfully, covered in buttercream white roses, and it looked much too beautiful to eat. Rising from the center of each of the flowers on top were these thin, long candles. I'm sure that there were exactly twenty of them.

"This is so beautiful," I said thickly, trying to force my eyes not to water and leaned into Edward a bit to calm myself. "Thank you." The last words came out as more of a whisper, but I know they heard it.

"Make a wish!" Rosalie said excitedly. It wasn't like she never smiled, but I had never quite seen this sort of excited expression on her before, and it made my smile get even bigger. I walked up to the table, Edward immediately behind me, and stared at the beautiful cake again for a long moment.

Life had changed so much from the last time I did this one year ago. Our secrets had all been let out into the open, and my relationship with all of my friends had gotten so much stronger. I loved each and every one of them. And I had fallen in love again, as impossible as that was to believe. I was happy in my new life, even though I still missed my old one so much that it hurt. I missed the family that I had left behind, but I knew my going back would bring them nothing but pain. When I thought about it, I had been in Forks for less than a year, where I had been here for two, but that didn't make me care about them any less.

The point was, I was happy here, and there was only one thing that I wanted, that I desperately prayed for every day. I leaned forward and took a deep breath. _I wish that my family will be safe and happy_, I thought before blowing them all out, and I looked up at all the smiling faces of my family.

I was ushered to sit down on the couch, being squeezed tightly in between Alice and Edward who had a gentle arm wrapped around my back, his hand resting on my waist. Alice had me open hers first, and handed me the large flat box. I realized that none of the presents were actually wrapped in paper this time and smiled to myself. I gasped when I set down the lid, pulling out the beautiful pair of black and dark violet riding chaps, and a matching Jacket.

"They're beautiful!" I said wrapping my arms around her tightly, thanking her and Jasper about a hundred times. Next I opened the one from Rosalie and Emmett, it was really long, and had a lot of weight to it. I smiled grandly, lifting the long silver rifle up and dropping the box to the floor. I checked to see if the safety was on, which it wasn't. Then I snapped open the barrel, taking out the two rounds that were inside while shaking my head. Rose shot a look at Emmett at the same time I did, but he smiled back happily.

"What? I thought she might like to try it out right away," he said innocently. I laughed, testing the weight in my arms and looking down the sight out the window.

"I absolutely love it," I said happily, "Thank you." Rose let me give her a rare hug, but Emmett lifted me into his arms tightly, pulling me up off the floor. I laughed while I tried to breathe, and worried that he was going to make me rip a seam in my dress.

When he finally put me down Esme pulled me down beside her, handing me a large, flat box. I smiled before untying the ribbon, and gently set the lid down, my eyes going wide.

It was a painting of my back yard, from the view I had while standing on the edge of my porch in the late spring. All of the colours were so vibrant, catching the almost-glowing quality that the plants had when they first sprang to life, and the details were so perfect that it seemed more like a picture. I admired it for a long couple minutes, my eyes watering a little. I turned around and hugged Esme.

"It's beautiful, thank you," I whispered against her, and she squeezed me back tightly.

She cut me a piece of cake when I went to give Carlisle a hug too, and Edward pulled me into his lap when I went to sit next to him again. The cake was amazing, a rich and moist dark chocolate, and I told Esme so before quickly devouring it.

We stayed with them, playing board games and talking happily, until I could barely keep my eyes open. After Edward put my things in the car for me I thanked everyone again multiple times as they gave me more hugs before saying goodbye. I fell asleep smiling, while leaning against the cool glass of the window.

. . . . . . . . . .

I had gotten a few bids on the house, but hadn't accepted any of them yet. I'd get excited with each new offer, but Edward kept telling me to hold off, and I let them know I would consider them.

It was the middle of October, and I was hanging out at Alice's playing a game of chess with Jasper as I had yet another showing of the house. Esme came back when she was done, smiling as she handed me a piece of paper silently. I took it, and looked at the number. I started up at her in surprise, this was about five times the amount I had paid for my house. I looked over at Alice and Edward who were smiling at me.

"Do I take it?" I asked excitedly. This had to be what they had me waiting out for, almost two hundred thousand above the first bid. Someone really wanted my house, and it made me feel proud. They nodded in unison, it was a little creepy when they did that, and I laughed excitedly, jumping up and hugging Esme.

Everyone was smiling except for Jasper, who was giving me a slightly frustrated look. I leaned over the coffee table, moving my knight. "Check mate," I said happily, and ran over to hug Edward. He pulled me into his arms, kissing me firmly in front of the others as he lifted me off the ground.

. . . . . . . . . .

Everything started to move quickly then. I was selling most of my furniture to the new homeowners, everything except for my favourite reading chair, but all of my other belongings were packed up with Edward's in the big moving van he had rented. I was surprised with how much I had accumulated. I came here with two suitcases and a hiking bag, and now I had boxes of clothes, blankets, books, dishes and tools. It was nothing compared to Edward's stuff though, although he hid most of it away he was a pack rat, and had accumulated quite a few artifacts over the last hundred years. Whenever I thought about how old he was it made me laugh. Although he was probably the smartest person I had ever met, he just looked so young, and perfect.

So there I was, standing inside my pristine house, holding my tin box that once again held my past with Jacob, taking one last look around. I looked out at my beautiful backyard, I had managed to find time to prep all of the garden beds, and had even made up a list for the new tenants in case they wanted to stay on top of the maintenance it would need. I made lists off all the different types of flowers and plants, what they looked like, where they were, when they would bloom and details on the little ways to keep them healthy.

What surprised me the most is that I wasn't sad. I had poured my life into this house, and even though I enjoyed it had been nothing but something to keep my mind occupied. It was my way of coping with the pain that had controlled me, and I was happy to let it go.

I felt Edward come up behind me before he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned against his chest, smiling. I didn't need these hobbies anymore, not when I had him. Although I knew that I was going to enjoy gutting our new house as soon as we got there.

"Are you ready?" He asked gently.

I took one last minute to look around me before turning in his arms and nodding. He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss, and then I took his hand and walked to his car.

We parked at the Cullen's house, and I was surprised to find nothing packed up yet. They weren't leaving for another week though, and I guessed it wouldn't take six vampires long to pack a house, even one this big. It was late in the afternoon, so I was going to stay here tonight before we took off in the morning.

Alice appeared by my side, I felt her as she rushed down from her room when we walked up the front steps. Even though it seemed like my mind was reaching out a bit further every day, it didn't bother me as much as it used to. It still got a little over whelming in crowds sometimes though, and it was making me a little nervous about going back to school in just a couple months.

"Belle!" She sang, pulling me into a hug. I smiled when I looked at her as she let me go, she wasn't wearing her usual high heels, but was just barefoot. I had grown a little bit since I met her, and was a full inch taller than her now.

"Hey Alice," I said happily, hugging her back.

"There's supposed to be a really big thunderstorm this afternoon, and we're going to go play baseball. Will you guys come?" Her voice was so hopeful and excited.

"That sounds like fun," I said, and we both looked up at Edward and pouted. He agreed quickly, and Alice pulled me up to her room to get changed. I didn't mind the rain, I loved it actually, but I didn't want to get sick from standing out in it for too long. Alice found a nice water-proof blazer for me to wear that had a long hood, and lent me a pair of water-proof boots. I loved that we were so close in sizes, it made things like this very easy, and every article of clothing she owned was amazing.

I went down to the kitchen and raided Esme's fridge for something to eat before we left, making myself a big sandwich and inhaling a small bag of chips while sitting with Edward. Once I finished we walked outside, and I expertly hopped up onto his back, wrapping myself around him tightly as he shot off into the woods.

When he stopped about fifteen minutes later, I slid down off his back while looking around. We were still in the forest, but I could see the edges of a large clearing just past the trees not far away. It had started to rain a few minutes ago, and my hair was already quickly becoming soaked because the wind had blown my hood off while he ran. I went to walk forward to the clearing, but Edward grabbed onto my wrist and spun me around. I smiled when I saw that hungry look in his eyes. He slid an arm around my waist while his other hand slid up my throat and then brushed through my wet hair. He leaned down, and I felt him inhale deeply as the tip of his nose travelled up my throat and stopped by my ear.

"You smell even more amazing in the rain," he said, his hand still resting on the other side of my neck. I gripped onto his shirt tightly as I felt him leave a trail of kisses down my pulse. The feeling of him against my wet skin as the rain dripped down me amplified his electric touch, making my body lean into his automatically while I tilted my head back. His lips travelled up my throat, and his hand fisted in my hair. A small moan escaped my lips, loving the feeling of his tight hold, and his lips crashed against mine quickly. My arms wrapped around his neck, and as I felt one of his hands slide over my breast roughly, I gripped onto him tightly, pulling myself up and wrapping my legs around his waist pretty easily. He growled, pushing me back against a tree as his hands ducked under my coat, sliding up and gripping tightly onto my bare waist.

I was snapped out of my daze when I felt someone approaching from the clearing.

"Alice," we both cursed at the same time, sighing. He put me down gently, taking my hand and kissing it before we walked over to meet her. She had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"You were almost late," she said in an ominous voice. She gave me an odd smile seconds before a giant bolt of lightning crashed down just a few kilometers behind her. Creepy. The loud crashing sound that followed quickly seemed to vibrate through my body, making me shiver and squeeze Edward's hand a little more tightly.

Alice flashed to my side, scooping me up as Edward let go of me, and in the same second I was on the other side of the clearing as she set me down next to Esme.

"How'd the rest of your packing go?" Esme asked, pulling me into a hug. "Good," I said, scowling at Alice. She stuck her tongue out at me and was in the center of the field faster than I could blink. "Wasn't much to do when I was leaving the furniture there and all. I managed to fit all of my things in the truck with Edward's stuff surprisingly enough," I said, giving him an adoring smile. He leaned in and kissed me softly before going out and joining the others. I felt my cheeks warm when I looked back at Esme and she was smiling down at me. Emmett stepped up to bat, and I grinned.

"Just a sec," I whispered, and ducked behind Esme. He gave me a curious look. "Just in case you miss," I said smiling, while peeking around her side. I heard the others laugh, their voices carrying across the empty clearing before being drowned out by another bolt of lightning.

I loved watching them play baseball, which I found a little funny because I had never been fond of or found it interesting before. I was very much happy to just stand and watch with Esme as she refereed though. Even though I couldn't really follow them as they moved with my eyes, I still enjoyed listening to them laugh and enjoy themselves. I loved seeing everyone together and so happy like this.

Alice was up to bat once again, and I was standing just off to the side of them, maybe ten feet away. I stared in surprise as she didn't even attempt to hit at the perfect throw Jasper had given her, and Esme caught the ball in her hand with a loud crack before we both ran over to Alice's side. She had that familiar glazed look in her eyes, and Jasper had his hands on her waist before I got to her, holding her gently. Edward had his arms around me in the same moment, holding me closely to his side.

"I'm sorry, they were going to go around us, but they heard us playing and changed direction," she said, looking at Edward and I.

"Who is?" I asked quietly, since she was whispering too. I already knew the answer though. "Vampires. At least two of them. Maybe three," Edward said in a cold voice.

"Can you run?" Carlisle asked quickly.

"No. They're going to catch her scent before they even get to the field. They'll go after if I run with her." I looked up to him, and he was watching me with a guilty yet determined expression. I looked back at him confidently. I wasn't afraid, and that seemed to calm him a little. My family made a sort of casual, yet protective arc around me, with Emmett and Jasper standing in front of Edward and I.

I knew they would probably be moving really fast, so I didn't jump when the two large males sort of appeared about twenty feet away from us. They were sort of similar, both tall with lean muscles and those horrible scarlet eyes. One of them had sandy blonde hair though that was cropped short, the other with longer black hair that went down in waves almost to his shoulders. They were also both wearing very casual clothes, jeans and t-shirts, no shoes, and looking at me curiously. I stood my ground, looking back at them evenly which made them smile.

"Hello," The one with the black hair said. "My name is Laurent, and this is my friend James." His voice was polite and friendly as he looked around at my large family, his eyes flickering back to me every couple of seconds.

"Hello," Carlisle said politely, "I'm Carlisle, and this is my wife Esme. Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Isabella, Alice and Jasper." He said easily. I was too busy to look at him though, keeping an eye on the blonde vampire that was staring at me with a determined expression, his eyes flickering to Alice a few times.

"It's very nice to meet you," he said with a smile. "We heard your game and thought we'd see if you could use a couple extra players?"

I finally looked away from James when I felt someone else coming from behind us and turned around. I knew that they would have heard her, but I watched as the beautiful woman walked out of the woods. She had thick, curly hair the colour of fire, matching her crimson eyes that watched us from the tree line.

"Sorry, we were just calling it quits actually. The storm's passing over," Alice said in a calm voice

"Why do you have _that _here?" James said, and I turned to look at the sound of his voice.

"Yes, I was quite curious about that myself," Laurent asked. I tried not to lean into Edward as I felt the woman behind us come a little closer. "She looks much too comfortable to be a snack. Have you found a little pet?" His eyes travelled over my body, and I wished that I hadn't worn such a tight coat. Edward growled viciously, the noise startling me, and I put a calming hand on his arm before taking his hand in mine while trying to rein in my own anger. I thought I heard a small crackling sound, and realized I wasn't the only one when I looked over at Jasper and Rosalie, who looked around at the mysterious noise. Thunder in the distance maybe?

Laurent looked at our hands with a surprised look before he smiled.

"She is under our protection," Carlisle said firmly.

Laurent held up his hands apologetically, giving him a smile. "No offense intended Carlisle. She does smell delectable though, I don't think I've ever smelt something so sweet." He looked at me again and sighed sadly. I felt Edward's chest vibrate in anger beside me, and I pulled his arm around my waist, still holding his hand hoping I could distract him from lunging at the red-eyed vampire. I felt him take a deep breath and relax slightly. "We of course have no intention of trying to steal from you, isn't that right James?"

It happened very quickly, but I saw it. His eyes were boring into mine, and his gaze flickered angrily at Alice for a moment who had stepped in front of his view of me, but I could still see him easily over her head, until he crouched. I knew what he was going to do as she mirrored him, and my anger flared brightly inside of me.

"No!" I shouted, stepping out of Edward's hold as he held tightly onto my hand, at the same moment James sprang. There was a loud crackle as he hit an invisible wall directly in between Alice and him, and I felt a wave of exhaustion roll over me as I collapsed, Edward catching me immediately and scooping me up in his arms as James screamed. He had been thrown back, but Alice was on top of him in another second, landing on his chest and biting onto his neck. His voice cut off as I saw his head drop onto the grass. Jasper cut between her and Laurent as he lunged at Alice, knocking him back as Rosalie grabbed him and pinned him to the ground. She looked up at Edward.

"Is he safe?" She asked in a dark voice. Edward looked at him for a long moment before speaking.

"No." Rosalie smashed his head under her foot in the same moment. Everything kind of faded away, the last things I heard being the sounds of tearing metal, and Edward's voice whispering my name.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four: A New Chapter

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty Four :: A New Chapter**

**Isabella**

I woke up feeling completely exhausted, but much too hot to sleep anymore. My eyes shot open when I remembered what had happened, and I struggled to get up but was wrapped tightly in a heavy blanket, almost cocooned, and couldn't move anything besides my head.

"What the fuck," I cursed, looking around and finding Edward sitting up against the unfamiliar headboard of the bed. He was looking at me with surprised eyes. I groaned in frustration. "Why do you have me wrapped tighter than mummy?" I pouted, and wiggled around a bit more.

He quickly freed me from my sweltering prison. "I'm sorry, but you seemed cold and I didn't want you to get sick," he told me apologetically. I sat up and leaned my head back against the headboard, closing my eyes again. They just felt so heavy.

"I can't believe I fainted," I said in a groan. "I swear I was fine, I just- Sorry. I'm so sorry about that."

"Well, you didn't really faint," he said in an odd tone, and I looked over at him questioningly. "See, when you faint you usually wake up pretty quickly. You kind of just… felt asleep."

"Seriously? What time is it?" The sky outside the window was still dark.

"About four in the morning," he said with a worried smile. That was almost ten hours of sleep. I sighed, it just didn't make sense. Why was I so tired? "Isabella, do you remember what happened?"

"Yes," I said quietly, closing my eyes again. "All the way up to Rose." Her epic curb stomp, and the loud shattering of a stone head.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that. We had to do it, you wouldn't have been safe, none of us would have been if they went to the Volturi. Which they would have."

"Edward," I said quietly, but seriously. "I love you, and your family, and what you are doesn't bother me at all because of the way you live. I'm sorry, but that isn't the way I feel about other vampires. You don't need to apologize to me about destroying them." I felt him wrap his arm around me as he slid next to me, and I sighed as I felt his cool skin. I realized that I was still wearing my damp jeans and the tank top I had been wearing under my shirt yesterday. I looked up at him and gave him a curious smile. "Is this why it's so hot in your house and car all the time? Some ploy to get me to take my clothes off?" I laughed at his shocked expression, and stretched out my arms and legs in front of me.

"Who's room is this?" I asked, he still hadn't said anything, but was just staring at me with a blank expression. I smiled, and leaned in to kiss him. I felt him relax after a minute and pulled away. He smiled at me when he opened his eyes.

"Just one of the guestrooms. I brought your suitcase in though, it's in the bathroom." He pointed to the door on the left side of the room from where the bed was facing. I went to slide out of the bed, but he grabbed onto my waist and pulled me into his lap, dipping me backwards and kissing me as his hand travelled up my stomach. I smiled against his lips, and gently pushed him away. He stopped immediately of course, but looked at me with a small frown. It was adorable.

"We're not alone," I told him with a knowing look, tapping the side of my head. He dropped back onto the bed with an amused smile, and I walked across the room, stopping in the doorway. "What about the woman with the red hair?" I turned to look back at him.

"She got away," he said apologetically. "Alice doesn't see her going to the Volturi though, she's not in their good books."

I nodded, and then jumped into the shower.

. . . . . . . . . .

"What's the weather going to be like today?" I asked through the door, knowing that he was still in the same spot as I had left him. He felt even brighter in my mind today, they all did and it was a little tiring. The shower had woken me up a little though.

"Ten, cloudy, strong wind," he said back casually, speaking loudly enough for me to hear him. I blow-dried my hair, opening up the window in the bathroom as it just made it even hotter in here before tying it into a braid over my shoulder. After pulling on a pair of comfy jeans and a soft, grey cotton shirt that had very baggy sleeves and a low neck, I packed up all of my things and pulled my suitcase outside. It was only five.

"So, shall we get an early start on the road?" I asked excitedly, and he flashed to my side. He was smiling brightly, and I was happy to see that his worried look was gone.

"If you'd like to," he said, stepping closer to me as he slid his hands up my sides. "Esme is making you breakfast though if you would like to eat first." I was starving, but I was also hungry to be alone with him as he pulled me against him. He smiled, and I think he had seen that thought in my eyes. His hands slid down to my waist again, then very quickly he was holding me up against the wall. He smiled at me for a short moment before kissing me quickly, and my thighs gripped onto him automatically as he leaned into me.

And as much as I was loving it, I just couldn't push away the six other flaming sparks I could feel in my head. I was actually a little relieved when my stomach growled angrily then, because I couldn't bring myself to let go of him.

There was a much too large buffet awaiting me in the kitchen, blueberry pancakes, cut up fruit, bacon and sausages. I piled my plate high though and sat with her while she fluttered around her kitchen in blurry movements while she cleaned. After I finished she swiped my plate away from me and walked me over to the front door.

We were leaving Esme and Carlisle alone for the weekend, Emmett and Jasper were driving the moving truck down for us while Alice and Rosalie went down in my truck, carrying our bikes in the bed. They didn't have to stop to eat or sleep so they were going to beat us there, but wanted to do a quick scout of the new area before they moved. I was driving down with Edward in his car, and we were going to meet them there.

After giving everyone hugs and saying goodbye I climbed into the car with Edward and we were off, saying good bye to the town that had taken all I had left, and given me a whole new life.

. . . . . . . . . .

The day went by quickly, and I felt horrible that I slept through so much of it. Edward told me about what I had done, how I had pretty much electrocuted James when I hit him with my shield, and he told me that he was the only person who I had ever done that too before, but that it had been much more painful on James. I remembered the crackle I had heard, felt in the air, and the energy that had buzzed inside of me. I tried to explain to him how it felt.

"Do you feel this?" I asked, taking his hand. The familiar hum of electricity that I felt whenever he touched me tingled in my hand. He smiled and nodded. "I think that this was why. I was touching you and…. I don't know. I know it sounds crazy, but it felt like I used it when I threw him back."

He thought about my words carefully for a moment, and I was happy that he at least wasn't making fun of me. "I suppose it'd possible. You would know better than I do, I still don't understand how your gift works, though I do agree that it's some sort of shield." He sighed. "I'm sorry Isabella. I really wish I knew how to help with it, or that I could at least see into your head to know what you're feeling when it happens."

I squeezed his hand in mine. "Hey, this isn't your fault Edward." I wished I could reach over and kiss him, but I was strapped too tightly into my seat. "Don't try to blame yourself for this." He nodded, but didn't say anything, and I sighed softly. "Did I miss anything else after I took my nap?" I said with a grin, and saw the corner of his lip twitch up, only for a moment.

"Yes, actually. It turns out that James knew Alice."

"What? How?"

"From when she was a human. We can only guess that Alice's gift started to manifest when she was a human also, but she had been being kept in an Asylum. Electric shock therapy was all the rage at the time, and it was not rare for it to cause bad amnesia, so we think that might be why she doesn't remember anything. James had been going after her then too, but there had been another vampire working there who changed her before James could get to her. James lost interest in her after then, but killed the other vampire out of revenge. It's why she was alone." I stared at him, my mouth hanging open slightly, and he nodded. "I saw it all in his mind. He was surprised to see her in the clearing, and the thought that we might change you too before he could get you… he lost it, that's why he lunged at Alice. Because of her size he thought she was a weak link. So foolish."

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. "Is Alice okay? How did she take it?" I had barely gotten a chance to talk to her this morning, and felt terrible.

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "She's fine, though now that she knows where she had been before she woke up she plans on doing some research into it."

I nodded and made sure that I would talk to her when we were alone, it wasn't something that I would do over the phone. I wanted to give her a hug and make sure that she really was okay.

"How are you feeling today? Really?" He said, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm good, just exhausted for some reason," I told him, covering another yawn.

"Maybe that has something to do with using your shield like you did. Has it every made you tired before?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it."

"Is it any worse today?"

"No," I lied. I felt guilty, but he was stressed out enough as it was. "Are we stopping for the night or do you want to keep driving?" I asked. I felt bad for letting him drive the whole day, but I knew that I couldn't drive when my eye lids felt this heavy.

"No, I have a reservation at the same hotel as last time, we should be there in about an hour. Do you want anything to eat?"

"Sure," I said happily, and that seemed to make him smile for some reason. I told him that I didn't want anything fancy though, and got a spicy chicken burger from a fast food place at the next gas station.

I woke up again when the car stopped, and Edward carried our bags while we went in. I noticed that he scanned the parking lot a few times on the way in, and could only guess that he was worrying about that red-headed vampire still. I wasn't though, because I knew he would never let anything happen to me, and I was pretty confident that I could protect him too.

I dropped down happily on the huge bed when we got into our room. He was really spoiling me, all of these fancy hotel rooms, dinners, not to mention the house. It just seemed to make him so happy though, and I was starting to get better at not letting myself feel guilty about it.

He dropped down beside me, looking much happier than he had all day, and that fact lifted my mood even more. Grinning, I rolled on top of him before taking his face in my hands and kissing him firmly. After a minute I pulled away, sitting up on top of him and sighing. He grinned up at me happily.

"I've been waiting all day to do that," I said happily, then leaned down to kiss him again. His hands were very gentle as they rested on my shoulder blades, and when I pulled away again, he held me against him and I rested my head on his shoulder. There was something about his quiet and gentle attitude that pulled at my mind, and I felt a little worried about him even though he was smiling.

"Do you miss it? Newcastle?" I asked quietly.

"I think I will a little, so much happened there… Won't you?"

I kissed his neck gently. "No, because I brought my favourite part of there away with me," I said softly, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I was quickly on my back, Edward looking down at me seriously. I smiled up at him, and gave him a little wink. "I was talking about you," I whispered loudly, and he laughed loudly before kissing me quickly.

"I love you so much. I swear, you _will_ be safe with me. Every one of us would do anything in the world to keep you safe." His voice almost shook with the strength of his determination. I cupped his face, pushing him back just so that I could see his entire face properly.

"I know that Edward. I'm not afraid, and you shouldn't be either," I told him seriously, seeing in his eyes what had been hidden in his mind. He was doubting himself, worried that I would think it wasn't safe to be around them. They should know by now that it was the other way around. "I love you too."

He kissed me again urgently, and now I could feel his fear in his lips. I put all of my power into that kiss, pressing my body up against his, my hands gripping tightly into his hair. His arms were like a vice around me, and when I didn't pull away, stealing quick breaths in between kisses, I felt him slowly start to relax under me. I held his face in my hands when I pulled away from him slightly, and smiled lovingly at him. He gave me a small smile, and sat up straighter while he hugged me, resting his forehead against my shoulder. After a quick moment of surprise, I wrapped my arms around him gently, resting my head against his as I closed my eyes. A part of my mind thought it was curious how he could sit so comfortably like this, sitting up at a perfect right angle, and not even leaning against anything. I was comfortable leaning against him though, and felt no need to shift or move.

I must have started to drift off like that, my eyes flashing open when I felt him move me. He smiled when I looked up at him, laying me down next to him and kissing me gently. I smiled sleepily against his lips, and when he pulled away he slid one arm under my pillow and the other one around me, burying his face in my hair. I was out again in another minute.

. . . . . . . . . .

The day's drive went by quickly, even though we had gotten a late start because he didn't want to wake me up, but Edward was a fast driver and didn't have to worry about speed traps. We pulled up at the hotel before eight, not being able to go to the house until tomorrow. I told him that he could go hang out with his siblings if he wanted to, but he refused to leave me alone. So he crawled into bed with me, and just held me while I fell asleep watching TV with him, holding onto him tightly the entire time.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up before the sun did the next morning, practically vibrating with excitement. After jumping into the shower and getting dressed, I packed up my suitcase quickly and jumped back into the bed beside him.

"When can we go?" I asked impatiently, making him smile.

"The Relator isn't going to be there until ten," he said, and I sighed. "How about we go down for breakfast and drive around town for a bit to kill the time?"

"Okay," I said happily. He lifted me off the bed, kissing me before setting me down and grabbing our bags.

. . . . . . . . . .

We got to our house a little early, and the others were already waiting for us there. As soon as we walked up, Jasper looked at Edward, then at me, then back to him before he tried to hide an amused smile. I looked over at Edward who was smiling brightly, and watching me with a sort of dazed expression. I laughed, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him happily. I absolutely adored him, and the way he looked at me. I forced myself to look away though, and ran over to give Alice a hug.

"Hey," I said, squeezing her as tightly as I could.

"Hey," she said back, laughing lightly.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, leaning back and watching her face closely.

She smiled before hugging me again. "Yes, I am. It's nice knowing after eighty-six years of not knowing, you know?" I rolled my eyes at her, making her laugh again. "Thank you for asking though. This lot is beautiful."

"It has a lot of potential," I said excitedly, looking around again. I linked my arm through hers, "Want to check out the lake with me?" She nodded happily, and walked down with me easily matching my pace. "When's she going to get here?" I asked her hopefully.

"Twelve minutes," she said confidently. I thanked her and we both stopped when we reached the sand, looking down at our shoes. No way was I going to get sand on these beautiful boots.

"I can see the water fine from here," I told her suggestively, and we both laughed. It really was a beautiful view. The large lake was very still, reflecting back the images of the thin grey clouds above, and everywhere I looked were thick forests, burning brightly with the colours of the red, orange and yellow leaves of autumn. Amazing. I could feel Edward just where I had left him, but I missed him all of a sudden, and we turned around to go back up.

Like he had been feeling the same way, he pulled me gently into his arms as soon as I got close, and leaned down to kiss me softly. He pulled away carefully as he stood back up, just as I felt someone coming towards the house and I smiled up at him excitedly.

Thankfully it didn't take long at all. She gave us the deed to our house and a bunch of other documents, then handed Edward the set of keys before leaving quickly. I kind of got the feeling that she was uncomfortable for some reason. I walked up the steps quickly with Edward after she disappeared behind the first bend of the driveway. He stopped, taking my hand in his and dropping the keys into it before smiling at me. I beamed back, and quickly opened the door.

I loved it so much more undecorated. The colour of the paint was horrible, almost a pale, dirty yellow, but without all the stuffed animal heads and old cluttered furniture, all I saw was a beautiful canvas. Edward and the others quickly unloaded the truck, moving everything into the attic since there was enough room and we wouldn't be touching it for a while. I sat on the front porch, feeling guilty and trying to stay out of their way. It was entertaining to watch though, and only took them minutes.

It wasn't even eleven in the morning when everything was unpacked, but I still hadn't gone upstairs yet. I offered multiple times for them to stay, but apparently it was going to be very sunny tomorrow and they wanted to take advantage of the overcast to get back. We were standing on the front porch, my fingers entwined through his as I leaned against his arm while we watched them take off into the woods. We'd see them all in a couple of days when they moved into their house.

Edward came out to the grocery store with me while I went to pick up a couple things. I kept it light because I planned on destroying the kitchen fairly quickly, but had to pick up a few staples like toilet paper and paper towels along with garbage bags and enough food to last a couple days. I would have had no problem going by myself when it was sunny tomorrow, but Edward had just been so worried and stressed recently that I thought he would be happier if didn't go alone. It was an almost twenty minute drive into town, but an absolutely gorgeous drive down winding roads that were sheltered and hidden by the thick forests.

I shook my head, smiling a little once we got home. He just moved around so quickly, opening my door for me as soon as he cut the engine it seemed. After closing my door he was at the trunk, popping it and grabbing the groceries, then next to me in the same second that he closed the trunk. I ran up and got the door for him, and he put the bags down in the kitchen, walking next to me at a human pace once again. I put everything away quickly, then leaned against the counter once I was finished. Edward was on the other side of the kitchen, standing in front of the large window while watching me with a relaxed smile.

I smiled back as I looked at him. A very powerful feeling seemed to slowly fill me as I watched him. We were so completely alone, in our home. It was so quiet and relaxing. I had worried that it might be a little weird at first, this whole idea of living with someone like this, but it wasn't. I was just happy. So very happy. I pushed off the counter, and he stayed just where he was as I walked over to him and loosely wrapped my arms around his waist. He leaned down slowly and kissed me, his hands gently sliding down my arms.

"What would you like to do first?" He asked quietly when I pulled away.

"I think we should start breaking stuff," I said with an excited smile. He grinned, and I pulled him by the hand over to my big tool box, the only thing that had been left down on the main floor next to the front door. I pulled on my pink work gloves and grabbed my crow bar, my weapon of choice for smashing things. "Oh wait, I want to do before and after pictures first," I said, and turned to go to the stairs.

"Want me to grab your camera for you?" He asked quickly. I paused.

"Sure," I said. He disappeared, but was back in front of me in three seconds, holding out my camera for me. "Thank you," I said with a smile, and leaned up to give him a quick kiss before I started snapping pictures. I started from the front door, and took a bunch of each room as I walked through. I snapped one of Edward too while he was standing by the stairs.

"Will you show up in this?" I asked him curiously, and looked for the button that changed the mode on the camera so I could look through the pictures. I only had a second to panic and worry if that had been horribly rude before he laughed loudly, and lifted me up in his arms before he quickly kissed me. I relaxed again, and held out the camera to snap another picture, smiling against his lips.

Once he set me down again, I went and picked my crowbar back up. "Would you like to take the first hit?" I offered happily. He shook his head, dashing to pick up my camera again, and turning it back on.

"No, I would very much like for you to do the honors," he said, and I tried not to let myself be distracted by his brilliant smile. I beamed back at him, and was able to hear the faint click of the camera as I swung through the dry wall in the front room.

It was a fun yet exhausting afternoon. We listened to the music he had playing upstairs while we demolished the main floor together. I was a little jealous but very entertained by the way Edward helped destroy the walls with his bare hands. He seemed to be enjoying it too, and it went ridiculously quickly when I told him he didn't have to hold back. The main floor was now this big open rectangular room with the kitchen in the back of it, and we had torn down everything except for the bathroom just so I would still have one to use until this was all finished. I grabbed a now-cold bottle of water out of the fridge once we had taken down the last little wall that was left. I loved the two thick wooden logs that were the supports of the foundation, the only things that were left standing in the room aside from the fridge and my tool box. I sat down on the tiles by the big glass doors to the backyard, the only part of the room that looked a little clean, and drank about half of the bottle at once. Edward elegantly folded himself onto the floor beside me.

"I think we've done enough damage for one day," he said happily, and I sighed in relief.

"I agree, I don't think my arms could handle even one more swing." I took another swig of my water, and took a look at myself. I was completely filthy, covered in sweat and coated in dust from destroying dry wall. I looked over at Edward who was much better off, but still had a thick layer of dust in his hair and on his clothes. I smiled, realizing I had never actually seen him look this messy before, and loved it. I reached up and ruffled his still artfully-messy hair, releasing a cloud of dust over him. He caught my wrist easily, and pulled me into him gently before kissing me.

As amazing as his cold lips felt right now, I felt completely disgusting and pulled back after a long moment. My stomach growled angrily, and I smiled. "I'm going to make myself something to eat if you wanted to jump into the shower first," I told him, trying to stand up. I felt like my arms were going to fall off.

He was on his feet in one quick movement, and held out a hand to help me up. Grinning, I took his hand and he easily pulled me up to my feet. After telling me that he'd be quick, he leaned down to give me one more quick kiss before disappearing. I could easily feel him in the washroom though, and smiled as I walked over to the fridge and opened it up. I quickly made myself two sandwiches with the fresh bread and shaved turkey we had gotten from the deli, and wrapped them up in a paper towel as I took them outside to eat on the little wooden bench that was built into the back porch. It was already dark outside, but the clear backyard was lit up with the pale moonlight.

The view of the stars out here was amazing, and it was completely silent except for the soft sound of the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees. As I easily devoured my dinner and stared out over the lake, I just couldn't really believe that this was mine. Even though Edward had paid for it, that didn't really bother me because I knew he did it for me. For us. This was home, and it truly did feel like home.

I had finished my dinner and was leaning my head back, my eyes closed before he came outside. I opened my eyes when he came out though. He was just wearing a pair of pale jeans and a white t-shirt. The shirt wasn't tight really, but fit him perfectly as it hinted at the strong, defined muscles that were underneath it. I quickly made myself run inside before I could get distracted, straight into the bathroom since I had already seen that Edward had left my suitcase in there.

I always thought it was a bit strange using a new shower for the first time. It was nothing fancy and I planned on getting rid of it as soon as I had a replacement for it, but it felt absolutely blissful washing the thick layer of grossness off of myself. I was in there for a very long time, washing my hair multiple times and scrubbing my skin until it stung, making sure to get rid of every little spec of dirt. I braided back my wet hair once I was done, covered myself in moisturizing lotion and put on a nice clean pair of pyjamas. After rolling up the long legs of my baggy pants a little so they wouldn't catch on anything, I went out of the bathroom and it turned out to be completely unnecessary. Edward had completely cleared out all of the debris, and all that was left was a dirty, mismatched floor. I felt bad that I hadn't helped, but I know that it probably would have taken me a couple days to clear that out, and he did it in about an hour and a half. I could feel him upstairs, and made my way over to the staircase to go join him.

I stopped, stunned when I got up to the top of the stairs into the attic. Edward had told me that he had paintings, and I had seen them packaged in the back of the moving van. I hadn't really thought much of it since he had mentioned it so casually, so I hadn't been prepared for this. It was a long, almost narrow room. At the far end in front of the big window was my reading chair that I had been intending to use as a bed until I bought a new one. My quit was thrown out on it, along with all of my brightly coloured pillows and my boxes of books were stacked on one side, my tin sitting right on top. On the other side of it was a big, high-backed reading chair that I had seen at Edward's place before. It was a dark-brown leather and had an antique-looking style to it though it looked almost new. I'm glad he'd taken it; it had been my favourite piece of furniture in his house. He had many more boxes of books than I did, and also had his fancy stereo system hooked up and boxes and boxes of CDs and records. All of the boxes were neatly stacked around the room, making use of the narrow corners of the slanted ceilings, and my piano almost separated us from it all, making a little bedroom/ living room area. But leaning up against all of the boxes, creating beautiful low walls, were Edward's paintings. There were maybe about two dozen of them, all different styles and all of them masterpieces. I recognized some of the styles, and figured that a lot of them if not all of them should probably be in museums.

Edward was sitting in his high backed chair reading a thick book, a small lamp sitting on the floor next to him between our chairs. He still looked just as perfect as he had when I had left him outside, and I scorned my eyes for not being able to stay open completely. I wove around my piano as I walked across the room and shook out my quilt. It was a little chilly up here, and I wrapped it around myself. Edward quickly put down his book and pulled me into his lap, and I smiled up at him.

"I love what you did up here. It looks gorgeous," I managed to say before he kissed me.

"Thanks, Alice helped," he said quietly in between kisses. I felt his lips move to my forehead, and was having trouble opening my eyes to look at him again but smiled happily. When I felt my weight shift though my eyes did pop open, and I looked right into Edward's as he laid me down on my chair. He sat down on the edge and gave me a worried look. "Are you sure you're going to sleep okay on this?"

I smiled and stretched out along the big chair. My feet barely went over the edge. "I sleep on it all the time, I'll be fine." I leaned up and gave him one more kiss before he went and sat back in his own chair. Unfortunately there wasn't much room for him on it as well. I tightened my quilt around me, and shuffled up on to my pile of pillows before melting into them and drifting off almost instantly.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up to bright sunlight shining down on me. The room was hot, but I could feel Edward's cool body curled up against my back, his arm wrapped around me. When I slowly opened my eyes against the bright light, the gorgeous view of my backyard and the sparkling lake greeted me. Its beauty paled in comparison to the man that I rolled over to face, his smile even brighter than his shimmering skin. I closed my eyes again, smiling as I stretched, then wrapped my arms around his cool neck.

"Good morning," he said in his smooth voice. I hummed back as I felt his lips in my hair. "I hope you don't mind that I came and joined you."

"Of course not," I mumbled happily, squeezing him a bit tighter for a moment. "You can't have been very comfortable though."

"I was very comfortable, and you didn't seem like you were earlier. You kept throwing pillows at me in your sleep, I had to restrain you before you did any damage," he said, his laugh rumbling in his chest. My face burned as I looked up at him in horror; I was quite aware that I moved a lot in my sleep sometimes.

"I'm so sorry," I said, covering my face with my hands. He pulled them away easily, trapping them in his while he kissed me.

"Hey, I've survived you shooting your gun off at me, I think I can't survive a few pillows," he said with a big grin. I couldn't help smiling back a little.

"I missed you on purpose that _one_ time, and you know that very well. And giving you a warning shot does not count as shooting off at you," I said teasingly. I sat up and stretched again before getting up. Edward came down stairs with me, and we sat outside in the sun while I ate a bowl of cereal. It was nice being able to so comfortably and safely sit out here with him. Even in the sun it was still cool out in the breeze, so I went in and got dressed in some warm jeans and a black, long-sleeved cotton shirt, brushed my hair and teeth before grabbing my jacket, a sketch book and pencil, and went back out to join Edward.

I spent the whole day out there with him. He laid out a blanket on the back porch and we lied down next to each other on our stomachs in front of my sketch book. After Edward drew an exact diagram of our cleared main floor I drew out my ideas for him. He liked the idea of building a large walk-in closet under the space that the staircase made, optimizing the space and expanding the room. We were going to have a large spare room for storage on the main floor, which was good since we didn't have a garage yet. Edward said that he would build us one quickly though with Esme and Emmett's help once they came down, our vehicles were just too beautiful to be left out in the snow, which was probably not far off. We would get the driveway paved quickly for the same reason. He was completely happy with the designs I made, the only thing he wanted to add was a fireplace in the living room which I thought was an amazing idea. After we were completely decided on the blue prints, we figured out the order of what we would do everything in, then started making lists of all the materials we would need. Edward was able to give me the exact measurements of everything we would need just by looking at everything.

. . . . . . . . . .

The next day was also very sunny, and we ripped out all of the flooring before cleaning up the plain room. Edward had been piling all of our scraps neatly out front on the gravelled drive, and was going to have a company come out to remove it for us while we went shopping. After our cleanup there wasn't any more work to be done, and I fell asleep sitting in his lap while reading a book late that night.

. . . . . . . . . . 

I managed to wake up early the next day, and was a little relieved to find an over cast sky. The view was still beautiful though, I loved waking up in front of this window and seeing that amazing view. This chair was staying right here once we set up this room too.

After having a shower, getting ready and eating some breakfast, we made our way into town together and started looking at what the stores had to offer. I loved walking around with him, having my arm linked through his while we talked and shopped. We spent the entire day driving from store to store in my beautiful truck, buying wood, dry wall, plaster and paint and ordering new appliances, cabinets, furniture and flooring. We stopped and picked up a pizza for me on the way back, and Edward drove home so that I could eat on the way. I didn't mind eating in my truck, but I never felt comfortable eating in his car. The thought of spilling crumbs in there horrified me.

From then on we were constantly busy. I loved this, completely in my element and enjoying the construction even more than I had on my last house because I had Edward by my side throughout all of it. Stopping and giving me kisses whenever he went by me, playing me his favourite CDs and listening to him singing along with the most beautiful voice, or just turning around and seeing him watching me with a pleased smile. Despite my chair being a little too small for him, he still curled up with me every night and I woke up with a smile on my face every morning.

. . . . . . . . . .

Once the others came our life didn't change much. Edward seemed to get just as engrossed in the project as I had, which I found relieving because he had never really shown that much interest in one of my favourite hobbies. We always had at least one visitor a day that popped by through the woods though, and we went over to their house almost every other day to visit and take breaks, and even stayed with them for two days while the tiles in my bathroom were setting and when Edward had ripped a hole in the outside wall to build a large stone fireplace. Esme was just as busy as we were, and the others were constantly hiding out at our place just to stay out of her way.

In one month it seemed like we had an entirely new house. It was gorgeous, of course. Dark stained wood floors with clean white walls. We had done all of the tiling of the floors in a medium sandy brown, and the dark cabinets went really well with the floors. The deep green of our marble countertops was a nice splash of colour in the wide, open room, as were the coloured stones he had done the fireplace in. Our bathroom was a temple in itself, my favourite part being the huge Jacuzzi that was centered under the large window. The only entrance to it was through our bedroom, a large room that had glass double doors that slid into the walls to be opened or closed. We had a giant red couch in our living room along with a small white love seat, and Edward had his stereo set up to his new entertainment center. My piano was on the main floor too, centred in front of the bay window by the front door of the house. All along the walls that weren't occupied by windows were Edward's paintings. I insisted that he hang up as many of them as possible, I don't know why he felt like he had to hide them away. I absolutely loved his entire collection, and thought he had excellent taste.

We had just finished putting together the last piece of furniture, a huge, four-poster king-size bed that dominated the room, and we stepped back to admire it.

"I can't believe it. We're actually done," I said in surprise, looking around. It was amazing.

"Well, we still have the office upstairs. But besides that I think you're right." He picked me up quickly in his arms, and in the same second he was setting me down in the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow curiously when he opened the fridge, something I hadn't seen him do since the faithful day he had first tried to make me a salad. He pulled out a fancy-looking bottle of champagne and grinned. "The salesman said this one was good, I thought you might want to celebrate. Do you like champagne?"

"I _love_ champagne," I said with a huge smile. He grinned, popping the cork away from me carefully, and I quickly pointed him towards the sink while laughing loudly. He grabbed two glasses when I reached for the cupboard, and filled both before handing one to me. I raised an eyebrow, watching him with a curious smile before we clinked our glasses together. My eyes went wide while I took a sip and he did the same, and I almost sprayed mine out when he quickly wrinkled his nose and spat his mouthful back out into the sink. It took me a while to stop laughing after that, and I took a nice long sip to sooth my throat when I was able to breathe again.

He had sat me up on the high counter, and I smiled across at him. "It _is_ delicious Edward," I told him reassuringly. It was obvious he hadn't thought so. "Thank you."

He grinned back at me, and leaned in to give me a gentle kiss. My leg had been against his, and I felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. I drank my champagne, just smiling thinking those words in my head, while he read the text message he had gotten.

"Alice and Rose are coming over with the guys, apparently they had to flee the house and leave Carlisle and Esme alone," he said with an uncomfortable face as he read the words aloud. I laughed, and smoothed my thumb over one of the dark circles under his eyes.

"Maybe you should go out and get something to eat with them," I told him, giving him a concerned look. It didn't make me uncomfortable like it had before when his eyes went dark like this, but I didn't like seeing him suffer. He needed to start getting used to leaving me alone more though, we'd be starting school in another month and he wouldn't be able to be by my side the entire time.

He told me that he'd just go out for about an hour, just something quick and met up outside with them a minute later. I used my time to grab a quick shower and get changed, throwing on a black skirt and a grey silk top, knowing I'd be very warm if we were hiding out here all day in front of the fire. It had started snowing last week, only two days after they had finished building our detached three-car garage. Our bikes and his car were now safely tucked away along with my truck. Once I was dressed I took a few minutes to make up the new bed before going out to the kitchen. The sheets I had picked out with Alice the other day felt amazing.

I had just poured myself a second glass and was washing some grapes when I felt the five of them walk onto the property. They always walked slowly when they got close to the house just for that reason; so I would know who was coming. They still had had no luck finding the red-haired vampire woman, but hadn't forgotten about her in the slightest. I was so familiar with the feeling of each of them in my mind now that it was easy to immediately identify each one of them, and could feel them if they were anywhere in our yard. They all came in through the back door and Edward dashed over to kiss me quickly, one arm filled with a load of firewood. I walked with them into the living room, folding my legs under me as I sat down in the corner of the loveseat closest to the fireplace. Edward dropped down next to me after he had it lit.

It was a relaxing afternoon. I was just so used to this now, sitting around with them, hanging out comfortably and not really doing all that much. They watched TV and talked, and I laid out on the rug in front of the fire place across from Jasper while we played a game of chess. By the time I got up to make myself a late dinner my head was slightly spinning, but felt much better after I ate. It got way too hot in front of the fire, and I happily curled up next to Edward as soon as we finished. He draped his heavy arm over my shoulder comfortably as he continued to argue with Emmett. I had no idea what they were talking about really, I hadn't been paying attention, but I just loved listening to the sound of his voice. It was very rare that I ever saw an irritated look on his face and I watched him with a smile, thinking he looked very handsome even when he was angry. He noticed that I was smiling at him after a couple of minutes, I saw his gaze flicker to me out of the corner of his eye, and a slow smile seemed to sneak onto his face as they continued to talk. It really softened his expression, which made him look even better. I leaned into him a little bit, and his arm slid down and slowly wrapped around my waist. His hand was resting on my stomach, and I slid my fingers through his, slowly tracing over his incredibly smooth skin with my fingertips and making them tingle with his buzzing electricity.

I took a peek over at the clock, and was surprised by how late it was. My sleeping schedule was getting a little bit more messed up every day. We weren't going on anyone's schedule except for our own right now, it had been that way ever since we moved here, and I hadn't even unpacked my alarm clock until this morning. Edward never woke me up, _never_. Not except for the times I had fallen asleep in the car, but it was more him moving me and trying _not_ to wake me up that did it. He apparently just couldn't bring himself to do it, happy to let me sleep however long my body wanted to, so I had been sleeping in a little later and therefore staying up a bit later each day. I still had plenty of time to fix that before I had to adjust to a new schedule for school. I still thought it was weird to be so awake at three in the morning though, especially when the people around me showed no sign of wanting to retire for the evening.

I had no desire to go to sleep, although I did like the fact that I would be doing so in an actual bed tonight. Even though I wasn't tired, I wouldn't mind being alone in our house again. I shifted slightly in my seat, picking my glass up off the table and sliding my hand onto Edward's thigh as I sat back again. He quickly pulled me onto his lap, and I smiled as I took a small sip of my drink. He wrapped one arm around my waist and supported my back while resting the other one on the calf of my leg. I adjusted myself on his lap slightly to get more comfortable, and leaned into him when he squeezed onto me tightly for a moment.

Jasper got up soon after, saying that the coast should be clear to head back and I made sure to hide my relief. They left fairly quickly, and Edward didn't let me leave his lap to say goodbye. When Rose closed the door, I took the last sip of my drink, leaning over on Edward's lap to put the empty glass on the floor, and turned around to face him as I sat back again. I leaned into him, sliding my hands over his broad shoulders as his arm wrapped around my waist again.

"Are you tired?" he asked quietly, brushing my wavy hair behind my ear.

"Not at all," I said, smiling up at him. The corner of his mouth twitched up, and he pulled me a little closer to him. My body was humming excitedly as my lips hovered an inch away from his and I stared deeply into his bright golden eyes.

"Good. I was starting to worry that they would never leave," he said in a deep whisper, his sweet breath washing over my face. I closed my eyes as I inhaled and his lips quickly met mine. I wrapped my arms around him as he leaned me back against the arm of the couch, and then his large hand travelled down the side of my body very slowly. I melted under his touch, he felt so good that I knew this couldn't be real. This had to be some sort of dream.

But when I opened my eyes, and saw his open and looking back at me, the details were just too real, too perfect to have been created by my subconscious.

He smiled back at me, his arm leaving my back as he reached up and brushed away my hair again, leaving his hand on my cheek. "I love you Isabella, more than anything in the world," he said in a clear, strong voice. My chest felt really tight, but I didn't let my eyes water.

"I love you too," I told him back surely. I was very sure about that; no matter what would happen in a few years, right now I wouldn't change a thing. I would not take this second chance at happiness for granted, even for a second.

. . . . . . . . . .

And I didn't. An entire month seemed to go by in the blink of an eye unfortunately, but I adored and cherished every moment of it. I was so happy here with him in our beautiful little home. The snow piled up quickly, and by the time Christmas came it was almost up to the windows of our cabin and the view was absolutely stunning. The lake looked completely frozen over, though I had no desire to actually find out if that was true. The only times I ever really went further than to fill the bird feeders in the backyard was to buy food and go over to the Cullens' house. We spent our days reading and talking, playing games, watching movies, listening to music, playing the piano and spending time with his family.

Most importantly though, we were just together, and there was nothing else in this world that could make me happier than that. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror as I pinned back my hair in an elegant knot on the back of my head. It was hard to believe that I'd been with Edward for an entire year now; it felt like only days had passed since I first kissed him on my piano bench.

I walked out of the bathroom over to our big closet, and picked out a grey cashmere sweater dress that I had been saving for a special occasion. It fit me absolutely perfectly even though it was a little short, and the material felt like water on my skin. After carefully slipping it on, I went over to my jewelry box on the shelf by the full-length mirror, and put on a pair of dangly silver earrings and my beautiful diamond necklace. They went together perfectly with the dress.

I could feel Edward upstairs, and when I went up to let him know I was ready I found him in his reading chair by the window, a thick textbook opened in his lap. Once we had moved here his wardrobe had changed, he was pretending to be my age here and stuck with jeans and casual shirts most of the time. Today he was wearing a white dress shirt and a pair of black dress pants though with a matching coat, and I smiled when I saw he was wearing the tie I had made him last year.

He looked up when I got to the top of the stairs, and was in front of me in the same second. I reached out and ran my fingers down his tie, grinning.

"I'm ready to go when you are," I told him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He looked down at me for a long moment, his eyes travelling from mine all the way down to my toes and back before scooping me up in his arms and dropping into his big chair. "I'm definitely not ready to go yet," he said, pulling me against his chest and kissing me. I caught his hand before it snaked up into my hair.

"No, it took me forever it get it to look like this," I mumbled teasingly against his lips. He laughed, and when his hand went down to my leg and started sliding past the edge of my skirt I caught him again, laughing loudly. He held up his hands in surrender and leaned back in his chair, letting me get up and smooth out my dress before it could wrinkle.

He was giving me a strange look when I looked up again, and there was something about it that made me feel sad. I automatically moved closer to him, and he stared at me for another long moment before placing his hands on my hips, and gently pulling me forward as he rested his head against my stomach.

Edward was an easy person for me to read, always had been. I knew that sometimes it was very hard for him, the way time was passing, and I hated that I never knew what to say to make him feel better. I just wrapped my arms gently around his head, holding him there, and his arms wrapped around me tightly. I didn't care about wrinkles in my dress anymore, I'd stand here and hold him as long as he needed me to, up until my last breath if he wanted me to.

When he did pull away and look at me a while later, I took his face tightly in my hands and kissed him fiercely. I tried to say everything with that kiss that I couldn't put into words. How sorry I was that I couldn't give him more, and how that had nothing to do with how much I loved him. I loved Edward more than he could ever imagine.

I saw in his eyes once I pulled away that he knew that, and I think he felt even worse about the fact of wanting to change me. I knew about the long, painful process of becoming like they were, and that Edward would never actually want to put me through that. He worried enough when I just got headaches, the doctor side of him always running out of control.

"Hey, let's just get this out of the way, and then we can come home sooner," I said gently, still holding his face. I gave him an encouraging smile, "And you're not getting your present until we get back," I told him teasingly. A curious smile spread across his face; I was the only person in their lives that was able to keep secrets like this, and I knew it drove him crazy.

"Fine, then you're not either," he said easily. He stood up, and leaned down to give me one more kiss before leading me downstairs. He loaded up the truck while I put on my coat and boots, and walked me back down to the truck which he had pulled into the driveway. Even though the steps and driveway were perfectly cleared and salted I still managed to trip, and was glad for his proximity. I let him drive just to ease his nerves. It was Christmas, and I was feeling nice.

. . . . . . . . . .

We stayed over for a few hours, and I filled up on Esme's cookies and a bottle of wine she had gotten just for me. Edward kept a smile on his face the entire time, but I could tell just by the way he held me that it was only for show. He stayed close to me the entire night, even when I spent an hour in the garage with Rose while she showed me the gorgeous new corvette that Emmett had gotten her. It looked amazing parked next to her BMW, and was the same shiny, bright red.

. . . . . . . . . .

Edward didn't seem to start to relax until we were on the road heading home. I liked that we had been using my truck mostly since it had snowed. Who needed a seatbelt when you had the strong arm of a vampire holding you closely to his side? Though it was only a five minute run from our house to theirs, it was about a half hour drive. With the heat cranked up though, listening to the quiet radio and watching the magical landscape it felt like the drive had gone by in only minutes. Edward smiled as he scooped me up into his arms, and dashed up to the house so fast that a single snowflake didn't touch me.

I held onto his arm to steady myself as I pulled off my boots, and when I let him go he started a fire to warm up the cool house. I slid on my slippers and dashed upstairs to grab his hidden present, and grabbed the throw off the back of the couch, wrapping myself up in it before grabbing a glass of water and sitting down.

The fire was roaring, and the heat it was throwing off made the skin on my face tingle. Edward came and joined me quickly, and had taken off his jacket and loosened his tie. His hand was hiding behind his back and he was grinning excitedly at me. I smiled back nervously; Alice couldn't see what his reaction to my gift would be.

"Do you want to go first or do you want me to?" He asked.

"You pick." I was surprised by how calm my voice came out. His hand quickly shot out from behind his back, and he held out a small black box wrapped in silver paper and a violet bow. I smiled in relief, preferring to even open a gift if it would mean procrastinating on giving him his for a while longer. He seemed to like my enthusiasm, and watched me closely while I opened it. There was a big silver key in it. I gave him a curious look.

He stood up, pulling me with him, and tossed me over his shoulder. In two seconds, he was sitting me down in the garage, and I turned around and collapsed.

Parked in between his Aston Martin and my 53' Chevy was a sparkling silver Ferrari. He caught me quickly, and held me steady as I just stared silently while admiring it. I looked down at the key I was clutching in my hand, then up at the car again before staring back at him. He was watching me with a pleased smile.

"You didn't," I whispered accusingly.

"Oh, I did," he told me in a teasing tone. He placed a hand on the small of my back and led me towards it, then leaned down to open the door for me. I took my chance while I had it, my arms shooting around his neck and kissing him very firmly. He straightened up quickly in surprise, but my hold was so tight that he just pulled me up with him. His arms wrapped around me, and when I released his lips he gently lowered me to the ground.

"She's beautiful Edward, thank you." I gave him a look that also told him just how ridiculously over the top it was too, but he knew that I would never be rude enough to refuse a gift. A fact that he was taking advantage of. It was hard to get mad though when it made him so obviously happy. He didn't have to persuade me much to get in and start her up, and a tear rolled down my face when her beautiful growl filled our garage.

"You probably won't be able to drive her for a while with the snow though, sorry," he said sadly. He was completely right of course, I would never subject this beauty to a Canadian winter. We stayed in there until I started to shiver, and Edward turned up the heat as we went back into the house. I was debating on asking him to carry the bed into the garage so I could sleep there instead.

I was even more reluctant to give him the gift now, there was no way something could compare to that. And I was even more worried about upsetting him now. He gave me another curious look, still smiling.

"Why are you so nervous?" He asked. "You know I'd love anything you gave me."

"I'm just… thinking that I might not have thought this through all the way, and I'm afraid to upset you."

He laughed. "You could never upset me Isabella."

That was wrong, I was aware that I did it to him quite often. I didn't say anything, and slid the parcel around from behind me. He took it gently, easily lifting its heavy weight, and I watched his face carefully as he delicately tore open the white and red paper.

He froze completely. He didn't move for a few minutes, just staring at the painting I had found with wide eyes. I was panicking, but didn't know what to say except for sorry, which wasn't enough.

"How did you get this?" He asked quietly, his eyes finally looking away from the painting and at me. It took me a minute to find my voice.

"I did some research after you told me about your family just out of curiosity a while back, and found that the country club that your parents were a part of still existed. I guess your mother was an important member, because they had that painting of her there. I saw the resemblance immediately, and didn't take no for an answer." He watched me for another long moment, and I felt like I was going to be sick. "I'm sorry, that was really insensitive of me, I shouldn't have-"

He silenced me with his lips, pinning me against the back of the couch. I held onto him, intensely relieved. He pulled back, staring closely into my eyes as he spoke. "It's amazing Isabella. I can't believe this even existed, let alone that you found it. I don't know how to thank you."

"You just did," I said happily, smiling up at him. "Besides, it's no Ferrari." He shook his head before kissing me again, and my arms wrapped around him.

This was the Edward that I had missed today. I would never say it, but it scared me when I saw him scared. I wanted to keep him smiling like this, to always be happy like this. He let me move when I pushed into him, but I never let my lips leave his. I leaned him back against the couch, moving on top of him. His hands firmly held onto my waist, and as my arms slid onto his shoulders I pushed myself up, making him tilt his head back with my leverage. I slid my hands up his throat while I leaned my body into his, and his grip tightened before his hands slid up my back then down my legs.

I jumped slightly when I felt his cold hands touch the skin on the backs of my thighs, but he didn't hesitate in sliding them under my dress, his fingers hoveringly momentarily over the lace of my underwear before stopping on my ribs. I leaned back slightly, and he watched me carefully for a moment before smoothly slipping my dress over my head, and dropping in on the floor.

I grinned when his eyes went wide, taking in the vibrant red lingerie I was wearing. I pulled the clip out of my bun, dropping it on the couch and shaking out my hair.

"Wow," he said, a little loudly. I laughed.

"Merry Christmas," I said, leaning back into him and pulling off his tie. I felt his chest vibrate under my hands, and I laughed loudly as he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder again. He walked over to the bedroom at a human pace, his hand resting teasingly on my behind, before throwing me back down on our giant bed. I bounced twice and watched him pull his shirt over his head, and ducked out of the way when he jumped towards me. That seemed to surprise him for a moment, but I quickly pushed him onto his back, jumping on top of him again. His hands explored my body while mine traced over the individual muscles of his stomach, slowly making my way down to his belt. I undid it quickly, pulling it out and tossing it onto the floor.

Though it was rare that we were ever not touching each other in some way when we were together, we really didn't have a very physical relationship. It was more of an intellectual one, but we had gone a little further than our heated kisses a few times. I never felt pressured into doing anything with Edward though. Everything I did, I did because I wanted to, but I was a little more confident in the knowledge that he did really enjoy it too. I had been thinking about moving our relationship to the next level though, but I just wasn't sure if I was ready to give myself so completely to him yet. Though I loved him completely and wanted to be as close as possible to him in every way, I was still a little afraid.

It was easy to forget about that fear when he was touching me like this though. My body was tingling, burning under his cold fingers. At first his hold tightened on me as I started to shift down his body, but loosened again as he relaxed under my touch. When his hands slid down my waist and fisted into the sheets, I slowly slid myself down him, and he swore, his eyebrows furrowing, as I traced my tongue gently around his tip, then took his cold hardness into my mouth.

I knew he was close, and when I looked up at him, I found him watching me. I smiled up at him while he was still in my mouth, and he threw his head back in a moan as he came. I started kissing the hard muscles along his stomach, god I would never tire of feeling them under my hands, when I was suddenly on my back again, my head sinking back in the piles of pillows. I smiled up at Edward, and went to reach for him, but he grabbed both of my wrists, pinning them down above my head as his lips crushed against mine. As his lips moved along my jaw his hands slowly slid down my arms, and I melted into my pillows. He was very careful with me, even more so than usual, but his slow movements and gentle touch just made the feeling of him that much more intense. When he slid his hands under my shoulders, pulling me up as his lips brushed against my collarbone, his agile fingers easily unclasped my bra. He smiled down at me, his eyes shining brightly as he slowly pulled it off, then leaned me back down on the bed as his hands slid down my body. When he got to my hips the tips of his finger hooked under the waist of my panties, and I lifted my hips for him to slide them down.

I loved watching his face, he so clearly showed every bit of his enjoyment in his piercing eyes and crooked smirk. I sighed as he leaned over me, sliding a hand under my back as his lips traveled up my stomach. He hesitated though just over my heart, and it fluttered when he turned his head gently, sliding his cheek against my chest and resting his ear over my heart.

The action was just so tender, so loving that it made my chest hurt, and I felt my eyes start to sting. I closed them tightly as I slid my hands gently into his soft hair, and just held him while he listened to it for a few minutes. It didn't slow in the slightest though, his cold breath blowing against my breast making my skin tingle.

When he leaned up and smiled at me, my face mirrored his. I slid my hands down to his face. His cheek that had been against my skin felt almost warm actually, and his hand slid over mine.

He leaned back on his knees, both of his hands sliding under my back and pulling me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding myself against him while I kissed him hungrily. I loved the bit of pressure he put into his hands as they slid from my shoulders all the way down to my hips. I gripped onto him tightly with my thighs when he pulled my hips into him, and the movement opened myself to him. One of his hands cupped just below my bottom, holding me against him as his other hand slid between me, and he slowly pushed two of his fingers inside of me. I gasped against Edward's lips, clinging to him fiercely while he pushed them deep, and just held me for a moment. My body clenched around him, and I whimpered before shifting myself around him.

Then he moved quickly, very quickly, and within minutes he had me panting against his neck, trembling against him as I desperately clung to him. When I shouted out and my body melted against his, his arms were so gentle as they wrapped around me, and he laid us on our sides on the bed while he held me. I would have drowned in the heat if it hadn't been for his cool stomach against mine and his large hands resting on my back.

I would never tire of this, of him. I would never want him to let go of me, and I think the knowledge that I couldn't allow myself an eternity with him hurt me more now than it did him. Even forever wouldn't be long enough to show him how much I loved him.

**Thanks for reading!**


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five: Timed

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty Five :: Timed**

**Isabella**

"Isabella?" I could hear the smile in his voice as he called through the bathroom door. I knew I must have been in here forever, trying out the new flat iron that Alice had gotten me for Christmas after blow-drying my hair. My arms already felt like they were going to fall off, I don't know how I was going to carry my laptop and textbooks around all day.

"I'm almost done," I told him for the third time. He was much too patient with me.

"Okay, we should leave in half an hour though or you're going to be late."

"Okay," I said sweetly, glad that I had at least already packed my bag. I unplugged the straightener, setting it out on the counter to cool as I brushed my hair one more time. I was very pleased with the result, although my hair was getting much too long. I ran over to my closet in a giant fluffy towel, and carefully yet quickly picked out something to wear. I settled for a pair of nice black jeans and a long, soft purple shirt that had long sleeves. I was tempted to put on my diamond necklace, but I would never forgive myself if I had lost it. So I just put in a pair of silver hoop earrings and pulled on some socks quickly before running out to the kitchen and finding something to eat.

I felt Edward behind me as I opened up the fridge and poured some milk into my cereal. I turned around, facing him as I leaned back against the counter and ate quickly. I stopped when I noticed the unease in his eyes. "What?" I asked worriedly. "Is it that bad? Should I change?" I was way too nervous, and the sound of his musical laugh calmed me a little.

"Not, it doesn't look _bad_. You look absolutely stunning, that's what worries me." I raised an eye brow at him, leaning back again and trying to finish my breakfast. "How am I ever going to leave you alone in a school filled with young men? It will kill me," he said dramatically, and I rolled my eyes as I rinsed out my bowl. He caught me easily, and set me up on the counter. "Maybe you should bring that bottle of pepper spray from your desk, just in case."

I laughed, and shook my head before giving him a quick kiss and pushing past him as I slid back down. He could worry in the car, I didn't have time for this right now. "Wouldn't do any good, the thing is empty," I told him teasingly.

"Why do you have an empty can of pepper spray?" He asked curiously, following me to the front closet as I grabbed my coat.

"It has sentimental value," I said with a smile. I could never bring myself to get rid of it. Even though Charlie had only been in my life for nine short months those few years ago, I still considered him my father more than my actual one, and I cherished every small memento of him that I had.

"Did _you_ empty it?" He asked in a horrified voice, holding onto me tightly. I sighed.

"You worry too much Edward," I said easily, not wanting to actually tell him the truth. Nothing had really happened besides me breaking my own hand, and there really wasn't any point in telling him the story. He seemed to take my words as a denial though, and relaxed. I held onto his arm as I slipped on my boots, then picked up my back pack off of the floor. God it was heavy, and I was tired already.

He walked me out to the truck, and I let him drive since I could barely see through the snow. It was just over a half hour drive to the university, and we spent the time going over our schedules for the day. I had a one hour break at two in the afternoon that he also had off, and he told me that he'd meet me outside of my class so we could grab lunch together.

I felt bad that he came in so early just to drive me, he didn't have his first class for another two hours, but he insisted that we go together. We also agreed that we'd just share my truck until spring, not wanting to drive either of our cars through the salt and slush and not having any more room in our garage for another vehicle. I wrapped my favourite scarf tightly around my neck and slipped on my gloves once we parked, and automatically took Edward's hand as he walked me across campus to my building. He helped me find the classroom up on the third floor, and I hesitated in the doorway.

It had been a long time since I had spent a whole six hours away from him, and I didn't even feel ridiculous about how sad I was to leave him because I saw the exact same thing in his eyes. I also saw that his eyes flickered inside of the room a couple of times, and an irritated look passed briefly over his face. Before I could turn around to look, he gave me a dazzling smile and my mind was emptied of any other thought as he pulled me into his arms, leaning in and kissing me firmly. I melted in his arms, going dizzy as I forgot to breathe, and held onto him tightly when he pulled away slowly. He gave me one more quick, much more gentle kiss before wishing me luck and walking away down the hall. I watched him for a few seconds before turning around and taking the first seat I found with a dazed smile.

My first two classes went by easily, though I'd had a bit of trouble finding the second. I'd had a two hour break in between them though, so at least I'd had plenty of time to look, and even went to the book store to pick up the few books that I needed for my course that I knew we didn't have at the house. Both classes were very light, spending most of the time going over the course outlines and materials that we'd be covering. The rooms were packed though, the same with the halls, the bathrooms, everywhere I went was constantly busy and crowded with people and my head was throbbing. I had gotten too used to hiding away in our quiet haven by the lake, and spending my time with no more than seven other people. When we were let out of my second class fifteen minutes early, Edward was casually leaning against the wall outside. I smiled excitedly and ran over to him, and he kissed me quickly as he wrapped me in his arms. His touch seemed to make everything around me disappear, and the relief of the calmness was intoxicating. I smiled up at him when I leaned away, determined not to let my migraine ruin my one hour with him.

"How was your class?" I asked him curiously, and he wove his fingers through mine before leading me down the hall.

"Dreadfully boring, and _loud_," he said with a smile. "I've gotten too comfortable hiding away in the woods with you." Well at least I wasn't the only one. "How were your two? How are you feeling?" His eyes were filled with concern, and I smiled back easily at him.

"I'm fine, but they sound like they went just like yours did," I told him lightly. His face relaxed again and he wrapped an arm around me as he led me to the cafeteria. I really didn't have much of an appetite, my migraine making me just a little bit nauseous, but I forced myself to eat so he wouldn't worry. I showed him all the books that I had gotten, and checked with him to make sure we really did have the others at home. We had our own little library in our attic office, Edward had had hundreds of books, and there was no way I could ever remember the names of all of them. I only had one class left, but he had two back to back, and I told him that I would find his last one and meet him there when he finished.

After my last class finished, I walked out to the truck to drop off my things. My shoulders were killing me, and I decided to just sit in there for an hour to read. It was much quieter out here in the snowing parking lot, but I still had a hard time concentrating with the traffic that was passing through it. It started getting pretty cold though, so I stuffed my book into my purse and made my way over to Edward's building. There was an empty classroom next to his, and I ducked inside and waited there until his class let out.

He was the first person out of the room when it let out, and he quickly ducked inside before I even had time to close my book. I stuffed it in my purse as I got up and walked over to meet him. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long," he said, cupping my face as he leaned down to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"I didn't mind at all, I have plenty of reading to keep me busy," I told him easily. He grinned down at me, and we quickly made our way back to the truck so we could go home. As soon as we were out of the busy part of town, I clicked off my seat-belt, and he automatically lifted his arm so I could curl into his side. My mind finally relaxed, and my headache started to dissolve away as he told me all about his afternoon classes excitedly. I smiled and nodded even though I really had no idea what he was talking about.

Even though I didn't actually have any assigned homework yet, he did. I knew it wouldn't take him long to do any of it really, but I took the time to give him some quiet in the study while I made myself some dinner and took a long shower. When I came out in my pyjamas, my hair still wrapped up in a towel as I carried out a load of laundry, Edward was lying in bed reading a book. He smiled up at me when I came in, and I quickly went and threw in my load of clothes so I could join him.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked, dropping down beside him with my own book. His looked familiar.

"It's one of the one's you picked up today," he said with a sheepish grin, turning the cover for me to look. "I hope you don't mind, I haven't read it before."

"I don't mind at all," I said happily, leaning in and giving him a soft kiss. "Just don't tell me what happens."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said happily, and sat up while he wrapped his arm around me. I curled into his side, opening up my book to where I had left off earlier, and we spent the night together in peaceful silence while we read. When my eye lids started to get heavy, he flicked off the light, curling up behind me and propping his book open in front of me with the arm that was draped over my side.

"I don't mind if you want to keep the light on," I said sleepily, relaxing in his arms.

"I can read it just as easily in the dark," he told me softly, kissing my cheek. I drifted off listening to the sound of his breathing and the occasional soft rustling of him turning the page in his book.

. . . . . . . . . .

Our lives changed so much and so quickly. After our first week of classes I was constantly busy. I loved it though, even with the constant migraines and not getting to spend as much time with Edward as I wanted to. When we weren't at school I was in our study, buried in a pile of books and papers. Edward was always close by though. We each had our own side of the room, our desks and shelves mirroring the other's, and even though it didn't take nearly as much time for him to do his school work he was always up there with me. His company wasn't even distracting, I found it easier to concentrate when he was close to me actually, so this is where I got my most productive work done.

I really had missed this though. School had been the best part of my life, my favourite part of life for a long time. What had started off as a desperate attempt to gain my father's approval when I was eight years old had turned into my passion and only escape, and the only thing that had managed to finally distract me from it had been the loss of my last family. I was grateful for Edward to have encouraged me to return to it. And this was so much more enjoyable than high school had ever been. I was only studying what I wanted to now. The materials were new and challenging, and my mind drank in the new knowledge like a thirsty sponge. I fell asleep with my face in a book most nights, but always woke up in our luxurious bed, wrapped in Edward's arms.

. . . . . . . . . .

Midterms had been a breeze. I loved being able to work at my own pace, I had the entire course's materials at my disposal and had gotten pretty far ahead of where I needed to be. The snow was finally starting to melt away, and I was going to take the entire week off from studying until classes started back up again. I was so glad for this break too, I was just so tired all the time lately. The constant work load and headaches had been wearing me down.

"How'd it go?" Edward asked, waiting for me outside of my last exam. He had finished his yesterday.

"Piece of cake," I told him happily, stretching before I pulled on my coat and tried to cover up a yawn.

"I told you they would be," he said teasingly. When I looked up at him though his eyes looked a little worried. "Are you feeling okay?" His hands delicately rested on my hips, and my body automatically leaned towards him a little. "You seem like you've lost a bit of weight," his voice was thick with concern, and I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, just exhausted," I told him. "I'm sorry, but I plan on sleeping for an entire day at least when we get home," I said with a laugh. He seemed to relax at the sound, and entwined his fingers through mine as we walked out to the truck.

"Has Alice said when the snow will be gone?" I asked longingly when we parked in the garage. My beautiful present was still sitting un-driven in her spot, though I sat in her for a few minutes almost every day and carefully washed her every Saturday.

"Just three more weeks and the roads will be dry," he said knowingly, kissing the top of my head. I walked inside with him, and took a nice long shower as soon as we got in, washing the last little bit of stress off of me. I threw on a pair of soft, comfy pajamas and did exactly what I said I was going to, turning off the lights and sliding underneath the blankets of the bed. Edward joined me of course, laying down beside me quietly with a book in his hand.

. . . . . . . . . .

"I didn't think you were serious," he said when I woke up, rolling over and wrapping my arms around his waist as I rested my face against his stomach.

"What are you talking about?" I asked groggily, my voice muffled by his sweater.

"You've been asleep for nearly nineteen hours," he said gently.

"Sorry," I said quietly. "Were you here the entire time?"

"I had to protect you from Alice," he said lightly. "She misses you."

I looked up at him, propping my chin up on his stomach. "Thank you for protecting me," I said with a smile. "I miss her too, all of them. Do you want to go visit?"

He shook his head. "Tomorrow?"

"Okay." I stretched against him, and laid my head down again. "What do you want to do tonight?"

He insisted on taking me out for dinner, and I made myself get up and get dressed. My hair was absolutely crazy, and I had to smooth it back with water before putting it into a pony tail. We went out to a comfortable restaurant, and I ordered a big steak and fries for dinner. Edward got a pig pasta plate that I stole a few bites from. It was easy to move around to make it look like he ate, and we took the rest to go along with big slice each of cheese cake and chocolate cake. He pressured me into eating one of them when we got home, and I almost felt sick afterwards. I _had_ lost a few pounds though, and I felt guilty that that scared him so much, so I forced it down and fell asleep on the couch with him again while watching TV.

. . . . . . . . . .

The week went by too quickly. We spent a lot of it with his family, and I never got over how weird it was hearing about their lives in high school. The youngest one of them was Emmett, and he was seventy-two years older than me. Both Edward and Esme seemed determined to try and make me fat, cooking for me and taking me out for breakfasts and dinners every day. Luckily Edward didn't try to cook for me at least, and I found it a little comforting that there was at least one thing he wasn't good at. It was nice having time to play my piano again too, I had really missed it, and Edward had taught me an actual song that we could play together. I didn't take a step into our office for the entire week.

The break away from school just made going back that much harder. It felt like my head started to hurt a little bit more each day. I had started hiding my tooth brush in my purse because sometimes the migraines got so bad that they made me sick. It had only been a few months though, and I was sure that I would start getting more used to it if I just held out long enough.

I was fine when I was with Edward though, and once I was in his arms it was easy to push all of it out of my mind. I didn't have to fake my smiles when I was around him, they came naturally to me when I looked at him.

Today was the worst it had ever been though, the stress intensified by my anxiety as I sat, shaking nervously while I awaited my turn to present an oral report in front of the class of almost eighty people. This had always been my least favourite part of school, public speaking, but I knew that if I ever did want to become a teacher then it was something I'd have to get used to.

The Professor called my name, and I grabbed my cards as I stumbled down to the front of the class. The room was practically spinning around me as I spoke, but I was happy that at least my voice sounded steady and calm. My pulse was thudding in my ears though, and I could feel myself starting to sweat a little. Then the weirdest thing happened.

My body started to feel a little cold, and I cringed, stumbling back against the blackboard as I dropped my notes cards. I clutched at my head when a piercing pain shot through my skull, and everything went completely black around me.

. . . . . . . . . . 

I woke up to a faint beeping noise, my head pounding as I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying back in a private hospital room, an IV in my arm and Edward staring down at me. One of his hands was combing through my hair, his other clutching onto one of my hands.

"What happened?" I whispered. I didn't understand what was going on, the last thing I remembered being standing in front of my class. My heart fluttered painfully when I saw the agonized look in his face as he tried to speak, but no words came out.

Carlisle quickly came into the room though, and I looked at him in confusion as he closed the door carefully behind him. I could feel Alice and Esme outside of my room, and my heart rate started to rise, my machine beeping faster as I started to panic. "Carlisle? What's going on?"

"Isabella, you blacked out at school yesterday," he said gently, sitting down on the second chair that was beside my bed.

"Oh. That's embarrassing," I said with a nervous smile. "I guess I was more nervous about that presentation than I thought."

My smile disappeared quickly though when he leaned forward and placed a gentle hand on my knee. "Isabella, you're sick," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "It's nothing really, I've just been a little tired from school." My voice was quiet, and he shook his head.

"We had to do a few tests while you were unconscious, and we found a tumour during one of the scans."

I stared at him for a long time, trying to convince myself that I misheard. I couldn't even look at Edward. "Can you take it out?" I asked in a calm voice. I had seen the answer before I had even known the question though.

"No, it's in a spot in your brain that we just can't operate on," he said in a painful voice. "It's created some swelling, when you blacked out yesterday it was most likely because of a small blood clot. We have you on some blood thinners right now with your IV."

I nodded, and looked down at Edward's hand in mine. I stared at it quietly for a long time as I thought, afraid to meet his eyes. "How long?" I asked simply.

"You could live for a couple more years," he said uneasily. "But the risk of worse clots until then are only going to rise."

"Can I have a moment alone with Isabella please Carlisle?" The hard edge in Edward's voice was foreign enough to scare me into looking up at him. His blank mask was starting to crack, and I could barely breathe as I looked into his eyes.

"Edward, this isn't the best time to-"

"It's okay Carlisle," I said in a soft voice. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye as he left. Edward carefully slid onto the edge of my bed, taking both of my hands into his as he bore into me with his tortured eyes.

"You have to let me change you Isabella," he said in a choked whisper. "_Please_. I can't live without you."

My eyes quickly watered, spilling over as I watched him suffer. "I'm sorry Edward," I whispered. He closed his eyes, shaking his head quickly.

"No. I can't let this happen," he said angrily.

"Edward, I just can't-"

"Why?" He shouted, making me flinch back. "Is the idea of staying with me so awful that you'd really rather _die?"_ I shook my head, shaking through my tears, but he continued to slash at me with his words. "Or is it because you'd rather die to be with_ him_? Is that why you're doing this? Even after all this time, you still love him more than me?" I stared at him in shock, not believing that he could ever say something so hurtful.

I just stared at him silently, not even able to bring myself to be mad at his words. I would never forgive myself for doing this to him. I had considered it, becoming immortal for him, just to make him happy, but I just couldn't do that. The fact that I did have the ability to do that for him but couldn't bring myself to do it was the worst part of all.

The thing was though, I wasn't afraid of dying, only of the pain that it would cause him. That it would cause his family, _my_ family. But I knew that our time together had always had an expiration date, and thought that maybe it was better this way. They would never have to watch me grow old, and maybe it would be easier on them now if they lost me sooner rather than getting closer to me.

And it was better me than them. They would be safer without me in their lives.

His expression slowly changed from one of anger to one of horror as he watched me. I didn't move as he wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face against my stomach.

"Isabella, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean that, any of that. I can't believe I said it. I should never have asked you to do that. I love you, and I'm scared. I'm terrified. Please forgive me."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him as tightly as I could. "It's okay Edward. I deserved every word. I'm so sorry, and you could never hate me as much as I hate myself."

He took my lips fiercely with his, holding my face tightly in his long hands. Tears were still streaming silently down my face when he pulled away, his eyes only inches away from mine. "No, you didn't deserve it. I could never hate you Isabella, I love you more than life itself."

"I love you too."

He slid more into my bed, tucking his arm under my head and wrapping the other around my waist while being careful not to jostle my IV. He held me tightly in his arms while I cried, and though I felt all of the others outside of my room they never disturbed us. I watched through puffy eyes as my IV bag went empty, and Edward got up to disconnect it, knowing how much I hated needles.

"Can we go home now?" I whispered. I lived with a doctor, and knew I would be in safe hands there. I hated being inside the busy hospital, especially knowing that the headache from the people walking around was probably slowly killing me.

"Of course," he said softly, leaning in and kissing my forehead. He brought me my clothes, and I pulled on my jeans and my shirt quickly before he helped me sit down in a wheel chair. I met the sad eyes of all of his family when he wheeled me out of my room, and had to look down into my lap.

Carlisle handed Edward the bag of blood thinners that they wanted me to start taking regularly, and I was thankful that Edward quickly took me out to the truck. It was dark outside, and as soon as we got out the doors he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the door. I didn't even argue.

He ran me a bath when we got home, and I sat in the warm, scented water until it ran cold. I felt Esme come over half an hour after we got home, and could smell that she was cooking me dinner. It was just the two of them in the house though, and I made myself get out of the water, dried off, then wrapped myself in my robe before walking over to my closet and pulling on some pyjamas.

Esme was putting out a big plate of food for me when I walked into the kitchen, and I hopped up onto one of the stools and thanked her. Edward placed two pills on the napkin beside my plate, and I swallowed them quickly without a word.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, sitting down in the stool next to mine.

"I feel completely fine. Just a little tired," I told him honestly. "I swear," I said quietly when he gave me a serious look. "You should go hunting though."

"No, I can go later. I-"

"She's right Edward. I'll keep her company until you get back." She gave him a pointed look, and he looked back at me.

"I'm fine Edward." He watched me for a moment before he sighed, and leaned down to kiss me.

"I won't be gone long." We both watched him as he ducked out the back door, and I stared at the spot where he left for a couple minutes before nervously looking at Esme. Her face was carefully blank, and I think that was even worse than her yelling at me. I got up and cleaned my plate, and started on the dishes.

"I can do that Isabella, you should go sit down."

"No. Thank you for cooking for me, but I don't want you cleaning up too." I needed to keep busy, because I knew if I stopped and looked at her again I would burst into tears. My voice was already shaking. I felt as she moved away and sat down on one of the stools, and watched me quietly while I walked around.

I couldn't take it anymore. I heavily set down the pot, placing both of my hands on the sink as I leaned forward. She was by my side instantly.

"Just say it Esme."

"Say what?"

I looked at her evenly. "Whatever it is that you're thinking of saying. That you're mad at me, that you all are. That I'm a horrible person for-" My words were cut off as she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not mad at you," she said gently. She stepped back, holding onto my arms as she looked down at me, and I saw the concern that she had been trying to hide. "I understand why you're doing what you're doing. None of us had a choice in what we became, and though I love Carlisle I can't say for sure that I would have chosen this life myself.

But that doesn't change the fact that it's painful to think about. I love you Isabella. You're like a daughter to me. My precious, delicate little girl. I don't want to lose you." Her voice broke, and I hugged her tightly.

It was a big relief hearing that she didn't hate me, and that she understood why I was doing it. She helped me finish drying the dishes, and I curled up next to her on the couch, leaning against her shoulder while we watched TV until Edward got home. I smiled up at him when he flew in through the door, and saw him visibly relax. It was like he thought I would just disappear at any second.

And I realized that that was true. Carlisle said I _could_ live another couple years, not that I would. Any moment could be my last. I was used to living that way though, this still didn't change anything. The only thing it had changed was Edward.

Esme left us shortly after, and I went and dropped into bed while Edward turned off the lights. I turned on the lamp beside the bed when the house went black, and watched him as he slid under the blankets next to me. We both laid down on our sides facing each other, and I tried to think of something to say.

I had nothing. I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but it would have been nothing more than an insulting lie.

"Do you have anything you'd like to talk about?" He asked gently. "I'm sure that you must have a couple questions. You didn't ask Carlisle much at the hospital." I watched his face carefully. I could see how much effort it was taking him to compose himself like this, and really didn't want to make it worse on him. "It's okay Isabella, really. I don't want you to be afraid to ask me questions. You're not alone through this." He reached forward, brushing my damp hair away from my face.

"How often do I have to take the pills?" I asked curiously. Hiding from this would accomplish nothing, it wasn't going to go away. It would be better for both of us if we kept this out in the open.

"Two every morning and every evening. With food."

"Will they have any side effects?"

"No. It would take you longer to stop bleeding if you cut yourself, but I won't let that happen," he said with a small smile. That little change in his expression made it a little bit easier.

"Am I going to get sick?" I asked quietly. I don't think I would be able to deal with that, me slowly fading away and having him have to look over me.

"No, not unless there are any… complications." He said vaguely. He took a deep, steadying breath before he looked at me again. "It would happen just like it did the other day. You'll probably deal with a lot of headaches and nausea though." I nodded. So I was just supposed to go on, living my life normally and someday it would just stop? "Anything else?"

I sat up then, and took his hands in mine before looking him seriously in the eyes. "Edward, I want you to know that you don't have to do this."

"What are you talking about?" He said in an odd voice, but I knew that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I know you love me Edward, and because you care I know you want to help me. But you don't need to feel obligated to do so. I'm giving you an out. It's okay to want to walk away, I would never hold it against you."

"I don't feel _obligated_ to do anything, and I'm _not_ going anywhere," he told me in a stern tone. The words didn't bring any relief, it would have been easier if he just let me go.

"Are you-"

"Isabella, I'm not going anywhere. I mean it." His tone was final, and I nodded silently. He kissed me as he leaned over me to turn the light off, telling me that I should get some rest. When he lied back down, I slid over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I rested my head on his chest. I laid there quietly for hours, holding him while his hands trailed up and down my back before finally drifting off to sleep against him.

. . . . . . . . . .

Edward woke me up for the first time the next morning, telling me I had to eat something so I could take my medication. It took me a few minutes to figure out what he was talking about before the events of yesterday came back to me, but I got out of bed and had a bowl of cereal. After I cleaned my bowl, I brushed my teeth and tied back my hair before dropping back down on the couch next to him. He automatically pulled me into his lap, resting his chin on my shoulder, and we just sat together watching TV until Esme came over with dinner for me once again.

She cooked at home this time, and just stuck the casserole dish in the oven after giving me a kiss on the forehead. She sat with us while I ate her delicious food in the living room, but after taking away my empty plate she looked like she was about to leave. I invited her to stay for a while and watch TV with us and she accepted with a big smile, sitting down right next to me on the couch and sandwiching me between her and Edward.

I was too afraid to ask her about the others, about _Alice_. I hadn't talked to her since a few days before I had collapsed in class, only seen her grief-stricken face for a short second when Edward had taken me out of the hospital. I had to fix that. Alice was my best friend, I've loved her for a lot longer than I have Edward, and the fact that I had let my relationship with him put that sort of distance in our friendship made me feel horrible. I was going to make that better, I needed her to know that I cherished her more than she could ever imagine. I was terrified to face her though.

The feeling put a terrible pressure in my chest, and I leaned into Edward. Wrapping my arms around his chest tightly, I used the buzzing electricity of his proximity to try and ease the pain. He didn't say anything, and just started trailing his hand soothingly up and down my back. It was very effective, relaxing me after a couple minutes, and I drifted off like that while tucked underneath his arm.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up in our bed the next morning to Edward leaving a trail of soft kisses up my neck. His cold skin tickled a little, and my face broke into a sleepy grin. He kissed my jaw, and felt his cheek brush over mine. I hummed happily.

"Good morning," he whispered, his sweet breath washing over my face.

"Hmm," I said, not wanting to open my mouth this close to him until I brushed my teeth. I could definitely get used to him waking me up. I stretched before rolling over to the edge of the bed and sitting up. I felt great today, and I stretched one more time before getting up and walking over to the bathroom quickly.

Edward walked into the kitchen with me, and turned on the radio while I cut up a banana in a bowl of cheerios before covering it in milk and sitting down at the island. I tried not to let it bother me how closely he watched as I swallowed the two little pills with a glass of water, and finished my breakfast.

I took a nice long shower and blow-dried my hair, and was happy seeing the bright sunlight of early morning that was pouring in through the bay window over the Jacuzzi in the washroom. I slipped out to the closet after brushing my teeth, and pulled on a pair of pale jeans and a long-sleeved, black cotton shirt before pulling on some socks.

When I was done I went up to the study out of habit and stopped in front of my desk, looking down at the neatly organized chaos that covered it.

I loved my classes, I really did, but I had no desire to go back to the school. I didn't want to sit through the headaches and deal with the stress of it anymore, and didn't see the point in wasting my time on it. The best parts of my days were the little breaks in between that I would get to spend with Edward.

I looked over at him when I felt him close by, and saw the stress in his eyes as he watched me in front of my desk. Maybe he wouldn't mind too much if I didn't go back, but I was worried that he'd feel obliged to babysit me.

"I don't want to go back to school," he blurted out. He watched me, frozen in place while he waited for my response. I leaned back against my desk, sighing in relief.

"I don't either." I opened my eyes when I felt him stand right in front of me, and looked up into his golden eyes.

"Are you just saying that to make me happy?" His eyes were piercing me, watching me so closely, but I was being completely honest.

"I didn't want to go back, but I was worried that you would feel obligated to stop going because of me. I didn't want you to give up something you enjoyed."

His lips were pressed firmly against mine in the same moment, his body towering over me and leaning me into my desk a little more. The corner of one of my textbooks was pressing into my back uncomfortably, and I reached behind me and pushed them out of the way, some falling unceremoniously to the floor. The little voice inside of my head that was driven crazy by the mess was drowned out as Edward lifted me up and sat me down on the desk. One of his hands supported my back while he leaned over me, but my arms still automatically wrapped around his neck to hold myself up. When his phone vibrated, he sighed in annoyance but reached down to pick it up. He leaned me up with him, and I watched him with a dazed smile as he answered the phone.

His eyes went wide, then annoyed. "Thanks Jasper," he said quickly before hanging up. "I'll be right back, just wait here," he said, but I grabbed his wrist before he could walk away.

"What is it?"

He watched me for a long minute, an uncomfortable look on his face. I demanded with my eyes that he tell me though, and he conceited. "Alice is upset, and on her way over. Now is not the time thoug-"

"No. I have to talk to her." I got up, but he held me in place.

"You shouldn't stress-"

"I'll be fine Edward. Please. I _need_ to talk to her." I kept my face calm while I watched his mind spin around in his eyes. He slumped in defeat after one long minute, and I put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Thank you. Just wait here, I'll be right back."

I walked downstairs and threw on my coat and a pair of shoes before walking out into the backyard. The snow was finally gone, and the grass was starting to dry out. I couldn't wait to start designing my gardens. I sat down on the back steps, and thirty seconds later she was standing in front of me.

I had never seen her eyes so black before, and seeing her un-concealed pain in their depths made a sharp pain pierce through my chest. I stood up, and in the same moment she was standing directly in front of me, our eyes level.

"You're choosing wrong," she said in a strong, angry voice. It scared me a little, I had never heard her voice sound like that before, it wasn't her.

"I'm sorry Alice." She was entitled to her anger, and I wanted her to get it out. She needed to.

"I don't understand why," she pleaded. "Why are you so against this? Of being like me?"

"It's not who I am Alice, and you know that. I love you, I love all of you. You're my family, and I know you're different from the others of your kind but… I can't do that. I can't choose to live that way. I'm sorry."

She shook her head, staring at me furiously. "If you really loved us you'd join us. How could you do this to me? To Esme? To _Edward_?"

"Alice! That's enough!" Edward said furiously, standing directly beside me in that instant.

"No! She should know Edward, that you plan on trying to kill yourself as soon as she's gone. It will destroy our family. Can you really let him do that Isabella? You're practically killing him yourself!"

I stared at her in horror, and felt my entire body go cold. She was lying, she had to be. Of course I knew that this would be painful for Edward, but he couldn't… he had a family, he wouldn't do that to them.

But I knew if I lost Edward I would. When I had lost Jacob, I had our child that I had to care for, that's the only thing that had kept me going afterwards. I would have ended my life then if it wasn't for my baby. When I lost him too… I wanted to die, but I wasn't even physically capable of trying to kill myself. That was what kept me alive until I realized that it would have made his and Charlie's deaths meaningless if I gave up.

I wouldn't survive that again though, but the Edward I knew wouldn't have been selfish enough to do that when he had such a loving family. I was just a small blip on his century of life, even if he loved me. But if he did…

It was too much, my body couldn't handle the pain of that thought, and the yard spun around me as I collapsed.

. . . . . . . . . .

As soon as I started to awake, what had happened was the first thing to go through my mind and my eyes shot open. I quickly tried to sit up, but a restraining arm held me back.

"Shhh, calm down. You're okay," Edward said in a gentle voice, and my eyes darted over to him. The overwhelming fear spread through me again, and my eyes quickly watered and overflowed. I tightly clutched at his shirt.

"Did she mean what she said?" I asked him desperately. I saw it flash through his eyes before he could even answer though. "No! Edward, you can't do that. You can't-"

"It doesn't matter Isabella, you don't need to worry about-"

"How can you say this _doesn't matter_ Edward?" I cried, pushing myself up. I stared down at him with blurry eyes. I couldn't do this to him, I couldn't live another moment knowing that he would die. I couldn't let that happen. I closed my eyes tightly, but it did nothing to slow my tears as my breath came out in painful sobs. "Do it."

"Do what?"

"Bite me, change me. Just do it." My hands clasped over my mouth as they tried to quiet my cries. I couldn't breathe. I flinched slightly when I felt him get close, but made my body stay still. He took my wrists, pulling them away from my mouth. My hands balled up into tight fists.

"Isabella, look at me, please," he said sadly. I shook my head, I couldn't look at him. I was terrified and despised myself and I couldn't let him see that. I was screaming at myself in my mind. He took my face in his hands, swiping away at my tears with his thumbs. I grabbed onto his wrists tightly.

"Please, just get it over with," I begged.

"No." My eyes shot opened, and his were hovering directly in front of them. "I'm not going to change you Isabella. I would never do that to you."

"I can't let you die," I sobbed. "I can't live another second knowing that you'd do that Edward. I can't take it."

"This isn't what you want."

"But I love you."

"And I love you, which is why I'd never take your life away from you knowing that you didn't want this." He kissed me gently, and his eyes were very clear when he spoke again with a steady voice. "I swear to you that I won't. I swear on my life, on my love for you and on my family that I will live."

I couldn't see any lies in his words, and I clutched at him tightly. He held onto me while I cried and trembled, telling me that he was sorry over and over again. We lay together in our bed for the entire afternoon until Alice came back once again, this time with Esme and Jasper.

"I'm sorry," she told me immediately, pulling me off the bed into a hug.

"It's okay Alice. You're angry, and you have every right to be." I squeezed her back tightly. "I _do_ love you, and I'm sorry that I'm doing this to you. I'm so sorry."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel fine." I felt burned out to be honest. My nerves were shot, and all I wanted to do was hold onto Edward tightly. I gave her a reassuring smile though when she let go of me, and looked over at Jasper and Esme. "You know you don't have to bring over food as an excuse to see me Esme," I said with a grin. She smiled and dashed over to give me a kiss on the forehead before flitting over to my kitchen. The others came in and joined us too, and we all sat in the living room while I ate a big plate of spaghetti.

It was like someone flipped a switch when we sat down, and everything turned back to normal. I was tucked into Edward's side, Alice talked excitedly beside me. Esme was talking to Jasper about his classes at school. It was so relieving, and I found myself smiling absentmindedly while I listened to Alice, and traced Edward's hand on my stomach.

I did notice when Alice's eyes glazed over for a moment though, and she quickly tried to hide her surprised look.

"What?" I asked her curiously, and she smiled brightly at me.

"The clothes I ordered last week are coming in early," she said excitedly, and I laughed. She was hiding something though, looking almost frustrated, but I didn't really feel like prying. "Well, we should probably get going. Can you come by the house tomorrow?"

"Sure," I told her happily. They all gave me hugs before leaving, and I ran to use the bathroom and brush the smell of garlic out of my mouth before going back out. Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Would you feel up for a walk on the beach?" He asked hopefully, and I beamed at him.

"I'd love to," I said. It was absolutely gorgeous out and we hadn't been down yet since the snow had melted. I pulled on my coat and grabbed my boots before joining him at the back door, and we walked down our yard at a leisurely pace while holding hands.

It was so beautiful, and I found myself leaning into him a little as we walked. The sky was red and orange, glowing with the setting sun. It made the little puffy clouds in the sky look like they were on fire. The whole picture was doubled over the sparkling water of the still lake.

We stopped a while down the beach at this large washed up tree that was lying in the sand. Edward quickly took off his coat, lying it over the log and gesturing for me to sit. I smiled, feeling my cheeks flush slightly as I sat down, and he sat next to me quickly. It was completely silent, not a person to be seen or heard for miles. There was only Edward. I smiled at him dreamily, the red light from the sun making his messy hair look like coppery flames, and his skin shimmering faintly.

There was a slightly nervous look in his eyes when he met mine, but he leaned in and kissed me before I could ask him what was wrong. It was an amazing kiss, making my entire body tingle with electricity and melt into his arms. When he gently pulled away, I staggered under the expression in his eyes. They were burning brightly with determination, and I watched with wide eyes as he knelt down in the sand in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"I love you Isabella, more than anything in the world. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, and I would do anything and everything in the world for you. You know that, right?"

Those words were too painfully familiar. _"You know I love you right? More than anything and everything in the entire world ?"_ I quickly tried to push that to the back of my mind. I couldn't speak, and just nodded nervously.

"Will you marry me?"

I stared at him, too stunned to speak for a few moments. "Edward, you don't have to do this." I didn't want him to marry me out of guilt, but why else would he do this to himself?

"I'm not doing this because I feel obligated Isabella. I'm asking you to be my wife because I love you, and want you to be mine. Only mine. Because I want not only you but the entire world to know that I love you and only you."

"But you know how this is going to end."

"I know, but I don't care," he said painfully.

I knew for certain that I loved Edward, and would love no one but him until my dying breath. I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, that was a fact that I was sure about now. I had never thought about marriage with him before, because I had always pictured him moving on when I was older than him. That wasn't going to happen now though.

I loved him, and I wanted to make him happy. This was something that I could give him.

"Yes," I said with a smile, my voice soft.

His eyes went wide, surprised. "Seriously?"

I grinned. "Weren't expecting me to call your bluff?" I asked teasingly.

"I wasn't bluffing," he said seriously.

"Either was I," I said happily. A brilliant smile lit up his face, and the sight of it made my heart stutter.

He jumped to his feet, lifting me into his arms and kissing me fiercely. I grinned against his lips, wrapping my arms around him tightly, but he quickly put me down. My hands shot to my mouth as he pulled a small white box out of his pocket and held it open for me.

The ring was stunning, a large diamond, ringed by smaller ones on a delicate webbing of white gold with a thin band. It looked like a blooming flower.

He smiled brightly at me, and took out the ring before setting the box beside me on the tree trunk. He took my shaking left hand in his, and very carefully slid the ring onto my finger. I felt my eyes water as he kissed it, and looked up at me with eyes that glowed with pride. He took my face in his hands, and gave me the most beautiful, gentle kiss. I held onto him for a long time, surprising myself with how happy I was about this, how much I realized I wanted this. We sat together on the beach until the sky went dark, and he picked me up and sat me down on our back porch in seconds.

**Thanks for reading! **


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six: Not Enough Time

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-Six :: Not Enough Time**

**Edward**

If I couldn't read his mind, I would have sworn the professor was trying to bore the class to death. He was talking even slower that he usually did, having given this lesson dozens of times before he was barely paying attention to what he was saying. The only thing going through his mind was the Chinese food he was planning on ordering for dinner.

I wonder if Isabella likes Chinese food.

The company of all of these humans was horribly dull in comparison to hers. She made them seem boring. All of their minds were so predictable, so … normal. I didn't need my gift to guess what eighty percent of them were thinking. She was the only reason I put up with this, I would have been much happier to hide her in our cabin and keep her all to myself for the rest of our lives. I didn't need anything else.

And it was even harder to sit through this knowing that she was incredibly stressed and nervous about the oral report she had to give in class. She hated public speaking, but I knew she would do fine. She was always underestimating herself. My class finally let out, fifteen minutes late, and I ran out excitedly to meet her.

She wasn't there.

She had never once, _ever_, been late to meet me. I checked my phone but I didn't have any messages from her, only two from Emmett telling us to come over tonight. He had made some altercations to the skeet-shooter he had built for her awhile back, saying that he could shoot them twice as fast and far now. Usually the thought of my petit girlfriend shooting her giant rifle made me smile, but I was too distracted.

My phone started vibrating in my hand as I was walking to her building, a number I had never seen before. I answered quickly. "Hello?"

"Hi," a soft female voice said through the phone. "I'm looking for an Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, speaking."

"Hi Edward, my name it Sarah. I'm calling from Laurentian college main office, a student in our school, Isabella Larose-Swan has you marked as her emergency contact?"

Luckily I was close to the door, and I ran out through the rain quickly to the woods. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"She blacked out during a presentation during one of her classes today and has been taken to the hospital." After asking which one I hung up quickly, calling Carlisle.

"Hello Edward, I was just-"

"Carlisle I just got a call from the school and apparently Isabella is on her way to the hospital. She might already be there-"

"What happened?"

"I don't know, she blacked out or something. I'm in the woods, I should be there in two minutes. Can you-"

"Yes, I'm going down right now, I'll take care of it."

"Thank you." I hung up again quickly so I could run faster, and got there in ninety-seven excruciatingly-long seconds. I made my way quickly through to the ER where I could see Isabella, unconscious on a stretcher, through Carlisle's eyes. Once I got to her side and could hear the familiar sound of her heartbeat I relaxed the slightest bit.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked him quickly.

"I'm not sure, everything seems fine, her blood pressure is high though."

"She's been really tired lately, I think she's lost about three pounds in the past month, and she hasn't said anything but I think she's been having some headaches. She had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and chicken soup for lunch." Carlisle nodded, and I ignored the nurse that was giving me a strange look, thinking it was very strange for me to be able to recall all of those little details so quickly. "If she just fainted she should have woken up by now, can you maybe give her a CT scan and an MRI?"

"Yes, I think we should just to be on the safe side," he said.

. . . . . . . . . .

I didn't leave her side for a single second. My nerves got worse and worse as the time ticked by and she didn't wake up. Carlisle was able to get her quickly through the tests, and I sat with her in a private room, just holding her hand and talking to her quietly like I did when she slept sometimes. Carlisle came in as soon as he had the test results, and clipped them up on the light board so we could carefully inspect them together. I only had to look for half a second, it would have been impossible to miss even for a human.

"No. No no no…" I said in a panicked whisper, shaking my head. This couldn't be happening.

But vampires didn't dream, and the large tumour on the lower part of her temporal lobe, dangerously close to her brainstem was very much real. It tortured me from a dozen different images. There was no way to operate on this, and it was far too large for any chemotherapy to help. Not in this day, with this technology. There was no way to treat this.

Carlisle's thoughts were the same, he continued to stare at the images as I fell back into the chair by her bed and started combing my fingers through her hair. She looked so relaxed, so healthy, how could this be happening?

"It was probably a blood clot that made her collapse. I'll start her on some blood thinners right away," he said in a dead voice, putting a strong hand on my shoulder_. I'm sorry Edward._

"No. It's going to be okay. She'll change her mind, she has to." He knew what I was talking about of course, but he thought I was wrong. I ignored him.

Carlisle called the others, letting them know what had happened, and they had all come very quickly. I was concentrating on the sound of Isabella's strong heartbeat, using it to help me drown out their thoughts. She slept throughout the night, not stirring in the slightest. I held onto her hand firmly yet gently as I continued to comb my fingers through her soft hair.

I asked Carlisle to put her on an IV early in the morning, just in case. She had gone too long without eating, and Alice of course couldn't see when she would wake up. She needed it anyways with her second dose of blood thinners. She didn't stir in the slightest the entire day.

I was leaning over her, just wanting to feel her breath against my skin. It felt wrong to see her sleeping not in my arms. I wanted to curl up on the small bed beside her and hold her, but even that wouldn't keep her safe. Her hand twitched in mine, and I continued to comb my fingers through her hair as I watched her eyes move behind closed lids before she slowly opened them.

She looked at me with a disoriented expression for a moment before her eyes flickered around the room, then back to me. "What happened?" She asked in a quiet voice.

I froze. I had been thinking so much of my own fear, my own pain that I hadn't thought of anything else. What was I supposed to say? How do I tell her that she… I can't even think the words in my mind. Jasper had run to get Carlisle though, and he came back into the room quickly. Isabella looked over at him as he closed the door, a confused expression on her face.

"I can't…" I whispered to Carlisle, ashamed.

_It's okay Edward. I'll do it, I'm her doctor._

Her heart rate started to rise, making her monitor beep quickly as she asked what was going on. He pulled up the other chair next to mine. "Isabella, you blacked out at school yesterday," he told her gently.

Her eyes went surprised for a moment before her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. She smiled with an embarrassed look on her face. "Oh. That's embarrassing. I guess I was more nervous about that presentation than I thought."

I felt Carlisle wince internally. He had given this sort of news before, hundreds of times and it was never easy, but it had never been this hard for him before. In his mind Isabella was one of his daughters, he loved her so much, and this was crushing him. Her smile disappeared quickly when he put a hand gently on her knee. "Isabella, you're sick," he told her in a quiet voice. She brushed it off as always, telling him that she was fine, just a little tired from school. Jasper sent a fleeting feeling of comfort over to Carlisle. It was hard for him to do when he was so deeply on the other end of the spectrum from happiness, but it helped him get the words out. "We had to do a few tests while you were unconscious, and we found a tumour during one of the scans."

I watched her face closely while she looked at him. Her face was so calm; there was no fear, no tears, just calm. "Can you take it out?" She asked neutrally, and I saw in her face that she already understood what was happening. She nodded when he explained, and looked down at my hand in hers. She was going through an obvious effort not to look at me. I wanted to take her face in her hands and stare into those beautiful brown eyes one more time before they were changed to a scarlet red. "How long?" She asked, voice still steady.

He couldn't say it, the truth. It would be very unlikely that she lasted until the end of the year, even if it was possible. "You could live for a couple more years, but the risk of worse clots until then are only going to get worse."

Then I saw it; acceptance. No, I wasn't going to accept this, and neither would she. "Can I have a moment alone with Isabella please Carlisle?" Her eyes finally looked up at mine when I spoke, and I heard her breath catch in her throat.

Carlisle didn't want me stressing her right now, telling me that I would have time later, but there was no more time. "Edward, this isn't the best time to-"

"It's okay Carlisle." Her tone was gentle, and he gave her a nod, shooting me a sad look before leaving. I immediately slid up onto the edge of her bed, taking both of her hands in mine as I looked at her desperately.

"You have to let me change you Isabella. _Please_. I can't live without you." The pain in my silent chest was strong enough to make my voice crack as I spoke. Her eyes quickly watered, spilling over and running down her face. When she spoke I felt the entire universe crumble around me.

"I'm sorry Edward," she said in a shaky whisper. I shut my eyes, shaking my head in refusal. She couldn't do this.

"No," I said, not being able to stop my anger from flowing into my voice. I was useless. I told her I would protect her, and I was sitting right next to her and failing. She needed to let me help her. "I can't let this happen."

"Edward, I just can't-"

"Why?" I said, much too loudly. I was shaking in my anger, drowning in it. I didn't even think as I let it pour out of me through my words. "Is the idea of staying with me so awful that you'd really rather die? Or is it because you'd rather die to be with_ him_? Is that why you're doing this? Even after all this time, you still love him more than me?"

I was breathing heavily, my anger turning my vision almost red, and blurring out all other thought. But her warm eyes pierced into mine as she sat there, silently crying as she looked up at me. When I saw the depth of her pain in those eyes it pulled me out of the daze. I couldn't believe what I had done. How could I try to force this sort of thing on her? I knew Isabella loved me, she showed me every day with her smiles, touches and words. There was no one else in her life, she was mine, and I had just hurt her. She had been calm and strong throughout the news of her illness, but my pain had caused her to cry like this.

I really was a monster.

I crumbled then, and she didn't push me away as I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face against her stomach. "Isabella, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean that, any of that. I can't believe I said it. I should never have asked you to do that. I love you, and I'm scared. I'm terrified. Please forgive me." I was drowning, that was the only word that could describe what I was feeling. It was all consuming, my mind and body were completely lost to me. The entire world was lost.

Because Isabella was my entire world. She was everything, _my_ everything. Without her life would be nothing. Nothing except darkness because I would lose my sun, my moon and stars and everything else. She was only twenty, and soon our lives would be over. I've had her for five-hundred and six days, and had only a small fraction of that amount left. It had felt like nothing, passed in the blink of an eye. I didn't know what to do, I felt like my body was going to crumble apart.

Isabella held me together though, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders. It didn't feel tight to me really, her pressure was as gentle as a butterfly's, but I could tell the difference. For her this was tight, and just having the knowledge of that was comforting.

Her voice was so gentle, calm almost though I could tell she was still crying. "It's okay Edward. I deserved every word. I'm so sorry, and you could never hate me as much as I hate myself."

I kissed her quickly, so quickly that there was no time in the movement at all, and held her delicate face carefully in my hands. I couldn't let her believe that she could ever deserve something like that. How could I possibly hate her when it had been she who finally showed me what love really was? When I pulled away, hovering close to her face, I had never seen something so sadly beautiful as her big dark eyes sparkled, her cheeks flushed as tears streamed down them. "No, you didn't deserve it. I could never hate you Isabella, I love you more than life itself."

"I love you too," she said in a strong voice through her tears. There was no anger in her eyes, only love. She loved me, and it was torturing her that she wasn't able to give me what I so desperately wanted, and I hated myself for it.

I needed to be closer to her, I craved her contact more than I did blood. She let me slide into her small bed, rolling onto her side to give me room. I curled up along her back, sliding an arm under her pillow and wrapping the other one around her waist, careful not to jostle her IV. I buried my face in her hair as I held onto her firmly, feeling her body vibrating with her pulse against mine. Feeling her heartbeat, her slightly shaking breath and breathing in her intoxicating scent were the only things keeping me together while my mind spun in agonizing circles. Her closeness helped block out the chaotic thoughts that were shouting at me from just outside of the door.

As soon as I heard the last drop of her IV, I got up and carefully removed the needle from her arm. I knew how much she hated needles, and didn't want her to have it in it for a second longer than she had to. I'd do absolutely anything and everything in my power to make her happy. She sat up slowly while I was doing it, and I ignored the flames that tore at my throat while I put a piece of medical tape over the cotton ball on the back of her hand.

"Can we go home now?" She whispered.

"Of course," I told her quickly, leaning in and kissing her forehead. I didn't want her to be in here a second longer than she needed to. I could take better care of her at home, Carlisle was the only doctor in here that had more education in medicine than I did. I quickly grabbed her folded clothes off of the chair in the corner of the room, turning my head to the side respectfully as she got changed. Without her touch, the thoughts coming from outside were suffocating. Each one of my family members were suffering, accepting the fact that our newest and beloved member of our family would soon be lost to us. They seemed to understand her choice better than I could, and though they were tortured by her decision, they also respected it.

Except for Alice. _How could you give up that easily Edward? You were right. She's not thinking properly, maybe the tumour is affecting her ability to make a proper decision. We can't just give up. We can't. We need her. She has to change her mind._ She was absolutely livid, her mind in complete chaos. It had been Alice that had saved her, who decided to stay because of her love for Isabella. Before we had started dating for a year and a half Alice had been closer to her than anyone else. Aside from Jasper Isabella was the most important person in her life, and she couldn't think about life without her in it. Just like me, she had always thought that after a while Isabella would change her mind and join us.

She didn't argue when I gestured for her to sit in the wheelchair, which was very unlike her. After taking the medication from Carlisle, I quickly rolled her away from my family. There was no way that I was going to let her deal with their grief right now. She needed rest and peace.

Not caring about the people around us, as soon as I got out of the doors I easily scooped her up into my arms and walked quickly over to the truck. Emmett had gone to the school and picked it up for us.

She seemed to relax a little once we were away from the hospital, and I wondered if being in there had given her a headache. I knew she got them sometimes in public places, and now I was sure that she had been hiding the truth of the severity from me. Again. As we drove home in the silent darkness I couldn't help but think that her gift was somehow responsible for this. Her shield seemed to be really tied into her emotions, which would give a little bit of explanation as to why the tumour had formed on her temporal lobe. Even if I was wrong, I needed to do everything in my power to slow down its growth.

She was silent for the entire drive. She had sat a careful distance away from me while we were leaving town, but I had quickly undone her seatbelt and pulled her next to me. She didn't pull away from me, but she was obviously somewhere else in her mind. As soon as we pulled into the garage, I walked with her into the house, keeping a careful hand on her back, and led her into the washroom where I started up a nice warm bath for her, filling it with the strawberry-scented bubbles that she loved so much. I was tempted to slide into the large tub with her, but kept the thought to myself as I gave her some privacy. When I closed the door behind me, I leaned against it and slid to the floor, and buried my face in my arms. I couldn't bear to be any further away from her than this.

Esme came over fifteen minutes later, a big bag of groceries in one hand. She sat them down gently when she found me, pulling me up to my feet and hugging me fiercely. She didn't say anything, she knew there were no words that would be able to comfort me, so she just stood there holding me tightly, filling my mind with her love for me.

_I'm going to make Isabella some dinner, alright_? I nodded. _Come sit in the kitchen with me, this isn't good for you_, she thought, pulling me away from the door. I gave it one fleeting look before letting her drag me to the kitchen.

Esme ordered me to stay in place when I heard Isabella step out of the water. I paid careful attention to the sound of her heartbeat as she walked around in the bathroom, then across our bedroom into the closet and pulled open a couple drawers. I heard the movement of the fabric as she got dressed. She came out when she was done, her long, wet hair looking almost black as it hung loosely over her shoulders. She came and sat down quietly on one of the stools just as Esme sat down a big plate in front of her. I grabbed two of her pills, placing them down on a napkin beside her plate with a glass of ice water. She always enjoyed her water more with the pieces of ice floating in it for some reason. Before I could even try to persuade her into taking them, before I even opened my mouth, she took them quickly without a word, swallowing them with a large gulp of her water. I thought once again how out of character this was for her, and realized that she was trying to comfort me. Make me happy. The thought put a tight feeling in my chest.

I sat down in the stool next to her, and asked her how she was feeling. Her mind still looked like it was elsewhere, she had an almost lost look in her eyes that she was trying to hide. I didn't believe her when she told me she was fine, but she swore she was. She looked at me seriously when she told me to go hunting, but I couldn't leave her. Any minute she could just… No I had to stay by her side. I had to be here.

"She's right Edward. I'll keep her company until you get back." _You need to be at your best if you're going to care for her properly. I won't leave her side and I will call if anything seems wrong. You don't want to worry her more, do you?_

I looked painfully at Isabella. She did seem fine really, but that didn't mean anything. Esme's words rang through my mind as Isabella once again told me she was fine.

I leaned down to kiss her, and told her that I wouldn't be gone long before forcing myself to quickly duck out the back door and dashed into the woods. I didn't really register anything around me as I sped through the woods, barely missing the trees that I wove around as I followed the familiar trail.

Then I crossed _his_ scent, and froze. I listened to his steady yet quick heartbeat as the familiar russet-brown wolf turned and faced me with his dark brown eyes.

This was not the first time I had seen him by far. I ran across his trail the first time I went hunting when we moved here, and it was often that I found him walking around close to our yard. I had meant to take care of him the first time I crossed his path, but when he turned and looked at me something about him had stopped me. When he had faced me, his eyes were just so human in their expressive quality. They looked knowing almost, like it could see what I was, and wasn't afraid. All animals cowered or ran when they were faced with one of my kind, we were the creatures at the top of the food chain and they could see that better than humans. This wolf didn't, and there was something in the color of his eyes and the tone of his fur that reminded me intensely of Jacob Black.

"She's dying," I told him in a choking sob as I leaned back against a tree. "She's dying and there's nothing that I can do. I'm probably one of the most skilled surgeons in the world, but even I can't do anything about this one, not where it is." I looked up at him, and he was still standing there, a careful distance away while he watched me with those knowing eyes. "I yelled at her. I asked her to let me change her and she still said no. I said horrible things to her, and she didn't even get mad. She's accepted it. I tried to protect her, and I failed. If you had stayed with her, would she have been spared from this? Was it really our fault that her gift started doing this to her?"

He watched me for one long minute, and it almost seemed like he sighed before turning around and walking away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, and closed my eyes. I stood there in the silence of the forest for a couple of minutes, drowning in the emptiness. It was Emmett's thoughts that pulled me out of it.

_Hey Bro._

"Hey Emmett."

_How are thing's going at the house? Mom said she was going to make her dinner._

"Yeah, she was eating when they practically kicked me out to get my own dinner." Unlike with the rest of my family, Emmett didn't even bother trying to speak to me aloud most of the time. It was just normal for us to talk this way now. I did think of Jasper as my brother, just as I did Alice my sister, but it was different with Rosalie and Emmett. We were all actually created by the same person and had been together the longest.

_Good, I have a present for you. I was tracking a mountain lion for a bit on my way over. C'mon._ He waved me forward before he took off and I followed after him numbly. He pulled back once we caught its scent, and I tracked it down quickly, not hesitating as I sprung onto him. He hadn't even had time to register my presence, and I pinned him down onto the ground as my teeth easily sliced through his fur when I bit into his jugular.

He had been a large one, and as his warm, thick blood cooled the burning in my throat. It cleared my mind and made it a little easier to think. Emmett was leaning against a nearby tree casually, but his mind was anything but as he tried to hide his thoughts.

"I have to get back to Isabella," I told him quickly. Every second that went by was one less of the few I had left with her.

_I'll walk you home,_ he thought and started leading the way back. _How's she doing?_

"I don't know. She's been quiet. She had a bath when we got back, and… you already know what happened at the hospital." My entire family had witnessed my melt down. "She hasn't gotten mad or put up the slightest bit of a protest against her medication, against anything. She's been calm but she's not herself."

_Hey, our little human is the toughest person I know_, he said affectionately, and completely seriously. Emmett adored Isabella, and saw her as his favourite little sister. No one put up with his crap or teasing like she could, none of it ever even phased her. He was trying to put a strong face on for me but I saw how scared he really was. _She's going to be okay, but she's going to need our support man. If she can be strong through this than we need to be too._

He was right. Isabella was strong, and I knew she would be through this ordeal. It hadn't been her sickness that had scared her, but her worry for me. I needed to be stronger than this for her. To make the most of what we had left. She was really healthy, if anyone could beat the odds of lasting longer it would be her, and I had to make this time count as much as possible because no matter what it wouldn't be long enough.

_And she could always change her mind, _I told myself desperately. If she did I knew I wouldn't hesitate. As long as my venom got into her beating heart she would be okay.

"How's Alice doing?" I asked him a little nervously.

_She's… kind of lost it to be honest. Jasper's trying to deal with it though, nothing you need to worry about._

"I just want to give her some time before trying to deal with everyone. She took the news really well, it had been her concern for me that upset her."

_No worries Ed, I get it. We'll all be anxious to see her though once she's ready._ He punched me hard in the shoulder, his version of a hug.

"Thanks Emmett."

_No worries man_. He gave an awkward wave and then disappeared into the woods. It only took me ten seconds to get to the door, and when I blew through it I felt my body finally relax. Isabella was sitting next to Esme on the couch, leaning against her arm with a gentle smile while they watched TV. She looked up as soon as I came in though, and smiled brightly at me. I was by her side in the same second, taking her face gently in my hands as I kissed her. I felt her cheeks heat up against my hands while the feeling of her skin filled me with her burning electricity. She was safe and happy right now, and I would protect her. No one in the world could take as good care of her as I could.

Esme left shortly after, not wanting to but also wanting to give us some privacy. She told me mentally that she would be back with dinner again tomorrow. She was determined to help her put on a bit more weight, and I was grateful for her help. I had no skill in the kitchen whatsoever and didn't know how she did it. I was good at buying her dinner, but she didn't like going out to restaurants. I felt guilty now for convincing her to let me so many times.

After Isabella gave Esme a hug goodbye at the door, she stretched sleepily before flicking off the light and walking over to the bedroom. I quickly shut off the other lights and the television before joining her, and she turned on the lamp on her nightstand as I slid under the thick blanket. I had never used a blanket as a vampire before moving in with Isabella, but I liked it. It was like being put inside a thermos with her, her body heat warming up the space underneath it.

We just laid there and watched each other for a little while. The complex beauty of her eyes never ceased to amaze me, and as I was trapped in their pull I watched over and over as she tried to speak, but apparently couldn't find any words. I realized that she must have a lot of questions, she barely talked to Carlisle at the hospital, and was probably afraid of upsetting me by asking. I didn't want her to hide from me, I needed her to be comfortable about being honest with me if I was going to be able to help her in this. I saw in her eyes that I was right, she was scared about upsetting me. "It's okay Isabella, really. I don't want you to be afraid to ask me questions. You're not alone in this," I told her, brushing her damp hair out of her face. She deliberated for another long moment before asking.

"How often do I have to take the pills?"

"Two every morning and every evening. With food."

"Will they have any side effects?"

"No. It would take you longer to stop bleeding if you cut yourself, but I won't let that happen," I would be there to catch her around every turn, I was determined. Even with her lack of coordination I swore to myself that she would be safe in my care.

"Am I going to get sick?" She asked in a very quiet voice. I heard it there, a tiny bit of fear not only in her voice but in her eyes. I knew what she was asking; how was she going to die? I knew for her that the thought of me taking care of her while she slowly slipped away, not being able to care for herself, would have been a fate worse than death. There was the chance that her tumour could grow and push against her brain stem which could have a lot of complications, and there was a books worth of things that could happen if she had another stroke that didn't kill her, but for now that wasn't something she needed to worry about. Right now it was only imminent that she would eventually have a worse blood clot in her brain. She would black out like she did before, but her lungs and heart would stop working and she wouldn't wake up.

"No, not unless there are any… complications." I took a deep breath to steady myself through the words. "It would happen just like it did the other day. You'll probably deal with a lot of headaches and nausea though." She nodded, and I had already figured that she had been dealing with both of them and wasn't surprised. Maybe if she hadn't been so scared to worry me we could have found out sooner, then she may have had a chance… but I couldn't let myself go down that road. It would accomplish nothing now. "Anything else?"

She was quiet for a long moment, and I watched nervously as she sat up. I mirrored her quickly, and she took my hands in hers while looking me seriously in the eyes. "Edward, I want you to know that you don't have to do this."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her in a strained voice, but I had a feeling that I already knew. I knew Isabella well, and should have known that she would do this, try to distance herself to make it easier on me. I would never allow it.

"I know you love me Edward, and because you care I know you want to help me. But you don't need to feel obligated to do so. I'm giving you an out. It's okay to want to walk away, I would never hold it against you."

She was _'giving me an out'? _Could she really think that I would just let her go like that? That my love for her was weak enough to leave her because of this? That I was here right now because I felt _obligated_? The thought that she thought less of herself enough to think so broke my stone heart.

"I don't feel _obligated_ to do anything, and I'm _not_ going anywhere," I told her fiercely.

"Are you-"

"Isabella, I'm not going anywhere. I mean it," I told her, interrupting her protest. There was nothing in the world that she could do to push me away. She loved me completely, and anything she said otherwise I would know to be a lie to try and protect me. This conversation was over, she had to know that I wouldn't even listen to any attempt to push me away. I leaned over her, kissing her gently as I flicked off her lamp and told her to get some rest. Even if she had been out for a long time, it wasn't the same as sleep and she had been through too much today.

I worried for a long second if maybe I had been too firm with her and upset her, but when I lied back down on my back she slid closer to me. She leaned over me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she rested her head on my chest. I relaxed, relieved, and held her gently as I trailed my hands up and down her back.

Her breathing didn't slow down to the slow rhythm it usually did when she slept, so even though she didn't move for those first three hours I knew that she wasn't asleep. It was after two in the morning when her hold on me loosened, and I carefully extracted her arms from around my neck so that she didn't lose circulation in them, but left them on my shoulders where she lightly held onto me in her sleep.

I smiled slightly, I loved the way she held onto me even when she slept. I rested one of my hands on her waist, and started combing my fingers through her chaotic hair. I loved it even more when it was messy like this, drying in lose, large ringlets. It made her look so wild, which was only intensified when her burning brown eyes were open.

"I can't," she whispered quietly against my chest. It was just a bit past four in the morning, and I had already accepted that she probably wouldn't be speaking to me tonight. I was lucky if it happened once a week.

"Can't what?" I asked her gently. She would kill me if she ever found out that I did this, but I just couldn't help myself. It was just too interesting talking to her like this, I could never turn down the opportunity to make her say just a few more of her uninhibited words. I had played a lot of characters in these conversations; her mother, Charlie, a girl named Leah, even Jacob sometimes. It didn't bother me that she dreamed of him, I loved every part of her and that included him. He had helped make her the Isabella that I loved this day, and that he had saved her from being acquired by the Volturi was something that I would always be grateful for. It comforted me that the majority of the time though, I played myself.

"I can't do this to him. It would be easier if he left me."

"No it wouldn't," I told her, still not knowing my name tonight. It wasn't always an easy thing to figure out. "It would hurt him even more if you left him. He loves you more than anything."

"I can't leave him. I don't want to be alone again, I don't want to lose him and I'm a horrible person for being so selfish."

"No you're not. You're the kindest, most loving and caring person I've ever met."

I stopped my fingers in her hair as she turned her head to the other side, and was silent. No, I'm not done yet, I thought worriedly.

"Are you scared?" I asked her, hoping she was still there.

"I'm scared of what this will do to him, to all of them."

"But aren't you scared for yourself?" I already knew she worried about us.

"No… it's better this way," she said in a sigh.

"Why?"

"He would have left me in a few years when I got older than him anyways. This is easier, and they'll be safer without me around."

I was frozen. She actually thought I would leave her if she grew older than me? That I would toss her aside? I couldn't convince her otherwise while she was asleep, but I would once she woke up. I had told her before that I didn't love her because of her body, although I _did_ love her body. I loved her because of her mind, because of who she was. I've wanted to ask her to be my wife since before I had even kissed her that first time. I had been carrying my mother's wedding ring in my pocket for a year and a half, forcing myself to be patient, to wait a reasonable amount of time so I didn't scare her away. I still have every intention of making her my wife, and soon, although now I worried that she might think I was doing it out of pity. Why had I waited so long?

I had one more question that I needed to ask her as soon as possible, and forced the other thoughts out of my mind. "Do you have any regrets?" If there was something I could do, something I could fix or make better for her I had to find out.

"Only one that matters," she whispered, and even in the softness of her sleeping voice I could hear a hint of anger.

"What?" I asked desperately.

"I never got my revenge."

"On the Volturi?"

She squirmed around in her sleep, and I worried that I had woken her up. She just rolled onto her back though, kicking one of her legs over mine as she sprawled out like a star fish. I ducked out of the way when her hand almost collided with my face, biting back my laugh.

"Isabella?"

Nothing. She was gone, no trace of our conversation left except for the slight crease in between her eyebrows on her strained face. I knew I was right though, she had to be talking about the Volturi. They had taken her father, her betrothed and I knew she blamed them for the death of her child just as much as she did herself, and more so than the man that had run her off the road and fled without a backward glance.

When she rolled onto her side twenty minutes later, facing away from me, I slid closer to her, leaning my forehead against the back of her head while I wrapped an arm around her waist. Her body leaned into me, and I held her a little more tightly.

Seven rolled around, and I was a little stuck. I had never woken her up before, I was always happy just to lay with her while she slept and wait until she was done, but I wanted her to be taking her blood thinners every twelve hours. The later won out quickly, and I gently shook her shoulder.

Her eyes flashed open quickly, her heart rate shooting up as her eyes darted around the room. She stared at me, panicked for a few seconds before relaxing against the pillows again. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up but… You need to eat something to take your pills."

"Okay," she said in a sleepily voice, stretching before slowly rolling out of bed. I went to the kitchen when she walked over to use the washroom, taking out two of the tiny capsules and setting them down on a napkin as I went to pour her a glass of water.

Her eyes were half closed still as she walked a little unsteadily into the kitchen. I watched worriedly as she filled one of her small bowls with cereal and milk. I passed her a spoon, and she gave me a sleepy smile as she took it and sat down. She swallowed the two pills, barely looking at them, as soon as she sat down and slowly ate her breakfast. I made myself move around so I didn't stare at her while she ate. I knew it drove her crazy when I did.

I never wanted to do that again, seeing her wake up scared like that was horrible. But I knew I would have to, and made sure to think of a better way to do it next time. I went and sat down on the couch, turning on the TV, and hoped that she felt too tired to think of school. I listened as she cleaned her bowl before putting it away and watched out of the corner of my eye as she walked back into our room. She was in the washroom with the sink running for a little while, and when she came back out she was still wearing her pyjamas, with her hair tied back into a long ponytail, and sat down next to me on the couch.

I sighed in relief, knowing I could put off the subject of wanting us not to go back to the university for a little while longer, and pulled her into my lap immediately. She still didn't look quite awake, but smiled up at me and kissed me gently before resting her head against me. I rested my chin gently on her shoulder, and continued to flick through the channels on the television as I wrapped one of my arms around her waist. I settled on this home and garden show, and saw her smile faintly through her reflection on the TV. I knew that she must have been getting excited to start working on the back yard, and that was a project that I would have no problem with as long as she was wearing knee pads and a good set of gloves.

"Would you like to do a deck like that?" I asked her curiously while we watched this show about extreme deck designers. She liked sitting out on the porch a lot.

"Not really. It's nice and all, but I find it looks too… urban? Man made. I'd rather have a small stone patio and a million plants," she said in a dreamy tone. I agreed, I had seen what she was capable of creating and was looking forward to whatever she decided to do. I would rather plants over a backyard full of cedar planks any time.

Esme came over at six, carrying a big casserole dish and sticking it in the oven after giving Isabella a quick kiss on the forehead. She was glad that Isabella was comfortable with having her here, and I saw the conversation that they had had yesterday while I was out hunting for the first time through Esme's mind. Isabella had mistaken Esme's pained silence for anger, and she was happy that they had quickly sorted it out. I wasn't the only one who wanted to see her as much as possible, she was loved by my entire family, and Esme was absolutely destroyed by the knowledge that she was going to lose one of her precious daughters, the one that she connected with the most.

She was about to leave after taking Isabella's cleared plate, though she was reluctant to leave so soon. She beamed happily when Isabella invited her to stay and watch television with us, quickly dashing over and taking the spot on her other side.

We were all sitting in comfortable silence for a while, and I looked down when I felt Isabella slide an arm behind my back as she wrapped the other one around me, and held onto me tightly as she buried her face in my shirt. Her breathing was even, and I knew she wasn't crying, but her heart rate was a little high. I didn't say anything, happy that she was asking for comfort in some sort of small way, and started rubbing my hands gently up and down her back. I felt her relax into me, and after a half hour her hold on me loosened as her breathing shifted into the familiar rhythm of her sleep again. I carefully disentangled her loose hold on me, sliding her gently into my lap where she settled her head against my chest with a small smile. I smiled back at her sleeping face, and saw the image of us through Esme's eyes as she watched.

She couldn't bring herself to smile anymore, seeing us like that. She knew that I wouldn't be able to live without her. Everyone knew that, just like none of them would live through losing any of their mates. I held onto Isabella a little more tightly, and she sighed in her sleep.

"I'm sorry Esme." I didn't know what else to say, because there was nothing. I didn't have any other options.

"We all love you too Edward. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course it does Esme. It means everything, and I love you all too. You know that." She nodded, and I didn't need to say the rest. She heard it in her own thoughts, knowing what she would do if she lost Carlisle. I leaned over, and gave her a tight, one-armed hug. "I love you Mom."

_I love you too sweetie_, she thought, not trusting her voice. _I'll come back over tomorrow with dinner. You don't think she will mind do you?_

"Of course not. We'll see you tomorrow." She gave me a quick kiss on the head before leaning over and giving one to Isabella too before leaving quickly. I switched off the television, and easily carried her over to the bed while turning off the lights. When I slid into the blankets next to her, she rolled over and slid her arm over my waist as she curled up next to me.

She didn't talk at all throughout the night, but she was practically dancing in her sleep. Every fifteen minutes or so she would roll over, toss her head or kick out one of her arms or legs. It was normal for her and I expertly dodged her kicks and punches so she wouldn't wake up with bruises. I was starting to worry that she wasn't having a peaceful sleep though, even though her face looked completely relaxed, so I rolled her onto her side and wrapped my arms around her. She made the most adorable grin before relaxing in my tight embrace, and didn't stir again for the rest of the night.

A quarter to seven rolled around, and she was still sound asleep in my arms. I didn't want to startle her again like yesterday though. I loosened my hold on her, sitting up a little bit, and saw her frown slightly. I grinned, sliding my hand down her side, and watched as her face relaxed again. I leaned back over her, and started leaving a trail of slow, gentle kisses up her neck. I listened happily as her breathing changed and her heart rate picked up a little. I watched as her mouth pulled up into a grin, and kissed her jaw before lightly brushing my cheek against hers. I loved the feeling of her soft, warm skin on my face.

"Good morning," I said gently, just in case she wasn't completely awake yet. She hummed back her greeting, and I knew I wouldn't get anything closer to a word than that this early in the morning. She had this notion of something called 'morning breath.' I don't think she realized just how powerful her delicious scent was to me, because no matter what I always thought she smelt amazing.

She stretched in my arms, and I fought the urge to grab onto her tightly and pull her back to me as she rolled out of my arms to the edge of the bed. Did she not realize how crazy it drove me when she did that? No, I don't think she really had any idea of just how painfully beautiful she was.

When she came out of the bathroom I walked over to the kitchen with her, and turned on the radio to break the silence of the house. I watched curiously as she cut up a piece of fruit into a bowl of cereal and covered it in milk before sitting down. It really didn't look appetizing but she was eating it voluntarily. She swallowed her medication quickly, and I saw a flash of irritation go through her eyes when she caught me watching closely. She didn't say anything, but washed her bowl and went to the washroom without another glance at me.

This was a lot harder for her than she was letting on, I realized. I know she would never try to argue out of taking them, but I was going to have to be a little more trusting of her if I wanted to avoid pissing her off.

I got changed while she was in the shower, just throwing on the first shirt and pair of jeans I picked up, and sat outside on the porch to give her some space for a little while. It was much longer than a little while actually. It was almost two hours before I heard her walk upstairs, and I panicked slightly as I went after her.

She had stopped in front of her desk, and was looking down at her things. Her hair was long and straight as it flowed down to her waist like water around her, and even dressed in her simple jeans and baggy, black cotton shirt she looked like a goddess. How was I supposed to ask her to give up something that she loved? When she looked at me though, and pierced me with those dark brown eyes, I had no choice. I couldn't deal with the idea of her going back there and knowing that she might be suffering, that I might lose her sooner because of it, and because I wouldn't be able to be by her side.

"I don't want to go back to school," I told her bluntly. I froze, watching her carefully as I waited for her response. She sighed, placing her palms down on her desk as she leaned back against it.

"I don't either," she said with her eyes still closed. They opened quickly when I moved so that I was directly in front of her though.

"Are you just saying that to make me happy?" The idea of her holding it against me, of holding her back from what she wanted to do with the rest of her time was just as bad. I watched her carefully, hoping that she wouldn't try to protect me as she usually did. Her eyes were very honest and sure when she spoke though.

"I didn't want to go back, but I was worried that you would feel obligated to stop going because of me. I didn't want you to give up something you enjoyed."

I kissed her quickly, barely giving her the chance to finish her last word. I was so relieved, and once again blown away by how much she cared for me. Even my spacious mind wasn't big enough to wrap around how much I loved her. Her head tilted back as I towered over her, leaning her into her desk a little more. She shifted, and when I heard her books hit the floor I lifted her up onto her desk, bringing her closer to my height. I wrapped one arm around her, supporting her back as I leaned forward, placing my other hand on her desk to support my weight. Her arms quickly wrapped around my neck, holding her against me herself. Her thighs had tightened on either side of me as her pulse thudded quickly and loudly in my ears, and when she loosened her hold when my phone vibrated against her I almost chucked it at the wall. I sighed, pulling her up with me as I stood up straight and answered. I was tempted to grin at the dazed, happy smile on her face, but Jasper's words cut me short.

"I'm sorry Edward, I couldn't keep her away any longer. She's on her way." I had seen how she was through Esme's mind last night, and I didn't want Isabella dealing with that. She seemed so happy right now, and I didn't want that to slip away. I thanked him for the heads up and flipped the phone shut. I foolishly told Isabella to wait where she was, and she grabbed onto my wrist quickly before asking me why. Her eyes were forceful, and there was no way I could lie to them. I knew she could read me too well, and I hated the idea of it anyways.

She told me she wanted to go out and meet her herself, that she needed to talk to her. There was no persuading her out of it, and I listened carefully as she went outside and sat on the stairs of the porch.

I had never hated someone in my family before, but that was the only word that came to mind as I listened to Alice yell at Isabella in our back yard. Her mind was so chaotic that I could barely make sense of her thoughts. She fell on trying to make her feel guilty, and when the idea went through her mind I was outside in a second.

"Alice! That's enough!" I shouted at her. She didn't even look at me.

"No! She should know Edward, that you plan on trying to kill yourself as soon as she's gone. It will destroy our family. Can you really let him do that Isabella? You're practically killing him yourself!"

My eyes shot to Isabella as I heart her heart make a terrifying stutter. Her face had gone deathly pale as her heart sped up alarmingly fast. When her breath caught in her throat and didn't release back out, I was at her side, catching her just as her legs gave out underneath her.

I had seen it happen, so I knew that she had only fainted, but it was still terrifying. I held her carefully, measuring her pulse before glaring at Alice.

She was frozen in horror, her hands covering in her mouth. _Edward, I'm sorry, I-_

"Go. Now," I growled, picking Isabella up carefully and turning around to bring her inside.

"I'm sorry! I was only trying to-"

"Leave!" I shouted at her again, running inside and slamming the door shut. I laid her down gently on the bed, then curled up beside her while I listened to her heartbeat even out and waited for her to wake back up.

She was only out for about fifteen minutes before waking up in a panic. I held her down when she tried to sit up too quickly and tried to calm her. Her eyes darted over at me as soon as I spoke, and I watched as they watered and quickly over-flowed, and her heart rate raced out of control. She grabbed onto my shirt tightly, looking at me with tortured eyes.

"Did she mean what she said?" She asked in a desperate tone. I didn't know what to say to her, I didn't think I'd be able to lie, and what she saw in my face answered the question for her. "No! Edward, you can't do that. You can't-"

She shouldn't have known about this, she shouldn't be worrying about it. I needed to calm her down, this wasn't safe for her. "It doesn't matter Isabella, you don't need to worry about-"

"How can you say this _doesn't matter_ Edward?" She cried, and I let her go as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. She stared down at me, and I was at a loss seeing what this was doing to her. I didn't know what to say. I drowned in her own pain along with mine, but froze when she shut her eyes tightly and spoke. "Do it."

The words were so sudden, so random. I had no idea what she was talking about. "Do what?"

Her voice caught in her throat while she tried to talk through her anguished cries. "Bite me, change me. Just do it." Her hands clasped over her mouth as a shaking sob wracked her body.

I was stunned. She actually said it. She was agreeing, she was giving me permission. I leaned forward immediately but froze when she flinched from my proximity. She didn't pull away though, and just sat there trembling, her eyes shut tightly with tears streaming down her face, her hands covering her mouth as she tried to quiet her cries.

_She was scared of me_. No, she didn't want this. She was only saying this to save me, but she didn't want to. She was actually giving me permission to take her life, make her like me, just because she couldn't let _me_ die. I had made her feel trapped; this was the same thing as me taking her by force.

I loved her too much to do that to her.

I gently wrapped my fingers around her wrists, and her hands balled into tight fists as I pulled them away from her mouth. She was terrified, and that was killing me. "Isabella, look at me, please," I begged, and she shook her head in refusal. How could I have done this to her? There was nothing now, but I could do that for her. Medically there was nothing I could do, and now I knew that I couldn't change her, not like this. The only thing I could do was make the hardest promise I would ever have to make.

I took her face gently in my hands, wiping away at the tears on her face. Another horrible sob wracked her body, and her small hands wrapped tightly around each of my wrists. "Please, just get it over with," she begged.

"No." Her eyes flashed open, immediately in front of mine. "I'm not going to change you Isabella. I would never do that to you." _And I'm sorry that I made you think I would._

"I can't let you die," she cried. "I can't live another second knowing that'd you do that Edward. I can't take it."

"This isn't what you want."

"But I love you."

"And I love you, which is why I'd never take your life away from you knowing that you didn't want this." I leaned in across the two inch space between us and kissed her softly. When I pulled back I looked at her openly, putting the depth of this promise into my voice. "I swear to you that I won't. I swear on my life, on my love and on my family that I will live."

She looked at me disbelievingly, but there was no deception behind my words. I had to give this to her, and was willing to live in an eternity of agony for her to be happy for the short remainder of her life. Unless she really changed her mind then there was nothing else, and now I really didn't think she would.

She clutched onto my shirt tightly, pulling herself into me as she cried. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, and after a minute leaned us down onto the bed. I held her against me as her warm tears soaked through my shirt, telling her over and over again how sorry I was for hurting her and putting her through this. We stayed there like that until the sun had moved to the opposite side of the house, long after she had stopped crying and had gone silent though she never loosened her grip. I never loosened mine either, not until she felt the others walk onto the property and sat up in the bed, wiping at her face self-consciously.

Alice saw me going to send them away as soon as they got here. _Please Edward, I'm so sorry. It was selfish of me to do that. I never wanted to hurt her, you know that. I love her just as much as you do, I just want to make this right._

I sighed and sat up, leaning back against the headboard and moving a little closer to Isabella. Alice thanked me mentally as she blew into the room, pulling Isabella away from me as she hugged her tightly. Isabella accepted her apology too easily, not showing a single flicker of anger. I wasn't the only person that was worried by this. Isabella was known to have a bit of a temper but… she was just dealing with this too calmly.

Esme had brought her dinner again, and the four of us sat down in the living room with Isabella as she ate with a big smile. It was impossible not to do the same in the presence of her smiling face, and as we all relaxed because of it things seemed oddly… normal. With her so healthy and happy beside me, it was easy to forget how sick she really was.

But I didn't. I was going to lose her, and live an eternity without her. I needed to make the most of this time that I had. I couldn't put it off or debate about the issues anymore, I needed to do it now and deal head on with any misgivings that she might have. I looked over at the sky that was just starting to turn slightly orange. I'll take her for a walk on the beach, I'll do it as soon as possible. I just need the others to leave.

I saw the image of myself, down on one knee in front of her, holding her hands in front of the low setting sun, and it ended abruptly. Alice's visions did that as soon as they had something to do with what Isabella would do. She could see her in the sidelines of visions for other people, but when it came to what Isabella would do, it always stopped her visions now. It reminded me a little of the wolves in Forks, and how everything would disappear when our paths had intertwined, and I tried not to let it bother me that I hadn't heard her say yes.

Alice was shocked, everyone had known that I'd wanted to ask her for years, but they never really thought I had the guts to do it. I shot Alice a look when Isabella caught her, and she quickly made up an excuse to cover her lapse.

_I can't believe you're actually going to do it. About time, I'm sorry that I can't… We'll leave right away. Text me and let me know what happens!_ Jasper and Esme gave us curious looks when Alice excused them all, and they all rushed to give her a hug before leaving. As soon as the back door closed, Isabella ran over to the washroom and closed the door. I sat down on the edge of our bed, fiddling nervously with the small white box that was always in my pocket.

She stopped in the doorway when she came out, looking at me. I made myself speak quickly before my nerves could best me. "Would you feel up for a walk on the beach?"

She smiled brightly, and as usual I was frozen for a moment from the beauty of it. "I'd love to," she said happily. She walked over to the closet and grabbed her leather jacket and a pair of black boots, and I was close by her side as she walked over to the back door. I automatically gave her my hand to steady herself as she quickly pulled on her boots, and didn't let go when she finished. She didn't seem to mind, not even trying to take it back as she squeezed mine in return with another smile.

We walked slowly down our long backyard towards the beach. Before I met Isabella, it had driven me crazy keeping the slow pace of a human, but with her… I liked the slow pace, it was relaxing, and I never wanted anything to go fast with her. I treasured the time to be able to fully enjoy every moment.

Luckily there was no one on the lake, I had scanned it and the surrounding woods carefully, so I didn't have to hide us in the trees. The sun had set the sky on fire as it lowered onto the horizon, and the color made Isabella's hair look like dark red flames. She had an easy smile on her face as she looked around, and I relaxed a little bit more when she moved closer to me, almost leaning into me as we walked.

I saw the washed up tree that I had seen in Alice's vision and forced myself to stop. I took off my coat, draping it over the log and gesturing for her to sit down. Her cheeks flushed to that alluring shade of pink as she sat down, and I quickly took the spot next to her. It was silent except for the soft sound of the wind blowing through the trees, and Isabella's heart beat and breathing. I watched her as she stared up at the sunset, trying to force myself to move. She looked up at me, and gave me the most loving smile.

She was happy, here with me. That was all each of us needed to be happy; each other. That knowledge gave me the courage to lean down and kiss her. Her body responded to mine enthusiastically, filling my body with tingling electricity, and that was all I needed to know that I was doing the right thing. She opened her eyes when I pulled away, and looked surprised for a moment. Isabella was mine. I didn't own her, but her body and soul belonged as much to me as mine did to her. I wanted the entire world to know that she had chosen _me_. And hopefully she would choose me again now.

I got up, dropping to one knee in the sand in front of her. Her heartbeat sped up a little as she watched me, and I took both of her hands gently in mine. "I love you Isabella, more than anything in the universe. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, and I would do anything and everything in the world for you. You know that, right?"

She nodded nervously, but didn't make a sound.

"Will you marry me?"

It was such a relief to have finally said the words, I had been dreaming of the day I would be able to for so long. I was expecting her answer, she was always putting me first. "Edward, you don't have to do this."

"I'm not doing this because I feel obligated Isabella. I'm asking you to be my wife because I love you, and want you to be mine. Only mine. Because I want not only you but the entire world to know that I love you and only you."

"But you know how this is going to end."

I did, but that didn't matter. Either way I was going to love her until the end of time. "I know, but I don't care."

She was silent for two long minutes, then gave me a soft smile. "Yes."

I didn't believe what I was hearing, I was expecting to have to argue with her for a couple of hours trying to convince her. "Seriously?"

She grinned at me, speaking in a light, teasing voice. "Weren't expecting me to call your bluff?"

She thought I was joking? Could she not see how absolutely serious I was? "I wasn't bluffing."

"Either was I," She said easily. It finally sunk in then. _She said yes_, she wanted to marry me. I smiled happily, knowing I would be crying now if my body was able to. I jumped up to my feet, lifting her off of the tree and into the air before pulling her into a fierce kiss. I felt her soft lips smile against my hard ones, and wrapped my arms around her tightly. I never wanted to put her down.

Then I realized I had done this all wrong, I haven't even given her the ring. I forced myself to set her down, and her hands quickly covered her mouth as I took the small white box out of my pocket finally, and showed her the ring. She was frozen, looking at it like she was terrified, and I worried that she didn't like it. I had thought about buying her a new ring, but I really thought she would like my mother's. I knew she preferred silver over gold, and the diamonds reminded me of a flower the way they were set. She loved gardening.

I realized I had never even bought her flowers before, and mentally cursed myself.

"This was my mother's," I explained, a little nervously. "We can pick out something more modern though if you'd like."

"It's beautiful," she whispered, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. I beamed happily, overjoyed that she liked it. Her hand was trembling when I took it gently in mine, lifting it up between us as I carefully slid it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, and there were no words capable in any language of describing the amount of joy and pride that I felt seeing it on her delicate hand. I kissed the ring on her finger softly before looking up to her.

She had agreed to be mine. It was official, and she wore the promise openly and happily on her left hand now with a joyed smile. I took her face in my hands, holding my reason for existence and staring into the dark depths of her eyes. I kissed her gently, treasuring the fragile angel in front of me. It was hard to believe I had once hated her and considered her a curse. I had been running away from everything I had never even dreamed that I needed and wanted so badly.

When the sun had set and the sky went dark, I felt her shiver slightly against me. It was almost nine anyways, and I lifted her into my arms suddenly, making the trip that had taken us half an hour in only a few seconds. She threw her head back and laughed, and I kissed her again as I set her down on our back porch. Her arms wrapped around me quickly so that I couldn't pull away, and I chuckled as she backed me against the wall of our cabin.

As much as I would have been happy to stay just like this for the rest of the night, I could feel the goose bumps on her arms and wasn't about to let her get sick. "You're cold, we should go inside," I whispered against her lips. I couldn't bring myself to pull away from her. She let out the tiniest sigh before letting go of me, stepping away easily and opening the door. She quickly pulled off her boots, catching herself against the wall before I could, and walked over to the closet casually as she undid her coat. I took off my shoes slowly while I watched her, and when she didn't come out a minute later I made my way over to the bedroom. I caught a glimpse of her through the partially open closet door as she pulled her shirt over her head, and was hypnotized for a moment by the curve of her spine and movement of her shoulders blades as she reached behind her and unsnapped her black bra. I ducked back out into the living room as she started to turn around, and dropped down quickly on the couch as I tried to control myself. She came back out a couple minutes later wearing a pair of pale pink, loose silk pyjama pants and a black tank top, and was braiding her long hair as she walked over and sat next to me on the couch. I was entranced by the way her fingers wove through her silky hair, and wished that I was the one doing that.

"Can I try?" I asked hopefully, gesturing to her hair. She froze for a minute, arms folded behind her head, before giving me a strange look and grinning.

"Sure," she said in an easy voice, and shook her fingers through her hair. She stood up, grabbing one of the big pillows off of the couch and dropping it on the floor in front of me. She stood in front of me as she turned around, placing her hands on my knees as she quickly folded herself down on the ground in between my feet as she stole the remote and started flicking through the channels.

I smiled as my fingers slid through her hair like water, even though it took me a couple of tries to get it started properly. After she settled on a film, some comedy with zombies in it, she leaned back on the couch towards me. I took my time, moving much slower than a human would have I'm sure, enjoying the task. "Elastic?" I said, very proud of the end result, and she held it over her head for me to take. I wrapped it around the end three times, then slid my hands under her arms as I lifted her easily onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her neck before she turned to face me. She was still smiling happily, and combed her fingers through my hair before leaning in and kissing me.

I wrapped the small throw blanket that was on the back of the couch around her bare shoulders before she relaxed against me, and while we watched the movie I saw her eyes flicker from the television to her left hand every few minutes. Despite how hard she was trying to keep her eyes open, she fell asleep in my arms before the movie finished. She looked so comfortable though, and so was I, so I just held her there for a few hours, watching her peaceful, relaxed face.

If someone had told me three years ago that I would be so happy to spend a third of my time watching someone sleep there's no way I would have believed them. I cherished these moments more than she could ever know.

"Hmm."

I had been looking down at her hand, holding it in mine as I tilted it and watched the small eight-coloured rainbows dance in the facets of the little diamonds, but looked up at her face again when she made the noise. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she had the most adorable pout on her face. I loosened my hold on her when she shifted around in my lap, but when she started pushing against my chest I picked her up quickly and laid her down on the bed. She would just end up hurting herself if I held her and she started thrashing around.

I got up and went back out to shut off the lights, and folded the blanket over the back of the couch and turned off the television.

"No…"

I dashed back over to the bedroom quickly, and froze when I saw the tears on her cheeks. Her breathing was even though, so I knew she was still asleep.

"Please, no," I panicked a little. I hated watching her when she had nightmares, but I knew it would scare her if I woke her out of it. "Charlie… No, please wake up, please." A sharp pain shot through my chest, and I sat down next to her carefully. I wasn't going to let her suffer through this one.

"It's okay Isabella," I said in a gentle voice. "I'm right here."

"Edward, he won't wake up…"

"I know honey, but it's going to be okay." I moved closer to her side, and when I slid my arm under her pillow she rolled into my side, clutching onto my shirt very gently.

"Please don't leave me," she pleaded quietly, and I held onto her tightly.

"Never. I swear." I kissed the top of her head gently, and after a minute I felt her relax against me. She was silent for the rest of the night, though she did roll away from me two hours later and threw her pillow on the floor. When she went still again I carefully lifted her head, sliding my arm and my own pillow underneath her. When she leaned into me I smiled and wrapped my other arm around her waist.

I was a little less hesitant waking her up this time, smiling as I trailed the tip of my nose down the pulse in her neck. It was so much easier to just appreciate her intoxicating scent when I got to be with her like this. It was harder when I spent time away from her, like I had to start all over again. She shifted slightly, and I slowly started kissing up her neck. As I went higher she stretched in my arms, pressing her body into mine. I took in a slow breath, letting it out quickly in an attempt to restrain myself. She laughed lightly, shrugging away from my cold breath.

"Good morning," I said, and loosened my hold on her. I couldn't control my hand as it slid over her hip though, fighting between wanting to hold her to me again and needing her to eat. She rolled over in my arms, and slid her arms around my neck as she smiled up at me. There was no trace of unease from her nightmare in her eyes. "Did you get enough sleep?" She nodded, and I gave her a quick, soft kiss before tossing the blankets off of us.

I waited for her in the kitchen, keeping myself busy by reading a recipe that Isabella had written out and left on the counter. She came into the kitchen, smiling brightly as she easily made her way around me, made herself some toast and started cutting up some fruit. As she tossed a strawberry into her mouth she leaned up on the tips of her toes, stretching up to the second shelf in the cupboard and grabbed the little plastic jar of pills. She took two, swallowing them back easily and putting the bottle back on a lower shelf before running to take her bread out of the toaster.

When she was done eating I took her plate before she could stand up, and started washing it for her. Esme had a dishwasher, I never saw her washing things by hand the way Isabella did. "Would you like a dishwasher?"

"No, I like washing them by hand," she said in an easy voice.

"I don't think that's normal," I said with a laugh. Isabella was anything but normal though. I looked over at her when I put the plate away, and she was waving her fingers in front of her, looking at her ring with a smile on her face. It was a hard thing to explain, the feeling I got while seeing her wearing my mother's ring. She caught me watching her, and smiled over at me, unembarrassed.

"You like that, don't you?" She said in a teasing voice. I was next to her in half a second, leaning over her.

"More than you could ever imagine," I told her honestly. She blushed, and I kissed her quickly. I loved feeling the heat of her face radiating against mine. I knew that this was against her morning rules though, and when I let her go she smiled at me and ran over to the bathroom and shut the door. I walked over to the bedroom casually, got changed quickly, and made the bed before lying back down on it. She turned on the shower.

"Is this why Alice wanted me to come over today? Her order didn't actually come early, did it?"

I laughed, she was very quick to figure it out. "No, it didn't. She was very frustrated not being able to see your reply."

"I bet," she said easily.

When she came out of the washroom a little later, she walked across the room in her robe while combing her wet hair, smiling at me before walking into the closet. I listened to her shuffle around through her clothes for a while before coming out, and my body froze as I watched her walk back to the bathroom casually. She was wearing a shirt I had never seen on her before; the material wrapped around the back of her neck, but left her back completely bare down to her waist. It was made of a silk that was so dark purple that it was almost black. I heard her blow dryer turn on and knew she would be in there for a while, and seeing that she had left the door wide open I cautiously walked into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. I saw her smile in the mirror, and watched as she piled a bunch of her hair on top of her head with a big clip, and slowly pulled a round brush through small sections of her hair as she held her blow dryer against it. It was interesting to watch as she seemed to straighten out each damp curl and dropped the straight, smooth sections down as she un clipped her hair in did the process over again another twenty-two times. It seemed like a lot of work, and I wondered if it made her arms tired.

She let out a small sigh as she set down her hair dryer once she finished. "I feel like it's taking longer and longer every day to dry this. Do you think I should cut it?"

I got up and walked over to her at a human pace as I watched her sweep her long hair over one shoulder. I stopped just behind her, and ran my fingers through it slowly, and felt my fingertips tingle with electricity as they brushed down the skin of her back. "No," I told her honestly.

"Okay," she said easily. Her eyes seemed a little distracted as she ran a brush through it one last time, and she smiled to herself as she walked out of the washroom and turned off the light. I was right on her heels, and as soon as she stepped past the door way I just couldn't wait any longer to hold her. More quickly than she would have been able to see, I slid my hands around her waist, getting a thrill of feeling her hot skin directly against mine. In the same second I had lifted her up and sat down on the couch in the living room, pulling her down on my lap. She laughed, the speed messing her hair up, and tried to straighten it back out as she smiled. I grinned back at her, and slid my hand up her back while resisting the urge to rip off the dark purple silk that was hiding the rest of her from me. "When do you want to go over?" She asked easily.

"Whenever you feel like it," I said, trying to match her tone. As much as I was happy to introduce my _fiancé_ to my family, I had no desire to share her company with them right now. _Especially_ when she looked like this. I was distracted from the thought when her smile turned a little nervous.

"Alice is probably going to have some questions."

Alice always had a million questions. "Like what?"

"She'll probably want to know when." Her face turned bright red and she glanced away from me as she spoke.

"I'd do it today, right this very minute if you agreed to it," I told her honestly. She smiled.

"But don't you want me to get a pretty dress?" Her voice was teasing, but I couldn't help picture her in a white dress, smiling as she walked down an isle towards _me._

"Okay. I don't want to wait though, I want to call you my wife as soon as possible." I leaned in and kissed her, "Though fiancé sounds very nice also."

She laughed again, and I couldn't help holding her a little more tightly. "Okay, so soon. A couple weeks?" I thought about it quickly, and decided I could probably manage to wait a couple more weeks. She watched me for a long minute after I agreed. "So, just to clarify, this is real right? You actually want to marry me in a couple of weeks?"

I cupped her cheek on one hand, smiling when she leaned into it. I was still having trouble believing this was real too, but it was. "This is very much real."

"Does your family know?"

I forgot to text Alice, but she probably would have seen us coming over to tell them today and told the others. "They know that I've been wanting to ask you for a long time now, unless Alice figured out your answer, which I'm pretty sure she has, then they don't know."

"How long?" She asked curiously.

"Since before we even started dating," I said, being honest with her once again. She shook her head slightly, grinning before leaning in and kissing me. I panicked when she pulled away suddenly, her eyes going wide as she covered her mouth with her hands. She jumped up to her feet. "What?" I asked quickly, following her as I stood up, scanning the room for some sign of danger.

"We're taking _my_ car," she whispered excitedly. I relaxed, laughing loudly, and followed her as she hastily threw on her jacket and a pair of dark grey leather boots.

I smiled sadly. If she had tried walking in those shoes two years ago she wouldn't have made it across the room without falling, and now it seemed effortless to her. She still had her moments, but she had changed so much. She changed more and more every day, and even though my love for her grew as she did, it still made me sad to see how fast time passed for her, and for me.

She was thrilled as she got to drive her Christmas present for the first time, her smile was so bright that it almost made her seem to glow. I wanted to make her smile like that every day. I was amused with just watching her race around the outskirts of town for the first hour before I even tried to start up a conversation. I had just warned her of a speed trap a couple kilometers ahead and she quickly slowed down.

"You know Alice is going to want to do the wedding," I told her casually. She grinned. "What sort of ceremony do you want to have?"

Her eyes flickered over to me briefly. "What would you like to do?"

"Nope, I asked you first." I really wanted to know what _she_ wanted, before Alice influenced her. She was trying too hard to make everyone else around her happy, but I wanted this to be about _her_. She was quiet for a while, watching the road carefully as she barely drove over the speed limit.

"I'd like something small, I don't want a big fancy dinner or anything like that. I just want to be with you." I saw an almost guilty expression on her face. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. That sounds perfect with me. Besides, there's only the eight of us right? It would probably be a little silly to have anything too big, though we'll have a hard time convincing Alice of that."

"Do you have any preferences, or should we just let Alice have fun? She would love that," she said with an adoring smile.

"I don't mind if you don't. Maybe we could get Emmett ordained on the internet and get him to marry us," I said teasingly, but she smiled happily.

"That would be hilarious," she said with a laugh. "So I'm taking it that you don't want to invite your cousins?"

"No, I don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Oh… Okay." She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"It's not that I don't want them to meet you," I told her quickly. "I'm just worried that the more people that know about you, the less safe you will be." She gave me a small smile, and I saw in her eyes that she understood.

We did eventually go over to the house, and as soon as she put the car in park I was out and opening her door for her. She smiled as she got out, and held on to my left arm as we walked over to the front steps.

"They're not talking, is that a bad sign?" Emmett whispered. Isabella stopped when I did in front of the door.

"Shh, he'll hear you," Rose said, smacking him. I could hear it all in their thoughts though. I hadn't left Isabella's side since I proposed, and Alice hadn't been able to see a thing about either of us. Since I hadn't called they had taken it as a bad sign, and I grinned. When I looked over at Isabella she raised an eyebrow at me curiously, but remained very silent.

_They don't know,_ I mouthed silently and she smiled too. It was very rare that this ever happened, and I pulled my arm away from Isabella and stuffed my hands into my pockets. I saw in her eyes that she knew I just wanted to let it bother them for another minute or so. She gave the slightest nod, and her smile disappeared easily and went into that careful mask that I hadn't seen her wear in so long. She walked ahead of me and opened the door before walking inside, and I followed behind her while putting the same neutral expression on my own face.

Jasper knew that I was faking immediately, but the others were too distracted to notice as he rolled his eyes and smiled.

_I'm so sorry sweetie_, Esme said, trying to resist the urge to run over and hug me. I noticed that Isabella had carefully stuffed her hands into the pockets of her black leather jacket as well.

_I can't believe she would say no_, Alice thought, more disappointed about Isabella not becoming her official sister than me being rejected. I was in too much of a good mood to let that bother me though. I stopped next to Isabella and we stood there silently for a moment.

I grinned as I saw her take her left hand out of her pocket and casually tuck her hair behind her ear, and I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into my side as Esme gasped loudly, covering her mouth with her hands. Everyone else was frozen for a minute before they all smiled happily.

Suddenly she was pulled away from me by my adopted mother as she hugged her tightly. Carlisle clapped me on the shoulder with a bright smile. _Congratulations son, I'm very happy for you_. He couldn't completely hide the sadness that he felt for me though. I thanked him before Emmett punched me hard in the shoulder.

_Never thought you'd actually find the balls to do it bro, but I'm happy you finally did,_ He thought while laughing aloud. I just rolled my eyes. As soon as Esme let go of me and Rosalie released Isabella I pulled her back into my arms. It was just too hard not to be touching her when her face glowed like that with her beautiful smile. Unfortunately when everyone calmed down and moved to sit back down on the couches, she pulled my face down to hers to give me a quick kiss and a smile before grabbing Alice and hurrying away. I frowned slightly as I watched her disappear up the large staircase, her arm linked through Alice's, then sat down between Esme and Carlisle.

"I'm so happy for you," Esme told me again while hugging me tightly. "Does this mean that she changed her mind about-"

"No," I told her quickly, before she could finish her sentence. I saw it in her mind.

"She could still change her mind," she said quietly, squeezing me again.

"She did," I said in a whisper. I really wanted my family to understand this, and even though it would be hell for me, I knew they would be a little comforted.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked hopefully.

"Well, you know what Alice told her," I said, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. Jasper was having a hard time not holding it against me, because even he hadn't thought what Alice did was a fair move. He wouldn't be upset with her even if she had slaughtered an entire village though. "When she came to after words, she told me I could change her."

"Then why didn't you?" He said angrily. He knew every second that she remained human could be her last.

"Because the only reason she could agree was because she was trying to protect me. She was terrified, and I could tell that she loathed herself for even saying the words. I could never do that to her, but she told me she couldn't live another moment knowing that I…" I didn't finish the sentence, they knew what I meant. "So I promised her I wouldn't. I don't know how I'll do it but… if it means she can live the rest of her time happily, then I have to. For her."

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and hiding my face in my hands. They were all watching me, stunned. My head snapped up when I heard Jasper's accusing thought though. "I would _never_ break a promise to Isabella," I growled angrily.

"We'll all be here with you Edward, you won't be alone," Esme told me fiercely, taking my face in her hands and turning me to face her. She was hurt for me, but she was so filled with gratitude that Isabella had made me choose this. I gave her a small smile of acknowledgement.

The atmosphere in the room changed quickly as we listened to the faint sound of Alice and Isabella talking on the other side of the house. Jasper smiled as he felt Alice's excitement at being permitted to plan the ceremony, and beamed when he was hit with the thick wall of joy and love that she felt when she asked Alice to be her maid of honor.

I frowned again when Isabella and her made plans to leave on their own for the afternoon, but Esme tried to cheer me up. "So are you guys planning on taking a honeymoon? You're more than welcome to use the island," she told me happily.

I hadn't even thought of that, and considered it for a moment. "I'd like to take her away on a trip, but you know how she is with planes. Even if she wasn't afraid of them though, flying can cause a lot of trouble for people at risk of having blood clots. I'll see if she wants to do something, but I wouldn't be surprised if she just wanted to stay home."

"You could take her camping or something? She seems into that sort of thing," Emmett offered, but I shook my head.

"She used to do that with Jacob, it upsets her too much going now." That fact didn't bother me, I couldn't bring myself to dislike Jacob Black's role in her life. He was a part of her, and I loved _every_ part of her.

"Bed and breakfast maybe?"

"Nope, she down plays it a lot, but I can tell it really bothers her when she can feel the people in the rooms around her." The rest of the family were just as stumped as I was. I wasn't too worried though, because I knew Isabella didn't care about that sort of thing. I smiled as I watched her through Alice's mind, going through her closet and looking at different types of fabric. I frowned a little when Alice said they were good to go, gave Esme a quick hug and said goodbye to everyone, and dashed over to the stairs to meet them. She had only been gone about twenty minutes but I just hated not being able to touch her. I plucked her off of the stairs, not wanting to wait for her to take the last three steps.

"Do you mind?" She asked quietly. She was trying hard to keep her annoyance of almost asking me for my permission off of her face, but I was getting a little bit better at seeing past her careful control of her emotions.

"When will you be back?" I asked, praying that I wasn't pushing her too far. It had been a long time since she had lost her temper, and even though it was a trait about her that I found intensely… arousing, it was also completely terrifying.

"Eight," Alice said, showing me a blurry image of her pulling up in front of our cabin in Isabella's Ferrari, concentrating on the time displayed on the dash. I was extremely lucky that she had been able to give me that much, and she was begging me mentally not to take this time with Isabella away from her. Isabella pulled her small bottle of pills out of her big purse, shaking them slightly so I'd notice them. I hadn't even realized that she'd taken them out of the cupboard before we'd left.

"We'll stop for dinner at seven on the dot," she said in an easy yet firm voice. Her patience was wearing thin, and I pushed my worries to the back of my mind, forcing my body to relax before I leaned down to kiss her.

"Shall I clear out the entire room?" I asked in an easy voice, referring to the task at home she had for me. It was a little unusual, because aside from letting me hold her truck up for her when Rosalie was busy, or letting me show her a song on the piano, it was incredibly rare that she ever asked for my assistance in anything. She was right though, I would not have let her move any of those shelves or tables. It was not worth the risk of her possibly cutting or bruising herself.

"Everything except for my sewing stuff?" Ah there it was. Not only in her voice but in her eyes, guilt and unease. I suspected that the biggest part in her reasoning was to keep me busy, to distract me from worrying about her. She knew me so well, she could read me like no one I had ever met before, but I had plenty of room in my mind to do both tasks consecutively. At least she was actually asking for something though, it was a step forward. I smiled at her easily and nodded, not trusting myself to speak while it pained me so much to give her the space that she needed when I needed none.

I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her up to my height as I kissed her fiercely. I think she was expecting a shorter kiss, because she seemed surprised when I held onto her. I felt her grin when she relaxed, and I pulled back slightly to look at her face, still holding her tightly. She had the most brilliant smile on her face, those dark eyes sparkling happily and her cheeks slightly flushed. She just seemed to glow, and I swear for a moment I felt a movement in my chest where my heart used to beat.

If I didn't set her down now I didn't think I would ever be able to again. I gently put her back down on her feet, taking her left hand and kissing her ring before dashing outside. I took a longer route home, just enjoying the feeling of running and letting it relax me. I got to work as soon as I got in, only taking a minute to put on some music to erase the silence, the absence of Isabella's heart beat in the house. I shifted around our desks upstairs first to make a bit more room, before moving the empty safe upstairs along with the few large boxes I just hadn't bothered to unpack. I decided to open them anyways, leaning my two guitars against the wall by the window and my reading chair. I loved the sounds of guitar, and had gotten first an acoustic then a classical to try to play, but it had never really ever sounded right when I played. I was much better with my piano, but had kept the instruments because they were works of art in themselves. I got distracted, taking a few minutes to tune them since they had been in storage for so long, then unpacked the few boxes of coats and clothes, a few boxes of knick knacks that I had gotten as gifts over the years and couldn't bring myself to let go of. I had this nice hand crafted coat rack that I had acquired in nineteen thirty-two that I put up by the front door. I sorted through some old documents, leaving out a bunch of my old IDs on Isabella's desk thinking she might get a kick out of them before putting the rest of them away in my filing cabinet.

I left this upholstered antique bench that I unpacked against one of the walls, and tidied up Isabella's sewing desk before moving it to under the window, set up her mannequin that she had left boxed up next to it, and brought her desk chair down to put in front of it. I dusted quickly, and opened the window a crack the let some new air into the room. There was no overhead light in this room, so I grabbed my tall reading lamp from upstairs and set it by her desk, plugging it into the outlet controlled by the light switch, and inspected my finished result.

The whole process took less than an hour, and I stopped, looking at the now clutter-free room.

My CD stopped at that same moment coincidently, and the sudden silence was numbing. Knowing that I had hours to go, and had just hunted two days ago, I decided to get in my car and go for a drive.

I was much more relaxed with the purring sound of the engine, and felt my face slowly shift back into a smile. I was getting married. The most incredible woman in the world had agreed to be mine. Having that run around and around in my mind had me riding on some sort of high. Even with everything else, I was just so incredibly, unbelievably happy.

I drove into town with a large grin on my face, and turned around when I passed a florist. It had taken me much too long to do this, and I went inside and inspected their refrigerated room of flowers. I grinned happily when I saw that they had actual purple roses, and picked every single one, along with a white one to match each of them. So I was standing there, holding a giant armful of roses, when the sales woman walked in and smiled at me.

"Are these for someone special?" She asked curiously.

"Special would be an understatement," I told her truthfully, grinning.

_Oh, that is just too sweet,_ she thought happily. "It would be less expensive if you were to-"

"No, I don't care about the price. I want these ones. I didn't even know there was such a thing as purple roses, she'll love them." I wanted this exact number, not one of the prepackaged bouquets. "It feels like it's missing something though."

"Well, baby's breath goes really with roses, and fern leaves," She walked over to the other side of the room, picking out bunches of each when I nodded happily. "And we also have a wide selection of vases in the other room." I thanked her when she showed me over to the selection, taking the flowers from me to bring over to the counter. I found one made of little squares of blue, green and violet glass that looked big enough, and she put water and some sort of powder into the water after asking me how long it would take me to get them home and telling me it wouldn't be good for them to be out of water for a half hour.

I saw in her mind that she was a little worried I wouldn't be able to pay for them, and I offered to do so to ease her worries before she started cutting the ends of the stems and handing them to me to arrange in the vase. She was a sweet old woman, and I didn't mind her quiet company in the task. Her heart beat sounded nothing like Isabella's, but it was a bit easier just hearing the sound of one.

"Is this your first time buying flowers?" She asked curiously as I carefully set each flower in the vase, frowning because I felt like I was doing it wrong somehow.

"Yes," I admitted with a laugh.

"Well you're doing a great job," she said with a small chuckle.

"I hope so, my girlfriend agreed to marry me yesterday. These are for her." It felt so amazing to say those words aloud, even to a complete stranger.

"Congratulations, I'm sure she will love them."

I thanked her again when we finished before I left, and frowned when I got into my car. I didn't want to lean them in against the seat and risk flattening them, but they would fall over if I just stood the vase up. I resigned to hold them in between my legs as I used one arm to steer and one to shift on my way back home. I had almost gone into the liquor store to buy her a bottle of wine but had to stop myself. There were a lot of controversies on drinking while taking blood thinners, and even though I knew there hadn't been any negative result in test trials so far besides for heavy drinkers, I didn't really want to play with the risk. She wasn't a big drinker or anything like that, but I worried that this might upset her. I stopped and got her chocolate instead, she loved anything with chocolate in it.

I was much more relaxed when I got back home, setting the flowers on the window sill behind her sewing desk and leaving the chocolate out on the coffee table in the living room. I smiled, feeling pretty proud of myself, and grabbed a text book off of my desk to read out of habit.

Damn, I forgot to call the university. A quick glance at the clock told me I still had an hour and a half before the office closed, and to save on time I just grabbed the documents I would need and ran there instead. It wasn't as easy to do Isabella's withdrawal, but after explaining the situation to her painfully we got everything done up to where I needed her signature, and took the paper work home with me. When I got back I threw my muddy clothes into the washer and grabbed a shower to wash the dirt off of myself, then relaxed on Isabella's piano bench and played until she got back.

I listened to them pull up the driveway, and I was in the garage and opening Isabella's door for her the second she parked. She was smiling brightly up at me, looking completely happy and relaxed, and I pulled her into my arms and kissed her as I closed her door, pressing her up against her car.

As much as I would be happy to spend every second with her, I knew that I was going to drive her crazy if I did that. Now that she didn't have her classes anymore, I was going to have to remind myself that she was the type of person who did need personal space.

She looked close to tears when she saw the flowers, and it bothered me a little that such a small gesture would do that to her. I chastised myself once again for having never done it before. Alice was smiling at her, giving me a thumbs up from behind her before leaving. I waited patiently on the couch while she got changed, and when she walked over and saw the box of chocolates she laughed. I watched with a smile as she leaned over me, placing both of her hands on my shoulders as she kissed me. She opened it up and took one out of the box before sitting down next to me, and sighed happily after popping it into her mouth. I pulled her into my side, and kissed her hair as she leaned into me.

"So did you find everything you were looking for?" I asked her, even though I had seen before she left in Alice's mind that she would. I used any excuse I could to listen to the sound of her voice though. Unfortunately she just nodded. "Why do you want to make your own dress? Couldn't you just buy one?" I didn't see why she would want to go through so much effort. She looked up at me, and a small smile played on her lips.

"I could have, but… I just really wanted to avoid the shopping. Going to a bunch of crowded stores to find one that I actually like, then having to get it altered. I didn't want to deal with the migraines. Plus, I just really like sewing, it's relaxing." I should have known that, and felt bad for not coming to the conclusion myself. I was moved that she was being so honest with me though, and not trying to hide it from me anymore. Her face turned worried as she watched me for a minute, and spoke very quickly. "If you'd prefer for me to buy one instead I will though."

I shook my head and kissed her, realizing she had misunderstood my moment of silence. I've seen her sewing skills, not only on her golden dress she had made that once, but in the things she had made for Alice, and the fact that she had hand made all of her curtains not only in her last house but in ours as well. Having her make her own dress for me was a gift in itself, and I couldn't wait to see what she came up with. I did worry that she might have been hiding other motivations though. "No, whatever you want to do is fine with me. But you know if there was any problem with the cost I'd gladly buy you any dress you wanted, right?"

She rolled her eyes at me while smiling. "Edward, you know very well that I don't need any money," she told me seriously.

"I know, but still," I cupped her face in my hands, looking seriously into her eyes. "I would give you anything in the world that you wanted Isabella. Anything at all. I just want you to be happy."

She smiled, sliding her hands on top of mine. "I don't need anything Edward, as long as I'm with you I _am_ happy."

I couldn't help but smile at her, it was amazing how deep she could hit me with these words that seemed so easy for her. I kissed her quickly, holding her tightly against me. When I let her go it was only to turn her and pull her into my lap, still feeling like she was too far away. She was smiling happily up at me, and the beauty of it froze me in my tracks. After knowing her for almost three years, she was still able to do that to me on a daily basis. She'll never understand just how much I love her.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven: Partner

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty Seven :: Partner**

**Isabella**

I smiled when I was woken up once again by the feeling of Edward's lips on my neck. His arm around my waist was holding me firmly against his chest. I stretched my neck slightly as his lips travelled up to my ear, and laughed when I felt his cool breath wash across it.

"Good morning," he said in a deep voice, and I hummed as his hand slid down my hip. I rolled over in his arms to look at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and smiling up at him. "Did you get enough sleep?" He asked. I remembered falling asleep in his arms on the couch very late last night, but I felt great and nodded. He knew by now that it was futile to get me to talk this early in the morning.

He kissed me gently on the lips before throwing the blankets off of us, and I rolled out of bed and used the washroom before having some breakfast.

He took my plate as soon as I finished, and started washing it for me. "Would you like a dishwasher?" He asked curiously.

"No, I like washing them by hand," I said. I was staring at my ring, smiling as I waved my fingers. It was so pretty.

"I don't think that's normal," he said with a laugh. His tone was a little off though, and I looked up at him. His eyes were watching me with an intense, smouldering look. It made my stomach flutter slightly, and I smiled up at him, waving my fingers again.

"You like that, don't you?" I asked in a teasing voice, and he was standing in front of me faster than I could see him move.

"More than you could ever imagine," he said in a deep voice, leaning over me. My face flushed red, and he kissed me quickly.

As much as I enjoyed the kiss, I couldn't let myself get into it with morning breath and the taste of fruit loops still fresh in my mouth. He let me escape after a couple minutes and I ran over to the washroom.

"Is this why Alice wanted me to come over today?" I asked over the sound of the shower as I carefully took off my ring and set it in the little dish on the vanity. "Her order didn't actually come early, did it?"

I heard him laugh, and could feel him just outside in our bedroom. "No, it didn't," he said lightly. "She was very frustrated not being able to see your reply."

"I bet," I said with a laugh. I hurried through my shower, and was still combing my hair as I walked over to the closet. Edward was lying back against the head board, both of his arms folded behind his neck while he watched me with a glowing smile. I grinned back at him and tried to pick out something to wear. I put on a pair of my nicest jeans, and this really pretty shirt that I knew Edward would love. It was a dark purple silk, almost like a halter top, and had practically no back on it. I put on my diamond necklace, and walked across the room slowly on my way back to the bathroom while feeling his eyes watching me. I started the long process of blow drying my hair, and smiled as he snuck into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub.

"I feel like it's taking longer and longer every day to dry this," I said with a sigh, putting the hairdryer down when I finished. "Do you think I should cut it?" I brushed it over one shoulder, measuring back the length to what it had been like when I first met the Cullens a few years ago.

Edward was behind me though, and combed his fingers slowly through my hair, his fingertips lightly brushing against my back. "No," he said simply.

"Okay," I said easily. At least I wouldn't be dealing with the hassle of it always getting stuck in the crappy chairs at school anymore. I smiled, and Edward followed me closely as I walked out of the washroom, flicking the light off after me. As soon as I stepped into the bedroom, he picked me up, and sat me down in his lap on the couch in the living room. I laughed, trying to brush the hair out of my face. His cold hand felt hot as it rested on my lower back. "When do you want to go over?"

"Whenever you feel like it," he said easily.

"Alice is probably going to have some questions," I said nervously, and he grinned.

"Like what?"

"She'll probably want to know when," I said shyly.

"I'd do it today, right this very minute if you agreed to it," he said happily.

"But don't you want me to get a pretty dress?" I asked with a smile, and his grin grew bigger.

"Okay. I don't want to wait though, I want to call you my wife as soon as possible," he said, kissing me. "Though fiancé sounds very nice also."

I laughed loudly, and kissed him again. "Okay, so soon. A couple weeks?"

"Okay," he said.

"So, just to clarify, this is real right? You actually want to marry me in a couple of weeks?" I was still having trouble believing it.

"This is very much real," he said, cupping my face in his hand. I smiled at him while leaning into him.

"Does your family know?"

"They know that I've been wanting to ask you for a long time now, unless Alice figured out your answer, which I'm pretty sure she has, then they don't know."

"How long?" I asked with a curious smile.

"Since before we even started dating," He said seriously. I shook my head before leaning in and kissing him.

I pulled away quickly, covering my mouth while I jumped up excitedly. He seemed scared for a moment. "What?"

"We're taking _my_ car over," I told him, practically vibrating in excitement. He laughed loudly, jumping up to his feet. I threw on my black leather jacket and a nice pair of shoes before hurrying out to the garage.

I started her up, sighing as always at the beautiful, quiet rumble of the engine. Today I would actually get to move her though. Oh god, I wanted to cry, but knew Edward wouldn't let me drive if I did. I took a steadying breath as the garage door rolled open, and gently eased the car out onto our smooth driveway. She glided effortlessly around the bends of our long drive, and I stopped just before the road.

"You'll keep an ear open for me?" I checked.

He grinned before giving me a nod, and I peeled out of the driveway.

It was amazing beyond words. She had been everything I had dreamed she would be and more, and I hadn't thought it possible for a car to run that smoothly. It was a few hours before I pulled her to a stop in front of the Cullen house.

I would have to find a new name to call this place, because in a few weeks my house would be a Cullen house too. I smiled at the thought, leaning into Edward as we walked up the front steps. He stopped in front of the front door, and smiled brightly. I raised an eyebrow curiously at him.

_They don't know_, he mouthed silently, and I joined him in his conspirative smile. They must be going insane right now. Edward let go of me, winking as he stuffed one hand in his pocket and opened the door for me. I nodded, and walked in ahead of him, keeping a careful distance in between us as we walked over to their living room.

They all looked worriedly at us, everyone except for Jasper whose face was carefully neutral, playing along.

Very slowly, I lifted my left hand to brush my hair behind my ear, and Esme gasped before covering her mouth with her hands.

I was pulled into a lot of tight hugs before Edward was able to steal me back from his family, and I was happy to see that they were all smiling. It looked very forced on Emmett's face, but he was trying, and I appreciated it. I didn't want to cry anymore. After talking with them for a little while I left Edward to talk with his family as I quickly stole Alice away, and we ran up to her room.

I always felt silly calling this a room. Their upper floor was spilt into four sections really, each of them about the size of our house. Alice and Jasper shared the front of the west wing, Rose and Emmett in the back, and Esme and Carlisle had the east wing next to Carlisle's office and a large library and computer room. Once we were inside I dropped down on the couch in her living room area and she quickly joined me.

"When?" She asked with a big smile after she gave me a long hug. It was nice that things felt normal with us again.

"We want to do it soon, like in a couple weeks."

She took my hands tightly in hers, leaning forward and looking me closely in the eyes. "You _have_ to let me do it for you Belle. I'll make it perfect, you know I will."

I smiled adoringly at her. "As if I would let anyone else do it. We just want something small though, nothing too fancy. It's only going to be the eight of us." She frowned but accepted my terms. "That's not why I wanted to talk to you though." She raised a perfect eyebrow at me, and I couldn't help the corner of my mouth from twitching up. The words just sounded so ridiculous in my mind. "Alice, will you be my maid of honor?"

She was squeezing me tightly in her arms the second the words were out of my mouth. "Thank you! Of course I will." Her voice was almost shaky, and I squeezed her back as tightly as I could. When she did finally let me go, I leaned back against the back of the couch.

"And the first thing we need to do, today if possible, is buy the materials for my dress," I told her quietly. She grinned.

"You really think Edward's going to let you out of his sight long enough to go shopping?" She said teasingly. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to ask him to clear some space for us in the spare room at my house. I doubt he would want me moving around a bunch of boxes and pointy objects. Would we have time to do it today? I have my Ferrari here," I said with a grin.

"Depends, show me what you need." We ran into her closet, a room that was bigger than her bedroom, and went through her clothes to show her the fabrics I was looking for. She had every sort imaginable on at least one of the many articles, and tried to look around me to see if she would be able to find them. "Yes, we're good. Let's go."

Edward met us at the stairs, lifting me off of the third one from the bottom when I reached it. "Do you mind?" I asked. I would go either way but I was trying to be nice about it for him.

"When will you be back?" I didn't let myself get annoyed, I knew he was scared.

"Eight," Alice said, and I pulled my bottle of pills that I had taken out of my purse.

"We'll stop for dinner at seven on the dot," I told him firmly. He relaxed, and leaned in to give me a kiss.

"Shall I clear out the entire room?"

"Everything except for my sewing stuff?" I asked guilty. I hated asking him for favours like this, but I knew he wouldn't want me to risk cutting myself and it would be easier for him if he kept busy. He nodded happily though, giving me a much longer kiss and then gently kissing the ring on my finger before running outside. After saying good bye to the others we hopped into my car and took off, Alice trying to watch ahead for speed traps as we sped out of town.

"So are you really going to have time to make a dress?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know, will I?" I asked teasingly. She tried to scowl, but it didn't work with the grin she had. "But really, weather wise? You know we'd like to have it on a nice day if possible. What's the weather going to look like?"

She shook her head in disbelief, then I saw her go still, her face relaxing as her eyes seemed to glaze over. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, even though I had slowed down these back roads had lots of twists and turns, but I saw her smile brightly after almost two minutes. "The fifth of June. That's sixteen days."

"Oh, that's plenty of time to make a dress," I said happily. "The design is much simpler than the yellow dress I had made for Halloween," I told her confidently. "And without school I'll have plenty of time."

"Are you going to miss it? School?"

"I don't think so. I loved the material and work, but the headaches just made it too hard to enjoy. I have plenty of other things that I enjoy to keep me busy though," I said happily. "I can't wait to tackle that backyard."

"Can I help? When you start?"

"Sure," I said with a smile. Alice hated gardening, or anything that got her clothes dirty, and I knew this was her way of saying she wanted to spend more time with me.

We got to the store and I was happy that it was deserted except for the two employees that worked there. Alice led me knowingly to the materials I wanted, and after having them cut we stopped so I could eat something before heading home. Alice insisted on running from my house, and carried my things inside for me once I pulled into my garage. Edward was there, opening my door for me and kissing me quickly.

I followed Alice into the spare room after forcing myself to pull away from Edward. My sewing desk was centered under the window next to a big lamp, my chair from my desk upstairs in front of it. He had even set up my mannequin for me in the corner. What caught my eyes before all of that was the large bouquet of purple and white roses sitting in a glass vase on the window sill.

I walked up to them and touched them, and I was hit by their beautiful scent as soon as I got close. I felt a tight sensation in my chest; no one had ever bought me flowers before. "What are these for?" I asked nervously.

"Do I need an excuse to buy my fiancé flowers?" He asked lightly. I grinned when he said fiancé, and turned around and smiled at him when I felt his hands on my hips.

"Thank you," I whispered, and kissed him quickly, forcing myself not to cry. Alice said goodbye, saying she'd come back over tomorrow afternoon. After carefully laying out my materials so that they wouldn't crease, I put on some comfortable pyjamas and sat down with Edward on the couch. There was a giant box of chocolates on the table, and I laughed before leaning over and kissing him again. I thanked him before tearing it open and trying one; it was the best chocolate I've ever tasted.

"So did you find everything you were looking for?" He asked casually, pulling me into his side and kissing my hair. I nodded before resting my head against his hard chest. "Why do you want to make your own dress? Couldn't you just buy one?" His tone was curious, and when I looked up I saw that slightly frustrated look he got whenever he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I smiled.

"I could have, but… I just really wanted to avoid the shopping. Going to a bunch of crowded stores to find one that I actually like, then having to get it altered. I didn't want to deal with the migraines. Plus, I just really like sewing, it's relaxing." I gave him a worried look. "If you'd prefer for me to buy one instead I will though."

He shook his head and gave me a quick kiss. "No, whatever you want to do is fine with me. But you know if there was any problem with the cost I'd gladly buy you any dress you wanted, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, you know very well that I don't need any money," I told him seriously. He hadn't let me help pay for the house, and I had made quite the profit on selling my last one. One semester of classes had only been a few thousand dollars. I wasn't marrying Edward because he was rich.

"I know, but still," he took my face delicately in his hands. "I would give you anything in the world that you wanted Isabella. Anything at all. I just want you to be happy."

I slid my hands on top of his, smiling at him. "I don't need anything Edward, as long as I'm with you I _am_ happy."

He beamed back at me, pulling me tightly against him while he kissed me.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was easy to keep busy after that. There was almost always someone at my house, usually Alice and Esme, and although none of them were allowed in my sewing room I did make sure to leave my craft every once in a while to socialize.

Alice seemed to be on cloud nine, taking over the ceremony for us. I tried not to worry about it, and just prayed that she kept it small like we asked. She understood my reasoning for not wanting to show anyone what I was working on; my mind was the only one able to keep it a surprise from Edward, and I really wanted to be able to give this to him. She wasn't too busy to keep from hanging out with me though, and I saw her for at least a little while every day. Esme liked to bring me over dinner almost every other day still, and there was always someone with her. I really appreciated it actually, because I always became very engrossed when I got into projects like this. I would sit down at my sewing machine and the hours seemed to go by in minutes.

My life was happy once more though, and it was almost easy to put the knowledge of my sickness to the back of my mind and forget about it. I was much more honest with Edward and the others about my problems, letting them know that even though I loved them all dearly, it just got painful to hang out with all of them at the same time for long periods. Esme did most of my grocery shopping for me, and it actually worked out for her because she had to buy groceries regularly anyways and would have to drive all the way over to the next town to donate them. Now she just brought them over to my place, and there was always more food than I could ever cook in my fridge. Edward seemed completely happy staying almost isolated with me in our cabin in the woods though, even though I was hidden away in the spare room behind a closed door most of the time. Still, feeling him just above me while he read in the study always kept me in a calm mood.

Edward. He just made my life so amazing. I woke up and fell asleep smiling in his arms every day. I had worried what it would be like without classes, but it was just like when we had first moved in. He got better with leaving me alone, running off to do little errands every once in a while, and kept busy with his own things while I did mine. He would always smile excitedly and join me whenever I took a break or stopped to eat though.

But for those short little times I was completely alone at the house, I had found a new hobby. The day after Edward had unpacked the last of his boxes when he cleaned out the spare bedroom for me to work in, I had found the two beautiful guitars in the corner of the attic by his desk. I was attracted specifically to the classical one, a beautiful deep-red wood with silver and mother of pearl inlay. I had been nervous to even touch it at first, but after convincing myself that Edward probably wouldn't mind, I had picked it up. It was heavier than the one I remembered from high school, but the strings felt very soft under my fingers. I hadn't touched a guitar since I left my high school in Seattle, but it felt like I had never put it down. I had forgotten how much I loved it, and even though I had fallen in love with the piano I knew that this would always be my favourite.

My dress was coming along perfectly. I had started with the skirt, a light, delicate breezy material that I did in many layers. The bust was much more difficult, and I had ripped apart a pretty dress I had never worn before to use as a base. I covered it in white silk, folding and manipulating the material in a way that almost made it look like feathers from a distance.

All I had left was the sash that I would be sewing over were the bust and the skirt met. It was my favourite part of the dress design that I had in my mind. After folding the material to the proper size, I spent days hunched over my desk sewing in the beautiful blue and silver broach that had been my great-great grandmother's. It was my favourite piece of jewelry that I had from my mother's things, and I had never worn it before. Clusters of tiny flowers made out of tiny blue sapphire stones and ringed with little leaves made out of a delicate silver webbing. It was just a little more than four inches long, and I accented it with a vine design that I made out of clear little glass and silver beads, wrapping all the way around the dress. They caught and played with the light beautifully.

Edward was in the shower, and I walked as quietly as possible over to our closet and dragged out the heavy full-length mirror. I locked the door once I had in it my sewing room, and slipped on my dress.

I smiled brightly, very proud of the final result. The layered skirt flowed to the ground elegantly around me, and I laughed happily when I saw the way it twirled around me when I spun. When I walked it separated some of the layers, making pieces of it almost see through. That had been the point of the layers though, and there were enough of them so that the dress _wasn't_ actually see-through, even for a vampire I was sure. I was happy that I had chosen to go sleeveless, even if it had been more difficult. I loved it, and just hoped that Edward would too.

After taking it off, I draped it back over my mannequin and covered it in a sheet before laying out on the couch happily and switching on the TV. Edward seemed surprised to see me there so early in the day and immediately sat down next to me.

"There's nothing on," I said easily, handing him the remote. He sat it down on the table, not even glancing at the TV as he leaned over me and kissed me. I smiled against his lips.

"Taking a break?" He asked hopefully. I ginned as his face hovered close to mine.

"No," I said, and laughed when he frowned. "I'm done, actually."

"Really?" He said excitedly, and I nodded. "Can I see it?"

"Sure."

"Really?" He asked again.

"Yup, in four days." He laughed loudly, kissing me again.

"So what would you like to do today then?"

I looked out the window at the beautiful weather. There was a thin layer of clouds covering the sky, but it was warm and dry out. Perfect to go out with my vampire. "Would you like to go kayaking?" I asked hopefully.

He agreed happily, and I got changed while he got our kayaks out of the garage and carried them down to the lake. He lifted me into my kayak when I got down before handing me my oar, and expertly slid into his.

He always let me lead when we did this, and I was a little grateful. I'm sure he could have shot across the lake like a speed boat if he wanted to, but he easily kept up with my pace a few feet behind and to the side of me. It was the first time we had gone out on the lake, and I knew I would be doing it again soon. I loved being on the water, and was glad that we still had the option of doing it here. The giant body of still water was beautiful, ringed in deep jade with the new leaves of spring on all sides.

Edward made sure that I got back in time for dinner though, and I didn't mind. My arms were killing me after a two weeks of intense sewing and paddling hadn't helped that. After eating some of the leftover pasta from yesterday's dinner, I took a nice long shower and dropped into bed, exhausted, next to Edward who was sitting up and reading a book. He put it down quickly though, and I smiled up at him. He grinned back, and shuffled down so that he was lying down next to me on his side. I quickly leaned into him, resting my hands against his chest while I kissed him, and relaxing as his arm wrapped around me and held me firmly against him. When I eased my lips away from his he leaned his forehead against mine, and I smiled brightly up at him. He seemed frozen for a short moment before smiling back.

"I love you Edward. More than you could ever imagine," I whispered, feeling a very tight pressure inside my chest. He kissed me again gently before tucking my head under his chin.

"I love you too," he whispered back in an almost painful voice. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, relaxing into his embrace.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was straddling his lap, sitting in his reading chair while the bright light from outside shined in through the bay window over-looking the lake. I smiled as I watched his skin shimmer faintly, tracing my fingertips over his sculpted face.

"I don't remember the last time I've gone a whole day without seeing you," I said sadly, leaning in and kissing him again. His hands slid up my legs, and he rested one on my hip while the other one came up and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"When you bought our motorcycles," he said easily. "It was one of the loneliest thirty-six hours of my life."

I leaned into him, pressing my body up against his chest while wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. I stared into his eyes for one long minute while he held me tightly, not needing words to express how I felt, before kissing him firmly.

"I don't have to go," he whispered thickly in between kisses.

"Tell that to Alice," I said wryly. "That and you'd have Emmett and Jasper to deal with."

"None of them would stand a chance against me in a fight," He said confidently with a smile in his voice. It wasn't easy to hit someone when they could read what you were going to do in their mind. I laughed, and he took the opportunity to duck his head to the side and start kissing my neck. I leaned my head back with a smile as his cold yet burning lips travelled up my throat. His hands loosened on me as they slid back down my ribs, and played with the hem of my blouse before sliding underneath my shirt. I shivered against him, smiling, and his grip became much tighter around my bare stomach. I kissed him again urgently as I felt his family cross onto our property. Someone started chucking rocks at the side of our house, and I begrudgingly pulled away.

"We should go before they break our window," I said sadly. He kissed me again, and I felt my hair blow around my head furiously before I was being set down by the back door in a second. I sighed sadly, making him grin, before opening up the door and walking onto the back porch.

Everyone was there, and Emmett pulled me into a big bear hug as soon as I saw him and messed up my hair. I scowled at him darkly as he set me back down, trying to fix it. He smiled happily, and I looked over at Jasper and Carlisle, the responsible ones. "Don't get into too much trouble," I said, knowing those words would have been lost on Emmett. What do vampires do for a bachelor party?

Jasper assured me he would keep them all out of jail, and I gave Edward a sad smile before remembering. "Oh! Hold on a second." I ran back inside, up to the study and pulled open my desk drawer before grabbing it and running back downstairs. I handed over the giant roll of one-dollar bills.

"Have fun baby," I said with a big grin before pulling his face down to mine and kissing him firmly. Emmett was laughing loudly. Edward was looking at me with a disbelieving expression and I laughed. His arms were around me in a second.

"Thanks, but I won't be needing it," he said. "God I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," I whispered back happily.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, kissing me again.

"I'll be the one in white," I said in an easy tone. He smiled and kissed me again, lifting me up in his arms and letting my feet dangle in the air below me.

"Okay! That enough, let's go," Emmett said excitedly. I felt Alice dash into the house and come back out with the classical guitar that I had become very attached to. She handed it over to Jasper.

"What are you doing with that?" I asked, making sure to keep the worry out of my voice. I hoped he wasn't giving it away.

"Just lending it to Jasper for tomorrow," Edward said as he was being dragged into the forest. "I love you!"

"Love you too," I said with a laugh, feeling relieved. They disappeared into the woods, and I smiled sadly before leading the others inside.

I was kind of thankful that Esme, Alice and Rose decided to spend the day with me. They kept me busy, Esme puttered around in my kitchen cooking dinner for me, while I spent most of the afternoon in my garage with Rose. I had had a bad habit of bruising and cutting myself while working on my truck, and it was very saddening that I couldn't do it myself any more. She helped while I flushed my transmission, oil and fuel lines, and after we were done with that I hung out with the two of them in my back yard. They took turns throwing plates from this giant box they brought with them while I shot them down. I was fine using my hand gun, but I had told Edward that I would stop using the rifle because of the big bruises it always left on my arm from the recoil. After eating a giant meal I fell asleep leaning against Esme's arm on the couch, too tired for their three glowing minds to even keep me awake.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up in my bed, and rolled over habitually to wrap my arms around Edward. He felt much smaller though, and the high, beautiful laugh that greeted me definitely wasn't his.

"Good morning," Alice said, a giant smile on her face. I smiled back at her, and looked at the clock. It was five after seven and I hadn't taken my pill yet. I jumped out of my bed, running to the kitchen and took them quickly before grabbing a banana.

"Hungry?" Alice asked in a worried tone.

"No, I'm just supposed to take these at the same time every day. I know five minutes probably wouldn't make a difference but… If this is the only thing I can do to stay with him longer than I'll do everything in my power to be very strict about it." I closed my eyes, forcing away the stinging feeling in them.

I was getting married today, I would not cry.

"I'm sorry," she said, hugging me tightly. "I was about to wake you up, but I've never woken somebody up before and didn't know what to do."

"It's okay Alice," I told her truthfully. "So, what's the schedule like for today?" I asked her nervously. She smiled brightly, all of her worry gone.

"We'll stay here until noon, then I'll take you over to the house and get to work," she said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes before leaning over and digging through the fridge. I found a big container of blue berries in there and decided to kill time by making a batch of pancakes from scratch. After eating and cleaning up my mess, I sat with Alice for an hour while by breakfast settled, did an hour of yoga to calm my nerves, then took a very long shower.

After twisting my wet hair back and putting it into a big clip, lathering myself up in moisturizing cream and brushing and flossing my teeth carefully I threw on a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt and stopped by my jewelry box.

I took out a pair of my mother's earrings, plain pearls that had a small matching bracelet. They were my mother's favourite, I had so many pictures of her wearing them, which was precisely why I never wore them. I wanted her with me today, and this was the closest I could come to that.

It was the same reason that I chose Charlie's necklace over my diamond heart. Wearing this was the closest I could come to having him walk me down the aisle. The thought alone was so painful, and I had to run and hide in my bathroom for a while until I could stop crying, washing my face in ice cold water again and again trying to get the redness to fade.

When I was calm again, I packed my jewelry into a small box, the one Edward had given me his mother's necklace in. I put that in my purse along with my phone, my keys and my bottle of pills and slung the bag over my shoulder. I went into the spare room and zipped up my dress carefully into a black garment bag and grabbed the white pair of heels I had been practicing in for the past two weeks while I was hidden in this room. Alice carried them over to her Porsche that was now in my driveway, and after I slipped on a pair of flats I locked my door and ran to join her with an excited smile.

"Do you think Edward's upset that I don't want to go away for a honeymoon?" I asked her nervously, watching the trees flash by as she sped through the woods.

"I know that he would love to take you away, but he's definitely not upset about it." She looked at me and grinned. "As long as he's next to you he's happy, and the only thing that makes him happier is making you happy. He's just crazy about you."

I smiled at her, her confident words making my eyes prick. Why was I being such a baby today? "Thank you Alice."

"It's my job not to let you cry or be sad right now! You are still in my care for another six hours," She said seriously, and I gave her another smile.

"I am definitely not sad," I told her reassuringly. "Another six hours though? Do I really need that much work?" I asked with a laugh. She rolled her eyes.

"I told you that I was going to make this perfect, just be patient with me," she said happily. She shifted in her seat, pulling a piece of fabric out of her pocket. It looked like a wide, white-satin tie, and she threw it into my lap. "Put that on," she ordered with a smile. I picked it up, giving her a curious look, but she had told me to trust her. I wrapped it around my neck, trying to mirror what I usually did. I was good at tying ties, but had never done it on myself. We pulled onto her drive way, and I smiled as halfway down I started to see long, beautiful white ribbons wrapped around the trees and blowing slightly in the wind, hanging down from large bouquets of white roses and lilacs. She stopped the car suddenly, leaning over while laughing loudly.

"What?" I asked, looking around.

"I meant blindfold yourself Belle," She said, and my face turned bright red. I quickly undid it and scowled at her while she gave me an amused grin.

"Why?"

"Because I want it to be a surprise," she said, puffing out her lips white making her eyes go big. I sighed, and watched her for a minute before conceding, and tying the fabric around my head. "You better not let me fall down," I told her with a wry smile.

"I won't, Edward would kill me," she said with a laugh. The car came to a gentle stop, and I heard her door open. "Just wait here a minute," she told me, and I heard her take out my dress and shoes before closing the door. It got really hot really fast without the windows open, and I got out of the car and leaned against it while pulling my purse over my shoulder.

He was completely silent, but it was too easy to feel him walk up beside me.

"Hey Emmett," I said lightly when he was only a couple feet away from me. I heard him sigh.

"How'd you know it was me?" He asked in a groan.

I tapped on the side of my head with one finger and smiled. "My crazy psychic powers," I said easily. He laughed, and I felt Alice come back.

"Sorry, I had to deter Edward," she said in an annoyed voice. She held onto my hand and led me easily into the house and up to her room before pulling off my blindfold. We went into her giant washroom, and she sat me down on the comfortable, upholstered bench in front of her large vanity. Rosalie came in and joined us, and I felt a painful twinge when I saw her. She looked stunning with her hair pinned up, wearing a red dress with lace sleeves. She was also wearing the necklace that I had made for her a couple years ago. How was I supposed to look good next to that?

"You look amazing Rosalie," I said in an envious voice. She smiled but rolled her eyes, walking over and unclipping my hair.

"Thanks, but it will be nothing once we're done with you," she said menacingly. It was a little frightening to be honest. She started playing with my wet hair, twisting it in different directions while she decided what she wanted to do. Alice came back, wearing a dark violet dress that was almost identical to Rosalie's, and I watched as she quickly started doing her hair.

"So, your ring is something old, your dress is new. You just need something borrowed and something blue," she said in a delighted voice.

"I have blue on my dress," I told her happily. It didn't take her long to style her short hair. She sat down on the bench next to me, and started doing my nails.

"Oh, I know," Rosalie said, and disappeared from behind me. She appeared behind me again a minute later. "I'm lending you this, hold onto it until I'm ready for it."

It was stunning, a beautiful flower hair pin made out of silver. It's stem twisted into a spiral, but at the top there was a blooming rose made out of a delicate silver webbing, and accented all over with little diamonds. "It's beautiful Rose, are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all," She said easily, putting all sorts of different products in my hair before she started blow drying it.

"Thank you, I'll be very careful with it and give it back right away," I promised her. She smiled, and when Alice finished on one hand she switched over to the other and Rose's fingers slid through my hair as she started taking a curling iron to it.

The three of us stayed in Alice's room for the entire afternoon. Rosalie had done and amazing job on my hair, it was twisted intricately in a maze of different strands that hung over one of my shoulders in long, thick curls. Her hair pin delicately twisted into the knot just behind my right ear and sparkled brilliantly. Alice had given me a French manicure on my hands and toes, and after assuring me that I wouldn't have a reaction to the new make-up she had gotten, she had given my eyes this dark, smoky look that made them really stand out. We took a break so Esme could bring me up a late lunch halfway through.

When Rose left us, giving me a hug before saying she'd see me soon, Alice helped me with my jewelry so that I wouldn't ruin my nails, doing up the clasp on Charlie's necklace, my pearl earrings and my bracelet.

"Do you need any help doing up your dress?" She asked, handing me the garment bag carefully. I thought about it for a moment.

"There are a couple clasps at the top, do you think you'd be able to do them up without actually looking at it?"

"Yes, I could do up a dress clasp with my eyes closed easily," she told me confidently, and closed her eyes while I got out of the fluffy white robe she had me in and took out my dress. I carefully stepped into it, sliding it up and holding it before telling her that I was ready. Sure enough she did it easily without opening her eyes, then told me she would be back in a couple minutes with something for me to wear over it until we went downstairs.

I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror after slipping into my shoes. I didn't recognise the dark-eyed woman in front of myself. I laid my hand over the small chocolate diamond pendant resting below the hollow of neck.

_I wish you were here Charlie. Mom._

_Jacob. I'm so sorry. I'll always love you, for the rest of this life and the next, but… I love Edward too. I need him, I can't live without him. I'm so sorry._

I closed my eyes tightly, sitting down on the bench and refusing to let myself cry. They all loved me, and I knew they would want me to be happy. And I needed to let myself be happy not only for them but for me as well. This was my life, and I knew exactly how blessed I was to have the family that I loved, that loved me, and everything else I had right now. I was going to cherish what I had.

Alice opened the door and handed me a long, black jacket that must have been Esme's. I slid it on easily, wrapping it around myself while carefully moving my hair out of the way, and tied it up with the belt hanging on it. She turned around and smiled at me happily, and we walked back out to her bedroom. We stopped by the door, and she turned to face me.

"Are you ready?" She asked me.

I surprised myself when I realized that I wasn't nervous. I loved Edward, and I knew our love was real. I had no doubt in my mind that this is what I wanted, and that I was doing the right thing. I could feel him downstairs, and was just eager to see him.

"I'm ready," I told her confidently.

She stayed close to my side as we made our way out of her room and down stairs. I was hit immediately by the smell of lilacs, roses and orange blossoms, and they decorated every surface along with thick white gossamer ribbons.

"This is beautiful Alice," I said in an awed whisper. She smiled happily at the praise. "I love it."

"I'm glad," she said in relief. I looked around at the large foyer that was covered in flowers, then out through the open glass double-doors that opened up into Esme's courtyard. Billowy white curtains similar to the material of my dress were blowing in the breeze, filtering out the light of the sun that was beginning to set, and blocking my view of what was out there. I could feel Edward though, straight ahead of me. She handed me a large bouquet of white roses dotted with these tiny purple flowers, then gave me a hug. "I love you Belle," she said in a thick voice, and I held her as tightly as I could.

"I love you too Alice. Thank you for all of this. You're the best sister I could ever wish for," I whispered back.

Her face looked pained when she pulled away, and I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek before smiling happily at her. It took a minute for her to smile back, but when she did, she grabbed a smaller bouquet that looked like mine, and I heard the gentle sound of guitar slowly drift inside. I gave her an encouraging nod, and she turned around and walked outside slowly.

I took off the coat, setting it over the back of a chair, and took a second to look in the mirror. I adjusted my hair and my dress a little, and gave my reflection one nod of encouragement before turning around and following after her.

I lightly pushed aside the open curtain and stepped through it, and was stunned for a moment by the beauty of the scene before me. Four red loveseat couches were pushed off to the side of the straight runner of white carpet that went straight from the doors to the large water fountain. Now there was a large wooden arch that was woven with white roses and lilacs in front of it, their dark green leaves making their petals stand out. My family were standing in a loose circle in front of it. Carlisle was centered under the arch, Edward to his right followed by Jasper who was playing the guitar, then Emmett. On the left next to Carlisle was an empty space, followed by Alice, Esme and Rosalie. All of their faces were shimmering in the gentle sunlight as they smiled at me.

It was Edward that held my attention though. When I looked into his eyes there was nothing else in the world. The breath-taking smile on his face could have stopped my heart, and the amount of love and joy in his eyes could have crushed cities. I smiled back at him, not even wanting to try to contain the emotions I was feeling now. I walked the short length of the white runner towards him pretty gracefully, facing him as I took my place in between Carlisle and Alice. When I stopped, beaming up at Edward, Jasper stopped his music, and Rosalie and Emmet took a step towards the other.

We were now a perfect circle, and as they smiled up at me lovingly I knew this was there way of saying that I had just completely walked into the circle of their family. My eyes watered, and I smiled at each of them before looking back up at Edward.

"Hey," I said to him simply.

"Hey," hey said back in a thick voice. As soon as I reached forward his hand took mine.

Carlisle reached forward, easily putting a hand on both mine and Edward's shoulders. "We are gathered here on this beautiful day, to witness the promises and union of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Larose-Swan." He said in a proud voice. "You two have written your own vows?"

We both nodded, still smiling happily at each other. Even feeling the electric current running through our joined hands, I still wasn't close enough to him. Carlisle signaled for Edward to speak first.

"I Edward, take you Isabella, to be my partner for life. I take you into my family. I promise to love you, honor you, protect you and treasure you. I promise to trust you, and to trust in our marriage. I promise to treasure and cherish every moment I have by your side. I promise to value our differences as much as our common ground. I promise to give you my help and support, and to accept help and support from you. I promise to keep my promises, and not to make promises I can't keep. I vow to you that my love will never fade, and that I will love you and only you until the end of time."

I was fighting to keep the tears in my eyes from falling as I listened to his strong voice. I could see the depth of every word in his eyes, and the level of devotion in his eyes made it hard to breathe. I looked back at him confidently, and my voice was strong and steady as I spoke.

"I Isabella, take you Edward, to be my partner _forever_." Even in death my love for him would be too powerful to be destroyed. "To take you and your family as mine own. I vow to love you fiercely in all of your forms, to treasure you and trust in you, now and forever. I vow to help you love life. To always hold you in tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love, and to never forget to show you each and every day that I love you more than anything in the world."

There was an almost painful sort of joy in his eyes. I know that he saw in that moment that I loved him more than he gave me credit for, and the fact that I couldn't choose to give in to immortality really didn't mean that I loved him any less. I wouldn't give him up for anything in the world besides his own safety.

"Do you, Edward, take Isabella to be your partner? For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in conflict and tranquility, in happiness and in anger, placing her above all others, from this day forward?"

"I do," he swore reverently.

"Do you, Isabella, take Edward to be your partner? For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in conflict and tranquility, in happiness and in anger, placing him above all others, from this day forward?

"I do," I promised just as surely.

Alice stepped forward, taking my flowers and handing me a silver ring, just as Carlisle handed one to Edward. I took his hand first, and smiled up at him as I slid it onto his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."

He took my left hand, sliding a smaller silver ring onto my finger. I fit perfectly next to the diamond flower I already wore as a promise to him. "With this ring, I thee wed," he said thickly, then leaned forward, almost bowing as he kissed my hand.

"Edward and Isabella have chosen to be joined in marriage, and have declared their choice to each other in the presence of this company. They have given each other their promises, and have made their pledge by giving and receiving rings and by joining hands. Therefore, by the power vested in me by them, by the witnesses present here today, and also officially by the internet, I now pronounce you partners for life. Edward Cullen and Isabella Cullen, you may now kiss."

Edward's arms were around me in a second, lifting me from the ground and kissing me fiercely as my arms wrapped around his neck tightly. He kissed me until I was too dizzy to even hold on any more, and the others were laughing as he set me down gently on my feet. Tears were now streaming down my face as I smiled up at him. "I love you Edward."

"I love you Isabella," he said, leaning down and kissing me once more. When his lips pulled away from mine I was quickly pulled into a hug by each of my new siblings, and both of my new parents, each and every one of them telling me how much they loved me. When I was finally given back to Edward, I realized that we were now in a circle that had been made out of the small red couches. Edward delicately scooped me up in his arms, sitting me down with him in the couch that had been tucked perfectly into the arch of flowers. Alice and Jasper took the couch to our right, Emmett and Rose to the left, and Carlisle and Esme directly across from up over a low table. Just as we sat down the sun seemed to pass below the horizon, the sky darkening, and Emmett leaned forward and lit a fire in the middle of the tiled table, and a thousand tiny white lights turned on inside all of the trees and shrubs in the courtyard. It was hard look at any of them when I was being held in Edward's lap, his arms holding me against him while my hands rested against his black tuxedo.

"You're stunning," he whispered, looking deeply into my eyes before kissing me again. I smiled against his lips, and felt my face turn red when Emmett cleared his throat after a minute. Edward pulled away gently, but didn't look abashed in the slightest. I sighed, and leaned my head against him before smiling over at Alice.

"You did an amazing job Alice, this is so beautiful. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure," she said happily. This was everything I wanted, just to pledge myself to him in front of our family, and just be with them. This was perfect. "And your dress turned out amazing," she said proudly. My smile got even bigger. I noticed that there were little tables in between each couch, each with big bouquets of flowers on them, and when I looked at the one beside me I noticed that there was a glass of white wine, next to a silver tray that had little desserts and chocolate dipped strawberries on it.

I looked over at Edward curiously. "Am I allowed to drink that?" I had kind of assumed automatically that I wasn't supposed to drink.

"There's nothing wrong with having a glass or two of wine," he said gently. "The only tests that have shown any negative side effects have been in really heavy drinkers." His voice had taken on that serious quality it always took when he started talking about medicine. I grinned happily, and took a sip. Delicious.

It was very comfortable, just sitting around the fire with his family. The air had started to cool off, and Edward took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. They told me stories about their lives before I came along, about Edward mostly. I learned that both Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle had had two weddings, both having a second on their fiftieth anniversaries. Rose and Emmett liked to get married every ten years or so though, and had had six weddings.

After a couple hours Jasper took out the guitar again and started playing quietly while the others spoke. It was really nice, the soft notes echoing in the silence.

"I didn't know you played," I said, and he looked up and smiled at me.

"I don't much, just a couple songs. Want to try?"

I looked over at Edward for a moment, and he was still watching me with a dazed smile while playing with a stray lock of my hair. The way he was looking at me… it gave me courage. Suddenly I wasn't nervous, I wasn't shy. I wanted him to know every part of me and I knew he would still love me unconditionally.

"Sure," I said, and he handed it to Alice who passed it over to me. I stood up for a moment, and adjusted my dress before sitting down in the spot next to Edward instead of on his lap.

"Want me to show you a note?" He asked happily. The corner of my lip twitched up, and I shook my head lightly. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I set in down on my right leg. I strummed out a C gently before playing with an A minor and shifting into a G. I knew it only sounded like I was playing with random strings, but my fingers were sure, and I slowly morphed them to the familiar tune in my head. As it started to come together I looked up at Edward who was watching me with a surprised expression. I smiled at him, and took in a steadying breath before I made the notes a little louder. Once I got back to C once more, I started to sing.

"_Well I heard there was a secret chord  
that David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth,  
The fifth,  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..._

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..._

_Baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
You know I used to live alone before I knew you  
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
and love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..._

_There was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me, do you?  
But remember when I moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..._

_Maybe there's a God above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..."_

I smiled sadly to myself before looking back up to him. He gently took the guitar out of my hands, and set it down before cupping my face in his hands and kissing me. He held my face for a long time before he spoke. "Thank you for that," he whispered. I smiled up at him.

"I've never heard you sing before," Alice said. I looked up, and my face flushed red.

"I've never actually sung in front of someone before," I said shyly.

"Well you should do it more often," She said happily. I grinned when Jasper smiled and nodded beside her.

"When did you learn how to play?" Jasper asked curiously.

"High school," I said, leaning back into Edward's side again. He wrapped his arms around me while burning me with his eyes. If he enjoyed it that much I would have to do it more often for him. I'd do anything to make him happy. As I stared into his glowing face, feeling him so close to me, my love for him was overwhelming. I wanted him, all of him, so much. It was so overwhelming that it made it difficult to breathe. I think he was able to see the depth of the emotion in my eyes for a moment when he looked back at me meaningfully. I slid my hand up his shoulder, holding his face tightly in my hands before kissing him firmly. His arms were like a vice around my stomach as he pulled me against him. When I finally relaxed my hold on him he did the same, and I gave him one meaningful look that he seemed to understand very quickly.

"We're going to head home," he said in an easy voice. Alice handed me my purse, and I thanked her again another three times for the perfect ceremony, and had to give everyone hugs before they gave me back to Edward. He smiled at me, and swept me up into his arms before dashing into the woods. He was wearing my favourite crooked smile as I looked up at him.

"What time is it?" I asked him curiously. His eyes flickered down to me, but I was happy that he was concentrating on not hitting any trees.

"A bit after midnight," he said with a smile. I was a little surprised, it barely felt like an hour had gone by. "Are your tired, Mrs. Cullen?"

I smiled brightly at the sound of my new name. "Not at all," I told him truthfully. His smile turned a little nervous, and I would have moved to hold him if his hold on me wasn't so tight. Before I knew it we were on the back porch, and he shifted me to one arm as he opened the door. I wrapped my arms around his neck quickly, kissing him as he carried me inside. He backed up against the door to close it, and when I felt him set me down I loosened my hold on him and smiled up at him. I liked how much taller I felt in these shoes.

We stood there silently for a couple minutes, very close as we watched each other. I saw that nervous look in his eyes again, but I knew I could make that pass. I smiled sweetly at him, and when I leaned up, placing my hands lightly against his chest, he leaned down and met my lips gently with his. I felt him start to relax as he rested his hands gently on my waist, and pulled away carefully. He smiled happily once more, and I stepped back and took off his jacket that I was still wearing. I hung it up on the arm chair in the corner of the room, thinking that someone must have come back and turned up the heat after I left. The thought made me smile as I turned around to look at him again, and he watched me very closely as I carefully slid Rose's hair pin out. He slowly walked over, and as he helped me start pulling out all of the tiny pins in my hair I saw him relax further through the reflection in the mirror. When we got the last of them out, I closed my eyes and sighed as his cool fingers started combing through my hair. I opened my eyes when I felt his cool lips on my shoulders, and watched him in the mirror as his hands wrapped around my stomach and his lips travelled slowly up to my ear. He smiled up at me through our reflection when he stopped, and I gave him a shy smile back as I swept my curly hair over one shoulder.

"Can you get the clasps for me? I can't reach," I said quietly. I looked back at him calmly, and he barely hesitated as his skilled fingers started undoing all of the small hooks down the back of the dress. His fingers brushing against my back felt like they were burning through the fabric. When I felt him undo the last one, I turned around slowly and smiled up at him as I let my dress fall to the floor and pool around my feet. I watched his face carefully, and his eyes burned into me as his hands slid down my sides. I smiled up at him as he lifted me up, and gently laid me down on our bed. His eyes never left mine as he slowly unbuttoned his vest and shirt, dropping them onto the floor before crawling onto the bed on top of me. I slid my hands up his bare chest, holding his face in my hands as he leaned down to kiss me.

His lips were so gentle when they met mine, as light as a feather. But as my fingers slid into his hair he leaned into me more. When my grip tightened in his hair, pulling him harder against me his lips became hungrier, more forceful against mine. My pulse was thudding loudly in my ears as fire seemed to course through my body, making me so dizzy I could barely think. His mouth moved down my throat as my legs wrapped around him, and I felt one of his arms slide under my back, holding me against him as he sat up. I clung to him as I felt his lips on my collar bone, his hands sliding down my sides and resting on the white lace on my hips. Then his lips were gentle again, careful as they danced across my jaw then kissed my cheek. I opened my eyes and found his watching me carefully. There was a twinge of fear in his eyes.

"Isabella, I want you to know that we don't have to do this. Just because we're married doesn't mean we need to-"

"I _want_ to Edward. I want all of you," I told him gently, taking his face and my hands again. A painful twinge of nervousness shot through my stomach. "Don't you want to?" I asked, self-consciously.

"Yes," he said in a deep voice, making me smile. "Of course I do, but…"

"But what?"

His eyes were tortured. "I'm afraid to hurt you," he whispered in a painful voice. I leaned forward, pushing myself up on my knees so that my eyes were level with his.

"I'm not," I told him in a confident voice. "You won't hurt me Edward."

"How do you know that?" His voice was disbelieving, but I wasn't going to let him doubt himself.

"Because I love you, and you love me. Because I trust you, and because we belong together," I told him in a confident voice.

I watched as he seemed to relax slightly, and he smiled up at me before pulling me against him roughly. I smiled back in appreciation, lifting myself up with his shoulders and making him tilt his head back as I kissed him. His large hands slid down my back, and I shivered as they went down the backs of my legs. I felt him smile against my lips, and when I laughed his body relaxed under mine. I leaned back as his hands slid up to my breasts, and his electric fingers traced circles around my firm peaks. I sighed, leaning back against his legs and letting my body burn under his touch. One of his hands slowly slid down my stomach, and I gasped when one of his fingers slipped in between us.

I clutched onto him tightly, pressing myself up against him and breathing heavily while his finger slowly teased me. My entire body seemed to shudder, and I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Please Edward," I whispered. "I want you so badly." I felt his chest vibrate underneath me, and his golden eyes burned me for a few long seconds. I head the tearing of material as his lips crushed against mine, and I gasped as one of his fingers slipped inside of me. I felt him against me then, and he went still.

I opened mine to look at him, practically shaking in my desire for him, and saw in his eyes that he was trying to decide what to do. He was still nervous, but I could tell that he wanted this every bit as much as I did.

"Lean back against the headboard," I told him gently, and he obeyed quickly, pulling me back with him. I smiled and kissed him softly, and his lips were eager against mine. I felt him shiver as I took him in my hand, and slowly started to move my hand up and down him. He took in a sharp breath when I rubbed up against him, taking my waist tightly in his hands. I centered myself above him, and looked deeply onto his eyes as I slid down on him slowly. I whimpered as I settled down on him, feeling his cool hardness fill me so completely, and he gripped onto my waist tightly as I leaned my forehead against his.

"Fuck," he said in a growl, gripping tightly onto my waist as my body clenched around him. I gripped into him with shaking hands, and slowly pulled myself up before sliding down him again and letting out a small cry of pleasure. I felt his hand cup the side of my face, and I opened my eyes to see his staring back at me with an almost crazed look in his eyes. I shivered, and kissed him hungrily as I rocked myself against him. Every tiny movement sent a whole new, overwhelming wave of pleasure over me. My body felt as though it was engulfed in flames, but it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. My body was so sensitive to his, as his hands travelled over every inch of me while I slowly started to increase my pace.

"Oh god Edward, you feel so good," I whimpered, rotating my hips while he was inside of me and dragging my nails down his chest. He growled loudly, the sound only increasing my arousal, and I cried out when he flipped us over, pinning me underneath him. My legs held onto him as he started to slowly push in and out of me, taking over. His hands were tight on my waist, guiding my body to meet his thrusts. As his speed increased I wanted him to hold me tighter, and moaned in pleasure when his grip tightened. He held onto my hips, lifting them off of the bed as he guided himself into me, and I came quickly. He didn't stop though, his thrusts continuing to speed up as he pushed himself deeper inside of me. I screamed his name again and again as wave after wave of pleasure continued to threaten to pull me under, and I lost count of my climaxes, not even able to make a coherent thought by the time he came with me. He dropped on top of me, covering my face in gentle kisses as I trembled underneath him and clung to him weakly.

"I love you Edward. I love you so much," I whispered in a shaky voice. I was sweating, it was just too hot in here, and his cool body was the only thing keeping me from being lost to the flames.

"I love you too, my wife," He said in a deep voice. I was too tired to even open my eyes to look at him though, but clung to him a little tighter when he called me that. His cold arms wrapped around me, and I quickly lost the battle to my exhaustion.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight: Good-Bye

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-Eight :: Good-bye**

**Edward**

I ran my hand through her thick hair, smiling in awe as I placed a long, gentle kiss on her forehead. She was still trembling in my arms, but when her weak hold on me let go I realized quickly that she had fallen asleep. Her arms slid off of me, dropping onto the pillows above her head on top of her thick curls that were fanned out around her. Her cheeks were flushed a bright red, and the thin sheen of sweat that covered her body made her scent intoxicating. I watched her, just hovering above her and admiring her for a long time. I knew nothing in time had ever been as beautiful as she was in my arms in that exact moment.

When I did momentarily let her go, only to turn off the lights so that she would sleep better, I saw her eyebrows quickly furrow as a small frown played on her sleeping face. I quickly slid back next to her, chuckling when her face immediately relaxed again. I slid my arms around my wife, pulling her on top of me as I lay back on the bed. She stretched out against my chest with a faint sigh, her head resting under my chin as her arms draped around my head. Her skin was hotter than fire against mine, keeping my body coursing with a steady, overwhelming current of electricity. I slid my hands slowly down her back and admired the view of her beautiful body on top of mine.

I was having a lot of difficulty comprehending the magnitude of joy I had felt in this one day. The moments just kept running around and around in my mind.

The image of her as she walked through that white curtain. I was frozen in awe when I saw her, not fully believing that she was real. Her dark, entrancing eyes and brilliant smile. Her dark hair was twisted artfully to one side with a silver rose, and cascaded down in thick curls over one shoulder almost down to her waist. Her smooth arms were completely bare, her dress curving perfectly to her chest in a white shimmering silk, and flowing out delicately around her to the ground. She truly was an angel, a goddess, some sort of holy being that had been left on this world and mistaken for a mere mortal. She was anything but.

The sound of her voice and devotion in her eyes as she reverently promised her love to me in front of my family. She had made it clear that she wasn't taking me for her life, but forever. That her love for me was so strong that it would it would last longer than her life.

The sound of her voice, and raw emotion on her face as she sang. I had been watching her happily, just admiring her when Jasper handed her my guitar. I happily offered to teach her something, but she shook her head, her lips turning up in a curious smile. I watched her carefully as her fingers easily took on a chord, and her finger tips danced softly against the strings. It looked like her fingers were just strumming at random strings for a moment, but her finger placements for the chords were exact and deliberate. I saw her eyes flicker to me for a moment, before she let out a small breath and her sound shifted. The chords changed into a different pattern as her plucking became a more solidified rhythm. The tune was familiar, and as she continued and her notes became a little louder I easily identified the song. I smiled at her, wondering if she would ever cease to surprise me like this. I knew she had moved the guitar, but I figured she had just looked at it. Never once had she ever mentioned that she could play before.

And then she began to sing. Her voice was quiet, soft at first, but it quickly changed. Her sound was strong, yet low and smooth, a slight rasp that moved deep inside my soul. She'd never sang in front of any of us before, never even joined my family when we sang Christmas carols. I could see why though; Isabella had one of those voices that you just wouldn't sing along with. It was a sound that would silence a crowd, just so that everyone would be able to listen to it. Hers was a voice that was so painfully beautiful that one couldn't help but watch and be moved. She lost herself to her music, and I knew the feeling perfectly, even though I had never seen it on someone else's face before. And it wasn't the intricate sound of the guitar that she lost herself to, it was her words. She was sharing her soul with me, with all of us, and anyone could see that this was _her_, this was something that she loved so much that she had never wanted to share it. But she shared it with us. With _me_. I could see how hard it had been for her to do it, she had hid it for almost three years from us all, and that made it just that much more meaningful.

And then there was this. I ran my fingers through her hair, and carefully started combing them through her knots while I wrapped my other arm around her. Her arms stretched out beside my head and her fingers slid lightly into my hair, making my smile grow even larger. I had been able to see in her eyes easily what she had wanted. I wanted it too, of course I had, but I had been terrified. She wasn't though, and her faith in me had given me courage. She had confidently guided me, and it had felt so natural, so right. Our bodies were made for each other, and the sound of her crying out my name, moving against me and giving herself to me completely as she lost herself to the pleasure I gave her sent a shiver of pride through me. There were no words capable of describing the feeling of being inside of her, no one had ever had a love like we did. Our connection was so real, so tangible that it seemed to manifest. The electricity that flowed between us had become an all-consuming, all-powerful force. It had been too easy to give myself to my own pleasure and listen to my body as it took over. It was pure bliss, the most amazing moment of my existence.

I just couldn't stop touching her. Even as she laid against my body, I wasn't close enough to her. Now I knew what _true_ closeness was. I ran my hands down her back, then up her ribs as I kissed her hair. As my thumbs traveled over the soft skin on the sides of her breasts, she moved against me, sighing in her sleep. Her arms wrapped around my head, holding onto me in her sleep, as her legs parted and draped over either side of me. I smiled proudly, sliding my hands down her lower back, over her round bottom and down her legs. She shifted against me again, almost rubbing herself against me as a soft, quiet moan escaped her lips. I had to fight myself not to take her again right then.

But she was _mine,_ my wife. She loved me, every part of me. She loved me unconditionally, I knew that now. We were different types of people though, and we expressed our love differently. I knew her now, learned more about her every day, and I knew that when she needed her personal space, or kept these little details of her secrets, it wasn't because she loved me any less. It was who she was, because that's what she had done to survive for so long. It was a respectable trait, protecting herself the way she did, and just made me admire her even more.

The sky began to lighten outside, casting shadows around the room. It was a very pale light, and I listened as the rain started to patter along the sides of the house. As I counted out the seconds before I could wake her, I thought the light was just playing tricks on my eyes. But as I watched the bruises slowly darken, turning blue and violet around her small waist, pure, raw fear and self-loathing washed over me. I slowly slid my hands down to her sides, and saw that the large bruises on either side of her waist were an exact copy of the shape of my hands. I quickly let go of her and slid her gently onto the bed. Her arms tightened around me, but it was easy to disentangle myself from her hold. I looked down at her, and carefully inspected the bruising that was much worse from this angle.

I quickly got up, and made two ice packs, wrapping them both in hand towels before placing them down on her stomach. My venom pricked painfully in my eyes as it felt like my throat was trying to constrict. It was one of the worst parts of being a vampire, not being able to let pain out through tears. I couldn't believe I had done this to her. I _hurt_ her. I could have used my cool hands to try and bring down the bruising, but I was afraid to even touch her. It was hard when her face took on a gentle scowl and she reached out for me in her sleep. She kept rolling over though and the packs kept slipping off, and when she rolled over for the fifth time, I stayed completely still as she wrapped herself around me. After a little while she had worked herself back to where she had been before, lying across my chest, her hands resting on my shoulders.

She didn't seem like she was in pain, in fact she had a glowing smile on her face even as she slept. I knew her blood thinners would make her prone to bruising, but it didn't change the fact that I had done that to her. She had placed her trust in me completely, and I had done this to her. I fisted my hands in my hair, almost ripping it out in my anger with myself. I stayed frozen like that until I had to wake her up. I couldn't kiss her, I didn't deserve to touch her.

"Isabella," I said quietly. She didn't move. "Isabella?" I made my voice a little louder.

"Hmm." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Isabella, you need to wake up," I said in a gentle voice.

"Mmm. Five more minutes," she said in a sleepy voice. She shifted on my body, wrapping her arms around my head. I would have laughed if I wasn't so preoccupied with despising myself.

"Nope, you need to eat breakfast," I said gently, and she groaned. She stretched out on top of me slowly, sliding her hands back down before propping herself up slightly. She was having a lot of difficulty opening her eyes, but her smile was immediate. When she did manage to get her eyes to stay open, her smile disappeared as she looked at me, her joy shifting into worry and fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked quickly, her eyes going wide.

"Tell me the truth Isabella," I pleaded seriously. "How much does it hurt? Are you okay?"

Her expression turned confused, and a little annoyed. "What are you talking about?"

I sat her up, and when she looked down at her stomach her eyes widened in surprise. I laid one hand gently over one of the bruises. She looked up at me sadly.

"It doesn't hurt at all Edward. I don't even feel them," she said gently, looking me straight in the eyes as she spoke. "You know I bruise easily, the blood thinners just made it worse. It's okay." She had taken my face in her hands while she spoke, and it was hard to doubt the sincerity in her eyes. I shook my head.

"It's not okay Isabella. I did this, I hurt you, I-"

"You did _not_ hurt me Edward," she said sternly. I was halted by the strength in her voice as she pierced me with her burning gold and brown eyes. "Last night was the most amazing night of my life. I had never felt as good as you made me feel, and I wouldn't change a single second of it." Her strong exterior crumbled for a moment, and she looked down as her hands dropped, covering up her chest with her arms. "That's how it was for me though… Did you not, was it okay for you?"

"You're worried that I didn't _enjoy_ myself?" I asked in disbelief. When she looked back up at me her eyes were watering, and my fear evaporated. I would not let my wife cry. I kissed her quickly. "Last night was the most amazing night of my existence, I had never known that pleasure that intense could actually be real," I told her seriously, and she gave me a small smile. "Please though, I don't want you to lie and protect me Isabella. I need to know if you're not okay."

She leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I really am okay Edward. I wanted you to hold me tighter, and was _very_ happy when you did. Everything about last night felt good, there was no pain." She smiled, and tilted her head as she kissed my neck. I shivered under her touch as her lips brushed below my ear. "And I am more than willing to practice so it doesn't happen again," she said in a seductive voice, before rolling off of me. She grabbed my shirt that was still on the bed, sliding her arms through the sleeves and doing up a couple of the buttons. She swayed when she stood up, gripping onto one of the posters of the bed. I quickly flashed to her side to support her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked urgently, holding her up carefully. Her face flushed red as she gave me an appreciative look, her eyes travelling over me slowly.

"Yes," she said in an amused. She patted my stomach gently, biting her lip. "I am very much okay," she said in a voice that made me twitch. She grinned, and let go of me as she made her way over to the washroom a little shakily and closed the door.

A slow smile spread over my lips as the phase _"I could barely walk the next day_," floated through my mind. And that look she gave me, I could swear that she wanted _more._

I quickly slid on a pair of blue boxers, and decided not to put anything else on. I made the bed quickly so she wouldn't try to, and watched her as she walked out of the bathroom, grinned at me, then made her way over to the kitchen.

She looked amazing in my shirt, and I loved knowing that she wasn't wearing anything else underneath it. She had rolled up the long sleeves, and the shirt almost went down to her knees. It was an entrancing thing to watch. I turned on the radio as she took her medication and poured herself a bowl of cereal, and when she set it down, I slid it in front of me before pulling her onto my lap. She smiled happily at me, and I let her eat her cereal while I played with her hair. It was like any other perfect day. Waking up and sitting with her while she ate her breakfast at seven on the dot. But it was so different. I couldn't hide the proud smile on my face as I looked at the two silver rings on her finger. She was mine. My love, my life, my reason for existence, and now my wife. As soon as she put down her spoon, I turned her around in my lap and kissed her fiercely. I knew this was against her morning rules but I didn't care. I had to feel her lips on mine.

She took my face in her palms very gently, and I let her pull away after a moment. Her eyes were sparkling as she smiled up at me, and I grinned back in a daze. She gave me one last gentle kiss and I let her slide off of my lap. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as I watched her clean and put away her bowl and spoon, pause, and take out a container of disinfectant wipes and go over all of the marble counter tops. I almost laughed as she gave the kitchen an affirmative nod, smiled and walked over to the bedroom. She was as clean as a vampire, and I thought it was curious just how many similarities my human wife did have with my kind. Her impressive memory and attention to detail, her courage, the depths of her emotions, her pale, flawless skin and intimidating beauty…

It wasn't the first time that I had thought she was more than human, and there was something about that idea that tickled at my mind.

I didn't hear any doors close, but I heard the shower turn on. I listened to the audible click as the glass door to the shower closed. My body moved of its own accord, pulling me into the bedroom and stopping just outside the doorway into the bathroom. I could see her perfectly, her eyes closed under the water pouring down on her. Her long hair looked almost black as it flowed with the water over her body, coming close to touching her hips. She was smiling, and I was entranced as she took some shampoo in her hands and started massaging it into her scalp. As she turned around and started rinsing it out, I had a perfect view of her glistening breasts as she leaned her head back. The dark bruises were still a painful thing to look at, but I believed she was okay and now the sight of _her_ over powered the sight of _them_. I walked over to her at a human pace, and kicked off my boxers as she opened her eyes and looked up at me. She didn't look away, but stood still under the flow of water as I opened the door to the large square shower.

She watched me with a faint smile as I closed the door behind me, and I just looked down at her for a moment, enjoying the complete, full image of her in front of me. Then I stepped forward, and the corner of her mouth pulled up a little higher as she placed her hands on my chest. I slid my hand through her wet hair, cupping the back of her head and letting the electricity build inside of me before leaning down and kissing her.

Her fingers traced over each one of the muscles on my stomach gently as her hands traveled up my chest. She leaned up against me, burning me, as she reached up on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck. Very slowly, I slid my hands down her ribs, her hips, leaning down as I cupped the backs of her thighs and lifted her up. Her legs wrapped around me automatically, and she was able tighten her hold around my neck. I released her lips to let her breathe, and tasted the skin along her jaw and down her throat. Her fingers knotted into my hair as I lifted her a little higher, sliding one arm under her bottom and supporting her back with my other hand as I leaned her back and covered her breasts in gentle kisses, and then traced around her stiff peaks with the tip of my tongue. God, she tasted so good. I leaned her gently against the tiled wall of the shower, loving the feel of the water pouring over us as I held her. With my hand now free, I slid it down her back, over the back of her thigh before slipping in between her folds. She let out a soft moan, and I kissed her quickly before easily lifting her over my head, resting her on my shoulders, and dipped my tongue inside of her. She gasped, and clutched at my hair as I circled her with my tongue before dipping a finger in side of her again.

"Oh god," she gasped and I felt her squirm in my arms. Her thighs trembled against my shoulders as she pulled on my hair, her breathing coming out in sharp gasps. "Edward, please," she whimpered, almost pleading. I didn't need any more encouragement as I lowered her down, kissing her as I easily guided myself inside of her. Her body shivered against mine, and her insides clenched around me as I slowly entered her. She cried out, but it was a sound of pleasure as she clung to me tightly. I moved very slowly, not letting myself completely lose control. My hold on her hips was secure yet gentle as I slowly moved her up and down on top of me. She moved with me, supporting herself easily and un-shyly with my shoulders. Her nails scraped across my skin as I gradually increased my pace, and started pushing deeper inside of her. She climaxed quickly, and I started kissing her neck urgently as she continued to cling to me. She cried out my name again and again as she gave herself to me to reach myself. There was just too much sensation, and when I released inside of her I held her like that under the warm water for a few minutes, feeling her muscles tremble against me as her body started to relax in my arms.

But she kept clenching around me, and my pleasure didn't fade. She whimpered and clung to me tightly as I started to move inside her again, and I growled loudly as she held onto my shoulders, bracing her legs against my hips as she started to rotate her hips around me. The sounds that we made were more animalistic then anything. I was more than happy to let her use me as she wished, engrossed with how open she was about what she wanted. When her muscles weakened I supported and guided her again, and this time we climaxed together. It was like the universe had shifted around us, time, space, emotion, all of their meanings seemed to change. We kissed each other urgently as I swiped away the tears that were streaming down her face, and then just held her for a long time under the warm water. When her heart rate slowed down and her breathing became more calm, I set her down in front of me. I caught her quickly when it became apparent that her legs just couldn't hold her up any more, and she bit onto her bottom lip as she grinned at me. The way she looked up at me, an almost desperate sort of happiness in her eyes, was life altering. I smiled adoringly at her, and gave her a gentle kiss before taking her loufa, covering it in some of her strawberry-scented body wash, and started gently rubbing it over her body while I supported her with one hand. She let me support her, twisting back her hair as I explored her body. When I finished, I traced over every inch of her skin with my hands and lips as I rinsed the bubbles off of her. I tuned off the water and carried her out of the shower, and after we dried each other off I carried her back to the bed, laying her down and wrapping my arms around her. She was still shaking slightly, and I smiled when she asked if I could get her a bottle of water. I jumped out of the bed, and was back in two seconds. I slid under the blankets with her, and she drank the entire bottle before setting it down on her nightstand and sliding into my arms. She looked completely exhausted, and I didn't think she would last very long. She seemed happy when I pulled her on top of me, by far my favourite way to watch her sleep. And she was unabashed as her legs straddled my stomach, propping herself up on me on her elbows and kissing me fiercely.

"I love you Edward. More than anything in the world," she said in a clear, strong voice. I wrapped my arms around her, leaning up to meet her lips again.

"I love too. You make me the happiest man in the universe," I told her gently. Her eyes watered a little before she kissed me, then shifted again as she rested her head on my chest, her hands resting delicately on my shoulders. Her breathing pattern shifted as she drifted off to sleep again, and I pulled the blanket a little higher over her bare shoulders. I draped one arm gently over her back on top of the blanket, and combed the knots out of her wet hair with my fingers, watching it dry in soft waves as she slept.

I smiled brightly when three hours later she laughed. She was still asleep, her body completely limp and relaxed against mine. I'd only seen her do that twice before, and I loved it. There was just something about seeing her so happy even in her dreams that delighted me.

"What's so funny?" I asked in a smooth whisper.

"Your face, when I caught you lurking in my woods," she breathed. I chuckled, smiling at the memory.

"Even then I loved you. You're the only woman I've ever loved, and when I found you I just couldn't stay away. I was so surprised when you called me out, you were always surprising me, the only person who ever has."

She moved, and my eyes went wide as she propped herself up on her elbows, looking down at me and smiling. I could have sworn she was asleep. "I was so annoyed, you were always waking me up in the middle of the night." I watched her in shock for a moment, and she lifted a delicate eye brown, then her smile turned into more of a smirk. "You've been talking to me in my sleep, haven't you?"

I looked up at her nervously. Why was it that she could read me so easily? She just shook her head, and I relaxed as she leaned over and kissed me. Her sweet-smelling hair created a curtain around us, and when she pulled away she smiled sweetly down at me. "I thought you might have been. Sometimes when I dream of you, it really feels like I'm talking to _you_. And we've been living together for so long now that I thought it was strange you hadn't mentioned anything about my sleep talking."

"You're not mad?" I asked disbelievingly. The smile on her face was genuine.

She just gave me a little shrug. "Nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to go back to wearing a mouth guard when I sleep just to blur out the words."

I laughed loudly. "That's why you wore that thing?"

"I thought it was a pretty clever idea, I couldn't go blowing my cover in my sleep," she said seriously. I had to agree. "So, did you learn anything interesting?" She asked a little nervously.

I brushed some of her hair away from her face, smiling up at her. "The first time you told me you loved me was in your sleep. It was one of the best nights of my life." She gave me a sad smile.

"Last night was the best night of my life," she whispered, not breaking eye contact with me.

"Mine too," I told her reverently, taking her face in my hands and kissing her tenderly. When I released her and looked up at her, I knew that life didn't get better than this. Seeing her constantly smiling, I wanted to make sure that never stopped. I would make her smile every day for the rest of her life because it was the only thing that mattered. She yawned, and gave me an apologetic look. "You can go back to sleep," I told her reassuringly.

"But I've been trapping you here for so long. It's okay, I can-"

"No, go back to sleep. I just want to hold you, I don't ever want to stop holding you."

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears before she kissed me again. It was a long, gentle kiss, and I felt like I could taste her happiness in the electricity that flowed out of her. I wrapped my arms around her gently, and she shifted down my torso, resting her head on my chest, her legs still open over my stomach. When I rested my arms down on the bed, my hands resting on her ribs, her small hands slid up my arms, resting on my biceps. I closed my eyes, just savouring this, and she fell asleep again within minutes.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was such an amazing feeling. Her heart sat directly above where mine used to beat, but as hers beat against my chest it almost felt like mine was too. I grinned as her stomach rumbled gently and she shifted against me.

At first I had worried as usual that she would get cold sleeping directly against my skin, but underneath this blanket with her I felt like I was being baked in an oven. I slid my hands under the blanket, sliding them down her back, and she shifted against me again, almost a wiggle. My body automatically responded, and she was so close that as I rose I felt myself pressing against the inside of her thigh. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to gain control of my body again, but she rubbed up against me and let out a small whimper. Her hands slid up my arms as she started to stir. My body was frozen for a moment, but then she whispered my name.

I rolled us over, and hovered above her. This opened her legs to me completely, but I held myself close enough away that I didn't touch her and leaned forward to kiss her. Her lips responded quickly to mine as the last bits of sleep fell away from her. Her fingers slid into my hair and I automatically leaned forward. She hummed against my lips as I pressed up against her wet heat. I debated, her kiss drowning out my thoughts but not sure if I was being too forward. But her arms became tight around my neck as she pulled me closer and moved against me. I pulled away slightly, and her eyes were bright, filled with desire as she stared back at me. The corner of my mouth pulled up into a grin as I leant forward on one arm, kissing her gently as I guided myself with my other hand. I rubbed my tip in circles around her bud and her lips became more urgent. I pulled away slightly, and looked into her eyes as I slid down her folds, and very slowly slid my full length into her. She closed her eyes, moaning softly, and she clenched around me tightly while I slid my hand slowly up her thigh then under her back, lifting her hips slightly. Her hands slid into the sheets, clutching at them tightly as I slowly moved my full length in and out of her. I tried to keep it slow, to be tender, but as she pulled herself into my body, I let her roll me over when she tried.

She looked down at me, a sensual smile on her face, and rocked against me. I moaned, and she lifted herself up on her knees and lowered herself down on me again quickly before rotating her hips. I watched her, entranced as she lifted herself up and down on top of me, her firm breasts bouncing with the movement and her hair falling around her body in thick, soft waves. I watched myself as she pulled me into her, and let my hands travels down to her hips before slipping a finger in between her folds. She moaned when I circled over her, and her movement became quicker and she leaned back slightly, giving me an even better view. As soon as her legs started to tremble again, I flipped her back over. Feeling close, I kept circling around her as I started to pump into her faster, and harder. She cried out seconds before I came, and I relaxed against her after slipping out of her. She was breathing heavily, holding onto me tightly. I covered her body in kisses until her heart slowed down and her breathing evened out, and I lay down next to her on the bed while she smiled at me lovingly.

"What time is it?" She asked quietly after a few minutes.

"Almost six," I told her easily. Her eyes went wide for a minute before relaxing into a smile again. She gave me a gentle kiss, before grabbing the throw off of the bed, wrapping herself in it and walking a little unsteadily over to the washroom. I was in the same spot, still half under the blankets when she came out, but she quickly walked over to the closet and turned on the light. I made sure to keep the frown off of my face, I couldn't keep her trapped and naked in our bedroom for the rest of her life. Luckily she didn't come out wearing any more than a small pair of shorts and a tank top. She hopped up onto the bed, and leaned over me to give me a quick kiss.

"I'm just going to make something to eat," she told me before kissing me again. She swayed slightly when she stood up again and I caught her, and she gave me an adorable, embarrassed smile before walking out of the room. I threw on a pair of jeans in three seconds, catching up to her before she made it across the living room. I sat down on one of the stools, and she turned up the radio before opening the fridge and leaning on the door while she stood in front of it. She was smiling, and didn't seem annoyed to have me sitting here watching her. She put a pan on the stove and put some oil in it while she cut up things out of the fridge, and they sizzled dangerously when she threw them in.

"What are you making?" I asked curiously. She grinned as she went back to the fridge and started pulling out different bottles.

"Stir fry," she said in an amused voice.

"It looks complicated. Why aren't you measuring anything?" She laughed.

"It's not really. And I don't need to measure, things don't need to be exact when cooking this sort of thing." She never made fun of me when I asked these sorts of questions. The thought that passed through my mind made me feel sad. If she had continued on with school and gone through with the career that she had wanted to, I know she would have made an amazing teacher.

"Do you like Chinese food?" I asked, thinking of that last day of school that we had had.

"I _love_ Chinese food," she said happily. I watched as she mixed some rice from a Tupperware container into her frying pan, stirring it again. "I think this might be considered Chinese food actually," she said in a thoughtful voice.

I smiled, making a note to buy it for her sometime, and went and turned on the television as she started pulling out a plate and pouring a glass of water. She turned off the radio, and I heard her start washing her dishes before she even started eating. I wonder if she was aware that she was a little obsessive compulsive when it came to things like cleanliness. I watched as she came and sat next to me, setting her glass and two pills down on the coffee table. At first, when we had been in New Brunswick, I had thought that she was living like a guest in her own home. Her behaviour hadn't changed much besides the fact that me making the bed didn't give her panic attacks anymore, but I realized that it may have been something so deeply ingrained in her that it was a permanent part of who she was.

She caught me watching her, and gave me a suspicious smile. "What?"

"I love you," I told her simply. She smiled.

"And I love you," she said easily, and took another bite of her food. "You're not seriously going to make me watch jersey shore are you?"

I looked over at the television, forgetting I had even turned it on, and laughed as I switched it over to the weather network. Isabella finished her dinner really quickly, and after she got up and washed her plate she came back, walking with a cookie in her mouth and a small pile of them on a napkin in her hand. She grinned up at me, pulling the cookie out of her mouth and sat down next to me again. I smiled as she leaned against my arm, laughing while we watched some bad horror movie. As the night got later, she wrapped herself in a blanket before sliding into my lap, and I held her securely while she fell asleep in my arms.

. . . . . . . . . . .

"I have a present for you," I told her excitedly when I heard the water in the shower turn off. She opened the door, wrapped in her white robe as she looked over at me suspiciously.

"Why?" She asked. I grinned at her.

"Since I couldn't take you away on a honeymoon for a wedding present, I wanted to get you something else." She rolled her eyes and walked back into the bathroom. I followed her back in, needing to make sure that she wasn't _actually_ angry.

"You didn't need to get me anything Edward," she said in a sad voice. She was staring down at the silent blow dryer in her hands. No, I had managed to keep her smiling for the last week while I had her hidden away in our cabin, I wasn't going to let that end now.

"I know that Isabella, but I swear this is something that you're going to like. It doesn't even come in a box."

"I didn't get you anything," she whispered, and there were actual tears in her eyes. I kissed her quickly, lifting her up and setting her on the bathroom counter.

"And I don't want anything," I assured her in a deep whisper. "Besides, this is as much for me as it is for you," I said in a reassuring tone. She looked up at me curiously. An idea came to my mind though, and I quickly went with it. "Although…"

"What?" She asked quickly.

"There is one thing you could do for me," I said hopefully. Her answer was immediate.

"Anything," she swore.

I smiled brightly at her. "You could sing for me again." Her eyes widened, her face flushing before she smiled at me.

"Okay," she whispered. Well, that was much easier than I thought it would be.

"We have to leave the house for it though," I said begrudgingly. I never wanted to leave this house again. Her face went curious again, but she nodded.

"Can I dry my hair first?" I kissed her, and told her to take as much time as she wanted. I went and got dressed, pulling on a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt, then sat down in the living room to read while she got ready.

An hour later she came and dropped down on the couch beside me. She was wearing a denim skirt with a white lace shirt that I could see her white bra through. She had a purple sweater zipped up on top of her though, and her hair was hanging in a long braid over one shoulder. I immediately dropped my book, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her on top of me. She giggled, and lightly pushed me away after my lips moved from her mouth down her throat. I looked up at her, almost pouting which made her laugh again. She leaned into me, and I wanted to rip that sweater off of her.

"You know if we start that we'll never leave," she whispered, her eyes sparkling as she smiled. I could see that she wouldn't have minded if that were to happen.

I really wanted to give her my present though, and the sooner we left the more she would be able to enjoy it. I sighed, standing up and setting her down on her feet.

"Do I need to bring anything?" She asked, skipping over to the closet and sitting down on the chair in the corner of our room as she slipped on a pair of tanned, leather ankle boots.

"No," I said, watching her as she stood up a couple inches taller than she usually did. She walked over to me gracefully, smiling and wrapping her arms around me. I didn't have to lean over as far as usual to kiss her. She smiled when I didn't pull away, and I held her a little more tightly. I sighed again, and put her down before taking her hand and leading her out to the garage. She didn't question me when I held the door open to my car, but slid into the seat and did up her belt with an easy smile. I was in my seat in another second, and she leaned up and hit the switch on the fold-down mirror to open the garage door for me.

It was a little strange to be out of the house, and even though she was sitting right next to me it felt wrong not having her in my arms. Like she had been reading my mind, she reached over and rested her hand on my thigh gently, since my hand was busy shifting gears. I relaxed slightly under her touch.

I smiled as we pulled into the large, empty parking lot of the nursery.

"It's says they're closed today Edward," she said lightly.

"I know," I said with a smile, and parked my car right in front of the main entrance.

"What are we doing?"

"Picking out everything that you want for the yard," I told her happily.

She smiled at me. "That's sweet, but I'm pretty sure they're closed," she said again with a bit of a laugh. I took the keys out of the ignition, and walked over to her door at a human pace since the owner was watching us. I opened it for her, and took her hand as I led her out. I took her face gently in my hands.

"I paid them to close for the day so you would have it all to yourself. No crowds, no headaches." I waved the owner over without looking at him. "You will pick out everything that you want, and they will load it up and bring it over to the house tomorrow."

Her eyes went huge as she stared at me in shock. They started to shimmer, and her voice came out as a whisper when she spoke. "Thank you Edward."

I smiled at her brilliantly. "I'd do anything and everything to make you happy Isabella." She smiled up at me as a tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, and I kissed her quickly. The store owner waited patiently until I was done.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. We're all ready for you," he said politely. My hold on my wife tightened a little as his eyes traveled over her. I think she noticed also, because she pulled up the zipper on her sweater to cover herself more. I glared at him, and he quickly paled. If I wasn't so adamant about doing this for her, I would have brought my business elsewhere.

_Shit, pull it together Adam. God it looks like he's going to kill me. I can't lose out on this business_. "Please, come on in," he gestured, and I gave him one more warning glance before smiling at Isabella and leading her inside. She was practically glowing.

She was a little nervous at first, timid almost as we browsed through the aisles. "Do you have any ideas of what you'd like to do? We have plenty of time, this is yours for the entire day," I reassured her.

"I have a couple ideas," she said shyly. I pulled her over to the empty service counter. I had told the manager that I wanted absolutely no one here. Unfortunately that left us with only him, but he was giving us plenty of space. She watched me as I grabbed a clip board and pencil comfortably off of the desk, then pulled her into my lap as I sat down on a bench. I rested my chin on her shoulder as I quickly sketched out an exact aerial view of our property on her lap.

"Show me," I said gently. She smiled before kissing my cheek, and took the pencil out of my hand. She drew out a winding path that she wanted to do in stone right down to the beach. She wanted to keep all of the large trees that were scattered around the yard, and make large circular gardens around each of them, and then more gardens around the front and back porches and along the sides of the house. She drew in a gazebo too that would look over the lake.

"What do you think?" She asked tentatively.

"I think it will look beautiful," I told her. "Want to look at stones first?"

"Sure," she said happily. "And then we'll need dirt, lots of it, crushed stone for laying out the walkway, and a _lot_ of flowers."

"Excellent." I stood up and kissed her as I set her down, then led her over to their large selections of walkway stones. I was easily able to do the math in my mind for how much we needed, and the owner listened carefully and took down notes as I listed to him what she wanted. After she chose her stones, I had the store owner running back and forth with wagon after wagon of plants that Isabella picked out. I told her not to hold back, and was pleased when she listened. I didn't feel guilty when I saw that the man was almost sweating, I paid very good money for his services and he had a lot of work to do to get into my good books after the way he had looked at my wife. She was obviously enjoying herself though, and that made it all worthwhile.

"Okay, I think we have enough," she said with a laugh.

"Are you sure? It's a pretty big yard." She nodded happily at me, and I heard her stomach rumble slightly. "Shall we go pick up something for dinner?" I asked, the manager still hovering close to us. She nodded happily, and I kissed her before sitting her down on a bench while I went to take care of the bill. As we walked over to his office, we passed a plant that Isabella must have missed, because I knew she would love the large, vibrant purple flowers on it. I picked it up, carrying it with me over to his office. It took him awhile to do the math, and I waited impatiently, peeking around the corner at Isabella while she swung her feet lightly beneath her. She smiled brightly when a green dragon fly landed next to her, and leaned over to inspect it closely without touching it. I let out a happy sigh as I watched her, and felt like she had actually heard me because she looked up at me and smiled.

"It must be frustrating waiting for him to add all those up, I bet it only took you seconds to do it in your mind," she said quietly. Even from this distance I could hear her perfectly, though the man next to me had no idea. I grinned and nodded at her. When he finally finished, I paid quickly and practically ran back to her side.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked, wrapping my arm around her as I walked her back to the car. She was still debating her answer as I closed her door and walked over to mine.

"I think pizza," she said. She gave me the name of the restaurant and I made my way over to it easily. We got out of the car and walked across the parking lot, but she stopped halfway through, cringing. "Actually, I think I'd rather just make something at home tonight," she said, turning around without looking up at me. I looked at her worriedly, and could hear the thoughts of about thirty people inside.

"I can order for you, and you can sit in the car if you want," I asked her gently, cupping her face in my hands. She looked at me nervously. "You don't have to hide with me Isabella. It's okay if you don't want to go inside, but I really don't mind going in for you," I reassured her. I saw her relax a little and smiled. "What would you like on it?"

She didn't answer me, instead leaning up and pulling my face down to hers to kiss me. I held her gently until she leaned away from me again, and smiled down at her. I walked her back over to the car, and kissed her again before walking back and ordering for her.

I was still grinning to myself as I waited for the order, even with the annoying, loud buzz of thoughts that were running through my mind. It was deafening after spending an entire week alone with no one but Isabella. It would have been nice to be able to hear her thoughts though, just so I could see what she was doing.

So when I saw her face in his mind, it shocked me for a moment. He started walking to her across the parking lot quickly. The coincidence, because that was all it was, of that vile man living in this town still bothered me immensely. That he would move here for work after his wife left him just two years before we did was angering, but we hadn't run into him again in this large town since we moved here. I went to go outside, but as soon as I reached the door they called out my number. By the time I had gotten the pizza he had already reached her, and I forced myself to walk out of the crowded building at a human pace. I could hear his voice as soon as I stepped outside.

"You cost me a client," he growled down at her. She looked up at him with a gaze so powerful, so dark and cold that it made him flinch back a little.

"You cost yourself a client, George," she hissed, crossing her arms and casually leaning back against the car. There wasn't a trace of fear in her voice, and I smiled over at my incredible wife. She didn't need me to protect her, but I wanted to anyways. I crushed one end of the cardboard box in my hand when he reached forward and grabbed her arm.

"You were always ungrateful, after everything we did for-"

"_You_ didn't do _anything_ for me. And if you don't let go of me right now I'm pretty sure my husband is going to kill you." She tried to pull her arm away from him, but he held on tighter and she winced, staggering slightly. He didn't hear me as I walked up behind him, grabbed the back of his collar and ripped him back away from her, lifting him off the ground as I brought him up to my eye level and glared at him. His face paled, and I saw his fear.

"What? You only feel confident picking fights with women that are half your size?" I asked in a dark growl. He didn't say anything, but his heart rate was dangerously high. This was the _normal_ reaction that humans had with my kind. "Apologize to my wife," I ordered, dropping him back onto the ground. He went to run, but my vision was tinged red, and I pushed him back onto the ground. I felt Isabella's hand rest on my arm, and I relaxed slightly under her touch.

"We're not alone Edward," she whispered quietly. I quickly searched in my mind and realized that there were a few people in the parking lot watching us curiously.

"He's not leaving until he apologizes to you," I told her. His eyes flickered back over to her then back at me, and when I took another step closer he flinched.

"I'm sorry!" He shouted, and Isabella restrained my arm as he got up and ran. I watched him darkly as he disappeared into his car and drove away.

Isabella let go of me, and I watched as she walked over and picked up the box I had dropped on the ground. She walked over and stepped into the car without looking at me. I felt my body go cold when I realized what I had just done in front of her. I quickly walked over to my door and slid inside.

"I'm sorry," we both said at the exact same time. She looked up at me a little surprised.

"Why are _you_ apologizing?" I asked curiously.

"For bringing all of this stupid drama into your life," she said in exasperation, watching my face worriedly. "You're always saving me."

"It is not your fault that you had the misfortune of meeting him," I told her seriously. It was mine, actually, but I knew what she would say if I told her that. We had been over that already, and she wasn't one to have the patience to go over the same conversation twice. She watched me for a long moment before doing up her seat belt and rubbing her forehead. I quickly started up my car and pulled out of the parking lot. She relaxed and smiled again once we went past the edge of town.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked her quietly. She looked over and watched me for a minute before answering.

"No."

"Well, I'm still sorry for losing my temper like that," I told her. She smiled up at me, placing her hand on my thigh.

"It's okay."

"Is your arm okay?"

She hesitated for a moment. "It kind of stings, but it's not too bad," she said quietly. I gripped onto the steering wheel a little tighter.

"I'll make an ice pack for you as soon as we get home," I told her. She nodded, and inhaled the smell of her food deeply, then looked over at me before cracking the window. God she was amazing.

I got us home quickly, driving much faster than I usually did. Isabella quickly walked into the kitchen to take her pills, but flinched when she reached up for the cupboard. I stopped her, and unzipped her sweater before sliding it off her shoulders. She stood still, and let me inspect her arm.

"You shouldn't be bruising this quickly," I said, forcing my voice to be calm. I sighed, and reached up for her blood thinners, then handed her one.

"Why not two?" She asked curiously.

"It should help with the bruising," I told her, my heart wedged into my throat with my fear.

"I don't care about the bruises Edward," she said, and took the bottle out of my hand.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said sternly, swallowing her pills and taking her plate over to the living room. I let out a small sigh, and sat down next to her. She had turned on the television, but handed me the remote when I sat down and started eating. She seemed a little frustrated for a few minutes, but after she ate she was a little more relaxed. I tentatively draped an arm around her shoulders, and let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding when she leaned into me. I slid my hand gently over the bruise that was starting to form on her arm. She flinched at first, but relaxed under my cool hand.

"Is this okay?"

She nodded, and rested her head against me. "It feels nice," she whispered. "So when are they going to bring our stuff over tomorrow?"

"Not until around noon. What do you want to start doing first?"

"The walk way and the walls around the trees," she said quickly. I nodded, and took a steadying breath.

"Would you mind if maybe Esme and I take care of that part?" I asked her hesitantly. Her face was a perfect, calm mask, but she didn't speak for a moment.

"Okay," she said in a steady voice, but she didn't look up at me. I was about to ask her if she was sure that she didn't mind, but as I saw her hands ball up in fists as she gripped onto the small pillow that was on her lap I knew that she did. She minded a lot, but she was agreeing anyways.

"Thank you," I told her, and her hands seemed to relax. She was silent for a little while, but after a couple minutes she moved a little closer, resting her head against my arm and closing her eyes tightly. My body seemed to relax from the contact, and I hadn't realized that I hadn't been breathing.

As usual, it was hard not to just stare at her while she sat there with her eyes closed, made even worse by my worry about her. I felt like her breathing was a little too even, and her body didn't seem to actually relax. She was still for so long though, hours. I had expected her to maybe fall asleep like that, to anyone who didn't know her as well as I did she probably looked like she was asleep, but I knew she wasn't.

And I was right. Around eleven thirty she sat back up, kissing my cheek before getting up and walking over to the bedroom. I heard her turn on the light inside our closet before closing the door, and opening a drawer. After turning off the television and the light I kicked off my jeans then shirt habitually before flipping back the blankets and sitting up in our bed.

She was taking a long time to get changed, and I hadn't even heard her move for a while, but just as I started to lean forward to go check on her she turned off the light and came out. She gave me a small smile as she walked over in a small, dark grey silk nightgown. I was sort of frozen watching her easily walk around the bed in the dark, the sight of her smooth legs, and the lace on her hip as she crawled into bed next to me almost making me shake. The only thing that stopped me from ripping the blankets back off of her was how tired she looked.

But I had to be touching her. She was still smiling at me, and before she settled I slid closer to her, my right arm folding underneath her pillow. She rolled over onto her side as I wrapped my other arm around her waist, leaning her back against my chest as she closed her eyes. With my face buried in her thick hair, there was no other scent in the world besides her and the smell of her strawberry shampoo.

It could be a little distracting sometimes, just being enveloped in the life-altering, powerful scent of her, hearing nothing but her heartbeat and even breathing. It took me much too long to realize that she still hadn't fallen asleep.

What was even more worrying was the fact that I believed she was trying to _pretend_ she was asleep. It was very convincing, and the effort it must be taking, timing her breathing and how completely still she was, frightened me. Something was really wrong, so wrong that she would rather feign sleeping for so many hours than talk to me.

By five in the morning she wasn't able to hide the tremors in her body from the effort anymore, and I couldn't bear another second of it. I pulled away slightly and easily rolled her body to face mine. After lightly smoothing my thumb over one of the dark circles under her eyes, she took in a slightly shaking breath, and opened her eyes to look at me. Pain shot through my body as I easily saw the suffering in her deep eyes, and as though she actually saw it she cringed, clenching her eyes shut while her body stiffened. My hold on her automatically tightened and she started shaking even more, her heart rate going up slightly while her breath caught in her throat. I took her face in my hands gently, titling her head to face mine as I kissed her. I started to panic when she went rigid, then moved to pull away from me.

"I'm sorry, I swear we can find a safe way for you to work with the stones. I'm so sorry, I know how much you-"

She silenced me with a gentle kiss, her body still shaking from exhaustion. The smile she gave me broke my heart. It was so gentle, so loving and concerned, but her exhaustion from trying to conceal the pain she was in was drowning. "No Edward, I really don't mind at all. You were right, last time I did stone work I hurt myself like five times a day, and as much as I had liked it I don't want to risk doing that. I think you and Esme would do a much nicer job too," she said, complete honesty in her eyes.

"Then what's wrong?" I whispered, brushing her hair behind her ear as I held her a little closer. It had been obvious before the flash of worry that went through her eyes that she didn't want to talk about it though. "Please Isabella, talk to me. Let me help you," I begged.

She shut her eyes again, and I forced myself to be patient while she struggled to force herself to speak. My fear continued to rise with every passing second.

What if she's changed her mind, wants me to change her, and is just too afraid to talk about it? Maybe she just needs a little-

"I need to leave for a little while," she said in a painful whisper. I forced myself not to panic. Isabella, I couldn't deny that she was the stronger of the two of us in many ways, my tiny, young, human wife. She was the one who was always trying to be strong for me. Now she needed it though, and I kissed her gently on her forehead.

"Where do you have to go?"

It was three and a half minutes before she spoke. "I have to go back to La Push."

I needed to stay calm. She said she only needed to leave for a little while, she wasn't leaving _me_. The painful realization hit me; she wanted to go to say goodbye to her family. She was afraid of what it would do to me though, she didn't want to hurt me.

But I would do anything for her. I needed to make her happy, and this was something I could give her. "It's a forty hour drive, so maybe a three day drive one way if we stop at hotels, or we could take Esme's truck and I could drive through the night."

"Edward, I would never ask you to do that," she said quickly, her voice close to terrified.

"I really don't mind, and I don't want you to deal with that by yourself," I told her, begging her with my eyes just not to leave without me. I could see that she really didn't want to leave me though.

"What if someone recognizes you?"

"Tinted windows, and I won't go into any public places. I can easily scan any minds around us and know if it's anyone I've met before," I told her quickly. She had been expecting me to say that though, she was stalling from saying her true fears, and it clicked. "Are you afraid of them knowing that you're married to a vampire?"

"No, I would never hide my love for you, from anyone. I'm proud to be married to you," she told me fiercely, there wasn't a hint of lie in her eyes.

"Then why don't you want me to come with you?"

She watched me for another long moment, and closed her eyes in resignation before she spoke. "Because the pack shares a mind. They know everything about everyone's lives, every thought, every secret, even the private ones." She opened her eyes, and they were brimming with tears as they met mine. "I don't want you to have to see me with another man through their minds."

My eyes went wide as that sunk in. Yes, I knew about the relationship that she had had with Jacob, but actually having to see it…

I couldn't let her leave without me though. Not just because I couldn't stand the thought of being away from her for even a few hours, but because she was sick. I had to be with her, I had to keep her safe. "It's okay Isabella. I know you love me, just as much as I love you, and nothing will ever change that. Please let me come with you. I swear I'll be okay, I need to be with you, and I know you don't want to be without me."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks as her arms wrapped around my neck, hugging onto me tightly. I held her gently, protectively, and braced myself to argue, plead, and beg her not to leave me. Nothing could be as painful as that, and I knew she wouldn't be able to hurt me like that. She needed me too, but her instincts were always to protect me.

Even the first time I had ever talked to her, sneaking into her room in the middle of the night and staring at her. Even with her obvious dislike of me, a stranger, she had still been worried that I wasn't okay.

But she nodded. I sighed in relief, holding her a little more tightly. "Thank you Isabella, thank you."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, barely louder than a breath. I shook my head though, swiping away at her tears and I covered her face with soft, grateful kisses.

"When do you want to leave?" I asked her carefully. "I can easily have Esme come handle the delivery this afternoon." I wanted to do this as soon as possible, before she got worse, and before it could start to eat away at her. She needed to do this. We had watched her carefully in the beginning, she had been from a place where we had lived before and we needed to be cautious. She had only written one letter, Alice had seen her do it. It was to her friend Angela, and it was a goodbye, saying that she couldn't come back. But on the end, she had asked her to tell another woman, someone none of us knew, only saying that she wasn't able to contact her herself. She had told me herself that she had meant to go back, and I understood why she couldn't after she lost her baby. She loved them so much, and had never even gotten to say goodbye, or explain what had happened.

Because she was worried about their safety, because of us.

"Could we leave tomorrow? I need some time to pack," she said, her tone still flooded with guilt.

"Of course, do you need to go into town for anything before we leave?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Just the bank," she said.

"Okay," I told her, leaning in and kissing her forehead.

The room had begun to brighten as the sun started to near the horizon, and Isabella rolled back to look at the clock when she noticed. She rolled back over, and looked at me for a long moment before leaning in and kissing me.

"I'm going to jump in the shower," she said softly, sitting up and pushing back the blankets. One of the delicate straps of her night gown was hanging off her shoulder, distracting me slightly as she hung her feet off the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes. She swayed when she stood up, losing her balance, but I easily caught her before she could hit the floor. "Sorry," she said, looking kind of disoriented. When her hands touched my chest though, her eyes went wide, and that alluring shade of pink spread across her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" I asked, steadying her on her feet and carefully holding onto her waist. Her heat was burning me through the thin silk of her shirt.

"Yeah, just a little head rush," she said, not pulling away. Her fingertips slid down my stomach slowly, and my body instinctively held her a little more tightly.

The look in her eyes made me twitch against her stomach, and her heart rate picked up as she pushed herself against me.

Everything else in the world faded away as my hands slid down her sides, easily lifting her up to my lips. Her hands were trembling as she took my face in them, but her kiss was very soft, tender. I carried her into the bathroom without breaking the kiss, turning on the shower before setting her down, and sliding her shirt over her head. She was still trembling, her body tired from the lack of sleep, but it wasn't enough to deter her as she quickly pulled down my boxers and backed me into the warm water of the shower and she took me in her hand. I sucked in a sharp breath from the sudden directness of her heat against my skin, and the look of the pleased smiled on her face drove me insane. I took her wrists in my hands, pinning them against the wall as I kissed her quickly. I pushed my knee in between hers, spreading her legs, and felt my chest vibrate with my growl of lust as she rubbed herself against me.

I don't know how I had thought I was living before this. I lived for the sight of watching her like this, the way she so obviously enjoyed being with me, the way she melted under my fingers and responded to my every touch, how perfect our bodies were together.

I transferred both of her wrists to one of my hands easily, holding them behind her back as my lips quickly traveled down her throat, her breasts and her soft stomach before I hitched one of her legs over my shoulder and knelt in front of her. She wiggled wantonly in my grasp as I parted her with my fingers, tasting her with slow long strokes of my tongue. She whimpered as my free hand slid back up her stomach, and twisted from of her firm nipples gently with my fingers. She flinched, and I held her in place while my tongue lapped at her hungrily, feeling myself throb almost painfully as I watched her squirm in undisguised pleasure as she neared her climax. As soon as she peaked, I flashed to my feat, lifting her up and kissing her as I thrust inside of her.

She cried out, gripping onto my shoulders tightly as her legs wrapped around me. I smiled at my goddess as she gasped against my lips, enjoying the sensation of her clenching around me as I filled her. She moved herself against me, her whole body shuddering against mine. It was an almost violent shudder, and I worried for a moment that I might have hurt her.

"Do you want me to stop?' I asked her gently. Her eyes shot open, and she smiled hungrily at me.

"I don't want you to _ever_ stop," she said thickly, moving herself against me. I growled again, and thrust into her hard. Her gasp was almost a scream, but she begged me to keep going.

I didn't need any more encouragement to oblige.

. . . . . . . . . .

She had practically passed out eating her breakfast, and fell asleep in my arms when she finished while I was carrying her over to the bed. I took advantage of the time by texting Alice and Carlisle, telling them what we were doing while I asked Carlisle to bring home a few things from work for me.

Just a few emergency supplies.

Just in case.

They were both worried of course, but I told them that it was something that she needed to do.

I would have preferred to let her sleep the entire day, and deliberated what to do when I felt the men from the nursery approach the turnoff for our driveway. As soon as they turned onto our drive though, her face scrunched slightly, before she rubbed at her eyes and sat up.

"Are those the guys from the nursery?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah, I can go take care of them for you if you want though."

She smiled up at me and gave me a light kiss. "No, that's okay. Certain plants need to be left in certain lights, and I want to make sure they unload them properly." I grinned back at her, scooping her up in my arms and flashing to the closet so we could put on some clothes.

I hated watching her putting on clothes, but there was no way I'd ever share the sight of her.

I watched with an amused smile as Isabella comfortably ordered around the movers, inspecting each of the plants they unloaded and telling them which walls of the house to leave them beside. I quickly realized that each side of the house had different amounts of sunlight throughout the day, and was impressed but not surprised by her knowledge. I noticed when she found the purple flower that I picked out. She looked at it curiously, and picked it up herself before carrying it over to me.

"Did you pick out this one?" She asked curiously. I was a little surprised that she had noticed so quickly, she had gotten a _lot_ of plants.

I smiled at her and nodded, and she gave me a curious smile before looking back down at it tenderly. "Don't you like it?"

"Oh, I think hyacinths are beautiful," she told me reassuringly. The oddness of the look she had given me was still nagging at me.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said quickly. "It's just that purple hyacinth symbolizes sorrow." My eyes went a little wide for a moment. I knew that certain flowers were supposed to represent different things, but I really had never been interested enough in that sort of thing to look into it. Of course that would be something Isabella would know though. There was so much random knowledge floating around in her silent mind. "I really do love them though. Not only are they beautiful, but it's good to have balance."

"What do you mean?" I asked, intrigued. I so badly wanted to know what was going on in that silent mind of hers.

She looked up at me for a minute, debating her words, before giving me a small smile. "Without emotion man would be nothing but a biological computer. Love, joy, sorrow, fear, anger, apprehension, satisfaction and discontent provide the meaning for human existence," she quoted.

"Arnold M. Ludwig," I said, recognizing the quote. I had gone over it while taking a psychology course. She smiled while nodding.

"Though I think it goes far beyond a human existence. It's what the entire universe is made of. Nothing is ever on one complete end of the spectrum, everything in the world needs balance. And really, could someone ever really appreciate true happiness if they hadn't experienced sadness?" She watched me for a moment, and I couldn't put a name to the intense expression in her eyes. It disappeared quickly though, and she smiled up at me before taking her flowers and walking to set them on the west side of the house. She came back and sat on the front steps with me as the men finished unloading the stone from the truck, resting her head against my arm and smiling. It took them a while to finish, and she had gone inside and come out with a leftover piece of pizza from yesterday. "Do you think Esme would mind taking care of the plants while we're gone?" She asked worriedly. I smiled at the tender tone in her voice once again as she referred to the plants.

"I'm certain that she won't mind in the slightest," I told her, leaning in and kissing the side of her head. She relaxed against me, but jumped to her feet and ran over when one of the men was apparently carrying a shrub wrong. He had almost rolled his eyes at her, but when I stood up in warning his face paled, and I grinned as he apologized quickly to her and didn't say another word.

They finished pretty quickly when I walked up to them and started supervising more closely. I still thought it was funny, how these two large males could be intimidated, frightened almost by my presence, while my little wife walked up to me with a delighted smiled, wrapping her arms around my waist.

As soon as they finished, I watched her happily as she watered all of her new plants, before grabbing her purse and walking over to the garage to leave. She was feeling a little too tired to drive, but still wanted to take the Ferrari. I smiled, remembering when she had said that she wouldn't be able to forgive me if I had bought her a Ferrari. She _adored_ it. It had taken a few years, but it made me happy that she didn't get so upset when I got her things anymore. It always made me so happy, being able to put a smile on her face with something so small. That she was _letting_ herself be happy.

We went to the bank first, and I waited with her in the car until I couldn't hear more than a few people inside. She still seemed nervous though, and I was relieved when she said I could come in with her. It was painful to watch as she had me listed as a beneficiary on her account, and then took out a hundred-thousand dollars. I waited until we got in the car before asking what she was doing with all that money.

"Jacob had taken care of Billy alone after his sisters left. Paul imprinted on his sister, so I'm sure that she stayed, but I just want to make sure that he's taken care of." It was still strange, hearing her talk about her life before I met her. It was a rarity, so much so that it made it easy to forget that I had really only been in her life for a few years, and she had had an entire different one before that. A few of them, actually. I reached over and took her hand, bringing it up to my lips and placing a kiss in her palm. The small smile that she gave me looked so painful.

Esme was waiting for us with dinner for Isabella when we got home, and pulled her into a hug as soon as she saw her.

_I left the bag from Carlisle on your desk upstairs_, she thought, sitting Isabella down on the couch and rushing to fix her plate.

"Thank you," I whispered, too low for Isabella to hear. She didn't need to know, and I knew that the knowledge of that bag would stress her. Isabella asked her guiltily if she could take care of her plants for her for the week, and went out to show her them to her excitedly when she finished eating. I walked with them, still finding the obvious affection she had for all of the little plants moving, and loving the excited look on her face as she explained her plans to Esme.

It was quite warm out, and as they were walking around Isabella shrugged off her sweater, throwing it over her arm as she walked around, outlining the walls around the large trees that she wanted to put up for the gardens. Esme froze when she saw the large, black and blue bruise wrapping around her upper arm, peeking below the sleeve of her t-shirt. Her eyes shot accusingly at me, and I flinched.

"She ran into that Realtor, George, yesterday when we were picking up dinner. He grabbed her while I was inside," I explained, and her face turned horrified.

_Edward, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-_

"No, it's okay," I told her sadly. Her distrust for me hurt, but I couldn't really hold it against her. She couldn't see the larger bruises wrapping around her waist. Isabella hadn't heard our exchange, but like she could just sense my pain, she moved closer to me, smiling up at me lovingly while her arm slid around my back. Seeing Isabella's obvious love for me in that one little movement amplified Esme's guilt, and she gave us both a hug before leaving. We went back inside, and started packing before Isabella fell asleep. After she was tucked safely into our bed, I quickly put my things into the truck Esme dropped off for us, and curled up behind her, wishing I didn't deserve the distrust my family had for me, sharing this bed with my wife.

. . . . . . . . . .

She was a ball of stress the next day, waking up hours before I usually woke her. She hopped in the shower as soon as she woke up, and I loaded her things into Esme's truck while she ate breakfast. We were on the road at five after seven, and I couldn't take more than five minutes of the obvious guilt she had over bringing me with her. I unfastened her seat belt before pulling her into my side along the long bench, and felt my body relax when hers did.

I drove through the first night, but we stopped on the second when we reached Seattle. I hated letting her sleep the night in a moving vehicle, no matter how comfortable she looked, though I was enjoying buying her meals and not having her cook. I could tell that the headaches were already getting to her, and was thankful to the higher powers that my presence seemed to ease some of the pain for her. It was a really curious thing, how we seemed to do that for each other. Her electricity quieted the voices in my head, had silenced them all together sometimes, and it seemed to blur out the shadows in her mind too, so she'd told me. Like we'd been given this gift so we could help each other. She curled up against me, her hot, tingling hands resting against my bare chest, and her body relaxed as she let out a soft sigh. I held her a little more closely, and watched as she smiled slightly.

"Have you thought about what you're going to say to them?" I asked hesitantly, watching her carefully. She opened her eyes, but was looking at her hands on my chest, not at my face.

"I have, but I still don't know," she said quietly. "It's been three years, I'm not sure how they're going to feel about me showing up."

I didn't know these people, what they had been like with her, and had no way of offering her an opinion about their reaction. I would find some way to help her through this though. "What do you _want_ to say to them?"

She only paused a few seconds before answering me honestly. "That I'm sorry for never coming back, and for what I put them through. And that I never stopped loving them," she said, trembling slightly in my arms. She looked up at me pleadingly. "I didn't know what else to do Edward." There was a sort of fear in her voice, and I saw in her eyes that she thought I might look down on her for what she had done to them.

"You left because you loved them, and were trying to protect them. It's what you do, you protect people, and it's a noble quality. It's so much a part of you that you've manifested an actual _shield_ around you Isabella. And I know just how painful it was for you to do it, I saw it before I even knew why. You didn't take the easy route, you chose them over yourself because you loved them. And I love you for it, not in spite of it."

"I don't deserve you," she whispered painfully, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I was made for you," I whispered back kissing her softly before holding her tightly against myself. I didn't let her go, I held her, and she held me, until she relaxed in my arms and eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.

. . . . . . . . . .

"I can't bring you onto the reservation, but if we park at the treaty line someone will come," she said quietly. She was wearing her calm mask once again, but I knew it wasn't for me. It was instinctual for her, trying to brace herself for the pain she was expecting. I nodded, knowing exactly where it was. It had been made for my family, after all. When I came up to it, I pulled over onto the side of the road. "Would you mind waiting in here? I'm just going to stand outside so they can smell me."

She had been in my world much longer than I'd been in hers, the ease in which she said those types of things still surprised me. I nodded to her, seeing in her eyes that she wouldn't be able to handle me kissing her right now. She unbuckled her seat belt, stepped out, and walked around to lean against the front of the truck.

I watched, her back to me as her long hair blew around her in the wind, while I listened. Even though I could smell them, it was five minutes before I heard them. Isabella's head turned automatically when she approached the treeline, and she stared over at the long-haired, silver-grey wolf calmly.

"Hey Leah," she said quietly.

_Belle? Oh my god, its BELLE!_ She shouted through her mental link. The line ended before I heard anyone else as she phased, pulling on an old white sundress covered in sunflowers that she'd had tied to her leg, and running through the tree line. She pulled Isabella into her arms, lifting her off the ground as they hugged each other tightly. "I can't believe you're actually here, I never thought we'd see you again, what-" _What the hell?_ She sniffed her, putting her down and taking a quick step back. "Belle, why do you smell like a leech?" Her eyes quickly shifted over, seeing me sitting in the truck for the first time. _Doctor Masen?_

I nodded once, and the woman, Leah, looked between Isabella and me. She took a minute to inspect the changes of time on Isabella. Slightly taller, thinner, longer hair… and my ring on Isabella's left hand. I got out of the car when I saw her skin vibrate as anger rolled over her. Two more wolves came through the trees as I moved closer to Isabella, prepared to pull her away at any second.

"Leah, it's not-"

"What the fuck is going on Belle? That's not Jake's ring, what are you doing with _him_?" She immediately noted the matching silver ring on my left hand, and her face paled. _No… How could she do this? After everything… _The images flowed through her mind.

_Isabella screaming next to Charlie's dead body, the vampire stalking towards her in anticipation, and the fear in his face as they chased him all the way into the ocean._

_Isabella shrieking, clutching at the dead body of Jacob Black as they carried him towards her. How Leah had to hold her while Isabella watched him burn, fighting to get away. It had been obvious in her strangled cries that she wanted nothing more than to burn and leave the world with him._

_Weeks going by, hiding away so she couldn't be taken back into the system. How for those weeks she hadn't spoke, hadn't looked a single person in the eye. She couldn't stay still anymore, constantly cleaning, sitting obediently and eating when she was reminded to do so._

The two large wolves, both different shades of an almost sandy brown, growled as they stalked towards me. I stayed completely still, watching carefully.

"Seth, Quil, stop. Leah, please just give me a second to explain," she begged, but the woman was looking at me now. Glaring at me_. I don't care that he saved Dad, what is he doing with her? This must be why she said she couldn't contact us._

"Move out of the way Belle," she growled, but Isabella stepped in front of the vibrating woman, un-afraid though she had to know how close she was to phasing.

"_No_, I will not move out of your way. Edward is under _my_ protection, and none of you are going to touch him," Isabella practically growled. I realized in her movements then she wasn't treating me like her husband.

She was protecting me like her mate.

I wasn't the only one who saw this, and the thought pushed the woman over the edge. I pulled Isabella towards me seconds before she phased. My sudden movement caused the three wolves to lunge at me at once.

"NO!" Isabella shouted, the power of her voice crackling through the air, and all three of them were hit back by the invisible wall of her shield. It wasn't enough to hurt them, but it stopped them all in their tracks.

Then Isabella collapsed.

"No! Isabella!" I caught her easily, kneeling down on the ground with her. "No no no, you're okay, you're okay… Love? Please, wake up," I said. I took her pulse carefully, watching her breathing and ignoring the voices of the wolves as they surged back on in my mind. There were six of them now, watching us in stunned silence. Just like with James, it seemed the exertion had caused her to pass out. Her heartrate and breathing were both stable.

A very large, naked man knelt down next to me. I recognized him immediately, he had not aged a day since the last time I had seen him. Sam Uley, once again the Alpha of the wolf pack.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

"That's not an easy question to answer," I told him, gently shifting her in my arms and standing up. I held her protectively against my chest, stepping back from the pack instinctually.

God, it was not easy to concentrate around the lot of them. All of their mental voices filled with the voices of the others, individual thoughts echoing simultaneously from different minds. It was like being in a crowd of thirty people, not six.

"What do you mean?" He watched me suspiciously. He knew from the yellow of my eyes that I was still in accordance with the treaty, and easily saw that I was in love with my wife.

After all these years, they all still saw her as their sister, the mate of their alpha. They couldn't hate her, they were all just relieved that she was here, alive. Even if she was with me.

Isabella would forgive me for this, I didn't want her to deal with the stress of this conversation herself anyways.

"Isabella…. Has a unique gift."

"The shield? Did she figure out what it was?"

I only faltered for a moment, seeing the image of her, wrapped in Jacob Black's arms as she told them about what had transpired with Elijah.

"Yes, somewhat. She has the ability to block the mental gifts of other vampires, and… you witnessed what she just did to three of your wolves. Some sort of physical shield."

"So what's wrong with her?" His five wolves were watching me expectantly, unmoving.

"We think it caused her to get ill. She has a large tumor in her brain, it's too severe for treatment." I had to ignore their thoughts, this was too hard.

"Are you saying that, she's…"

"She'll be lucky if she makes it to the end of the year," I forced myself to say painfully. I winced as my agony was reflected back to me through six other minds. I took a steadying breath, wrinkling my nose from the smell of wet dog. "I brought her here because she wanted to say goodbye to you. For years she's been torturing herself about not being able to come back. We didn't think she was going to survive when she lost her child in the accident. She's convinced herself that she's cursed, and didn't come back because she felt that she needed to protect you from herself. She left because she loved you. This stress is too much for her though, I can't let her stay here. The repercussions of what she just did, it could have worsened her condition, and I can't take the chance. But now you know."

I opened up the door to the truck, laying her down on the bench very gently.

"Wait," he said, holding my door open. I watched him suspiciously for a moment as he warred with himself in his mind. "Would you… As Alpha of the pack, I'm granting you temporary permission to come onto our land. Please, just… don't leave yet." _No, we finally got her back, we didn't even get to speak with her._ "Would you be willing to come to my house?"

No, I did not want to do that, but Isabella… she needed this. And I needed to make her happy.

"Okay, but if she-"

"That won't happen again. I don't believe you intend our sister any harm, and my pack will not touch you." I nodded, hearing his sincerity in his mind. Another of the wolves phased, and he quickly pulled on a pair of worn, cut-off jeans.

"Hey, I'm Seth," the man said, holding out his hand awkwardly to shake mine. His gaze kept flickering to Isabella though. An image of her, laughing happily as Jacob ran into the water with her over his shoulder. The brilliant smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him as his arms wrapped around her delicate waist in the water. "I can drive over with you guys if you want."

"Okay," I said, fighting the urge to ball my hands into fists and break the steering wheel. He ran around to the other side of the truck as the wolves ran back into the forest, and he delicately lifted Isabella's head, placing it in his lap as he started directing me.

It was a small house, and I felt an odd twinge in my stomach when I realized that it reminded me of our house, and Isabella's house in New Brunswick before that. Quiet, surrounded by thick forests, gardens, a small and cozy interior. Is that what she had been looking for? A replacement for the home she wished she was in? I carried her inside easily, and felt very much out of place as I laid her down on the couch in his living room. The wolves filed into the house, taking seats around the room quietly as they watched her.

"The last time this happened, she slept for ten hours. It might be a while before she wakes up," I told them.

"Why did she do it before?" Leah asked me with a glare. _God, I can't stand that smell..._

"A vampire crossed our path a while back, almost a year ago. He lunged at my sister trying to get to her, and she hit him with her shield." A couple of them started to shake again. "We destroyed him quickly. I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to her safety." It was bothering me the way they looked at me. I could protect her best, and I wanted them to know that.

I was surprised seeing Leah smile. "I can see that, she's always been a tough one," she said lovingly, folding herself on the floor next to the couch and brushing Isabella's hair off of her face.

"_Jacob's biased. They barely touched me Leah, and I pretty much kicked both of their asses, as hard as that may be to believe. I think you would have been proud of me if you'd been there."_

"_I would have killed them if I had been there, and I would have done it without breaking my hand." Isabella punched her in the arm with her cast, flinching before laughing._

"What was that? Why did she have a cast on her arm?" I asked her, enraged. I realized my slip too late.

"What?" _What the hell? Did he…_

"I'm telepathic. I can read your minds, all of them, all at the same time. It's not something I can turn off. Why did she have the cast on her arm?"

She was too enraged to speak, the man named Seth was the one to answer me. "She was shopping with a friend in Seattle. They got cornered by two guys in an alley. Isabella broke her hand when she punched one of them in the face."

"What happened to the men?" I asked darkly, the urge I had had to crush David's skull flared to life inside of me again.

"Nothing, never found them. Belle kicked one in the sack, and emptied a container of pepper spray into the other's face before punching him, and they ran."

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I had asked if Isabella had been the one to empty the container of pepper spray, and she said no.

No, actually. She hadn't told me she hadn't emptied it, all she said was that I worried too much. All these people here…. They knew her for nine months, whereas my family had known her for three years, but I felt like they knew more about her than I did.

The door flew open, and a woman with brutal scars running down the side of her face ran past me, dropping to her knees in front of Isabella as tears rolled out of her eyes. She was at least eight months pregnant, the wife of the alpha. He had called her and told her what had happened. It was a long time before she looked up at me. I stood out drastically with my pale skin in this group of overgrown young men.

"Thank you for staying, for not leaving with her," she said. She knew what I was, and what I didn't eat, but she was still uncomfortable around me. Her mate seemed to sense as much, walking up and putting a comforting arm around her. I nodded at her, not knowing what else to do. "You're welcome in our home as long as you'd like."

"Thank you."

She glanced at the ring on my finger, then back over to Isabella with a pained smile. I flinched, seeing Isabella scream out in pain as she collapsed in this Emily's mind. It took me a minute to understand. She had actually _felt _ it when Jacob had died. That was… I didn't know what to think about that. The imprint didn't work both ways like that, it was unique for her to have felt it.

When seven rolled around, I got a needle to inject her blood thinners. She still hadn't stirred yet. The wolves watched me carefully as I pushed up her sleeve and injected her very carefully.

"What are you giving her?" Leah asked. She still didn't trust me.

"Blood thinners. They're supposed to help prevent blood clots," I told her easily.

"Does it make her sick? She doesn't do well with medication, or needles," she said worriedly.

I was struck again by how well they knew her. "No. She normally takes them as pills, but she needs to take them every twelve hours. She's been on them for almost a month now, since we found out."

"She married you," the pregnant human stated, though it was in all of their minds. They had a hard time believing she would have been able to do it, her love for Jacob had destroyed her when he died.

"Yes. It was just a couple weeks ago," I told them, watching my wife's sleeping face longingly. I wanted to slide onto the old couch with her and hold her, it felt so wrong to see her sleeping not in my arms.

"Do you love her?"

"More than anything in the world," I answered immediately.

"Then why didn't you make her into one of you?" The wolves around her froze at the idea of me changing her, but they couldn't help wondering the same.

"Because she doesn't want me to," I said painfully. She nodded, and it was only seconds before they all understood.

The memory of her protecting me from them, only two hours ago flashed through Leah's mind. _Yes, she obviously cares for him. She'll always love Jacob, there's no way she could become a leech after what they did to Charlie and him. Maybe she only married him because she knew she was dying, she would do anything to make someone she cared about happy…_

I stiffened again, not even breathing as her words floated through my mind. She hadn't wanted to at first because she thought I was proposing out of guilt. Did she agree because of her own guilt?

Did she really want to marry me? Or was she just trying to make me happy?

She was always trying to make me happy.

But I knew for certain that she loved me, she showed me every minute, every day. She wouldn't even take off her ring in facing her old family, and it would have been much easier to deal with them if I hadn't been here with her.

Even with the late hour, the wolves didn't sleep. Two of them had left to resume their patrols, but the others sat around, forcing their eyes to stay open as they waited for Isabella to wake up. The pregnant one had fallen asleep in the arms of her mate though, and I noticed the sounds of someone sleeping in a back room. The absence of two of the wolves provided me with space to sit on the floor by her head, and I smiled softly as Isabella's eyebrows furrowed as she reached out in her sleep, her face relaxing quickly when I took her hand gently.

The wolves didn't say anything out loud, but they couldn't disguise their unease in their minds. They all watched the two of us worriedly, but I couldn't bring myself to look away from her.

My heart leapt when she started to stir around five in the morning. Leah was the only other one still awake, sitting beside me on the floor begrudgingly. She smelt just as bad to me as I did to her, but neither of us said anything. Aloud. It was worth it to be close to her. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she looked around at her surroundings in confusion. When she saw Leah, her eyes shot open, and I held her down gently before she could sit up too quickly.

"Shh, slowly," I told her in a gentle voice. She looked at me, her worry clear in her eyes, but I gave her a reassuring smile before I helped her slowly sit up. The wolf took the seat next to her before I could.

"Belle, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay Leah, I'm sorry for hitting you with my shield, but I couldn't-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's nice knowing you can hit someone without breaking your hand," she told her in a teasing voice. Her head knowingly swerved around to look at me, worried again about me finding out about that. I gave her another small smile, her heart was beating too fast, trying to absorb so much so shortly after waking up.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I-"

"It's okay, I know why," I told her gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," she told me easily, but I knew she wouldn't say anything other than that surrounded by so many people. The others were starting to wake up as they talked. The two girls looked at each other again for a long minute, before hugging each other tightly.

"I missed you so much," Leah told her.

"I missed you too Leah."

Isabella was then crowded by the room, and I backed out of the way as they all converged on her, hugging her all at once. Isabella started to shake, closing her eyes tightly to fight her tears, but she couldn't stop a few of them from escaping. They held her like that for a long time, reveling in the fact that she was actually here, the sister they thought they lost. She would be lost soon though, they all understood that this would be the last time any of them would get to see her.

I stood back, watching and waiting patiently until they let her go.

"There's something I need to tell you guys. I'm so sorry for just barging back into your lives like this, but I had to… I-" She took in a trembling breath, but Leah pulled her into her arms.

"He already told us Belle, it's okay. We understand, and we're just glad that you came."

Isabella looked at me in shock, but the anger I had been expecting didn't come. "I'm sorry," she said instead. I knew she was talking to me, but the she-wolf holding her thought the words were directed to her.

"It's okay. No matter what, you will always be a part of our family. That never changed, and we never stopped loving you." Isabella held her a little more tightly as she closed her eyes. When Leah let her go, she moved aside so the pregnant woman could sit next to her, and Isabella's eyes went wide.

"Emily! You're huge!" She exclaimed, her smile seemed to brighten the entire room as the pack relaxed from seeing it.

"Don't I know it," she said wistfully, rubbing her hand over her stomach. "Eight months, though it feels like years."

No one else saw the painful twinge in Isabella's eyes, she hid it too quickly. "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you two. You're going to make such an amazing mother," she said, her smile glowing. The two women hugged each other tightly.

"I got your note, Angela came by when she got your letter. What happened, you said there was an accident? Why didn't you call us to come get you?"

Her eyes flicked over to me again worriedly, but I gave her an encouraging nod. I didn't want her to feel like she needed to protect me, I understood this part of her well.

"I was on the other side of the continent first off," she said, trying to force some humor into her tone. It didn't work. "I was looking for a hotel for the night, it was really late, and a car swerved in front of my truck. My tire caught on the edge of the road and flipped." She smiled sadly at me. "Edward's sister had been close, and she got me to the hospital before I bled out." Her hand went over her flat stomach sadly. "They told me that I had a giant triangle of glass protruding from my stomach when she brought me in. It killed my baby, and damaged a lot of my muscles and organs. I broke a lot of things. It was almost six months before I was released from the hospital." She looked at Emily pleadingly. "I couldn't come back here, I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't think it was safe to contact you. It was there that I met the Cullens, and I was worried of what would happen if they knew that I knew what they were. I couldn't take the chance of something happening to you, and then... Then I was just afraid I'd hurt you too. I'm so sorry, I just didn't know what else to do."

Both women were crying, Emily telling her how sorry she was that she had to go through that alone, but that she understood, and didn't hold it against her. Isabella jumped back from her suddenly, but I saw in Emily's mind when she felt the baby move. She smiled brightly at her, and Emily took her hand to place it on her stomach. They both laughed.

"He's probably getting hungry," she said, standing up as she stretched her stiff back. Isabella jumped to her feet when Emily started walking to the kitchen.

"You shouldn't be on your feet Emily," she said, rushing to her side. The woman smiled with a bit of a laugh.

"You know how useless these wolves are in the kitchen," she said in an amused tone. Her husband slumped his head in guilt. I thought it was just, with her size she really shouldn't be on her feet. Isabella's laugh rang through the house, and she guided Emily back to the couch.

"But I'm not. The usual?"

"Yeah, the others should be back soon," she said. I was surprised by how easily she gave up the task. We had just gotten here, Isabella just woke up from her collapse, and they were letting her cook for all of them? The woman seemed to catch onto my mood. "Have you ever tried arguing with Belle? It's completely useless. When she decides to do something, no one can change her mind. This is better than pissing her off, especially this early in the day," she said knowingly.

"Damn straight," Isabella said easily, walking around the kitchen with obvious familiarity. How many times had she cooked here? She started pulling pans, bowls, utensils and other things out of the fridge and cupboards. I watched as she dashed around with a happy smile, baking giant muffins, cooking enough bacon for an army, and dicing up vegetables and whisking them into a giant bowl of eggs. She pulled out plates, cutlery, glasses, and put everything into giant bowls just as the other two wolves ran back inside.

"I knew I could smell Isabella's cooking," one of the large men said, dashing over to the kitchen. She smacked his hand with a wooden spoon as she reached for the pile of muffins.

"Let Emily make her plate first Paul," she said with a smirk, and he smiled at her before lifting her up into a hug.

No wonder she had never been nervous around us before, she was very comfortable bossing around these giant men that were three times her size. Most of them were bigger than Emmett. Emily got up, kissing Isabella's cheek and thanking her with a knowing smile as she loaded up her plate. I leaned to look over into their hallway curiously when I heard someone come out of the back room.

The child looked about five, and had the same black hair and rich, warm skin as the rest of the tribe. Isabella froze when she saw her, her hands covering her mouth.

The girl looked at her in confusion, but after a minute a blurry memory passed through her head.

"_Did you make this?" Isabella asked excitedly, smiling as she pulled her into her lap. She was looking at the card with loving eyes. I recognized it, she still had the card hanging on the board above her desk. "I love it Claire, thank you so much."_

"_Auntie Izzy, what happened to your hand?"_

_She smiled conspiritively at her. "A boy was being mean to me, so I punched him in the face."_

She could never forget the sparkle in her eyes, or the brightness of her smile.

"Aunt Izzy?"

"Oh, Claire, you've gotten so big," Isabella said with a bright smile, tears streaming out of her eyes.

"Aunt Izzy!" The girl shouted, her joy dazzling as she ran across the room and jumped into Isabella's arms. Isabella held her tightly, shaking with her tears.

This stress wasn't good for her, I hated seeing her cry even though I knew they were happy tears. I wanted to take her home. I wanted to kiss her, and hold her in my arms. But I didn't dare do that in present company. Isabella made herself a plate after Emily did, then walked straight over to me. She took my hand, and pulled me to sit next to her on the couch. I took her bottle of pills out of my pocket, and handed her two. She swallowed them quickly.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly.

"I'm fine," I told her, trying to be as convincing as possible. I could tell she didn't believe it though. "Don't worry about me Isabella, please. I just want you to have this."

"Thank you," she said. She looked like she was going to lean in and kiss me for a moment, but stopped herself when she felt the room watching us.

"Who's _he_?" The child asked as she walked up to me with a scowl.

"Claire, this is my husband, Edward."

"I thought Uncle Jake was your husband," she said, still looking at me accusingly. She did not like me sitting so close to her aunt, and she definitely didn't trust me.

"Uncle Jake is gone," Isabella said in a painful whisper.

"So were you," she said.

_Oh no, another tantrum_, Emily thought, putting down her plate and walking over to the girl. "Claire, what you're saying is very hurtful. Uncle Jacob is dead, and Aunt Belle deserves to be happy," she said in a stern voice.

"Sorry," she said, looking down at her feet.

"It's okay sweetie," Isabella said quietly. She started to slowly pick at her breakfast.

"You're cooking is still amazing," Seth said, shoveling food into his mouth. His words made her smile.

"Thanks Seth," she said quietly.

It seemed that she really enjoyed cooking for them, smiling as she watched them inhale her food. This was something she couldn't do anymore, always surrounded by a bunch of vampires.

I felt so out of place here, sitting in Isabella's past, surrounded by all these people who knew her and loved her.

A pit started to settle in my stomach, seeing her love for them easily in her eyes. What if she didn't want to come home?

"How long are you staying?" Leah asked her.

"Just for today." Leah went to argue, but was cut off by Isabella's apology. "I'm sorry, it's just… I have these constant migraines from the tumour, and it makes it painful to be away from home for too long." She looked at her apologetically, and Leah fought back the tears fighting to escape her eyes.

"No, it's okay. We understand."

"I just… I had to tell you what happened, and apologize. I'm so sorry, I-" Her words caught into her throat, and the sound was so painful that I couldn't stay away any longer. I wrapped my arms around her, and sighed in relief when she leaned into me.

As they watched me, I felt their minds shift. Even though I was a vampire, their sister loved me… and they wanted her to be happy. They thought she was in safe hands, married to a doctor. I could take care of her best.

She needed me, and they couldn't hold that against either of us.

"It's okay Isabella. We were never angry with you, only worried. You don't need to apologize for anything."

She swiped at her tears furiously, the friction turning her cheeks a bright red. "I want to see Billy while I'm here though, how is he doing?"

I froze when I heard it in their minds. "No, please don't tell her that, she'll-"

"We don't lie in our family," Leah said, looking at me seriously, but speaking too quietly for Isabella to hear also. "Belle… Billy passed away last summer."

She stiffened, sitting up straight as she pulled away from me. She watched her for a long time before she could speak. "What happened?"

"He had a stroke. It was very quick, he didn't suffer." She closed her eyes tightly, trembling next to me while she nodded. "I can still take you to see him if you want, he's on the beach, right next to Jacob." She flinched, but agreed quickly.

"I'm so sorry to ask this, but will you be okay here for a little while?"

I knew this was something that she needed to do without me, and I had to give it to her no matter how much it hurt. "Of course." I smiled at her gently. "Want me to grab your suitcase so you can get changed?"

"Thank you," she whispered with a worried look. Everyone in the room watched me as I walked out to the truck at a human pace. The child didn't know about their secret. Isabella got changed, throwing on a clean pair of jeans and plain black cotton shirt, and gave me a hug before leaving with Leah and Emily.

"She'll be fine, Leah has always been very protective of her," Sam said, catching my worried glances at the door. I didn't really know what to say, and just nodded. _Can you really hear my thoughts?_

"Yes," I told him. I couldn't bring myself to lie to someone Isabella loved so much. The years hadn't diminished her love for them, her family. That… that made them my family too.

_Belle… she's always put on a brave mask, not only because she needs to protect the people she loves, but because it's what she has always had to do to survive. You must know that. If she had agreed to marry you, she must really love you. That means more than it usually does when it's from someone like Belle._

"Yes, I know. She kept her knowledge of our identity from us for an entire year, and even then, it was because our act had fallen apart, not hers. She's good at hiding, but I'm confident in saying that I know her well. She's my entire life."

_Then, how is she doing, really? How was she? That baby… it was the only thing keeping her alive. What was her life like? Was she happy?_

His questions were almost desperate, and I saw that for the last three years he had lived not only with his own fear for her, but shared in the minds of his five pack members. They hadn't only lost their brother and leader, but his mate, their sister and friend. He felt like he had failed his dead brother in protecting her. He couldn't force her to stay though, not in the place she had lost her father and mate.

"She's terrified, but she won't show it. Not so much for herself, she's accepted it, but she's afraid of the pain it will cause the people she loves. I had to bring her here, I need to do everything I can to make sure she's happy. It's all I have left."

_And before?_

It was a strange sort of relief, talking about something real with someone who wasn't a part of my family. He deserved to know, he loved her too. "It was horrible. She was out for a few weeks, but when she did wake up… she was screaming, refusing to let anyone touch her at first, and then… she just shut down. She didn't acknowledge anyone, except for when Carlisle tried to put her back on the morphine drip. For weeks, she didn't eat, sleep, drink or talk. She just stared out the window."

"What changed then?"

"It was slow. My sister… well, it's kind of long to explain. When she saved Isabella, it was because she had a vision of her." I quickly explained his questioning thoughts. "She can see the future."

"Seriously?" His eyes went wide.

"Yes, though her visions with Isabella were different. Her shield, like I said, affects my kind's gifts. She couldn't see her very well at first, but she already knew she loved her. It was because of her that we stayed, because Alice wouldn't leave her. She waited patiently every day by her side that she was in the hospital. Isabella completely ignored her for weeks, until something changed. One day, she looked at her, and spoke. Alice had been watching her things for her, and she wanted something."

"What?"

"We didn't know what it was at first, just a black tin tied in fabric. It wasn't for a couple years that I found out it was where she had kept Jacob's ashes, and her pictures of him. After that, we saw little changes. She would try to pay attention to Alice when she visited her, though it was obviously difficult. She hadn't slept more than a few minutes at a time for an entire month, still couldn't eat or talk. But she watched. Until Alice brought my mother to see her. She has a talent, for loving people. It's immediate when you meet her, she loves everyone that she meets, and it's impossible not to feel it, and not to love her back. It was different with Isabella though. Esme had lost a child too, just before she was changed. He was two days old, and when he died, she threw herself off a cliff. Carlisle changed her when they brought her directly to the morgue. She knew the pain Isabella was in too well, and it was with her that Isabella finally opened up.

"You know how Isabella tries so hard to please the people that she likes. I'm not ashamed in saying that we used her feelings for Esme to guilt her into eating again." He smiled, nodding while thinking it was a smart move. "It was still slow, but she started drinking a little, forcing herself to eat a few bites of the meals Esme kept bringing her. She still refused to take any medication though, and her insomnia was keeping her sick and preventing her body from healing. So one day, they brought my brother in to see her."

"Let me guess, you all have some sort of super power?" I nodded with a bit of a smile. He caught on almost as quickly as Isabella, saying it just like she did also. "What was his?"

"He can affect other people's emotions."

"Why didn't you just bring him in in the first place?" He asked angrily.

"That's what he said, but his mate, my sister Alice, was afraid to bring him there. She was hoping to help her without his assistance, because a hospital is a painful environment for an empath to be in. He doesn't just affect their emotions, he feels them just as much as they do. But he met her, and within minutes of taking away her pain, she fell asleep. She slept solidly for an entire day. That was what changed things. She wouldn't let Jasper help her anymore after that, not wanting him to live through her pain with her. But that one day of sleep changed everything. She started thinking more clearly, and I later found out that she wasn't going to let herself die, because she didn't want Charlie and Jacob's deaths to be in vain. Eventually she even let us give her pain medication so that she could sleep. She started forcing herself to eat more, she talked to us when we visited her. She started healing. Once she started her rehabilitation she poured everything inside of her into that training. She pushed herself past her breaking points, never once complaining or giving up. She excelled, and was released. Alice asked her to stay, and she did. She got a job at a Library, bought a house. She never stopped moving, she couldn't stand being unoccupied. She couldn't stand being inside her own mind, so she buried herself in hobbies. She completely tore apart her house and rebuilt it, same with her yard. She has an amazing talent for it really, a talent she shares with my mother. She had her work too, hiking and kayaking by herself, working on her truck, she bought a gun and spent a lot of timing with it on the firing ranges. She's an amazing shot. She started getting a little better when she started doing yoga, it really seemed to calm her, though she was very prone to anxiety attacks on days where she didn't get to do it. But she just kept going. She's the strongest person I've ever met."

I heard his agreement with me in his mind. He had seen through Jacob how she had managed to push through her life before Forks. Her mother's death, her abusive father, pushing through her foster homes and her time at the orphanage. He remembered what she had been like at first. Careful, timid. She wore a strong, calm mask, but she had been terrified. The way she would flinch away from people if they touched her, the sound of her heart rate picking up while she tensed if someone approached her. Her fear and constant apologies when she worried that she might have upset someone.

But it changed with Jacob. They were drawn to each other like gravity, and she let him in. She fell in love. She was so, so much in love. The pictures of them flashed through his mind, the way they always had to be touching each other, how they always started into each other's' eyes with adoring smiles no matter where they were. Jacob's actual memories, ones that he couldn't keep hidden from their bond. The feeling of her kissing him, touching him, the feeling of her skin as his hands slid over her body-

"Please, stop," I pleaded desperately, cringing my eyes painfully at the image.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't-" _spider man, spider man, does whatever a spider can- Damn I still have to take care of that wasps nest, Emily is going to flip if she still sees it there. I should probably pick up more ice cream too, just to be on the safe side…_

I laughed, relaxing slightly while also getting the annoying theme song stuck in my head. "Where's the nest? I can take care of it for you."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, wasps aren't too big on stinging vampires. Doesn't really work." I tapped my arm with my fist, and he grinned slightly at the odd, hard sound it made.

"Thanks man, it's just on the back of the house. I'll bring you around."

It was a pretty big nest, and I smiled at his reluctance to get close to it. He knew he would heal in a second, but hated the feeling. "What do you want me to do with it?"

"Oh, just a sec." He ran back inside, and came out with a large white pail with a lid.

"Perfect." I took the container, and in a movement no long than two seconds, I jumped up, knocking the football sized nest into the bucket, and snapping the lid shut before a single one could escape. I set it down on the ground, and made sure the lid was secure. "You might want to make sure no one opens that, it wouldn't be pretty. That many wasps could really hurt someone and it will take a few days for the lack of oxygen to kill them."

"Thanks Doctor Masen," he said with a genuine smile. "I'm eternally grateful."

"Please, just call me Edward."

He got a roll of duct tape from inside, and secured the lid thoroughly before leading me back in. He gestured for me to have a seat, and sat down too before turning on the small television in the room. I was thankful that he concentrated so hard on the football game, not letting his thoughts wander too much.

We both listened carefully as the women walked back, and I shut my eyes painfully at the image of Isabella on her knees in the sand, crying in front of the two piles of stones set to mark the places where their ashes had been laid to rest. She opened up the truck, and handed the small black duffel bag to Emily.

"This was to help take care of Billy," she whispered, closing Emily's hand around the handle of the bag. "Use it to take care of the pack, please." She went to open it curiously, but Isabella stopped her. "Look at it later, I don't want to argue with you," she said in a tone that left no room for questioning.

"Thank you," she whispered.

They wanted to ask her to stay, to beg her to stay, but they knew that she would if they did, and they could see how much she was suffering. It was like time had stood still for her here, and they needed to let her go just like before.

I put her bags back in the truck, but she waited until the pack came back to say good bye. She trembled as she hugged each one of them tightly, her breath catching in her throat constantly, but she didn't cry. I gave her a gentle hand into the truck when she came over to it.

"I love every single one of you, and I always will," she said with a staggering strength, her pain leaking out in her voice.

"And we will always love you," Leah said, tears streaming out of her eyes while she held Emily.

_Take care of her Edward_, Sam thought.

"I will," I told him seriously, stepping up into the truck. I froze when I started it up.

_As Alpha of the pack I am making you a deal. If she changes her mind, if she gives you permission, our treaty will still remain intact if you change her_. I stared at him for a long moment, and he gave me a confirming nod. _If anyone deserves a second chance at life, a chance to be happy, it's her._

I nodded back to him once, and then pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as I drove, and she just blankly stared out the window. She asked me to pull over when we passed the cemetery in Forks. I held her hand as she slowly led me over to her Father's grave. She took a small, round, white rock out of her pocket, and rested it against his headstone. I stood with her silently as she stared at it for twenty minutes, unmoving, and then turned to walk back to the truck.

As soon as we passed the sign leaving Forks, she broke. She crumpled in on herself, choking on her sobs as the tears streamed out of her eyes. As soon as I undid her seat belt, she slid into my side, gripping onto my shirt tightly as she cried. I couldn't stop driving, because she wanted to leave, so I wrapped my arm around her and held her while I drove back to the hotel we had stayed at in Seattle. I got a room quickly, the receptionist watched my wife worriedly as she clung to my side, silently crying, but said nothing. She couldn't swallow down her pills, and actually asked me to give her an injection instead while forcing herself to choke down a bottle of juice.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" I asked her. I couldn't see how taking her away from them was going to help her as I watched her drown. She still clung desperately to my shirt as I lay next to her on the bed, my arms wrapped tightly around her. She couldn't speak, and just nodded against me. I just kept holding her tightly in the dark silence of our room, until she cried herself to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Can you take the four-o'-five?" she asked me quietly. I nodded quickly, signalling for the turn-off without question. I noticed the sign quickly when we came off the highway into Newcastle.

"Is this why you came out into Newcastle in New Brunswick? Because of the name?"

She nodded before telling me the name of the next street to take. I pulled over in front of another cemetery.

She led me over to the gate. It was locked, but the chain was loose and she easily slid through it. She paused to watch me for a moment, and frowned before coming back out. I wasn't nearly as small as her, and it felt like a sin to damage the gate of a cemetery. She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, and easily picked the lock on the gate before opening it. She smiled as I watched her curiously.

"I've been picking that lock for twelve years," she said with a small smile, reaching out to take my hand. Another little mystery solved. She led me to the back corner of the lot, completely ignoring her father's headstone as she knelt down in front of her mother's. She pulled another small, white stone out of her pocket, and I noticed that there were all sorts of tiny stones ringing around the head stone. She immediately started straightening them, then polished the dirt and dried water off of the front of the black granite with her sleeve until it shined.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet my Mom," she said with a smile. "Mom, this is my husband, Edward." She stood up and leaned against my arm. It was strange, she actually seemed… happy, talking to her mother like this.

But she had done this for most of her life, it must feel normal for her.

"She would have loved you," she told me happily. I waited for her to cry as she watched the stone silently. But she didn't. I had the feeling that she was talking to her in her mind, though I obviously couldn't hear anything.

Until I did, but it wasn't Isabella.

_Thank you._

I looked around quickly, but the breath of a thought seemed to come from nothing. There was no one here.

"Let's go home," she said quietly, and I looked around the cemetery one last time as we walked back to the truck.

**Thanks for reading!**


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine: Frustrations

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Twenty-Nine :: Frustrations**

**Isabella**

As soon as I saw that sign, it broke. It was everything that had kept me going for so long, hard earned from eight years of learning to live with my father. If I could just shut it down, show nothing hard enough, then sometimes I could convince myself that I didn't feel it. That mask broke when I read those words; "Now leaving Forks." I knew I would never be coming back. I'd said my goodbye, and my apology. And they still said they loved me.

And three more goodbyes. Billy, who I hadn't even been with before he passed. The last time I had spoken to him, I'd been pregnant, giving him the keys to Charlie's house, and yelling at him as he tried to wish me happiness with love. They'd done a similar monument for Jacob next to his with some of his ashes, just on the edge of the forest on the beach, and two strong trees had been planted to grow from their ashes. Leah and Emily both held me tightly as I cried, it was more than saying goodbye two the two of them, it was saying goodbye to that whole part of my life, the family and home I'd almost had. We'd walked along the beach for a while after that, the cool familiar air both soothing and excruciating, and I picked up four pretty rocks I'd found washed up on shore. I didn't let myself cry again as I placed one by each of their trees, and said goodbye to each one of my brothers and sisters. We all knew it was for the last time.

Emily would do good things with that money. Keeping the pack clothed and fed was an expensive ordeal, and it could help some of them with their schooling.

We passed by Forks Cemetery on the way out of town, and stopped so I could visit Charlie. Edward stood silently by my side, a gentle hand on my back after I placed a white stone against his headstone, and just watched him for a moment.

_Charles Alexander Swan_  
_1957-2005_  
_Beloved Friend, Father, and Protector_

It wasn't enough. He was so much more than that. Loving, Compassionate, Patient, Loyal… He brought me into his home, made me his daughter, loved me, and died trying to protect me all in nine short months. Such a short piece of time, but it was everything, an entire lifetime.

I came into this town and destroyed everything that I touched. I had said goodbye now, and would never hurt these people again.

I would only hurt my new family, and then I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone again. No one else will die because of me.

I just lost all control of it when I saw that sign, and that all clicked instantly in my mind. The suffocating pain crashed through my walls, and I had no chance of putting it back together. I couldn't breathe, and chocked painfully on each breath that my lungs were so desperately gasping for. I couldn't see through my tears, and curled in on myself as I tried to stop my body from crumbling apart.

And then I felt Edward's strong arm wrap around me, and pull my across the bench of the truck as he tucked me into his side and held me there tightly. I clutched onto his shirt desperately as I cried against him, and felt the truck pull over onto the side of the road.

"Isabella, are you sure this is what you want? I don't-"

"I w-want t-to get out of h-here," I begged between painful sobs, clutching onto him tighter. His arm tightened around me, and he quickly pulled back onto the road as his large hand rubbed up and down my arm.

Oh god, Edward. He was sitting here, holding me calmly while I grossly bawled my eyes out and soaked his shirt. He came with me, and within minutes of seeing the pack I collapsed, and he'd spent the entire night surrounded with them and dealing with them alone while he took care of me. Then I left him alone with Sam while I… Oh god, what sort of things must he have seen? All that time with them, while he pretty much explained to them that I was dying and came to say goodbye and apologize to them, and now this… I couldn't let go of him though, and clung to him in an almost desperate daze. He pulled over and bought me some juice at seven, but I kept choking on the liquid because I couldn't breathe. Edward watched as I choked on pills again and again with a tortured expression. I could still feel the sting in my arm from where he'd given me a needle while I was out, and asked him to give it to me again after asking if he had anymore. The rest of the drive was a blur, getting to Seattle, checking into a hotel, and being pulled into bed by Edward before falling into a dreamless sleep.

. . . . . . . . . .

I didn't deserve to touch him, not after what I put him through. He kept assuring me that he was fine but… I knew he wouldn't say otherwise either way. He was too set on just trying to make me happy. I haven't been able to bring myself to touch him since I woke up, and I'm sure from the look he had had on his face when I said goodbye to Mom that he thinks I've lost it. I sat the rest of the day in the truck forcing myself to breath as I watched the clock on the dash tick away the entire day. I was completely exhausted, but I just couldn't silence my guilt enough to be able to fall asleep.

I ate though. I was relieved too, there were bruises spreading on the inside of my elbow and I didn't want any more needles.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop at a hotel?"

"I'm fine sleeping in the truck," I said, forcing myself to smile. "Unless you want to take a break from driving," I said quickly. It wasn't fair for me to ask him to drive through the night.

"No, I'm fine," he said quietly, looking back to the dark road. I nodded sadly, and looked back out the window at the dark forests flying past us.

God, I wanted to kiss him so badly. I felt like I was suffocating, I needed to feel his electricity like I needed oxygen to survive.

I jumped slightly from the loud sound of the spraying gravel as he pulled over onto the shoulder quickly, and I looked over at him nervously as he put the truck in park.

"No, I'm not okay. I hate watching you torture yourself like this. I need you to believe me when I say that I'm not upset with you Isabella." He undid his seat belt, shutting off the truck to stop its beeping before turning and sliding towards me. "I won't lie to you, I saw things that I would have been happier not seeing, but I don't regret coming with you."

I cringed. I knew it. I couldn't believe him though, if I had ever seen him… I couldn't even think it, it was too painful.

My eyes flew open when he kissed me, and my body started trembling with my desire for him. He quickly brushed away the tears from my cheeks, his lips becoming more urgent, rougher against mine. My hands were shaking as I reached out to him, gripping onto his shirt tightly. He pulled me onto his lap, pulling my shirt over my head quickly before his lips met mine again. They were rough as they traveled down my throat, and his talented fingers easily unsnapped my bra. I almost flinched away when the lights of a car passed by but his hands pulled me against him as he rolled his cold tongue around one of my nipples, and I couldn't think of anything else.

"Have you ever wanted to be with someone else while you were with me?" He growled, undoing the button on my jeans and sliding them down.

"No," I whispered, almost whimpering as he got impatient and ripped the denim to shreds.

"Has anyone ever made you feel as good as I make you feel?" His thumb pushed up against my clit as his teeth grazed against my neck, and I gasped as he quickly pushed two of his large fingers inside of me.

"Never," I gasped, leaning my forehead against his, gripping tightly onto his shoulders.

"That's all that matters to me," he whispered tenderly, and I kissed him urgently as my fingers fumbled with his pants, he easily helped my shaking hands, his lips hungry against mine as he guided me down on him. He was gentle, slow as he guided my hips, but didn't stop me as I sped up the movements, rotating my hips around him when he was deep inside of me. The faster I moved, the tighter his hands became on me, and I wanted more of it.

"Harder," I pleaded, my hands gripping tightly into his hair. His chest vibrated against mine as his movements sped up, and he started bringing my hips down on his with more force. "Oh god, yes," I flinched, when his thumb rubbed over my clit again, quickly pushing me over the edge. Edward's movements sped up even more, and he came a minute later.

He shifted me on his lap, sitting me across his legs as he held me and covered my neck and shoulders in gentle kisses. I drifted off quickly in his arms as I finally felt my body relax.

. . . . . . . . . .

I woke up when I felt the truck come to a stop, and looked up to Edward smiling down at me. My head was resting in his lap.

"Hey," he said, brushing my hair away from my face very gently.

"Where are we?" I whispered, sitting up slowly and squinting in the pale light.

"Gas station. I just need to fill up, won't take long." He leaned in and kissed me softly before sliding out of the truck. I felt really disoriented, still half asleep, and slid out of the car robotically to go use the washroom. I froze when I looked down at myself, I was wearing a pair of comfy cotton shorts, and one of Edward's black t-shirts.

Last night flooded back to me, and I ran back around the truck, pulling Edward's face down to mine quickly as I kissed him. He grinned against my lips.

"I love you more than anything," I whispered, looking up at his beautiful face. He was still grinning down at me.

"As I love you," he said easily, kissing my cheek sweetly. I blushed from the tenderness of that little kiss, and smiled before I turned around to head back towards the washroom again. I squeaked loudly when he smacked my butt playfully, and grinned mischievously at me as I hurried inside with burning cheeks.

. . . . . . . . . .

I had missed the summer so much, even if Edward had done an excellent job of distracting me from remembering how much I had missed it. Life was almost frighteningly perfect when we got home, and I felt as though I was living in a dream most of the time. It had only taken Edward, Esme and Emmett two days to do all of the stone work, and Alice had been more than happy to keep me company while they worked. After they had finished, Edward ordered a big pile of dirt for me and helped me rip out the grass and weeds and fill all of my new flowers beds. And now on the nice days, I'd sit out in the sun and plant flowers, taking the time to enjoy the task unlike I had done in my last house, while Edward sat on the porch and read. It took a couple weeks to plant everything, and as promised I let Alice help and I'm sure she hated it, but it looked amazing once we finished. The two gardens closest to the house I used for my fruit bushes and some vegetables, but all the others were different types of flowers. I loved walking around the yard and just enjoying them, and my husband always seemed happy to hold my hand and join me.

"Edward, you need to go hunt," I told him worriedly. He had barely left my sight since our wedding, and I hated seeing his black eyes and knowing that he was suffering. "You know that I'll be fine on my own for a few hours."

"I know, I just hate being away from you," he told me honestly. I smiled gently at him.

"The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back." He watched me for a long minute in silence, before leaning forward and kissing me. He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Call me if anything happens?"

I got up and grabbed my phone from where it was charging on my nightstand, showing him and putting it in my pocket purposely. "Of course."

He was by the back door in the blink of an eye, but stopped and looked at me again as his hand hesitated on the doorknob. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said, not letting him see how much I really didn't want to let him go. We never said goodbye, and never would. He opened the door and walked out at a human pace before closing it, and I felt him disappear from my mind.

And then there was silence. Not just in my ears, but in my mind as well.

It felt so empty.

Is this what it would be like when I died? Floating around in emptiness, yearning for the feel of his presence? Would I be able to follow him and watch over him from the other side, or watch from far away, never being able to go near to what my soul so desperately needed? Maybe I would be born again, and he could find me once more.

Or what if this was it, and as soon as my heart stopped beating there wouldn't be anything? I'd just turn into nothing and leave the world like it was before I came into it, like I never existed.

The thought was overwhelming, suffocating. I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't cry either. Strange, I felt so close to the edge of tears so often now.

When I was with Edward, I felt human enough to cry. I didn't have to hide from him. It was harder not hiding from myself though. The numbing cover I had protected myself with for so long felt foreign on me now.

I felt… cold. I stood in my bedroom for a long time, staring into nothing, before I dragged myself over to the shower, turned on the water as hot as it would go, and just tried to feel the warmth. I had the sense to at least take off my clothes, but didn't really feel myself doing it. My skin turned red under the fall of water.

Nothing. I felt like I was dead already, and that though froze me with an overpowering wave of fear. I leaned against the wall of the shower, bowing under the weight of it. I desperately, painfully did not want to die. I wanted to live, to stay with Edward for all of time.

And the worst part was that I could. I actually had the choice to become Immortal, to stay by his side forever.

Why couldn't I just do it? All I would have to do is say the words, and he would do it. If I meant it, I know in completely certainty that he would do it. He wouldn't hesitate. I wanted it so badly, so why couldn't I just say it? What was wrong with me? I couldn't breathe, I wasn't sure if I even had lungs anymore. I choked on the absence of air, my throat constricting painfully as my body went limp. The last thing I saw before the blackness was the dark green and grey tiles of the wall of the shower as they sped towards my face.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Isabella, love, wake up. _Please_." His voice sounded far away, being drowned out by the painful throbbing in my head. I clutched at the nausea in my stomach.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I whispered, and felt the small plastic garbage can being put into my hands before I leaned forward and vomited. Burning tears were streaming down my face, my head throbbing even harder from the violent heaving.

"Thank god you're here," I heard Edward's voice say. "She just came too, I'm sure she has a concussion. Did you bring everything?"

"Right here," I heard Carlisle's voice. There was nothing left in my stomach anymore, and I trembled painfully.

"Isabella, can you hear me?"

"Yes," I hissed quietly, my throat throbbing now too.

"You fell in the shower love, and you lost a lot of blood. I have to give you a transfusion, okay?"

" 'Kay," I whispered.

"You're going to feel a pinch in your elbow," I felt his cool fingers on my arm, an elastic being tied around my upper arm and the familiar pinch on the inside of my elbow.

"Edward, are you-"

"I'm in complete control Carlisle," he said in a dead voice. I felt him rest a cool hand on my forehead, very gently, and it soothed some of the ache. I clutched at his wrist feebly, tears still streaming out of the eyes I couldn't seem to open.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I-"

"Shh, it's okay," he said in a much gentler tone, and I felt his lips on my cheek. "You're going to be just fine Isabella. Thank you again Carlisle, so much. I couldn't take her to the Hospital, it would have been too hard for her to recover there."

"Of course Edward. Would you like me to stay with you two for a while?"

"Do you mind Isabella?" He asked gently.

"I don't mind," I whispered. I could barely get the words out, I couldn't believe what was happening. How could I have let myself become like this? To unravel so completely within an hour of him leaving me. It was so… weak. I could never let him know, he would never leave my side again. He had enough difficulty leaving me to go hunting as it was already. I was thankful that he had already provided me with the excuse of slipping in the shower.

And if he didn't want to let me shower alone, well… that was something I could live with. My laugh came out as more of a cough, making me wince. God, I was messed up. I felt Edward lie down next to me on the bed, and was thankful when he quickly put his cool hand back on my forehead.

He may technically feel cold, but I didn't feel warmth unless he was by my side.

I was too sore to fall back asleep, and after a couple of minutes I was able to open up my eyes. He was smiling down at me, and my mouth mirrored his automatically. I quickly shut my lips though, realizing that my breath must be horrible. I looked over at the bag of blood that was hanging from an IV pole. Carlisle must have brought that over too. He was sitting underneath it on the chair that was usually in the corner of the room, smiling gently at me. Even if I could stand, I doubt Edward would let me walk over to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I also quickly realized that I was naked under the blankets of our bed.

"Do you know how long after I left you fell down?" He asked gently.

"An hour, I think," I told him quietly, trying not to open my mouth too much.

"Would you mind if I shined an annoying little light in your eyes?" He said in a light voice. I smiled, and shook my head slightly. He raised a little pen light out of his pocket, and brought it up to my face at a human pace. He clicked it off after shining it in both of my eyes twice, relaxing back beside me on the bed again, one arm bent up and supporting his head. I already knew I had a concussion, thinking that it was pretty sad that I was so familiar with the sensation, so I just didn't bother saying anything.

Carlisle stayed with us for a couple hours, and I had to take some different pills because of the transfusion. I was relieved that Edward's eyes were still a bright, honey and gold colour. I wasn't worried about him with the blood bag, or my own blood. He had been a doctor before I'd met him, and I knew he was used to this sort of thing. I couldn't imagine that it was comfortable for him though.

"Why are you frowning?" He asked gently, his voice mostly curious but as always had that little undertone of worry.

"I don't like that you have to deal with this medical stuff at home. It bothers me to make you uncomfortable in our own bedroom."

"I'm not uncomfortable," he said casually. "The new blood _is_ making you smell a little different though," he said with a sigh.

"That must be a relief?" I said, pulling up my voice awkwardly on the last words and turning it into a half question.

"No, I _love_ the way you smell," he said, grinning down at me. There was something in his eyes that made me feel like my cheeks should have flushed, and it felt really odd that my face didn't really warm from it.

"How bad do I look?" I asked him grudgingly. I felt like I had gotten hit by a train.

"You look gorgeous," he said easily, and I raised an eyebrow at him. "You have a bit of a cut on your forehead, but it's really not too bad. It was just the combination of being in the water and the blood thinners that made you lose so much blood. No stitches." I saw a glint in his eyes, and realized that he was trying very hard to keep the smile on his face. I reached up, and cupped the side of his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, telling him with my eyes that he didn't have to hide himself from me. He closed his eyes, and seemed to almost shudder under my touch. He leaned into my hand instead of pulling away though.

"It was terrifying, finding you like that. Bleeding and unconscious in the shower."

If I wasn't human, this wouldn't have happened. The thought was so quick through my mind that I felt like it had kicked me.

_Just say it._

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry that I did that to you." Weak… Why are you so afraid? You know you wouldn't trade him for _anyone_. He's the only person you absolutely can't live without.

"It's okay," he said, leaning down and brushing his lips across my cheek lightly.

Why couldn't he just read my mind?

. . . . . . . . . .

The next few days were messed up, for lack of a better word. I couldn't say they were horrible, because I was with Edward, but he had to wake me up constantly, I never felt rested, I was sore and bruised all over from the fall, and I felt nauseous a lot of the time which made it hard to eat. I forced myself though, knowing that this was probably worse for Edward than it was for me.

And for the rest of my family. I wanted to do nothing more than hide away, looking like a horrible blue and purple monster, but the pain in their eyes and voices hurt more. It seemed like there was always someone in the house with the two of us.

And it took so long for them to heal. It was almost three weeks before the blackish blues had faded to pale yellows. I didn't even touch my gardens, and the constant rain that kept them alive also seemed to reflect my inner thoughts closely. Little breaks of bright sunshine, but cloudy and unpredictable, and every once in a while feeling like I would open up like a damn.

My nerves were on end after having near constant, mind blowing sex with my husband, to him being close to terrified of touching me. I came close to exploding a couple times just from him looking at me, and was near to begging for some sort of release.

Today after I woke up though I couldn't find even a hint of the yellow left. I had been so ridiculously careful, never even trying to quicken my pace to more than a walk and wearing nothing but flats and sneakers. Where I had lost all of my black though, it looked like Edward had taken it. I carefully took my shower before bluntly telling him to get out of the house and go hunting.

"I don't want Alice to come babysit me again," I argued. I had been more than patient for the past month and I was close to snapping.

"I just don't want anything to-"

"I can't live like this Edward," I said, forcing my voice to be gentle. "I can't have someone watching me twenty-four hours a day. I know you're only trying to protect me, but you're making me feel like a helpless child." I saw the hurt in his eyes. Not that I had directly hurt him, but that he was hurting realizing he was hurting me. "I will be very careful. I'll blow dry my hair and read a book. I'll wear a damn helmet if you want me to." _Please don't call my bluff, helmet hair is so not going to work for what I have in mind…_

That got a smile out of him, and as I leaned into him, sliding my hands up his muscular arms, I felt him relax. He disappeared for about a second and a half, and handed me my cell phone.

"I'll only be three hours, tops," he said, leaning in and kissing me much too gently.

"I love you," I told him, gripping on to his arms tightly, and praying that I hadn't pushed him too hard.

"I love you too," he said, and smiled at me as he walked out the door at a human pace.

His eyes always froze on me for a few seconds before he left the room, like he was trying to carefully memorize the picture of me for the last time, and it was like a knife through my chest every time.

But I couldn't tell him that.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. _Silence._

I would not let myself crumble this time, I swore. All I had to do was keep breathing. I would not be some weak helpless girl who needed her husband by her side to function properly. The idea of it alone was enough to make me sick. That was not me, I liked my personal space.

Yes, I was good with solitude. It was no longer something I strived for in life, but I could appreciate these little moments. I smiled excitedly, and walked over to the bathroom carefully and started working on my hair. I had felt like there were bombs hidden under my tiles, being so careful for so long. It wasn't my style, but it was a sacrifice that I needed to pay. I spent extra dedicated time to straightening my hair, feeling accomplished when I managed to get it silky and smooth, and deflating it to half of its size of usual poufy chaos. I checked the clock on my nightstand, and sighed when I realized it had taken me an entire hour. Sorry Edward, but I'm going to need to cut my hair. This is just getting ridiculous.

I walked into my closet, going to my secret stash of weapons in an almost concealed drawer in the back of my things. I smiled at my own choice of words. I felt every bit the part of a ticking time bomb, one whom Edward had been handling too carefully and desperately needed to be set off. I flipped through the neatly organized collection of lace and silk, trying to choose.

Dark violet, definitely. I always feel more powerful in purple. I slid on the pair of lace shorts that felt like a second skin on me, then the matching bra that left barely anything to the imagination. I checked myself in the mirror, and was pleased with the effect that the colour had against my pale skin. I had this purple, silk-wrap dress that matched them very well, and tied it in a loose bow, leaving the neck dipping very low, hinting at a tiny bit of the lace underneath. I paused before walking out of the closet, and put on my diamond-heart necklace before walking out.

I sighed when I walked back out of the closet, realizing that it would still be at least another hour before he got back, maybe two. I should have taken more time.

I walked around my house quickly, looking for a distraction, but of course everything was tidy and in its proper place. I ended going up into the attic, deciding that maybe I would read a book. It had been so long since I'd been up here for longer than looking for a pen, and the organized mess that was still on my desk nagged at me. I barely hesitated as I started rearranging some of my books. There was a plain folder sitting on the corner of my desk that I did not remember putting there, and I smiled when I opened it up. Inside were about a dozen driver's licenses for different cities all over the world, all with Edward's pictures on them with variations of his name, and all with different birth dates. There was a little piece of folded paper in with them too.

_Just thought you might think these were funny. Love you –E_

I grinned, taking the note and hiding it in one of the drawers of my desk, before taking the folder and putting it away in his filing cabinet. I knew he wouldn't mind me going in there, we didn't really hide anything from each other.

Well, I guess that wasn't true. I still hadn't been able to bring myself to talk to him about the chaos that my mind had been in lately. I just couldn't talk to him about it yet, because I really hadn't decided and I wouldn't pull at his emotions cruelly like that. I felt like I was close to something, like there was a piece of information I was missing or had misplaced. I had to figure out what my real reason was for holding back before I could let go, because immortality didn't seem so wrong to me anymore.

I put away all of my textbooks on one of my empty shelves, clearing up most of my desk. I had been putting it off, feeling like it would make it too real, but I just didn't want to look at the clutter any more. It surprisingly didn't bother me too much, and I thought it looked much better. Afterwards I started putting away all of the reading materials I had acquired, novels and play studies, and fit them in to proper places with our other books. I found one on Mythological creatures, making me smile, and I decided to bring it outside and read for a while. I needed to keep my mind busy, I couldn't crumble like I had before. I took a glass of lemonade out with me, and lay out on the large, two-person hammock on the back porch.

There were a bunch of little page markers in the book, and I slowly made my way through each marked section curiously. Fairies, Mermaids, Shape-shifters, Werewolves, Witches. I had just started reading the lengthy section on Vampires when I felt that odd brushing against my mind. I looked over to the lake, but didn't see any boats. The surface of the water was rippling in the breeze.

I continued to watch the spot where I could swear I felt someone though, and when it didn't go away after a couple minutes I pulled my phone out of where it was sitting, pinned to my shoulder by my bra strap, and automatically dialed Edward's number. He answered on the first ring. "Hey, is everything alright?" He asked quickly.

"I'm fine," I assured him, "And I'm sorry to call it's just… this is going to sound really weird, but I think there's someone in the lake."

"I'm on my way, but I'll stay on the phone with you," I could hear the wind from his speed blowing hard into his phone. "I should only be two minutes."

"Did I interrupt your dinner?" I asked worriedly. I had no idea what time it was.

"Nope. I am very much full. I was already on my way back actually, I'm just running a different route now." I sighed in relief. "How is your afternoon going?"

"It's going okay, I finally cleaned up my desk. Thanks for leaving that folder out for me by the way. Very cool."

He laughed, and the feeling from the lake shifted a little. My eyes shot back to the spot, and I thought I could see the colour of red rippling below the surface of the water. Realization hit, and not only did I know from the light in my mind that she was a vampire, but that she was _that_ vampire. "I was wondering when you were going to find-"

"It's the vampire woman from the baseball game," I said quietly.

Then the phone line went dead.

"Edward?" Shit. I looked back at the water, and saw her head, only half sticking out of the water as she glared at me. I jumped to my feet, and just as I felt Edward cross onto our property she disappeared. Edward ran straight for the water though, disappearing also as he dived into it in a fast, graceful arc. "No! Damnit." I quickly called Carlisle, who also answered on the first ring. I was very thankful for the family cell phone rule. I didn't give him the chance to even say hello.

"Edward was out hunting, and I felt someone in the lake. It was the red haired vampire from New Brunswick, and he just disappeared into the water after her. I can't feel either of them anymore."

"Stay inside, someone will be there soon," he said quickly, and he disconnected. I sighed, hating the knowledge that there was nothing that I could do. After staring at the spot where Edward had disappeared, leaping and diving into the lake for a long minute, I went inside and leaned against one of the thick wooden pillars in the middle of the room. A minute later I felt Alice, Emmett and Jasper approach, Jasper and Alice heading straight into the lake and Emmett coming into the house. I tightened my dress a little, making myself more presentable for my big brother.

"Are you okay?" He asked, appearing right in front of me.

"I'm fine. She didn't even come out of the water. It was like she was just…. watching me." His face darkened, and I led him back out to the back porch. "Did Alice see anything?"

"She saw when Edward went into the water, and Carlisle called saying you called only seconds later."

"Anything else?"

"She saw her taking one of three paths. There's one of them that Edward catches her, and two that they lose her."

"So now what?"

"Now, we wait," he said. I was surprised to find him not irritated being left out of the chase. Then I realized he was here to _protect me_. I sat down on the back steps, and he quickly joined me. We both sat in silence, watching the water for them to return.

Carlisle joined us about ten minutes later, Rose and Esme another ten after that. Esme sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me as the five of us continued to wait in silence.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was two hours before the three of them came back. I had only left to eat something quickly to take my medication, and quickly went back out with the others with a throw blanket wrapped around my shoulders. They came from the woods, not the water, and I dropped my blanket and shot to my feet as soon as I felt Edward. He had me in his arms in another second.

"Are you okay?" I asked him urgently, as soon as his lips released mine. I inspected him carefully, but aside from being soaking wet he seemed fine.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about the call, I accidentally… crushed my phone when we were talking."

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're alright."

"And thank you for calling Carlisle so quickly," he added quickly.

"Of course," I said, and pulled his face down to mine again. Despite the stress of the situation, he still managed to take a moment to slowly take in my appearance, burning me with his eyes.

"Come on, did you get her?" Emmett asked in a frustrated voice. Edward didn't release me, and Alice spoke.

"No, she got away."

Edward pulled away from my lips, but held me tightly to his side. "She has a gift for self-preservation. I got close enough to her to hear her thoughts for a moment."

"What does she want?" I asked, before anyone else could. He looked down at me silently for a minute before speaking, his anger barely concealed.

"We killed her mate, and best friend. She wants revenge."

I shook my head, finding it hard to believe that a vampire could be that stupid. "She has to know that she doesn't have a chance against seven vampires though, it seems pretty foolish." He continued to watch me, and I saw that he was trying to hide something.

"She's not really thinking clearly," Jasper said. Edward nodded, and I debated calling him out on whatever he was trying to hide but… whatever it was had gotten to him deeply, that I could see easily, and though I wanted to find out what it was so I would be able to comfort him, I think he needed a bit of time. He would tell me when he was ready, he knew he couldn't keep a secret from me. I was just happy that my family was safe. She really didn't stand a chance. So I pushed it to the back of my mind, and wrapped my arms around Edward's waist as I invited the others inside.

As the others slowly calmed down, listening to Jasper fill them in on what had happened, my mood was starting to darken. It was stupid and bratty, but I could have killed that vampire myself just out of anger of her ruining my plans. The only thing preventing me from twitching angrily was Edward's fingertips, seemingly absentmindedly playing with the hem of my dress, brushing against my thigh occasionally. I was glad that Jasper couldn't read my moods anymore as I crossed my legs tightly. Edward seemed to barely be paying attention to the others as they spoke, and didn't give anything to the conversation either. I couldn't help myself as I wiggled slightly in his lap, almost regretting it when he froze. I begged him mentally not to pull away, even though he couldn't hear me, and almost moaned in relief when he swept my hair over one shoulder, and placed a burning kiss on the back of my neck.

They excused themselves around eleven, and by that time I felt thoroughly ashamed with myself for the flavour my thoughts had taken. Edward was completely composed, still a little quiet, and after I gave hugs to everyone they left.

"Are you okay?" I asked again, worry coating my voice. I hated seeing his eyes lost like that.

"I'm fine," he said, giving me a reassuring smile. I gave him back the best smile that I could, seeing that he was still completely somewhere else, before walking back to the bedroom and forcing myself not to sulk. I wasn't going to make this about myself, I needed to give him time if he wasn't ready to talk to me yet.

_Or maybe he's just growing bored with you…_

I bit down on my lip, keeping my breathing steady as I battled with the sting in my eyes. I was so distracted that I jumped when his fingers wrapped around my wrist. He was looking down at me with a worried expression.

"No one ever sneaks up on you," he said, a tinge of fear in his voice. "Are you feeling okay?"

_No, I feel like I'm going to burst at the seams and drown_. I smiled up at him. "I'm fine."

My legs started to tremble as he slid his hand, light as a feather, over my hip. His other hand cupped the side of my face, and I pulled in a shaking breath as I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. "Talk to me Isabella." His voice was a deep rumble, setting my insides on fire.

I opened my eyes, and looked up at his towering form. It wasn't imposing, it was protective. I watched him for a long minute before speaking.

"I miss you," I whispered, automatically leaning into him. My eyes pricked painfully when he moved back slightly.

"I'm right here," he said. His eyes looked almost, annoyed? I had never seen that look in his eyes before, and my entire body turned cold.

_Bored…_

I loved him more than anything, but my response was instinctual. I shut down, locked up, threw away all emotion. It was too easy, and so much less painful than the alternative.

"No, you're not." I pulled my hand out of his, and turned back to the bedroom. When he grabbed onto my hips, using the force that I so desperately wanted, and pushed me up against the wall, all I could do was pierce him with an empty look. This was safer. He watched me closely, and looked to be searching for something. The silence was maddening enough to crack my exterior.

"Are you bored now?" I had to know. I couldn't pull myself through that, weighing him down because he was too good of a person to cast me aside.

"What?"

"I asked you if you were bored. Of me." My voice came out calm, cold. Indifferent, though I was anything but. He flinched, and his eyes went dark as I heard his fingers pierce through the drywall on either side of me.

"You think I'm bored with you?" I refused to flinch under his gaze.

"Or annoyed, I don't know. That's why I'm asking."

He leaned in close, leveling his eyes with mine as he lowered his head. "I would never get bored of you, or annoyed. Ever," he said strongly.

Suddenly, I was angry again, livid. He was either lying or hiding, and I wouldn't have either. I ripped at the bow in my dress, letting it fall to the floor around my feet.

"Prove it," I challenged, looking him levelly in the eyes. There was a poof of white dust as his hand broke through the drywall completely, his eyes traveling over me and leaving invisible burns on my skin.

Then his lips were on mine, rough and frantic, and in a second I was being thrown back on the bed, his heavy body pinning me down on the mattress. His lips pulled away from mine suddenly, and I looked up at him. He only gave me a second to look into his eyes, and it was all I needed to see that he was just as desperate for this as I was. It was torture for him too, and just like that everything else melted away. His lips crashed against mine, and my hands quickly shot up, grabbing onto the collar of his t-shirt, and ripping it clean down the middle in crazed impatience. His chest vibrated under my nails as they scraped down his smooth marble stomach, and he wiggled between my legs as he tore off his jeans. I barely felt it as his teeth tore through the lace on my hips, his tongue quickly dipping inside of me before he trailed it up my stomach.

"Fuck!" I cried, as he quickly slid himself inside of me, pushing as deep as he could go. That was all it took, and I clutched at his shoulders as the waves of ecstasy washed over my body. His lips were quickly on my neck as he froze inside of me.

"I'm so sorry love," he said in a deep, sensual growl. "This was just as hard for you as it was for me, wasn't it?"

"Worse," I said, knowing my voice sounded more like a whimper, he pulled out almost completely before thrusting back in quickly. I cried out again, clutching at him with my thighs and cracking a nail as I gripped too tightly onto his thick arms. "You wouldn't even touch me, but you burned me with your eyes. I was burning and drowning at the same time. I thought you didn't want me." He thrust into me again, hard, and I braced my hands against the headboard to stop my head from sliding into it.

"Don't ever doubt that I want you," he growled, starting to thrust more quickly. His hands slid up my arms, and ripped my lace bra to shreds before his fingers started twisting at one of my nipples, sending another overwhelming ripple of pleasure through my body. I squirmed underneath him, not able to form a coherent thought in my mind. All there was was him, fire, and electric pleasure. "Ever," he growled, a little louder. I whimpered, feeling so close to another wave. "I want to hear you say it Isabella," he said, slowing down his pace again. How was he able to keep so composed like this? I couldn't let him slow down, I would surely die if he did.

"I won't, I won't ever doubt you," I cried, "Please, _Edward_." His name reverberated through every atom of my mind and body as I said his name, gasping and crying out as I lost myself to another climax while he raked his teeth gently down the side of my neck.

Something changed in him then, like he had been taken over by a whole new version of himself that I had never seen. My back was thrust up against the headboard, his hands pinning mine against the wall over my head as he moved faster inside me than he ever had before. His mouth sucked at my breasts and he claimed me with an almost animalistic energy. It was too must sensation for one person to bear, and I lost myself to it, praying that he never stopped, and knowing I'd never doubt him again.

He was _mine_.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Hey, do you want to go for a bike ride?" I asked him hopefully. Things had quickly gone back to normal. Almost. It had been too easy to fall back into the happy bliss that had become my life, but Edward…. There was something different about him. Every once in a while, I would catch him lost, deep in thought. Ever since that vampire had shown up in the lake something had been bothering him. I didn't see what he was so worried about though. Alice was watching her, and we really weren't in any danger from one crazy vampire.

We had thoroughly, and I mean _very_ thoroughly, dealt with the misunderstanding we had had. He had been so terrified of hurting me, hating that I had been so injured in our own home.

"Sure," he said happily, but I could tell that it was forced. And in that moment I saw in his eyes that he knew that I knew that. His eyes turned worried, but I gave him a gentle smile.

"I know you're hiding something from me Edward, and I just want you to know that it's okay."

He raised a surprised eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. If you don't want to tell me than you don't have to," I told him. He had been so patient with me over the past couple years, it was the least I could do for him. He would tell me when he was ready. I saw a look of guilt pass over his face, and turned around and made my way out to the garage. I felt him follow close behind me. Once we got into the garage, I pulled on my biking jacket and slid on my gloves and helmet, and Edward opened up the garage door. He rolled his bike out as I started mine up, then closed the door again before starting his up. He looked over at me and tapped the side of his helmet, and I remembered to turn on the head set.

"God, you look so gorgeous on that bike," his voice purred as it drifted in through the speakers in my helmet.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I said lightly, and heard him laugh.

"Where do you want to go?"

"It doesn't matter. I'd follow you anywhere," I told him honestly. His helmet turned back in my direction, and I thought he was going to turn off his bike for a second, so I revved mine. He gave me one nod, and I followed after him as he carefully made his way down our curving driveway.

We stayed out for the entire day, just driving around aimlessly. As we were on the road and talked to each other through our headsets I could easily hear his mood start to pick up through the sound of his voice. I didn't need to even see his face. We barely made it back before seven, and Edward sat on one of the stools in the kitchen, smiling at me while I made myself dinner.

I sat down next to him, our knees lightly touching the others as I ate my sandwich. I was half way through it when he spoke.

"She knows that she doesn't stand a chance against our family," he said quietly.

I looked back at him calmly. "Then what is she trying to do?"

"She saw you hit her mate with your shield, she figured out that it was you who did it. She isn't trying to come after us, she wants you," he said in a dead voice. I rested my hand on his leg, and waited until he looked up at me before I spoke.

"You know that she doesn't have a chance of getting close to me Edward," I told him reasonably. "Why are you worried?"

"The fact that she is even alive, and thinking what she is thinking… just knowing that she exists angers me. I can't help but think, what if she gets past us somehow?"

"She won't," I told him confidently. "But even if she did, you know that I have my own way of protecting myself."

That didn't seem to comfort him. "I _never_ want to let you go into a situation where you'd have to use your shield. If it really is that that caused… No, you _will_ be safe with me," He said fiercely.

I smiled at him, and watched his face relax as I held it in my palms. "I know I'm safe with you Edward. I trust you completely," I told him. His hands were gentle as they went around my waist, and he easily lifted me off of my stool, sitting me on his lap. I leaned into him as his hands slid up my back, pressing me more firmly against his chest. "I love you," I whispered, and he kissed me urgently, leaning me back against the counter behind me.

. . . . . . . . . .

Even in the sweltering heat, the water of the lake still felt ice cold. I shivered as I dipped a foot into the water, taking it back out quickly. Edward was smiling at me in amusement, completely indifferent to the cold water as he treaded through it, watching me. "Too cold?" He asked teasingly.

I scowled at him, and forced myself to jump in quickly like he had, squealing loudly from the shock of the cold water. He laughed loudly, and I quickly submerged my head under the water. After my head broke back out through the surface, I didn't find it as cold. I turned around to face where I could feel him behind me, and smiled up at him. My head bobbed up and down as I treaded through the water, but he was completely still.

"How are you able to swim so still like that?" I asked, feeling a little exasperated as I watched him. It had been years since I'd gone swimming, and I was having a little trouble getting into the rhythm of it. He laughed loudly again.

"I'm not swimming Isabella, I'm standing," he said, still shaking with laughter. He was quickly by my side, and as his hands slid up my waist his skin felt almost warm in comparison the temperature of the cold water. I wrapped my arms around him though, thankful for the break of flailing my limbs around in the water while I tried to stay afloat.

"You tall people have no idea how easy you have it," I said, a little exasperated. I knew my face didn't reflect my voice at all though, I couldn't not smile when he was touching me like this. Three months of marriage had done nothing to lessen the attraction I had to him. I never tired of him, nor could I ever seem to get enough of him. I was addicted to the electricity that coursed through my body whenever he touched me, and I didn't really feel alive if I couldn't feel him.

But as happy as I was, I couldn't help but think this wasn't enough for him. He was always smiling, laughing, and never gave any indication that he wasn't happy in the little haven away from the world we had built together. He did so much for me, and I felt like I couldn't give him anything in return. I had given myself completely, mind and body, to Edward but it wasn't enough. He deserved more, someone who wouldn't hold him back like I did. Someone who could travel with him, challenge him, go out in public with him. Someone that he didn't need to take care of, and worry about hurting herself every time he turned his back.

I knew he loved me, and that his family would take care of him once I was gone. There was someone out there who would be better for him than I was… And that thought destroyed me. Picturing him with someone else after I was gone, knowing someone else would probably do a better job than I had at making him happy.

But as much as I didn't want to hold him back anymore, I didn't want to die. I desperately wanted to live, to live with him and never leave his side.

_Why can't you just say it?_

"What's wrong?" He asked gently, brushing my wet hair out of my face. I couldn't answer him, not without crying, and I wouldn't let myself hurt him like that. So instead, I gripped onto him tightly, kissing him as fiercely as I could as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

His body responded instantly as he gripped onto me harder, fisting one of his hands in my hair. I quickly forgot every other thought as he tore through my bathing suit, and I felt the burning hot sand under my back as he laid me down on our narrow beach.

**Thanks for reading!**


	30. Chapter Thirty: Choice

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty :: Choice**

**Edward**

She was sitting up in the office, legs folded under her on her circular reading chair with her laptop perched on her lap. She had a set of giant headphones on, and I could see the reflection of her face on the glass of the window. A big, relaxed smile, her eyes closed as she seemed lost in the blaring music in her ears. She was completely zoned out, just as Jasper had said. It was obvious to me when she didn't look up at me as soon as I walked into the room.

I quickly named the band she was listening to. Pink Floyd. It was not very often that I heard her listening to music other than the radio, she always made me pick CDs when we listened to music. I realized that I had never actually asked her what her favourite type of music was, and was shocked by the realization. I had just assumed it was classical, because she always seemed to enjoy it. Music was something we were both passionate about, just in slightly different ways. I had never seen her smile like this when listening to music with me though. The song ended, and I watched her sigh slightly before pulling off her head phones, and spinning her chair around to face me with a smile.

"Hey handsome," she said lightly, grinning up at me. I walked over and sat on the edge of her chair.

"What's your favourite type of music?" I asked her. She looked at me curiously.

"That's a pretty broad question," she said, not looking sure how to answer.

"Do you have a favourite band?" This was really important to me now, seeking some sort of reassurance for my assumption. I should know what my own wife's favourite band was, and the fact that I wasn't sure bothered me.

"Led Zeppelin," she said immediately, and I stared at her. I wouldn't have guessed that. She caught my frown before I could hide it. "What?" She said, leaning forward and taking my hand.

"I didn't know what your favourite band was," I said dejectedly. I gave up hiding from her a while ago, it was futile, she always got any answer she wanted out of me with ease. The only woman who could read the mind of a mind reader. The universe made her for me, I'm sure.

"You know now," she countered. "Why does that bother you?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I feel like it was neglectful not knowing, isn't that one of the first questions couples ask each other?"

She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "What's my favourite colour?"

"Purple," I answered immediately.

"My favourite flower?"

"Lilacs, the lavender coloured ones."

"My favourite smell?"

I thought about that one for a minute, and smiled. "The smell of a new book."

"Edward, you know me better than anyone in the world. It's impossible for anyone to completely know someone else, even for a telepath," she said gently. I smiled at her, she knew my path of logic better than I did sometimes. She grinned back at me, and leaned forward to kiss me softly. "How was lunch?" She asked with a smile.

It never got less weird, seeing how comfortable she was talking to me about my diet. I shook my head.

"Not nearly as delicious as you," I whispered thickly, leaning down and tracing the tip of my tongue up along the shell of her ear. She flinched away, giggling. "Did you miss me?"

"Of course I did," she said, staring up at me with sparkling eyes.

"Did you have fun with Jasper?" I mused. She had been surprisingly complacent with me, I couldn't bear the idea of Victoria getting that close to her again.

_I'll get her, and then you'll know how I feel. What is she? That strange scent, and that invisible force… I don't care, she has a beating heart, and I'm going to rip it out of her with my teeth and wear her veins around my neck like golden chains. I'll cut her into a million pieces and hide each piece in a different country, and you'll never be able to put her back together, just like my James… _

My fingers instinctually curled into deadly claws, but my eyes flickered back to Isabella, and her smiling face melted away the anger and pain of the memory. "He was brooding today, he must have pissed off Alice. I set him up with a book and gave him some space," she said. The gentleness in her face reminded me of Esme in that moment, and it made me smile to see her have such… paternal instincts for someone who was a hundred and forty-three years older than her.

"He accidently tore a shirt of hers that she was particularly fond of."

"Oh dear god, it's the end of days!" she said, laughing loudly to herself. I couldn't help but laugh too, but got up quickly, grabbing a large wooden box from under my desk and sitting back down next to her. She leaned over to look, resting her chin on my shoulder as I rifled through my collection. Her eyes went wide when I pulled out the mint-condition vinyl's. I handed them over to her gladly, and she held them with slightly shaking hands.

"They're yours," I said, and she beamed up at me, tossing her arms around my neck. I caught her laptop before it crashed onto the floor.

"Yet another perk of being married to an older man," she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. I couldn't help throwing my head back and laughing loudly.

No one but her has ever made me laugh like this before, and I knew no one else ever would. She kissed me firmly on the cheek since I was still laughing, and agilely hopped up to her feet and ran with the records downstairs. I followed quickly behind her, sitting down on the couch as she carefully slid one of the records out of its sleeve, and gently set it down on the player. I won't deny that I sat there and ogled at her behind in her small, black shorts as she bent over and adjusted the equalizer. I couldn't help reaching over the coffee table, and gently pinching her. She squealed in surprise, her hands flying to her bottom as she spun around and smiled at me.

She never hid how much she enjoyed my touches, and I loved it. The loud, mellow music drifted out of the speakers, and she sighed happily as she dropped down on the couch next to me, resting her head in my lap and closing her eyes.

I wish I had known, just so I could have given them to her sooner. She practically melted under the sound of the music, and as I caught a glimpse of her navy-blue bra under the collar of her shirt, my hand automatically started to reach to slide under her shirt to feel the soft skin underneath.

But then my eyes caught something else very exciting, her fingers slightly twitching in rhythm with the song. I grinned, and sat her up gently, grabbing the guitar that I had deemed hers since the first time I heard her play at our wedding from the wall next to the piano. I smiled at her, my eyes pleading as I gently put it into her hands. She smiled, settling it in her lap, closing her eyes and listening for a moment before her fingers started to go along with the tune. The double harmony made the sound so much more beautiful.

Like she could read my mind, I was glad that she didn't sing these particular lyrics. It would have killed me even knowing that it didn't mean anything, another person's words. I could see the melody inside her soul as her head twisted with the words, picking a careful, safer verse to let the music out of her.

"_Oh, woman, woman, I know, I know  
It feels good to have you back again  
And I know that one day, baby, it's gonna really grow, yes it is.  
We gonna go walkin' through the park every day.  
Come what may, every day, ooh…"_

I'll never tire this.

I wouldn't even have the time to try to tire of this. Every blissful moment with her was one less that I had left, and I savoured, worshipped every moment that I was given.

Her stomach growled loudly, and she grinned at me before setting the guitar down carefully and skipping over to the kitchen. Once again, I tried to copy the sound she had made on the soft, wooden instrument, and even though I easily hit each and every note, it just didn't sound as good. I sat it back down next to the piano, and gravity pulled me back towards the sound of her heartbeat.

How could someone who looked so healthy, so incredibly alive, be so… I couldn't even think the word. I just watched her silently, a red popsicle sticking out of her mouth as she started unloading things out of the fridge. I found it entertaining to watch, the intricate process she went through to make something that took no time to consume. It seemed so much more difficult than the lynx and two deer I had taken down earlier today.

The image in front of me shifted to one of her, staring down her prey with piercing scarlet eyes as she leapt down and took out a deer. I blinked, and she was brown-eyed once more, closing the door on the fridge with her foot as she walked over to the window, and started cutting some green thing. She stopped and habitually opened the window before going back to cutting.

"Can I try?" I asked, pointing to the knife that looked frighteningly large in her small hands as she moved it dangerously fast through the vegetable. Or maybe it was a fruit? I needed to pay more attention to the names of things she ate.

She slid them over to me, and started washing her hands. "You know you're not going to like the smell," she said.

I shrugged, and sliced tentatively through it once, then in a move too quick for her to see finished chopping the entire thing in about three seconds. She grinned, then took the cutting board back from me, along with the knife, and used it to scrape the chopped food into a large bowl.

"What are you making?"

She quickly swallowed the piece she had popped into her mouth before speaking. "Pasta salad."

"Don't you have to cook pasta?"

"This is cooked, I left it in the fridge to cool," she said easily. She handed me the cutting board again, this time with a purple round thing and a red thing that looked like the green one. "Can you do that again?"

I grinned, dicing them up like I had the other thing. She smiled. "Thanks, I hate dicing onions," she said, scraping the stuff into the bowl. I watched as she mixed and added things, tasting after each addition. I smiled at the big portion that she gave herself. It felt like she had gained a pound, and I was immensely relieved that she wasn't losing more weight. As usual though she cleaned up all of her dishes before she let herself eat.

We sat and listened to the music while she ate, setting her cleared plate down on the table and leaning her head back. I was watching the delicate curve of her neck, her chest rising and falling with her breath, and about three minutes later, her breathing slowed, her face relaxed even more, and I realized that she had fallen asleep. It wasn't even four in the afternoon. I smiled adoringly at her sleeping face, easing her head up so she wouldn't wake up with a sore neck. I decided to just let her nap, and settled her head in my lap as I picked up the book she had been reading off of the table. Wilderness survival skills? Her scattered choices in reading materials never ceased to entertain me. After a while she rolled over with a huff, moving her face into my lap, and I decided it would be safer to slide a pillow under her head. I froze, dazed by the radiance of the glowing smile that spread over her sleeping face, her head cradled in one of my hands as I was lowering her onto the pillow.

"Elizabeth," she breathed. The sound would have been lost on human ears, but I caught it. The book that was resting against my thigh completely forgotten, I just watched her serene face, her hair flowing like water through my fingers and pooling around her in my lap. What I wouldn't give to be able to see her dreams. One little glimpse into her mind.

"_**Edward." **_ The memory of it made me shiver, how she had said my name so deeply that it had seemed to reverberate from the recesses of my mind. Like I had _heard_ her, so consumed by the high that had been her lust. She rolled onto her side towards me again, burying her face and one delicate fist in my shirt. I brushed away the hair that tried to shield her face from me, and traced my fingers delicately across her soft cheek. She hummed as my fingers left a trail down her bare arm, and rested on her waist.

It was so painful to even look at her sometimes, but I never stood a chance at looking away. I shuddered internally at the memory of her, finding her naked and unconscious, in a diluted pool of her own blood in the shower. How for weeks afterwards her legs, arms and forehead had turned so dark blue they almost looked black. How she had seemed to look so pained, so close to tears that I was terrified to touch her with any more pressure than that of a gentle breath. I've learned my lesson, trying to hide from her. It always does more harm than good. Not only had I been hurting myself, but I had been hurting her so much that she thought I had lost interest in her. Just the thought of that, of her thinking she was unwanted, a burden, filled me with rage. She was everything and she had no idea.

_She'll change her mind,_ I told myself once again. She just has to work through it, and I can't push that. I know she loves me just as much as I love her, I've seen it. _She'll change her mind._

A glance at her watch caught my attention. Would she want time to make something else? I got bored of a diet of constant deer, maybe she wouldn't want to eat the same thing two meals in a row, even though she had made a really large bowl of it. I stole one more minute to watch her sleep first though, contemplating my move with a grin.

My favourite game; waking her up.

I leaned over, and blew gently against her skin just below her ear. She fidgeted slightly but otherwise didn't move, so I did it again and smiled as she swatted her hand by her ear, and rolled onto her back. She had the faint hint of a frown on her face, and I just couldn't have that. I lightly traced her pale lips with my thumb, and grinned when she smiled faintly. She stretched her neck as my fingertips smoothed down her throat, and I tickled her collar bone. She squirmed in my lap then, her arms moving too quickly as her eyebrows furrowed, and I regretted that move. I didn't want her waking up _that_ quickly. Her eyes fluttered open in annoyance, and I lost all control of my hand as it slid firmly down her body and dipped straight into her shorts. Liquid fire against my fingertips.

Her eyes popped open in surprise for a moment, but as I traced slow circles around her she let out a shaking sigh, closing her eyes and relaxing under my touch. I watched her in almost a daze as I teased her slowly, seeing her pleasure build. I knew she wanted me to go faster, but I wanted to draw this out. I enjoyed this just as much as she obviously did. When her hands went down to grab my arm, I quickly caught them with my free arm, wrapping my fingers easily around both of her slim wrists and holding them above her head. She arched her back with a loud sigh. She almost started to frown again, so I slipped my hand deeper into her shorts, leaning over her with a smile as I dipped two fingers inside of her. She took in a sharp breath, and moaned as I quickly picked up my speed. Her breathing became very heavy, and she opened her eyes and looked straight into mine. I smiled down at her, and as I lightly pinched her clit her body melted in my lap, her eyes fluttering closed. I didn't release her hands, but just held her there as I listened to her heart rate slowly calm down. She opened her eyes again, and we just watched each other for a while. The way she was looking at me, I'm surprised my skin didn't just burst into flames. Her eyes were like chocolate and gold flames, threatening to burn me alive. She didn't try to pull away or move, seemingly content just lying across my lap with her wrists in an iron grip. The corner of her lip twitched up when I ran my free hand over her breasts and down her stomach. She stretched, arching her back in the process, and the image was too much. I groaned, closing my eyes while releasing her, and when she sat up I felt her hand go over the firm bulge in my pants. I looked down, and her watch practically screamed at me.

Much faster than she could see, I picked her up and set her down in the kitchen, then sat down in one of the stools, keeping the safety of the island between us. She was barely shocked, too accustomed to my vampiric speed, and looked at the clock and sighed. She looked back over at me, not looking in my eyes, and her face looked horrified for a moment. I watched as she went to run out of the kitchen, and stopped her. She looked up at me, and fidgeted slightly, her eyes darting away.

"Can you pass me that plate?" She asked, nodding to her lunch plate that was still on the coffee table.

_She wasn't running to me, she was running to her forgotten plate_, I told myself a little dejectedly. I grabbed it quickly, handing it over to her, and she gave me a dazzling smile, ignoring the plate and grabbing my face. I let her pull my face down, and my moment of sadness was completely dissolved. I grinned as one of her hands grabbed onto my belt, and pulled away gently before going back to my stool. She sighed dramatically, and walked over to the fridge. I read the label on the carton as she poured herself a large glass of chocolate milk, and drank the entire glass in one go, almost gasping for air afterwards. She took her two tiny pills, the ones hopefully giving me more time, yet endangering her at the same time. She barely played in her gardens anymore because she didn't like upsetting me with the bruises she would get on her knees, even with the special knee pads Esme had gotten her.

She loved hiking, but hadn't asked to go once this summer.

She loved firing her gun, but hadn't once since before we'd gotten married.

She loved building things, but she had let me take the task of building the walkway and gazebo away from her, not complaining once.

She loved working on her truck, but hadn't popped the hood since she was diagnosed, standing back and letting Rose take over for her.

She was never left alone anymore, there was always someone within calling distance of her, where before she couldn't function without her privacy.

I was changing her, taking away the things she had loved most, and she took it with a calm, understanding smile.

She also didn't do much yoga anymore, usually only if she was feeling sick, but she didn't have panic attacks anymore. She didn't crumble from the stress of altering a set routine. She was always smiling.

But then again, she had always smiled before. She had always been able to smile to ease our moods, convincing me that she was happy even as I could feel her emotions from Jasper. The strength of her pain had been enough to suffocate a vampire, but she smiled anyways in front of us. She had fooled us for an entire year, keeping her knowledge of us a secret. No matter how well I knew her, I would never be able to look over the fact that she was an amazing actress again. It would be irresponsible for me to do so.

I watched her, eating a large sandwich as she puttered around in the kitchen. She poured some sugar into a bowl of brown crumbs, mixing it and adding some melted butter into it before stirring it with a fork. I watched, intrigued as the texture in the bowl slowly changed, and she dumped it into a pie plate and started pressing it down with a spoon, flattening the mixture until it coated all of the sides evenly. I was distracted.

"What are you making?"

"Cherry cheese cake," she said, and started dumping other stuff that was white into a bowl. She still had that content smile on her face.

"Are you happy Isabella?" I asked quietly.

"I will be once I get to eat this," she said excitedly, eyes glowing. Her whole face seemed to be glowing.

"That's not what I meant."

She looked over at me, worry flashing briefly through her eyes, and she moved her bowl in front of me, turning off her hand mixer. She analyzed my face carefully. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, using my most frequented question when I was with her.

"You've given up a lot lately, your target practice, gardening, hiking, working on your truck, playing with power tools… I feel like I'm taking so much away from you, and I hate it. Are you really happy here?"

"Yes," she answered immediately, piercing my eyes with hers. "Just talking to you makes me happier than all of those things combined. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss them, but I'm okay with that."

I scrutinized her face, and she leaned over, placing her forearms on the counter while she continued to trap me in her gaze. "Yes, I had fallen in love with my hobbies, but I've fallen for you much, much harder. At first they were just ways to keep me busy, to stop me from having to think because I couldn't stand even being in my own mind. I was scared, I was lonely, and I was in pain.

But I'm not anymore. With you, my mind isn't dark anymore. I'm not scared, and I'm definitely not lonely. I'm so, so happy here with you Edward. I've never been as happy as you make me feel, ever."

Her eyes darkened, and she reached over and took my hands in hers, watching me carefully. "You've given up a lot too. Your time with your family, work, school, privacy. Does that bother you?"

"No," I told her easily. My mind had no control over my mouth as it spoke to her. "Work, school, they were just ways to distract me from my own loneliness. I wasn't really living before I met you, I was just… There. I'd buy my own house just to be able to escape the minds of six people that were so in love that I thought I would drown in the loneliness. I had just been waiting for you, for a hundred years, and in an instant you changed my life. I have privacy with you, you know what it's like to be in a crowd with hundreds, how overwhelming it can be to feel their minds. But with you, I have quiet. There's so much peace. You make me feel… Normal, human even. You _are_ my family Isabella."

Her eyes watered, and a tear rolled down the side of her cheek as she watched me. I was on the other side of the kitchen in a quarter of a second, spinning her around and kissing her. Her arms became a vice around my neck, her tears dampening my face as she kissed me back urgently. As I leaned her into the counter, her arm shot out behind her, sending glass and bowls crashing down onto the ground. I easily lifted her up, setting her on the counter as her hands quickly and expertly undid the buttons on my shirt. I shrugged it off before grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head, my fingers quickly unclasping her bra and tossing it away. I didn't have enough patience for her shorts though, just grabbing onto the waist of them and ripped them easily in two.

This counter could not have been at a more perfect height. As I laid her back against the cool green marble, I pined her down with my mouth, leaving kisses all over her body as I undid my pants and quickly slid into her. It was a beautiful view, both my hands free to explore her body as I pumped into her. As I quickened my movements she gripped onto the second level of the counter, holding onto its edge tightly as she braced herself, and arched her back. I cupped her breasts, increasing my speed as I twisted her nipples delicately. I kept speed with her heart, speeding up as it did, and as she let go of the counter and gripped onto my wrists, she knocked the pie plate on the ground, the glass shattering on the kitchen floor, and she didn't even seem to care.

_What the hell was that? Maybe she threw a dish at him_, by brother thought as he made his way cautiously towards the house.

"Go away Emmett!" Isabella shouted loudly. He heard her and froze, and I went to pull out. Her legs wrapped around me like a vice. "I swear to god Edward, if you stop now I'll kill you," she growled, and a heavy wave of desire washed over me. She wasn't embarrassed in the slightest, or ashamed, and I obliged by quickening my speed again. Emmett practically ran, the anger in Isabella's voice more frightening than the possibility of what he almost walked in on, telling himself that he'd wait a bit longer. One of Isabella's hands let go of my wrist, sliding down in between her legs as she touched herself. It was so erotic, I was dazed for a moment. I wanted to be the one to make her climax though, and I quickly trapped both of her hands in one of mine again, and took over for her. Her hot breath washed over my face as she panted, struggling to breathe. God, she smelt so good. I couldn't help leaning down and tracing my tongue along her neck, then her lower lip, breathing in the air she exhaled.

She finished only three thrusts before I did, and I leaned over her, pinning her body against the cold marble while resting my head on her chest, bathing in the warmth she emitted while nuzzling her breasts gently. Her hands were very soft as they slid into my hair, combing through it slowly with her slim fingers. I would have been content to stay just like that for the rest of my existence. But her fingers slowed down as her body continued to relax, and after maybe ten minutes she fell asleep again right there on the counter.

I knew it couldn't be very comfortable, so I carefully lifted her up, and tucked her into the bed without waking her, just watching her gentle smile until I heard Emmett come back again. I quickly did my belt back up, picking Isabella's clothes off of the floor and tossing them into the laundry room, and went to open the back door for him as he walked inside. He took one look at me, standing there in no more than a pair of jeans, and his eyes flickered over the kitchen, the floor covered in crumbs, dishes, broken glass, the white mixture Isabella had been making splashed across the floor. He lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Where's Belle?" He said, trying to hide the flicker of worry that passed through his mind.

"Asleep," I said with a smile, starting to pick up pieces of glass and throwing them into the garbage. "She was exhausted," I said wryly, and he laughed. He watched as I quickly cleaned, knowing Isabella would have a heart attack if she saw this mess. Emmett set a duffle bag on the counter as he sat down on one of the stools and relaxed. A human habit we tried to keep on top of.

There were certain things you learned to overlook when you had no choice but hearing the inner voices of everyone around you. The one where my family, who had quickly come to the realization of the way our relationship had changed after our wedding, was constantly worried that I was going to break the new, fragile member of our family, was one of them.

_Is it hard, being with a human?_ He asked, unable to imagine doing that with her scent so close. I wouldn't have spoken about this to anyone other than Emmett. We were always comfortable telling each other things, to a certain extent. I wouldn't go giving him any details, but it was also the fair thing to do since I could hear everything in _his_ mind.

"I had thought it would be, but it's not. It's the easiest and most amazing thing in the world. Her scent just makes it even more powerful. You know how much you love Rose's scent."

_Yeah, but I couldn't imagine kissing something that smells like…_ He didn't need to finish the sentence. Even though Isabella's scent was strongest on me, even the rest of my family thought she smelt better than other humans.

"Her lips taste just like her scent," I said quietly, sliding disinfectant cloths over the floors. "She tastes better than any blood, I could live off of it. It makes hunting deer taste like dirt."

He inspected my eyes carefully, looking for a sign of crimson red, and I glared at him. "I wouldn't never break like that," I told him fiercely. "She's safe with me."

"I know, I'm sorry. You know that we're just… worried. That's all. We all love her Ed."

"I know," I said simply. "Do you have any idea how to make a cheese cake?"

I shot him a glare when his booming laugh filled the house, and he composed himself quickly as we listened to see if we had woken her. "They make cakes out of cheese now?" He asked curiously. I sighed.

"I think so, I don't know." I sighed. "What's in the bag?"

_A present for Belle_, he thought, and I saw the images of a cork target, a bow and a big quiver of arrows. Special gloves too to protect her fingers. _No recoil on this, and I want to see if she can shoot an apple off of my head,_ he thought with a mental laugh_. I was really hoping to give it to her myself._

"She'll be up by seven," I told him, grateful to one of my brothers once again for bringing her another potential new hobby. Jasper and Emmett were always bringing random things over to our house to try and entertain her. The video games he brought failed miserably, I still remember my big smile as she handed the controller over to me with a frustrated huff and scowl as she got herself stuck in a corner and once again blew herself up. Emmett had loved it, his booming laugh pissing her off even more. She couldn't play any sports with us for so many reasons, and they weren't really into the whole crafts hobby that she shared with Esme and Alice. The closet in our guestroom was completely crammed with different board games, and she got bored quickly watching television. Whenever it was on she spent most of the time smiling up at me, and I by far preferred to look back down at her and just hold her in my arms.

It drove my family crazy. _Typical newly webs_, they thought, rolling their eyes. Even though they were over joyed, every one of them, that our family was finally complete, we all had enough space in our minds to think about the depth of the shadow that was slowly creeping over. Every smile, every bit of love and joy was mirrored, and the dark reflections piled up, waiting to crash down on us all at any moment.

_How's she doing?_ He thought, just needing a little bit of reassurance that we still had time. I gave him an encouraging smile.

"Really well, not a single bruise on her. She's been eating more lately too, and sleeping really well. She's happy," I said confidently. It wasn't only for him, I needed to hear it too, even if it was by my own voice.

He relaxed visibly, standing up and grinning at me. _Well, it looks like she's been getting a lot of support_, he said, trying to muffle his laugh at his own joke. I wasn't embarrassed, grinning back. The fact that Isabella and I just worked so well together, fit so perfectly, was just further proof that I was doing the right thing. We were made for each other. My entire century of solitude was all to prepare me for her.

His smile kept looking genuine, but I couldn't ignore his thoughts. They were always so _loud_, I was becoming so accustomed to the peaceful silence. He didn't want to leave, because he hadn't only come here for Isabella. He missed spending time with me, and I felt a wave of guilt because of that. "Do you want to stay for a while? PlayStation is still set up."

"Sure," he said quickly, making me smile. I told him to give me a minute, walking into the bedroom quickly and sliding closed the double doors behind me. She had rolled over on to my side of the bed, her face buried in my pillow, making me smile but also making want to desperately crawl in next to her. I closed the white curtains behind the glass double doors too, before walking over and sliding the blanket back over her bare shoulders. I made sure not to actually touch her for fear of waking her up, knowing I wouldn't be able to leave if I did, but I could still tell that she was really warm. I opened the two windows in the room before grabbing a plain black t-shirt and going back out to join Emmett. The curtain closed behind me as I walked through it and I closed the doors behind me again, and even though I couldn't see her I could easily hear her steady heartbeat.

It was strange, not being with her while she slept in our bed. It was the closest thing to sleeping I had ever experienced as a vampire, and I had become so used to it that it felt strange to break the pattern. This was what my life had been like before I met her, never retiring for the night, one long endless day. She made me feel so human with the way her schedule shaped and separated my days. It was really nice spending time with Emmett though, and made me realize how much I did miss his company.

I did keep Isabella from them too much, and I couldn't ignore how selfish that was anymore. I also realized that she probably missed them too, but was indulging me.

I heard her wake up at five-thirty in the morning, the blankets moving around slightly and then her light footsteps walking over to the bathroom. It shouldn't have bothered me, that she didn't call for me and ask me where I was, or wasn't surprised to find me not there. But it did for a moment before I realized that she would be able to feel Emmett and I in the living room. I turned up the volume on the television when she closed the bathroom door to give her privacy. She didn't open up the double doors and tie back the curtains until a quarter to seven, and even though I was on his team, Emmett took advantage of my distraction and blew me up.

She was wearing tight black jeans and a white sleeveless blouse, a small, black leather vest with three large silver buttons on top. Her skin seemed to almost glow, her hair not hiding her face while piled into a messy bun on the top of her head. She smiled brightly at me, walking over to the back of the couch, and tilting my head back to kiss me. I cracked the plastic on the controller in my hand when I squeezed it a little too tightly, her scent seeming to hit me ever harder than usual after being away from her for so long. She smelt even more delicious than ever. I couldn't help reflecting her glowing smile as she pulled back, the smell of mint and strawberries and _her_ wafting over me. She let go of me much too quickly, and gave Emmett a big, tight hug around his neck.

"Morning Emmett," she said happily, then practically skipped over to the kitchen.

"Hey Belle," he said with a smile, then gave me a look while thinking of her incredibly cheery mood.

"What brings you over so early?" She was rummaging through the kitchen as she spoke.

"Can you wait until after she eats to show her?" I pleaded. She was easily distracted in the morning sometimes. He nodded, and went and grabbed the black duffel bag off of the counter before she could open it. I couldn't see her over the counter while I was sitting down, but I watched her face through Emmett's eyes as she looked at the bag curiously.

"I'll tell you after you eat," he said teasingly, then sat down on the couch with me again and un-paused the game. After a few minutes I could hear something sizzling in the kitchen.

"Ugh," she said, and I looked over to see her leaning over the counter and watching us. She shuddered slightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking over.

"Toothpaste and orange juice," she explained. I looked at her curiously, and she took another large drink of her juice.

"I don't get it," I asked, Emmett laughed, but he had no idea what she was talking about either.

"They taste really bad together."

"Then why are you still drinking it?" Why would she drink something that tasted bad? She just rolled her eyes at me and turned around, and Emmett laughed even harder.

She sat down on one of the stools at the counter about twenty minutes later, eating a big sandwich and a bunch of strawberries fairly quickly, then I listened as she washed some dishes, brushed her teeth again, then hopped over the back of the couch and sat down in between Emmett and I.

"Who's winning?" She asked with a smile.

"We're on the same team, but I think I am cause I did kill Ed once," Emmett said happily. She laughed. Emmett paused and quickly put down his controller, then picked up the black bag on the floor. "_I brought you a gift_," he said dramatically, and she smiled up at him curiously. He laid the giant black bag gently on her lap, and it was so long that it stretched across all three of our legs.

She looked at it for a moment, like she was waiting for it to explode, but after a small huff she leaned over my lap to pinch onto the zipper, pausing slightly and grinning up at me before sliding it open. Her eyes went wide when she gasped, and pulled the black stained and silver bow out of the bag. It looked almost as big as she did.

"Holy shit, _you bought me fucking a bow_?" She asked disbelievingly. Emmett is the only person she ever swore around, but she wasn't nearly as bad as he was. Well, she swears around me sometimes too, not that anyone would ever be able to tell. I shook my head slightly in exasperation at the completely innocent and sweet impression that my mother had of her, and had to bite back a laugh at the thought. She looked up at him and he nodded excitedly. She beamed back, hugging him quickly. "You are the coolest brother _ever_," she said happily. I almost winced at the arrow of pain that shot through him. He had always looked at her like a little sister, he adored her, and he was so terrified of losing her.

She quickly threw on a pair of boots, then slid on the black gloves Emmett handed her. After throwing the quiver over her shoulder she picked the bow back up, and the two of them ran outside together, Emmett carrying the large target. I followed after them with a pit in my stomach.

I sat on the steps of the back porch, Isabella standing a few meters away on the grey flagstone path and admiring her knew weapon. She looked over at me and smiled while Emmett set up the target for her.

"My collection is growing, next I'm going to have to get a sword. Or throwing knives!" She said excitedly. I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"Do you see what you've done?" I asked Emmett. He just grinned at me. It had been him who helped her get her first handgun, then the rifle.

"I think throwing knives are an _awesome_ idea," he said, and they looked at each other and laughed. Emmett showed her how to stand properly, and she looked like a child next to his hulking form. He didn't tease her at all as it took her eight tries to be able to hit the target. He was just enjoying the activity with her, thrilled that he had made her so happy and committing every moment to perfect memory. By her eleventh shot she had hit the edge of the center circle, and then it was like she had been doing it for her entire life. It was engrossing to watch, her expression confident and sure as she nocked, drew, and loosed her arrows, her back and arms perfectly straight. The little smile she made each time she hit the target. She stopped after about an hour and a half and ran in to use the washroom.

"She loves it!" He said happily, grinning at me.

"You're a horrible influence," I told him with a smile. "But I really appreciate you doing things like this."

He rolled his eyes. _I didn't do it for you, I did it for her. She's been my sister for much longer than she's been your wife._

"I know, but I'm still grateful."

"Hey Emmett," Isabella sang, "Want to try something cool?"

"Of course," he said back excitedly. She grinned, and tossed him a green apple that she had been hiding behind her back. He laughed, "This was the whole reason why I wanted to do this," he said happily, appearing in front of the target in half a second and setting the apple on top of his head.

"And this thing can't hurt you, right?"

"Not in the slightest, and I could easily catch it even if you miss," he told her reassuringly. He was a little touched that she was still so concerned about his safety. Her face took on a serious expression as she nocked another arrow, aimed carefully, then loosed as she released a soft breath. It knocked the fruit easily off of his head, and the sound of her delighted laughter echoed through my soul.

_She'll change her mind._

Isabella offered to switch, saying her arms needed a bit of a break, and stood with him and cheered as she watched him split arrows. Remembering my intention of spending more time with the others, I sent Esme a text message asking if she and any of the others wanted to come over. Five minutes later the entire family was coming in through the woods, and Isabella ran over to give Esme a hug before she had even made it through the trees.

. . . . . . . . . .

As she came out of the shower her scent hit me hard once again. I felt my eyes darken slightly as I watched her walk across the room in a towel and disappeared into the closet. I sat up on the foot of the bed, watching the light shining out from underneath the door. She was humming, and I couldn't help but smile as I listened to the cheery tune. She was in there a little longer than usual, but my patience was rewarded when she came out in a short denim skirt and a deep purple shirt that had open, baggy sleeves with long cuffs and a very wide neck. She was braiding her hair as she walked out, diagonally across the back of her head, and I caught her around the waist as she walked by. I hadn't expected her to kiss me so quickly, but as soon as my hand touched her she spun in my arms and practically threw herself at me. She gripped my face tightly in her hands, pushing me backwards until I was leaning back against the bed on my elbows. She climbed on top of me, straddling my waist and then gave me a gentle shove, and I let myself fall back on the bed.

I was still in a bit of shock as her hot lips moved from my mouth over to my jaw, her scent and heat dizzying as her tongue ran down my throat, her hands gripping onto the hem of my shirt and pulling it up my stomach. She let me lean forward so that she could pull it over my head, and pushed me back down quickly as she threw it behind her.

Her smile was mischievous as she sat back down quickly, her eyes burning my skin as they traveled down my chest. I shivered as she raked her nails down my stomach, and traced her fingers around each of my muscles. She slid down my chest a bit more then leaned over and quickly slid her tongue up my stomach as I pulled in a sharp breath. She sat back up, smiling down at me.

"Take off your shirt," I said without thinking. My voice came out a little firm, not being able to control it very well, and I worried that it might have come across wrong. She quickly pulled it over her head though, and dropped it down beside her on the mattress. She let my eyes travel over her slowly, her bra almost the same colour as her shirt, complimenting her skin so perfectly. I still thought her skin seemed to almost glow, the flush in her cheeks making her dark eyes stand out drastically. As my eyes traveled down over her skirt that had risen up her waist, down to her legs, I realized that she wasn't wearing any underwear, and I didn't hide my pleased smile. She closed her eyes. Smiling as my hands traveled up her legs, pushing her skirt up higher before sliding a finger down her center. She hummed happily, and I watched her glowing face as I moved my thumb in slow circles around her. I sat up slowly when she started moving herself against me, undoing my pants and wrapping my hands around her waist. Her eyes pierced inside of me as I slowly lifted her up, and lowered her onto me. Her hands were on my face again, kissing me fiercely as I slowly started to move her on me. When she pulled away to breathe, she leaned her forehead against mine as her fingers slid into my hair. When her grip tightened, my body reacted by speeding up, pulling her down on top of me more quickly, and her breath washed over me as she moaned. The scent drove me over the edge at the same time as her, and we both fell back on the bed. She rolled into my side immediately, and I wrapped an arm around her as her skin burned my side.

"Did you change your soap or something?" I asked, rolling onto my side and inhaling her scent deeply as I trailed the tip of my nose along her throat. The flames tickled at my throat a little more painfully than usual, but I was in complete control. God I couldn't stop smelling her, and she giggled as I trailed my tongue along her pulse.

"Mhmm. Cranberry and orange blossoms, do you not like it?"

"I love it," I told her truthfully. She grinned, and leaned forward to kiss me gently before grabbing her shirt, smiling as she skipped over to the bathroom. She came back out five minutes later, looking painfully perfect, and took my hand as she pulled me along with her to the kitchen. She poured herself a big glass of chocolate milk, draining the entire thing in one go and filling it up again.

"How long before we have to go?" She asked easily. I stared as she bent over, digging for something in the bottom of the fridge. At least she was wearing underwear now, as it was it took me a minute too long to answer, and I looked over at the clock.

"Five minutes," I said, dashing over to the bedroom and grabbing my shirt. When I came back she was leaning her forehead against the fridge, her eyes closed, and there was something intensely sad about the look on her face. I quickly took her beautiful face in my hands and kissed her, and felt her relax. When I pulled away and looked at her she was smiling brightly again.

It was raining out, so we took my car over to the house. Isabella kept her hand on my leg the entire drive, and I held it whenever I wasn't shifting. Her eyes looked a little lost as she stared out at the passing trees.

"What do you miss most about being human?" She asked quietly, still looking out the window. The question surprised me, and I thought about it carefully before answering.

"Sleeping, I think. Being able to dream, and the way it would separate each day." She looked over at me and I smiled. "But I know that if I could dream I would always dream of you, so when I get to lie with you while you sleep and hold you, I think that's even better."

She smiled back at me, and watched me for a long moment before looking out the window. "Would it be okay if we stopped in town on the way back?"

"Of course, what do you want to get?"

"I really want some chocolate ice cream," she said with a smile. She hit the control to open up the garage when we pulled up, and seemed to gravitate to the kitchen as soon as we went inside where Esme was cooking. I went and sat with the others in the living room, and Isabella came over a few minutes later with a stack of cookies and I pulled her into my lap after she gave Alice a hug.

_She smells different,_ Alice thought, afraid to sound rude by saying it aloud.

"New soap," I explained quietly.

_Hmm_. Alice had bought her the new soap, but that was a couple weeks ago.

"She probably just started using it," I mused, and she nodded. Esme made Isabella a big dinner and a pie for desert, and I got pulled into watching a romance movie with Rose, Alice, Esme and her.

I should have taken Emmett's offer to go down to Toronto.

Luckily Isabella seemed as bored as I was, and kept me entertained by drawing invisible pictures on my knee with one of her fingers. So I'm not sure what set her off, but I was in shock when I looked up at her and saw tears swimming in her eyes. They spilt over, and she sniffled as she swiped furiously at them with the sleeve of her shirt.

I'd never seen a movie make her cry before, but didn't say anything because I knew she'd be mortified if one of the others looked over. I just wrapped my arms around her waist, and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her neck. I quickly went through Esme's mind, seeing that she was feeling sad too, to see what had happened, finding out that that the child's beloved dog had died. Why would they want to watch a movie that made them sad? I didn't get it, and I also hadn't realized she had been watching the movie anymore, her eyes were still watching the spot on my knee that she was drawing on. I let go of her with my right hand, and slowly started writing on her leg with one finger. She stopped and watched.

_I love you._

That made her smile, which in turn made me do the same. I always wanted her to smile.

_I love you too._

I wrapped my arm around her again, and gave her a gentle squeeze before kissing her shoulder. She relaxed against me, wrapping her arms around mine with a smile on her face. The movement caught Esme's eye, and she peeked over before smiling happily.

_She loves him so much, I know she'll change her mind._ I closed my eyes, resting my chin on top of Isabella's head, and reverently prayed that she was right. _I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to think that._

_It's okay_, I mouthed, and she sadly looked back at the television.

We left early enough to give us time to get to the grocery store before it closed, and she seemed so excited that it seemed almost deserted. I realized it had been a really long time since we went somewhere besides the family's house or gas stations. I was more than happy to take our time walking slowly up and down the quiet isles, the gentle sound of the radio echoing from the speakers in the ceiling. She got a few pints of different kinds of ice cream with an excited smile.

"Do you remember what your favourite food was?" She asked quietly. There was no need, the only people in the store were two cashiers, someone mopping and someone working on a computer in a small office. I frowned after trying to remember for a moment.

"No, I don't." She nodded and continued to pick out random things as we walked through the store. A bag of chips, chocolate covered pretzels, buns with cheese baked on them, muffins and a few different types of herbs. She never asked Esme for anything specific, and she had been buying her groceries for months now. I paid close attention to the things she picked out herself, wondering if they were just random or if they were things that she really enjoyed. She apparently loved ice cream, and I was going to make sure I let Esme know, or maybe just start coming here at times like this when it's quiet. She seemed to really enjoy it, and I did too. It was just so… normal.

I'd learned to choose my arguments with her wisely, and didn't persist when she wouldn't let me pay. In return she didn't argue with me when I carried the bags for her out to the car.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Uhm, Isabella?"

"Mhmm?" She was looking out the window, a little distracted.

I fidgeted. "Sorry, it's just… you don't normally put that in your cereal."

She looked down at the carton of orange juice in her hand in confusion. Her face turned bright read and she huffed before walking over to the washroom and flushing the contents of the bowl down the toilet, rinsed the bowl out, and poured another bowl. She poured the juice into her cup, then her milk into the cereal before putting the two containers away and sitting next to me. She still seemed half asleep, and it hadn't been easy to wake her up today either.

Not too unusual considering how late we had been up last night. I hadn't been able to leave the house in two days, it was almost painful not to be touching her, and she was _always_ touching me. Even now her foot was hooked around my ankle and her eyes kept flickering at me while she smiled and tried to quickly eat her breakfast. I was just openly gawking at her, and couldn't help leaning in and tracing my nose along her neck as I deeply inhaled her scent. She shivered, and dropped her spoon as she turned around and kissed me quickly. I really didn't want to pull away, but her stomach had been growling loudly and she needed to eat. So I pulled her onto my lap, pinning her back to my chest so I wouldn't be able to kiss her. Her hands were shaking slightly as she continued to eat. I set her down once she finished, and she hesitated before going and washing her dishes. She reached for one of the muffins on the counter, but froze and brought her hand back.

"You should have some more to eat," I said encouragingly. She'd had a really healthy appetite lately, and I wanted her to keep it up. It gave her so much more energy, making her happier and also sleep better.

"I'm going to get fat if I keep this up," she said with a shaky laugh.

"No, you've had a healthy appetite, and you look amazing. You get more and more beautiful every day." Her eyes watered for a moment, and I gave her a slightly worried smile that turned genuine as she picked the muffin up. She put it on a piece of paper towel and we sat down on the couch together. She seemed really fidgety, not looking at the television as usual, but not looking at me either. After ten minutes she took out her yoga mat and rolled in out in the bedroom, and I went upstairs to give her some privacy. She took another shower afterwards, and when I didn't hear her moving around anymore I went downstairs and found her sound asleep on the bed. She was wearing one of my black t-shirts and a pair of light blue denim shorts. The shirt was much too big for her but I loved seeing it on her, and smelling my scent on her. I smiled, and took my book with me as I went and lied down next to her.

. . . . . . . . . .

Six-thirty rolled around and she was still sound asleep. She had a relaxed smile on her face, and hadn't moved much besides stretching her arm out and lightly grasping onto my shirt. I put my book down, and lightly moved her hand before sliding right up next to her. She still didn't stir and I leaned down, resting my forehead against her throat. It was an almost numbing experience, there was nothing but her. No voices, no other scents, just her heat, the sound of her pulse and the vibration of it against my skin, the electricity that never faded coursing through my body. I didn't want to move, not except to lean on her, making sure to support most of my own weight, but leaned into her enough to be able to feel her heartbeat pulsate against my chest.

After a few minutes she lightly lifted her arm, sliding it gently over my shoulder. Her fingers played lightly with the hair at the back of my neck, but she didn't say anything. She just let me hold her, and I was grateful. I never wanted to forget this, and I knew I wouldn't, but my memory would never be able to reproduce her scent filling my lungs, her warmth heating my skin or the electricity coursing through my body. She must have set her alarm before falling asleep, I hadn't heard it in a long time, but it went off at five to seven. I kissed her neck, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away. She smiled brightly at me before rolling away and turning the alarm off, then stretched before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

I turned on the television, sitting back on the couch as I tried to force myself to concentrate on it. She came and sat with me a little while later, a big bowl of pasta on her lap, and my chances of paying attention to the documentary were completely lost. I forced myself to stay still and not touch her though, but could still feel the static coming off of her almost in waves through the three-quarters of an inch gap between our knees. She finished her dinner pretty quickly, and went to wash dishes before coming back. She looked like she was going to sit next to me, but I couldn't bear the thought and quickly took a hold of her waist, and gently pulled her into my lap. She grinned at me, but when I pulled her forward and kissed her, she quickly shoved me away before jumping to her feet and sprinting to the washroom.

I was frozen in shock for a moment before I heard her get sick, and flashed to her side. I knelt down next to her, and she tried to weakly shove me away once but I wasn't going to leave her like this. I swept back her hair, and rubbed soothing circles on her back with the palm of my hand.

It seemed to pass quickly though, and she flushed the toilet once before tearing through the roll of toilet paper, blowing her nose and spitting into the toilet while wiping her mouth and flushing again. Her eyes were closed tightly, a faint sheen a sweat on her forehead and a few tears running down her cheeks. After a moment she stepped away from me, and brushed her teeth before washing her face.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly. That came out of nowhere; she seemed completely fine one minute then not the next.

"Yeah, I think it's passed," she said uncertainly. "I feel fine now. I'm sorry, that was really gross." She did look completely fine, her face was a little flushed and she wore an embarrassed, slightly nervous smile. I sighed, and smiled back at her reassuringly.

"Love, I'm a doctor, you're not going to scare me away with a bit of nausea," I said teasingly. I wrapped an arm around her gently, and put one of my cool hands on her burning face. She relaxed, closing her eyes and leaning into my touch.

"That feels really nice," she whispered, and I smiled before kissing her forehead.

"How about we go sit back down on the couch?" I offered hopefully. She nodded, and I kept a gentle hand on her side as we walked out of the bathroom.

"I'm just going to grab a glass of water," she said, turning out of my hand. I turned her back around.

"I'll get it," I said, leading her back to the couch. I just wanted her to sit down; I didn't trust her calm demeanor completely. I quickly poured a large glass of water, adding a bunch of the little cubes of ice she loved. I paused when I looked at the cupboard that I knew her medication to be in. There was a chance that she hadn't thrown them up, and it just didn't feel safe asking her to take them again. I felt something like a knot in my stomach, but made sure to keep the worry off of my face as I sat back down with her.

She drank it quickly, and an hour later was hungry again and ate a large bowl of grapes while we watched a documentary about sharks. She didn't get sick again, and seemed wide awake after her long nap. Alice and Jasper came over to join us, and the two of them spent most of the night upstairs shopping on the internet.

. . . . . . . . . .

When she got sick again the next morning I started to worry. It was really strange though, because just like yesterday it was brief and she seemed completely fine afterwards. No temperature, blood pressure was normal, no more nausea. All I could do was keep a close eye on her, and try to prepare for whatever I could do. Carlisle helped me get the materials I needed from the hospital and a few other sources, which I set up in the office upstairs in a large filing cabinet and small fridge one night when she was asleep. I didn't want to scare her with them, but I needed to be able to do everything that I could.

_She'll change her mind._

After two days, it became apparent that her blood thinners were making her sick. She'd throw up every meal that she took with them, but would be fine if she ate anything alone. The stress it was causing her was painful to watch, but she never asked me if she could stop taking them. I knew that she would rather the sickness over worrying me, so I had to tell her to stop taking them. She agreed to let me give her an injection, my secret stash not staying hidden nearly as long as I'd hoped, but she got really sick after that. She was nauseous all day with a bad fever, and could barely get out of bed while on the edge of tears the entire day. I couldn't ask her to let me do it a second time. The next day she felt a lot better, and without taking anything she was able to eat three large meals, and I realized that she must have been starving. She was smiling again, her face warm and glowing though she was a little tired. I couldn't figure out why her body was rejecting something like this, but when I saw her get better so quickly I knew that I couldn't keep giving them to her. Carlisle didn't know what to make of it either, because she wasn't actually sick. She was perfect again, radiant, smiling, healthy appetite, sleeping well and had a lot of energy. While she was awake she was constantly keeping me busy, she started doing her yoga again and even invited me to join her, she rarely left my arms, even when we were with the others she was always in my lap, touching me and whispering in my ear. We were all on edge, the fact that she was in even more danger but just seemed so incredibly happy casting dark, deep shadows over each of our minds.

. . . . . . . . . .

"What time do we have to head over?" She asked, walking from the washroom over to the closet in a dark purple towel.

"Five, Esme's making you dinner," I said, keeping my voice even. I refused to upset her with my worry, I wanted her birthday to be a happy day. It was worse than her last birthday, time just moved too fast. The blink of an eye, even though so much had happened. We built a home together, went to school, finding out she was sick, getting married and the perfect summer that followed. So much in so little time.

_She'll change her mind._

I heard her hum happily, and a drawer open and close. "What would you like to do today?"

"I don't know, I was thinking maybe we could go-" I heard her take in a surprised breath, and the sound of a hanger and cloth falling onto the floor. She was silent.

"Isabella?"

Nothing. I could hear her steady breathing and strong heartbeat though. I got up, and cautiously walked over to the closet and peeked my head through the door. She was standing, her back to me, in a dark grey skirt and black bra. "Love, what's wrong?" I asked, walking over to her and placing my hands on her shoulders gently. Her hands were resting over the scar on her stomach. "Is your scar bothering you?"

She looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with tears, but the smile on her face could have blinded someone. "Edward, I think I'm pregnant," she said quietly. I looked at her in confusion for a moment, and she took my hand and placed it on her stomach. There was a very hard, round bump in her abdomen. I didn't usually touch her this firmly on her stomach, always trying to avoid hurting her sensitive scar. Her stomach was noticeably larger than last week. My first thought was another tumour.

Then I felt the tiniest, fluttering pressure against my hand, and froze. My body went cold. I had to have imagined that, this wasn't possible.

"You felt that, right?" She whispered. I was still staring at our hands on her stomach.

Was it impossible? Unheard of yes, but it was very rare that one of my kind would have the sort of relationship I had with a human. There was Tanya and Irina of course, but their bodies were frozen in time, unable to change.

Isabella was. The anatomy of a male vampire still… oh god, what have I done?

"It's going to be okay," I said, as much for my benefit as hers. "We'll get it out of you, you're going to make it past this," I swore, looking back up into her face.

She froze, confusion furrowing her eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"I'll call Carlisle right away, I swear that we can fix this, we'll get that thing out of you."

"Thing?" She said, her eyes blazing furiously. My eyes went wide in surprise, and I took a step back when I felt the static crackle in the air around us. "She's not a _thing_, and you're not going to do anything to her." Her arms went protectively around her stomach as she glared at me.

I watched her, stunned for a minute, and then I saw it flash through her eyes. Fear. Of me. She was afraid I was going to hurt her, she was trying to _protect_ the monster I had put inside of her. This wasn't some normal pregnancy, the thing couldn't be more than four weeks old and it was already moving inside of her. It was obvious that she wanted to protect it. "Isabella, this isn't-"

"I want you to change me."

I froze again, her words echoing in my ears. As I stared at her silently, watching her face closely and trying to believe what she had just said, her tears spilt over and she ran back towards me, gripping onto to front of my shirt tightly as she looked up at me. "Please Edward, I don't want to die. I love you, so much and I'm terrified of leaving you. I don't want to die, but I can't lose her. I can't lose another child, _please_." Her voice came out in shaking sobs, tears streaming quickly down her face.

She was serious, she wanted me to change her.

_She changed her mind_. She wants to stay with me, forever.

But this… we didn't know anything about this, it was unheard of and impossible and dangerous, and she was already sick. I had witnessed her after she lost her last child though, and as I looked down at her crying face, I knew that no matter how strong I knew she was, she would not be able to live through losing another.

If we tried to get it out of her, she would die.

But if I helped her through this, I would have her forever.

"You're serious? You actually want to become like me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

I watched her for a long, pained moment. The choice was already made. She would have the two most qualified doctors on the planet to help her. I had to do this, it was my only chance at keeping her.

"Okay."

**Thanks for reading!**

**The song Belle played in this chapter was "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You," by Led Zeppelin. The cheery tune she was humming was "Here Come the Sun," by the Beatles.**


	31. Chapter Thirty-One: Nock, Draw, Loose

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty-One :: Nock, Draw, Loose**

**Isabella**

"What time do we have to head over?" I asked from the closet, and started sifting through my drawers.

"Five, Esme's making you dinner," he said in his smooth voice. I picked out an extra nice black bra and matching underwear, and slid on a grey skirt. It was a little tight, and I rubbed my hand over my stomach, regretting eating such a big breakfast. "What would you like to do today?" I couldn't help but think that my stomach felt oddly hard, and I looked at myself in the mirror, checking myself in different angles. I was sure that there was a bit of a bump that hadn't been there a few days ago, but it was familiar at the same time.

"I don't know, I was thinking maybe we could go-" I pulled in a sharp breath when I felt an odd fluttering in my stomach.

This was impossible.

It clicked in then; I looked just like I had before my accident, when I was almost three months pregnant. The mood swings, appetite, being so tired… but I had actually had one of my rare periods only a month ago.

And my husband was a vampire. Vampires couldn't have children, their bodies never changed, they couldn't… No, a female vampire didn't ovulate, their bodies couldn't change to accommodate a growing child, but Edward, he was _very _human in that way.

Maybe I just imagined it.

As I rubbed my hand over my stomach again, I felt her move once more, and smiled. I had never gotten to feel Jacob's child move inside me, but I had no doubt in my mind anymore. I was pregnant. I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face as my eyes watered.

Then everything fit perfectly into place. It was her that I had been waiting for, this was what I needed. Of course I would let Edward change me, I would not leave my child motherless. I had lived that life, I wouldn't let her go through that too. I could stay with him forever.

"Love, what's wrong?" I heard Edward ask, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Is your scar bothering you?" I looked up at him, still in shock, but I had no control over my mouth.

"Edward, I think I'm pregnant." He just stared at me, looking at me in confusion. Yes, he hadn't thought this was possible either. I reached out, gently taking his hand and resting it over the firm bump in between my hips. He stared at my stomach with an odd look, still silent, but when I felt her move again his eyes went wide. I smiled brightly at him, but he didn't look at me. He seemed frozen. "You felt that, right?" I tried to be patient, and gave him time to come to the same conclusion that I had.

"It's going to be okay. We'll get it out of you, you're going to make it past this." His voice sounded angry, but his words are what got to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll call Carlisle right away, I swear that we can fix this, we'll get that thing out of you."

"Thing?" Did he just call our child a _thing_? Then I saw it all in his face. He wanted to take her _away_ from me. My anger was overpowering, filling every part of my body. No one was going to hurt her, I'd die before I let that happen. I wrapped my arms protectively around myself. "She's not a _thing_, and you're not going to do anything to her."

I watched his face, and the anger in his eyes started to scare me. I knew Edward, he loved me, he wouldn't hurt me, and take her away by force… would he? Yes, this obviously wasn't a normal pregnancy, but she was just a baby. But if he thought I was in danger, would I really be able to stop him if he tried? "Isabella, this isn't-" No, I _needed_ him to understand, why couldn't he see? I said the only thing that I knew would stand a chance.

"I want you to change me."

He was frozen again, and the tears spilt out of my eyes. He wasn't saying anything. I snapped, running over to him and gripping onto his shirt as I desperately pleaded with him. "Please Edward, I don't want to die. I love you so much and I'm terrified of leaving you. I don't want to die, but I can't lose her. I can't lose another child, _please_." His silence was maddening, and my tears just kept coming harder and harder as he looked down at me. He loved me, I know he didn't change his mind. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him for an eternity, but I couldn't do it unless he agreed to this.

"You're serious? You actually want to become like me?"

"Yes," I told him immediately. He watched me for a couple minutes while I cried and I watched him hopefully.

"Okay."

I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, sobbing into his shirt. He was scared for me, he was only trying to protect me. It was the only reason he had been like this. "Thank you," I choked out, and he wrapped his arms gently around me.

"Have you thought about this Isabella?"

"Every single day, I've been trying to say something for weeks but I was afraid," I looked up at him again, and he swiped away my tears with his thumbs. "This isn't just for her Edward. I want to stay with you, forever. I love you."

"I love you too," he said, and his eyes were so pained that it sent another wracking sob through my body. He took my face in my hands, watching me with his tortured eyes, like he was memorizing my face for the last time.

"This is going to work out, everything is going to be fine," I told him confidently. He leaned down and kissed me firmly, and I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. We stood there for a while, just silently holding each other.

"We need to talk to Carlisle though, will you let us do some tests? Just to try to find out as much as we can and make sure you and the… baby are okay."

I didn't miss his hesitation on using the word baby. I told myself that he just needed more time to come to terms with it.

"Okay," I said nervously. He gave me a small, relieved smile.

"Okay, I'm going to call the house and let them know we're heading over," he said, pulling out his phone. I turned around a little shakily, and picked my dark green blouse up off of the floor. It took me a little while to do up all of the tiny black buttons, I could barely hold on to them.

_Calm down, you're going to freak him out even more_. I dropped my hands to my sides and closed my eyes.

_Deep breath in, 5, hol 5, releas 5._ I did that four more times, resting my hand on my stomach, and my body stopped shaking. I smiled, and fixed my shirt before walking back out to the bathroom again. Edward came in right after me, sitting down on the edge of the tub. The expression on his face gave me the impression that he was eager to leave, so I just braided my wet hair and grabbed my coat and shoes.

He opened my door for me as always, getting into his car, and drove much more quickly than usual on the way over to the house. He didn't say a single word the entire drive, setting my nerves on edge even more as I tried to brace myself to share this news with six more people. Anything said in their house would be heard by everyone.

Edward was just too worried about me to realize how amazing this was. I was fine, and I'm guessing it was her who had been rejecting my medications. I was glad and worried at the same time. Happy because I knew it was very unsafe to take blood thinners while pregnant, and worried that she may still have been hurt from what I did take. Suddenly I was very eager to talk to Carlisle. Edward wasn't making me very inclined to ask him right now. I still just got more and more nervous though as we drove, and as Edward slowed down and the garage door opened, my baby make another little flutter of movement. I smiled again, relaxing as I moved my hand over the spot.

_Everything's going to be fine baby, I love you._

And that made me feel confident. I knew without a doubt that I was doing the right thing. Edward opened my door for me, lending me a hand out of the low seat. He closed the door behind me, and I smiled up at him when he didn't let go of my hand. I hated seeing him so worried, and I had no idea what to do. He brushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear before leaning down and giving me a gentle kiss. He leaned his forehead against mine when his lips pulled away, and didn't open his eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair soothingly.

"Talk to me," I whispered. I needed him to open up to me, I needed his help to be able to get through this and that meant that we needed to communicate.

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you're mad at me for doing this to you, I'm afraid that you're going to get hurt, and I'm terrified that I might lose you." He opened his eyes then, and it felt like I was looking into his soul. The pain in there was suffocating

"I'm not mad at you, I'm thankful and over joyed. And I can feel it Edward, that this is right, and it's going to work out. We're going to make it through this." My confidence seemed to give him strength, and I know that he saw in my eyes that I meant this. I just knew. I tilted my head up and kissed him again, gripping onto his jacket. His lips responded quickly to mine, and as he leaned me back against his car my arms slid around his neck. I twisted my head to the side to gasp for a breath, and his lips were hungry against my neck as his arms slid down my sides, lifting me up. I clung onto his hips with my thighs, and held myself up as his hands moved up my legs, pushing up my skirt even further…

I pushed against him hard when I felt someone coming, and he quickly let go and took a step back, sliding his hand through his hair like he did whenever he was a little frazzled or nervous. I pulled my skirt back down and smoothed out my hair before Esme came in.

"Happy Birthday Sweetie!" She said, flashing to my side with a big smile and giving me a hug. I beamed back at her.

"Thank you," I said back.

"Emmett said that you guys needed me out here?" I laughed, and Edward sighed in annoyance. I made up an excuse quickly.

"Oh, I was going to ask you inside, but would you mind if I borrowed your truck sometime next week?"

"Of course," she said easily, turning to walk me in. Edward was quickly by my side, and I saw his hand twitch to pull me away a couple times. As soon as we were inside, his arm wrapped around my waist, and he gently pulled me away from Esme as Carlisle walked around the corner.

"Edward, what's wrong?" He asked. Edward hesitated.

"Belle! Happy Birthday!" Alice shouted, running over and giving me a tight hug. "You weren't supposed to come over until later, I'm still setting up," she said with a pout. Edward was getting more tense by the second.

"Sorry, it already looks amazing though," I said, taking in all the purple and silver balloons and vases of white lilies. "But we needed to talk to Carlisle, can we go speak in your office?" I asked, and felt Edward relax next to me slightly as I squeezed his hand.

"Of course," he said, his face looking concerned. Esme and Alice looked at me worriedly, and I gave them a happy smile which seemed to relax them. We walked up the stairs and down the long hallway to his office, and after closing the door behind us, he gestured for us to sit down on the small couch across from his desk. Edward kept me close to his side, tucked under his arm. "Is everything okay Isabella? How are you feeling?"

"I feel great Carlisle," I said, then hesitated. I needed to be strong for Edward, I could do this. It shouldn't be this hard to find the words.

"Isabella is pregnant," Edward said in a calm, clear voice. I looked up at him thankfully, and he held onto me a little more firmly before answering Carlisle's thoughts. "With my child. We're fairly certain, we felt the baby move today."

"When was your last menstrual cycle?" He said, quickly going into doctor mode. I know that Edward and he weren't actually blood relatives, but they gave one the impression that they were when they both went into work mode like this together.

"Four weeks ago."

"But it seems like she's developed to the end of a first trimester." Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but Edward cut him off. "No, we're keeping the baby, and then I'm turning Isabella."

I slid my hand onto his thigh and gave him a gentle squeeze as I leaned into him. Carlisle watched us for two long quiet minutes, and Edward watched him as he listened to his thoughts. I saw him give Carlisle one nod before Carlisle spoke.

"Isabella, we would like to take a sample of your blood, do some ultra sounds and take sample of the embryonic fluid as well. Is that okay?"

"How do you do that?"

He hid his unease quickly. "We'd stick a needle in through your abdomen to extract it."

"Will it hurt the baby?" I asked nervously. He gave me a reassuring smile.

"No, it's perfectly safe, but it's going to hurt a little. It should give us some information about the baby though."

"Okay," I said, and Edward stood up before going over to Carlisle's cabinet. He loaded up a tray with different equipment while Carlisle set up this little machine with a screen. I tried not to fidget nervously in my seat while I watched them. I could feel all five of the others standing completely still together in the living room downstairs.

Edward sat down next to me, setting the tray on a small table and picking up an elastic. I held out my arm habitually for him to take, and looked away as he stuck the needle into my elbow. He took two little vials, and once he was done he asked me to lie down on the couch. As soon as I saw the giant needle I shut my eyes tightly. I felt his lips on my forehead and relaxed slightly before he lifted up my shirt and went over a spot on my stomach with an alcohol swab.

"Do you want me to count?"

"No," I answered quickly. I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt the stabbing pain in my stomach, and quickly felt a tear roll out of my eye.

"Shit," I heard him say, and felt another sharp twinge where the needle was. "Are you okay love?"

I nodded. "What happened?"

"The embryonic sack it too hard, the needle couldn't puncture through it and it broke. I'm so sorry, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I told him again, the pain was starting to fade. They had me stay lying down, and Carlisle put some cold, clear jelly on my stomach after I stopped bleeding, his eyes went wide when the baby fluttered again against his hand, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry, she seems pretty energetic today," I said lightly, but it was obvious his smile was forced. I sighed gently, and went quiet again while watching the screen. As he slid the weird handle for the machine over my stomach, all three of us watched the screen intently.

There was a giant, black bubble where I knew my baby to be, and we couldn't see through it. It was just black. Edward and Carlisle's faces went strained for a moment as they watched.

_Baby, you're really not making this easy for your father,_ I thought, watching his face. I wasn't worried about this, I already knew she was special. I was grateful that she was protected inside of me. It was reassuring that she wouldn't… The pain of losing my last child flared to life once again inside of me, but I forced myself to stay calm. I couldn't break down in front of Edward right now, he was scared and I didn't think he could handle anything else.

Carlisle wiped the gel off of my stomach, then started poking and prodding me with his fingers. He hit one spot on my side and I burst out laughing.

"Sorry, ticklish," I said quietly. Finally, a bit of a smile.

"I think it's protected by a wall of something similar to our skin. More pliable, but stronger then metal to be able to break a needle like that." Edward nodded at him, and I couldn't wait any longer to ask my question, and sat up.

"The blood thinners I was taking, could they have hurt her? I read online that they could have side effects on unborn babies." Carlisle gave me another odd look before going back into professional mode.

"Not the type you were taking, It-she," he corrected himself when I glared at him for calling her an it again, "I'm sure she's fine. She seems very… healthy, considering her movement and your own health. I don't have any way to do more tests unless…. Would you mind coming to the hospital so I could take an x-ray?"

I thought about it quickly, and saw that the two of them really needed this. I could survive an hour in the building. "Okay, let's go." They smiled in relief, and Edward took my hand before we went downstairs. The rest of my family was watching me with strained faces, and I smiled reassuringly at them. "We'll be back soon," I told them, and was led into the garage quickly. We got into Carlisle's car, and Edward came and sat in the back seat with me. He hesitated for a moment before tucking me under his arm, and I smiled as I leaned into him.

As soon as we got into the parking lot it hit me like a brick wall, the number of people in there was overwhelming, and my head immediately started throbbing. I could barely hear Edward as he helped me out of the car and asked me if I was okay. I just started walking, but my eyes started to water. I couldn't stop the tears, and I started to sway dizzily before falling into Edward's side. He caught me quickly.

"Isabella? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," I cried, gripping onto my head. "Please, get me out of here, I can't do this," I begged, and I felt him pull me into his arms, and he was walking quickly before he got into the woods and started running. It took a couple minutes for the throbbing to pass, but when I could think again I looked around, and I was on Edward's knee as he knelt in the dirt in the woods. He pulled one of his old-fashioned linen handkerchiefs out of his back pocket, and wiped gently at my face. I was surprised to see blood on the cloth, and wiped at my nose with my finger. Nose bleed. "I'm sorry, I thought I could do it but-"

"It's okay," he said gently. "I shouldn't have tried to bring you in there, and I'm so sorry I did. Carlisle's going to get some machinery to bring to the house, we can do a scan tomorrow. How are you feeling now?

"Good, my headache's almost gone," I told him quietly. I watched him uneasily for a moment. "So what do we do now? The others didn't really seem like they were in a mood for a party anymore," I said guiltily. I knew I was scaring them, hurting them, but they would get over it once they saw how right I was about all of this. I automatically wrapped my arms around my stomach again.

"They want to see you, they're just worried," he told me gently. "But we don't have to go back if you don't want to. Would you like to go home?"

I thought about it for a minute as I watched him. I needed to show them that I really was okay, they needed help through this. My eyes flickered to the bloody cloth he was still holding in one hand though. "Could we just go back so I can clean up before heading back over?" I asked self-consciously. He gave me a reassuring smile. "Of course love." I smiled brightly at him, and he gave me a curious smile. "What?"

"I love it when you call me that," I said, leaning into him. His eyes seemed to darken a little, and he closed his eyes before taking a step back.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, looking down at me guiltily. "But I don't think I can kiss you with blood on your face," he said with a shudder, and I automatically felt guilty.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay, I swear." He turned, and I hesitated slightly before wrapping my arms around him. We were walking into the house in three minutes, and Edward was on his phone again while I jumped in the shower a second time. I shivered slightly under the hot water.

Why was the thought of Edward tasting my blood turning me on? If he hadn't stopped himself I'm certain I would have lost it right there in the woods. Just thinking about it now sent a powerful ripple of pleasure through me. I showered quickly, practically running out of the bathroom in my towel. Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, and watched me as I walked over and stood in between his knees, and he quickly wrapped his arms around me. I practically shook from the closeness alone, and couldn't wait another second as I grabbed his face and kissed him firmly. His lips shot desire through my body, and my towel fell to the floor.

I melted against him as his hold became tighter, and his hands slid all the way down from my shoulder blades to my hips. I started trembling in hopeful anticipation, and leaned into him even more.

Then I was on my back, and his lips and hands were everywhere. I panted and squirmed underneath him as he left tingling kisses all over my body, his hands rubbing over me and playing with my nipples. My body was completely lost to the fire and lightning, I had no other thoughts in the world besides him touching me. Surely it was enough sensation to kill someone, but this sort of pleasure was too intense for heaven or hell.

Edward was my heaven, the only place I could be truly happy. Everything the universe had thrown at me, everything I loved and lost and pushed through, it was all for him. My love for Jacob had been real, he had been my soul mate, my other half. He was the future I should have had as a human.

But now, I know that I wasn't meant to live my life as a human. Edward wasn't my other half, he was so much more than a partner or a soul mate. He was my _mate_. We were separate and made each other stronger. Everything I had suffered through was to make me see how important he really was, so I could truly appreciate him, and I did. I loved him so much, and cherished and was thankful for every day, every moment.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Love," his voice was cheerful, soft, and I smiled as I felt his lips on my throat.

"Hmm?"

"You should wake up, as much as I'd rather keep you naked and to myself all day, I'm pretty sure Esme made you a cake," he said knowingly. My stomach growled at the mention cake, and I opened my eyes sleepily. His glowing face was smiling down at me, and it froze me for a moment. He was just so handsome when he smiled like this, and I felt my eyes quickly water. He gently swiped away at my tears. "What's wrong?"

"I just really love you, it's kind of overwhelming to think about just how much," I whispered, and his smile came back before he kissed me.

"I know the feeling," he said lovingly. I smiled at him again, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again. He let me go, and I went to grab some more clothes. "Uhm…"

I turned around and looked at him "What's wrong?"

"You should probably take another shower before we leave," he said, but quickly continued. "You don't smell bad, you just… smell like me. The others can always tell," he said nervously. My face turned bright red and I laughed. He relaxed, and jumped to his feet. His shirt disappeared. "Here, I'll help," he said, tossing me over his shoulder and making me squeal with laughter as he dashed into the washroom.

Longest shower of my life. I didn't have time to dry my hair again, and threw on a dress quickly and twisted my hair into a bun before Edward scooped me up into his arms to run over. His car was still there.

"Will I still be me, when I become a vampire? Does it change you a lot?" His eyes went wide before he smiled happily.

"You'll still be you, but it will be different. You have so much more room in your mind, so it changes the way you think about things. Personality wise though you're still essentially the same. Your emotions are a lot stronger than a human's, so that can also make things seem different."

"I'm afraid that you might not like me if I change," I admitted to him, making him stop and look down at me in disbelief.

"How could you possibly think that?" I didn't know how to word it properly. Our lives were so oriented around our current lifestyle, how would he feel if I smelt different, looked different, and possibly acted different? If I didn't sleep and didn't eat, and didn't need to be cared for or protected anymore? I closed my eyes and just shook my head, but he tilted up my chin with one of his long fingers. "I thought you said you would never doubt my feelings for you again," he said in a deep, almost stern voice. The sound filled my body with warmth, but I burned when I opened my eyes to look into his. He set me down on my feet, and I couldn't look away from. "Maybe I need to remind you?" He raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously at me. My legs stared to shake slightly. I didn't move as he stalked forward, backing me against a tree, and slid his hands down my sides, feeling my curves. His lips danced along my throat, and I couldn't help leaning my head back and letting out a pleased sigh. His hand went up my back, and slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress. He gently slid it down my shoulders and slowly stared kissing my collarbone while his hands kneaded my breasts. As his mouth traveled over my shoulder, I just became so dizzy that my legs gave out, but Edward caught me and held me up while kissing my neck hungrily. I could barely breathe.

"Isabella, do you really think anything could ever change the way I feel about you?" He asked in a deep voice. He pinched one of my nipples gently.

"No," I gasped.

"Will anything change the way you feel about me?" he asked, tracing the tip of his cold tongue around the slightly sore spot where he had pinched me.

"No," I said, not able to form any words more complicated than that as his fingertips danced teasingly up the inside of my thigh. His mouth was on mine again, and when I wrapped my arms around his neck, he slid the zipper back up my dress. I couldn't help pouting slightly, which made him grin.

"Later," he promised with a smouldering look. "Let's go get some dinner in you," he said, scooping me up in his arms and making it the rest of the way to the house in a minute.

I couldn't get the dazed smile off of my face, and was so lost in my own bliss that I had forgotten what was awaiting us. My mood fell when we walked into the living room, and the other six of our family were watching me with varied expressions. I walked over easily, and once Edward sat down, I perched in his lap and leaned against him.

I gave them all another reassuring smile. "I really am fine guys, you can relax," I said easily. Rose was by my side in a blink, smiling at me.

"What does it feel like?" She asked, and my face went a little red. I knew Rose's story, it had almost been my story. We were similar in a lot of ways, and I knew how badly she had wanted a child.

"Amazing," I whispered. "There aren't any words to describe it really. I never got to feel my last child move and… When I felt her, it was the most amazing thing ever."

"I still can't believe this is possible," Jasper said, holding onto Alice tightly who was still watching me with a tortured expression. It must be hard that she couldn't see me, or have seen this coming. I gave her a small smile that she didn't return. "You'd think if it was we would have heard something, some piece of a story or rumour."

"Well, I was kind of given the impression that a human marrying a vampire was a bit of a rarity," I said easily. It just kind of slipped out; my head was a complete mess. Leaning back against Edward's hard chest with his arm wrapped around my waist wasn't making it any easier to think…

"You're seriously going to let her do this?" Emmett asked angrily, standing up. I just realized then that everyone hadn't been looking at me, it was Edward they had been looking at accusingly. Except for Esme and Rosalie, I knew that they understood, and they were now looking at Emmett in shock.

No, they couldn't blame Edward for this, that wasn't fair. They didn't understand me like Edward did, he knew this was the only way. I went to speak, but was silenced as he wrapped his other arm around me protectively, and looked back at Emmett calmly. I could see the pain in his eyes, they would never know just how hard this was for him. I couldn't deny that this was dangerous, this bump had formed on my stomach in days.

"What would you have me do? Sedate her and take the child away by force? Have her lose another child and have to live with the pain of that for eternity?" He asked him coldly. I paled, but he gave me a reassuring squeeze.

No matter what, Edward would always protect me.

And soon, I would be able to protect him too.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice looked at us, stunned. I don't know why they hadn't come to that conclusion themselves, it seemed like the others had.

"She has the two most skilled doctors on the planet to take care of her, she's going to make it through this," he swore. I couldn't help it, I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly as I buried my face in his neck. He held me, soothingly rubbing one of his large hands slowly up and down my back. The room was silent for a minute.

"I'm sorry," Emmett said in a pained voice. "It's just-"

"We know," Edward said quietly. I didn't need his ability to read Emmett's mind. My big brother loved me, well technically I was older than him now, and he was just scared. I nodded against Edward's shoulder. I didn't want to turn around and let them see the tears on my face. I relaxed my hold on Edward and took one arm down to wipe at my eyes. Once again, he pulled one of those handkerchiefs out of his pocket, and I couldn't help laughing. I did the laundry in our home, where was he keeping all of these? He grinned at me, and kissed me on the forehead.

"Thank you," I whispered quietly. I wished I could show him how much his change in attitude and support meant to me. I could see in his eyes that he understood, and he nodded. I felt a little bit more composed after a minute, and turned to look at the others again. It was hard, seeing the fear in their eyes, but I also saw acceptance, and I knew that for now I at least had the support of Edward and Carlisle, along with Esme and Rose. A flutter of fear went through me when I looked at Rose, and wondered if she would still be against me changing. She had been the only one besides myself opposed to it.

Either way, it didn't matter. I would not leave my baby, and I would not leave Edward. It was all or nothing. It would be painful for her to dislike me though, I loved both of my sisters.

And Alice… she didn't understand yet, but I knew she would come around. She was my best friend, she had saved my life in so many ways. She just needed some time to think through this like the others. I knew soon they would see this for the miracle it was.

I fidgeted in the silence, and Esme was the one to stand up and speak first, appearing by my side. "You must be starving sweetie, let's go over to the kitchen, I made you dinner," she said with a happy smile. I beamed back at her, and took her hand to pull me up as Edward let me go. Rose was by our sides and matched my pace as we walked over to the kitchen. I hopped up onto one of the stools at the high counter, and Esme started putting things in front of me. A pretty lavender coloured napkin with her beautiful silverware and one of her large gold-plated white plates. She set out a glass and stopped at the fridge, smiling at me.

"What would you like to drink? I had gotten you a bottle of wine since you stopped taking your medication, but I doubt you want it now," she said with a grin.

"Do you have any chocolate milk?" I asked hopefully. I just couldn't get enough of it, and was constantly craving it. I smiled when she took out a large un-opened carton, and poured me a big glass. She started taking dishes out of the oven as Rose took the seat next to me.

"So how are you feeling, really? I'm sorry that you just had to deal with that, it must have been stressful and I bet you already have enough as it is." Her eyes were so concerned, and I saw so much love in them. I wanted to ask her about her opinion on me changing, but I wanted to do that alone.

"It's okay, I understand why they're upset of course. I really do feel good though, great even. Since I stopped with the medication I've felt amazing, though my emotions are feeling pretty scattered."

"Hormones," she said with a smile, and we both laughed. It was just so normal, and weird. Esme was smiling too, and started piling baby potatoes, little tiny onions and artfully crafted carrots onto my plate.

"Thank you Rose, and Esme," I whispered quietly. I'm pretty sure the others would have heard anyways.

"For what?" She asked curiously, lowering her voice also.

"Just… for asking. And understanding. It means a lot." I grinned at Rose, "You'll make an awesome aunt," I said happily, and her eyes went wide. In half of a blink I was in her arms, and she was hugging me tightly. She wasn't very big on the idea of hugs, so I felt in foreign territory as I awkwardly patted her back. She seemed to find that funny and laughed before letting me go. Esme was carving a beautiful roast on a big wooden cutting board. "You, on the other hand," I said to Esme, and her face looked hurt for a moment, "Look way too young to be a grandmother." Her pealing laughter filled the kitchen, and the sound warmed my heart.

"How rare do you want your meat?" She asked awkwardly as she came up next to me and set down the cutting board. I paused before saying well done like usual, but as I saw the steam coming out of the bloody center of the roast my mouth watered.

"Very rare," I said, fighting with myself not to grab it with my hands, and let her slide it onto my plate. At the smell of the meat, I felt another little flutter in my stomach, and grabbed Esme's hand and put it there. Her eyes went wide, and then another brilliant smile lit her face.

"Amazing," she breathed, and I smiled back at her.

"I know right?" I said excitedly. "It's like she just realized she can move and doesn't want to stop." I cut into it quickly, and almost moaned as it melted in my mouth. "Esme, this is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten in my life," I told her honesty, digging into my meal. She smiled delightedly, and I ended up having a third helping of the meat. Esme was right, I was starving.

"You think she's a girl?" Rose asked curiously. I didn't realize until then that I had kept referring to her as a she, but it felt right. I knew, just like I knew she was an amazing miracle. I couldn't wait to meet her. I nodded to Rose. As Esme started clearing away my plate, I looked over at the door into the living room worriedly.

"What are they talking about?" I asked them quietly, nodding to the door.

"Emmett, Jasper and Alice are watching TV, and Edward and Carlisle are up in his office going over paperwork to get an x-ray machine and some other equipment," Rose said easily. She was never the type of person to hide something from me.

"Do you think I should maybe leave? Give them some space and time to get used to the idea? I don't want to stress them out," I told them as quietly as I could. They still heard me though, and my three other siblings were suddenly towering over me in the kitchen. I felt Edward quickly come downstairs.

"No, we don't want you to leave," Emmett said.

"We're sorry about the way we reacted, we're just worried about you Belle," Jasper.

"We love you, but we're all going to do our best to support you. Besides, it's your birthday! We can't let all of my decorations go to waste!" She said happily. I smiled at her uncertainly, and she responded by jumping forward and hugging me. "I'm sorry," she whispered more quietly. I hugged her back.

"It's okay, I understand," I told her, and looked at my two brothers to let them know that the same went for them. I looked over at Edward who was leaning in the door way with a worried expression, but when I smiled at him he relaxed again, then went back upstairs.

The six of us went back over to the living room where there was now a pile of gifts on the table, and Esme handed me a big slice of chocolate cake. We sat and watched TV until Edward and Carlisle came down, and then I opened my presents. We stayed until almost one in the morning watching the collector's special edition of Fight Club that Jasper had gotten me, my attention torn between watching it and admiring the black throwing knives Emmett had gotten me, and when we left things felt normal once again as everyone each gave me a hug goodbye. We'd be coming back tomorrow for my x-rays.

I was smiling, still wide awake after my long nap this afternoon, as we drove through the black country roads. Edward's hand was resting on my leg whenever he wasn't shifting gears, and I played with his fingers, marvelling as the tingling buzz traveled between our skin.

"Why do you think this happens?" I asked him curiously, wondering if he had a theory different to mine. It had only gotten stronger over time, and I knew he felt it too. He smiled, lacing his fingers through mine.

"I have no idea. I've never seen it happen to someone before," he said with a smile. "Do you have any theories?" He asked curiously.

"I think our love for each other is so strong that it manifests. Even in the beginning, before I even liked you and thought you were just weird, it was the universe trying to tell me that this was where I was meant to be." My face turned bright red in embarrassment, but I relaxed when he beamed back at me. He lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing my knuckles before he trailed the tip of his nose along my wrist. I bit back my giggle, he'd been sniffing me a lot lately, and I wondered if it had something to do with the pregnancy hormones. Interesting.

"I like your theory," he said, eyes burning. I had to look away out the window of the car.

We were home fairly quickly, and Edward opened my door for me and then went to the trunk to unload my things. I trailed my fingers along the smooth curves of the car, smiling as I admired it for the thousandth time. No matter what, she would always be the most beautiful car in the world to me. I turned around to look at Edward, who was standing in the door way holding my things. I smiled at him, shrugging his coat off of my shoulders and hanging it off of my tool box before leaning back against the hood of his car.

The look he gave me made my heart stutter, and he set my things down before appearing in front of me, stepping in between my legs and pushing me down gently against the hood until I was lying down. I smiled up at him, and closed my eyes as his hands slid firmly over my breasts and down my body, before gripping the hem of my dress and tearing it open.

. . . . . . . . . .

I didn't wake up until almost two in the afternoon. I was a little shaky on my feet, but Edward had been happy to help me in the shower. Unfortunately my legs were even worse afterwards, I could barely stand up, but Edward ran to town to get me dinner while Rose, Esme and Alice came to keep me company for a while. It felt really cold today, even in my jeans and a sweater, so I sat curled up on the couch wrapped in my big quilt. Alice ran back to the house to grab a movie, and I took my opportunity to talk to Rose and Esme while I had the chance.

"There's something important I need to talk to you guys about," I said in a calm voice, causing the two of them to turn around. "You understand why I'm doing this, that I won't be able to live if I lose her, right?" They both nodded sadly. "Alice is my best friend, and I love her, but she doesn't remember what it was like to be human. She'll never fully understand this, but you two do." I pierced them both with my eyes. "I know this in dangerous. She's growing quickly, we don't have much information, and I'm sick. I'm not foolish, and I know that there is a possibility that I won't make it through this." I held up my hand to stop them. "I believe I will, but I need to be prepared. If something happens to me, I need you to protect her. And Edward. Please, I will never ask anything of either of you besides this, I need to know that if something happens to me that someone will be able to care for her like I would. She can't grow up with the life that I had, without a mother." My eyes were watering from the strength of my emotion, but I held the tears at bay. They watched me quietly for a moment.

"We will protect her with our lives, I swear. And we will do everything in our power to take care of Edward too," Esme said sadly. Her voice was strong though. Rose nodded with her, and I closed my eyes, a single tear escaping as I relaxed.

"Thank you."

I swiped away the tear as Alice came back in, and the others went back to normal as I curled back up and watched the leaves blowing on the trees until Edward came back.

I could tell that he immediately picked up on the conversation we had had, quickly sitting down in between Alice and I and pulling me into his arms. I hated to worry him, but I couldn't apologize for this. I had to ask them, they were the most qualified people, the only people I could ask this of.

I still had a big craving for red meat after my dinner yesterday, and he brought me back a big burger with a fancy salad. It was still steaming hot when I opened the box. After I finished eating, Alice told us that Carlisle would be done setting up his new equipment soon, so we headed out and ran over after I pulled on a coat. I clung to Edward's back happily.

"What's it like, running as a vampire?" I asked them curiously. "How do you not run into trees?"

Edward laughed. "It might look fast to you, but for us it's like seeing everything in slow motion. Your mind works much faster."

"Neat," I said with a smile. It would be cool being able to keep up with them on my own two feet. "So am I like, always moving in slow motion around you?"

I saw him grin, "Not really," he said, and didn't explain any further.

His light mood didn't last very long. I was stunned to walk into Carlisle's office and see half of it taken up by this giant machine. They still weren't able to see anything except for the dark shadow. It had been a full body scan too, and my tumour had apparently gotten a little bit bigger. It wasn't much though, Carlisle said objectively. It wasn't growing as quickly as he thought it had been, which meant that I'd had it either longer than he had estimated or its growth had slowed down. Now that I was racing against a clock with a goal, it bothered me much more than before, but I didn't let it show because it had obviously hit Edward worse.

I couldn't really notice any difference, but they told me that there was an obvious one in the growth of my stomach. So they started taking measurements, keeping a perfect mental log of the size of my stomach and my weight. I knew that Edward was already keeping track of what I ate. I wanted to write it down though, and did so on a scrap of paper which I shoved into my pocket. They also took my blood pressure, my temperature and were able to easily hear my heart rate, and couldn't find anything wrong with me. I had a piece of left over chocolate cake with a large glass of milk, and once Edward finished talking with Carlisle I asked him if he wanted to go home. It was obvious that he did, and after talking to the others for a few minutes we ran home.

He didn't let me down when we got to the door, he went up the steps at a human pace, walked through the door, and lowered me on the couch before sitting down next to me. He tracked mud over the shiny, clean hardwood, and I forced myself to ignore it and focus on him. He pulled my legs onto his lap, and slid my boots off before pulling me onto him. He slid off my coat, then wrapped his arms around my waist, and I moved so that I was straddling him and could look him directly in the face. He rested his hands on my hips, and just watched me for a moment. Seeing the pain in his eyes made it hard to breathe.

I leaned up on my knees, taking his face in my hands as I leaned into him. "We don't need to be worried right now Edward. We already knew this was happening, we just didn't have a reason to keep track of it until now. Maybe it's slowed down because my shield hasn't been hurting me anymore, we can do more tests to keep track of it now if you want to, but I'm not worried."

"You would tell me if you weren't feeling well though right? I need to know that you won't hide anything from me, so I have as much of a chance of helping you as possible."

"I swear I will be completely honest with you Edward, but I need you to do the same with me. I don't want you to hide your feelings from me or any bad news, if you're hurting or scared, I want you to talk to me without being worried how it will make me feel."

"I will. I promise." I smiled at him, and leaned up on his shoulders to kiss his forehead. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me while resting his head against my chest. I smiled, and combed my fingers through his hair soothingly, and felt him relax against me a little.

"We've never really talked about having children, for obvious reasons," I said quietly. "How do you feel about the idea of being a father?"

He was quiet for a few minutes, then sat up and looked at me. I didn't have a name for the emotion I saw behind his eyes. "Completely terrified, but thrilled at the same time. I never thought I would be able to… I'm still kind of coming to terms with it, to be honest."

"You shouldn't be scared," I told him with a smile, leaning forward and resting my palms against his chest. "You're going to make an amazing father, I know that with complete certainty." The smile he gave me took my breath away, and it was impossible not to lean in and touch those amazing lips with my own.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Hey Alice, are you able to see the fabric store being deserted any time within the next few days?" I asked hopefully. She smiled and her eyes glazed over as she continued to stare in the direction of the TV. I continued to shovel away the big omelette Esme had made for me. She seemed determined to be my own personal chef after finding out about the pregnancy, and I couldn't bring myself to argue. I loved having her around, and she was a much better cook than I was.

"Today between three and four there will only be two customers, and there's only one person working," She said. "Shopping trip?"

"Yes," I said, and I felt Edward tense slightly, I turned around and smiled at him. "Want to come with us?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiled back quickly, relaxing.

"I'd love to," he said happily, and leaned forward to kiss me. My stomach started to feel queasy and Esme took my plate away as soon as I put it down.

"Would it be safe to take some Tums? My stomach's kind of upset," I asked him. I was trying to stick to my promise of keeping honest with him, because I really wanted him to do the same.

"Sure, I'll grab some for you," he said, lifting me up and setting me down gently on the couch. Ten seconds later he handed me two of the little white tablets, and I enjoyed the taste of mint. Then it mixed wrong with the flavours of eggs, onions and peppers, so I got up to go brush my teeth. As soon as I walked into the washroom, my stomach rolled and I dropped down in front of the toilet. Edward was next to me in a second, and was silent as he held back my hair. It was violent and ended quickly, and after spitting and flushing, I stayed crouched down, breathing heavily while clutching at my stomach. I had pulled harshly at my scar, and it stung painfully. My baby fluttered softly inside of me, and I rubbed over the spot soothingly.

"Shh, it's okay," I murmured.

"Are _you_ okay?" He asked.

"Still a little nauseous, but I don't think I'll be sick again. Just give me a minute." He nodded, and waited while my breathing settled. He gave me a hand up when I was ready, and leaned against the counter beside me while I brushed my teeth twice, flossed, and rinsed with mouth wash before washing my face. I smiled up at him. "Much better. Maybe she's just not a fan of eggs," I said with a bit of a laugh. She fluttered again at the sound, and my smile got bigger. "Noted," I said, looking down at my stomach. Edward laughed, but it sounded uneasy. I looked up at him.

"I know it's normal to have nausea when pregnant, it just worries me to see you sick," he explained, and I smiled at him before nodding. He leaned forward to kiss me gently, but as usual the shock of his touch hit me hard, and I leaned into the kiss. His arms wrapped around me and he gently lifted me up and sat me down on the counter. My breathing became heavier, and as his hand slid under my shirt, the coldness of his hand made me jump a little, and she moved again, making him freeze and pull away. The look of wonder in his eyes was dazzling.

In that moment, I was proud of myself. I was giving this child to him too, she wasn't only mine. I was giving Edward a child, something he had never dreamed he could have.

"Does it hurt when she does that?" Everyone had quickly caught on to my prediction and were going along with it.

"No, it kind of tickles actually, but not as intense." He smiled, and relaxed further. I felt Esme move in the other room, and my face went red. I had forgotten that we weren't alone. Edward caught on, and lifted me up, carrying me over to the living room, kissing my neck and whispering that he loved me in my ear which made me laugh. Alice and Esme's nervous faces relaxed when he sat us down and I tilted my head back far, smiling at their upside down faces.

"Don't worry Esme, it wasn't your cooking. _I_ thought it was delicious," I said happily, and she smiled back at me.

"I have to go into town this afternoon, is there anything you'd like for dinner?" She asked hopefully.

"A big, rare steak," I said, my mouth watering just at the thought. She smiled, and came and sat down next to us.

. . . . . . . . . .

I drifted off in Edward's lap for a little while, but woke up a half hour before we were planning to leave. After getting changed into a pair of jeans, which were pretty tight now, and a purple, white and grey flannel shirt, we headed out in my truck. The three of us fit comfortably onto the bench with plenty of room, Alice and I didn't take up much space.

I got all sorts of things, a light lavender colour and some breezy white fabric to make new curtains for the spare room which I planned on re-decorating as soon as possible. Then I picked out a few dozen different types of soft materials in different shades of purple, pinks, and a bunch of neutral soft colours. I also got some new threads, snaps and buttons, elastics bands and a bunch of other bobbles. Alice gave me some warning before the other customers came in, and I quickly paid for my things before we headed back home. Rose and Emmett were waiting for us at the house, and when we got in Rose, Alice and I squeezed in together on the love seat while I did some shopping on the internet, ignoring Emmett and Edward as they played some loud shooting game on the Xbox.

Our shopping was very productive, and I loved that I could buy pretty much anything online. I picked out a big crib, a bunch of baby clothes, a nice floor rug and a big shelving unit to put up in her room.

Esme took my request very literally, buying me the biggest steak I had ever seen. I came close to eating the entire thing though. I felt a little nauseous afterwards, but didn't get sick again. After the others left, I got changed into some much more comfortable clothes, and lied down in bed with Edward after grabbing a book. He curled up behind me, resting his head on my shoulder and reading along with me.

"So what are you going to do with the fabrics?" He asked curiously, kissing my neck. He always finished the pages before I did, and would distract me while he waited for me to flip the page.

"Some new curtains for her room, and I also want to make a quilt."

"What would you like me to do for her room? I don't want you trying to paint or move things around," he said gently, sliding the strap of my tank top down and kissing my shoulder. I read the same paragraph for the third time, and gave up before turning around in his arms.

"Well, I want everything out of there, so we're going to need to find or make another place for all of those games, and fit my sewing desk upstairs somewhere."

"We could stick your sewing desk in the corner by the window upstairs," he offered. I smiled and nodded.

"And I'd like to paint the room pale blue, and do little puffs of white clouds all over the walls. Ceiling too, so it looks like a big sky," I said happily, picturing it in my mind.

"Not a problem, I'll get Esme to pick up some sample colours for you to look at," he said happily. I smiled, and rubbed my stomach, feeling nauseous again. I rolled onto my back, closing my eyes and hoping for it to pass.

"What's wrong?"

"Ugh, I just feel kind of sick again," I said in annoyance. I started rubbing my hand in circles over my stomach, but it didn't help so I sat up. I waited another moment, and knew it wasn't going to go away, and I quickly dashed over to the bathroom and got sick again. Edward knelt by my side and stayed with me once again. It didn't bother me anymore, having him close gave me strength. It took a while before it passed, but once I felt better and sanitized my mouth again, Edward ran me a warm bubble bath to relax. He smiled brightly when I invited him to join me; it was a very big tub.

. . . . . . . . . .

It turned out that she didn't just dislike eggs, I hadn't been able to keep anything down in two days and it was scaring Edward. I was stressed out from trying to comfort him and irritated because I was starving. I'd always had a bit of a temper when I was hungry though, and tried not to yell at Edward for hovering. He was being so amazing, the best husband ever, and for some reason that was driving me crazy, how perfect he was. I would not let myself snap at him, but I needed some space.

"Would you mind if I took a half hour to myself? I'll just be in the backyard." I shouldn't be asking for permission, and felt myself shaking in frustration just for saying the words. It built up as I waited for his reply, and I think he saw just how hard I was trying right now.

"Okay, just say something if you need anything," he said in a forced casual voice. My anger evaporated, and I gave him a quick kiss before grabbing my bow and going out back. I stopped on the path and looked back at the door. I could still feel Edward in the same spot inside. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath of the cold, crisp air, and relaxed with a smile. I stretched out my arms, my stomach growling loudly, and put my hand over my stomach a little worriedly. My baby hadn't moved for an entire day, and it was really starting to scare me.

After another steadying breath, I pulled an arrow out of my quiver, and aimed at one of my little targets. Emmett had set up all of these little silver plates that hung down at different heights from my trees, all about four inches wide. I aimed and loosed at each of them, changing my patterns to stay out of setting a routine, and went and picked each of them up once I ran out. I was picking up one that had landed close to the edge of the yard by the woods when I heard a twig snap.

My eyes shot up, and about eight feet away, there was a big, fat rabbit chewing on some grass. A gust of wind blew by, and I swear I could actually _smell_ it.

It smelt amazing, making saliva pool in my mouth.

I didn't even think as my hands nocked the bolt and loosed, hitting the rabbit straight threw the neck, and dashed over to it. I ripped the bolt out, my lips clasping around the hole that it's blood was pouring out of, and sucked at it greedily until nothing else came out. My attention was caught by the sound of another cracking twig, my eyes shooting up into the woods again.

There was a small, russet brown wolf staring back at me, his brown eyes so deep that they looked almost human.

_Jacob?_

He watched me for one long moment, before his tongue rolled out of his mouth in something very similar to a grin, and he turned and quickly ran away into the woods. I looked down at my hands, the dead rabbit still clutched in them as its blood ran down my arms.

"Oh god," I said, and burst into tears. I dropped the rabbit on the ground, my bloody hands flying to my face. It smelt so good, and I couldn't stop my tongue from shooting out and licking one of my fingers.

That's where Edward found me seconds later, kneeling in the dirt, crying in front of the dead rabbit and covered in blood. He froze when he saw me, and I started crying even harder, covering my face with my bloody hands. He was quickly kneeling beside me, and I looked up at him in surprise when he started sniffing me.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a strained voice. I realized that he was checking to make sure that none of the blood was mine.

"I don't know what came over me, I smelt him and… I didn't even think about it. It just smelt so good," my voice was lost to my sobbing and he picked me up in his arms and carried me inside. He stopped in the washroom and put me down, and started stripping off my dirty clothes before stepping into the shower with me. I couldn't stop crying.

"How does your stomach feel? Are you nauseous?" He asked in a calm voice. I shook my head and he brought his hand up to wipe the blood off of my face very gently.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, and he tilted my chin up so I had no choice but to look at him.

"There's nothing wrong with you, but… I think the baby's appetite may be more like mine than yours," he said gently. My eyes went wide.

"Do you think that's why I was getting sick then?" He nodded, and that relaxed me a bit. At least I wasn't going crazy.

"How about we try getting you to eat some regular food now, and see if it stays down?"

I nodded. And rubbed my hands over my face, before turning around and rinsing the tears off my cheeks. "I'm sorry that you had to find me like that. It couldn't have been pleasant," I said in a slightly horrified voice. His hands slid around my wet waist though, and I felt his chest against my back as his hands slid up, his fingers dancing around the edges of my breasts.

"I thought I was dreaming for a moment, because it was probably one of the most arousing things I've ever seen," he said in a deep voice, and I couldn't help leaning back into him. As he cupped my breasts, I felt him pressing up against my back, and my hands went behind me and wrapped around his hardness, slowly sliding them down and back up. He held onto me a little more tightly before I felt his tongue slide up my neck. I spun around in his arms, and he quickly lifted me up and kissed me. All of my fear, my embarrassment and my stress evaporated away in an instant as my back was pressed up against the cool glass of the shower wall.

I had a ravenous appetite afterwards, eating two sandwiches, a bowl of strawberries and half a pint of ice cream. Edward kept me up for an hour and a half afterwards, and I didn't have the slightest bit of nausea.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was able to keep down breakfast the next day, but got sick after eating lunch. Carlisle came over shortly afterwards, and Edward explained what had happened yesterday, and his theory.

"And you didn't get sick afterwards?"

"No, I felt great, really, and was able to keep down my dinner, and breakfast this morning."

"How did it taste?"

My face flushed red, and I looked down at my hands in my lap. "Really good."

Edward cupped my face in his hand, and tilted my head up so I would look at him. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about love, your body is just trying to get the nutrients it needs."

"I agree with you Edward, but we'll have to try again and see if it reproduces the same results. I'll have to get-"

"I already have a supply of antibiotics and everything else she might need is she gets sick upstairs," I smiled up at him, he had been preparing himself for a while now in case anything happened to me. "There's also some O negative up stairs, we can try that-"

"Human blood?" He looked at me, his face going a little uneasy as he nodded. "I really don't want to drink human blood," I said, a little bit of fear trickling into my voice, and he took my hands quickly in his. "It seems so… cannibalistic, do you think maybe you could catch me a deer or something? Or I could go out with my bow or-"

"No, if you want to try a deer I'll get that for you," he said reassuringly. "Whatever you're more comfortable with."

My eyes watered, and I quickly threw my arms around him and hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back soothingly until I calmed down again. He was dealing with my moods swings like a champ, and I planned to keep showing him how much it meant to me before I got too big and scared him away.

Oh god, I'm going to get so fat… all of my pants were already getting uncomfortably tight on me, maybe I'll ask Alice to pick me up some comfier clothes that still look nice. I hated wearing sweatpants around all of my ridiculously good looking family members and husband.

Edward went out quickly after they took my daily measurements, and left me in Carlisle's care while he went out hunting for me.

It had been a long time since I had been alone with Carlisle, years actually, and it made me reminiscent of my time in the hospital when I first met the Cullens.

"I'm sorry that I was so mean to you, when I first met you in the hospital," I blurted out, making him look over at me in surprise. He smiled.

"I still can't believe you knew about us, all that time," he said with a laugh. "That couldn't have been easy for you, being trapped in there knowing you were surrounded by a bunch of vampires."

I shrugged. "It wasn't you that I was mad at really, it was just after what Elijah had done to Charlie and Jacob… I knew that you were different, but I was still angry." It was a little easier to talk about them now, after getting a bit of closure and saying a proper goodbye.

"It's okay Isabella. I understand," he said with a smile, and laughed. "I remember you waking up like it happened only seconds ago, it still frightens me remembering the way you glared at me. I swear, no human has ever been able to scare a vampire as well as you can," he said, laughing again. My face went bright red, but I smiled. He looked at me curiously for a moment. "Do you remember the day when you asked me why I became a doctor?"

It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about, but I smiled when I remembered, and nodded. "I didn't see why a vampire would subject himself to the pain of working around so much blood. When you told me why… I couldn't help reading between the lines and guessing what you had really meant. I couldn't say what I wanted to without blowing my cover, but I really liked you, respected and admired you, and really wanted you to know that I thought what you did was amazing. You weren't what I thought a vampire would be like at all, none of you were."

"I felt like I had messed up with you so many times, those words that you said to me that day, you have no idea how much it meant to me hearing them from you. Even then, I looked at you like one of my own daughters." He seemed stunned for a moment when I reached over and hugged him tightly, but it was only a few seconds before he held me back. "And now I'm not only your doctor, but your father as well, and I am going to do everything in my power to help you and Edward through this," he said in a strange voice, and I smiled.

"Thank you Carlisle."

He leaned back, and smiled down at me. "You have brought so much joy into each and every one of our lives Isabella. I'm so glad that we have you now, and that you and Edward found each other. Our family is finally complete." A single tear rolled down my cheek, and he swiped it away gently before kissing my forehead. I leaned against his arm comfortably while we went back to watching the TV, until Edward came back a few minutes later with Emmett, and I felt them go out to the garage. I had no desire to go out and see what they were doing, but told Carlisle I would be fine if he wanted to go out and see them. I had the strange urge to tell him to make sure they didn't get any blood on my Ferrari, but kept my mouth shut. I went and grabbed my bag of fabrics and a pair of scissors, and started cutting my strips for my quilt, my stomach growling loudly. My baby fluttered softly in excitement, and I put a reassuring hand over her.

"Shh, It's okay baby. Daddy's getting us something to eat right now," I said in a soothing voice, smiling down at the bump between my hips. My jeans were just getting too uncomfortable, and I sighed in resignation as I went and changed into a pair of black, stretchy yoga pants. I dropped back onto the couch with my cell phone and texted Alice.

_Hey, I'm getting too fat for my pants, do you think you can find me some things to wear that don't look like sweatpants?_

I would have called, but I didn't want the guys to hear. Alice would never think I was vain. She texted me back a minute later.

_Of course! I'll head out to the stores with Rose first thing in the morning and head over as soon as we're done. You will look magnificent!_

I laughed, and replied with a grateful thank you before Edward came inside, Carlisle on his heels. He was carrying a white plastic cup with a lid and straw. He smiled at me nervously, and sat down next to me while my stomach growled loudly again.

"You're sure you're okay with this?" He asked, watching me closely. I couldn't look away from the cup though, I could smell it.

I had always hated the smell of blood, the scent of rust and salt had always made me feel sick. But this was different though, it smelt like chocolate, white wine and fresh air. I nodded, and he handed me the cup. Carlisle and him watched me intently while I brought the straw to my mouth with a bit of a shake in my hands, and took a tentative sip. I moaned slightly, closing my eyes and taking a deeper pull. It felt like liquid fire, sweet on my tongue and filling my body with warmth. I drained it quickly, gasping slightly when I pulled the straw out of my mouth. Edward took it and set it on the table quickly, then took my face in his hands.

"How do you feel?" He didn't ask how it tasted, it was obvious that I had loved it.

I waited a minute, waiting for the nausea to hit, but nothing happened. "Hungry," I said, and he let out a relieved laugh.

"Esme's coming to cook you dinner, she should be here any minute. Do you want a snack while you wait?"

He brought me over my bag of chocolate covered pretzels, and the two of them watched me carefully while I ate. I didn't get sick though, and they seemed to relax and lighten up instantly. I was quickly bored by the TV, and after giving Edward permission to help, he grabbed another pair of scissors and helped me cut squares of fabric, his coming out much more perfect and identical than mine.

**Thanks for reading!**


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two: Fear

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty-Two :: Fear**

**Edward**

I carried Isabella's empty cup over to the kitchen, washing it out before sitting it on the dish matt to dry. This was her third cup today, she was having one with every meal now. I dashed back to the spare room before she could sneak a glance and got back to work.

It was frightening how big she had gotten so quickly. A week had gone by since we had discovered the child's nutritional needs, but that week might has well have been a month. She wasn't able to effectively hide her baby bump any more.

She had never looked more beautiful though. Her skin still had that stunning, almost glowing quality to it, her hair healthier and shinier, and her scent… there were no words to describe it. It thrilled me and frightened at the same time; she smelt better every day, but I worried that it might start to rival with my self-control. Her breasts had even gotten bigger, and she was so sensitive, it took barely any effort to get her started, or finished for that matter. And her physical appetite seemed to just grow with her stomach.

She had let us do another scan yesterday, to watch her tumour's progress, and there didn't seem to be any change from the last time which was a little comforting. We had to reassure her that the baby would be protected from the radiation, and she wouldn't be human long enough for the radiation to affect her. She would be turned in less than two months at this rate, and agreed that I could change her the moment the baby was safe.

And I needed to keep the baby safe. No matter what it was… If the baby didn't survive, then I knew my wife wouldn't either.

But right now, despite the rapid growth of her abdomen, she was the picture of happiness. She was always smiling so happily, and _singing_. She sang along with the radio, with the record and CD collection that we shared, and sometimes she would just randomly pick up the guitar and start singing to the baby. We couldn't heart a heartbeat yet, but she was sure that the baby could hear her, and she wanted her to know her voice. I didn't mind in the slightest, because I would have rather listen to her voice singing that any other sound in the world.

I had started painting the baby's room with Esme right away, so we could air it out before it got too cold outside. As it was, I kept the fire place burning almost continuously to keep the house warm.

Our days stayed very busy, Isabella had a very large appetite, hadn't dealt with any nausea since she started drinking the blood, and slept like the dead. She hadn't even talked in her sleep this week, despite my best efforts of trying to coax a few words out of her. While we worked on the spare room- nursery, I corrected myself again- Isabella worked on her other projects. She had made a new set of curtains for the nursery first, while taking a break from cutting squares from her quilt. I could hear her on her sewing machine directly above me now, sewing the little squares together.

Esme was over most of the time, along with Alice and Rosalie, and the others stepped in for at least a couple of minutes every day to see her. Esme had been going crazy, desperate to help in some way, but since she hadn't studied medicine before she was determined to help keep Isabella well fed. She had done days of nutritional research and building recipes of things that Isabella would like and also needed. I was thankful for her help, it was an area beyond my reach.

Rose was happily living vicariously through my wife right now. She was close to drowning in jealousy, but couldn't bring herself to actually take out her anger on my wife. She just loved her so much, she had never been able to dislike her. She saw themselves as kindred spirits, because Rose knew she would have done the exact same thing as Isabella in all of her choices. I had appreciated her support for Isabella when we shared the news, and their friendship had grown a lot since then. I don't think she realized just how much Rose appreciated her including her in the experience. She asked her for her opinions on everything from baby clothes to crib styles, and whenever the baby moved when she was next to her she would take her hand and let her feel. Rose's face brightened every time Isabella told her what an amazing aunt she was going to be. She was also honored that she was one of the two people she went to, to ask her to protect her if anything were to happen to her.

"_Just in case",_ she had said._ "It would be irresponsible to not be prepared, but I _am_ going to make it through this Edward."_

I had to trust that she was right. It was my only chance_._

And with that realization and committing to this, something else overwhelming and life altering came into existence. I was going to be a _father_. In some miracle, Isabella had found a way to give me a child, a completely impossible situation in itself. I had given up on that possibility eighty-eight years ago when I was changed. When I was human though…

After my injury in the war, and being sent back home, I finally listened to my father and followed in his footsteps. I was all my family had to carry on the name, and went to law school so I could take over the firm for my father. By that point I had wanted nothing more than to find someone to share my life with, to raise a family and put the bloody memories of the war behind me. My mother stood by my side against my father though, saying that I would marry for love.

And then the flu hit. We lost him, and then I got sick while staying by my mother's side. Once I found out what I had become, I had just given up on that possibility, on both of them actually. But then I met Isabella, and she changed the foundations of my reality.

"Can I come see now?" My wife asked excitedly, and a little impatiently. I grinned.

"Just two more minutes," I said lightly, and heard her sigh. The crib was set up and sitting in the left corner, though it was bare because I knew she would enjoy that more if she could do it herself, along with the full-size wall unit on the right wall. I hung up the curtains she had made, and laid out the large white rug she had gotten in the center of the room, before setting up the large, cushioned leather rocking chair that I had gotten her, setting it close to the window centered on the back wall. I had been trying to keep Isabella distracted with organizing our intense collection of board games on the shelves Emmett had added in the living room last night. She _loved_ organizing things. It sounded like she had already finished though, and I was curious to see how she decided to organize them. I could never quite figure out how her brain worked, but it always fascinated me. I adjusted the curtains slightly and turned on the lamp by the chair to its brightest setting and smiled. Just like Isabella had said, painting the walls and ceiling a sky blue and covering them in scattered, puffy white clouds had a stunning effect. It had been my personal touch to add the invisible, glow in the dark paint, covering the walls in an exact, accurate replica of the map of the constellations. To a human's eyes, you would only be able to see the tiny stars if the lights were off, but even as a vampire they weren't distracting in the light. I dashed over to the door quickly after one more cursory glance, then opened it up. She had been leaning against the door, but I caught her easily in a dip, kissing her and making her laugh.

"Are you done?" She tilted her head back and gasped before I kissed her neck. "Edward! It's beautiful!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and I kissed her again quickly. I pulled her back up straight slowly so I wouldn't make her dizzy, and let her go so she could inspect it. "You did an amazing job, the clouds look so _real._ I love it," she said, running back into my arms and kissing me. I smiled down at her when I gently pulled away, and sat her in the large chair before closing the door. It was already black outside, no moon in the sky. She looked at me curiously, and my grin got bigger.

"Turn off the light," I said excitedly. She smiled at my tone, and leaned over to pull on the lamp's chain.

She gasped, and I easily made my way over to her in the dark. I lifted her into my arms and sat down with her, and she inspected the constellations with a delighted smile. She turned around to look at me with tears in her eyes. Her hormones had been driving her emotions absolutely chaotic the past couple weeks, and I absolutely adored it if I was being completely honest. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who had tried to shut herself away from the world, and hid her every emotion completely behind a practiced, composed mask.

"I love you so much," she whispered happily. "One lifetime wouldn't have been long enough to even comprehend how much."

Hearing her talk about her desire for immortality, not the subject itself but the fact that she wanted it so that she could be with _me_ for eternity, never ceased to fill me with overwhelming joy. I kissed her fiercely, and she responded quickly by wrapping her arms around me tightly. She twisted slightly to face me more, then I felt her stomach move against mine. She gasped in surprise, then laughed as her hand moved over to her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked, putting my hand next to hers.

"I'm fine, it just caught me by surprise. I can't get used to it, it's so strange actually feeling someone move inside of you. That was a pretty big stretch though."

I smiled at her, and she quickly tried to cover a yawn. A peek at my watch quickly told me that it was almost midnight, and I chastised myself for keeping her up so late. I lifted her back up, not needing to turn the light on to navigate my way out of the room, and switched off the light switch for the living room as I carried her over to the bed. She was already wearing a pair of soft, white cotton pyjama pants, and a loose, green silk tank top, so I slid her under the blankets before going back to my side and sliding in next to her. She comfortably shifted into my side as I lifted my arm to tuck her under, and draped one bent leg over my hip.

"So how's your quilt coming along?" I asked quietly. She didn't want me to see it until it was done.

"Pretty good, you helped with the most time-consuming part; cutting up the fabric." One of her arms was curled underneath her, and her other one that was resting on my chest toyed with the fabric of my shirt. She seemed a little restless, and it frustrated me that I couldn't see her face to get a hint at her emotions.

"What's on your mind?" I asked in a gentle tone. She fidgeted against me, and was silent for another minute.

"You've told me before about… the transformation process. What it's like. How long does that last?"

The question caught me off guard, and I was stunned for a moment. She really didn't know much about what it was like to become a vampire. She hadn't really started asking questions until… the past month or two. I couldn't believe how I hadn't caught on, she really had been considering it before we found out she was pregnant. Before then, we had never really had a reason to talk about it. I had to prepare her as much as possible for what she was stepping into, no matter how difficult it was.

"On average, approximately three days," I told her gently. She didn't start crying or look up at me in horror, but just nodded calmly against my chest.

"Can you hear the people around you? Or are you in some sort of coma?"

"No, you can hear, move, and… make noise." I couldn't bring myself to say scream, but she would. The only vampire I had ever met that had stayed quiet throughout the transformation process had been Carlisle.

"Could you talk to me? While it's happening?" She asked in shaky voice. I rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tightly.

"Of course, I won't leave your side for an instant Isabella. Nothing in the world could make me leave you alone through that."

She clutched onto my shirt tightly before whispering into my chest. "Thank you."

I combed my fingers through her hair before tilting her face up to look at me. Even though her voice had been shaking, her face was completely composed. Except for her eyes, I could see a flicker of fear in them, but mostly determination.

"None of us had been able to prepare for the change. Each one of us that Carlisle changed, it had been a quick life or death situation. We're going to try to make you as comfortable as possible, we're hopeful that morphine might lessen the pain."

She nodded, and didn't say anything about her disinclination towards pain medication. This was different. She was watching me with a strange expression, her eyes awake and alert. "There are some other things that we should probably talk about, but it can wait if you'd like?"

"No, it's okay. Tell me. I'd rather know everything sooner than later."

I watched her calm face for a moment before forcing myself to speak. "Well, the… thirst for a vampire is strongest when they're a newborn. It can take a while to adapt to the onslaught of heightened emotions, the enhanced ability of sight, hearing, the smells, the speed and the different perception of time. Newborn vampires are known for being… erratic at first." I watched her closely, but her face remained impassive. I wanted to tell her to let me know how she felt about that, but this would make it easier to get through this. She was strong, I just had to pray that this wouldn't overwhelm her. "In the first year of a newborns life, they're also at their strongest. Their human blood still lingering in their systems makes them extra strong, but that all fades after about a year."

"So, is that the gentle way of saying that for a year I'm going to be crazy and out of control, and trying to kill people all the time? Because I'll want their blood?" Her eyes became pained, but I couldn't deny the question. I quickly tried to run through what we had said around her, but it was impossible to know everything that my family members might have said. "How strong will I be? Will you be able to stop me?" Her breathing started coming quickly, I knew in her state that she wouldn't be able to stay composed like that for long.

"All seven of us will be there to help you Isabella, we won't let you do anything that'd you'd regret, I swear." She calmed slightly in my arms as I started rubbing her back, and I smiled at her. "But you will be stronger than me at first, stronger than Emmett even," I said in an encouraging, light voice.

"Really?" I nodded, and she grinned. "I am so going to challenge him to an arm wrestling match," she said excitedly, and I laughed loudly.

"Just make sure I'm there when you do it, I wouldn't want to miss that," I said through my laughter. Her arms slid up my chest and wrapped around my neck.

"I know for certain you will be. If I'm stronger than you, do you'd really think I'd allow you to leave my side?" She tightened her hold on me purposefully as she smiled.

"I guess I'll just have to make the most out of being the stronger one while I still can," I said with a dark smile, disentangling her hold on me and pinning her wrists with one hand above her head. She smiled, and playfully tried to escape my grasp, wiggling underneath me. I stepped in between her legs, spreading them as I knelt in between them, and leaned in to trail my lips along her throat.

. . . . . . . . . .

Her stomach was growling loudly, but it didn't wake her up. She was sound asleep on her back, spread out like a starfish on the bed. She was tiny though, and I had picked out the biggest bed I could find, so I still had enough space to lay out comfortably on the edge of the bed. I had tried waking her up a couple times, but each time I touched her she scowled adorably and swatted away my hands. I was afraid she might break a finger hitting me, and I didn't want to scare her by shaking her or calling too loudly, so I resigned to just let her sleep. Esme would be over in a bit and could make her a big breakfast, the smell would definitely wake her.

She rolled over to her side, a big grin on her face. I couldn't help mirroring her position and watching her.

"I'll race you," she whispered. I grinned. Was she dreaming about being a vampire? After our talk last night, that thought thrilled me. She couldn't, wouldn't change her mind though.

"Race who?"

"You," she said with a small pout.

"Say my name," I encouraged.

She sighed in frustration. "Say your own damn name," she whispered irritably, and I burst out laughing. I didn't cover my mouth fast enough, and woke her up. I tried to look apologetic when she sleepily glared at me. I needed to right this quick, pissing her off this early in the morning would doom me for the entire day.

"God, you look so beautiful," I told her in a deep voice, leaning in and kissing her quickly. She fell back against the pillows with a smile. Phew.

She rubbed at her eyes before looking at the clock, and moaned. "Why didn't you wake me up?" she mumbled.

"I tried, but you were in ninja mode," I said with a bright smile. She laughed a little, and pushed me aside and she sat up and swung her feet off of the bed. She stood up and rubbed her hands over her small belly with a dazzling grin. After a big stretch, she padded over to the bathroom and closed the door.

I got changed while she was in there, and carried a load of laundry over to the mudroom. I didn't put them in, not wanting to incur her wrath again if I tried to wash her clothes. The thought of her angry scowl made me grin to myself. I heard her start up the shower, and went back to the bedroom to make the bed quickly before lying in it with a book. She came out in her robe a half hour later, her hair in two long wet braids hanging over her shoulders, and grinned on her way to the closet. She came back out quickly, wearing a pair of black tights and a long, dark purple shirt. It had a wide neck that hung around her shoulders, long, skinny sleeves that flared at her wrists, and the torso was loose and billowy, cinched together just under her chest. When she walked, it really made her stomach noticeable, but in a delicate way that was very beautiful. It was noon now, and she habitually walked up to me, holding her arms out while I pulled the tape measure out of my pocket.

I know that Carlisle was her doctor, but I was her husband, and it bothered me letting another man, even a happily married one that was like a father to me, see her body. She was obviously more comfortable with me doing it anyways.

I had never told him that though. He had stepped back easily, and I shared my measurements with him.

She was a whole three-eighths of an inch bigger than yesterday. I lifted her up carefully, easily measuring that she had gained a pound also. Despite how much this scared me, the faster the baby came, the sooner I could change her. She had been writing the measurements down each day too. When I asked her why, all I got was "Because I feel like it." I smiled at her and she leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss before walking out and going to the kitchen. She took out one of the small black glass bottles, pouring it into one of the white cups that we had a large supply of now. I tried not to stare at her as she took a long sip while digging around in the fridge and pulled out a container of strawberries.

My hands balled into tight fists on my lap as I remained where I was. There was an instinctual, almost animalistic part of me that found watching her drink the deer I had hunted for her incredibly arousing.

That was when my mother showed up, and I quickly moved over to the corner of the couch on the other side of the room, sitting down casually as I turned on the television. "Oh sweet heart, let me make you something. You should sit down."

I watched my wife roll her eyes with a smile through Esme's eyes before giving her a hug and popping another strawberry into her mouth.

"I need to stand, I sit too much," she said, with only a hint of frustration. "I wanted to go trim back my gardens before they freeze, want to keep me company?"

"I'd love to, let's just make you something to eat first." She heard Isabella's stomach growl loudly, and she smiled in embarrassment, her cheeks flushing, before having another berry and washing it down with her drink. She finished the cup quickly, and poured herself a glass of chocolate milk.

It was beyond strange.

After Isabella ate a large sandwich and finished off the small container of strawberries, she pulled on a pair of black boots and a thick, long wool sweater, and wrapped a scarf around her neck before the two of them went outside. Esme had already cleaned the kitchen, it was spotless except for a small bowl of fruit on the counter, and Isabella had already started the laundry.

Maybe it should have bothered me that I felt so lost when I wasn't beside her, but it didn't. I took this gladly, thankfully over what my life had been before. Dark, cold, meaningless. Now that I had finished the nursery, I just needed a new hobby. That was all. I got up and went up to the attic, and started looking around. There were a few neatly stacked piles of papers on Isabella's circular reading chair, and I went over to inspect them.

Each of the four piles was a different song, small piles of sheet music. I read the names on top of each of them and smiled as I looked over the notes and provided the tune of each to create the melody in my mind. She had put in some corrections and additions to the printed music, and I quickly agreed with each of them as I compared the melody to the version of the song I had in memory. It still bothered me that for so long I hadn't known what her actual favourite type of music was. But I had really gotten to know more about it as of late. She told me that she really did love classical music, she thought it was beautiful and moving, but she preferred a different kind of sound a little more. She was born a few decades too late for her taste of music, it was often that she got lost in the sounds when listening to Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd, but the majority of her favourites were scattered over different genres and artists, little pieces that touched her in some way.

One of the songs I had never even heard of before, same with the artist, so I went and started up my lap top so I could look them up. The melody of the song was very interesting. As I waited, I heard Isabella's voice travel through the house from the backyard.

"I wonder what I should plant in here next year, since it looks like it would be pointless to grow vegetables." She laughed at her own joke, and Esme couldn't help but smile.

"Are you nervous?" She asked gently. Isabella smiled while she broke down another stalk.

"I'm more nervous about becoming a mother," she said with a small laugh. Then her face took on a more serious, determined expression. "I know Edward will protect me, even if it's from myself. What was it like, for you?"

Esme thought about her answer carefully. She didn't want to stress her out, especially with her pregnancy, but she thought it would be wrong to lie to her. It was happening, soon, and it was better for her to be prepared. "Well, you know how I had jumped off of the cliff, and Carlisle had found me in the morgue. I'm sorry, but it's painful, and once it ended… It was very overwhelming. I hadn't believed in vampires or anything of the sort, and I had just lost my son… It wasn't easy. We stayed out of the public for a few years." She couldn't bring herself to tell Isabella about her slip, when she had accidently gotten too close to the town while hunting as a newborn and killed a man who had been in the woods hunting also. We hadn't been careful enough, but we wouldn't make that mistake with Isabella. Esme watched her face carefully, but Isabella just nodded calmly. She looked like there was something she wanted to say, but stayed silent for a few minutes as they continued to work.

"Edward told me that I would still be… me, if I became a vampire. But can I really be the same person if I'm as crazy as it sounds like I'll be? I have a child! I can't endanger her like that, but I can't leave her either." Her hands went protectively around her abdomen as her eyes welled with tears. Esme pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Esme whispered, stroking her hair. Isabella nodded against her shoulder. "I think you're much stronger than the others give you credit for. I've known you for three years now Isabella, and the things I've seen you do, and what you've gone through… I think you're going to do much better than any of us did. You're so strong, I have no doubt that you will conquer this with amazing finesse. You have something to work for, and we're all going to be here to help you. I just know that everything is going to work out."

Isabella wrapped her arms around Esme, hugging her back tightly. "Thanks, Mom."

Esme's heart broke in two at that moment, hearing Isabella call her that. "I love you so much, Isabella, my precious daughter. We'll protect you, both of you, no matter what."

They sat there, holding each other for a long time. Isabella started to shiver, but she was enjoying the fresh air and didn't want to go inside, so Esme grabbed a warm blanket for her, and wrapped her up on the steps while she finished the garden for her. She seemed deep in thought while Esme worked, but her face looked calm, relieved even. I was thankful for Esme's encouragement to her, but it worried me too. How was I going to protect Isabella if it meant keeping her own child from her? When they came back inside I went and sat down with Isabella on the couch, and she curled up in my lap in front of the warmth of the fire. She still seemed chilly, so I wrapped the throw from the back of the couch around her shoulders, and she kissed my cheek before leaning her head against my chest. She had taken out her braids, and her hair was cascading down her shoulders in thick, soft waves.

We watched the television for about an hour before I realized she had fallen asleep, slumping in my arms. I adjusted her carefully so she'd be more comfortable, and couldn't help smiling as I looked down at her glowing face. I turned around when I heard the shutter of a camera, and Esme was smiling brightly at me.

"You just looked so sweet, I couldn't help it," she said, unashamed. I smiled, looking at the picture in her mind. "How about I watch her, you should go get something to eat," she said, sliding next to me and holding out her arms. My eyes weren't black yet, but they were getting there. With the way Isabella smelt lately, it was better to be safe than sorry. I carefully transferred her over to Esme's arms, kissing her forehead before letting her go.

"Call me, or Carlisle if anything seems wrong," I reminded her, and she smiled at me before nodding. After one last look, I dashed out the door. I needed to bring back another deer for her anyways.

I was stopped by him about a kilometer away from the house. I'm not sure if it was just my own mind taking out it's guilt on me, but I thought his eyes looked accusing today.

"I'm not going to feel guilty about this, it's the right thing to do. Changing her is the only way to keep her alive," I said, forcing confidence into the words. But I remembered the burning as clear as day, and knowing she was going to go through that soon, it was against everything I was to be letting her go through that.

It wasn't just because I wanted her to spend forever with me, but because she didn't even have the option of having a human life and dying of old age anymore. Twenty-one, or even if she had made it to her twenty-second birthday, was too short a life for anyone.

He watched me curiously for a moment before turning around and running into the woods. When I looked down at the ground where the wolf had been standing, there was a dead rabbit lying in the dirt.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Emmett, this is why I didn't want you to help," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"It's fine Edward, the store's still open, we can just go grab another door," Esme said. _Be nice, he's only trying to help out._

"Yeah, I'll grab one right now. My treat, I'll be back in an hour," he said easily, thinking that I was over-reacting. I sighed, and grinned at him before he headed out.

"What was that?" Isabella said, peeking her head down the stairs.

"Emmett was a little too forceful with the door, he just left to get a new one," I explained with a smile. She laughed, and went back upstairs. I didn't want her to be around all of the dust and paint fumes as we installed a new door going from the nursery into the bathroom. I heard her sewing machine start up again and smiled before throwing some more wood into the fireplace. Esme went to start making dinner while she waited, and not wanting to interrupt Isabella's sewing I followed her out of boredom. She smiled at me, and let me cut vegetables with her. I did it at a human pace, making each and every piece the exact same size. When Isabella's machine stopped, she let out a small sigh, and I listened to her walk across the top floor, shuffle about some papers, and start playing her guitar. Esme turned down the sound of the radio, and we both listened to her play with a smile as she started practicing a new song. It made the time seem to move faster until Emmett came back.

Her melody shifted to a different song, and the three of us listened as she played, using her foot on the floor and her knuckles on the guitar to accentuate the music with a beat. She stopped, laughing happily. "Do you like that one?" She asked in a delighted voice. "It's one of my favourites too." The baby must have moved, we guessed. She started playing again as we finished putting up the door, and we sat down in the living room to listen.

"_Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream  
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been  
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen  
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed_

_Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear  
But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear  
Oh, oh._

_Oh, I been flying... mama, there ain't no denyin'  
I've been flying, ain't no denyin', no denyin'_

_All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground  
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land  
Trying to find, trying to find where I've been._

_Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream  
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream  
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon, I will return again  
Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin' through Kashmir._

_Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years  
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear  
Ohh._

_When I'm on, when I'm on my way, yeah  
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah_

_Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when I'm down...  
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well I'm down, so down  
Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you there_

_Let me take you there. Let me take you there…"_

Her notes quieted down as I listened with a smile, but seconds after she stopped singing, I heard her guitar hit the floor as she pulled in a sharp breath. I was by her side in three quarters of a second. She was clutching at her stomach, breathing heavily.

"What happened?" I asked urgently, my hands going to hers on her stomach.

"I'm okay, she just kicked a little hard, that's all." She looked up at me with a strained smile.

"Can I look?" She nodded, and I gently slid up her shirt. She was a bit tender in the spot, but it was right in the middle of her scar so she was always sensitive in that area. It's probably why it hurt her so much. I couldn't find anything wrong, but I was still worried.

"I'm fine," she said, resting a palm on my face and smiling gently at me. I relaxed slightly, and leaned into her touch before she leaned forward and kissed me. "When can I come back downstairs? It's getting boring up here, and you guys sound like you're having fun," she said jealously. She hadn't been pleased with not being permitted to help, I'd had to pry her crowbar out of her hands.

"It should be aired out in another hour," I said with a small frown.

"Can we go for a walk outside or something?" she asked hopefully, and I smiled.

"Of course, I'll go grab your coat," I said with a smile, dashing back downstairs. Emmett and Esme were waiting with worried faces.

"She seems fine, just a little sore spot," I told them, and they smiled in relief.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour and a half," Esme said, flittering back to the kitchen.

"I'm going to go see Rose, but we'll probably be back later tonight," Emmett said, and ran upstairs to say goodbye to Isabella. I grabbed her coat and shoes before joining them, and we went for a nice long walk on the beach.

. . . . . . . . . .

"How does that feel?" I asked, resting my hand against her large stomach. She sighed, still shaking slightly.

"Better," she said, giving me a worried smile. I knew she wasn't worried about the pain, but about me. I tried to put on a braver face, not letting my eyes drift back to her bruise-covered stomach

"I'd like to take you over to the house for an x-ray, will you be okay if I pick you up?"

She nodded, pulling her shirt back down. I lifted her as gently as possible, but her face paled while she shut her eyes tightly.

As her stomach grew, so did the child's strength. This was the third time I had taken her for an x-ray in the last two weeks. Luckily there hadn't been any breaks, yet. But I wasn't so certain that was the case anymore.

The good news though was that I believed her size was indicative that she was into the equivalent of a third trimester. Just a couple more weeks…

Carlisle opened the door for us as we came up the front steps, immediately taking in the ill pallor of Isabella's pained face. That was a bad sign in itself, that the pain was bad enough that she was letting it show in front of someone besides me. I got her upstairs quickly, helping her slip out of her clothes and put on a large t-shirt so her clothing didn't interfere with the image. Her eyes were clenched tightly as I carefully helped her lie back, kissing her forehead before walking over to the monitor to stand with Carlisle.

_When did it happen?_

"About ten minutes ago." I said quietly. We waited as the machine did its scans and loaded up the images. My hands slid into my hair, grasping at it tightly once I saw the break through her rib.

_At least it's a clean break, it hasn't shifted._ He placed his hand on my shoulder_. I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do._

"Just knowing that you're here is a lot Carlisle. Thank you." He squeezed my shoulder before I stood back up. "Do you have anything here? I need to tape up her ribs." He nodded, leading me over to his supply cabinet and started taking things out. I went over and helped Isabella up, sitting her delicately on the bench. Carlisle set down the supplies, and left us alone in his office. She looked at me expectantly.

"One of your ribs is broken, I'm going to have to tape it up so it doesn't shift," I explained. She nodded and held up her shirt for me while I quickly and carefully got to work. "Would you like something for the pain?" I asked, already knowing her answer.

"No thank you."

"It shouldn't hurt her, she's very strong," I said, knowing it was a wasted effort.

"I'm not taking the chance," she said quietly. I nodded.

"I'm going to have to put you on bed rest. No walking around without help, and moving as little as possible." She nodded again. She was just being too damn calm about this, it was driving me mad. Couldn't she see how much danger she was in? Did she even care? My hands balled into tight fists. "Isabella, I need to ask you to reconsider," I pleaded, kneeling down in front of her. She wouldn't look me in the eyes, and I couldn't bring myself to touch her when I was this angry.

"I can't Edward. She's just strong, she doesn't know what she's doing," she said in a calm voice.

"This isn't some little, cute baby Isabella! It's _hurting_ you. We have no idea what it even is. What if it breaks another rib, and it pierces an organ? What if it hits your _spine_? It's going to kill you!"

"No, she won't. She's good Edward."

"You're being foolish to still think that now," I said coldly. The rapid growth was one thing, and then the fetus' need for blood we found as an understandable quality, but now it was beating her up from the inside and breaking her bones. I created a monster that was killing its own mother, my wife.

The expression on her face, it was like I had slapped her. After a moment of staring at me in hurt disbelief, she closed her eyes slowly, taking a deep breath and looking off to the side. Her eyes were completely empty. "I'm sorry you feel that way Edward, but I'm not changing my mind." Her voice was very quiet, and a little detached. I stood up quickly, towering over her angrily, but my body froze, going cold when she flinched.

_Oh god, what was wrong with me?_

I couldn't even think, I just turned and fled. I didn't even look at Rose and Carlisle as I ran past them, through the door and straight into the woods.

I just didn't stop running. The task somehow made it easier to think after it started to relax me. I had no idea what I had intended to do, yell at her again maybe. But how could I have even done that to her? I did understand why she felt she had to protect the thing inside of her, it was a natural reaction really that was intensified by the experience of losing a child before.

If the thing didn't survive, my wife would die of sadness.

If it did live, we'd probably have to destroy it, and then we'd still lose her.

But it was going to kill her before she would have the chance to bear it.

I stopped, falling to my knees in the dirt. I didn't move, not to blink or breathe or even take in anything with my eyes. There was no room for anything besides my pain. I've lost her, and there's nothing I can do. Any day now, any minute really…

How long had I been away from the house? I looked down at the watch that I wasn't wearing, and looked up at the sun, or lack there-of. I was running again before I had even thought of deciding to, following the trail of my own scent. How long had I been running? How could I have left her like that?

It took me just over two hours to get back to the house. I was gone for over four hours. I panicked when I ran back into the big house and didn't hear her heart beat.

"Esme and Carlisle took her home," Emmett said, standing at the bottom of the staircase. He went over the memory in his mind, hearing her ask Carlisle if he could take her home after he asked her where I had went. She told them not to follow me, and that I just needed some time to cool off. Her voice had been almost a whisper, hollow sounding, and the image of her face when Carlisle had carried her down the stairs had been the exact same as when I had ran; empty, cool and detached. I didn't say anything, just turned around to bolt out the door. Emmett's hand caught me though.

"Emmett, I need to get home," I said angrily, but he didn't budge.

"What are you going to say to her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What I'm saying is you're still really heated right now bro, and you shouldn't just run in after something like that. You should think about what you're going to tell her before you see her." I glared at him angrily, but as he tethered me in place I was forced to consider his words. My own realization hit me, and Emmett let go as he saw me thinking once again.

"I don't know what to do anymore Emmett," I told him quietly. I was lost, there were no options left. The others had already come to this conclusion while I was gone.

_There's only one thing you can do bro. Love her, and try to make her happy_, he thought, in a surprisingly gentle tone. He surprised me even more by pulling me into a hug. _I'm sorry._

And then all four of my siblings were there. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were wrapped around me as Jasper filled me with as much love and happiness as he could. All of their minds were silent except for telling me they were sorry, that they loved me, and that they were here for me. They were hurting too; I was losing my wife, and they were losing a sister and friend.

We stayed like that for a long time, but I couldn't bear to be away from her any longer. I looked at Emmett. "I need to go tell her I'm sorry, I have to be with her." He nodded, and they let me run out the door.

I heard her heartbeat when I came close to the house, and Carlisle was waiting for me on the back steps. He stopped me from running inside.

_Isabella is fine, Esme's sitting with her while she takes a bath. Sit down_. I watched his serious expression for a long minute before listening to him, and sat down on the step. He sat next to me, looking at me. _She didn't cry once, and she's barely said a word since you left besides to defend you,_ he thought. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fully keep his disappointment with me out of his mind. I didn't hold it against him, I had already known for a long time that I didn't deserve her_. I know why you did it, none of us could ever fully comprehend the pain that you're going through son, but you also know that this sort of stress is going to make things worse for her._

"I know, it was a mistake. I just sort of snapped, I didn't mean to. But… how am I supposed to do this Carlisle? There aren't any options left."

"I know Edward. I'm so sorry."

I buried my face in my hands, the sound of every beat of Isabella's heart echoing painfully in my ears. Esme helped her out of the tub, re-taped her ribs like Carlisle had shown her, and helped her walk across the room to the closet to show her where her clothes were. There was a mountain of pillows piled up against the headboard, and Esme gently set her back against them. Isabella's face had gone pale again from the movement, but her expression remained completely composed as she wore her easy mask.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" Esme asked her hopefully.

"No, thank you though," she said quietly. Esme helped her pull the blanket up when she flinched reaching for it, and Isabella gave her a small, thankful smile before reaching next to her and pulling the quilt I hadn't seen yet onto her lap. She picked up some thread and a needle, and Esme moved to sit next to her on our large bed.

"I need to talk to her," I said, and Esme heard me easily. She was hesitant on letting me near her, she was obviously in a very fragile mood. Esme hadn't seen her like this since she first met her in the hospital, and it frightened her. "To apologize," I added, and she calmed slightly.

_Would you mind if we stayed?_ Esme thought. I didn't blame them for not wanting to leave her, and I thought it would be better to have Carlisle close by anyways.

"No, of course I don't mind," I said. She relaxed a little bit more, and gave Isabella a kiss on the side of her head before coming out and joining Carlisle on the back steps. She gave me a tight hug before letting me go inside.

Isabella didn't look up at me when I walked in, she didn't halt in the rhythm of her stitching in the slightest. She would have already known that I was outside though. I walked over to the bed, and gently sat down beside her.

"Mind if I look?" I asked quietly. She paused for a moment, then stuck her needle into the fabric before handing it over.

She never let me see things she made before she finished them, and I winced slightly seeing her do so. She still wasn't looking at me. It was a beautiful quilt, and I realized it was the same size as the quilt her mother had made her. Her dedication to the project had a bit more meaning now. It was a completely different style though. The different shades of fabric blended together in soft waves going diagonally across the blanket, whites, greys, pale blues and lavender with hints of an almost silver silk. That's what the boarder was done in also, that silver silk, but the underside was a thick, soft, white cotton. The entire thing looked finished, it was just the center she was working on. The biggest square in the quilt, done in the same white cotton as the underside. She was embroidering on it. It read; "Elizabeth Alice Cullen," each name on its own line in silver thread. She had been making little stars with the silver thread when I came in, her needle sticking beside a half-finished one.

"Elizabeth," I whispered, immediately remembering her say the name in her sleep, just two weeks before she found out she was pregnant.

"Both of our mothers' names, I thought it was fitting," she said quietly, speaking for the first time.

"I'm sorry Isabella, the way I acted was horrible. I know why you have to do this, I understand, but I'm terrified of losing you."

"It's okay. I understand why you did it," she said. She cringed when she reached over for the quilt, and I handed it back again quickly. Her breathing was slightly heavier than usual as she started working on her star again quietly. She was silent once again.

"It's a beautiful quilt," I said, trying to coax some normality back into the room.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"What will you do if she's a boy?" Nothing, she'll be dead, and it won't be either because it's a monster.

"She won't be," she said easily.

"How do you know?"

"You're a doctor, I doubt you'd believe me if I told you," she said. She cut her thread, and started putting her things back into her sewing box that was sitting between us.

"You've just made me even more curious," I told her, trying to put my smile in my voice. It wasn't too effective, and her empty expression was really starting to scare me.

"Can you bring me the small wooden box on my dresser?" She asked. She winced again when I sat back down on the bed too heavily with it.

"Sorry-" She cut me off by waving off the apology as unnecessary. She opened the soft, old wood box carefully, taking out a rectangle square wrapped in deep blue silk, a white satin bag that sounded like it had marbles or stones in it, and a few little bobbles. A carved white candle, a silver pocket mirror, a small string bag with dried herbs in it. Lastly she pulled out a tiny box, like a ring box but even smaller. She set it down and started putting the other things back inside. She opened the little box, and pulled out a delicate silver chain that had a carved, amethyst pendant on the end of it. It looked like an up-side-down tear drop. She wrapped the chain around her middle finger on her right hand, gathering the rest of it up in her palm before raising it over her left hand and dropping the length of it. I watched her curiously as she watched the pendant swing over her hand and spin in a circle.

"If it swings up and down, that means it's a girl. If it swings back and forth, from side to side, then it's a boy," she said. She did the same thing once more, and I spared a look as it bounced on its chain, swung from her stomach out, back, and swung in another circle before she gathered it up and put it away.

"Seriously?"

"My mother said it worked for me," she said with a shrug, and closed the box before handing it to me.

"What is this? I thought it was just a decoration, I've never seen you open it before." It was a really pretty box, antique, probably older than I was with soft, stained wood and artistic joints. A perfect cube.

"I never really had before, it was my mother's. I had a really weird dream a week or so ago, where I was doing it, and when I woke up I decided to give it a try. Before it was just a feeling, but now I'm sure."

"Magic?" I said, unable to keep the smile off of my face. "Really?"

"I've only been on this planet for twenty-one years, and I've already met shape shifters and vampires. You yourself as one, a _telepathic_ vampire, can't completely reject the possibility of magic, can you?" Her tone was calm, yet serious. She wasn't joking, she believed in what she was saying one hundred percent, and that really surprised me. I couldn't really disagree with what she was saying though, and she seemed to realize that after a minute and smiled.

Seeing that smile, it was like I had been being held under water and was finally given the chance to breathe. How many chances would I have left to see that smile?

"That's what I thought," she said knowingly, and started trying to fold the blanket.

"You're aware that this blanket is much too large for a baby, right?" _Please keep smiling_.

She grinned. "We'll, it appears my child may grow into it quite quickly," she said with a laugh. Her face paled from the movement. She let me take the quilt from her and fold it. I set it along with the sewing box on her large nightstand, before gently sitting back down next to her.

"I really am sorry Isabella, I wish I could take back what I had said today. I swear that will never happen again, I won't leave you no matter what," I told her. I needed to make sure we were okay, I didn't want her to slip back into her mask. She went quiet again, looking down. "Please say something. Get mad at me, yell at me or something. This isn't you, I don't want you to hide away from me."

She looked up at me evenly, but it didn't really look like there was any anger in there. "I'm not going to get mad at you Edward, because although you were an ass, you're that way because you love me, and you're scared for me. And soon, you're going to see that you were wrong, and then I'll forgive you and move past this. She is so good, I can feel it and it's something that you'll never really be able to understand. I would rather die than let someone hurt her, I won't give her up."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm going to love you no matter what Edward. I'm not going to get mad at you for this, because soon this will all be behind us." She gave me a small smile, and didn't pull away when I slowly leaned in to kiss her. Her cool hand came up and rested on my face. I pulled away quickly.

"Isabella, you're freezing," I exclaimed. Her face looked a little flushed.

"I'm fine, do you think you could grab me another blanket though?" I quickly grabbed the winter comforter, covering her in the heavy down. She closed her eyes with a small smile.

"Are you going to be able to sleep like this? It's better for your ribs if you're kept elevated a little," I told her.

"Yes, it's very comfortable," she said quietly. In another minute she was out. I took her temperature and blood pressure, both slightly elevated, and grabbed the space heater out of the garage, plugging it in beside the bed before going out and talking to Carlisle.

"I think she's starting to develop a fever, I'll have to keep a close eye on her. Would you guys like to stay?" I didn't want to be alone through this, I was terrified.

"Of course," Esme said, pulling me back inside. Carlisle followed after and closed the door behind him, and threw some more wood on the fire. "You can go sit with her, we know where everything is," she said, kissing my cheek and going to sit beside Carlisle. He was texting on his phone, telling the others what was going on.

I went and sat back down next to my sleeping wife, staying a painful distance away from her so I wouldn't make her cold. Her flushed face was completely relaxed in her sleep, and I prayed that this would pass quickly. What if this was it? If it got bad enough…

No, I wasn't going to go down that road. Instead, I made myself think about what I _could_ do. Yes, the child had grown strong enough to break her bones, but if one of the breaks did put her at risk, maybe I could treat it if I reacted quickly enough. We could fit the scanner upstairs if I pushed the desks against the back wall, we could sterilize the room, and set up a surgical station to be ready at a moment's notice. I'm sure that I could get Carlisle to spend more time over here, but if not he could be here in two minutes if he ran quickly enough. If she's too sick to eat in the morning, I already have everything I need to put her on an IV drip, I have her blood type in stock upstairs if she needs it, I have antibiotics too if this fever gets any worse.

And that gave me a sliver of hope. I quickly told everything to Carlisle, and he set out immediately to start getting things ready for me. There was traffic in and out of the house all night, Esme keeping a close eye on Isabella while we set up a small hospital in my attic. We ended up taking everything out of the office and moving it into the garage, Alice moving our cars over to the house to make room for everything.

Isabella's fever peaked around two in the morning, then quickly burned off. She woke up around nine, not long after we finished setting up. Her face was a little flushed, but her temperature was back down to normal. After a quick shower she said she felt great, and was smiling at the crowd in the room around her as she sat in bed and ate a big breakfast that Esme made her. My renewed determination brought a feeling of relief and hope to my family.

We weren't going to give her up without a fight.

Isabella acted like nothing had happened yesterday. She was glowing and smiling, only faltering now and then when she moved her torso the wrong way. We had a fairly large bedroom, but it was a little cramped with eight people stuffed into it. Isabella was sandwiched between Alice and I on our bed, Carlisle and Esme lounging on the love seat they had slid in from the living room, Jasper on the chair in the corner of the room, and Rosalie was curled up on Emmett's lap in my reading chair they had brought in. They kept a light, easy conversation the entire day while Isabella was stuck in bed and worked on her quilt. It was obvious by the glint in her eyes that she was going crazy being stuck in this room, but she didn't say a word.

. . . . . . . . . .

The next day it broke another one of her ribs. It was a bigger break, but another clean one thankfully. Emmett moved the television into the room, and we continued to sit and wait with my wife while she continued to refuse to take anything for the pain.

. . . . . . . . . .

"I think it should be safe for the child to be delivered in three more days, if we're going by the size of her stomach," I told Carlisle. We went upstairs to speak after I took her measurements.

"I'm doubting a scalpel is going to be able to penetrate the membrane," he said. I nodded.

"If we're right in saying it's similar to our own skin, then our teeth will be the only way to break through," I said coldly. He had already come to that conclusion also, and just nodded.

"Have you told Isabella about this?"

"No. We're going to put her under, remove it, and then I'll inject her with my venom. She won't witness any of it." He nodded again, agreeing that it was the best route to take.

"And what if it's…" A monster? An abomination? I provided in my own mind when he couldn't find the words.

"We'll deal with that when it happens," I said in a cold voice. I couldn't deal with anything else at the moment. Knowing I was going to have to destroy the thing my wife was dying to protect… How was I going to tell her when she finished the change?

"Yes, for now we just need to concentrate on keeping Isabella safe. We don't have to worry about that now." After a strained sigh, I went back downstairs and curled up with my sleeping wife. When she woke up, we told her about our plans, and she hesitantly agreed.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Only two more days Elizabeth, Mommy can't wait to meet you," she said sweetly to her huge stomach, rubbing soothing circles around it. She didn't care that it didn't have a heartbeat, thoughts or emotions. That Alice couldn't see it, or that it was strong enough to break he bones. She had the happiest, most excited smile while I watched her painfully.

She was never going to forgive me for this.

I was going to change her anyways though. Even though we'd have to kill it before she would be able to see it, she'd have to understand that we had no choice.

"Hey Alice, want to give me a hand over to the bathroom?"

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately, sitting up in panic.

"I have to pee. God, try to be discreet around here…" she mumbled, making Rose laugh loudly. Alice expertly maneuvered Isabella out of the bed, she had a lot of practice doing this before when my wife was much smaller.

"Can I ask you a question?" Alice asked quietly, leaning next to Isabella while she washed her hands, then her face, brushed her hair, anything to avoid going back into the bed pretty much.

"Shoot."

"I saw the name, on the blanket…" I saw her smile brightly, and look over at her.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all, I'm honored really, but why?"

She turned around, leaning back against the counter and stretching carefully. "If it wasn't for you Alice, I wouldn't be here right now. Not only did you save me from the accident, but afterwards… All I really wanted was to fade away, I didn't care and didn't want to exist anymore. You were by my side every day, you became my friend, my sister, you helped me heal to the point where I decided that I needed to keep going. You stayed for me, you saved my life Alice, and in turn you saved hers. I wouldn't have even met my wonderful husband if you hadn't decided to stay. I'm always going to be grateful for that, in this life and my next one." Alice gave her a careful hug, her heart shattering in simultaneous joy and pain. "We should go back, I'm sure that _wonderful husband_ of mine is timing me. Aren't you?" she said, smiling into Alice's eyes right at me. She grinned as she heard me laugh from the next room.

I smiled at her as she walked back into the bedroom. Alice's hand was close beside her, but she didn't see what I saw from my angle. Isabella's eyes seemed to glaze over before her face went slack, and tumbled to the floor. I caught her at the same time as Alice did.

"Isabella!" I shouted. She didn't stir, and when I opened her eyes one of them was red with blood. _No, we were so close_. "Carlisle!" I shouted, lifting her up and getting her to the table upstairs in a quarter of a second. No, I wasn't going to lose her. Her heart was already slowing down.

I didn't hesitate. I leaned forward, and bit into her neck, injecting her with my venom.

Carlisle was there in the next second, looking at me in horror. "Keep her heart beating," I ordered, and he automatically moved and started doing compressions on her chest. I ripped open my filing cabinet, taking out the large silver syringe, and he moved aside as I injected more of my venom directly into her heart. He resumed immediately, watching me as I stopped at her stomach. I could clearly see the thing beating away inside of her. I had to know for her first. I cut through with the scalpel first, then quickly leaned forward, cutting open the opalesque membrane with my teeth. I pulled out the writhing form from inside her, and froze.

I was hit by so much at once. Her fast, fluttering heart beat I hadn't been able to hear through her solid protection, the heat of her skin, her rapid breathing, her fear, confusion, her blurry, indistinct thoughts.

But most of all her eyes. Warm, chocolate-brown eyes the exact same as her mother's.

"Elizabeth," I whispered, disbelieving. She smiled up at me with a full set of perfect, white teeth.

"Rose! Get up here!" I said, seeing the image of Isabella on the table behind me through my daughter's confused, terrified eyes. She lifted her tiny arm, reaching towards her. She knew who Isabella was, she wanted _her_, she didn't know who I was. _Mommy._

"Mommy's going to be fine, but Daddy has to help her. I'm Daddy. Aunt Rose is going to take care of you," Rose was by my side, staring at Elizabeth in wonder, and I quickly handed her over. Her piercing cry rang through the house as Rose carried her away. Carlisle was doing CPR between chest compressions.

_Her body hasn't shut down yet, that's a good sign. The venoms moving, but I'm afraid if we don't keep assisting it_... I quickly set up the respirator, and Carlisle grabbed the morphine and injected her quickly, not missing a beat before taking over for me while I took over doing chest compressions. I bit her, again and again trying to get as much venom into her as I could, and prayed to every god I had ever heard of that I hadn't been too late.

. . . . . . . . . .

Fourteen hours. That's how long it took before the venom made her body strong enough to survive on its own. Her heart had stopped twice, but I was fast enough that I barely let her skip one beat. She was not going to die on me. After that time her heartbeat and lungs were strong enough for me to remove the respirator. By that time the stitches in her stomach had already healed and fallen out. I watched her carefully for two hours after that, ready to jump in and help keep her going at a seconds notice.

She still hadn't moved, but I was certain my venom was working. The morphine was now almost completely burned out of her system, and the dose we had given her would have prevented her from being able to move regardless. Her veins had sealed shut though so we couldn't give her any more.

I never stopped talking to her. I had no idea if she could hear me, but on the off chance she could, I would do whatever I could to distract her from the pain while I waited for her to move.

The only thing that broke into my thoughts was the occasional sound of my daughter crying. She was overwhelmed and terrified, and wanted to go back to her mother. The others had their hands full with her downstairs, and I hadn't been able to pay attention to why that was until now. I asked Carlisle to excuse me while I cleaned Isabella up, washing the blood off of her, and lying her down on a clean chaise lounge after I slid her into a simple white cotton dress. Carlisle and Emmett cleaned up and got rid of the blood and hospital bed, and then I asked them to bring my daughter upstairs.

"Edward, I don't know if you saw but-"

"I did," I said, holding out my hands and taking Elizabeth out of Rose's arms. She had washed her up, and she was wearing a light lavender coloured onesie, and was swaddled in a soft white blanket. She calmed slightly when she was in my arms again, but her attention was focused solely on her mother.

_Mommy?_

"I don't think she can hear you Elizabeth, Mommy's sick, but she'll be better soon. She loves you so much, and she can't wait to meet you."

Isabella's voice drifted back to me, distorted and slightly hollow sounding. _"Only two more days Elizabeth, Mommy can't wait to meet you."_

"Yes, that was her," I told her. Isabella was right.

God, Isabella was right. Not only that the baby could hear her, but that she was just this defenseless baby inside her that didn't know her own strength. She told me I would see that she was right, and she had been.

She looked at me worriedly, her brow furrowing just like her mother's did when she was upset. She was like a mirror image of her mother, Isabella had shown me pictures of her when she had been a baby.

_Daddy?_ She thought, looking at me in confusion.

"Yes, that's me," I said with an encouraging smile.

_Edward?_

I grinned. "Edward is my name, but I'm your father. Or Daddy. That means you're half me, half Mommy." God this was not an easy thing to explain. She was obviously very mentally advanced though. The three different words blended into the same thing in her mind, and I nodded in approval. She went through the images of the others in her mind. There had been so many people, and none of them were "Mommy." It was scary and confusing. She wanted to be with Isabella, she just knew that she was the one whose voice she had heard, the one that always talked to her, laughed, and sang.

"You're right, that is her," I told her.

But she was okay being with me, if I was "Daddy." She knew that name, Mommy said it a lot. _"It's okay baby, Daddy's just worried right now. He loves us, he'll be back soon." "Don't worry, Daddy's gone out to get us something to eat." "When I first met your Daddy, I thought he was stalking me. Crazy vampire stalker, that's all I needed. But I fell for him anyway. You'll see, you're going to love him so much, just like he loves you."_

I was stunned, hearing all of that through her memories. Little conversations Isabella had hidden from me. I smiled. "She was right of course, I love you Elizabeth." I leaned forward, pressing my lips softly against her forehead. Her scent reminded me of Isabella's, just much softer, and also similar to my own. When I leaned back, she was giving me a dazzling smile. She didn't put words to the feeling, but I could see in her mind that she loved me too. Her eyes went back to Isabella though, and she waited expectantly for her to move. I could feel her throwing her mental voice at her mother, but I don't know if Isabella would have been able to hear it through her shield, or even if her brain had healed enough from the aneurysm to be able to hear. She wasn't moving besides the shallow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

_Please Isabella, please be okay,_ I prayed. Being able to watch her mother continued to calm her, and as her memories flitted around in her mind, the feeling of being so safe and warm inside of her, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Wow, how did you do it?" Rosalie asked jealously. "I couldn't get her to stop crying unless I was feeding her, and even then she was just shouting out for Isabella in her mind."

"Being close to her helped, I think," I said, smiling down as my daughter slept in my arms. "She was terrified and confused, I would be too, coming into the world like that and being taken away by a bunch of people she doesn't know. She's incredibly intelligent, she remembers Isabella talking to her about me, so I think she's deemed me trustworthy," I said with a grin. I looked back up at Isabella, who was still motionless.

"How's she doing?"

"I don't know. We had to force her heart and lungs to keep going for so long, and the aneurysm… She hasn't moved. It's been sixteen hours. You remember the pain, it's impossible to stay this still through it."

"Maybe the morphine is working?" Rose said hopefully. I shook my head.

"The venom's already burned it all off," I said. I hoped Carlisle got back from his hunt soon.

I would wait to hunt with Isabella. I wasn't going to break my promise to her. I carefully got up, and perched on the edge of the chaise next to her without jostling Elizabeth. "You were right of course, she's perfect," I told her. Rose smiled sadly at me and went back downstairs, leaving us alone. "And she wants to meet you so badly. Can your hear me Isabella? Can you move a finger, or flutter your eyes?" I watched hopefully, but she remained perfectly still. "I love you, I love you so much. Please don't leave me." I lied down carefully next to her, holding our daughter between us, and watched and waited while the two of them slept next to each other.

. . . . . . . . . .

By the time morning came around, Isabella's stomach had completely healed, all of the swelling from her pregnancy gone. I decided then to move her down to the bedroom, wanting her to wake up in a more comfortable, familiar room. The entire family could fit in there too. When Elizabeth woke up, after I fed her breakfast, I introduced her properly to the family. It had been hilarious, seeing her reaction to the baby formula Carlisle tried to feed her. Her tiny face was just so animated. He had tried to give it to her in one of the stainless steel bottles we were using to continue feeding her the deer blood, Isabella's orders. She had looked up at him in disbelieving horror, before angrily throwing it at him and leaving a dent in the wall.

She had her mother's temper too.

I was starting to panic. Neither one of us could figure out why she wasn't moving. Even after forty-eight hours she hadn't twitched a finger. But her heart beat was strong. Alice still couldn't see her, or our daughter for that matter, and Jasper couldn't read her emotions.

I watched as she begun to change. All of her little scars disappeared, along with her scattered freckles and beauty marks as her skin began to crystalize. Her hair seemed to darken slightly, making it's millions of colours even more vibrant in my eyes. It was thick and shiny, straightening out slightly as any little imperfections like spilt ends vanished. Her face became slightly more angular, her baby weight melting off of her. Her lips became darker as her skin grew paler, and she seemed to look a little older. She had always been the image of perfection in my eyes, but as my venom burned through and changed every cell in her body, her beauty became a little intimidating. Her broken bones inside of her healed.

Her scent never changed though. I had watched Esme, Rosalie, and then Emmett go through the change, and all of their scents had changed by this point in their transformations. No one said anything, but that thought was in all of their minds.

And still she did not stir. I didn't break my promise to her, I was always talking to her, or talking to Elizabeth next to her. Elizabeth wasn't calm unless she was in the same room with us, crying every time Rose tried to take her away.

Then the seventy-two hour mark passed us, and I truly began to worry. It was obvious that the venom was changing her, but she should have woken up by now, especially considering the amount of venom I got into her. My entire family, _our _entire family, stayed and waited with us. I held Isabella's hand tightly in my own, begging her to come back to me over and over again. _We did something wrong, for some reason it isn't working_. For a moment I had even deluded myself into thinking that she squeezed my hand back. Carlisle assured me over and over again that she was going to be fine, even though he really didn't believe the words.

Esme was the only one to believe him. She was completely certain that Isabella was going to be fine, that she just needed some extra time because she was special. There was nothing normal about her, and this wouldn't be an exception.

It was at the Eighty-two hour mark that we finally witnessed a change. Her heart had started to speed up, the heat fading from her fingertips. The signal that she was close to the end.

"I think you should take Elizabeth to the house," I told them begrudgingly. I saw Isabella's finger twitch, I know I did. "The smell might be too hard for her. I'll call you after I take her hunting."

Elizabeth caught onto this quickly, begging that she didn't want to leave. She wanted to be here when she woke up.

"I know sweetheart, but Mommy's going to be very confused when she wakes up. This is safest for Mommy, you want that, right?"

She looked up at me, pouting with those big green eyes. She had a long internal debate, but nodded eventually. After I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, she reached up automatically for Rose who smiled brightly.

"Elizabeth, they're going to take you to a new place, but we'll see you soon, alright?" After discerning that she understood, I gave her a wave, and she waved back by clenching her tiny fist.

"Should we stay with you?" Emmett asked, eyeing Isabella warily. I debated for a quick second as her heart rate kept climbing.

"Yes, I think that would be best. We should be fine with just the three of us."

He nodded, and the two of them stood back by the doorway, waiting quietly.

_She has to wake up, she has to. Please have worked._

Her heart was racing so fast now that it reminded me of a helicopter, almost drowning into one note before stuttering. It beat again, and then made one last hollow thud before the house went completely silent.

The air shimmered strangely, seeming to roll out in a wave across the room in all directions. The three of us shivered from the weird sensation as it passed through us, and disappeared through the walls.

Isabella sat up, more quickly than I could see the movement, and clutched at her head with her hands while letting out a low hiss. I reached out to touch her, only to have my hand shocked away, and in the same instant she was on the other side of the room, staring back at me with horrified, glowing brown eyes.

**Thank you for reading! **

**The song Edward doesn't know, and the one Isabella is practicing this chapter is "The Tide," by The Spill Canvas.**

**The song she sings is "All of my Love," by Led Zeppelin.**


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three: Right

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty-Three :: Right**

**Isabella**

There was nothing in the blackness. No thoughts, no feeling. Everything just stopped, it I was like I didn't really exist anymore.

Until I did. It was their names that drifted back to me, echoing around in the nothingness, that gave me some sort of _being_ again.

_Elizabeth. Edward._

No, I couldn't be dead. I couldn't leave them. Edward needed me, and I had never even gotten to meet my daughter. I needed to go back, there was no choice in the matter. I knew Edward would be doing anything that he could to keep my heart beating, to change me. We were going to spend the rest of forever together.

_Elizabeth. Edward. Elizabeth. Edward. _

I floated through the blackness searching for them, for something, _anything_ that could bring me back to them. I myself was nothing, just a thought carried by a wind that didn't exist through complete darkness.

I didn't see a light, but after some immeasurable amount of time I thought I was beginning to feel one. A tiny bit of warmth. I clung to it with everything in my consciousness. Or at least I thought I did. It grew warmer and warmer, hotter and hotter. Much, much too hot. Burning, scalding, obliterating heat. It was instinctual to want to drop it, but the heat was holding me, like the gravity that held me to the earth. It filled every cell of my body, burning away at every piece of me.

I had a body, I could feel it now. Though soon there would be nothing left. The burning became more than heat, this wasn't fire. I had burnt myself before, but compared to this it had been a dip in a cool body of water. I had been thrown down stairs, lived through two fatal car crashes, punched, slapped, broken legs, arms, ribs, concussions, surgeries, none of those compared to this, they didn't count as pain.

But as the heat kept growing and growing, I realized it wasn't the _worst_ pain I had ever felt.

I had had my soul ripped into two before, and this was not nearly as painful. But unlike I had when I felt Jacob die, I didn't pass out from the pain. There was no escaping this.

There was a point to this pain though.

_Elizabeth. Edward._

They were waiting for me; I was doing this for them.

There was something wrong though. I couldn't move, I couldn't even find my voice to scream. My breathing felt odd, unnatural, like my body wasn't in control of it. This didn't feel real, it couldn't be real, I was inside my body but I was completely detached from it. There was no way I could just invent this sort of pain in my mind though. This isn't what Edward said it would be like. The answer formed just as quickly as the question.

The morphine.

It did nothing for the pain of course, all it did was trap me in my own body as I burned alive. At least I hoped I was still alive, death shouldn't be so painful. Or maybe this was my punishment, to burn for eternity for all the pain I've caused to the lives mine has touched. That was the definition of hell, wasn't it?

_Please Edward, don't let me die._

There was nothing to do, but wait in my silent prison and burn.

. . . . . . . . . .

I'm not sure if it was seconds or minutes, hours or days, but eventually something started to change. Other senses started to come along with the burning. I could hear, and that's when I knew that I wasn't really dead. Edward was talking to me, whispering my name, telling me that he loved me. He told me I was going to be okay, that he would spend the rest of eternity keeping my heart beating with his own two hands if he had to. No matter what he wouldn't let me die, and that Elizabeth was okay.

Yes, Edward wouldn't let anything happen to me. He would always protect me. Listening to his voice made my prison easier to bear. He promised he would talk to me, and although I hated that he would have to sit through this with me, I was glad in knowing that he wouldn't break that promise. I wished I could feel him, but the fire washed out all physical sensation. I couldn't even feel him in my mind, the brightness of the flames overpowering the glowing of his spark.

. . . . . . . . . . .

"Rose, you can bring Elizabeth back upstairs now," he said quietly.

Elizabeth. She must be so scared. _It's okay baby, Mommy's going to come back for you, I swear._

"Edward, I don't know if you saw but-" Rosalie's voice. She swore she would protect her for me. _Thank you Rose._

"I did," he said. _Saw what? What did he see?_

"I don't think she can hear you Elizabeth, Mommy's sick, but she'll be better soon. She loves you so much, and she can't wait to meet you."

_Thank you Edward. I'm so sorry Elizabeth, I love you so much._

"Yes, that was her." It sounded like he was having a conversation with her. Could he read her thoughts? What was she asking? What was her mind like? What does she _look_ like? The invisible prison had slipped away, but I held myself still in the flames. I knew if I tried to move in any way, I would lose control and scream. I couldn't let Elizabeth see that, or Edward. I was doing this for them, I had to protect them.

"Yes, that's me." He sounded amused, and I could picture his crooked grin easily in my mind. "Edward is my name, but I'm your father. Or Daddy. That means you're half me, half Mommy." This had to be the most entertaining half conversation ever, but I was extremely jealous as I listened to my husband talk to and teach our daughter while I was trapped. I was so close, yet so far. "You're right, that is her." I wish I knew what she was telling him, I wish I could read her mind too. "She was right of course, I love you Elizabeth." The sound of love in his voice was enthralling. I knew he would love her, he had just been too worried to see it.

They were silent for a long time, and the lack of distraction made the pain so much worse. _Please keep talking! Don't leave me in this silence! _I shouted in my mind.

"Wow, how did you do it? I couldn't get her to stop crying unless I was feeding her, and even then she was just shouting out for Isabella in her mind. Esme was the only one who could calm her down." Elizabeth had been crying? She was shouting out in her mind for me? What did that mean?

"Being close to her helped, I think. She was terrified and confused, I would be too, coming into the world like that and being taken away by a bunch of people she doesn't know. She's incredibly intelligent, she remembers Isabella talking to her about me, so I think she's deemed me trustworthy." I could hear his smile once again.

"How's she doing?"

"I don't know. We had to force her heart and lungs to keep going for so long, and the aneurysm… She hasn't moved. It's been sixteen hours. You remember the pain, it's impossible to stay this still through it."

It's only been sixteen hours? It feels like months.

"Maybe the morphine is working?"

"The venom's already burned it all off." The fear in his voice had me wavering on my decision to stay silent for them, but I knew his pain now would be nothing compared to if I started screaming. His voice seemed closer when he spoke again. "You were right of course, she's perfect. I should have known better than to doubt you, and I'm so sorry. She wants to meet you so badly. Can your hear me Isabella? Can you move a finger, or flutter your eyes?"

_I'm sorry Edward, but I'm doing this for your own good. _

"I love you, I love you so much. Please don't leave me."

_Never, I will never leave you Edward. I love you too._

And so it continued.

For years I burnt on my own pyre, silently and unmoving. The invisible flames licked away and incinerated my body. There was no way to protect my shell from it, so I gave it to the flames. It could have my body, drown me in the pain, but I wouldn't give it my life. There was a piece of my mind that everything in my soul fought to protect. Like a shield of ice and energy my soul encased that little piece, and the flames burnt around it. In that little bubble I was divided into four pieces.

Elizabeth. My daughter, who I listened to grow and live with my family beside me as I burned. She was still as much a part of me as when she was inside of me. I would never let her go, I would have to die before that happened.

Edward. My feelings for him weren't just love and friendship. Edward was my mate. The universe had been working to bring me to him my entire life. He had waited over a century for me; he was mine, and only mine, and always would be. I was never meant to live a human life; it was by his side that I'd been made to belong.

The love I lost before Edward. Jacob, our child, Charlie, my pack, my mother, they were all wrapped together into one feeling of love. They built me, everything that they were, keeping me alive until I could live on my own, making me the person that I was each in their own way. They _were_ me.

And then there was a piece I had no name for. I knew it, but I didn't. It was me, but it was a separate thing than who I was. It was everything that I knew and so much that I didn't. It had been with me all this time, I knew it, but I hadn't been able to see it properly until now.

My mind was changing. There hadn't been enough room in my head before to be able to gain enough perspective on that piece of me, but now there was so, so much more space. I had enough room now to be able to see these things, and still had more than enough room for the engulfing flames and listening to my surroundings.

It was a different type of pain in itself, hearing what was happening around me. I could hear so much more, able to tell the different weight and time of the steps of my different family members as they moved about around me, when I had never even been able to hear their footsteps before. I could hear each one of them as they breathed, which made it easier to tell where ever Elizabeth was. Her breathing was the closest to human, but was paired with a heartbeat that was not. It fluttered quickly and softly like the wings of a humming bird. I could hear each of them wherever they talked, anywhere in our house or property, maybe further. I could hear the rain on the house, the water on the beach, the wind blowing through the dry leaves over the sound of the television. None of that mattered though, as I listened to my family, happy and getting to be with my daughter while I fought with everything that I had to keep from hurting them with witnessing the torturous pain I was going through. She was so close to me, I could even smell her gentle fragrance, yet I couldn't reach out and touch her, look at her or talk to her. Every time she cried, it was like the intensity of the flames magnified, and it washed out every other thought.

But still, I could feel nothing but the flames. After a time this odd itch started in my throat, but it was barely noticeable over the fire.

. . . . . . . . . .

Eventually, time really had ceased to have meaning, the invisible inferno that had consumed me changed. The flames got impossibly hotter in my heart, which had started beating frantically. At the same time I felt the fire recede from my fingertips and toes.

"I think you should take Elizabeth to the house. The smell might be too hard for her. I'll call you after I take her hunting."

_No! She smells fine! I swear I won't hurt her, please don't take her away!_ My composure finally cracked, and one of my blissfully cool fingers twitched.

"I know sweet heart, but Mommy's going to be very confused when she wakes up. This is safest for Mommy, you want that, right?"

_She doesn't want to leave me either!_ I knew if I tried to protest I would just start screaming. I couldn't while Elizabeth was here. I heard Edward give her a kiss, making me hate him even more.

"Elizabeth, they're going to take you to a new place, but we'll see you soon, alright?"

_Elizabeth… _

"Should we stay with you?" Emmett's voice this time.

"Yes, I think that would be best. We should be fine with just the three of us." _No, you won't be. I'm-_

My thoughts were cut off as my heart sped up even faster, like the blades of a helicopter threatening to rip my heart straight out of my chest. It seemed to be pulling the fire out of every vein in my body, throwing it all into one concentrated spot. I heard my heart stutter loudly, painfully, pause, and let out one last hollow thud before everything went silent.

The fire was gone, and my mind automatically dropped the wall it had put up to protect itself. I clutched at my head from the onslaught of sensation that I felt when my shield went out around me. It was too much for even my new, spacious mind to comprehend, and I hissed at the weight of the billions of burning lights in my mind. It faded away in seconds, leaving me with only the three brilliant, multi-coloured flames in the room with me. I didn't have time to analyze them now though, as the closest one reached for me. The sharp jolt from his touch, and the crackle of energy in the air startled me. Before I had decided to move, I was standing on the other side of the room, as far away from them as I could be as I opened my new eyes for the first time.

The details, the clarity, it was staggering. I could see the individual grains in the paint of the walls, the different fibers of each thread in the fabric of the bed spread, the particles of dust that moved through the air. God, was my house always this dirty?

All of that went through my mind in an eighth of a second, it was the image of my husband that held my attention now. I had always thought that Edward was handsome, but I had never seen him before now. My human eyes hadn't been able to see the incredible perfection of his skin, the thousands of stunning colours in his hair, or the complete symmetry of his face.

My attention was pulled away once more by a gentle, fluttering pressure against my mind. When my glaze flickered over to my brothers, who were standing in the wide doorway, my body automatically shifted into a defensive crouch. Part of my mind was distracted by the way my body moved, there seemed to be no time in the movements what-so-ever. I was mostly concentrating on Jasper though, the scars that seemed to cover his body screaming _danger_ to me. His eyes went wide when I looked at him. They were all looking, no, staring at me like that. None of them moved, and I knew Jasper wouldn't actually attack me unless I gave him a reason to, so I tried to stand back up slowly.

I caught sight of myself then, looking down at the plain white cotton dress I was wearing. Edward must have put me in this, there was no way Alice would have chosen this in this season. I slid my hands over my arms, inspecting the curious texture of my skin. I didn't feel cold, but I knew I no longer had a heartbeat.

_I was a vampire_. I looked over at my frozen husband, and smiled at him. He seemed to relax, but only slightly. "Thank you," I told him, kind of distracted by the unfamiliar sound of my voice. He looked at me curiously. "_You saved me_."

He walked over to me slowly, cautiously, and I didn't move because I was still worried about the way Emmett and Jasper were watching me. It was Edward who_ I _watched though. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly, to wrap my arms around him, but I was a little frightened by the way my body moved. So I just watched his graceful movements while my smile turned slightly nervous. He stopped in front of me, and when my arms automatically reached out for him Jasper took a step towards us, and my hands snapped back to my sides as I backed up against the window. The glass cracked slightly and I flinched, stepping to the right of it. I felt Jasper's ability brush against my shield again.

_My shield_. I could feel it so completely. I took the three seconds that Edward used to glare at Jasper to analyze it. It felt like I was covered in different invisible layers; more of a cloud instead of a bubble. I could feel how far away the largest layer was from me, and like it was any other muscle in my body, I flexed it easily, pushing it out further before bringing it in close to myself. When it was pulled back into my mind completely, their bright lights disappeared from my mind. I dropped my mental hold on it, and it flew back out to where it had been before.

_Cool._

I could actually _control_ it. I wouldn't have to hide from anymore crowds, no more migraines. No tumour. I wasn't dying, I was actually going to get to stay with Edward, forever.

He saved me, us. He saved all three of us.

When he looked back at me, so close, towering over me, I couldn't restrain myself any longer. The pull was too strong. Once again my body moved too fast. He didn't have time to realize what I was doing as my hands shot out, easily pulling his face down to mine, and kissed him. I barely paid attention to the crackle of energy in the air. It was immediate and all-consuming, the powerful wave of electricity that filled me, and so was Edward's reaction. His hands roughly grabbed onto my waist, lifting me up and pushing me up against the wall with enough force to crack the drywall. He wasn't pushing me away from him though, his body was pinned heavily against mine, and he was kissing me back hungrily, almost urgently. His scent hit me hard, I could taste it on my lips; honey, sunshine, lilacs and the smell of a new book. All of my favourite things wrapped into one; Edward.

Elizabeth.

It was like a bucket of ice water being thrown at me. I pulled away from him quickly, and he didn't relax his hold on me in the slightest as I looked up at him with desperate, pleading eyes. "I need to see Elizabeth."

He looked at me with a concerned expression for three seconds before speaking, "I'm sorry Love, but it's not safe. She has a beating heart, and her scent-"

"She smells fine, I won't hurt her. _Please_," I begged.

"You can smell her in here?" His tone was a little confused.

"She was just next to me a few minutes ago! I've been listening to all of you for what feels like years while I… Please, I _need_ her Edward." I felt like I should be crying, but no tears came to my eyes and the pain just built up inside of me. I regretted telling him that instantly when I saw the hurt in his eyes, but Edward and I didn't lie to each other.

My frustration peaked, the emotional turmoil that was my mind was disorienting. We were wasting time, and I had waited long enough to see my daughter. The fact that Edward and my brothers were trying to stand in my way enraged me, and now I was certain that they wouldn't be able to stop me as I felt through the complex layers of the cloud around me.

Edward's hurt eyes turned shocked when I pushed him away, landing easily on my feet as I glared at him accusingly. "I tried to be nice about it, but you can't stop me from seeing my daughter." I didn't even look to see his reaction, turning around and facing my brothers as I spun around him faster than he could register. "I don't want to hurt you, get out of my way," I ordered. Jasper straightened up determinedly, but Emmett looked rightfully apprehensive. I watched Jasper evenly for three long seconds, and as soon as I took a step forward he had my right arm twisted behind my back. I felt his attempt to influence me against my mind again. My vision went almost red in my anger, but I really didn't want to hurt my brother. "I won't warn you again Jasper," I hissed angrily.

"_Let go of her_," Edward hissed in an even darker tone. Jasper's grip had tightened on my arm though as he flinched, and even Edward's defensive words hadn't been able to distract me. Jasper's strength felt like nothing. In a quarter of a second I had been able to easily un-twist my arm and use his own grip on me to flip him over my shoulder and onto his back in front of me. His moment of shock was minimal, but when he went to get back up I threw out the almost solid-feeling layer around my mind, and pinned him against my floor with it while I glared down at him. I felt Emmett hit the bubble around me as he tried to grab me and was knocked back.

"_I warned you_, and now you owe me a new floor," I growled. It was perfectly silent for a whole second, before Emmett's booming laughter filled the room. Everyone turned to glare at him, still on his ass on the floor where he had landed.

"What?" He asked as we all stared at him disbelievingly. "That was funny!"

I sighed, not being able to help a small smile for my brother. I gave Jasper one more meaningful look before releasing him, and in the same moment Edward laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. The depth of the emotions in his eyes froze me in place, and I didn't move as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm fine here guys, why don't you wait for us back at the house?"

"Edward, you can't-"

"Come on Jasper, we couldn't stop her if we tried," Emmett said easily, pulling on his arm. "We'll see you guys in a bit," he said with a wave, and then they were gone. Edward kept me thoroughly distracted though by taking my face in his large hands very firmly as he towered over me. He was still looking at me with that deep, intense look in his eyes.

"Isabella, I know how overwhelming it is in the beginning. It's very distracting with all of the extra room in your mind and having such heightened senses and emotions. I assure you that Elizabeth is completely safe, but I know that you would never hurt her. Right now I really need to talk to you though, I know it's going to be really hard, but can I please ask you to wait just a little longer?"

His words were very reasonable, and true. This wasn't only hard for me, Edward was suffering. I felt horrible for only now realizing what he must have gone through. I needed to make sure he was okay. He was worried for a moment when I stepped away from him, but I sat down on our bed in another oddly fast movement, and he visibly relaxed when I smiled up at him. He was sitting next to me in half of a second, smiling brightly when I slid into his lap before wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I'm so sorry for what I put you through Edward, I know it must have been horrible. Are you okay?"

"I am now," he said quietly, leaning in and inhaling my scent deeply before kissing me. It was a minute before I could let him go, his lips just felt so good... "I was so worried that it hadn't worked, you were so still... How much do you remember?"

"I was walking back into the room with Alice then… there was nothing, just blackness for a while, until the fire started." I paused and tried to move my hand slowly as I combed my fingers through his hair. It was even messier than usual, and I loved it. "After a while, I started to hear your voice, talking to me, but I couldn't move. Even when the morphine wore off though, I knew you were worried, but I knew it would be worse if I started screaming. I knew for certain that if I tried to move I would start screaming. I couldn't do that to you, to Elizabeth. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I just can't believe you did that for me," he whispered, taking my face in his hands again.

"I love you Edward, I'd do anything for you," I told him simply.

"I love you too, more than anything in the world." I smiled at him happily, and there was an almost curious look in his eyes.

"What?"

He seemed to have a little trouble deciding on his words. "There's something… _different_ about you Love. You're much too calm, your thirst should be driving you insane right now." He watched me for a moment, but I didn't say anything. It really wasn't bothering me. "It also took you much longer to complete the change than any of us had ever heard of before."

"How long?"

"Almost eighty-three hours." I just nodded. It felt more like eighty-three years.

"What else?" It was obvious in his eyes that there_ was_ something.

He took a deep breath, making me realize that I hadn't really been breathing, just inhaling his scent every so often. It was strange, how comfortable I was with the lack of oxygen. "There was something that I forgot to tell you… before. You know that our eyes are yellow because of our diet, but it takes a few months for the animal blood to do that. Our eyes were all red in the beginning, like other vampires."

"No," I whispered, shaking my head and pulling away from him. This was why I didn't want to do this, I was a monster, just like Elijah... How could I face my daughter with blood-coloured eyes? I hadn't realized that I was standing until Edward drew my attention again, forcing me to look up at him.

"Your eyes aren't red Isabella," he told me quickly. "They're still a beautiful shade of brown, and that is completely unheard of."

"Really?" I asked hopefully. He smiled, and led me over to the floor-length mirror in our closet.

I froze when I looked into the eyes of my refection. Yes, my eyes were still brown, but they were different. Brighter, glowing almost, and it made that slash of yellow-gold stand out vividly. There was a bit of red, tiny little flecks of it, but it was nothing like the red eyes of a vampire that I had seen before.

_I_ looked different. I still looked like me, but… all traces of my pregnancy were gone, except for the size of my breasts maybe. My face was slightly more angular, my lips were darker, my lashes thicker, and all of my little freckles and beauty marks were gone. My hair looked awesome, thick and shiny, a little bit darker, and flowed down past my waist in soft waves that curled at the ends.

"I didn't think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful," Edward said with a smile, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around me. I smiled back at him, but it didn't reach my eyes. His hands on my empty stomach made her absence even more painful.

"Can we see Elizabeth now?"

"The others don't know you as well as I do, it might make it easier if we went hunting first." I noticed immediately that he hadn't said no, he was giving me a choice. I didn't want to make another scene, especially in front of Elizabeth. So I made the smart decision, and nodded. Besides, it was obvious that he needed to hunt.

"Just give me a second to change," I said easily, spinning around to face my dresser. The handle on the drawer crumbled to dust in my hand, and I jumped back in surprise. I glared at Edward when he laughed, walking forward and opening up the drawer for me.

"It takes a little practice," he said casually, leaning against the wall.

"Do you plan on watching?" I spat, still a little irritated.

"I was hoping to," he said with that charming, crooked grin and sparkling eyes. I couldn't help a small smile as I flipped through my drawer, sliding on some underwear and a pair of grey jeans. I pinched the small silver button as gently as I possibly could, managing to only warp it and not actually crush it. I considered that a win, and smiled triumphantly. I felt his eyes burning into my skin as I pulled the dress over my head, and took my time sliding on a black t-shirt. I froze when my hand brushed over my stomach.

My completely smooth stomach.

I pulled my shirt back up, and ran my fingers over the place where my scar used to be. It was completely gone. It had been ugly, but it had been all I had left of my first child. It felt like I had lost him all over again, and just like my other heightened emotions my sadness felt so much stronger in this new body, but there was still no outlet for it. I just froze underneath the weight of it. I didn't need to breathe or blink, or even have a beating heart to interrupt the silence. I didn't even move when Edward wrapped his arms around me and told me how sorry he was. I just let him hold me like that while I was trapped in my own body. It was like burning with the morphine in me all over again.

Everyone except for Alice had told me that after their change, it made their human memories fade away and take on an almost dream-like quality. This didn't feel anything like that, the complete opposite in fact. I could remember everything, every sing moment, in vivid detail. The amount of memories, twenty-one years' worth, was heavy but still seemed to take up practically none of the space in my spacious new mind. I couldn't touch that right now, it would take time and I needed to see my daughter. The fact that I had that though, even though it was painful, was a bit of a relief. It was enough to help me finally move again, and I slowly, and gently, wrapped my arms around Edward.

He leaned back slightly to look at me, concern plain in his eyes. I gave him a small smile, and when I leaned up on the tips of my toes he automatically leaned down to meet my lips. His electricity burned away some more of the pain, and I leaned into him gratefully. I felt him relax against me, and had to force myself to pull away. I had to stop letting myself get distracted.

As I looked back up at him though, I realized that I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I didn't even know how to ask, and fidgeted uncomfortably. Edward seemed to catch on quickly, and smiled encouragingly while taking my hand. "Don't worry love, it's easy. Instinctual. Are you ready?" I nodded happily, not being able to resist mirroring his bright smile before he led me out to the back porch.

I really needed to clean my house, but put it on the growing list of things I needed to address later.

I broke the handle on the backdoor while trying to close it behind me, and sighed loudly in annoyance before just walking away and leaving it. Edward distracted me by jumping lightly off of the back steps and landing just next to the tree line. I hadn't been able to actually follow him with my human eyes when he moved this fast, and I couldn't help but admire the gracefulness of his movements. He grinned when he caught me watching him.

"Keep up, if you can," he said teasingly, before spinning and shooting off into the woods like a bullet. I watched the space where he had been for an entire second before grinning and taking off after him. It was more than easy to follow after him, his familiar scent leaving a clear trail through the forest. It didn't take long to catch up to him either; his legs were longer, but mine were faster and stronger. It was effortless to not only catch up to him, but push past him as well. I finally understood what he had meant when I asked him how he avoided hitting trees. They didn't fly past me in blurs of green and brown, it felt more like the faster I moved the more the world around me slowed down. I realized that I hadn't even put on shoes, but the rocks and twigs on the ground felt as soft as warm cotton under my feet.

It was _amazing_. I never thought I would enjoy running, but this was better than my Ferrari.

I might have gotten carried away, Edward falling further and further behind as my strides got longer and longer. It felt like I was flying, and it wasn't tiring in the slightest. My entire body was filled and vibrating with power. I stopped dead in my tracks when the scent hit me though, and inhaled deeply. It was so sweet, delicious, but… wrong, dark. There was something bad about it, and I turned and waited another four seconds for Edward.

"What is that?" I asked, sniffing again curiously. His eyes went wide, and he gripped onto my arms tightly. It scared me a little, and I automatically moved closer to him. He loosened his grip as he watched me with an odd expression.

"Humans," he said in an uneasy tone, and I felt my eyes go wide in panic before I clung to him. I didn't want to hurt anyone, Edward said he wouldn't let me hurt anyone.

"Let's get out of here," I whispered frantically. I didn't wait for his reply before bolting in the opposite direction. I went slow enough for him to catch up and keep up to me. It was a minute before he spoke, I still wasn't breathing.

"You're seriously not going to even _try_ to go after them?" I stopped, looking at him completely horrified, and he backtracked to my side.

"What are you talking about? Or course not!" He smiled at me and shook his head.

"I love you," he said simply, leaning forward and kissing me. God, I loved kissing him even more now; my lips no longer moulded around his hard ones but held their own. His skin didn't feel like stone anymore, he was warm, soft, and giving under my touch. We were equals now. I smiled against his lips, and he pulled back to look at me curiously. I just kept watching him with that smile. He wouldn't have to worry about hurting me anymore, and I wouldn't be slowing him down or holding him back anymore either. This is the way we were meant to be, and now there wasn't a force in the world that was strong enough to break us apart.

"So, where are we going?" I asked casually, forcing myself to take a step back from him. He smiled, closing the space between us and taking my hand again. He led me easily, and I was close by his side as we ran for another ten minutes. He stopped, and turned to face me.

"Can you hear that?" He asked quietly, looking over to the east. I listened for a few seconds, and nodded once when I heard the quiet, dull thudding of several large hearts. "Can you smell them?" I inhaled deeply, and was met by the familiar sweet and almost spicy scent of deer. I nodded again, and he watched me expectantly for a moment. I started to get extremely nervous again.

"How about you go first," I said, forcing my voice to stay calm. He looked a little worried for a moment.

"Are you sure?" I nodded enthusiastically, and he smiled again. "Okay, but they're going to scatter as soon as they catch our scent."

"I'm sure I'll be able to catch up to one," I told him with forced ease. He grinned, and I followed after him slowly at a bit of a distance as he took off in their direction. It was a beautiful thing, the way he moved so smoothly and silently. Before he broke through into their clearing, he pushed off the ground with a bit more force, arcing in a great leap and landing perfectly on the second largest doe, his teeth slicing into its neck cleanly before it even hit the ground. I felt a sudden urge of desire… and pride watching him do that.

He was _mine._

Feeling a little more confident, I easily followed the trail of one of the scattered members of the heard. I heard the sound of the river before I saw it, and forgot all about the deer when I broke through the trees and into to water.

The giant, black grizzly caught my scent quickly, but I had caught his first, and it was _mouth-watering_. I leaped out of the water, landing on a large rock just next to him much faster than he would have been able to see. He roared loudly at, and swiped at me furiously as I jumped at him and knocked him into the shallow water of the river. The fur and muscles over the strongest point in his pulse were so thick, but my teeth sliced through him easily. His claws felt as gentle as feathers over my skin, but his struggles ended quickly as his hot, thick blood cooled and soothed the irritated sensation in my throat. By the time he ran dry, I felt grossly full and sloshy, but my head was clear and my body was almost humming with energy. I jumped back to my feet in one quick movement, and turned to face Edward who I had felt behind me. I grinned proudly at him, he had been leaning against a tree and watching me, and I swiped away at the blood I felt on my face with the back of my hand. A large, crooked smile spread over his face as his eyes travelled down my body. The fabric of my shirt hadn't been fractionally as resistant as my skin to the bear's claws. I knelt down, and washed the blood off of my hands in the water before bouncing over to his side in two short leaps. His eyes were captivating, a million different shades of melting gold.

"Are you full?" I asked curiously, not even trying to cover myself up as I smiled up at him.

"Yes, I had seconds while I was coming to find you," he said, leaning towards me slightly. "How about you?"

"I couldn't fit another drop into my stomach," I told him with a small laugh. He silenced my laugh when his lips crashed down on mine, his warm hands sliding down my body. That was going to take a while to get used to. He pulled away pretty quickly though, his grin almost mischievous as his eyes slowly travelled over me again. He grasped a piece of my tattered shirt between his fingers, toying with it for a moment as he smiled. I just looked back up at him confidently, I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest. I was his to look at, and oh how I loved the way he looked at me.

He shrugged off his jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt before sliding it off and holding it out for me to put my arms through. I smiled up at him adoringly, before pulling the ruined shirt over my head and sliding my arms through the large sleeves. I tried to do up one of the buttons, but it crumbled in my fingers.

"Whoops."

He laughed loudly, and quickly did up the buttons for me. "Don't worry, it just takes a bit of practice," he said again lightly, before leaning in and kissing my forehead. "Let's go see our daughter," he said with a smile, and I jumped up to kiss him firmly before he took my hand and started leading us in a new direction.

"It sounded like you were all having actual conversations with her, like she was talking to you. Rose said something about her shouting in her mind?" I said the words like a question, and he grinned.

"Yes, it seems like she's sort of… flipped my ability. She can put her thoughts into the minds of others, a very effective way of communication."

"She never tried to speak to me," I said sadly, a little hurt.

"Oh yes, she has. She's been constantly trying to talk to you since the moment we got her out of you. I thought you were just unconscious but… maybe she just can't break through your shield." I smiled, glad that she had wanted to talk to me, but was worried that I wouldn't get to talk to her like the others would.

"What's she like?" I asked quietly. The longer I was away from her, the less real she seemed. I needed to see her, to hold her, but I would take any little detail that I could until then.

His smile was adoring, and I was jealous once again. He had gotten to spend days with her. "She's extremely intelligent, she has the mental capacity of someone years older, and is learning quickly. She knows a lot of words, though she hasn't spoken aloud, yet."

"Yet?" There was something in his tone that worried me.

"She's still growing, quickly. We're tracking it, I can show you the measurements, but she seems perfectly healthy," he assured me quickly. I had kind of been expecting that though, I was pregnant barely longer than three months. "She looks just like you," he said with a big smile, and I mirrored it quickly.

I slowed down when I felt the others, and knew we were close. Edward slowed down with me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "How are they?" I asked nervously. "I don't want to walk in there and have Jasper try to pin me again, not in front of Elizabeth."

"Jasper won't lay a finger on you," he said more loudly, his voice dark. He hadn't gotten over it yet, it upset him even more than it had bothered me. I was sure the others would have heard him easily.

"Hey, you know he didn't hurt me. He was doing what he thought he had to, I just don't want anyone to scare her." I wrapped my arms around his waist, gently. If I had hurt him at all, he hadn't mentioned it, but I still warned myself to be careful.

He sighed, and nodded. I shifted a little closer to the house, and Edward quickly led me over to the glass doors. I could hear her heart beat as we walked across the lawn, and Edward wrapped a protective arm around me as he led me inside.

Our entire family was sitting together on the large white sectional in the living room, and they all stood up when we walked inside the room, except for Emmett. He had his feet propped up on the coffee table, and waved at me. "Hey Belle, how was lunch?" He said easily.

"Delicious, I found a black bear even bigger than you," I said with a grin. My face froze when Esme turned around, and I saw Elizabeth in her arms. My hands shot up to cover my mouth as I looked at her, my dry eyes prickling painfully. Her eyes were the exact same brown as mine had been, her round cheeks a soft pink, and a mess of dark-brown hair with a reddish tint covered her head. She looked at least a month old, until her smile split her face with a set of full, perfect white teeth. She was dressed in a light purple dress that I had bought online a couple weeks ago. "Elizabeth," I whispered painfully. She was just so beautiful, perfect. She reached out for me, and I closed the distance of the room between us in a sixteenth of a second. Esme automatically went to hand her to me, but Carlisle pulled her back. He was watching me cautiously, and his eyes went wide when I looked at him evenly. Edward spoke before I did, taking Elizabeth from Esme.

"Isabella is fine," Edward said easily, handing her over to me. She fit so perfectly into my arms, like they were made to hold her.

"Mommy missed you so much, I'm so sorry it took me so long to see you," I told her quietly, sitting down a little too quickly on the couch while I ignored everyone else in the room. Edward sat next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders. His stance was still clearly protective of me. Elizabeth reached up and put her tiny hands on my face, then started touching my hair curiously. I leaned forward and kissed her softly on her forehead, and she giggled happily. "I love you so much," I said, hugging her gently.

"How can you be sure?" Carlisle asked. Esme seemed to trust me, and sat down on my other side. I grinned up at her, and she had the same reaction to my eyes that Carlisle did, though it didn't last nearly as long. She was smiling brilliantly, and I swear she would have been crying if she was able as she leaned over to hug me.

"Well, we were running on our way to hunt, and she ended up being a little too fast for me to catch up to," he said with a smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. I smiled happily at him, and Elizabeth watched us with a curious expression on her face, still tugging on my hair. "Well, she crossed the trail of a couple humans."

"How could you let that happen! We should have-"

"Shhh, stop yelling," I told Jasper sternly. His loud voice had startled her, but she smiled again when I started brushing her soft hair back with my fingers. Jasper looked at me, a little shocked.

"If you would just let me finish," he said with a smile. He was enjoying this. "She caught their scent, and just stood there patiently waiting for me to catch up to her. When I did, she asked me what the smell was, and just ran away. She didn't even _try_ to go after them."

"Seriously?" Emmett asked.

"The bear smelt much better," I said quietly. I felt a soft fluttering against my shield, but it wasn't Jasper. My daughter pouted at me adorably, looking frustrated. "Was that you?" I asked her curiously, and she smiled up at me. "Try again," I asked excitedly. I felt it again, and closed my eyes while I concentrated. I could see her in my mind, the glowing violet, jade and yellow light that made a shadow of her in my head. The yellow lights were stretching, poking at the shield around my mind. I couldn't make a hole to let through, but I was able to stretch it out after a minute and wrap it around her.

_Mommy!_

I opened my eyes, feeling that I had the connection under control, and smiled happily at her.

_Hi baby,_ I thought back automatically, and her eyes went wide.

_I missed you, Daddy says you were sick,_ she thought worriedly, and I nodded.

_I was, but I'm all better now,_ I assured her with a smile. _I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for you._

She didn't use actual words, more like feelings and pictures, when she showed me how scared she had been. She didn't know the others, and they took her away from me. But Edward said that he was Daddy, so she knew she could trust him. It was strange, hearing my own muffled voice played back for me. The way she had heard me when she was still inside of me. I had talked to her about Edward a lot.

"Isabella?"

I looked over at Edward, who was watching the two of us worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"I… I can't hear Elizabeth's thoughts anymore." I smiled at him, and looked back at her.

_Daddy can't hear you when we're talking. I'm going to let you go for a minute, can you show him?_ She didn't want me to stop talking to her, the others didn't do this with her apparently, but I assured her that I would talk again as soon as she finished showing him, and she agreed.

I let the connection go, feeling my shield ripple away from her mind, and she smiled over at Edward whose eyes went wide.

"Wow," he said quietly, and looked at me oddly. I smiled at him, but when I felt Elizabeth push against my mind I looked back at her and let her in again. It was easy.

_Thank you sweetie, you did great_, I told her proudly. She smiled brightly again, and started showing me pictures of Esme holding her while they ran over to the house. She thought it was fun, and asked if I could take her running through the trees. I smiled and assured her that I would. Then she showed me the game she had been playing with Emmett; he took out a Jenga set, and used them to quickly build houses, and let her knock them over before building new ones. He called the game "Godzilla," and I laughed loudly and smiled at him. I leaned into Edward's side, not really listening to the others while Elizabeth seemed determined to show me everything that I had missed the past couple days. Every time she had tried to talk to me before, she had hit the same wall, but I hadn't been able to feel it while I was burning. Just like I hadn't been able to feel Edward who refused to leave my side for a second, constantly holding my hand and placing kisses on my face. I never moved though, and every time it seemed to make him look sad. He was smiling brightly now though, and that made her happy. Carlisle had put something gross in her bottle, trying to trick her into drinking it, and when she threw the bottle at him it had flown over his head and left a dent in the wall. I didn't blame her, it was like I could actually smell it in her mind, and it _was_ gross. I was happy that they had continued her on the deer blood while I was incapacitated, I had told them all very firmly that my daughter would not be drinking human blood, even if it was donated. She showed me the flashes of Edward taking her measurements, twice each day. She thought it was boring. Rosalie giving her a bath, and smoothing a brush through her hair. It felt nice. Emmett tossing her into the air and catching her, it was really fun. A song that she heard on the television, she recognised it because I sang it for her once before. She didn't understand the words but she liked the sound. A CD Edward had played one night, it was her favourite. I recognized it as my favourite too, it was the one he had given to me on my nineteenth birthday.

It was like watching the most engrossing film, with the scene selection on shuffle. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as I gently rocked her in my arms. Her images started to become a little blurry and disjoined after a while, going silent as her eyelids fluttered closed. She fell asleep, and I lost the connection. I looked back up at Edward, who I had felt watching us, and smiled at him lovingly. He had given me this, not only my daughter but the chance to actually watch her grow and be in her life now. He leaned down to meet my lips gently with his.

"She's perfect," I said, looking back down at her.

"She's still growing really fast," Carlisle said. I nodded, but I wasn't scared. I knew that she was okay, I just did.

"I have a theory about that," I said quietly, and looked up at him. "The shifters, their change would be triggered when they felt a vampire in the area. Jacob was only sixteen when he phased for the first time, and within a year he looked closer to twenty-five. It was a defensive mechanism, to help them be strong enough to protect the tribe. I think this might be something like that; it's obvious that she needs blood like us to survive, she might just be growing fast so that she's strong enough to be able to hunt and protect herself."

The room went quiet, everyone watching me. I could count on one hand the amount of times I had talked about Jacob to any of my vampire family, but this was important. I looked up at Edward again, hoping I hadn't hurt him, but he seemed fine while he contemplated my words. "I think that is a definite possibility, and an excellent theory," he told me with a proud smile, tucking my hair behind my ear again and kissing the side of my head. I looked up at Carlisle again, who was still watching me curiously. They all were, now that I realized. I sighed, Edward had told me that my little… abnormality was unheard of.

"Yes, I am aware that my eyes are still brown. No, I have no idea why," I told them uncomfortably, leaning into Edward's side more. He gave me a comforting squeeze. I felt Jasper flutter against my mind again, and closed my eyes while trying to grip onto the sensation with my mind like I had with Elizabeth. I pulled him in past the soft layer in my mind, I couldn't pull him in completely like I had my daughter, and then suddenly I could feel his doubt and mistrust for me. His mood changed to one of surprise when I let him in, and showed him how uncomfortable I was with the way everyone was acting, how I was sorry for hurting him earlier but that he had really pissed me off, how happy and complete I felt now holding my daughter while curled up next to my husband, but how much I really just needed some quiet to think, too much was happening and I needed time to process. I dropped the bond, and opened my eyes to look up at him.

He smiled at me, and nodded his head in understanding. I relaxed slightly, even though Edward was a tense statue beside me. "We should give Belle some space for a bit, I'm sure you have a lot to think about right now." I smiled back at him thankfully.

"Of course," Esme said, leaning in and kissing my head. "You take as much time as you need sweetie, we'll give you some privacy for a bit." Edward moved to leave with them, but I caught his wrist quickly and pulled him back down beside me. He relaxed immediately, smiling as he draped his arm over my shoulders again. Had he really thought that I wanted space away from him? The thought made me sad, I never wanted to leave his side ever again, not even for a second.

In seconds the room was quiet, Esme and Carlisle going up to their room while the others went out together for their own hunting trip. Edward shifted slightly, pulling me into his lap while I held our sleeping daughter, and rested his chin on my shoulder while wrapping his arms around me. I smiled, and relaxed against him. He was quiet and still, and I knew that this was his way of saying to take my time. He would sit with me quietly and let me think as long as I needed to.

And now I finally felt like I could think. Elizabeth was safe in my strong arms, she was healthy, happy, and amazing. Edward and I were together, and now we would stay that way. The thorn that had been my refusal to become immortal wouldn't be able to hurt him anymore. Looking back on it now, I realized that this was the only way that this could have worked. My life had been such an intricate puzzle, and now I finally had the room to put it together.

Jacob had been my soul mate. He was who I should have spent my human life with, what I was supposed to do, but the universe had made other plans for me. I had been thrown into his life while being pulled to Edward. I think some higher power had made my scent the way it was so he would find me, but he ran away to protect me instead. He broke the walls of the painful prison I had lived in for eight years, and then I found Jacob. He made me whole once again, and gave me a reason to keep going even after him and half of my soul had been destroyed. In trying to protect our child, I was pulled to Edward once again.

But If I hadn't loved Jacob, Edward's relationship with me wouldn't have been the same. I wouldn't be the person who he knows now. It made our love stronger, having gotten to know him as a friend for so long before we became something more. If I had just fallen in love with him, I'm sure I would have asked him to change me. But I needed to honor Jacob's sacrifice. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't have my daughter now. I knew what it was like to lose a child, and it was worth my life to protect hers. I had always wanted to be a mother, to have my own person to protect and love, to watch grow and teach. My life, even with Edward in it, wouldn't have been whole without her. Everything was all tied into one another. No one can have happiness if they don't have pain.

And I had lived through so much pain, pain that was even clearer and vibrant in my mind than ever before. I started flipping through the vault of memories that I had pushed to the back of my mind.

I was surprised, diving to the bottom of the pile, and looking up at the young face of my mother holding me and rocking me in her arms. She was smiling down at me, the sweat on her tired face making her black hair stick to her forehead. I flipped forward to another one of her. I was playing in the sandbox in the back yard, and looked up at her sitting on the grass next to me. She was sitting on a large purple blanket, reading her cards and looking at me with a pained expression. I walked over and gave her the pie I had made out of mud, and she smiled at me with tears in her eyes.

. . . . .

I was walking down to her bedroom, I had a nightmare, and heard her pleading with my father.

"You need to promise me," she begged, and I listened worriedly.

"I'd promise you anything," he said lovingly. It didn't sound like my father, that kind, soft voice.

"You need to swear that you'll protect her, love her, if something happens to me."

"Don't talk like that," he said dismissively, but there was worry in his voice.

"Please Peter. I need to know that she'll be okay."

"What about me? Don't you worry if I'll be alright?"

"Of course, but she's seven Peter. She needs someone to protect her. Please promise me."

"Not unless you promise you'll never leave me first."

She was quiet for a long minute. "I can't do that." His voice got angry, and I ran back to my room to hide.

. . . . .

"Belle, do you know what these are?"

"Their mommy's special cards," I told her happily, sitting next to her on the table and colouring with my crayons.

"They're called Tarot cards. They're magic," she said in an enthusiastic whisper.

"Really?" I asked excitedly, dropping my book and moving closer to her.

"Yes, they talk to me, and tell me things. Today they want to talk to you though, do you want to hear what they have to say?" I nodded excitedly, and she started shuffling the cards before stopping suddenly, and laying them out in the shape of a star. I couldn't help myself, I reached out and grabbed the one on the bottom right corner, and she didn't stop me. I picked it up, and looked at the picture of the grey tree. I looked at her, and she motioned for me to set it back down.

"Do you want to pick up another one?" I nodded, and grabbed the one in the center. A sword with many blades, and a tear rolled down the side of her face. She nodded for me to continue, and cried silently while I flipped over cards. "Do you have any more cards?"

"Yeah, but he's in there," I said, looking at the pile of cards. She only looked at it for a moment, before handing it over to me. I slid them out in a line in front of me, and pulled out the one I could feel. It gave me a static shock, and I giggled at the feeling as I picked it up. I liked this one, a large heart with beautiful white angel wings coming out of it. I smiled and handed it to her. Her eyes went wide, and she closed her eyes while holding it in between her palms for a long time. She smiled sadly, and started picking up the cards. "What did they say Mommy?"

She watched me with a pained expression for a long minute before speaking. "Belle, you know what balance means right?"

"Daddy says I don't have any," I said, making her laugh.

"A different kind of balance, in energy."

I thought for a long moment. "Like in your garden?"

Her face lit up. "Exactly!" I smiled happily. "The world needs balance, or it would fall over-like you do," she said lovingly. "It doesn't always feel like that happens though, not when you're thinking of your own life." She took a deep breath. "You're special Isabella. You have a gift, it's in our blood. It won't always feel like that though, and it's going to make things hard, even painful. But as long as you never give up, you're going to be okay."

"I don't understand Mommy." The pain in her eyes was scaring me.

"I know baby, and I'm sorry. I love you so much."

"I love you too," I told her worriedly, and she hugged me tightly.

. . . . .

"Mommy, what are you doing?" I asked sleepily, rubbing at my eyes. I sat up in my bed, and she was sitting next to me holding a large bowl. There was a candle in it, surrounded by different flowers, herbs and what looked like berries.

"I'm sorry Isabella, but I need to make sure you find him. I have to."

"Find who?"

"I don't know baby." She shifted closer to me and I turned to face her. "Sweetie, I need you to poke your finger with this," she said, handing me a silver pin.

"Is this magic?" I said excitedly, grinning up at her. She smiled sadly back at me, and nodded. I took the pin from her, and pricked the tip of my finger. I cringed, but it only stung for a second as a drop of blood welled up on my finger.

"Now I need you to touch the flame," she said quietly. I was nervous, but I reached out and did it. I giggled.

"It tickles," I said, watching as the blood on my finger slowly dissolved. "And it's cold."

She smiled in relief, and leaned forward to kiss my hair. She placed the bowl with the burning candle on the shelf of my head board, then laid down next to me in my bed.

"I love you so much Isabella. You're my whole life. I'm so sorry, but I need to know that you'll find him. That _he finds you_. I'm so sorry."

. . . . .

"Why was Daddy yelling?" I asked her. We were late leaving for the festival, and my class was supposed to sing a song.

"Dad is just a little frustrated because-"

"Mommy!" I screamed as I pointed, the large semi plowing through the red light and smashing through the door. Mom reached out for me though, and her hand on my forehead is what stopped me from cracking my skull on the dashboard.

My ears were ringing, and I hurt everywhere. There was glass everywhere, and people shouting around me. My door was pinned against a brick wall, and some giant piece of metal, it was white and covered in red stripes, was on top of the car. It was dark, but I could still see when I looked over at my mom. She was staring at me, a silent scream on her lips and nothing in her dead eyes. I screamed, and tried to shake her awake, but she didn't move. I yelled and yelled while I cried, but no one could lift the metal awning of the store we had crashed into off the top of the car. Mom didn't move, and I sat there and cried for hours until the firefighters could cut us out of the car, the smell of rust and salt filling my senses and engraining itself into my memory.

. . . . .

I tried to take a bite of the Shepard's pie I'd made us, but the way he was glaring at me made my hands shake too much, and my stomach roll. It was easier to wait until he let me clear the table and eat a bit in the kitchen alone. He always looked so angry when he watched me eat his food.

"She wouldn't have been driving that day if it wasn't for you," he hissed, taking another sip of his drink. It was never safe to talk, so I nodded as my eyes watered. "She knew what was going to happen, didn't she?" I looked up at him in surprise, but quickly looked back down when his fist clenched. He wouldn't hurt me, he might not like me but I'm still his daughter. Some part of him has to love me. "Didn't she?" He asked in a much louder voice, almost yelling. I panicked and spoke.

"I don't know!"

"Yes you do!" He shouted, jumping to his feet and slamming his fists on the table. I couldn't breathe. "I can see it in your eyes! Just like hers!" I couldn't stop my sobs anymore as I gasped for breath, and he sighed irritably before taking our plates and dumping them out in the kitchen garbage.

. . . . .

There were so many boxes by the curb as I walked home from school, and I panicked when I saw what was in the top one. Mom's square box, her smudge sticks and candles… I shoved the box in my backpack quickly, and swiftly and silently made my way up to my room. I put my ear against the wall right next to my door, and listened. There was a vent there, and it carried the sounds of every room in the house through the ventilation system. Dad was in the basement with some of his friends, and it sounded like they were playing poker. I carefully lifted up the loose floorboard under my bed, and gently hid the box before closing it again. I emptied my books out of my bag, putting them away neatly in case he came into my room, and snuck back outside again unnoticed.

I went through some of the boxes quickly, looking over my shoulder every five seconds, but most of it were things I couldn't hide. Clothes, hats, paintings. There were a lot of pictures though, and I quickly thumbed through them and took every one of my mother and I put the boxes back to the way they were.

When I went back inside, I closed the door a little more audibly so my father would know I was home, and put my bag back in my room before going to the kitchen to make dinner. I checked the whiteboard on the fridge.

_Make fried chicken and those coin potatoes, three people, I'll come get it at six._

That was only forty-seven minutes, and I started running around the kitchen as quickly as I could, heating up the oil and oven, washing, cutting, frying and baking. Just as everything was finishing off in the oven and I finished cleaning the kitchen, I noticed another box by the back door. This one had a bunch of pictures in it too, the one on top my favourite picture of my mother. She was sitting on a beach in front of the ocean, her black hair blowing around her in the wind. She was wearing a white dress and her favourite pearl bracelet.

I grabbed it, and dashed upstairs hiding it as quickly as I could, then ran back down to take everything out of the oven just as my dad came upstairs.

"You're not done yet?" He asked in annoyance, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "Would you like individual plates or serving dishes?"

"Serving dishes, we're hungry," he said, taking out plates and knives while I quickly put the food into two big casserole dishes. I jumped when he slammed the plates down on the counter. "Where is it!" He shouted, jerking me around as he grabbed onto my arm painfully tightly.

"Where's what?" I asked, though it came out as more of a squeak.

"The picture! It's gone!" He shouted. I cried out as he shoved me against the counter, the edge digging into my back.

"I didn't touch it!" _Crack_. The back of his hand connected with my jaw, and I looked back up at him in shock. He seemed surprised to, but only for a second, before he grabbed his food and walked out of the kitchen.

"You're a thief and a liar, and if you ever steal from me again you'll live to regret it," he growled, and slammed the door to the basement shut behind him.

. . . . .

"You wanted to see me Ma'am?" I asked hesitantly from her door way. She smiled at me, and waved me in to sit down.

"How are you doing today Isabella?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Why did you want to see me?"

"You've been doing really good in your new classes, I wanted to see how you're feeling about them."

I smiled happily in relief. "I love them, the materials are so much more interesting."

"Not having any difficulty?"

"No ma'am."

"Your father must be really proud."

I hesitated but recovered quickly, putting on my most convincing smile. "Yes ma'am."

"How are things at home?"

"Good," I said, maybe a little too quickly.

"Isabella… I want you to know that you can talk to me if there's something wrong. I'm here to help you, you're safe in here."

No, I'm not. "I'm fine Ma'am. What is this about?"

"Your gym teacher told me about your bruises Isabella."

No, no no no…. "Oh, that was nothing. I'm just a little clumsy. Coach Davis knows that, he's seen me play soccer before," I said with forced ease. Please god, please don't let them have talked to him. She watched me for a long moment, and nodded sadly before dismissing me.

. . . . .

I was putting dinner in the oven while my father watched me with a scowl. He held up his glass, and I ran to fix him another drink with shaking hands. It was like Russian roulette, sometimes he would just pass out and I would have a few hours of calm, or he would snap and I would have to steal another container of concealer to cover the bruises. The doorbell rang as I handed it to him, and my face blanched when I spilled a bit. He pushed away from the table angrily, walking over to answer the door.

I was never to answer his door.

"Who are you?" He said in annoyance.

"Are you Mr. Peter Larose?"

"Yes…"

"Hi, my name is Rebecca. I'm from social services." Oh dear god no. "May I please come in?"

"Of course," he said, much friendlier. "I was just cooking dinner, you're welcome to join my daughter and I if you'd like?"

"Why thank you, I would love that," she said, voice getting closer. I quickly pulled off my apron, stashing it in a drawer and sitting down before they came into the kitchen. My father was behind her, and gave me a promising glare as he walked into the kitchen. He looked at his glass of scotch, and shot me a furious look when the woman noticed it.

"Hi Isabella, my name's Rebecca," she said sweetly, reaching out to shake my hand. I tried to force the tremors out of my hand as I went to shake hers, but hadn't been successful. She noticed.

She noticed a lot. It didn't help that my father didn't know how to actually cook, his ruse falling apart when he asked me to finish for him. He kept clenching his fists angrily, and couldn't help the occasional angry look while we ate.

"Finish your dinner… Isabella. You don't eat enough," he said in a forced voice. I don't remember the last time he had actually called me by my name. I nodded, and forced more food down my throat, painfully stretching my stomach with a shaking fork. I didn't tell the woman a single thing, but I knew my performance wasn't good enough. As soon as her car pulled away, my nose was bleeding.

"You called fucking social services?" He roared angrily.

"No! I swear I didn't! I didn't-"

He didn't hear a thing I said in the time it took me to remind myself that talking always made it worse. It was the first time he ever broke a bone.

. . . . .

The nausea was horrible. Stupid drugs they had me hooked up to. I could barely move, but I guess that was a good thing. Apparently the stairs had broken a lot of things, my fall not being one of them. The door opened, my heart jumping to my throat once again as I waited for my father's furious face. It was a woman in a grey power suit though.

"Rebecca," I said. It had been two years, but I remembered her face. I had ended up looking like a racoon for a few weeks after her visit. There was a police officer with her

She smiled at me. "Hey Isabella, how are you feeling?"

"Where's my father?" I asked, ignoring the stupid question. She shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm officer Grimes," the man said, stepping forward. I looked at him worriedly. What did he tell them? He couldn't charge me for taking Mom's things, could he? What if he told them something else, said I did something so that they would lock me up? I realized that I wouldn't mind that at all. "There was an incident, after you were admitted to the hospital. I'm sorry miss, but your father was killed in a car accident."

I stared at him for a long moment, waiting for him to tell me that he was only joking. But he didn't, and the reality set in. Tears started falling out of my eyes. He was gone. He was actually gone. I was a horrible person for feeling so… happy. Relieved. Grateful.

. . . . .

I kept flipping through, because the next few years were still so familiar. Switching schools, orphanage, foster homes, until I met Charlie.

He had loved me and wanted to protect me from the day we met. Every single thing he had ever done around me had been with kindness and real love. It had been hard to trust him, but impossible not to. Why couldn't it have been him that my mother had found? All of our dinners, nights watching TV, sitting and talking or driving around flashed through my mind in a beautiful collage of happiness, until that bullet went through his head and took him away from me. He stared back at me with empty, dead eyes until the ambulance took him away.

Angela. Her friendly smile the first day I sat next to her and she gave me a page number. She was the best human friend I had ever made, and I felt myself smile while I went over each and every lunch, shopping trip, class and study session we had.

Leah. Emily. Sam. Embry. Quil. Paul. Seth. Claire. Billy. Sue. Harry. It had been such a short nine months, but so much had happened. I had met and fallen in love with so many people, my family. There were so many moments, little pieces of joy that I held onto desperately while praying they were all still happy, and so thankful that I had gotten to say goodbye to them. No matter how much they may hate me for my choice, I couldn't bring myself to regret my decision as I looked down at my daughter.

Jacob. The way he had looked at me that first day when he dropped the sandwiches. The hurt expression in his eyes when I flinched away from him at Christmas. The dream catcher he made for me. The bonfire at New Years. How he draped his arm nervously around my shoulders at the movie with Leah. His warm hand cupping my face the first time he kissed me, and asked me to be his girlfriend, and the thousands of kisses we shared afterwards. The warmth of his hand as he cupped my face, smiling as he told me that it was _me_ he had imprinted on. The first, amazing night we made love, and every beautiful time after that. The pull like gravity that drew me towards him. Every single moment he told me he loved me. The sound of his voice and promise in his eyes when he asked me to marry him. The way he held me when Charlie died, and the pride on his face when I told him I was pregnant.

Then the feeling of being ripped in two as he died. It was so prominent, vivid, that I flinched and clutched at my now silent heart. It seemed to shift my very soul, and Edward held me tightly.

"Isabella? Are you okay?" I nodded, and rested my head against his shoulder while cuddling into him more. His burning electricity helped sooth some of the pain. I would carry each and every moment in my mind for the rest of time, and I would cherish it. Because without it, I wouldn't have been able to have all of this joy. To have Edward, and Elizabeth, and truly know just how blessed I was.

"You said that your human memories faded when you changed?" He nodded. "Mine haven't, they're even clearer now. I can remember _everything_, even things that had faded over time as a human. Every single moment, it's all there." When I looked up at him, his eyes were surprised, and concerned. He didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to say anything. "It's okay, I'm glad. Everything that happened, in the end, brought me right here. To you. I don't want to forget, not even the painful parts."

He watched me sadly for a moment, and I gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I love you Edward. Thank you, thank you so much for finding me, saving me, and giving me the life I have now. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

His fingers slid into my hair, holding my face firmly in his hands with a glowing smile. "I'm still having trouble believing all of this is real, that _you're_ real. Everything that you've given me… I love you, I love you so much Isabella." He shut his eyes, and the expression on his face looked so painful. I knew exactly how he felt, it was painful for me to try to directly comprehend how much I cared about him. There were no words for a feeling like that, but we didn't need him. I kissed him as fiercely as I could while cradling our daughter. Still she stirred in between us, and I pulled away. His eyes were burning as they looked back into mine, and it was hard to think when all I wanted to do was lick his face. I closed my eyes, and let out a shaky laugh. I couldn't do this, it would kill me because I knew it would be a while before we would have the privacy. The sky was starting to lighten, and Elizabeth would wake soon.

My eyes shot open when one of Edward's large hands slid up the inside of my thigh, rubbing his thumb firmly between my legs. He grinned mischievously at me, and winced when I smacked away his hand.

"Sorry!" I squeaked in a panic, taking his hand and inspecting to make sure I hadn't damaged him. He grabbed my face and kissed me quickly though, and I smiled against his lips. My emotions still felt a little distracted, unstable, like I was still suffering from my pregnancy hormones. I had to force myself away from him again though, it was too much. "I know the others don't really want to be away from us right now, do you think they'd want to come over to our place today?"

"We'd love to!" Esme said from her room, and appeared in front of us in two seconds, wearing different clothes than she had been when she went upstairs. Carlisle came down shortly after her, and sat next to me on the couch. He kept staring at my eyes, and I could see his mind spinning with questions in his.

"Ask away Carlisle, I'm not going anywhere," I said, leaning back against Edward again. His fingers were playing with the edge of my shirt, _his_ shirt, brushing against the skin on my waist. I pinched his leg, and he winced, making me laugh. Elizabeth shifted again, her tiny pink lips twitching into a small smile. Edward sighed dramatically, dropping his head back on the couch.

"What do you remember about the transformation?"

"Nothing for a little while, it was black until the fire started. I couldn't move, the morphine kind of trapped me. I listened as you helped Edward keep my heart and lungs working."

He nodded, and I guessed Jasper had told him. I hadn't said much until they had left though. "It wore off after fifteen hours though, all the venom Edward injected you with burned it off quickly, but you didn't move."

"Either did you, when you were hiding in those rotting potatoes," I pointed out.

"No, I did. I didn't _scream_."

"Well, I knew if I moved, I would have started screaming, so I didn't."

"Fascinating," he said, and I was glad that he was in doctor mode and not the concerned parent mode, it made it a little easier to talk to him about it. "So you were listening, the entire time?" I nodded. "What about your appetite? Why didn't you go after the humans?"

"Well, they smelt good but… wrong somehow? I didn't think it was safe, and when Edward told me… I was scared. I didn't want to hurt them, so I ran."

"And the bear really smelt better?" I smiled at the memory, and nodded, making him laugh. "Well, just with your eyes alone, it's obvious that there is something different about you. Then there's your scent… Maybe you were right Edward." Carlisle leaned forward and sniffed me, and Edward let out a low growl as he pulled me away from him before he could stop himself. Carlisle held up his hands in a gesture of peace, and my husband let out a sigh as his hold on me relaxed.

"Sorry," he said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, its natural son, don't worry," Carlisle reassured him. I got it, if some woman came up and sniffed my husband I'd break their face. Just thinking about it, I had to take a breath to calm myself.

I looked over at my husband curiously, trying to steer us back to Carlisle's comment. "Right about what?"

"Well… it was a joke really, but since you woke up in the hospital… I don't know, there was just something different about you, I didn't think that you were actually human. Not completely, anyways."

"And what's wrong with the way I smell?" I lifted my arm and sniffed my hand curiously. I didn't need their answer though, all of their scents filled the room. They all smelled different, but there was something similar about them, a sharp sweetness almost. I was lacking whatever that similarity, that sharpness, was.

"You still smell like you used to," Edward said with a happy smile, his eyes darkening a little in a way that tightened my stomach excitedly. I had thought he would look forward to my scent changing but… he seemed relieved.

"Well what would I be if I wasn't human? I know I can't change into an animal." I tried to laugh, but something in his words nagged at me.

"_You have a gift, its in our blood…"_

He shrugged lazily. "I don't know, we're not the only supernatural beings out there."

"Anyways," Carlisle said, pulling my attention back when it was obvious that this train of conversation wasn't going into the direction he wanted to go in. "How are you feeling? You seem very calm."

"I am," I said happily, looking at my daughter in my arms. I never wanted to let her go. "It was hard at first, it was difficult to think and concentrate. I just wanted to see Elizabeth, but we thought it would go more smoothly if I hunted first. But I'm good now, I've never felt more happy before," I told them all truthfully. Edward gave me a gentle squeeze, and kissed the back of my neck. We all looked up when the others came back in quietly. I smiled at each of them, and had to cover my laugh when I looked at Emmett. He had twigs in his hair, blood all over his face, and his shirt looked like mine had yesterday. I sniffed him, and smiled. He'd had the same thing I did for dinner.

I gave Alice and Rose each a one armed hug from Edward's lap. We hadn't even talked yesterday, too much had happened too quickly. When Emmett came close though, Elizabeth sniffed, and her eyes fluttered open slowly. Her eyes went wide and she smiled brightly when she looked up at me. I let her in when her mind fluttered against mine.

_Mommy!_

I smiled, I would never get tired of hearing her call me that.

_Good morning sweetie._ I answered the curiosity in her mind. _That's what you say when you see someone in morning, the beginning of the day. _

_Good morning Mommy_, she thought happily, and I nodded with a smile.

_We're going to go home so you can have some breakfast, okay?_

She showed me the flashes of Esme running with her here, replacing her with an image of me, showing a picture of my bedroom, and her thoughts were almost a question.

_Yes, that's home. And yes, I would love to run with you_, I told her happily. "We're going to head back to the house, would you guys like to come over?"

"Sure," Rose said quickly. "We'll meet you over there in a bit." She dragged Emmett upstairs with her, and I looked over at Jasper.

"You can stop at the hardware store on the way over," I said with a smile.

"Uh, what?"

"I _am_ sorry for flipping you, but I _had_ warned you, and I was completely serious when I said that I expected you to fix my floor," I told him seriously, but in a light tone. He rolled his eyes, but was smiling. I was happy to see that I was apparently forgiven.

**Thanks for Reading! **


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four: Haze

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty-Four :: Haze**

**Isabella**

Alice got changed quickly, and the six of us ran over to the cabin together. Elizabeth was smiling, flashing me pictures of different trees that she liked, and I told her the names of each one she showed me. We stopped once because she wanted to touch the bark on one of the birch trees. No one said anything about the crushed door knob as we walked in through the back door, and I gave Elizabeth a kiss before handing her over to Edward to feed her. I took a quick shower, breaking another handle and shattering the glass door when I closed it too quickly.

"This house isn't going to last the week," Emmett said with a smile as I dashed over to my closet in my bathrobe. I growled warningly at him, and he threw back his head laughing. After tearing through two sets of jeans in my annoyance, I carefully slipped on a dark purple dress made out of a seemingly sturdy fabric I had hanging up. It had long sleeves and a high neck, but a very low cut back, and the skirt flared out artfully at the waist, going halfway down my thighs. I grinned after finally getting something onto myself without damaging it, and went back to join the others in the living room. The way my body moved was still so weird, but the running had definitely helped me get a little more used to it. God, I would love to go running again, I just felt so excited, like I had this giant, bottomless reservoir of energy to burn. "Careful with the chairs," Emmett teased when I stopped at the coffee table. "They're only steel and wood."

I glared at him, and he threw back his head, laughing at me again. With a slight growl I dropped down on my knees on the other side of the coffee table from him, denting the wood with my elbow as held out my hand in a challenge. Edward told me I'd be even stronger than Emmett at first, and losing an arm wrestle to me would definitely shut him up. His grin was brilliant as leaned forward and took my hand, flexing his arm.

"Would you like to count, little sister?" He asked teasingly.

"No, you can. I want you to have as much time to prepare as you need," I said with a grin.

"Okay then, three!" He said, skipping it and throwing his strength into his arm. I could feel his immense power, but it was _nothing_. My arm didn't budge, and I watched his face delightedly as it turned frustrated. That was all I wanted, and my irritation evaporated as I slammed his hand back against the table, cracking the wood clean in two. I smiled at him, then picked up my broken table and threw it out on the driveway. Emmett was still sulking when I came back in, and I leaned in to kiss my smiling husband before taking Elizabeth again and sitting down in his lap. His hand was a little tight on my waist, but I liked his strong hold.

It was a busy day, Esme helped Jasper fix my floor, I broke the window in my bedroom trying to tape it up and Esme was able to procure and install a new one for me, I cleaned up the broken glass in the bathroom, and we moved the TV back out to the living room while getting the extra furniture out of our bedroom. They had already righted the attic back to its previous state while I was still burning.

"I'm really going to need to make a trip to the hardware store soon," I told Edward with a sigh. He shifted uncomfortably when the room went quiet. "What?"

"Love, it's not safe for you to go into town," he said sadly.

"But I would never-"

"Oh, I know you wouldn't hurt anyone. I completely trust you. But there are too many people here who know your face. If they saw you now… It would raise too many questions about us. I'm sorry."

"Oh… Okay." I kept my voice polite and even, refusing to let any of them see how much that bothered me. He was right, of course. I still looked like me but… the change of my skin, my more filled-out, healthier looking body, and the slight changes in my features; it was an unexplainable and _obvious_ change. I could finally go out and be around people without being in pain, but now it wasn't safe to. Edward watched me worriedly, so I gave him an easy smile. He didn't relax much.

"So, looks like another move," Esme said happily. "Where should we go next?"

"Wait, what?" We were moving? But… no. We couldn't leave. The idea of selling this house to someone broke my heart. This was _our_ house, this was our _home_. The one Edward and I built together. He asked me to marry him on our beach, the first time we made love in this bedroom, my daughter was even born upstairs. No, I didn't want to leave. I felt myself start shaking, and I quickly handed Elizabeth over to Edward as I jumped to my feet. Everyone was watching me worriedly. "I just… just give me a second," I said, dashing upstairs. No, if they saw me freak out they wouldn't trust me, I was supposed to be a crazy newborn. This… it was just happening too quickly.

"Isabella?" I looked over at Edward, but didn't know what to say. I didn't trust myself right now, so I just stood perfectly still and watched him. He walked over to me slowly. "Are you okay?" I gave him one curt nod, and it was obvious that he didn't believe me. When had my acting skills gotten so bad? "Please, talk to me."

"I don't want to sell our house to some stranger, it's _our_ house," I told him quickly.

"I would never sell this house to anyone. We'll keep it for when we come back, no one else will touch it."

"Really?" I asked hopefully. He smiled.

"Of course. We built this home together, and I treasure the memories me made in it. I have lots of houses, ones that mean much less to me than this one does. I swear, no one else will even touch it."

"But we really have to leave, don't we?" I felt childish, but it just made me so sad. No house I've lived in has ever meant this much to me.

"It's what's safest for you and Elizabeth. We can wait a little longer, it will take time making moving arrangements anyways, but you won't be able to go into town."

"I don't mind," I told him quickly. Christmas was in a couple weeks, and I really wanted Elizabeth's first to be here. "It's not like I ever did it much anyways," I said jokingly. His eyes went wide, and then very sad. No, I stressed him out enough as it was, I wasn't going to let him feel bad about this too. I moved too fast for him to see, practically jumping on him as I kissed him. He caught me easily, throwing me into the bookcase as he pinned me against it. My legs wrapped around his waist, and his warm, soft hands slid up my legs, going under my skirt. He flinched away from me suddenly, his hands freezing, and looked down at the stairs. He sighed, closing his eyes and burying his face in my neck with a small sigh. "What?"

"Our daughter is calling me," he said with a hint of frustration, I could feel his lips smiling against my neck though. I felt her mind brush against mine, and quickly slid out of Edward's arms so I wouldn't accidently share this with her.

_Mommy! I miss you_. She heard the books fall, and wanted to know what we were doing. I laughed, and told her I'd be right back before letting go of the connection. I watched Edward's hungry eyes for a long minute. He looked like he was about to rip my dress off and eat me whole, and I wanted it so badly that it hurt.

I leaned in close, whispering into his ear quiet enough that the others wouldn't be able to hear. "As soon as she falls asleep, you better make sure that they leave. I want you so badly I can barely think," I purred, leaning into his body and sliding my hands down his beautiful stomach. He growled low against my lips before I kissed him again.

_MOMMY!_

I dropped my head back when I laughed, and Edward was giving me a frustrated smile when I looked back at him. After one more quick kiss, I pushed away from him gently, gracefully landing on my feet, before taking his hand and pulling him back downstairs behind me. His grip on my fingers was pretty tight.

Elizabeth was sitting up on her own in Rosalie's lap, her arms outstretched as she reached for me, grasping with her tiny hands. I picked her up quickly, and she patted her little hands on my cheeks in excitement as she showed me what had happened. The bright cardinal had landed in the feeder _right there_, she thought, pointing at the long white feeder I had on the maple closest to the side of the house. She played it back for me perfectly in her mind, but I could feel her excitement and how beautiful she thought he was. I smiled at her adoringly, telling her the name of the bird and that they were one of my favourites too.

"That is just so weird," Rosalie said with a big grin. We looked at her at the same time. "First we had to deal with Edward and his mind reading, half-conversations. Now we've got the whole lot of you doing it." Emmett laughed with her, and I rolled my eyes at them with a smile.

_Weird?_ She wanted to know if that was a bad thing.

_No, special, unique. There is nothing interesting if everything is the same. _

_But we're the same as Daddy?_

_In this way, almost. But the thing that makes us the same, makes us unique from everyone else. We don't really do the same thing though. Daddy can read other minds, and you can talk in other minds. But I can only talk and hear you, and Daddy can't hear me_. I worried that that would confuse her, but I listened as she thought about my words carefully. She nodded, and I was amazed once again by how intelligent she was.

_Why can't Daddy hear you?_ It felt like I was talking to a six year old, not a five day old. A six year old with an eidetic memory.

_Because I'm weird_, I thought back with a smile, and she grinned brightly at me. Edward came up behind me, placing his hands on my hips as he rested his chin on my shoulder, grinning down at her. She smiled brightly, and I felt her mind pull away from mine. Curiously, I tried to stay attached, following her bright yellow light, and froze as I listened.

_Mommy says you can't hear her because she's weird._

_No, she's not weird. She's amazing_. Elizabeth's eyes went wide when she heard him in her mind, and his grip tightened on me when he realised in turn.

_He's only saying that to be polite_, I thought.

Edward spun me around, looking at me in shock, and I lost my mental hold on them, but grinned widely.

"What's wrong?" Jasper said worriedly, no doubt feeling all of the surprise from them.

"Nothing," I said easily. Edward smiled at me, and nodded once. He leaned down and kissed the top of Elizabeth's head, then my lips before walking over to the kitchen and getting another bottle ready for her. The others didn't need to know this, it was ours. Elizabeth did this for us, connected us on yet another level. She noticed Esme drawing, and wanted to go sit on her lap and watch. Esme's face lit up as she reached for her, and I handed her over just before Edward handed her the bottle. She preferred to hold it herself.

I grabbed my own sketchbook and a good pencil from upstairs, before returning down and sitting in Edward's lap. He had brought down his reading chair, we were a bit low on space. I'd have to plan for a bigger living room in the next house, and when we come back I can downsize the kitchen.

Man, I'm going to miss chocolate. I wondered what it tasted like now.

"So, where were we planning on going next?" I asked no one in particular curiously.

"I believe next on the list is Wisconsin," Jasper said easily, Carlisle and Emmett nodding.

"What's it like there?" I asked curiously. I had heard the name before, and only knew that it was in the states.

"We have a piece of land there, about two thousand acres , right up against Nicolet national forest. I think you would like it, the forests are beautiful."

I smiled happily at him, as long as I was surrounded by trees, and had Edward next to my side, I knew I would love it. Elizabeth must have asked Emmett where it was, because he grabbed a globe, and scooped her up into his lap before showing her. She looked even smaller next to his hulking frame.

"I already have a house there too. It's about a five minute run from the main house," he said quietly, and a little nervously.

"Really?" He gave me a timid smile. "Do you have any pictures?"

"Of course," he said, relaxing a little. I gave Elizabeth a kiss and told her I would be right back as I followed Edward upstairs. He quickly pulled me onto his lap in his desk chair, which I found a little odd because I was more than comfortable standing, and started up his laptop. He went through and opened up a folder. He gestured for me to go ahead and look through, but when his wireless mouse crumbled to pieces in my hand I flinched back.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay love," he said with a soothing chuckle, wrapping an arm tightly around my waist. "I didn't like that mouse anyways," he said easily, and started going through the pictures with the control pad on the laptop.

"Aren't those things heat-sensitive?"

"Yes," he said with a grin.

"But it still works?"

"Jasper's really talented when it comes to working with electronics, he's tweaked with mine so that it's sensitive enough to work."

"I can do yours too for you, if you want," Jasper said. I could hear him easily from downstairs, and smiled.

"Thanks Jasper," I said happily, though I doubted I'd be touching my laptop anytime soon. It was a pretty, sparkling purple, and I really didn't want to break it.

Edward clicked through all of his pictures, going through the one's of Esme's giant house through it's construction, seventy-eight years ago, before going over to his own. A large brick bungalow done in sandy-brown stones. It had a partial attic like ours, only square instead of rectangular, and it looked almost twice as big as our house. Two and a half baths, three bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a large, full basement.

"Did you build it?" I asked curiously. He laughed, his hand slowly sliding up my thighs. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to think past the over-whelming urge to rip off his pants.

"No, Esme built it. I just told her I wanted a house, and let her do what she felt like." His hands slid higher, burning my skin as his nose trailed along the curve of my neck, my head dipping back as his tongue trailed along the shell of my ear. One of his hands shot up and grabbed my breast firmly before his fingers traced along the inside of my thigh. I gripped onto the arm of the chair, and it quickly crumbled under my grip. I didn't care that our entire family was siting directly below us, I never wanted him to stop touching me. My body felt so much more sensitive to him now, and I wanted more, I wanted to feel all of him against me, I wanted to drown in his electricity. I spun around in his lap, much too quickly for even him to see, as I straddled him and kissed him fiercely. We were completely silent, but I could still feel the vibrations of his growl in his chest. His hands were tight on the backs of my thighs, and I thought he would shatter my legs from the force as my hand traveled over the large bulge in his pants. My other hand clasped over his mouth when I felt a louder response travelling through his chest, his eyes popping open and burning me with their golden depths, I smiled, replacing my hand over his mouth with my lips as I rocked myself against him, wanting to feel his hardness against me. I knew that the sound of his zipper alone would give us away.

I let him stop me, smiling at the darkness in his eyes as he stood up and set me down at an arm's length away from him. We just stood there watching each other hungrily before he sighed irritably, and pulled me back downstairs behind him. Emmett and Jasper were playing some shooting game, Elizabeth still in her uncle's lap, giggling as she pressed buttons on his controller. Edward walked over to his chair again, pulling me down with him and holding me against him with frightening strength as his chin rested against my shoulder. He was frozen like a statue, and I watched Jasper's eyes flicker over to him a few times with a knowing smile.

Elizabeth got bored of the game, and she was handed back to me. She fell asleep in my arms while I showed her the pictures of the new place in my mind. I had to pry Edward's arms off of me before I went to put her in her crib, giving him a meaningful look before I went through the doorway. I listened with a smile as he pretty much kicked his family out of the house, saying we'd come by tomorrow. I stood and watched her for a few moments while she slept, wishing I could see her dreams. I looked around the beautiful room, sad that she wouldn't have long to enjoy it before we left, before walking over to our bedroom. I stopped in the doorway, watching Edward sitting on the edge of the bed while he watched me. I grinned happily at him.

Then he was in front of me, towering over me and burning me with his eyes. I don't know why, but I was almost… nervous. All it took were his lips to push that out of my mind though. He leaned in slowly, that crooked, mischievous, and excited smile playing on his lips before they lightly brushed against mine. His large hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him roughly as his lips moved across my jaw and down my throat. My hands slid up his strong arms as I tilted my head backwards, leaning my body into his, before I grabbed onto his neck and pulled his lips back to mine. I kissed him urgently, hungrily, and his lips were just as desperate against mine. He lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, and I easily ripped open his shirt. I smiled at the sound of the buttons dancing across the hardwood floors when they fell, marveling at the feel of him under my fingertips. I still thought it was weird how warm he felt, and soft. He wasn't hard like stone, but then again I doubted that even a stone would feel hard in these new hands. They seemed to shatter any sort of knob or handle with too much ease. I clung to him easily with my legs as his fingertips trailed down my neck, then started sliding my dress down my shoulders.

"Does it bother you? That I feel different?" My lips blurted out. It was hard to think with the waves of electricity that were rolling through me.

"No," he said quickly, his voice deep and thick. "You feel amazing, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop touching you." He grinned happily at me, his lips so close that they brushed against mine as he spoke. "And now, I don't have to worry about hurting you." His lips crashed against mine with enough force to crack the wall behind me. It didn't hurt, it was as soft as being pushed into a pillow. He seemed to lose his patience with my dress, gripping onto the front of it with both hands and ripping it in two. The long tearing noise seemed to echo throughout our room, and the feel of so much of his skin against mine was overwhelming. My hands gripped onto his large shoulders, pulling myself against him as his hands slowly went down my ribs. If I held him too tightly, he didn't show any sign of discomfort.

He just felt so… perfect. This was perfection. We were the same temperature now, but the electrical force our connection made was so powerful it was tangible. There was no other scent but his, like everything I loved combined into one thing, and I could taste it on his lips. His skin impossibly soft, smooth, his brilliant hair like silk as I combed my fingers through it.

I gripped into the back of his hair, pulling his head back gently before leaving a trail of hungry kisses down his throat, lightly scraping my sharp teeth along his skin. The growl that I felt travel from his stomach, into his chest, and up his throat had to be the most arousing thing I had ever heard, but I gently kissed the spot to silently let him know I was being careful. I heard his pants fall to the floor in a light swish of fabric, and the tightness of his grip on me told me that he didn't want me to be.

I leaned away slightly, easily pushing myself up with my thighs. I looked deeply into his smouldering, golden eyes, and his hands were holding me up unnecessarily on the back of my thighs. His fingertips brushed along the edge of my underwear.

"I love you," I told him simply. It felt like an understatement, this was more than love. This was… I had no words for it. It was the closest I could come to explaining it though, and I actually think he understood that.

"I love you too," he said back. "I love you so much it's painful, but… without that pain life ceases to have meaning, and joy doesn't even exist. You're everything Isabella."

It was too much, too painful to listen to those words and not feel his lips against mine. I no longer needed air to survive, just him. The taste of him, his scent, his burning electricity. I knew exactly how he felt.

Even without the need for air, I still inhaled sharply when his fingers tore through the only fabric separating me from him, and he slid one of his large fingers in between my folds. I almost flinched, gripping onto him a little too tightly, and he silenced my moan with his lips as he dipped one of his long fingers inside of me. I felt his hardness against my thigh, and moved against him almost desperately. "Please," I breathed. Oh god, I just needed him so badly, it was all there was. His lips became rough against mine, and I whimpered against his mouth as he centered me over him, pushing my back against the wall as he slid into me, agonizingly slowly as his large hands threatened to shatter my waist. My thighs tightened on his hips as I moved myself over him. It was just too much, my body exploding from the amount of pleasure, and I lost myself to him as he started moving into me. His right hand gripped onto my hip, guiding me as his other hand slid up my stomach, cupping my breast and tracing around and pinching me with his fingertips, making my writhe between his large body and the wall in our bedroom.

. . . . . . . . . .

It never got tiring, my muscles didn't get sore, I wasn't desperately trying to force myself to keep breathing. I didn't know how I would ever force myself to stop. I knew I never wanted too, but I knew we would have to. We were lucky our daughter was such a heavy sleeper, but she would be up soon. As I lay back in the ruins of our bedroom, Edward's body lightly pinning me as his lips danced along my neck, I knew it would be torture to wait the entire day until I was able to do this again, touch him like this. It was suffocating, but at the same time I already missed my daughter. I wanted to hold her, watch her, love her and make her smile, and the desperate need to be close to her was painful.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, probably feeling my body tense as my mind spun.

"I'm just… not looking forward to letting go of you," I whispered, and his lips quickly met mine. His hand cupped the back of my thigh as he shifted over me, hiking my leg up around his hip.

"I know exactly how you feel," he whispered in my ear, his tongue tracing along my ear lobe, making me shiver before his pushed into me. I clenched around him inside of me, making him thrust into me again quickly. He covered my moan lightly with his hand, giving me a mischievous smile as he hovered over me, and I smiled against his palm before easily rolling him onto his back, moving him even deeper inside of me as I rotated my hips against him. He gripped onto my hips with both of his hands before one of them quickly slid in between us, as started circling me with his thumb firmly.

. . . . . . . . . .

She started stirring not long after, and we quickly took a shower before she woke up. After kissing her good morning, Edward got her bottle ready and sat with her while I quickly got dressed. I kept snapping the buttons on my pants, ripping the clasps on my bras, and tearing through sleeves as I pushed my arms through them too quickly. By the time I was able to slide on a soft, grey cashmere sweater dress I had a full laundry basket of torn clothes, which I carried out to the kitchen sadly and started stuffing into a garbage bag. I took over for him while he got dressed, listening to the radio in the living room with my daughter while she finished her breakfast and told me about her dreams, braiding my hair and nodding along while I watched the beautiful pictures float around in her mind. She thought it was fascinating watching me braid, telling me that she thought it was pretty, and I assured her that as soon as her hair was long enough I would braid it for her. It didn't look like it was going to be a long wait, her thick sandy hair was almost touching her shoulders.

The three of us had a very peaceful morning, we all squeezed together onto the comfy love seat, Elizabeth nestled in between us, while Edward told me what it had been like last time he had been in Wisconsin. Elizabeth quickly got bored, and we took her over to the big house to spend the day with the family.

. . . . . . . . . .

Life was blissfully perfect. My days were filled with loving my daughter and rejoicing in the fact that her growth had drastically slowed down over the past couple weeks. She was still growing faster than a human infant, but it wasn't the drastic, worrying growth that had scared the family so much. She looked more like a three month old than a three-week old, but her body was thinner, more adult-like in her features.

Her mental growth hadn't slowed in the slightest though. She was so smart, her mind more like a vampire's with her perfect memory and quick thinking, and she absorbed information like a thirsty sponge. She seemed the picture of happiness, always smiling and laughing surrounded by our large family. The only time I left her side was to hunt, and when she went to sleep.

There were no lows to my days. There was no way to adequately describe the joy I took in motherhood. Seeing my daughter grow and smile brought me so much happiness, and after she fell asleep my time was completely dedicated to my husband. Our nights always passed too quickly, in the blink of an eye, and it was always painful to watch him get dressed in the morning. It was rare that he wasn't by my side though, touching me and holding me. The only time we had been apart for more than a few minutes was when he went to the hardware store for me. I had needed to repair a few walls, but the furniture we destroyed I brought replacements for online. Doing it without telling Edward was the only way I could ever beat him to paying for the things I destroyed. Alice had knowingly brought me two replacements for my lap top, both identical to the first one I destroyed while trying to order a new bed.

. . . . . . . . . .

She giggled loudly, smiling as the kernels of corn popped and bounced into the bowl. The sound was deafening in my sensitive ears. Elizabeth was easily perched on my hip while I started emptying a few bags of cranberries into another bowl.

_What are you going to do with them_? She asked curiously.

I sent her a mental picture of the long rope of popcorn and cranberries, piercing through them with a needle and sliding them down the long thread, and then hanging it outside on the tree for the birds. She _loved_ watching the birds, and smiled brightly at the little memory of me doing it with my mother when I was little.

_Can I help?_

_Of course_, I told her happily, before quickly turning off the popcorn maker. I smelt immediately when the few duds began to burn. Curiously, I picked up one of the popped kernels, and popped it into my mouth. I quickly opened the garbage and spat it out, shuddering from the disgusting taste. Elizabeth and Edward both laughed again simultaneously.

"Do you want to try a piece?" I asked Elizabeth curiously. I could never initiate the connection, I could only speak back if she started talking to me.

_No thank you_, she thought with a big smile. I grinned back, and kissed her check before flashing into the living room and setting her down next to her father on the couch. He set down his book, picking her up quickly and smiling brightly at her as he lifted her into the air above him.

I tidied up the kitchen quickly before putting the two bowls on our third new coffee table, and grabbing my sewing box and joining them. Elizabeth was sitting in Edward's lap while he went through the channels, letting her press the button. He stopped on a Christmas movie, but Elizabeth's attention was stolen as I opened up my sewing box and started looking for a strong thread. The three of us sat there quietly, Elizabeth handing me piece after piece so I could thread them, and Edward sliding them down the rest of the long thread. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, so once we ran out of popcorn and cranberries the three of us went out to the large blue spruce on the side of the house, and Edward held Elizabeth while I easily climbed the tree and started wrapping the long rope around it. Once I got close enough to the bottom I hopped off, and started to walk around to do the bottom branches. I looked over to look at the two of them, and when I smiled at Elizabeth who was watching intently, she easily hopped out of Edward's arms. We both watched, stunned, as she easily, and very gracefully, walked over to me. I beamed at her proudly, leaning down and kissing her, and let her help finish the bottom of the tree. Edward was clicking pictures happily. We took dozens of her every day, trying to make a photo album that was months rather than weeks long.

Big, fluffy snowflakes started to fall as we stood back and admired the tree, and our daughter started smiling happily as she chased them, catching the ones she thought were prettiest. With the nice cloud cover, we decided to go for a run and took the long way over to see the others. Alice and Esme were outside hanging lights and garland, and I went to give them a hand while Edward took Elizabeth inside.

"I have to say, I'm really going to miss cooking for you. It was a fun hobby, especially during the holidays," Esme said with a smile. I grinned back at her.

"I already miss the taste of chocolate, it's horrible now," I said with a laugh. I waved over to Emmett and Carlisle as they came by, carrying a ten-foot fir towards the house. "Elizabeth walked today," I told them, making them both freeze. "Didn't wobble or anything, it was like she had been doing it for years."

"I wish I had seen," Esme said sadly, and I assured her that Edward had taken plenty of pictures. "Her growth has really slowed down though," she said, her voice echoing the relief I felt.

"Yes, I don't think it will be long before we can take her hunting," I told her. "She asked if she could come with us last weekend. She wants to try, she always prefers the deer when it's fresh, and I can't blame her." Alice laughed, agreeing.

"Well, it would be nice not having to drain them in your garage," she said knowingly. I smiled back at her. "Just one more string," she announced, climbing up the pillar beneath me and handing me the last strand of lit garland. I slid down with a smile, wrapping it around on my way, before plugging it into the outlet in the bottom. Esme and I stood back, watching as Alice turned them on. The house looked beautiful all lit up in the snow, and the three of us smiled at each other before walking inside.

Esme immediately started trimming the tree inside, Carlisle holding it while she quickly started stringing the lights, and I smiled at my daughter in Rosalie's lap before following Alice up the her room to borrow some dry pants.

"I actually ordered you a few things," she said, pulling me over to the couch inside her enormous closet. I was too used to this now to let it upset me, and really I needed the help. My clothes didn't usually survive more than one use, if they survived me putting them on that was. Alice and I did most of our shopping together though, and she knew my taste well. She set the pile beside me before walking over and going through some of her own things. I smiled happily at the pair of dark grey jeans I found, sliding my wet pants off and pulling them on. They fit perfectly, but I was already wearing a grey shirt, so I switched it for the white cashmere shirt she had also gotten me. It only had one shoulder, the sleeve that went down to my elbow very wide, and tied with a wide, black leather belt. I grinned in the mirror, combing out my braid, and smiled before looking through the rest of my pile.

"I love all of them," I said happily, pouncing on Alice and giving her a tight hug. She laughed while trying to escapes my iron grasp. "Thank you very much."

"No problem," she said with a big grin. "I wish the others were as appreciative of my talents as you are." I laughed, releasing her as I sprang back to my feet. She handed me a large, designer back pack to put the others ones in so I could take them home. "I can't wait until we can actually go shopping together," she said excitedly, adjusting my shirt slightly and nodding in approval.

"Me neither. I'm going to miss our house, but it will be so nice just to go out again," I said longingly. "Actually be able to go out, and not have to worry about the headaches." She grinned happily, and hooked her arm through mine while we turned to go back downstairs. She beat me to the doorknob worriedly, and I laughed at she opened it for me. I was getting much better with controlling my strength, but it was hard sometimes. I was so happy that Elizabeth was more like a vampire in that respect, I would never have been able to forgive myself if I hurt her, but it was much easier being gentle with her. Natural even.

When we went back down, the tree was lit up in miniature, multi-coloured lights, and Esme was stringing up silver garland. Edward was sitting on the floor next to Elizabeth who was inspecting the boxes of decorations intently. I knelt down behind Edward, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing his neck gently. One of his hands quickly slid up and cupped the back of my neck, and he tilted his head to smile at me.

_Look at this one Mommy! Isn't it pretty?_

_Very pretty_, I told her with a smile, looking at the clear bulb that had trees covered in snow painted on it.

I followed her consciousness as she pulled away to talk to Esme. I couldn't talk to anyone besides Edward doing this, but I found I could listen. _Can I help Grandma? _

Esme smiled back happily at her. "Of course sweetie." Elizabeth smiled brightly, standing up on her own again and walking with Esme as she started hanging bulbs. I pulled the camera out of Edward's pocket, and started snapping pictures as he pulled me into his lap. He left a trail of kisses up my bare shoulder, making me laugh.

"I like this shirt," he said with a happy smile. I grinned back, leaning up and kissing him.

"Thank you," I said, hoping that it would last for a second use, while simultaneously hoping it wouldn't. Elizabeth told me she was thirsty, and I gave him another quick kiss before hopping to my feet and walking over to the kitchen. She drifted off after her bottle, and I cursed silently when I saw the time. "We have to head home," I told him. He jumped to his feet quickly with an adorable, excited smile.

"What for?" He asked hopefully, leaning in and kissing my neck.

"Your Christmas present is being delivered in twenty minutes," I told him with a big grin, and he raised a curious eyebrow. "What time would you like us over tomorrow Esme?"

"Any time sweetie," she said, flitting over and kissing me on the side of the head. We waved goodbye to the others, and Edward carried Elizabeth carefully to not wake her while we ran back. He got her changed and tucked her in once we got inside, and I threw out my shield, concentrating carefully while I waited. As soon as I felt them turn onto our drive, I blocked their minds from my husband, and ordered him not to peek.

I threw on a coat, it would be too cold for a human to be comfortable outside right now, and waited on the front steps.

"Mrs. Cullen?" The man asked, smiling brightly at me after he hopped out of his truck.

"That's me," I said back, taking a curious sniff as the two men walked over. "Thank you for coming so late on a holiday," I told him gratefully.

"Our pleasure, where would you like it?"

"Just here is fine actually," I said. It would be easy to move on my own once they were gone. He unlocked the trailer for me to inspect, and the beautiful silver Harley Davidson and it's detached side car sparkled beautifully in the dim light. I nodded in approval before closing the door back up, and waited as they unhitched the trailer from their truck. I shook the man's hand, slipping him a hundred for his troubles discretely. After happily wishing me a merry Christmas, they hopped into their vehicle and drove away. Once they were far enough away, I let my shield snap back into place, and opened up the garage before I pulled the trailer inside. I easily, and carefully, lifted the bike out, and set it down in the open area next to the side door to the garage. I left the side car detached, and dusted her carefully before putting a giant read bow on the seat of the bike. I smiled proudly, and dashed back into the house.

"Were you shielding them?" Edward asked curiously, hooking his arm around my waist as I walked past.

"Were you trying to listen?" I countered with a knowing smile. He grinned back.

"What did you get me?" He asked hopefully. I watched him for a moment.

"Do you really want to know? Because you can have it now if you want," I told him easily.

"Really?"

"Sure, if you want." I loved seeing him excited like this, and was proud of the fact that I was the only one who could give him this; an aspect of surprise. He knew what everyone else got him for Christmas.

"Will you open yours then?"

"Sure," I said, forcing some enthusiasm into my voice. He grinned happily, and I led him outside by the hand, stopping in front of the door and gesturing for him to go ahead. He took a step inside, and froze. I walked in, closing to door behind me and flicking on the light. I watched his face hopefully.

"You go me another bike?" He asked in disbelief. I placed the key in his palm, and he grinned brightly before walking over and sitting in the seat, and sliding his hands appreciatively over the handles.

"I know you already have one," I said in a smooth voice, sliding onto the seat behind him. I felt him freeze for a moment as I wrapped my arms around him, and slid my hands up the inside of his thighs. "But we can ride this one together." I popped the button right off of his jeans, and he pulled in a sharp breath as I slipped my hand inside of them. "Do you like it?" I asked in a low voice, sliding my hand down him, firmly yet gently.

"I love it," he said in a somewhat strained voice, closing his eyes tightly as I started to move my hand more quickly.

"I'm glad," I said with a pleased smile, breathing into his ear and grazing my teeth over his ear lobe as I pressed myself up against his back. His large hands gripped onto my knees tightly, and I growled lightly into his ear from the pleasurable tightness. He tried to jump off and turn around, but I easily held him in place, leaving a trail of kisses up his neck as I tightened my grip slightly. His growl reverberated through his chest, and I laughed darkly in his ear, trailing my tongue along the side of his neck just before he came.

As soon as I had released my hold on him though, he jumped to his feet, slamming me up against the wall of the garage in a second. His lips were urgent against mine, ravenous, and his hands quickly slid my shirt over my head after fighting with the black belt for a few seconds. His lips were everywhere, covering my body in kisses as he knelt down, undoing my pants and sliding them off before lifting one of my legs over his shoulder. I gasped as his tongue darted over me, one of his hands gripping tightly onto my thigh as his other slid back up, squeezing my breast. My fingers gripped into his hair tightly as I threw my head back. I started squirming against the wall, barely able to think and almost whimpering before he stood back up, lifting me into his arms. I looked up at him, pleading with my eyes, and he grinned promisingly as he carried me back over to his new bike. He sat back down on it, positioning me over him, and grinned happily before he pulled my lips to his again and pulled me down on top of him. I moaned against his lips, gripping onto his shoulders tightly as I rocked against him. His hands gripped tightly onto my hips, controlling my movements, and I reached behind me easily and started up his bike. It roared to life like a thunder cloud beneath us, the arousing sound making me shudder against Edward's body, and his grip on me tightened even more as he smiled against my lips.

"God, I love you so much," he growled, but I silenced his words with my lips as I kissed him again urgently.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Elizabeth is starting to wake up," he whispered, leaving a trail of burning kisses up my stomach. I couldn't bring myself to move, not when his lips were torturing me like this. He put his weight on me as he lay down on top of me, his tongue darting into my mouth as he kissed me. My hands slid into his hair, holding onto him tightly as my legs wrapped around him. I felt her mind brush against mine, but I couldn't even think enough to let her in.

Edward couldn't block her though, and he sighed, resting his head on my neck as his lips pulled away from mine. I took in a shaking, unnecessary breath, and he smiled down at me lovingly before kissing me once more, and pulling us up to our feet. We grabbed our clothes, running naked through the snow quickly back into the house. I told Edward to grab a shower first as I wrapped a housecoat around myself, and went and picked Elizabeth up out of her crib.

"Merry Christmas sweetie," I told her happily, kissing both of her cheeks. She smiled happily at me as I carried her out to the kitchen. "Are you thirsty?" She nodded with a big smile, and I easily held her on one hip as I got a bottle ready for her. We'd have to bring back another deer tomorrow. She took a sip and frowned.

_I want to go hunting with you and Daddy,_ she pleaded, her eyes going wide while her bottom lip jutted out. It was adorable and heart breaking. And I hated giving her this old blood. It had tasted much better as a human.

And really, I didn't see the harm in it. I could take one down for her.

_Just give me a minute, I'm going to talk to your father_, I said, setting her back down in her crib. Edward didn't hear my robe falling to the floor over the sound of the water, but he spun around when I opened the glass door. I gave him an appreciative smile as my eyes traveled over his stunning body, and he grinned back before lifting me up in his arms.

"I want to take Elizabeth hunting today," I told him confidently, his lips froze on my neck, his hands letting go of my breasts.

"Love, she's too small. I know she doesn't like the old deer but-"

"I'll take one down for her, and we can share. It will be easy, and it will give her some knowledge to start preparing for when she is big enough."

He looked at me, a little surprised for a few seconds, then smiled. "That's actually a great idea. Do you really think you'll be able to share one with her?"

"Yeah, I can never finish a full deer anyways." I moved in closer to him again, sliding my fingertips down the toned muscles of his stomach, and gripping onto his hardness a little tightly before dropping down to my knees. He responded quickly, throwing his head back and sucking in a sharp breath as I wrapped my lips around him.

. . . . . . . . . .

I dressed Elizabeth very similarly to myself, jeans and a plain shirt. Something we could just throw out after, because it was going to get ruined. She was bouncing in excitement, delighted that she was getting her way, and we couldn't help smiling back at her. I put her hair into a neat braid just like my own, it was a little past her shoulders now, but very thick and always seemed messy. It was a constant battle, trying to tame that hair of hers. Something she inherited from her father.

Just before we left, we squished all three of our faces together while Edward held out the camera and took a picture of us. This would go in the special album, our first family hunting trip.

Elizabeth clung easily to her father's back, her little arms tightly wrapped around his neck, and his arms wrapped around behind her, holding her securely just in case just behind me while I led. Edward had told me that it wasn't an easy thing to do, share a kill, and that when vampires hunted it was an all engrossing thing, you couldn't think about anything else.

We had no idea what the hell I was. When I hunted, it was just the same as doing anything else. My mind didn't seem to change, and I had difficulty understanding what they meant. Apparently my thirst was different too, I didn't need as much blood as they thought I would, and I ended up having to put my foot down, saying I wasn't going to let them keep forcing me to hunt so much when they tried to make me go out every day. It was wasteful and disrespectful to the animals that sustained us. I went out with Edward when his eyes would start to darken. Mine didn't change colour either.

I quickly caught the scents of a couple deer, and felt when my husband and daughter slowed down a little as I jumped high, silently, into the branches of the forest ceiling, landing gracefully on the back of a doe. I snapped her neck cleanly within a quarter of a second of touching her. She hadn't seen or felt a thing, it was the way I preferred to hunt. They were such beautiful creatures, I could even feel their faint, yet beautiful lights in my mind, and I hated the fact that I had to kill them.

I didn't have the option of becoming a vegetarian anymore. My family considered_ this_ a vegetarian diet. I sighed, and waved them over.

Elizabeth had tears in her eyes when Edward set her down next to me as I knelt down beside the deer, and after a moment of looking in his black eyes I nodded for him to go ahead after the other ones. "Seriously, I got this, and I'm not even thirsty," I told him softly. Elizabeth was clutching onto my arm, looking at the still creature as she sniffled sadly.

I told them we shouldn't have let her watch Bambi.

Edward sighed sadly, and went after the others.

"This is what hunting is like Elizabeth," I told her softly.

_But… She's so pretty. I don't want to. I don't mind the bottles anymore, I swear._

_This is how we get the blood for your bottles too sweetie. I know it's hard, every life deserves love and respect, and it is good that you can see that. But this is life, some lives must end so new lives can begin._

She looked up at me sadly, and I gave her a gentle smile before kissing her cheek. I sliced into the neck of the deer, just where I knew a large vein to be even though she had no pulse, easily with one of my sharp nails. The blood immediately started to trickle out, and just as I expected Elizabeth shifted closer as she sniffed.

"Go ahead sweetie, it's okay." She didn't need any more encouragement, easily dashing around me as her lips quickly went around the small cut. I smiled proudly, shifting around to the other side of the deer, and easily bit into the higher part of her neck. Elizabeth growled instinctually, and all I had to do was shoot her one warning look before her eyes went wide, then meekly lowered her mouth back to the deer. I really wasn't very thirsty, and finished before she did. I wiped my mouth off on the back of my hand, then washed them off with some snow. Edward came back then, eyes a burning gold and honey colour once more, and smiled as he looked down at our daughter in front of the deer. His arm was tight around my waist, and when he leaned in the tip of his tongue traced the corner of my mouth, catching a spot of blood I had missed.

"Delicious," he growled deeply in my ear, too quietly for Elizabeth to hear. I held onto him a little more tightly, my sigh coming out a little shakily.

Elizabeth cried a little again when she finished, but there was nothing that could be done about it. She had enjoyed it, and it would take a little time for her to get used to it. It was just a part of life. After getting her to blow her nose, she clung tightly to my back as we made our way home to get cleaned up.

The sound of Edward's phone was deafening in the quiet of the forest, but he answered quickly. She didn't give him time to speak.

"Where are you? Are the three of you together?" Alice asked urgently.

"Yes, we're about a minute away from the house, we were hunting with Elizabeth. What's wrong Alice?"

I didn't need to know, I felt it. Them. Twenty seven of them, vampires. Their colours were red and black, two having a trace of a coppery red-ish orange, and two others with little bits of a weak yellow. They were all vampires.

"Edward, we need to get to the house NOW. Tell Alice they're five clicks away, there's twenty seven of them," I growled, speeding up but staying directly by his side. I was the fastest in our family, but we were evenly matched if I was carrying Elizabeth.

"We heard you Belle," I could hear her voice from our yard now too, and three second later we were leaping onto the porch next to them.

Edward growled loudly, probably now hearing their thoughts as I felt them move through the lake. I pulled Elizabeth into my arms, and handed her to Esme. "Take her upstairs, I won't let any of them get close to the house," I told her firmly. My tone left no room for negotiation. I wasn't scared, I was _angry_. I don't know what they wanted, but they've already pissed me off. I would not let Esme near any sort of violence, or my daughter. She nodded once, and then spun upstairs. Elizabeth was pushing against my mind, but I couldn't talk to her now. We had to move fast, they were close. She was safe, that's all that mattered.

"What do they want?" I asked Edward knowingly. He was listening to them with a strained, furious expression.

"They're all newborns, no more than six months old, some only weeks. Their carrying one of your towels Isabella, they're-"

"Do _not _let them get your arms around you, and don't go for the obvious kill. It's the only thing they'll expect, they won't be thinking clearly," Jasper warned. We didn't have time for anything else as they started breaking through the thick ice on the lake and rushing towards the house.

"Wait," I warned, before my family started rushing towards them. I grabbed Edward's arm, and quickly felt his electricity move through me. "I'll hit them half way up, then spring," I told Jasper, who smiled brightly and nodded.

It was a quick, three quarters of a second later that I threw out my shield, and the air was filled with piercing screams as I knocked them down to the ground. We all sprang at that moment, and inspired by the only memory I had of seeing a vampire kill another vampire, I landed hard and shattered the head of one of them with my foot.

It took me a few seconds too long to realize that I still smelled like a human, and as they quickly recovered from the shock of my shield I felt the majority of them swarm towards me in my mind. Some of them were distracted by my family members, my eyes automatically darting to Edward. There was one on his back, and one grabbing at him arm as a third sprang at him. I threw my shield out around him in a quick burst, throwing them back before quickly putting it back around the house, before I felt a dozen sets of hands grabbing me at once. I screamed as one of them bit into my neck, half a second later another set of teeth cutting into my thigh, and threw my shield out from me again while throwing them back.

I just sort of snapped.

I rushed at the one who had bitten my neck with an enraged snarl, crushing his head easily in my hands while kicking into his chest and ripped his shattered head completely off. Half a second later I grabbed the arms of the next one, pulling him towards me as I bit into his neck and ripped it off at the same time as his arms, then flipped off of his torso, landing behind the one I felt coming from behind me. They were everywhere, and I'm not sure what really happened then in my mind. I closed my eyes tightly, concentrating on the sixteen vampires that were not my family members, and threw down the darkening cloud that I felt around me over their lights.

My eyes shot open when they all fell down to the ground, screaming as they clutched at their heads in pain. I kept it on them as I sprinted around in a blur, smothering out their cries as I quickly crushed their heads. I was trembling in my anger.

No one was _ever_ going to hurt or take away my family again.

And then there were none left. I couldn't stop though, my anger had made everything take on a red hue, like I was looking through a curtain of blood, and I tore their twitching bodies apart in a violent frenzy.

The only thing that stopped my one and only thought, to destroy, was the crackle in the air when Edward's hands were shocked away from me, making me freeze.

My entire family was looking at me with terrified, stunned eyes. Statues. I looked around at the strewn body parts that covered my snow-filled yard. My body went cold, and I looked up at Edward in horror.

"Oh god, what did I…" My hands shot to my mouth as I backed away from him, up against a large Oak. What the hell just happened? What did I do? It felt blurry, all I could remember clearly was a collage of piercing red eyes as they looked up at their death before it came crashing down and snuffed out their lives without a second thought. My breath kept hitching painfully in my throat as I tried to breathe. It was so weird, because I knew I didn't need the air, but right now it felt like I desperately did, like I was drowning, but my body didn't have tears to cry. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, as I slid down against the truck of the tree, curling in on myself and trying to make myself disappear. I couldn't think.

Edward came and sat next to me in the snow though, and easily transferred me into his lap while wrapping me tightly in his arms. He was silent, but didn't let me go as I felt the rest of our family start moving around, and smelt them start up a fire. I couldn't look.

It wasn't the fact that I had killed all those vampires that upset me. Maybe I should have been more considerate of their lives, since I myself was a vampire now. Kind of, anyways. But I didn't, I couldn't care less about any of them. What upset me were my family's faces. They were afraid of me, and I didn't blame them. It was like I hadn't even been in my body.

"Isabella, Esme's going to take Elizabeth back to the house with them, okay?"

God, did she see me? Even if she didn't I'm guessing my family won't want her anywhere near me. I nodded. When I felt them all disappear from my mind, Edward stood up with me, and carried me into the house. He set me down on my feet in our washroom, and stood there holding me until I made myself look up at him.

He looked scared, and that terrified me. I never deserved him, and how could he still love me after seeing me do something like that? How could any of them? What if they leave me?

No, I'd die without them. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk, but I needed to beg him not to leave me. I couldn't let him leave. This force that pulled me towards him, stronger than love or gravity, without it I would be nothing. I gave myself to that energy, collapsing into it and wrapping it around myself, through myself. I didn't want to be anything besides this; _his_.

Edward's lips crashed own against mine, almost painfully hard. It pulled my mind back into my body, which responded instantly, desperately. I couldn't live without this. The strength of my response knocked Edward back onto the floor, cracking the tiles, but he quickly flipped me over, pinning my arms to the floor as he looked down at me, an almost bewildered look on his face.

"I heard you," he whispered, eyes wide as he kept me pinned beneath him. My mouth popped open.

"Seriously?"

"You didn't mean to do it?" He asked in confusion.

"I don't even know what I did," I whispered nervously. Did he see how crazy I feel? Does he hate me even more?

"Isabella, nothing could ever make me want to leave your side. Do you really not see how much I love you?" I stared back up at him nervously. "I'm only worried about you. We're not scared of you, they only took Elizabeth away to give us some privacy, so I could make sure you were alright."

"Did she see anything?"

"No, Esme kept her far away from the windows," he said quickly. He sat up, and his eyes darkened as he traced his fingers over my neck. His hands clenched into fists as he growled angrily. It didn't hurt anymore, but I know that was where the vampire had bit me.

"I'm okay Edward," I said a little timidly. His anger was making him shake, and I'd never seen him this angry before. Not even with that vampire woman.

"He marked you," he growled furiously. "He marked you as _his_."

"I killed him," I said quickly. This wasn't just because he hurt me, I could see in Edward's eyes that this was an almost… territorial thing. He was still glaring at the spot on my neck, seemingly beyond words. "I'm yours Edward. Only yours," I said, sliding out from under him and leaning up on my knees, placing my hands on his chest as I leaned into him. He closed his eyes, still shaking as his hands gripped onto my waist tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up to his ear, and whispered lowly. "Take his mark Edward, I only want to be yours."

He leaned back to look at me in surprise, but I looked back at him evenly. Surely. He kissed me again, hard, and as his mouth moved along my jaw, and he ripped open the collar of my shirt. I felt his chest vibrate against mine for a second before his teeth sank into the exact same spot I had been bitten two hours ago, and I screamed.

The pain passed quickly though, and Edward tore through the rest of my shirt as his lips moved down to my breasts, his agile fingers, easily popping the button on my jeans before he started to slide them off.

He pushed me back on the floor again as he quickly shed his own clothes, and his hands were everywhere as his tongue traveled around my hard nipples. I couldn't form a coherent thought when he was like this, everywhere at once and setting my body and mind on fire. My fingers cracked through the tiles like paper over sand as his lips moved over my stomach and down one of my legs, his thumb firmly circling around my clit as I squirmed on the floor. I felt his lips travel over the place where the other vampire had bitten me, and didn't have a second's warning before he bit me again.

My cry had been cut off as he thrust into me, both of his hands gripping onto my hips. The pleasure overpowered the pain, and I moaned as he continued to thrust into me wildly. I easily rolled him over though, grinding my hips against his desperately, and whimpering as his thumb slid between us and started moving over me almost painfully fast.

I didn't think about it, I leaned in, and bit into his neck when we both climaxed together.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Mommy!_ She jumped out of Alice's lap and ran over to me as soon as we walked back inside. _There's presents! Grandma said I had to wait until you came back though! Where did you go? Are you okay?_

"I'm fine sweetie, I just wasn't feeling very well for a little," I said aloud, for the benefit of the others in the room. I let out a sigh of relief when no one looked at me like I was a crazy monster.

Alice was just as excited as she was. "Okay! They're here! Open mine first!" She said, pulling Elizabeth out of my arms and sitting her in front of a giant box. Esme was clicking away excitedly as our daughter tore through the paper, and Edward sat me down on the couch with a big grin, and dashed to the tree and back again with a box almost as big as I was.

"You distracted me from giving you your own gift this morning," he said in a low voice, placing burning kisses along my neck, and paying a bit of extra attention to the spot where his mark was with his lips. It felt weird doing this, sitting around a tree opening Christmas presents, after what just happened a few hours ago. I forced a smile on my face though, I didn't want to ruin Elizabeth's first Christmas any more than we already had. We'd talk once she fell asleep, which would probably be soon once the excitement burnt her out. I carefully tore back the sparking red paper, sticking the bow on Edward's smiling head, then broke open the cardboard box.

My hands quickly clapped over my mouth, stopping the expletive from escaping my lips in front of my daughter. I was frozen, so Edward continued to break down the box for me and handed me the shimmering, metallic purple and black electrical guitar. I shook my head, and he frowned as he held it out for me.

"I can't, it's too beautiful. I'll break her," I said in a terrified voice. His smile was dazzling as he set it in my hands and kissed me.

"It will just give me the excuse to buy you a new one," he said easily. "She's custom though, reinforced steel. A tank could run over this thing and it wouldn't get a scratch," he said proudly.

I knew I could easily crush said tank too though, but it was a little encouraging. I missed playing already, I couldn't bring myself to touch either of the fragile, wood guitars at home anymore. I hadn't played in months.

Edward pulled an amp out of the box, and hooked up the lead to the guitar before plugging it in for me. The rest of the family were engrossed with their activities, and I calmed slightly knowing no one but Edward was watching me.

I'd never played on an electric before, and was surprised by just how sensitive it was. Just pushing on the strings made the sound drift out of the amp without even plucking at them. I grinned, sliding my fingers up the strings and listening to the smooth sound drift back to me. The sound was delayed, but it didn't interfere with how my mind processed the noise like I thought it would. It was a little out of tune though, and once I fixed that I excitedly starting to play with the distortion. It sounded so cool, and I bounced excitedly on the couch before adjusting it on my lap and playing.

I only knew one Christmas-y song, but the way I played it sounded nothing like. I loved how quickly and easily I could move my fingers across the frets, and smiled as I quickly changed songs, closing my eyes with a delighted smile as I played the song I had never been good enough to play as a human.

I smiled up at Edward when my notes slowed to an end, and his smile was engrossing. "I love it, thank you," I said, leaning up on my knees as I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him firmly.

"Can you play that again?" He asked hopefully, smiling down at me with burning eyes. "You've never played that one before."

"I never could before," I said with a laugh, and started playing Classical Gas again.

. . . . . . . . . .

**There's an outtake for this chapter, the battle from Edward's POV. PM me or leave a review if you'd like to read it! It's also rated M, just sayin'.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five: Worth Dying For

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**A/N: I know I haven't done a split perspective chapter in a while, but this is different…**

**Chapter Thirty-Five :: Worth Dying For**

**Edward**

She kept that stunning smile on her face, but I knew it was somewhat forced. Even if I couldn't see it, it was almost as though I could _feel _her unease.

Elizabeth wore herself out with her own excitement from tearing through all her presents, and walked over to her mother sleepily, rubbing at her eyes with one of her small fists as she reached for her with the other. Isabella was at her side in the same second, lifting her into her arms with an adoring smile. She wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, resting her head on her shoulder. I'm pretty sure she was out before I pulled my wife into my lap when she came back over to me. The smile she gave me when I kissed our daughter's head, and then hers, was blinding.

Her emotions reminded me more of when she was pregnant, not a newborn vampire. Except for this afternoon that was…

It was an overwhelming thing, the love I felt for my little family. I had thought my love for Isabella was incomprehensible, but when she gave me our daughter… it wasn't like my love for her had diminished, it had grown so much more, but it was like my heart had doubled in size. I loved our daughter so much, and the feeling of holding them both safely in my arms was the most fulfilling experience in the world.

My family went quiet as they took in the slowed sounds of my daughter's breathing and heartbeat, letting us all know that she was now sound asleep. We had all been waiting for this, there was so much that needed to be discussed.

Everyone gathered around, pairing up with their mates as we all settled in for what was about to come. Isabella spoke first, turning to me.

"Why did they come?" Everyone looked at me expectantly; I hadn't had the time to tell them before we were attacked.

"It was Victoria," I growled. Isabella put a calming hand on my cheek, and I leaned into it, drawing strength from her stunning eyes as she looked at me. "She didn't come out of the lake, it's that self-preservation talent I told you about. She watched from the sidelines, not trusting that it was safe. She was a part of the new born battles in Mexico back in your time Jasper, it's what gave her the idea. She wasn't expecting you to be an immortal," I told my wife, tucking a long strand of her hair behind her ear. "She had a towel of yours, she came back sometime in the fall and grabbed it off of the beach. Somehow she must have gotten around Alice seeing her again." Alice was mortified, drowning in guilt knowing that something this big had happened without her knowledge.

"So that's why they… swarmed me?" She asked hesitantly. I nodded.

"It didn't really help that you still smell almost human, as soon as they caught your scent they lost it," I told her, trying to hold back my boiling rage.

Isabella leaned away from me with a painful sigh, closing her eyes tightly. "God, I am so sorry everyone," she whispered. "This is all my fault, I keep bringing all this shit into your lives." I'm sure if she was still able to cry, she would have been right now. We weren't quite sure what exactly she was, but it was another similarity she had to the rest of us.

"This isn't your fault Belle," Emmet said, catching her attention with the conviction in his voice. "You didn't ask for any of this. All you've ever done is try to protect us from that crazy bitch. She's lost it, and we don't hold you responsible for her insanity."

"He's right," Jasper said, Alice nodding beside him. "And you _did_ protect us. If you weren't there today, we wouldn't have all made it out of there today, if any of us had."

"But she wouldn't have come if it wasn't for me," she argued. She looked down at Elizabeth when she shifted against her in her sleep, and she adjusted her in her arms so she would be more comfortable.

"No." I said, catching her attention. She looked up at me, and I brushed the side of her face with my fingertips. "Even if you hadn't been there in the clearing that day, James would have found an excuse to attack us anyway."

"He's right, it was me that he wanted to attack. You just gave him an easy excuse for a reason. You protected me, but even if not, we would have fought, and destroyed him, and Victoria would have come after us anyways."

"You shouldn't be apologizing, we should be thanking you," Rose said with a genuine smile.

"She got away again though, didn't she?" She asked me. I nodded. "You know she isn't going to stop."

"I agree," Alice added in. "Her mind is chaotic right now though, she isn't making any decisions. She can't believe what she saw, and what she saw that you were capable of doing Isabella. She won't be trying anything for a while. I'm watching her though, if she decides something…"

"I'm sorry Alice, but if you didn't see her building this army," Carlisle added logically. She looked pained.

"Another thing that I'm apparently screwing up," my wife said dejectedly. The room looked at her questioningly. "Alice can't see me, Victoria must have figured that out. It was why she was able to get away with watching me, and why we couldn't see her plotting an attack against me. It's the only thing that makes sense," she explained.

"Well, it's not like we really have to worry about her too much," Emmett said easily, relaxing against the couch. He grinned at my wife. "Not with you here. Fuck, you took out what, eighteen newborns single-handedly? God, that was so epic," he said, his booming laugh putting a slight scowl on Elizabeth's sleeping face.

Isabella rolled her eyes at him. She didn't smile though; I could tell that she still had mixed emotions about what she had done. Jasper was leaning forward in hopeful, curious anticipation though.

"How did you do that anyways?" Jasper asked curiously. He had felt their pain, but he wasn't going to tell her that. They had all felt like they were being burned, as strong as the change had been for all of us, but were incapable of moving much besides grasping at their heads before falling over.

She shifted uncomfortably in my lap as the room watching her. "It's… kind of hard to explain. I just kind of snapped when they bit me. It was like there was this dark cloud around me, and I just used it to snuff out the lights in their minds."

"What do you mean by lights?" Rose asked curiously. I was wondering that too, though I knew my wife was powerful, I really had no idea how her gift worked, though she obviously had much more control of it now compared to when she was human.

She grinned, and closed her eyes. "I can feel every single one of you in my mind, it's like, when I close my eyes… there's a shadow of each of you, but it's made out of these beautiful, coloured lights. Almost like an aura. They change colours and brightness, each of them are so completely unique." She opened her eyes again. "I'm still getting used to it, but I feel like the different colours mean things. Whenever Elizabeth tries to speak to me, or Jasper tries to touch my emotions, it's like these yellow lights come out of them and touch me. All of the vampires that came this morning, their colours were so drastically different from ours. Reds, greys, blacks… It was sad, really, like there was no humanity in them, just anger and bloodlust."

Jasper was grinning at her. "I think you're seeing emotions, just like I feel them. That was the same feeling I got from them." His grin turned into a teasing smirk. "That's what _normal_ newborns are usually like."

"Why haven't you told me about this before?" I asked, a little hurt. She looked at me in surprise, then shrugged.

"You never asked, and I didn't think it was important." She grinned, kissing me gently. "You already know I'm crazy, I didn't want to give you more fuel for the fire." I couldn't not smile in return to hers, it was my body's automatic response to that beautiful sight. I couldn't supress the feeling of guilt though. Why hadn't I asked her about her gift? I found myself constantly and completely distracted when I was in her presence.

She slid her fingers delicately into the back of my hair, teasing my neck as she leaned in close to my face.

"Stop worrying," she breathed, so low I doubted even Carlisle and Esme on the other end of the couch heard. Then she leaned in and brushed her lips lightly against mine, smiling slightly.

"I love you," were the only words I could think of saying, tightening my hold on her. The love I felt for this woman was staggering, suffocating, all-consuming. And it just seemed to get stronger every day.

"I love you too," she whispered, piercing me with those magical eyes. God, what was she?

Emmett cleared his throat, but Isabella ignored the room for one more minute, smiling at me before she turned around. I took an unnecessary steadying breath before looking away from her.

_Dude, just try to keep it in your pants for one evening, it's Christmas for Christ's sakes_, Emmett teased. I rolled my eyes at him, kissing my wife's neck gently before resting my chin on her shoulder. I could smell myself on her, from the scar on her neck. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment, pushing back the rage from the memory of seeing another vampire's mark on her. It was easier to deal with now, knowing I'd erased the scent of his venom, covering it with my own.

I shuddered from the memory of earlier this afternoon, instinctually tightening my hold on her, then suppressed my groan when she wiggled playfully in my lap.

"So, what do we do now?" Alice asked, pulling the broken conversations of the room back together. God, I just wanted to go home. "Does this change our plans at all?"

"I don't see why," Carlisle said. I shied away from his thoughts, they were too much like my own as he played with a strand of Esme's hair absentmindedly. "If we handle the move more privately, maybe we could lose her, for a while at least. She knows where we live right now, it could only be positive for her to lose that advantage. At least temporarily anyways."

Jasper's flicker of an idea caught my attention. "That might be a really good idea Jasper."

"What idea?" Emmett asked curiously.

"He was thinking that we could set up a patrol, so we'd know if she did get close to the area. Something like the shifters in La Push do for their territory."

"Wouldn't that work both ways though? If she did go looking, she'd be able to smell our scent if she found the line, it might make it easier for her to track us down."

Jasper nodded with Isabella's logic. He loved talking strategy with her. They were an unbeatable team in any sort of strategic game. They had made up their own version of chess while my wife had still been human and on bed rest with her broken ribs, that was played in pairs with four chessboards. Even if they played against Alice and I as a team, we had no chance of beating them. Isabella blew away Alice's ability to watch Jaspers decisions, and even being able to hear Jaspers thoughts I hadn't been able to put up much as a fight against them.

"Either way, I believe we need to go ahead with the move," Carlisle said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"I hate moving in the winter," Alice groaned, making my smile. "It's going to be snowing every day until we leave, everything's going to get wet."

It wouldn't, really, but she was protective of her things. She could transfer things into the car fast enough to be barely touched by the falling snow, but it still irritated her.

"So you two are still going to head down first?" Esme asked us, and Isabella nodded with a smile. She was smiling down at Elizabeth in her arms again, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Yes, I'll be picking up our vans first thing the day after tomorrow. Rose and Emmett will be coming down with us and taking them back for you."

"We were thinking Edward and Emmett could each drive a truck. We can fit the cars and the bikes in one, and we'll only need half of the second truck for our things, so we'll be taking Rose and Emmett's things too, along with Edward's piano. I'm driving the truck down with Elizabeth, and Rose will be dropping off the Jeep," my wife said softly. She grinned when Elizabeth did in her sleep.

"She's dreaming about the spruce outside our house, filled with cardinals," I told her, and her smile brightened as she looked up at me.

"I wish I could see too," she said quietly. She had told me before that she could only talk to her, and simultaneously me if our daughter chose, if Elizabeth initiated the conversation. She looked back up at Esme. "Are you sure you don't want us to come back with them to help with your things?"

"No, we'll be fine sweetheart. We've all seen the place before, you can take the time to get to know the territory. We'll be able to get everything down in one trip with the six of us," she said with a smile.

"This is why I don't have a car," Jasper said teasingly. "They're such a hassle to move, and you all have so many of them."

"Jazz, you don't have a car because you always wreck them," Alice said sweetly, smiling up at him. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a horrible driver."

Everyone laughed at that, and we were rewarded with being filled with Jasper's annoyance as he didn't bother to contain it. Isabella laughed when she noticed us all scowl simultaneously, and the feeling suddenly vanished, along with Jasper's thoughts.

"Calm down Jasper," Isabella said with a smile. "I don't think you're a bad driver, you've never once scratched my truck," she told him easily. He smiled.

"See? I can drive well. When I want to." Alice and Emmett laughed with him.

"Are you shielding him right now?" I asked her. She grinned at me, and my words caught everyone's attention. "How often do you do that?"

She bit her lip. "All the time." Suddenly I could hear Jasper's thoughts again. "Not on Jasper, really, but if I'm having a private conversation with someone, I take advantage of the fact that it can be _a private conversation. _Like with your Christmas present." She leaned in close to my ear, "Or when I'm shopping for lingerie online with Alice," she purred quietly. "Don't you like my surprises?"

I felt my eyes darken. "I _love_ your surprises," I said with a grin.

"Well, if we're all done here, Rose and I are going to go find ourselves a Christmas Grizzly or two," Emmett said, standing up and patting his stomach.

If they weren't staying, we weren't either.

"We should get Elizabeth to bed too," Isabella said, before I could.

"You can borrow my truck to take your things back," Esme said, appearing by Isabella's side to give her a hug when she flashed to her feet.

"Thank you Esme," she said with a bright smile, kissing my mother's cheek. She handed Elizabeth over to her so she could help me move the presents into the truck. It took two trips, and as I leaned over to put the last thing in the covered bed, the amp for the guitar, I jumped when Isabella pinched my butt, and spun around to face her. She was biting down on her lip, trying to hold back her smile. "I'm not going to apologize for that," she said, burning me with her eyes. I went to grab her but she danced out of my reach, giggling as she went back inside. I chased after her, but she was much too quick for me, and by the time I reached her two seconds later Esme was handing our daughter over to her. "Are you still okay watching her tomorrow while we go to pick up the vans?"

"Of course," Esme said, barely containing her excitement to babysit her granddaughter. "You can bring the truck back when you drop her off," she said. We wished the other's a Merry Christmas again before heading back to the truck. I opened her door for her, closing it behind her before sliding into the driver's seat and starting her up. Isabella slid into my side across the bench as I pulled out of the garage, and I couldn't help the corner of my mouth from twitching up as I felt her smiling at me. Sure enough, when I turned my head to look at her, she was watching my with a bright grin.

"What?" I asked, chuckling lightly.

"I love you," she said simply.

"I love you too," I answered, reaching over and giving her knee a gentle squeeze. She leaned her head against my shoulder, and turned up the radio slightly when a Trans-Siberian Orchestra song came on the radio.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Victoria**

"That sounds like baseball," I told Laurent excitedly. I knew that if there had been any bolt of lightning within hearing distance that I would have seen it. I loved watching the brilliant colored bolts of light as they moved down slowly towards the ground and listening as the electricity tore through the air with a deafening crack. This sound was similar to that, but not exactly. There were far more of the cracking sounds then there were bolts of light, and there seemed to be a sort of lose pattern of timing. They seemed to happen every two to four minutes.

I had thought it would have been an entertaining thing to play, but had never gotten the chance in my eighty-seven years of this second life to try. It would have been boring to play with only one person. James took no enjoyment in _those_ sorts of games.

Though I had to admit his sort were also_ very_ enjoyable. Dinner was always more enjoyable if you took your time to savour the hunt first. Since James had changed me, chosen me, saved me, he had taught me many ways to learn how. He showed me what it meant to be the most powerful predator on the planet, how to enjoy our rightful place on the top of the world.

This is what I would imagine it would sound like to play baseball as a vampire, and the sound would sound so exact to a human that the lightning storm provided a very clever cover.

"Shall we go see if they could use a couple extras?" Laurent said with an intrigued grin. We were both still coming off of the high of a fresh kill. The new blood being absorbed into my body still gave me that same feeling as always. It was strange and amazing to feel adrenaline and warm bliss when you never tired or felt the cold. I saw the same thing in his bright scarlet eyes, and caught a glimpse of James rolling his eyes at us with a small grin. He didn't deny us the opportunity to investigate, and I whispered not too quietly in his ear that I would thank him later for it.

As we started running in the direction of the sound, they weren't more than three-hundred kilometers away, I started getting that sinking feeling in my stomach and stopped immediately. They stopped quickly, and turned around to look at me.

"We shouldn't go there," I told them meaningfully.

"Come on Victoria, this was your suggestion," James said in an irritated yet intrigued tone.

"You don't even want to play," I told him, irritated also. I knew what he was doing, and I hated that my warnings made him interested more that cautious most of the time.

"Maybe I changed my mind."

"Come on Victoria, we just want to play a game. We won't provoke them." The sinking feeling got worse as I thought of it. Terribly, terribly worse. I shook my head frantically.

"No, it's a really bad idea. We need to leave."

That was the wrong thing to say. James despised being told what to do, he was the leader and I was never to question that. It didn't matter though, as long as I was careful, because we were meant for each other. He loved me, he told me so himself.

"We're going. You don't have to come," he said coldly. It was a dismissal, and Laurent only gave me the briefest concerned look before turning and following James as he left. I sighed in annoyance before quickly climbing the biggest nearby tree and perching on one of the top branches.

I waited. And waited. It felt like years, but in reality, it was only two minutes.

They were in danger. Even though I could only feel when_ I_ would be in danger, I still knew they were. My mate was in danger.

I had no choice, I had to go after them.

I didn't catch up to them in time before they reached the clearing, where they were met by a coven of eight vampires.

Holy shit. I've never seen a coven that large before. I knew the Volturi were bigger obviously, but there were reasons why I'd never come face to face with them.

I watched the group carefully from the cover of the trees, but there was something about one of them that seemed… off. She moved too much, and in a clumsy sort of way, not with vampiric grace.

Then there was the sound… was that a heartbeat?

I circled around the clearing to try and get a better look at her.

She turned to look at me as if she felt my presence, and in that same second her scent hit me.

Fuck. She was the most delectable thing I had ever encountered, obviously human with her heartbeat, a slight flush of blood in her face, and warm brown and yellow eyes.

I wanted her, and I saw then that James did too. I moved forward a bit more, and was hit with that feeling like a damn train.

She was the danger? That didn't make any sense. She was just a human, just an incredibly delicious-smelling pet. But I trusted my gift completely, and knew what it was telling me.

This human is dangerous.

And then it happened, and there was nothing I could do. My James lunged for the human, who instead of shrinking back, lunged forward, throwing out her arm.

James was thrown back, though she was nowhere close to touching him, and his scream of pain was cut off as his head was torn off.

With a heart-wrenching sob, and one last glace at my friend, I turned and left him.

. . . . .

I ran and ran. I don't know for how long. It was the only thing I could do, could think of doing, and it seemed so much better than stopping and thinking about…

I fell to the ground, screaming. They killed him, they killed my mate, my James, all because of a stupid fucking snack.

This was her fault. My mate was dead because of her.

She needed to pay.

That thought, once it made its way into my mind, was all I had left. James was dead, and no doubt Laurent was too. My love and my best friend were dead.

Because of a little fucking human.

She had to pay.

. . . . .

I'm not sure how much time had passed, but I was quite surprised to find no warning feelings when I made my way back to the field. Obviously there weren't there anymore, though I found the spot in the grass where they had burned my lover. The ashes still had a trace of his scent, and I rubbed it over myself, trying to have a part of him touch me again.

But it did nothing. James was dead. Because of her.

The trail was faded, but I followed it and made my way into a near-by town. I eventually found the coven's house, but it was obvious that they had moved. There was a faint trace of the human's scent, but not enough to indicate she had lived here.

I had to find where she lived, on the possible chance they hadn't eaten her and left her behind. It didn't take long to find her small house in town, but there were two elderly people living there.

Her parents perhaps? I walked in, the door hadn't even been locked, and they both jumped in surprise at my entrance. The woman screamed.

"Shut up! Where's the girl?" I demanded.

"W-what girl? We don't know any girl," the woman whimpered, holding tightly onto her mate.

My mate was dead, and they were just all too happy to rub it in my face. "Don't play dumb with me, the girl who lives here! The one with the brown and yellow eyes, where is she?" I stalked closer to them, their heat and scent washing over as their hearts pounded frantically in fear.

"We just bought the house! We did it through a realtor, but she had just yellow eyes, not brown. We moved in two weeks ago," the man said.

"Then you're as useless as she is," I stated, walking forward and snapping the man's neck. The woman screamed again, but the sound was cut off quickly as I tore into her neck.

. . . . .

I waited until the manager was the last one in the bank before breaking through the wall. They only put the alarms on the doors and windows, but it was just as easy to crush bricks as it was to shatter glass. I followed the sound of his heart beat to an office, and walked in without knocking. His head shot up, and I could taste his fear in the air.

"W-who are you? How did you get in here?" He asked with a stutter.

"I want you to open your file for an Isabella Larose,"I told him firmly. I'm guessing it was her name, it didn't match the rest of the names on the mail in the house of my last dinner party.

"I don't know who you think you are but-" his words were broken off by a scream as I moved too quickly for him to see, and shattered the smallest finger on his left hand.

"You will do this for me now, every ten seconds you hesitate I'm going to break another finger. Then I'll move on to your toes, then your ribs." He just stared at me in horror, but only for twelve seconds. Ten before I broke the next finger, giving him two seconds to scream before he started typing with his right hand.

"Isabella Larose-Swan? " He asked in a whimper, turning his computer screen towards me. There was a photocopied picture of her driver's license to confirm her identity.

"Yes, that's her. Tell me where her last transaction has taken place."

He nodded and complied quickly, giving me the information I wanted, so I killed him fairly quickly.

. . . . .

It took a couple months to figure it out and do this safely. Their coven must be gifted, because there was only one way I could get close enough to see her without the warning kicking in.

I had to think of her, and only her, and only of watching her. I could only do it from a certain distance, but could get closer to her when she was alone. I had to stay in the water to cover my scent.

But I saw her, and him. I saw_ them_. A vampire in love with a human. They were so fucking happy, rebuilding their house, or reading, or… other things.

My mate was dead, and this human had taken a vampire for a mate of her own. She was protected.

Surely, if the Volturi knew, they would put an end to this abomination, but I didn't have the luxury of being able to tell them. Yes, James was dead, but they'd still want my head for my participation in the newborn battles in Mexico.

So I waited, and listened, and watched from afar. Just waiting for my opportunity.

. . . . .

She had stopped going to school, apparently she had some sort of sickness, which put me on edge. They'd either changed her, making my chances of ending her even more difficult, or she would die a death that was much too good for her. She needed to suffer, and my need in being the one to make it happen put me on edge.

It was a bright, sunny day when it happened.

They left her alone.

She was sitting out on a hammock in the sun wearing a purple silk dress, and appeared to be reading a book.

I advanced slightly, and that warning came again.

It must have been her that threw James before he died. I don't know how she did it, but I was certain. What other reason could be used to explain why she was apparently dangerous?

I moved forward a bit more, pushing against my feeling that was pulling me like a magnet in the opposite direction. I wanted to feel her blood on my hands so desperately, it was all I had left.

I watched from below the surface of the lake as her head shot up, and she stared at the exact spot where I was curiously. It reminded me of when she turned to look at me in the clearing, like she had felt me there.

What is she?

I watched as she took out her phone, talking to someone.

The feeling quadrupled. I needed to leave.

But I was so close. I let my head break the surface of the water, and heard her whisper into the phone.

"It's the red headed Vampire from New Brunswick."

I could hear him close now, her mate, and even heard him shatter his phone.

My time was up, I wasted my opportunity.

So I fled. I was surrounded by water for days, but it was my own anger I drowned in. I had been so close.

I needed help. It wasn't possible to do this on my own, they'd be on alert now. I needed someone to distract her coven so I could get to her.

But I couldn't go to the Volturi, they'd destroy me before I got my revenge. I needed someone, I needed a lot of someones, and they needed to be strong…

That's when it hit me. It was risky, but it was a chance I needed to take.

. . . . .

It took months, because I couldn't do it myself. Every time I went to change someone for my army, I got the warning. Something bad would happen if I changed them myself.

Except for one. It was looking at Riley that gave me the idea. It helped that he looked so much like my James, but he was pathetic and needy. I needed him though, so I tolerated him. After convincing him that there was a human controlling a bunch of yellow-eyed vampires, that she had killed my friends and was set on killing me, that gave Riley the idea to make me an army. I told him to think of only the human, that the vampires were useless and it was her that had the power. He wanted to know what she was, to be able to do that, and I entertained him with my own possibilities. Maybe she was some sort of witch, or a shifter, or some sort of fairy. I'd never met one personally, but my mother had told me stories as a child, and all the people that they had burned in fear of their powers back in my hometown of Salem. I really didn't care what she was, because all she was to be was a soon-to-be-dead bag of meat and bones.

. . . . .

We thought it would be a dramatic day to do it, and I smiled to myself picturing the human smiling, opening presents, just for us to fall down on them and destroy them in the middle of whatever humans did on Christmas Day.

The crowd was getting smaller. I'd left Mexico with thirty-five, and by the time we were in the river leading to the lake I had spent so many months in, I only had twenty-six left.

I couldn't care less if all of them died, as long as they gave me that one opening to get to her.

"Baby, we're stronger, you should let us go ahead," Riley said, sliding his hands over my hips. I fought the urge to laugh in his idiotic face, he was making this so easy for me.

The crowd was getting anxious, no doubt there minds were reeling still from the scent on the towel I had managed to procure in the summer. It had blown right off the railing of their deck, eventually making its way to the water before I took it. She did smell exceptional, and I would enjoy that taste, and draw out her death for as long as possible.

This was it.

I didn't quite believe what I saw when it happened. The human looked different, her skin was like a vampire's now, and so was her speed.

I watched in stunned silence, as she threw not one person back like she had with James, but all twenty six of them at once, before her and six other vampires burst forward.

She was moving like a vampire.

But her eyes were brown.

There were too many of them though, and my emotions were warring with themselves, not sure whether to panic because my army was still attacking her like she was a human, swarming her, or to be happy to see her coven outnumbered so drastically.

The sound of her scream was the most beautiful music to my ears, but the joy didn't last long. She threw the swarm off of herself with that invisible power again, and then she was moving everywhere, tearing apart limbs, but she was outnumbered.

And then… I'm not sure what really happened. The rest of them fell to the ground at once, screaming in pain, and she was a blur of motion as she started destroying them.

I had one look at her now-crimson coloured eyes, and fled.

I'd failed again.

. . . . .

I just wanted to die. All that was left was the emptiness that James left with me, and my burning rage and desire for revenge.

But I didn't know what to do anymore. There was really only one thing I could do.

It was about a year later that I found them again after she had destroyed my army. I could still watch her, as long as I didn't get too close to her mate, or the male vampire with the sandy-brown hair.

So I did. And what I saw… well, saying it amazed me would be an understatement.

There was a child. A child unlike any I had ever seen. That it was hers biologically was obvious, the similarities were intense.

But this child seemed closer to the age of two or three. The age didn't sit right with me, but it was also obvious that this child wasn't human.

Or vampire, although she reminded me instantly of the one immortal child I had seen. Her skin seemed somewhere between a human and a vampires; although it looked strong like ours, there was still a flush of blood in her cheeks.

Then there was her scent.

Her quick heartbeat.

And her bitch of a mother's eyes.

It just wasn't possible, that they had conceived it together. That was unheard of… but I couldn't think of any other explanation. The child was part human, and part vampire.

It fed off animals like the rest of them.

And she was growing.

I watched as much as I could, for an entire year. They almost caught me a few times, but they weren't close enough. I followed them when they moved once more, finding it curious how they seemed to blend in so well with the human population. They had jobs, the younger looking ones went to school.

And her mate wasn't constantly by her side anymore. It was rare that her daughter wasn't with her, but her daughter wasn't a threat.

She was. I couldn't get close to her, and no matter how long I thought about it, there was just no other way.

She needed to die, even if it wasn't by my hands, I had to make sure that she met her death.

And I now had a way to insure it. The Volturi's rules were unbendable. Creating an immortal child was a death sentence, and no one would believe that the child was actually half human.

So I started my journey to Italy.

My revenge was worth dying for. James was worth dying for. I couldn't keep living without him anyways. Though I wouldn't get to taste her blood, feel it on my hands, or make her scream, it was still my best option.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Aro**

She was absolutely filthy, the torn, threadbare clothes she was wearing must have been on her for years. Really, how hard was it to take a shirt from a human, steal one, or anything really?

"And what do you want?" My brother asked sharply. Caius of course, Marcus still wasn't speaking. It had been almost two thousand years, but he hadn't changed.

His alliance was with me now though, above all others, the way it should be. The way it will stay for all of time.

"I've come to report a crime," the red-haired woman said in an even voice. "A coven in America… they've created an immortal child."

This got the room's attention, it had been well over six decades since we've had to deal with something like this.

"A strange coven, I think they have gifts, but I can't be sure… They have yellow eyes, and drink the blood of animals. They've even told a human about our secrets."

Carlisle. As soon as she mentioned the yellow eyes, I knew he would have something to do with this. It seems like my old friend has been busy.

"Come here my child, and show me your proof," I said, holding out my hand. She didn't move forward, but took a step backwards, clasping her hands tightly.

It seems she had something to hide.

"Jane?"

The woman fell to the floor of our throne room as Felix walked over and yanked her to her feet, twisted an arm behind her back, gripped onto her throat with his other hand, and led her forwards towards me.

I took her hand, and stared at her in disbelief. She had many things to hide.

Her escape from the prosecution of the new-born battles, not to mention the army she had managed to create undetected only two years ago.

She was telling the truth about the secret being shared with a human, as I witnessed her mate being killed in her memories. How she thought the exquisite human had thrown him somehow.

Carlisle was there, and he had been busy. He had an entire coven that he had kept hidden from me. It was too much power, something needed to be done about it.

And this woman had given me the excuse I needed.

But there was more. The human had been changed. But her eyes were not red or gold, but a glowing brown mixed with gold.

Her daughter's eyes were very similar. Her Half. Vampire. Daughter.

It wasn't possible, but the proof was right there.

And this strange vampire in herself was too powerful, she had all but destroyed a vampire army herself.

"You were right in reporting this crime to us, my child. Thank you."

She took my hand again, surprising me, and I saw the memory of her most recent thought.

_Please, do what I could not. She needs to be destroyed._

I gave her a rare smile. "Of course my child."

"I accept my punishment for my crimes," she said to the room, closing her eyes.

I felt almost sympathetic for her. Almost. So I rewarded her for the information she had brought to me.

"Alec?"

The woman sighed, then went still as her body was taken over by Alec's gift before I gave Felix the order to dispose of her. I turned to my brothers.

"It seems our old, dear friend Carlisle has been quite busy over the last century or so. It's about time we paid him a visit I think."

**Thank you for reading. Only one Chapter left.**


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six: The End

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Chapter Thirty-Six  
The End**

**Isabella**

It was a concept that still baffled me; never sleeping. My life had been like one endless day since I became what I am now. Five-hundred and seventy-three days all joined together into one seemingly endless dream.

We had spent a wonderful year away from the world with our family on our large property against the Nicolet National Forest. It was something the entire family really needed, because when I thought of it, compared to what they had told me about their lives before our paths crossed, so much had happened over the last few years. We all needed the break, and Elizabeth had been growing too quickly to allow her to be seen by a human population. The hunting was bountiful, our home and lands exquisitely beautiful, and our family had been contented.

After that one year, when my daughter had been nearing a year and a half in age, she looked closer to the age of four, but by that time her growth had slowed to that of almost a human. She was so beautiful, not just on the outside, but her soul. She was such a sweet, caring person, and her aura would always been one of my favourite things to see. The brilliant mixtures of deep violets and royal blues, always flickering with the bright lemon yellows of her gift that she still preferred to use over talking aloud. It was quite breathtaking.

The most amazing one to date though still belongs to my husband. The way his colours shift when he looks at me… there are no words.

We had spent a lot of time trying to search for some sort of information, myths or legends that might tell us more about her, but there was really nothing of substance that we could go off of. Alice couldn't see her future, just like she couldn't see mine. Emmett had suggested maybe travelling the world, maybe looking for any possibilities, but my husband and Jasper had both quickly agreed with me that it wouldn't be safe. I had learned much about vampire history, and at Elizabeth's age, we didn't want her to be seen by another vampire, and have them mistake her as an immortal child. We had found traces of Victoria's scents a few times, but she never made a move to come too close to us. It seemed she was just keeping tabs on us- on me- and we were concerned enough about the possibility that she had seen Elizabeth.

But since her growth had slowed so much, we had decided as a family to once again join into a human community. I felt slightly guilty that I had ruined my family's moving pattern in Forks when I had been human. They usually came into North America from the West Coast and travelled to the east before going to South America. Esme had told me about her second-favourite home in British Columbia that they had to skip over, and since Alice saw problems arising from previous human acquaintances of theirs in the other two cities they had left to go to, we had decided to move there before leaving North America for the next sixty years or so. We weren't sure quite how long we would stay, because Alice did have some blind spots, but we decided to play it by ear. I really hoped we could stay for at least two years; though it didn't bother her, it bothered me that my daughter had still yet to live in one home for more than a year.

The house Edward had purchased for us was stunning to say the least. It was a hundred acre lot so we still had our privacy. The land was on a bit of an incline, and to the west of the house we saw the Pacific Ocean, and to the North and West of us we were backed by breath-taking, snow-capped mountains. The house was very new, having been built in the last ten years, and we had all fallen in love with the artwork that was the carpentry and masonry of the log mansion, for lack of a better word. It was a three level home with a cavernous five car garage.

So now, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose were once again in High School, and Edward and Carlisle were back to working at a hospital. We had given Elizabeth the option of attending an elementary school if she so desired, despite her actual age she was more than mature enough to make the decision herself. She declined, and I really did not blame her. Her father and I had been homeschooling her, and I know it would have been incredibly tedious, and most likely depressing having to act at a maturity level so much lower than the one she had. So I was continuing with the homeschooling, and my daughter accompanied myself and her grandmother while we worked.

Esme, as a 'young mother of four teenagers' didn't exactly have time for a full time job, and I was posing as a stay-at-home mother myself, but we had quickly gotten bored and gone into business together. Maybe it was a little early to be saying that, as we were just finishing flipping our first house together. It was definitely a dream job for the both of us, seeing as neither of our own homes needed any repairs. Elizabeth wasn't very into home renovations though, so she spent the time while we worked in her studies, reading, or drawing.

Edward had been working overtime for the past few weeks, and although he didn't sleep, and therefore didn't get tired, it was still hard. After having him constantly by my side for so long, I missed him terribly during his long hours. He texted me once again, saying he had to stay late again tonight as I finished painting the trim in one of the bedrooms, and I replied that it would be fine with a frown on my face.

He sent me another message, saying he was sorry and that he missed me, and I once again told him not to worry about it.

I decided then to see how much he missed me, and went to find Esme on the main floor.

"Hey Esme?"

"Yes dear?" She said, turning around from her window frame with her comforting smile.

"I need to head out for an hour or two, do you mind watching Elizabeth while I'm gone?"

_I don't need a babysitter mom_, she said to the both of us, making us laugh.

"I know sweetheart, but you look like you're four, which you technically aren't yet. It would be neglectful parenting to leave you on your own," I said with a smile, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. She rolled her eyes at me, looking so much like her father as she did so.

"Ellie and I will keep each other company," Esme said with a wink, and went back to her painting.

_Are you going to see dad?_ She asked, giving me a tight hug. I hugged her back just as tightly. It was another one of my unique, strange qualities. About three months after I'd been changed, Emmett beat me at my first arm wrestle. A month later, I couldn't even win against Alice. I was still stronger than Elizabeth, I could bend steel like paper and crush rocks like marshmallows, but I wasn't nearly as strong as any of my vampire family members.

"Yes, I'll be stopping by the hospital on my way," I hedged, because I definitely wasn't going to tell her what I planned on doing when I got there.

_Give him a hug for me?_ She asked when a small frown. I kissed her again on her cheek.

"Of course I will. I love you."

_Love you too_, she said with another eye roll, but she was smiling.

I went back home and got changed, putting on a nice lacy black number and my three-quarter-length tanned leather jacket with a nice pair of black heels. I stopped off in our barely-touched kitchen, grabbing a paper bags, and throwing a pair of socks in it before jumping into my Ferrari and making my way over to my husband's hospital.

I went up to the fourth floor, and down the long hall towards his office. I'd stopped bothering with the sunglasses. It was strange, how my brown eyes made humans more uncomfortable than my family's golden eyes. They were never left to suffer long though, because what was even stranger was the fact that humans never remembered me. I could have a full conversation with someone, and as soon as I walked away from them they'd forget everything I said until I talked to them once more. It was definitely strange, but useful for the fact that rumours wouldn't be spread about me. Humans didn't talk about me behind my back.

Edward must have heard their thoughts, because he came out of his office with a dazzling smile as I made the halfway point in the hallway. He met me half way, grinning at me as he slid his arm around my waist and looked into my eyes for a long moment before kissing the hell out of me.

"So, I take it you don't mind surprise visits?" I asked with a chuckle when he finally released my lips, shooting a glare at someone behind me. As we stayed in one spot, I started seeing the muddy colours of unease spreading through the people around us when I blinked, and tried to fish out my sunglasses because I really hated causing those colours.

"Quite contrary, I'm ecstatic. To what do I owe this immense pleasure though?" He said, stealing my sunglasses when I tried to put them on.

"Edward-"

"No, don't hide your eyes from me love, they're the most beautiful eyes on the entire planet. Don't worry about what they think, I don't want them looking at you anyways," he said, tightening his grip on me.

Yes, he'd become slightly territorial since we joined the public once more, but it was harmless. He was still adapting.

His words had been too quick and quiet for our sudden audience to hear, so when I gave up I went back into my louder voice. "You said you needed to work late, I thought I'd bring you something to eat," I said, holding up the paper bag and shaking it. The corner of his mouth twitched as he raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you," he said, trying not to laugh. "I think I'll take a break right now, would you like to join me?"

"I was hoping you'd ask," I said, handing him the paper bag as he led me into his office with his hand on my back. We walked over to his desk, and as he went to sit down, I turned back to the door and locked it. I then smiled at him, leaning against the door as he opened the paper bag curiously.

"Socks?" He said with a laugh. "Very appetising. Why are you all the way over there?" He stood back up, that crooked smile still playing on his lips.

"I never said lunch was in the bag," I purred, opening up my coat and dropping it to the floor. He was in front of me in the same second, a low growl vibrating in his chest as he ran his hands down my sides, then trailed his nose along my throat, then his tongue.

"Mmm," he hummed into my ear, making me shiver in pleasure. "Delicious."

I pulled his face to mine, kissing him fiercely before he pushed me up against the door, his hands holding me up by my waist. I moaned, wrapping my legs around him as my hands slid into his hair.

"I missed you," I murmured into his mouth between kisses, and his mouth left mine, moving down my throat, along my collar bone…

"God, Isabella, I missed you too. Every second away from you is agony," he moaned.

"Edward, I missed you inside of me." He growled, snapping the strap of my bra with his teeth. "Please," I moaned, gasping as he ripped my bra right off and took my breast in his mouth.

"Someone might hear," he warned, his voice dripping with want.

"I want them to. I want them to know you're mine, _Doctor Cullen_." He hissed and I ground myself against him, his grip bordering on painful.

But I didn't bruise, and I loved how tight he held me.

In the next second he'd ripped off his belt, and my panties were shredded before he thrust into me against the door.

No one interrupted us. We did try to keep it down, and when I eventually left I couldn't hide the shit-eating grin I had on my face. I stopped by the house first to get changed, checked my phone to make sure I didn't have any messages then stopped at my dresser when I got a whiff of a curious scent. It was sweet, but had an almost burnt quality to it. It was oddly familiar.

I stopped in front of my mother's little cubed box, and picked it up. The smell was gone now, but I was sure it had come from here.

Curiously, I opened the box and laid out its contents on my dresser, sniffing and inspecting each one almost hectically because the more I thought about it, the more certain I was that the scent was that same as a burning vampire.

I stopped last on the deck of tarot cards, my brow furrowing when they felt almost warm.

"What are you doing mom…" I whispered into my empty house. This wasn't the first time by far that I'd held these cards since becoming a vampire, I loved the hand-painted pictures and I got the strangest urges to touch them sometimes. I'd thought they'd felt warm before, but it was slight enough to give me a thousand excuses for the anomaly.

Not today though, the cards were _warm_. I shuffled through them, and stopped when I reached one in particular.

The beautiful heart with wings. My mother had looked so happy when she'd seen this card but… I had no idea why. I'd gotten books on tarot to try and figure out the messages the cards had apparently shared with her, but this wasn't a normal deck. It didn't have the usual cards, so I didn't know what a lot of them meant.

I started shuffling again, and one of the cards somehow managed to slip of the deck. I caught it easily.

The picture on this one was black, but it had an almost shattered-glass look to it. Then it felt like my body started moving on autopilot as I set the card on my dresser, shuffled, then stopped and flipped the top card onto the table next to the other. Its picture was dark too, a cluster of ominous shadowed figures on the upside down card.

I felt uneasy, on edge. This meant something, and I had no damn clue what it was. With a sigh, I put the two cards back in the pile, and put everything else back in the box except for the cards.

I put the deck in my pocket as my phone buzzed, and I grinned when I saw Alice's message.

**Giant sale tonight, want to pick me up from school? Bring Ellie, she needs more summer clothes!**

She didn't really, I'd have to get rid of one item in her huge closet for every new thing we bought, because there just wasn't any room left. She loved shopping with her aunt though.

**I'll ask her first, but I doubt she'll decline. See you soon.**

After shooting that off, I grabbed my purse and jumped back into my Ferrari to pick up my daughter.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was crammed into a dressing room with Alice, helping her with another zipper on another dress. We'd been here for three hours and it was wearing on me. I refused to put my shield down when I was out with my daughter though. If I couldn't see her with my eyes, I watched her colours in my mind. I couldn't really define what I saw. Unlike with Jasper, I couldn't actually feel what people did, but her over-all colours were their usually bright, happy ones that I loved. She was fine.

Alice's dress looked awesome, and she ordered me out of my jeans to try on a skirt.

"What's in your pocket?" She asked curiously, eying the large rectangle object.

"Oh yes! I've been meaning to ask you, have you ever read tarot cards before?" If I was going to ask anyone about looking into the future, she was my obvious choice. She groaned.

"Yes, actually. They're completely ridiculous. I studied them for a while just out of boredom, and it wasn't often they matched my visions."

"Hmm… Well, the thing is, I'm pretty sure my mom made these cards, because it's not a normal set. I have no idea what some of them mean…" I opened up the parcel, and took the two cards that I had pulled earlier off the top of the deck.

And ignoring the memory of my mother saying you should be careful of who you let touch your cards, I handed them to Alice.

"Do you know what these mean?"

She reached out, and as soon as her delicate fingers touched the cards, she gasped, and I caught her as she collapsed.

Vampires don't collapse, so I was understandably freaked out. Her eyes had that far-away, almost glazed look, but they were combined with fear and pain. This was not good.

"Alice? Talk to me sweetie. What do you see?"

She didn't seem to hear me, so I just held her tighter. Elizabeth heard me, and slipped into our changing room worriedly.

"Is Aunt Alice okay?"

"She will be, it's just a vision, it will pass and she'll be fine," I assured her in calm voice. She was worried though, and curled herself against me, under my arm as she held onto me tightly and watched her aunt.

"They're coming," Alice whispered two minutes later.

"Who's coming?"

Alice eyed her niece worriedly, but she decided to say whatever it was she needed to say. "The Volturi, and their guard."

"Why?" Elizabeth whispered.

"Victoria went to them."

That didn't make sense, they had told me… "I thought she was in hiding from them?"

"She decided your death was worth hers, even if it meant she couldn't do it herself. She told them that you were still a human and that… Ellie is an immortal child," she whispered. A low growl escaped my lips as her story sank in. They wanted to destroy my daughter. We left our things in the changing room and hurried out to the car so we could speak in private.

"I thought Aro could see every thought though if he touched someone? Wouldn't he have seen that she was lying?"

"Yes, but it seems he's decided to keep that information to himself. I think…" She shook her head, trying to clear away a thought, but it didn't work.

"It's okay Alice, tell me your theory," I told her in a soothing voice. I didn't like my daughter hearing this, but I knew if I didn't include her in this she probably have a tantrum and then find out later on anyways.

"We're the second largest coven in the world Belle. He didn't know that until Victoria showed it to him. Carlisle has tried to keep us a secret because he's worried about Aro trying to… recruit, Edward, Jasper and I. I think he sees us as a threat, and Victoria's silent confession gave him all the reasons he needed to prosecute. The Volturi don't hold trials, they rule with an iron fist and destroy what doesn't please them."

"How long? Do we have time to stop her?" Elizabeth asked in an oddly calm tone.

"No, she's almost there," Alice said curiously. "She must have been doing that thing where she only concentrates on you, because I didn't see her until…"

"Until you touched my cards?" She nodded, eying them warily. I had a feeling that I knew what one of them meant now. She touched the card with the shadows. The Volturi are coming for us.

"But how long?" Elizabeth asked again, sounding annoyed that she was being ignored.

"I… I'm not sure, but I think… Damn it! I can't see!"

Trusting my gut, I unwrapped my cards again, shuffling through the pictures until I found one that I was fairly sure I knew the meaning too.

It had a painting of an hour glass on it. I held it out to Alice.

"I, I don't know if I want to touch it," she said uncomfortably. "It was like… that card with the shadow _forced_ the vision on me, I've never felt that before."

"There's no guarantee that it will do anything Alice. Don't you think it's worth a shot to possibly find out how long we have?"

She sighed, and nodded, but it was a full minute before she reached out and touched the card. She whimpered, pulling back her hand like she'd been burned.

"Five days. They'll be here in five days."

"How do they find us?" Elizabeth asked politely, still not seeming shaken.

I realized then that I wasn't exactly worried either. I just wanted as much information as possible.

"The Volturi have a tracker, Demetri. He has a gift; all he has to do is think of someone, someone who he has met at least once before, and he knows exactly where said person is. He's impossible to hide from."

"So, it would be Carlisle he'd be tracking then?" She nodded.

"Mom?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"We need to go to the mountains, so they don't get too close to the city."

"I think you're right dear." I gave her a reassuring smile in the rear view mirror, and started the car. Alice was looking between us warily.

"Why are you being so calm Belle?"

I'm sure she already knew the answer to that question, but I answered anyways.

"Elijah."

Alice's face went from confused, to understanding, to horror, and then acceptance. She nodded, and I saw her visibly relax in her seat.

"Mom, who's Elijah?"

"He was a vampire. A vampire who sealed the fate of the Volturi five years ago."

. . . . . . . . .

Alice sent out the messages for a family meeting as we drove home, and we arrived at the main house to everyone sitting around the dining room table. It was used only for important family discussions now, which didn't happen very often. She took her seat next to Jasper, and Elizabeth chose to sit on my lap instead of her own chair. I didn't mind at all. Mentally, she had grown so much so quickly, I cherished these moments, because I knew too soon she'd start thinking she was too old for this sort of thing. The thought alone made me tighten my hold on her as I kissed her hair.

"So, what's this about?" Carlisle asked curiously, looking between Alice and I.

"I had a vision today," Alice started, and she had the room's complete attention. "Victoria has gone to the Volturi, telling them that not only are we harbouring a human who knows our secret, but that we created an immortal child." There were several gasps, and Edward quickly pulled me into his lap, but she kept talking. "Aro touched her, so he knows it's not true, but he's kept the knowledge of the truth to himself. I only know what he said aloud. It looked like she was communicating silently with him, and he agreed with whatever it was she asked and assured her he would. Then he turned to Marcus and Caius, saying that you had been busy Carlisle, and that they needed to visit you." She took a deep breath, and quickly blurted out her theory. "I think he sees the size of our coven as a threat, and he's using Victoria's false accusation as an excuse to eliminate us."

"Do you know how soon they'll-"

"Five days."

The room was silent for a few minutes, my family all as still as statues as they processed this information. Edward turned me around in his lap, cupping my face with one hand, and combing his fingers through our daughter's hair with the other.

"You understand what I have to do, right?" I asked quietly. His face was tortured, but Edward knew me better than anyone one in the world. He knew I didn't have a choice in this. He knew, even as a human, how much I had craved my revenge.

And this was my chance. I had waited for this, for five years, and now in five days the day would finally be here.

We gazed into each other's eyes for a long time, until he nodded his head the tiniest bit.

"Elizabeth," he said quietly. "It's almost your bedtime. We're staying here tonight, because we have to talk about things that aren't appropriate for you to hear." She narrowed her eyes at him, and if it was any other day that look would have made him laugh. "No, we're not going to keep secrets from you. But there are things you don't need to hear. When you wake up in the morning, we'll be able to answer all of your questions." She nodded, and she said goodnight to all of us in her special way before Edward asked Esme if she could tuck her in. She agreed, probably knowing that she wouldn't enjoy this conversation either. She was too loving.

Just like Carlisle, but really, I had no choice in this. As soon as they were clear he turned to me with slightly frantic eyes.

"Isabella, I know you harbour a grudge against-"

"No, Carlisle. You don't get to defend them! They're coming to destroy us, with accusations that they know are false," Edward growled. "They want to destroy our family, _your mate."_

"Only Aro knows, the others aren't at fault for his misgivings! She'll slaughter the entire damn guard!"

I flinched at his words. But held my head high.

"So, you would you prefer that these corrupt vampires live over a whole tribe of humans and shifters Carlisle? Because that's what's going to happen. If we can get them to stop and listen to us plead our case before they try and destroy us, no matter whose hand he touched, he's going to find out about the Quileutes, and you know he won't let them live. Especially knowing they killed Elijah. If they walk, it's the end of that tribe."

"You don't know that they're corrupt, they-"

"So, you're saying it is just to not let someone plead their case before execution? That it's just to live off of the lives of humans? To send out vampires to force this life on unsuspecting people? To live in a castle and dictate what's right and what's wrong because he thinks himself invincible?!" He stared at me, and I knew that that my words had finally gotten to him. "Carlisle, I'm not saying that I'm going to kill every red-eyed vampire I meet because I believe it's right. Aro doesn't get to live. No one that wishes us harm gets to live. I will only do what I have to, to make sure our family is safe."

"You know there's no other way Carlisle," Jasper said. "I'm sorry that he was your friend, but I agree with Belle."

"So do I," Emmett said, who was quickly joined by Rose. Alice leaned into Jasper's side and gave me a nod to confirm she had my back as well. Edward and Carlisle were locked in a silent conversation. Something looked… uncomfortable about his expression.

"I don't know what good that will accomplish Carlisle, is it really necessary?"

"They're family Edward, they've been cut off for too long, they deserve to know what's happening, it could only be beneficial to have some witnesses to prove Ellie isn't a danger, and if we're going to destroy the whole damn Royal Family they should probably know it before this all falls apart!" He glared at me, and it was the only time in my existence that I've seen Carlisle look mad. And it was directed at _me._

Why couldn't he see that I. Had. No. Choice. It was them or the pack, and that was a damn easy choice for me to make. Did he really care about these murders more than human lives?

"Do not speak to my wife like that," Edward growled ferociously. "She's doing what's right, it's not her fault that your emotions are clouding your judgement Carlisle. You need to think about what you're defending more carefully before you open your mouth again."

Carlisle gaped at him, along with everyone else at the table. I was watching Carlisle though, as his face shifted to an expression of regret and embarrassment. The room was quiet for a few minutes while Carlisle took Edward's instructions to heart and thought long and hard about what he was defending.

"You're right, they aren't just. I know that. But they're necessary Isabella, without the threat of them the vampires of the world will be uncontrolled, it could be a disaster. I'm afraid… I'm afraid of something similar to what happened to you in the battle with the newborns happening again, because I believe that not all of them are guilty. Some might not even want to be there, or have no choice. I just don't want to see unnecessary bloodshed."

"I don't think that's fair," Jasper said, and I could see him influencing the rest of the room with something. "The newborns, that was an unseen, surprise ambush. We were about to die." He turned and looked me straight in the eyes as he continued, speaking to me. "You're powerful Isabella, there is no doubt about that. If I saw your sort of power in any other person, I would be afraid for not only my own life, but most likely the fate of this world. But you, we've all known you for so long now, and you're just… good. You could do so much good. _Together_, this family could do so much good. We could change the world for the better. That Christmas Isabella, you lost control. We all know that, but under the circumstances, I don't think anyone could blame you. And Edward was able to snap you out of it. But this, we know what is coming. We can control it. We all know their only way to track us easily, what they will do, is use Demetri to find Carlisle. In five days. We have an advantage for some semblance of control." He paused for a moment, looking at each of our family members' eyes before turning back to me once more. "This all really comes down to you though. They have numbers and powerful weapons, and our only chance for this is to be able to stop them once they reach us. Can you do that?"

I gave him my private version of a smirk. Letting him inside of my shield, so he was both covered from Edward and able to feel my emotions, showing him my utter confidence that I could accomplish just that. "I can shield our family from them, or I can trap them. Whichever is needed." I turned to Carlisle then, wanting to do what I could to reassure him, though his lack of faith in me had really stung. "I did lose control that day Carlisle, but I won't let that happen again. We have five days, we can plan this and be careful."

"Okay, let's back up for a moment and come back to this," Rose threw in. "Carlisle, were you thinking of contacting the Denalis?"

"I think they deserve to know, and they're only a day's run from here. We should contact them now, and give them enough time to decide if they will stand witness for us."

"I agree but… you know they're not going to deal well with being introduced to Ellie," Jasper said, and I saw his eyes flicker briefly to my husband with an amused smirk. Hmm.

"I would like to meet your cousins," I said, watching my husband's face as I spoke. "If they're family, I'm sure there's some way you can get them to hear us out. Even with their pasts, if they just listen, they'll see that she isn't like one of those children. They were destroyed because their minds were trapped in that young state. Elizabeth is intelligent, compassionate, and much more mature than Emmett. And she continues to grow, she blends in better than any of us."

"So, does anyone object to me informing them?" Carlisle said curiously, looking around the table. Everyone agreed, even Esme as she came back and joined us. Rose filled her in as Carlisle made the call. Then we all sat in silence for about… a minute before Jasper leaned forward with a determined smile on his face.

"So, this is what I was thinking…"

. . . . . . . . . .

We spent the night in deep conversation while my daughter slept, going over maps to find the best place to reduce human casualties. They were moving by foot because there were fifty-seven of them in total, to large an amount to not draw attention at an airport. They'd be coming to America through the Atlantic Ocean and running the entire way. I feared for any humans that might cross their path, as they'd be travelling such a long distance across the country it made the odds that they'd cross a human's path so much higher. There was nothing we could do now though but ensure that we were nowhere close to an inhabited area. Just as Elizabeth had said, we were going to go into the mountains. We'd wait there for the day that they'd come to help steer them in the right direction. None of us minded the snow.

When Elizabeth woke up, Edward and I talked to her alone about what was happening. That we were going to stop the Volturi and explain that Aro was misleading them, that she was not a full vampire, and therefore not one of their immortal children. And then we told her that the Denali coven would be arriving by the end of the day.

We went out hunting, the three of us. Elizabeth didn't need as much as blood as a vampire, but she needed to feed more regularly. We had gotten into the habit of sharing our kills just because it was efficient. Edward came with us on the days he needed to feed, like today, but we usually went out by ourselves. She had her music lessons with her father, I had hunting.

Once we were all finished, we ran back to our house, cleaned up and got changed, and Edward went in to work for a couple of hours. He needed to arrange things for time off for the next week. Elizabeth and I did our lessons before she took a nap. The Denalis weren't supposed to arrive until eleven at night, which was way past her bedtime, so she needed the rest. I kept busy with cleaning for the afternoon; the most annoying part of being a vampire, I found, was all of the damn dust that my weak human eyes hadn't been able to see. It was everywhere, always, and no matter how hard I tried it was unbeatable force.

Esme told me it took her about six years to come to terms with.

. . . . . . . . . .

Edward came home at ten to see us before heading over to the main house. Elizabeth and I waited at our house until midnight while they told them our story. Edward called us half past midnight giving us the okay. Elizabeth was sleepy, but it was overpowered by her nervousness. I hated seeing it affect her aura like it was, but I could feel it in her tense little frame as she clung to my back as well.

"Sweetie, you have nothing to be nervous about. Daddy explained what's going on, they just want to meet us."

_But what if they don't like me? _

I stopped for a minute at the edge of the property, and lifted her over my head to balance her on her hip. God, she's gotten so big. "Elizabeth, I guarantee you that, once they know you, they will love you. These people are family. I haven't met them myself, but if everyone else trusts them then I think we should too."

She let out a small huff, then tightened her hold on me before giving me a nod to go ahead. I kissed her cheeks again and again until she burst into giggles before walking up to the house. Edward was waiting for us on the front step, and gave us each a kiss before leading us in with a hand on the small of my back.

We walked into the room with six new vampires, and stopped as we regarded each other for a long minute. I looked around for someone to say something, but the room was tense. I let out a sigh, and elbowed Edward lightly before speaking.

"It's very nice to finally meet you. I'm Isabella, and this is my daughter Elizabeth. We're heard so much about you," I said with a smile. They were still watching me warily.

"Hi," Elizabeth said quietly, waving slightly with one of her little hands. I gave her a proud smile before I kissed her forehead. It was very rare that she would speak aloud in front of strangers.

The woman with the black hair, Carmen I assumed, was the first one to speak to us, her husband looking panicked as she walked over with a warm smile. Her colours were calm and happy, so I did nothing to stop her advance.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, both of you," she said sweetly. Elizabeth blushed as she smiled up at the new woman timidly.

_Mom, can I talk to her like this?_ Elizabeth asked hopefully.

"Why don't you ask?" I said hopefully, she was doing so well, but she just shook her head.

"Ask me what?" She asked curiously, and I smiled at the sweet woman.

"Elizabeth has her own way of speaking, would it be okay if she showed you?"

"Of course," she said happily, which made my daughter beam, and then Carmen gasped.

Her mate was next to her in the same second. "Carmen, what's-"

"Shh," she scolded, holding up her hand to him as she closed her eyes and smiled. I wish I knew what she was showing her, and I looked over to my husband who smiled brightly.

"Oh! How lovely," Carmen cooed, smiling brightly once again. I could see it working all ready, my daughter was a very hard person not to adore. She held out her hands for Carmen to pick her up, who gave me a questioning, yet hopeful look before I handed my daughter over to her.

I looked at the others, two males and the three Denali sisters. They looked slightly more relaxed.

Except for Carmen's mate. He was watching me… nervously?

Finally, Edward remembered his manners and started doing introductions. "Love, this is Carmen's mate Elezar, Tanya, Kate, Irina, and Kate's mate Garrett." He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him while he spoke, and when I noticed Tanya's irritated look, I took a peak at her aura, but I didn't really see anything off.

Garrett came over first, and shook my hand with a big smile. "Nice to meet you Isabella. I have to admit, I didn't believe a thing Carlisle was saying until you walked in. Wow. You seem nice enough though." He gave me a wink, and then Kate walked over, looping an arm through his and shaking my hand with the other. She held my hand for an oddly long amount of time while she said hello, and I saw her trying to wrap me in yellow. I cocked my head to the side curiously.

"What are you trying to do?" I asked with a bit of a laugh, and my husband growled.

"Kate, was that really necessary?" He asked in an irritated tone. She just shrugged and gave me a smile.

"I just wanted to see if she was really immune," she said with a wave of her hand. "My gift, I can generate something that feels like an electric current all over my body. Like a living taser pretty much. I've never met someone who I haven't been able to put on their as-butt," she corrected, looking over at my daughter. I giggled.

"Don't worry, her uncle Emmett isn't good at watching his tongue. She knows not to repeat those sorts of words," I assured her.

Kate gasped, then looked at my daughter, then burst out laughing.

"You're cute, kid," she said with a smirk.

"Am I missing something here?" Irina asked with a grin.

My daughter's mental voice echoed throughout the minds in the room_. If she says a swear she has to put a dollar in the jar,_ she told everyone, and I saw Elazar, Garrett, Tanya and Irina look at her wide-eyed.

"And what are you doing with that money?" Kate asked, and I laughed when I realized where they were going with this. Emmett was really bad.

_I'm getting a Lamborghini, I only need five thousand more dollars. American._ She told us seriously. Rose laughed the loudest.

"So what, next month?"

"It's going to be sitting in the garage for a while, because you're not driving until you at least look sixteen," Edward said in a light, but completely serious voice.

"So," Tanya said, stalking towards me confidently. She held out her hand to shake mine, and she gripped me so hard that I winced, and was surprised that my hand didn't shatter. "It's nice to meet you. I'm surprised Edward finally settled down. I'm sure he's told you a lot about me."

My husband's hold tightened on me, and that's when it clicked.

Someone has a crush on my husband, and she's not happy to see me. I was tempted to laugh at her attempt to intimidate me.

"Oh yes, of course. Everyone's told me so many stories about all of you. I'm sorry that we've had to wait so long to meet," I said sweetly, flicking her lightly with my shield to make her lose her grip on me. Her eyes went wide when she was hit with the invisible force. I grinned, rubbing my right hand with my left, and she sighed when she saw my beautiful rings.

"Well, it seems like we must catch up on lost time," she said, her mood a complete flip from a few seconds ago as she gave me a friendly smile. "But first, business. You said your family was in danger Carlisle, from the Volturi no doubt. But they have no grounds…"

"No, they do not. Aro knows the truth of our situation, but he is keeping the information to himself and still coming with the intent to destroy us. We can only stipulate as to why," Jasper said.

"Hmm, I don't think so Elazar. They don't even know any of us are gifted except for Isabella."

"Half conversation bro," Emmett said in a slightly annoyed voice, echoing my thoughts and making me laugh. Edward smiled at me, and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"It was just a thought. Aro is a collector and this is a very gifted family… but if he doesn't know, than this isn't about acquisition."

"It's about power," Tanya said. "As coven of eight, you're probably the biggest cover out there after his. And if you count us, which I'm hoping you do, then you're looking at fourteen… and a half," she said, shooting my daughter a wink.

"That's what we're thinking also," Jasper added.

"So, what can we do to help you? There's no way to fight the Volturi, not with the witch twins," Tanya said.

"We're not asking you to fight," I said cautiously, and then looked to my husband who gave me an encouraging nod. "When I was a human, before I met the Cullens, I was attacked by Aro's recruiter, Elijah." There were a few gasps at that, but no one interrupted me. "He killed my father, but I was protected by a pack of shifters in my home town. They're my family. My…" I took a deep breath to settle myself. Even after all these years, it was still painful to think of Jacob. "Elijah wanted me because of my gift, he wanted to turn me against my will and take me to the Volturi, and my pack destroyed him to protect me. We lost our leader that day. They're my family though, and as soon as Aro touches one of us, he'll know about them, and I have no doubt that he'll try to destroy them. I can't let that happen."

"Well, the only way to prevent that would be to kill Aro. And if you do that, you'll have to kill Caius too," she said casually, in a tone that said how ridiculous that possibility was. "Marcus won't put up much of a fight, he's been waiting for centuries for someone to end his existence."

_That sounds kind of sad,_ Elizabeth noted with a frown. I couldn't help nodding in agreement. I'd heard about the death of his mate, Aro's sister, and what it had done to him. I knew it wasn't an easy thing to live after; losing your soul mate.

"Well, Tanya," I said in a tone that drew the room's attention back to me. "You guessed right. That's exactly what we plan on doing."

"Which is why we called you. We wanted to explain to you what was happening, because a lot of things are about to change. Either in our world, or the rest of the world. You're family, we thought you deserved to know."

"You're all mad," Tanya said in exasperation. "You can't just… it's impossible."

"We don't think it is," Emmett said casually, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table and earning himself a glare from Esme. "You see, we have a secret weapon." He gave me his bright smile, and I rolled my eyes.

"I see that," Elazar said, giving me another wary look. "I've never felt anything like her before," he mused.

"What was that?" Edward said, sitting up and concentrating hard on Elazar.

"A mirror," he mused. "I've never sensed my own power before like that, it's like it's reflecting off the shield, but… absorbing it somehow? It's weird, I don't quite understand it," he said, moving his hands through the air and touching something that no one else could see. Curiously, I pulled my entire shield in towards myself, and grinned when his eyes opened in shock. "Extraordinary."

"My thoughts exactly," my husband purred in a deep voice, tilting my face towards him. His eyes were sparkling, and I got lost in them for a moment before he kissed me.

_Moooommmm,_ Elizabeth groaned. I could tell from the flavour of her thoughts that she was tired, and starting to get a little cranky. I pulled away from my husband with a grin before scooping her up, and she settled her head against my neck. She was asleep within minutes.

"She's lovely dear. You both are, it really is nice to meet you," Carmen said with a gentle voice before cupping my face in her hands. She had the same aura to her as Esme did, so loving and beautiful. "And such beautiful eyes. They reflect your soul," she said in a dreamy voice before giving her me hug. I gave her a tight squeeze back.

"You really think you have a chance at destroying Aro?" Tanya asked, her voice quieter now. I nodded to her. "Hmm. Well this I definitely have to witness. I'll stand by you, but I fear none of us have any way of helping you if it comes to a fight."

"It won't come to that, not for you. But I promise you, that of you that decide to stay, I'll do everything in my power to protect you."

And stay they did. Every one of them. As Elizabeth slept in my arms, while I was curled into my husband's side on the loveseat, we told them of our plans. They shared what they knew about the Volturi with us as well, but it had been over a century since any of our group had seen a member of the guard. We would learn all about their powers soon enough though.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was unfortunate how quickly the time went. There was so much to do though, so many different scenarios to try to plan for without the help of Alice's power. But with fourteen vampires we had a lot of thinking capacity.

And then there was getting to know our new family. I really wish I had met them sooner, it was easy to see why everyone called them our cousins. Our two family's just fit. It was easy, though the house did feel a little crowded.

What surprised me the most though was my new friendship with Tanya. She was a fierce, confident, and extremely loyal person. And she was hilarious. The first moment she'd gotten me alone she'd told me about how she'd been trying to catch Edward's eye for about seventy-five years, but he never really gave her the time of day, or anyone for that matter. She told me that he seemed like a completely different person from the last time she'd seen him. Hearing her say how happy he seemed now… well, it made me feel pretty damn good. She'd had a blast when she'd joined Emmett, Garrett, and Jasper for training sessions with my shield. I thought it was unnecessary, but if it would comfort them to test me then I'd do it with a smile. Garrett clicked with my brothers in an instant, just like Carmen and Elizabeth had. Irina and Kate got along with Alice fairly pretty well, though they told me afterwards that they were better with small doses like this.

Rose was polite with the sisters, but she definitely didn't go out of her way to talk to them. I didn't really think much of it, Rose just wasn't the type to force small talk if she just didn't have anything to say to someone. She wasn't nearly as bad as Elezar though, an oddly quiet person, who I'm pretty sure I caught watching me every once in a while. Whenever I tried to talk to him he seemed extremely uncomfortable. I didn't say anything about it, because it wasn't like he was being out-right rude in any way. He just seemed to not be comfortable around me. I tried not to let it bother me too much either, which was easier said than done.

. . . . . . . . . .

We weren't foolish, and weren't naïve enough to think ourselves completely vulnerable. They were a great power, of course there was a chance that something could happen to one of us. I wasn't perfect, which was my biggest fear. I could only do so much.

We knew we had to take precautions.

Before we had left, we'd turned off not only the water, but the gas and the main electricity lines. The house wasn't the important thing though.

We all hunted on the way, and it was as I laid curled up with Elizabeth in the small dome tent that last night on the flat, wide peak of a snowy mountain, that I confessed what would be happening to her tomorrow.

"Elizabeth, you know you're the most important part of my life, right?"

_I love you too mom_, she thought with a grin and an eye roll.

_Baby, you won't be staying with us tomorrow. You can't._

_What! No, I can't leave you here, I have to stay with you mom!_

_Elizabeth. I can't let you see what's going to happen tomorrow, but more importantly, I have to make sure you're safe. _

_But you need me here, I'm why they're coming, I have to show them I'm not one of those immortal children!_

_You will. You will stay with us until they come, and we will speak to them. When we are done speaking to them, Esme is going to take you away. We'll come to you when it's over. We'll be the only people who are capable of finding you._ The bag was behind me. A black leather backpack than had an extra set of clothes for them, and about three million dollars in cash with some new identification. Just in case.

Saying she was unhappy about this news didn't begin to describe it, but she knew that this was non-negotiable. Edward came into the tent and joined us, curling up on the other side of our daughter. He recited poetry to her in his deep, velvety voice until she fell asleep and we lost the connection to her. Once she was out, he moved to the other side of the tent, and curled up behind me, spooning me as he held me tightly against his chest.

"Love, are you really sure about this?" He asked quietly.

"No, but do I really have any choice? Aro already knows the truth, just telling him isn't going to stop him from trying to destroy us."

"I know, it's just the idea of you-"

"I know Edward," I said, rolling over in his arms so I could face him. His hold on me tightened as I traced my fingers over the curves of his face. His forehead, his cheeks, his strong jaw, and the tendons of his neck. He was so beautiful, the most beautiful man I'd ever met, inside and out. It hurt me to think about it, but I know that even with Elizabeth, I wouldn't be able to live without him. And I know it was the same for him. He loved me just as much as I loved him. We'd either both survive tomorrow, or neither of us would. But no matter what, our daughter would be safe.

There was nothing left to say, because we'd already said it all. I spent the night in his arms, just being held by him as we got trapped in each other's eyes. In the background, part of my mind noticed the blackness of night slowly fade into the greyness of sunrise, then brightened as the sun crawled higher into the sky. When Elizabeth woke up, she started to cry, and it took Jasper's influence to calm her down enough to get her dressed. Once she was, we stepped out of her tent before Emmett broke it back down for us and tossed it away, seeing how far he could throw it from the top of the mountain.

Then, we waited.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was close to one in the afternoon when I first felt them, and the sensation of a group of vampires crossing into my range of feeling reminded me so much of that Christmas day.

Victoria was dead though. She died to get someone stronger to kill me. I hoped she was burning in hell.

We took our positions. Edward, Elizabeth and I standing in the front, with our entire family in a united line behind us. Our small group looked pathetic in comparison to theirs, but looks were very deceiving when it came to my family.

They didn't stop as they made it to the top. I felt the strangest pressure against my shield, the sensation reminded me of the pins and needles of an limb falling asleep.

A second feeling hit my shield then, and I forced myself not to cringing from the sharp pains that were being thrown at my family.

This must be those witch twins Tanya had told me about.

Sure enough, two small vampires lead the front. I could see the confusion on both of their faces as they neared, closer and closer, and we were unaffected.

You'd think they would have stopped when they realized we were protected, but their group just kept on coming.

Until they hit my shield, and came to an abrupt halt. I waited seventeen seconds as the group built up as they stopped, and as soon as they were close together, I flipped my shield, effectively trapping them in one spot.

_Tell them that I have them Elizabeth_, I instructed through the bond, and listened to her mental voice as she told our family in her silent way.

The vampires were banging against my shield, quickly realizing that they were trapped. I took a minute to inspect their colours.

They weren't the same as the newborns, but they were similar, most of them had this dry red, and dark muddy grey hues to them. There were other colours mixed too. At least half of them had the yellows and gold of gifts, and there were hints of bright colours that varied in some of them as well. I made a note of the ones whose colours didn't seem lost or ruined, but there was one in particular that caught my attention.

The three leaders of the Volturi stood together, their black cloaks darker than the other members of their guars and signifying themselves as the leaders. Their skin had an almost translucent quality to them that made them look frail. The two with blond hair, their colours were completely taken over by the muddy greys and reds, but the one with the black hair was completely different. Looking at him… I had the intense urge to just give him a hug. His eyes were vacant, sad and broken, as was his aura. It had the deepest shade of blue I had ever seen, and the colour made me want to cry. This vampire was broken, he wasn't living, and he looked to have no desire to be here. To be anywhere.

How does he function with that sort of pain? I knew that sort of pain, and how hard it was to live with.

I had no desire to kill this vampire, though I'm sure he would except that fate with open arms.

Carlisle stepped forward then, placing a hand on my shoulder before he spoke.

"Aro, it has been so long," he said in a friendly voice. The vampires in the invisible dome all froze, and the mountain was silent aside from the sounds of my daughter's fast heartbeat as she rested on my hip, clinging tightly to my shirt. I saw a few members of the guard look at us closely, they could hear it too.

"It has Carlisle," Aro replied in a very calm voice. "I wish it were under better circumstances though."

"Ah, but see, that is where you are wrong," Carlisle said, his voice taking on a slightly angered edge. "We have done nothing wrong, and you are aware of that."

A dozen or so of their group looked around in confusion at each other, and us.

"We see the proof right in front of us. You have a human holding an immortal child Carlisle."

I rolled my eyes. "Please. I am not a human, nor is my daughter," I said in a clear voice.

"You will not talk to me as such human!" Caius hissed, and I smirked at him.

I looked to my husband, and he nodded before taking my hand. We moved at vampire speed to the edge of my shield, effectively showing them all that I was indeed, not a human.

When I spoke, it wasn't to Aro, or my family, it was to all the vampires I had trapped. They all listened intently. "Aro has come here today with secrets. He knows his accusations are false, and has kept this information from you to use you for his own reasons." I looked up to my husband. "Edward, what are his reasons for coming here today?"

"He sees the size of our coven as a threat. He doesn't like how large we've gotten. Victoria gave him an easy, yet false excuse to destroy us."

"You see Aro, my family has some gifts. My husband here, and the father of my child, can read minds. But unlike you, he needs not to touch someone for it to happen."

"I can hear all of your thoughts, every single one of them right now." He shot a dirty look at someone, which I chose to ignore. More vampires were looking increasingly worried.

"And my sister Alice, she can see into the future, which is why we know that Victoria went to you with her lies, and you kept her secret and lied to your coven to get them here under false pretenses. As you can all see, I am not human, though I am different from you. My daughter is not one of those immortal children that you speak of. She was born, not bitten, and grows every single day. I carried her inside of me until she was strong enough, and then my husband changed me once she was born. She is half human, half vampire. She has a heartbeat, and drinks blood. She has the mental capacity of an adult, and possesses none of the dangers that those bitten children had. You can hear her unique heartbeat, and you can see the flush of blood in her cheeks."

"Artifice! These are but-" He stopped when Aro put his hand on his shoulder, shaking his head slightly at his brother to stop his rambling. To deny what was right before all of them did nothing but made them look foolish. Their guard looked fidgety, suspicious, but it only lasted for a moment before they all seemed to go still, with a slightly glazed look on their faces.

One of them was influencing them with something. I could see her power, little yellow strings that seemed to be tying into the people around them, knitting them together.

And I don't think any of them had a clue that she was doing it, holding them to it. This was not free will, whatever she was doing to them was wrong.

She was going to die as well. We'll see how well they stick together if they're not being forced.

"Well, it seems that I have conflicting information," Aro said with feigned surprise. "Now, if only you would show me the evidence, so we may put this understanding behind us?" Edward growled, and I squeezed his hand to calm him down. "You, young lady, seem centered to all of this. Show me." He held out his hand expectantly.

This was it.

I kissed my daughter, who started to cry, and then kissed Edward, slow and softly, before I saw his heart break in his eyes, and he walked back to the others.

Esme took Elizabeth, and they left. A few tried to chase after them, just to run into my shield again.

I held out my hand with a small smile. I stayed still, waiting. He would have to come to me.

"Don't worry, I'll let you through," I said in a calm voice.

"I'm taking a member of my guard with me."

"No, you're not. You can step out alone, as I stand here before you now." My cold voice echoed around the silence of the mountain. Aro watched me for one long minute, before stepping out of the dome. He shivered as he passed through it, and stopped in front of me. A few tried to escape again, to no avail.

He took two steps closer to me, until we stood within arm's reach of each other.

"You even smell human," he mused, inspecting me slowly. "What an enchanting creature you are. What are you exactly?"

"I have no idea," I said, and held out my hand to him. His eyes flickered with excitement before he placed his hand in mine, and furrowed his brow when he heard nothing.

I could feel him though, pushing at my mind. I closed my eyes to steady myself, and just like I did to let Jasper feel my emotions, I pulled Aro into my mind.

It was only a second, but it felt like twenty years. Every single moment of my life, laid out like a movie for him to take in. He flinched, pulling in a painful breath when he felt Jacob die, when he felt what it was like to have your soul ripped in two, having your life destroyed once again. The sense of loss, emptiness, pain.

But when he got to the end, something else happened.

The connection didn't end.

Aro fell to his knees, and I lost control of my shield as I was pulled into his mind.

Pulled into hell.

Two thousand years of torture, bloodshed, manipulation, destruction, murder, murder, and more murder. Thousands and thousands of people dying. Groups of humans being herded under false pretenses into their castle for mass slaughterings. The destruction of covens that weren't strong enough to fight back, just because he wanted one of their powers. The memories of not only his life, but every thought and every moment of every life that he's touched. There was so much, distracting me from all of the vampires, friendly and otherwise, that had fallen to their knees as Aro had while my mind tried to absorb and process more than any person should ever see in their existence.

When it stopped at the moment he had taken my hand, I ripped my hand away from him with a gasp, and threw my shield around them again before they could rush me. I was gasping, though I didn't need the air, before I reached out and took Aro's throat in my hand. I wasn't as strong as a true vampire, but he felt like glass and I knew it would be all too easy to shatter his neck.

"You're a monster," I hissed. "You're fucking _evil_ and you deserve to be destroyed." I turned back to look at his coven, who had no idea what sort of being they were being controlled by. I leveled my gaze with the knitter.

"Renata!" I hissed, making her flinch. She looked at me with wide, frightened eyes. "Break the ties now, all of them, or you will die."

Just like that, the yellow strings of energy snapped and dissolved. I watched the group as they slowly seemed to wake up from a trance. As the seconds passed, their vacant expressions turned irritated, angered, and confused.

"Members of the Volturi guard. Renata here, under the orders of Aro, has used her powers to influence you. They've manipulated and tied you to them against your own free will. Do you think this is an acceptable way to control a coven?"

No one spoke aloud, though they all watched me as they shook their head is disgust and betrayal. No, they were not happy one bit, but there was someone who he hurt more than the others, and I was compelled to do something about that. He deserved the truth.

"Marcus?" He turned to look at me, and his eyes were so, so sad. Lost. Without Renata's influence, I'm sure he just wanted it to end. "Can you come here please?"

He stepped out of my shield and walked over, not seeming frightened in the slightest. Once he was out though, I saw his eyes look somewhat surprised as he looked around at my family, no doubt seeing the strength of our ties with his gift. It was a pretty interesting gift. He approached me, and with one hand still griping onto Aro's neck, I placed one hand on his shoulder.

"Marcus, Aro has lied to you," I said in a calm voice, but he really just didn't seem to care. Aro was struggling with my grip now, and I tightened my hold on him. I narrowed my gaze at him. "Your own damn sister, your _blood_ Aro. How could you?"

This caught Marcus' attention, a flicker of life lit in his eyes as he looked at us in confusion.

"What about Didyme?" he asked, his voice cracking painfully on her name.

"No!" Aro shouted, cringing from the sound of his glass neck starting to crack under my hold.

"Marcus, Didyme isn't dead." The look in his eyes were pain and disbelief as he shook his head.

"Two thousand years, two thousand years she's been dead… why am I still here?" He narrowed his eyes at Aro. "You kept me here! Why?!"

"Marcus," I said in a calming voice, because I don't think he heard anything I had said other than her name. "She's alive. She's being held in an underground facility in China. Aro told you she was dead, but he had her confined so that your only allegiance would be to him. He was fearful of you leaving him, so he lied and said she was dead so your loyalty was solely to him."

"She's… Alive?"

"Yes," I said, starting to smile.

"Where?"

Aro shook his head, and Marcus was next to me, so close he was touching me, as he fiercely glared at Aro. He was a completely different being as to one minute ago. He's just been giving back his reason for existence.

And he was pissed. Rightfully so.

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

Aro flinched, citing off GPS coordinates to him. Marcus then looked to me, and I saw a bit of fear in him as he took a step back, coincidently backing into my shield and becoming slightly trapped there.

"Are you going to kill me?"

I gave him a gentle smile. "Marcus, you have never sided with him to carry out his evil deeds. You always judged fairly, without malicious intent or personal game. You were always just outnumbered by these two." I nodded my head in the direction of Aro and then Caius. "You were forced into this. I have no reason to kill you, but if you ever give me a reason, I will find you, and destroy you. Do you understand what that means?"

He watched me for one minute, and I saw his eyes widen.

And then he gave me a bright smile, before surprising me by taking my free hand in his, and dropping down to his knees as he kissed the back of my hand.

"I understand, and I own you my life. My everything. If there is ever anything I can do, I am at your disposal… err-"

"It's Isabella," I said with a grin, pulling him back up to his feet. He gave me a tight hug, before disappearing. Aro watched him disappear with sad eyes.

"Caius, step forward," I ordered, not breaking eye contact with Aro.

To his credit, he didn't argue, and walked through my shield.

"Tanya?"

She was by my side in an instant.

"If any one wishes to speak on Caius' behalf, to give me a reason not to kill him, then speak now," Tanya said, stepping forward and wrapping her hands around Caius' neck.

No one spoke.

"You destroyed my family. I hope you burn in hell for eternity," she growled, before shattering his head and ripping him to pieces. I was concentrating on the pain in Aro's eyes, the pain I had waited so many years to inflict on him. It wasn't the same though, because Aro wasn't capable of true love, he also was not able to feel the pain of what it was like to lose it.

"Edward?" He was by my side in a second. "Who wants to attack?"

"There are only the twins. Everyone else feels betrayed, vengeful."

"What about Demetri?"

"I have no desire to be a part of this," the tracker hissed. "I'm not going to live my life as a puppet or a damn lapdog anymore."

He turned and sprang, too fast for Renata to stop him before he tore her to pieces.

"Err, he's telling the truth," my husband told me. Demetri screamed though, falling to the ground and withering in pain, and that was when I dropped my shield, wrapping it around the two smallest members of the Volturi guard. The others had no idea they were free, and thankfully stayed right where they were.

"Irina, Kate?" I asked, and they took the places along side of her sister. "You can reach through to them, but they can't escape."

"Thank-you," they both whispered, and the three of them circled the two small vampires. I was getting my revenge, and after hearing of how the Volturi had dealt with their mother, it was all I could do to give them their revenge as well.

As soon as their screams started, I pushed out my shield again, this time just to make sure they stayed to listen. When the sound of tearing metal came to an end, I watched Aro for a long minute.

"You don't have to do this. I can give you anything in the world. Your family would be taken into the Volturi with open arms, you don't have to-"

"Oh, Aro, but I do. You saw what you've done to me. You destroyed my life, and killed my family. You tore away half of my own soul. If that wasn't reason enough to kill you, you just gave me two thousand years' worth of other reasons. No one in history has deserved to die more than you."

And with that, I slid my hands up to cup his face, then shattered his head in my hands.

My family had already started the fire, and were now gathering the pieces of vampire to throw into it. Jasper and Carlisle came to stand with Edward and I, facing the crowd that was formerly known as the Volturi's Guard.

"You've been controlled for a long time. It's not easy for me to let you go, because I believe it's wrong to kill humans, but at the same time, our own diet of animal blood effects lives as well. We're letting you go, because you're not to be held responsible for Aro's actions. But I will tell you this, and you should listen well and heed my warning, as you have seen what my family and I are capable of." I felt Jasper's gift stretch out to them, filling them with fear and heightening their respect. "The Volturi may be dead, but their rules hold true. Only it will be us who are reinforcing it. We will know if you're lying, we will see it before you even do it, and we will destroy you for it." For added motivation. I flexed my shield, sending them all to their knees. "Does everyone understand this?" I asked, freeing them again quickly.

The way they looked at me, I would never forget that moment. The moment my family changed the world in one afternoon. We let the vampires go, telling them to spread the word that there was a new order in our world. Our life wouldn't be easy, but my life never had been.

But I had stepped out of the shadow of a curse that had followed me my entire life. My family was safe. I had finally been able to protect them, and it gave me a sense of pride that I'd never really felt before. The packs were safe. Victoria was dead. The Volturi were destroyed and their members freed.

Not all of them had left. Two vampires had remained, and they had surprised me by doing so. When our cousins from the north left, Felix and Demetri left with them, both glued to the hip of Tanya and Irina respectfully.

Elizabeth cried when we met her and Esme that night, before we all went back to the main house. We were all sort of dazed, having trouble coming to terms with everything that had happened. The position we put ourselves in. Our lives changed completely that day as we made plans for our new life, having to set up some sort of court away from humans, where the vampires of the world would be able to report the crimes of others to the Cullen Clan. No matter what came our way though, we knew without a doubt that our family could handle anything.

There was nothing stronger than my family. We'd be safe and together until the end of time.

**The End.**

**Hey guys! So, that's it. I may do a future take some time, but I have no plans for one at the moment. I just want to say thank you to anyone who took the time to read this far into my story, and especially to those who reviewed, followed, or favourited. Please leave a review, so others might give it a chance to read!**

**A really big thank-you to two people though. kiwihipp and catharticone, your amazing reviews gave me the motivation to actually finish the story. Thank you so much, your kind words meant more than you could ever know. **

**Thanks again readers, it's been fun. Take care!**

**-Kitty**


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